Baby Talk

@~Brian~:  Good to hear from you and that you’re catching up on things.  I’ve been occasionally thinking about you.  Figured you were having some medical “fun”.  Best wishes, prayers , and take care.

I hate tailgating...I have sedans so sometimes they have super bright lights in my rear mirror, even with it turned up...  Ugh. It seems like people in SUVs just look over you like you don't exist that causes them to tailgate?  And of course they block your view.

Souvenir Wooden Hetmans Mace On Stand Stock Photo 2433321821 | Shutterstock

Baked chicken in a sauce 

This will not be a particularly complicated story, nor is it terribly original. It will hit many of the same notes as any number of stories on this site and, as such, should probably not be read by anyone 😊. But it’s been kicking around in my head, and I need to procrastinate on some other responsibilities, so here it is. There will be no overly cruel punishments, abusive parents, forced regression, or turning a bedroom into a crib. Neither, however, is it a slow burn or an attempt at 100-chapter serial. Just your run-of-the mill DL story about a kid who discovers that he likes going potty in his pants. This is intentionally not great literature - there are no deep conflicts. It's just the kind of story I enjoy as I reflect on my early days of trying to come to grips with wanting to have "accidents" on purpose, though that never led to diapers until I bought them myself much later.  I don't know if there will be any more chapters after these two. If there is interest, I have some ideas for a few more chapters.  Part One: It was an accident!  Jacob sat on the school bus, growing increasingly concerned. While he should have been rejoicing that it was Friday and that he only had one week of second grade left, all he could think about was how bad he had to use the bathroom.    His need had been growing since lunchtime; while he normally pooped before school, he hadn’t been able to go that morning. And he absolutely hated using the school toilets. Not only were they frequently disgusting, but it was also not uncommon that some of the more annoying boys in the class would throw things over the stall at anyone who was using the bathroom. When school ended, Jacob wasn’t concerned about making it home to the toilet. He needed to go, but it wasn’t an emergency As the ride continued, however, the pressure began to grow. As Jacob began to worry that he might not make it home, he grew increasingly nervous. It would be one thing if this were a one-time incident, but he’d had a series of accidents over the last week. While each was unrelated, he was really worried about what his mom would say if he had another one. The first accident had been the previous Saturday. He was playing at a local neighborhood park with some friends. He knew he needed to pee, but didn’t want to stop playing. While all his friends happily went over to the tree line and peed outdoors, Jacob had never been comfortable peeing outside. By the time he finally gave in and headed to his house, it was too late. Halfway home the damn burst and he fully wet his shorts. His mom and dad weren’t mad but told him to come home sooner next time. As this was his first accident in over a year, they weren’t too concerned. Then on Wednesday it had happened again. This time, he swore it wasn’t his fault. Wednesday was club day, and the one day a week his mom picked him up rather than riding the bus home. He was at puzzle club for their last meeting of the school year when the teacher/sponsor had to step out for a minute. He told the students not to leave the room, that he would be back in a few minutes. Jacob, unfortunately, really needed to pee. He had been about to ask to go to the bathroom when the teacher left. He knew the school rules during the day would require him to have a bathroom pass, and he didn’t know if he would get in trouble if he left the room without permission. Finally, he decided to risk it and run to the bathroom; unfortunately, as it was after school, the first bathroom he got to was being cleaned. Before he made it to the next one, he began to lose control. He felt himself start to pee and struggled to hold it back. By the time he made it to the toilet, there were obvious wet marks on his pants, though he did avoid a complete soaking. As he tried to hold back tears, he had walked back to the classroom. When he got to the door, he made eye contact with his now returned teacher and motioned for him to come out. As soon as the teacher saw him, he came out and walked him to the office. On the way, he told Jacob that club was almost over anyway, the school was empty and no one would see him. He also told him that if this ever happened again, he had permission during clubs to go to the bathroom. At the office, they called his mom, Maria, who was already on the way with Jacob’s four-year-old brother in tow. Rather than picking him up at the usual location, she came in the school to pick him up at the office and was able to shield him from other students. On the way home, she said, “Two accidents in a week! If this continues we may have to do something about this!” She was smiling as she said it, but saw the panic on Jacob’s face as he struggled to hold back tears. He said, “I would have made it if the teacher had been there and the bathroom hadn’t been closed!” She responded, “Jacob, it’s ok – accidents happen. You do need to pay more attention to your bladder and not wait so long, but you’re not in trouble. We’ll get you home and clean you up.” Gavin had started to laugh, but even at four, realized that there was just enough tension to not say anything. That night, Maria and Jacob’s dad did have a short conversation with him that he was getting older now and needed to pay attention to his bathroom needs more. Jacob really didn’t feel the conversation was necessary as these were his first accidents in a very long time and just a few months earlier he had finally been able to stop wearing goodnites to bed as his bedwetting had almost completely stopped. While he still had the occasional pee dream, he normally woke up before he completely wet the bed leading, at most, to slightly damp underwear. As he thought about all of this while sitting on the bus trying not to poop his pants – the two accidents, being dry at night, and his parents’ warning that he needed to be responsible – he was concerned about what his mom would say if he didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. Initially, Jacob was convinced he was going to make it. His confidence began to wane when he stood up at his stop. Thankfully, there was only one other kid getting off at his stop today, and they would be walking in different directions. Jacob’s internal debate once the bus left was whether to walk/run quickly but give up a little control, or walk slowly while really trying to hold it in. He initially decided on the latter strategy, only to feel the first bit of poop begin to push out. When he clenched to try and hold it in, he felt a spurt of pee and looked down; sure enough, it was just enough to leave a small spot on his khaki shorts. He broke into a run. That proved to be a mistake. A very large movement began to work its way into his underwear. He felt the pressure of it against his underwear and thought it might stop, but it just kept coming. By the time he got to his door, his bowels had fully emptied and his pants felt about 10 pounds heavier. To add insult to injury, his bladder had joined the fun and added to the wet spot on his shorts. As he paused at this door, his concern turned to his mother. She worked from home; some days she was so busy either with work or Gavin that Jacob could make it upstairs without seeing her. He hoped today was one of those days. It was not. Maria was in the kitchen when Jacob entered the house. “Hey Jacob, how was school today? Put your backpack down and come grab a snack. I made a special almost-end-of-the school year snack for you and Gavin.” “That’s ok, mom, I’m going to head upstairs for a minute!” Jacob was hoping he could make it to the upstairs bathroom, clean up and change before his mom found out about his accident. He hadn’t figured out what to do with his now very poopy underwear, but he knew he didn’t want his mom to see him. Maria, being a mom, heard the quiver in Jacob’s voice and said, “hold on a sec – I’ll be right there.” As she approached the entry way, she saw the wet streaks on Jacob’s shorts and the tears on his cheeks. “Oh, Jacob, you had another accident. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Then she paused for a second, not believing her nose. “Jacob, did you poop your pants?” “No,” he responded quietly, trying not to cry. Maria, normally patient, turned Jacob around and pulled out the back of his shorts and underwear, inspecting the damage. “Please don’t lie to me again. Head up to your bathroom and wait for me to get there.” Maria was a little concerned. Jacob was a good kid who really didn’t get in trouble much, but this was three accidents in a week, and this one was poopy on top of it. Four-year-old Gavin hadn’t even had an accident in weeks, though he was still in diapers at night. She really was at a loss at what to do. At the moment, however, she had to deal with Jacob’s messy underwear. She grabbed a trash bag and a package of diaper wipes and headed upstairs. Maria laid the trash bag on the bathroom floor and said, “stand on this and take your shorts off. Not your underwear. Just let the shorts fall down and step out of them.” Once Jacob had done that, Maria helped him ease his underwear down and cleaned him up with the diaper wipes “Ok, Jacob, while I deal with this, hop in the shower and finish cleaning up. Use a washcloth and make sure to wash your bottom very well. Once you’re done, wrap yourself up in a towel and come to your room.” Jacob couldn’t believe he had pooped himself. His mom wasn’t yelling at him, but she was clearly not happy. Once Jacob finished his shower, he went to his room where he found his mother waiting for him. She began to speak, “Jacob, I’m not mad, but you have had three accidents in one week. You pooped your pants today.” Jacob started to interject to defend himself. One look from his mom told him to wait. She asked him, “are you feeling bad, or do you not notice when you need to go?” Jacob shook his head no, “they’re just accidents. I waited too long to come home from the park, but the other accidents weren’t my fault! I didn’t know I could leave the club to go the bathroom and then the bathroom I went to was closed. Today, I didn’t want to use the bathroom at school because they’re gross and just couldn’t make it home!” Maria answered, “well, part of growing up is managing your potty needs. You’ve been really good! You are dry at night, but three times in one week is hard to ignore. If you are having a problem, we can go to the doctor, but we need to do something.” “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I’m not sick. They were just accidents.” “Well, we are going to try to do something to drive home that this is important. So here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to wear one of Gavin’s diapers for the rest of the evening and overnight. Every time you need to use the bathroom, you are going to come find me or your dad when he gets home. If you don’t keep the diaper dry, you will wear a diaper whenever we are home this weekend.” Jacob began crying, “but what if we have to go somewhere?” Maria answered, “we’re not trying to embarrass you – we won’t make you wear a diaper out of the house or if anyone comes over, but we just want to make sure you take this seriously.” With that, Maria told Jacob to lay on the bed. She left for a moment a returned with a diaper. “I’m not even going to powder you because I don’t think you will use this diaper.” As she diapered him, Jacob began to calm down. Jacob was average size for a 7 year old; his brother was almost five and wore size 7 pampers. They were a little snug on Jacob, but not unreasonably so. Jacob was still sniffling as Maria taped the diaper up, but he was no longer actively crying. He was determined that he was not going to wet this diaper. Once she was done, Maria helped Jacob sit up and handed him a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. She gave him a hug and said, “let’s go have that treat now. And remember, let me know if you need to use the potty.” Jacob was certain he was going to keep the diaper dry.   That evening, Jacob twice asked his parents for help going to the bathroom. Before bed, Maria went ahead and put a new diaper on him as the tapes on the first one were beginning to give out. As he laid down to go to sleep, Jacob really thought about the diaper for the first time. He was upset he was wearing it, but he also realized that he had indeed had three accidents in one week. He needed to pay better attention. At the same time, he had kind of been missing the feeling of his goodnites. Once his last box ran out, his parents decided his bed wetting was infrequent and light enough that he could wear regular underwear to bed. Jacob felt much older when he started wearing regular underwear to bed, but the goodnites had been comforting. This diaper was thicker and softer. Though embarrassing, he kind of liked how it felt. That night, he had one of his pee dreams. During most of these dreams, Jacob would be in search of a toilet but would always come across a very dirty, broken, or public place that he just didn’t want to pee in. Eventually, he would give in to use whatever weird toilet he had found and start peeing. Normally, he would jolt awake just as he started peeing. Most nights, he woke up before any damage occurred. On occasion, he would let out a little spurt that would dampen his pajamas before he ran to the bathroom. On this night, he didn’t dream about toilets. Instead, his dream involved his mother putting a diaper on him. In the dream, his mom didn’t tell him to keep it dry, however. She told him he was diapered and could just use it. He kept trying to resist until he finally gave in and started to wet his diaper. Jacob woke up just as he started to pee and managed to stop. As he usually did when he woke up from a pee dream, he immediately reached to feel the front of his pajamas. That’s when he remembered he was actually wearing a diaper. He didn’t think it felt wet, and was determined not to wear a diaper all weekend, so he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He managed to undo one side of the diaper, pee, and then sort of get the tape back on before going back to bed. The next morning, his mother came in a little earlier than she normally would on a Saturday. She asked, “did you sleep ok?” Jacob nodded. Maria then said, “let me check your diaper, and if it’s dry, you can get dressed in underwear.” He stood up and started to take off his pajama bottoms. As his mom reached to feel the diaper, Jacob said, “Mom! Can I just take it off in the bathroom and show you?” “Sure, honey, that would be fine.” Jacob went to the bathroom while his mother waited outside. He took off the diaper and used the potty. Though he thought it was weird, after he washed his hands he opened the door and handed his mom the diaper. “It seems a little damp,” Maria said. “I had a pee dream, but I woke in time to go to the potty. I guess a little leaked out.” “I think we will count that as dry, then. Jacob. That’s not out of the ordinary for you. You can stay in underwear this weekend, but you need to be more careful. We will revisit this if you have any more accidents; you have a physical coming up soon as well. We can talk about it with your doctor.” Being forced to wear a diaper one evening was enough for Jacob. Though he had to admit it was kind of soft and comfortable, he was not going to have any more accidents.   Part Two: Making a Choice As the school year ended and summer began, Jacob had avoided any more accidents or even any really close calls. Gavin had asked a few questions the Saturday after Jacob pooped his pants, but he listened when Maria and James (Jacob’s dad) had told him sometimes accidents happen and not to make fun of his brother. Jacob was always nice to him about his nighttime diapers and never laughed when he had an accident, so Gavin left it alone. Jacob had even overcome his fear of the school toilets during the last week of school, though he was still nervous when he had to use it. Still, Jacob had been thinking about his accidents a lot. He had also been thinking about the night he had spent in a diaper. He did not want to have accidents and he did not want to be a baby – he loved being recognized for his maturity! But at the same time, as he thought back to how it felt when he wet and messed his pants, he didn’t really hate it. He was kind of curious what it would be like to do it again and have time to really feel it. When he thought about this, though, he immediately dismissed the thought as ridiculous. Even more, he was really curious about wearing a diaper again. He considered just stealing one of his brother’s to see what it was like, but with his mom around the house all the time, he didn’t think this was realistic. And just like the idea of having another accident created conflicting emotions, he really didn’t want to be put back in a diaper or get caught in a diaper. At least he really tried to convince himself he didn’t want to. This led to the fateful day. Jacob typically got up fairly early in the morning for a 7-year-old on summer break. During the summer, he spent a lot of time playing with his friends, playing video games, and swimming at the neighborhood pool. Today, however, Jacob was in his backyard playing on his and Gavin’s play set. After some time spent climbing around, Jacob found himself beside their little sandbox playing with his trucks. Though he usually thought of himself as too old for his digging toys, this morning he was having fun. He also realized he hadn’t pooped yet and was beginning to really need to use the bathroom. He decided to keep playing rather than rushing inside. As he played, he began to wonder what it would feel like to just let go in his pants. The more he tried to push this idea aside, the more he thought about doing it. He didn’t really think about consequences, he was just thinking about seeing what it would feel like. Eventually, he reached the point where he had to make a choice: go inside and use the bathroom or let nature take its course. While playing he had moved into a semi-squatting position, resting on his knees. He started to get up to go inside and then just didn’t. He relaxed to see what would happen. Nothing. He gave a small push and felt his underwear dampen. At that, he looked down at his crotch and gave another push. He was fascinated as his gray shorts began to darken from another spurt of pee. Then he felt his poop start. He watched between his legs as the lump began to grow, fascinated with all the feelings of pooping his underwear on purpose. He remembered the weight of his accident from a few weeks ago; this was very similar. As the first bit of poop began to slow down he gave another push which not only caused the lump in his shorts to grow but also led to a full soaking of his pants. He was fascinated with the pee running from his shorts onto the ground. While it seemed to take forever, he was soon finished, now with very full, very wet pants.   Maria had just taken a break and was about to head outside to take Jacob a drink and have a chat about their summer plans. As she got to the back door, she paused as something about Jacob’s posture seemed odd. He was squatting down, very still and was looking at the ground it seemed; she was actually a little worried about him when she noticed the back of his shorts began to balloon out. No, there was no way he was doing what she thought he was doing. Then she saw streams of pee hitting the ground. She really didn’t know what to think; she was so surprised she wasn’t even mad. Maria opened the door.   Jacob’s bliss at the feelings of his “accident” lasted only a few moments before panic set in. What had he done? How was he going to hide this? What would his mom say? At that moment he heard the door open. He froze. In his mind, if he didn’t move, maybe she wouldn’t see the evidence of his accident.   Maria walked toward Chris, “hey honey, I brought you some water – you don’t want to get dehydrated today.” She really wanted to see what he would do next. As she got to him, he looked up at her with a red face. “oh, Jacob, did you have an accident?” Jacob had no words. He tried to say something, but all that came out was, “uh…” As Maria kneeled down and pulled back the back of his shorts and underwear, she said, “it looks like someone went poopy!” At that Jacob began to cry and said, “I couldn’t make it.” He stood up and Maria gave him a hug. “Hey, kiddo, head to the bathroom and wait for me there.” As Jacob began to make his way inside, Maria really wasn’t sure what to do. It was clear that Jacob had very intentionally peed and pooped his pants. Yelling and being mad wasn’t going to do any good right now. She needed to really talk to him about this. She went inside and got a trash bag and wipes just as she had a few weeks ago and made her way to the bathroom. Once again, she helped him lower his underwear and cleaned him up and told him to get in the shower. This time, however, she brought a few more supplies to his room. While he was in the shower, she put a towel on the bed with a diaper, some diaper cream, and baby powder. Then she waited.   In the shower, Jacob was a wreck. He couldn’t explain why he had pooped and wet his pants on purpose, but he also knew he had really enjoyed the sensations. Watching his shorts expand had been mesmerizing. While he shouldn’t have done it, he really did like how it felt. He did not, however, want to talk to his mother. He wondered if she was going to diaper him again, and what his other punishments would be. Would he be grounded from the pool? From playing with his friends? He could feel his tears welling up again as he thought about the consequences of his actions. Eventually, he made it to his room and saw the towel, diaper and diapering supplies. His mom, though, didn’t look mad. As he stood there in a towel, she started speaking. “Jacob, I want you to be honest with me. Was that really an accident this morning?” Jacob froze for a second. The way she asked, it seemed like she already knew (she always knew). He whispered, “no.” “I didn’t think so – I saw you through the back window. It looked like you intentionally made poopies in your pants.” Jacob winced at the babyish term his mom used. “I really don’t know. I just did.” This was a very honest answer. “How about your earlier accidents. Were those on purpose too?” “No! those really were accidents. They all happened exactly like I said! This was the first time I did it on purpose.” “So why did you poop your pants this morning?” She really wanted some form of answer. “I guess I wanted to see what it felt like. I just kind of did it.” “And?” “And what?” “What did it feel like? Did you like it?” At that Jacob turned multiple shades of red and froze. “You can answer me. I’m not angry, I’m just trying to understand what’s going on.” Jacob paused another moment and then just whispered, “yes.” “Yes, what?” “Yes, I liked how it felt.” “I really don’t know what to do right now. You didn’t have an accident, so I assume you can make it to the bathroom if you want to. I don’t think punishing you will fix this. At the same time, I don’t really want to clean up wet and poopy clothes. I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t intentionally poop your pants. So I’m giving you a choice. Do you want me to put a diaper on you or are you going to wear underwear and keep it clean?” “I… I don’t know.” “It seems to me if you don’t know that the answer is probably yes, that you want a diaper.” Jacob looked down and then slowly nodded. “Ok – hop up on the towel and let’s get you diapered.” Maria got Jacob to lift his hips and slid the diaper under him. As she applied some diaper cream and baby powder, she continued to talk. Jacob couldn’t look at his mother in the face, but he noticed every little thing she did as she diapered him. In particular, the scent of the powder triggered memories in him. “I really don’t know what we are going to do here. I’m going to talk to your father about this tonight. For today, you can keep this diaper on as long as you want to. If you get tired of it, you can take it off and put on regular underwear. If you wear regular underwear and have an accident, though we know it isn’t an accident [she winked], you will be in trouble. If you want help taking the diaper off to use the bathroom that is fine.” Jacob laid in silence as Maria finished diapering him. “Does this mean I can use the diaper?” Maria sighed. “You won’t be in trouble if you use it. Today. But this isn’t going to be a full-time thing. After I talk to your dad tonight, we are going to have a conversation. If you want to wear one again, I don’t know what we will say. For today, you can wear a diaper. We’ll talk about tomorrow later.” “Tell you what, I’m going to head downstairs. You put on whatever you want and come down when you are ready.” Jacob stayed on his bed for a few more minutes thinking about the fact that his mother had caught him pooping and peeing his pants on purpose, that even as embarrassing as that was, he had enjoyed the feeling, and that he was now wearing a diaper and, as far as he understood, was going to be allowed to use it. He thought briefly about what Gavin would say if he saw him but decided it didn’t matter. He saw Gavin in his nighttime diaper all the time, and Gavin had seen him in his goodnites. Jacob got off the bed and looked at himself in the mirror in just a diaper. He wasn’t sure what he thought, but he didn’t hate it and was definitely not upset. He grabbed a t-shirt to put on and headed downstairs to play some video games.