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Baby Talk
Let your baby side show.
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Thank you for your comment. Yes, Daniel’s advice was quite shocking to Lucas—and perhaps to the readers as well. Daniel means well, but he might not be right, though Lucas finds it hard to object to him. We’ll see what happens. Thank you for your comment. It may be adult to be open about it, but the outcome also depends on how adult the other students are. We'll see what happens in a later chapter. -
Those are cool! I remember light up shows growing up and begging my parents for a pair. I was so cool when I finally got some! I wasn't sure they were still around. -
It sounds like you were a great counselor and really worked well with those kids. I struggled with both day and night accidents at camp but was fortunate to have good counselors as well. I don't remember there being like a bed wetters cabin but maybe there was. I certainly wasn't the only one to wet his bed or even his pants. The counselors always handled it discreetly but everyone in the cabin knew. But it was made clear early on that "what happens in the cabin stays in the cabin" type of thing and that you should stick up for your bunkmates. It was obvious from the sleeping bags airing out in front of other cabins many mornings that I wasn't alone. I definitely got some some teasing for peeing my pants though but it was almost always from kids not in my group and it wasn't that big a deal. I loved camp and I'm grateful I had decent counselors plus I guess I decent group of kids so that even though I had accidents it never ruined the experience for me. I'm sure in other hands it could have been really negative or even traumatic but that wasn't the case for me.
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By Kitty Angel · Posted
93. Ready to Learn Tess stared at her present, not believing what she was seeing. The box was really busy, covered in bubbles about all the features it had, in between pictures of cartoon characters and musical notes. But there was one photo in the middle, crowded in between all the circles and stars. It was a potty, the kind of thing a toddler might sit on when they were still too small to reach the big toilet but didn’t need diapers anymore. That was something Tess had never imagined would be inside a present, even when she agreed to have a weird, childlike experience on Christmas day. She looked at the box, searching for any clue that she might be mistaken. A hint that it might be something else in there, that just happened to look like a potty or had a picture of one on the box. But there was no mistaking it. It could light up, apparently, to make it feel welcoming for a nervous baby. It played a tune to encourage kids to learn to use it, and spoke in the voices of popular characters. There were some numbers on the box, for how big or heavy a kid could be and still sit on the thing. It was made out of plastic, in all different colours so that it looked like Queen Babi’s wooden throne, and there were pictures of lots of the cartoon critters from Bibi Babi Miko on the box. Tess was already eager to press the buttons she could see on it, and find out what they did. But they couldn’t disguise the fact that the words on the box were all there for grown-ups to read, and that this fancy throne was actually a potty. Tess couldn’t believe that Gabby would have bought her one of those. Even compared to her other presents, this one was weird and unexpected. If she was giving Tess a potty, surely that meant that she didn’t need diapers anymore; and before long she would be able to go by herself like a big girl. She knew it was something that most people would learn to do, but it was such a big deal. How could she go potty by herself? It was such a scary thought, it would be a completely new thing to her. And she couldn’t believe that Gabby thought she was ready for that. Tess didn’t know if she could, but she was determined to try. She had a chance to prove that she was a big girl now, and she knew she had to try as hard as she could if she wanted to use the new potty. This would be her big chance, she thought. If she could learn to use the potty like a big girl, then perhaps she could get Gabby to stop calling her a baby. It wasn’t quite that simple. Tess opened the box, but there was another box inside for her to open. She struggled, and she kept trying, but she couldn’t seem to grab the edges. It was weird that she couldn’t get it open, but she didn’t know what to do to change that. Gabby asked if she needed help from a grown-up, and she said no. She wanted to prove that she was a big girl. She needed to get her potty out and use it, just to prove that she was old enough now. But she kept on trying, and it was always the same. Eventually she gave up. She asked for help, and when Gabby called her a good girl it seemed that everything was right with the world again. She checked on Ffrances, and found out that the baby was still happy playing with the presents she already had. And then Gabby offered the box again. This time Tess just had to hold it, and Gabby took the box off from the outside. It was a little bit weird, but it didn’t take long before she had a box that was properly open. A box that was full of all kinds of pieces, and she didn’t know what any of them were. It was good that Gabby was there. She understood. She could open the little book, and there were pictures of a load of different pieces. Tess found the bits in the pile on the floor, and Gabby stuck them together. It was like magic, watching all these bits of plastic turn into a throne. But minute by minute, piece by piece, it got closer to completion. Before long it would be all built, and then Tess could show off what a big girl she was. She hoped it would be soon. The number of pieces still on the floor was small; still more than Tess could count just by looking, and perhaps even more than she could count, even using every single finger. But she knew it was a smaller pile than it had been, and she wasn’t going to give up yet. She couldn’t; the potty already looked like a proper throne. Even the pieces of wood at the back were there, all clipped together. Every time, Gabby would point to a little picture in the book; a piece drawn in black and white with thin lines. And when Tess gave her that bit, she would clip in onto the potty with a click and a pop, and then it was just a part of the whole thing. Tess couldn’t even see where some of them had gone, but she knew it must be soon now. She would need to potty soon as well. The bits that were left would have all fitted in her hands when she realised that she had been hopping from one foot to the other for five minutes. She needed to pee, and she needed to go bad. She just had to work out how to hold it, so she could use the potty like a big girl. She could be big, she could show Gabby to stop calling her a baby. She knew she could do it. But she also knew that Gabby had already told her to have an accident. Gabby asked for another piece, and Tess just squirmed. She needed to finish the potty, but it was too much. She also needed to have an accident like she had been told, and she couldn’t hold it anymore. She felt how it suddenly felt so good when all the pressure inside her went away, and how the warmth in her diaper was so comforting. It made her feel calm and safe, just like any other little baby. She didn’t need to talk now; she couldn’t even think in words. But she knew she was peeing just like Gabby had asked. She was so helpless, and somehow that felt good. After a few seconds the pee stopped coming. Tess glanced down, and saw that there was no mark on her clothes. The diaper did its job and there were no leaks. That was good, she was too embarrassed to let a grown-up know that she did a weewee in her diaper when she was so close to being able to try the potty. It could be her secret, and she thought it wasn’t going to happen again. She could be a big girl soon. The diaper was warm, and kind of comfy. That was something she didn’t think about much, but now there was nothing for her to do except think about how it made her feel. Small, controlled, safe, and helpless. Giggly too. She was a little baby girl, and she hadn’t learned to use her new potty yet, but she still knew it was only Gabby’s magic words that had made her have an accident this time. That was kind of funny; it didn’t quite add up, so the only thing she could do about it was laugh. Maybe after she grew up some, she would be able to understand again why that was so funny. “All done!” Gabby’s words got Tess’s attention again, and she saw the throne standing there. It was just like the one in the cartoon, except that there was plastic that looked like wood instead of real wood, and a seat that lifted up. And there was a bit sticking out on one side with three big buttons on it. Tess wondered what they did, and reached out for them automatically. But she was a little bit too far away, and Gabby was still talking there. She said they were going to put it in the bathroom; and asked if Tess was big enough to go to the bathroom when she needed to pee. “Yeah!” she started, and then thought again. She didn’t need to pee now because she just had an accident, but she didn’t want to tell Gabby that. What could she say instead? “Yeah! I can go the bathroom like a big girl. I’m gonna go, and then you know I’m nearly grownup!” Gabby carried the potty towards the bathroom. There was a corner where it fitted neatly, with rubber feet to stop it sliding across the tiles. Tess had tried to help, but all the could do was grab at her new toy as they walked to the other room, and she wasn’t sure that was actually helping. But now it was here, and it was real. She could show off what a big girl she was, now she was finally old enough to try a proper potty. “Do you want to give it a try now?” Gabby asked. “How long is it since you wet?” “I didn’t! I’m a big girl now!” Tess protested automatically, and then realised that there was no way she could keep pretending. Still, she couldn’t tell Gabby the truth. Not yet. Maybe when she’d learned to use the potty she would learn a new way to hide her accidents too; she had to hope so. “We’ll have to see how big you are.” Gabby was laughing now, and waited a little to rein in her sense of humour before she continued. “The first step in learning to use the potty is noticing when you need to pee. Do you need to go?” Tess thought a few minutes, but she couldn’t really tell. She couldn’t feel anything like that, but she knew that feeling it would help her prove what a big girl she was. Not to mention just how impatient was feeling now. She’d opened her potty nearly an hour ago, or at least a few minutes, and she hadn’t even used it yet. She wanted to fix that as quickly as possible. “Yeah,” she nodded. “I gotta go potty. Like a big girl. Can I do that?” “Of course you can. Maybe I better help you, while it’s your first time. Is that okay too?” Tess could only nod, feeling her blushes grow again. She was so excited that she was going to go in the potty now, it was hard to pay attention to anything else. And she knew she would need a little bit of help to learn how to use it, but that was what Gabby was there for. So she agreed that she was ready, and Gabby helped to take her diaper off, then guided her to sit down on the potty. It was kind of comfy, but there was a gap in the seat, so there was nothing under her bum. That felt super weird, but as Gabby helped her to sit in the right place her mind was overwhelmed by the excitement of knowing just how close she was to being a big girl. -
By Kitty Angel · Posted
88. My Helpful Side I hadn’t expected Tess to be angry about the potty. I’d put a lot of thought into how to present it so that she wouldn’t be mad. But I also hadn’t thought that she would want to use it today. While she was in control of her own triggers I wouldn’t be able to get her so far into that headspace. I’d been thinking that it would be clear it wasn’t the main present, even if it happened to be the largest. It was a cheap plastic thing, an off-brand replica of something made by one of the big childcare firms, and it would have been easy for her to assume that we’d simply bought it as a joke. She was a little kid, and she insisted she wanted Ffrances to be littler than her, so obviously treating her like an actual toddler was the next illogical step. And then when she’d gotten used to there being one in the house, I might have teased her about it or something. Or slipped some diuretics in her drink, waited until she was desperate, and then locked the bathroom door. Some plan would surely have emerged. I’d known Ffrances’s response from the start. She would say that she wasn’t that little; even regressed, she wasn’t going to be interested in something so embarrassing. It would be left on one side, while we only thought about it at all because Tess had been triggered to envy what her sister received. It had shocked me when Ffrances said she wasn’t big enough for a kid’s potty. But it kind of made sense. And it reminded me again why I didn’t want her taking risks with hypnosis; it was too powerful to take lightly. But it could help Tess figure out how she was supposed to behave, and I knew that was a good thing. She gave me exactly the options I wanted. By the time she was staring at the box (while Ffrances danced around with the discarded sheet of wrapping paper, waving it like a veil), I knew that she would be getting really excited about being able to use the thing. With the right kind of push, she would feel like a kid who’d never been that big to before. Of course it would be more comfortable than she was expecting, if she’d thought about it at all. For all the cheap-knock-off styling, this was actually a premium product from BKS. Childish, sure, and smaller than a regular toilet, but subtly larger than an actual child’s one. Perfect for a little who wanted to feel she was smaller than her actual size. I didn’t know how far into that headspace Tess was now, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before she could appreciate all the efforts I was making for her. Tess was visibly excited about the present, fumbling with the flaps on the box in her haste to get it out. I couldn’t believe her enthusiasm, but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I knelt down beside her and offered a hand to hold the box still while she extricated the contents. “I can do it,” she said, pushing my hands away. “Ffrances said I could try it first. She’s not as big as me, you should of got me one first!” “Of course. You’re such a big girl, aren’t you?” I reassured her, and took my hands away. She was just like a little kid, and I wanted to encourage her to get even deeper into the role. “Are you sure you want to try the potty? You–” “Yes! I’m a big girl and I can…” she mumbled, still trying to get the box open. “Need a hand getting it out of the box? I think you’re supposed to have an adult to put it together for you.” “Are you…” she mumbled, still apparently struggling. “Are you trying to make me littler again so I can’t open stuff like Ffrances?” “I wasn’t. I just know those things are fiddly, and they’re designed for somebody who has an adult to help. But… if you want to need help, I can say that too. Would you like to try that?” “No,” she shook her head. Then she rested a finger on her chin for a second, deep in thought, before continuing: “Maybe after. If I know the magic words is making it so I can’t do something, then it’s like a game. I know it’s not real so I don’t gotta worry about it then. But I wanna show you I’m a big girl first, and I can go potty by myself now.” “Okay. Just remember, if you want help just ask. The sooner it’s out of the box, the sooner you can try to use it.” She struggled for a few minutes, and this time I could see the problem; but I didn’t point it out just yet. She’d opened the front of the box, which seemed easy enough, and she’d managed to fold back the two flaps that were inside, just like the boxes on most of the other toys. But there was another layer of glossy, baby-blue card behind the first, and that one was resisting her efforts to open it. After a few moments she turned to me, and held up the box in defeat. “Want help?” I asked, and she just nodded. “Good girl. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s really smart to ask for help, and sometimes it’s the best way to do things.” Then I picked up the box, turned it around, and opened the flap on the back. As I’d half expected, I saw more card on that side. The outer box was just like a tube with a flap on each end, with another box or tray inside that was supposed to slide out. I’d seen that style of packaging a lot on things like cellphones and fancy tech gadgets; it wasn’t what I would have expected for a potty, but I’d never opened one before so I really didn’t know. I turned it on its end and started to shake, and the inner packaging moved some small fraction of an inch. But it wasn’t there yet. So I set it down on the ground and pushed on the back, sliding it slowly out. With a little prompting Tess grabbed the other end and held onto it, while I pulled back on the sleeve. Minutes later we were looking at a complex cardboard tray with several sections, carefully organised to hold more parts than I could have imagined. The potty itself occupied most of the box, but there were other parts packed around it that had to be clipped together to make the seat. There were supporting bars, presumably to let a plastic potty take the weight of an adult if necessary, as well as the seat (which came in two pieces), the back, a lid, and a drawer for baby wipes. There was even a speaker and a waterproof battery pack; this thing could apparently play music when you pressed a button on the side, and had some kind of fanfare to reward the child for successfully using the potty. I didn’t really see the point in it myself; but I knew that I’d seen something like that advertised for kids a few years before, and it was supposed to encourage them to learn. I’d picked it just in case a little more interactivity made the experience feel more real for her. I asked Tess to help me put her new toy together. The instruction leaflet showed how to do it, like it was some kind of giant Lego set, and she could probably have assembled it by herself. But now she’d bought into the idea of needing adult help, I knew it would be good for her if she could enjoy not being the one in charge. So I pointed at pictures of parts on the inventory sheet, and clipped them all together as she passed them to me. I praised her after each bit that she managed to find, and her smiles were brighter than I’d ever imagined. It was just like having a real toddler to take care of again; finding joy in the simplest things, and watching the Ikeaesque assembly of pieces of moulded plastic with awe that could have been more appropriate for rocket surgery. I might have finished the project sooner, but I was still keeping one eye on Tess as I slotted each piece into place and snapped them together. She didn’t get bored; when I hadn’t asked her for the next piece, she could just turn around and play with Ffrances for a while. But I did notice as I was slotting in the little bundle of electronics to make music that Tess was squirming where she was sitting. If she wanted to use the potty, I would need to get it finished soon. But I didn’t need to say anything; after less than a minute of fidgeting, she stopped and stared into space. I imagined I could hear a soft hiss as she wet her diaper, but with Ffrances still playing in the background it was hard to be sure. Still, just watching as Tess went from constant movement to totally still, I was sure. That was my proof, I supposed. She was really getting into this; she wanted to be a little girl, and she knew it was only natural for someone her age. If she’d already reached the point where littlespace could take away her potty training, we might not need so much hypnosis in the future. It would become easier and easier for her to just let go, until she thought of me as her Mommy and didn’t worry at all. I didn’t say anything, just kept on working on her present. It only took a few more minutes before assembly was complete. It looked like a throne from a preschool educational cartoon a few years ago, with cute mascot animals decorating the back; something that a child would be proud to sit on, I guessed. The seat was ergonomically shaped, which seemed to mean that it had a ripple shape rather than being horizontal, and there were four buttons with bold symbols on them, which could be used to play different sound effects. Although it had just been following instructions, I felt I was justified in taking pride in my handiwork. “There we go!” I said. “All put together. Let’s put it in the bathroom, so you can wash your hands after you go potty like a big girl.” Tess was excited as ever, and ran around my feet ‘helping’ me to carry the big piece of plastic through to the bathroom. She was so excited; and listened attentively while I explained how to use it. I didn’t know how much she was playing along, or how much she genuinely couldn’t remember having been potty trained when she was older. But her optimism for her first time was clearly real; right up to the moment I could ask one more question: “So, do you need to pee? Are you old enough that you can tell?” Then Tess blushed into silence; and I could see the gears turning behind her eyes as she wondered how to avoid the embarrassment of admitting that she’d had a genuine accident.
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