Baby Talk

Tykables Overnights again tonight.  

Hi, you can introduce yourself in The Newbie Nursery and you may have missed the Rainbow Diapers forum for the LGBTQ crowd but welcome to DD. Hugs, Freta

Chapter 18 Erinne’s Trials   The hard part was done. The doctor knew. Me and Greinne had to stay in our room. Erinne and Sorsche could go home, but they didn't. They stayed with us until Sean and Susan were ready to leave with Aoife. “Greinne has a bad infection,” The doctor told Sean.  “And I don’t like her posture, especially when he walks.”  I shuddered.  Greinne said that Daddy hit her because of posture.   “She not bad,” I whispered.  “She trying to be good.” The doctor frowned at me, then at Greinne. He sat on my bed and put his hand on my leg. My leg was moving again, like before. "I didn't say I didn't like her posture because she did something wrong, honey. I mean, it shows she has hurts we can't see so easy." “Huh?” “Like your hurt hips that your parents couldn’t see because you were walking around them.  Remember?” I nodded. “Your sister has some injuries that we still cannot see.  She’s holding herself the way she is because something is still wrong.  She’s not bad, child.  She just needs help.” “Okay.” I felt sad inside.  I wondered if Greinne was hurt more.  I hoped she wasn’t going to die.  I wondered if I should have told a teacher, but with Daddy, telling anyone meant you got hit.  But I should have told.  Greinne is really hurt.  I get hit anyway.  I should have told.  I felt a ghost-like hand grasping through my clothes, through my body, and into my heart, and it squeezed. I coughed and held my chest.  I squirmed in the cold chill of guilt.  I should have told.  Tears flooded my eyes, but I couldn’t make a sound.  It was all my fault. “Breathe,” I heard the familiar bear-like sound of Sean.  “Just breathe, baby.  Your sister is going to be okay.  She’s here, and the doctor is looking into what is causing her problems, honey.  It’s okay.” “I should have told,” I felt the words come out weaker and more whispery than I meant to.  “It’s my fault she hurt.  Daddy couldn’t have hurt her if I told.” Greinne’s voice was weak from the other bed, but she responded.  “You couldn’t tell, Cait!  He would have hurt you badly.  It wasn’t your responsibility to tell.” “You got hurt because me.  I too stupid to tell.” “Cait, you are not stupid.  You were smart not to tell.  Who knows what Daddy would have done.  No one was there to protect you if you told.” I felt myself peeing.   At first, it was a slow little bit, but then it got hard on my stomach and started to push faster and faster.  I was a flooding icky warm peed in my diaper baby before I knew it. My legs moved naturally, as though they knew better than my mind, that I had done wrong.  The sheets covered my diaper, but still, my legs scrambled to try to rub and push the wetness of the diaper down between my legs to hide it from view.  I shivered a little, but I wasn’t scared of Sean, or Susan, or even the doctor.  I was allowed to do it, but my body knew it was wrong. Dr. Henderson smiled at me as he let me lay back.  His eyes were kind, and he positioned me on my back in a more comfortable position.  He then touched my fingers, and he nodded.  “You know you can’t get out of bed yet, sweetheart.  You have no choice right now.  It’s okay.  We can always change you, little one.  Healing is more important than getting to the toilet right now. That’s when I knew he knew I was peeing my pants. "I'll get her," Sean walked forward.  "Unless you're not done with her." "I'm finished for now," Doctor Henderson said.  "Go ahead and clean your baby up and check the other one over there.  She's not to get out of bed either until I clear it, so she's going to start wearing diapers fulltime, too, until we get her sorted.  I need to go check on some other patients and then plan my next steps with Cait and Greinne." Sean reached under the television table into a door that closed off our diapers from anyone just slipping in, and he pulled one out for me.  He smiled.  "It's okay, baby.  We'll get you all fresh." Susan continued to hold Aoife, and she looked at Erinne.  "I'm watching.  Go check your other sister, and tell me if she's wet." "Yes, ma'am," Erinne answered, and she walked over to Greinne's bed. I felt as Sean picked me up from the wet sheets and Sorsche pulled them off my bed.  Sean’s thick, strong fingers were careful as they braced my back and the backs of my upper legs.  The diaper sagged, and he laid me on a fresh towel Sorsche put down, the sagging diaper for a moment not directly on my butt, and then I felt the heaviness of my body on top of the wet material. “There we go,” Sean’s bear-growl ever soothing me when he mumbled something. He undid the tapes, and the diaper fell from around my waist. Chill air covered my wet skin.  I skirmed without meaning to, but Sean just smiled and sort of laughed a bit. “Easy, sweetie,” he breathed.  “We just need to wipe off the pee pee, and then we can start getting you in a clean diapee.” His hands were warm when he wiped me, and he sprinkled baby powder that had that scent that filled the air with safety.  It went over my hips like a light snowfall, sort of like Susan does when she puts flour on baking pans. He picked me up again, and Sorsche took the wet towel off of the bed.  She put a clean one down then Sean laid me down before he pulled the scratchy hospital sheet over me. I didn’t smile though until he draped the wood scented shirt over my chest. I blushed, but I knew I was safe.  All of my sisters knew me as the sister that peed all the time, so I didn't even care that Aoife saw me needing to be changed.  Still, somehow, I felt weird.   Sean was different about how he changed me.  That’s what was weird. Daddy would pull me by the arm and yank me up to get to my wet nickers and yank them down my legs, touching as little of them as possible and calling me disgusting.  Daddy wiped me roughly with a towel just enough that he said the smell was gone, but I don’t think it was.  I was nothing but a rag doll in his hands. Sean, when I peed my pants, he held me like I was a precious lamb from his farm.  He called me a good girl.  He said that I was allowed to be a little girl.  He said I was allowed, I was loved, and he....  He held me a lot more.  He picked me up like I mattered, and he talked to me like I mattered. As Sean pulled my fresh diaper up, Greinne spoke, her voice stronger now, but still strained. "Erinne? Did you tell them about my leg?" Erinne hesitated, glancing at Susan before nodding. "Greinne?" She sounded like she was being careful, like what she said might start a fight.  "I... I had to.  It will keep Daddy from ever making me hit you like that again, and Daddy?  And Mommy?  They can't kick you like that ever again.  So.  I had to tell.  I just figured if he found out, I'd just blame Cait because Sean and Susan are trying to adopt her.  Even if he gets us back, he can't hurt Cait anymore.  So I'd just tell Daddy the doctors told me Cait already told, so I had no choice." I stopped.  I was not afraid of her blaming me.  I was always blamed.  But Erinne had planned this all from the beginning.  That why she told me to keep peeing my pants in front of the McKinneys.  She knew they were going to check.  She hoped they would grow to like me.  I could see it somehow, but I don’t know why.  She planned on just telling Daddy I caused it all, and then no one would be in trouble, and I’d get to go somewhere safe, and the rest of them would live like usual.  I still felt hurt that she would blame me, but I knew why. Sean's hands stilled against my hips, the diaper half-fastened. His jaw tightened. "No one," he said, low and rough, "is blaming Cait for anything. Ever." He turned his head toward Erinne, and for the first time, I saw something dark flicker in his eyes. "And no one is ever hitting Greinne again. You don’t have to lie for her. Not here." "Daddy might turn on Erinne, though, if he finds out she betrayed him," Greinne whispered.  "She has to... say something." Sean exhaled sharply through his nose, fingers finishing the diaper tapes with deliberate gentleness.  "Then we'll say I told."  He cupped my hipbone—where the worst of the bruises had faded to sickly yellow—before tucking the blanket around me.  "I'm an adult. Let him try." I looked up at Sean with adoration.  "You only would know, though, if I told." Sean nodded.  "And I did know." Sorsche whispered.  "So, Cait, actually told.  She told you.  So, Cait will still be blamed even if Erinne doesn't use those words." Sean's hands clenched briefly into fists before relaxing.  "No," he said firmly.  "We'll say the hospital called me—that they had concerns when Greinne was admitted and demanded answers.  That way, Cait isn't involved."  He smoothed a hand over my hair, his touch lingering.  "And if your father comes near any of you again, he'll answer to me." "Is Daddy going to get Erinne back?" Sorsche asked, shivering suddenly. Sean stopped for a moment, just a moment, but Greinne caught it.  Her fingers twisted the sheet over her between them.  “He won’t,” she blurted out.  “He wouldn’t.” But her voice sounded like it was about to cry. "I meant, is Erinne going back to Daddy, Greinne?" Sorsche said more clearly.  "If she's the only one he gets back, and he has no one else to hit, why wouldn't he hit her?  He's mad!" Erinne’s fingers grasped the railing of the bed, Greinne was lying in, causing her fingers to seem to turn white.  “I... I’ll be okay.  I can take it.”  Her voice was shaking, but it also sounded like she believed this was right.  She seemed to tense as though she was ready for Daddy to hit her right then. Susan shifted Aoife in her arms and stepped forward, her voice steady but edged with something sharp. "No one is taking anything. Not anymore." She glanced at Sean, her gaze locking with his in silent understanding before she turned back to Erinne. "You think we'd let him lay a hand on you? After everything?" "I'd deserve it.  Look what I did to Sorsche and Greinne, and even Cait didn't get off easy from me hitting her for Daddy." “Honey, you were a kid holding a belt because you thought it was the only way.  That’s not you, baby.  That’s that monster.”  Sean’s fingers were twitching against my blanket, and his fingers seemed stressed as he finished his thought.  The air smelled a bit like cleaner, and there was the tang of hospital sterileness in the sheets, but under it all, there was still the faint scent of safety.  There was the scent of cedar wood that came from Sean’s shirt that lay on my chest. Erinne sighed, and she pushed Greinne over gently to check her butt. "Sissy peed her pants," she told the room.  "Who's going to change her?" "I will," Susan said in a whisper.  "Erinne, come and hold Aoife for a bit." Susan gently pushed Aoife off her lap for Erinne to come and take.  Aoife squirmed to get down and then looked up as Erinne sat.  Erinne just held Aoife, with Aoife standing between her legs as she held her around her stomach, protectively. Greinne stiffened a little as Susan moved towards her bed, having gotten a fresh diaper from the same place Sean got one from.   When Susan pulled the sheet gently back, I saw the fully soaked bed under her.  The diaper she had on was useless.  I think she must have peed at least three times to get that much pee to come out of the diaper like that. Susan didn’t even flinch, though.  She just cooed at her. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.  You aren’t allowed out of bed right now.  You have a bad owie inside your body.  No one minds you being wet.” Greinne’s face was crimson red, though, and she shivered.  She never peed her pants, just when she was sleeping.  She didn’t even do that on purpose.  She just couldn’t wake up in time. Greinne's fists curled into the sheets as Susan gently wiped her down, her breath hitching with every touch.  "I didn't mean to," she mumbled, her voice thick with shame. "We know, baby," Susan shushed at her and touched her nose.  "You're a big girl, but you have big owies, and before you are allowed to go to the bathroom on your own again, those owies need to be fixed, so you wear diapers... just until then, okay?" Greinne nodded, but her lips trembled.  Susan pulled her fresh diaper up and taped it carefully, then kissed Greinne's forehead.  "You're so brave." "The doctors told Sorsche and me that we can go home today," Erinne told us.  "That's good news, right?  If he has fewer of us to check on, then he can heal Greinne and Cait twice as fast." Sean sighed deeply.  "That's not exactly how hospitals work, honey." Erinne frowned at him.  "I was trying to give them some hope," and she stomped over to a corner and sat pouting. Susan tucked Greinne back in, smoothing the blanket over her hips where the diaper's bulk made a slight lump under the covers. "Hope's good," she said quietly, "but so is honesty." She glanced at Sean, who was adjusting my IV line with more focus than necessary. "We'll figure this out. All of us." "And..." Erinne frowned as she sat still in a temper.  "I fucking pissed myself again, too." The room went silent except for the faint hum of the hospital's fluorescent lights. Aoife, still nestled in Erinne's lap, patted her sister's cheek with a sticky hand, oblivious to the tension. Erinne's face burned crimson as she shifted awkwardly in the plastic chair, the unmistakable sound of damp fabric sticking to vinyl cutting through the quiet. Susan didn't hesitate—she crossed the room in three strides and crouched beside Erinne, her hands already reaching for the diaper bag. "Let's get you fixed up, love," she murmured, unfastening Erinne's jeans with the same matter-of-fact care she'd shown Greinne. "I feel like I'm a stupid fucking baby, and worse, you just said I was stupid when I tried to cheer Greinne and Cait up.  I am so useless!  I hit them.  I don't say stuff right, and now, I've pissed my pants again like... like I don't know what the hell I am doing!" Susan's hands stilled on Erinne's waistband, her thumbs brushing the sharp jut of the older girl's hipbones through the fabric. "You're thirteen," she said evenly. "And you've spent years thinking you had to be an adult. Let someone else carry it for once." The diaper crinkled as she pulled it up Erinne's thighs—too big, meant for younger kids, but it would do for now. "I'm not an adult," Erinne cried as Susan fixed the diaper on her and then helped her adjust herself, her wet jeans still on the floor. "I think we have an extra pair of pants in the car for you, honey.  Remember the other day when we were out with our friends, and we talked about bringing extra clothes for all of you?" Erinne sniffled and nodded, her fingers twisting in the hem of her shirt.  The diaper beneath her crinkled loudly as she shifted, and Aoife giggled, patting the bulky padding curiously.  "Sissy's diaper," Aoife announced proudly, as if this were perfectly normal. Sean knelt beside Susan, pulling a flannel shirt from the hospital bag—one of his, the fabric worn soft from years of wear. He draped it over Erinne’s shoulders, letting the sleeves swallow her trembling hands. "Here," he murmured. "Smells like cedar and safety, right?" "Those are Cait's words, sir.  I still don't really know you." She sniffled.  "I'm sorry.  It's just...." “Like cedar,” I whispered, my voice barely audible as I watched from my bed. Erinne’s shoulders stiffened.  The diaper crinkled under her as she twisted to look at me, Sean’s flannel swallowing her frame like a cloak.  Her eyes were red-rimmed, raw.  I knew that look. Sometimes, when Daddy made her punish us, she’d lock herself in the bathroom for a while, so we couldn’t hear her, but then she’d come back out with her eyes looking exactly like that. "I know it's hard to trust after the person you should have trusted had been so... not worth it," Sean said with sympathy.  "But we'll take it slow.  Even if you don't feel safe with it on, you can still wear it to hide the diaper from view, okay?" Erinne pulled the flannel tighter around herself, her fingers gripping the fabric tightly.  The smell of cedar was there, and she must have smelled it.  It was better than Daddy’s tobacco and alcohol.  It wasn’t angry stuff.  It was nature stuff.  I don’t know what she felt if not safe, but she didn’t drop the shirt. Susan finished taping the diaper snug around Erinne’s hips, then gently tugged a spare pair of sweatpants from the hospital bag—Sean’s, by the look of them, the hem rolled up twice to fit. "Arms up," she murmured, and Erinne obeyed mechanically as Susan guided the sweats over the bulky diaper, her movements precise. No one spoke. The only sound was the rustle of fabric and the distant beep of monitors down the hall. Aoife, still perched on Erinne’s knee, reached up to pat her sister’s damp cheek. "Sissy sad?" she asked, her tiny voice cutting through the tension like a knife through gauze. Erinne’s breath shuddered, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she pulled Aoife’s wrist closer to her as she hugged—not tight, just enough to feel the pulse there, steady and alive. Susan smoothed the sweats over Erinne’s diaper, her touch lingering on the younger girl’s knee. "You’re okay," she murmured, though it wasn’t really a reassurance—more like a fact, solid as the floor beneath them. Aoife wriggled closer, pressing her face into Erinne’s collarbone. "I stay wif you," she announced, sticky fingers clutching the flannel. Erinne froze, then exhaled sharply through her nose, her arms tightening around Aoife like she was the only thing anchoring her to the earth. Sorsche walked over and stood next to Erinne and put a hand gently on her shoulder.  "You know Daddy hurt you, too." "I didn't get hit all the time," Erinne looked up at her. "But you cried when you hit Cait, and you weren't always happy to hit me or Greinne.  I know, sometimes you were, but sometimes....  You weren't." Erinne nodded. "I didn't want to," she whispered, her voice cracking. The diaper beneath her rustled as she shifted, pulling Aoife closer. "But he’d look at me—that way he does—and I’d just... do it. Because if I didn’t..." Her fingers traced the edge of Sean’s flannel sleeve, frayed from wear. "He’d do worse." "You thought you were protecting us by hitting us... so Daddy wouldn't?" Erinne flinched at Sorsche's quiet words, her fingers tightening in Aoife's curls. The scent of baby shampoo mixed with the cedar of Sean's flannel as she buried her face against the top of Aoife's head. "Yes," she whispered, the word muffled against her sister's hair. "But you hated me?" She whispered. "Just cause I hated you for being a cause I couldn't see my own mom didn't mean I wanted this to happen to you." The IV line tugged at my wrist as I strained to hear them. Sorsche's fingers flexed against Erinne's shoulder—not pushing, just holding on. "You think I didn't notice?" Sorsche's voice dropped to a whisper only we could catch. "Every time Daddy made you use the belt, you'd pick the spot where he'd already hit me. Same bruise. Same place. You were..." She swallowed hard. "You were trying to make it hurt less." "I... Um... I didn't do it on purpose?" but her words were a give away.  The way she hesitated when she said it like a question.  She knew exactly what she was doing, like she missed me with every third swing of the belt. Sorsche pulled Erinne into her arms, ignoring the way the diaper crinkled between them. "You're a shitty liar," she said—but there was no heat in it. Just exhaustion, and something softer beneath. "Always have been." Erinne's breath hitched against Sorsche's shoulder, her hands clutching at her sister's back like she might disappear. Aoife squirmed between them, wedged in the embrace, her tiny fingers tangling in Erinne's borrowed flannel. "Sissy," she chirped, oblivious, "you squishin' me."  

Every year on our birthday we would get taken out to eat alone while our siblings stayed home with our grandmother who lived with us. I always chose Valleys Steak House because they had a 2 lobster dinner however you wanted it cooked. I always ordered baked stuffed lobsters and fries. I always finished them too! Hugs, Freta

Haha we knew Beth would stay!  Great chapter, I'm glad we didn't get tortured by another cliffhanger at the end of the book 😜 I'm still pretty sure Carly will ultimately stay in the diaper dimension, but they might get there in some roundabout way after Beth working at an embassy somehow fails...