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Baby Talk
Let your baby side show.
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Hello Turbo-Flutter. Thank you for your reply which will require a well thought out response. Off the top of my head I’m thinking… I also deny the existence of absolute, objective truths regarding the human condition because I’m a serious (but not absolute) Relativist. I believe in scientific truths, but not scientific theory. If you knew me you would probably agree that I’m ‘pathetic’ from the subjective and so-called ‘normal’ human perspective which isn’t a particular high bar to cross for a sissy (non-practicing) bisexual, diaper loving, cross dressing, submissive, gynephilic, etc, etc, adult baby. What’s more, I know that I’m objectively pathetic because…? Or do I just want to believe that I’m a pathetic male in order to feel even more of a sissy? Well, it’s a long and complicated story so please let me believe that I’m pathetic until such time as I decide that I’m just kidding myself. After all, don’t most sissy males love to believe they are pathetic? -
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By Kitty Angel · Posted
23. Getting Comfortable I didn’t bring out my new purchases right away when she came around to visit that evening. I thought that I couldn’t keep on buying things every time I saw her, or I would quickly run out of ideas. And that meant that every gift was valuable. I didn’t want to waste them. So I would try to figure out if she wanted to be big or small, and then surprise her with one of the new things that I had acquired if she was in the right mood. “You got wine?” she asked. That wasn’t uncommon; we’d shared a bottle plenty of times before. Even before I knew about her little girl side. “For you, I always have wine. Being big this evening, or is this just grape juice?” I lifted out the bottle, and poured us each a glass. It was one way that she didn’t expect to be treated like a child. She still had the metabolism to deal with adult drinks like sweet rose wine, and she didn’t think there was any reason to deny her that. I had to agree; we would just call it juice when she was playing the part of a little girl. “I don’t know. I was trying to get into that mindset, but…” “Something bad at work?” I guessed. “Not a big deal. Just one of the guys hitting on me. I tried telling him, but… I think he’s kind of socially awkward, doesn’t get the subtext. And I don’t want to be a problem, but it’s getting annoying. So I kind of came out and said like, you’re being too personal, it makes me feel like you’re fishing for a relationship, I tried to hint that I’m not available, but I don’t think you’re getting it so here I am spelling it out.” “Need me to talk to him?” I offered without even thinking about what that could mean. “No, it’s fine. I think he’s just kind of… autistic? Oblivious? Didn’t realise he was coming on too strong. Once I said it, he’s been fine, so I think he really didn’t know. It’s just kind of exhausting to say that stuff, you know? Back in high school, I would have… Well, I would have got my boyfriend-of-the-week to beat him up. I hate the person I was then. But I think most girls would have been scared by somebody like that. But here it’s different. I know that if somebody is being weird, it’s almost certainly that they don’t understand. It’s still kind of exhausting talking in a different way, laying it out straight like that, but I think if some guy wasn’t going to behave, they would never have brought him here.” “Just so long as you’re okay,” I said. “So… adult? Or is there anything I can do to help you to feel younger?” “There is,” she said, and then hesitated. “I want to tell you, but I’m not sure if I can. I know I can trust you, but I’m still scared to say it. I mean, I’ve never really had to tell anybody about this before. The first time I met somebody else who was into this… Well, the first two, really… They already had the same thing. In a way. But you might not even believe me.” “I met another little girl today,” I said. It was almost a nonsequitur, but it felt kind of relevant. If I just knew the right words to use. “Like you, I mean. I got some stuff that I thought might make an interesting treat, and one of the guys from my office…” I paused for a second there, and decided against mentioning Kev’s name. “He knew that I don’t have a child in the usual sense, so he guessed we’re kind of… in the same role. His little was there with him, just doing grocery shopping, but we talked a little bit about… Our shared experience. And as soon as we’re talking about that stuff, I could see her body language change. I hope that’s not a bad thing. But I think now, I can talk to another daddy and get some ideas. I mean… Is that okay?” “That sounds great,” she said. “In Ashfields, I guess? I know there’s a few in the village, but I’ve not met any of them apart from Vicky. Wouldn’t know where to look. Maybe we could go for a picnic or something, spend time with another family. I mean, I think that’s the one thing real kids do that’s not so easy for us.” “We talked about that,” I said with a smile. “He said they’re building… Well, a nursery, he called it. Like a space where she can feel small. I don’t know if you’ve thought about that, but I guess it means that they take this really seriously. I think it’d be interesting to see something like that.” “I…” she mumbled, and then looked up at me. I knew she was pushing herself through some nervousness, and I felt so proud of her for that. She continued: “I call my spare room the nursery. I’ve got a sign on the door with my name on. My other name, the one that’s kind of secret. I’ve not got like, all the furniture or anything. I can’t afford BKS prices on a temp’s salary, so it’ll take a long time saving up. But there’s all the things there that help me to feel small, like some teddies. I want so badly to show you, but I think I’m still too shy… there’s still a side of me I haven’t mentioned at all.” “I understand,” I said. “Is that why we’ve never gone to your place? I want you to know that I don’t mind; and that whenever you’re ready to share, I won’t judge you. And I won’t say your special name until you’re ready to say I can.” I had to keep on reminding myself about that detail. It was so natural to think of her as Lily when she was little, but there was something special about that name. It had to stay inside my mind until she told me why it was so important. “It’ll be soon,” she said. “I hoped that the story would make it easy to gauge your opinion before I say it, but every time I look at it I realise that it doesn’t really work like that. It’s not got the tone that I want it to have, and… I can think of ways to take it there, but they’re all kind of silly. Things that only work as a way to set up the plot, that would never happen like that in the real world.” “That’s not a bad thing,” I answered. “And it’s something you see a lot. There are a lot of stories where there’s some contrived gimmick just to make the author’s desires pop up, and people are used to that. You could even highlight how weird it is, so the reader can know you know. Make it like a shared joke with the audience, and you don’t have to worry about explaining it too much. Entertainment is more important than realism to most people.” “I guess,” she said. “But it’s still pretty hard to do. I think I can do it, but it might take me a few tries to get something I’m comfortable with.” “I’m intrigued by that baby bracelet,” I said. “It really does sound like a good plot device.” “Me too,” she said, with a big grin. “I kind of want to keep writing that, to see how the story unfolds. I think it’ll be interesting, because being a baby would make Kyrie start thinking about the consequences of her actions; and having to look after a baby might teach Chloe to be less controlling. I really like the story there, I’m impatient for the next chapter even though I’m the author. But at the same time, I know that it won’t work with the things I wanted to get your opinion about. That’s going to make it harder. And now, I think finding the courage to talk to you is the most important thing. Would you mind… looking at a different version, that has a bit of a different tone? I want it to be good, but I want to see how you feel about some things, and it might take me some time to actually bring them up.” “I understand that completely,” I said, but I couldn’t help wondering what she was trying to show me. And that gave me another reason to look forward to a playdate; if there was some part of this lifestyle that Belle thought I would disapprove of, then she might be able to see me accept it when Kevin and his little girl mentioned the subject. Unless, of course, she was thinking of introducing me to one of her other fetishes, or it was some obscure thing that even other littles wouldn’t enjoy. Did she want to eat baby food or something? Because thinking about that kind of grossed me out, but I certainly wouldn’t object if she wanted to do it. Or maybe she wanted to cry and scream like an infant; which I could understand would be off-putting for some. “So you think it’s okay if there’s weird things in the story?” she asked. “Can you tell me that you’ll let me know your feelings on the story, but don’t try to guess which bit is what I’m into?” “I’ll do my best,” I said. “But my brain’s always running, you know? Sometimes you can’t help noticing something. Hey… is it something that Kevin might tell me about, if we can organise some kind of play date with another little one?” “Mmmmaybe…” she said, drawing out the word to highlight her uncertainty. “It’s kind of niche, I think less than half of littles try it. Or even believe that it would work. Oh, and somehow we use the words ‘little’ and ‘big’ as nouns. I don’t know why, but if you describe me as your little, rather than little girl, that makes it easier for people to be sure you’re not talking about a literal child.” “Oh, that makes sense,” I said. “I think Kevin said something like that, and I just didn’t pick up on it. You’ll make a real daddy out of me eventually. So, okay with a play date? He suggested a restaurant; we could try and get a booth so you and Ozzie are partially hidden from everyone else. But I figure that could be even more nerve-wracking, and I wouldn’t want to agree to something like that unilaterally. I think it has to be your–” “Kids don’t get choices,” she cut me off. “Kids get told what to do. If that’s okay with you. I mean, a big part of this is that Daddy is in charge. You make the decisions, you know if it’s going to be okay, and I have to live with it. Maybe that’s a bit weird, but it makes me feel so small, you know? If I don’t know where we’re going until we get there, and I just have to live with…” And then her voice trailed off, and I could see how much she was blushing. “Okay,” I said. “Just so I know. So that means you’re even willing to trust me when it comes with deciding if something is safe with regard to keeping your secret?” “Yes,” she said firmly, but a quaver crept into her voice before the end of the word. “I mean, so long as… I was going to say don’t embarrass me in front of my family, but… The only family I have is a couple of aunts who don’t care about me, and my brother kind of knows already, so… yeah. And it’s not like being a little is a career-limiting move around here, is it? When you look at how high some of them have risen.” “I’ve only met you and Kevin,” I said with a little shrug. “One member of my team, and one… well, everybody calls you the intern still, but I think you must be a real employee by now, right? But still taking orders from everybody.” “It works for me,” she said with a shrug. “Maybe we should try to meet more people. I could ask… My friend…” suddenly she seemed embarrassed, which made sense when I put the pieces together. I didn’t want to think about it; I didn’t want to be prying into other people’s secrets. But once I saw the edge of the truth, I couldn’t stop myself analysing how well it all matched up. “Vicky?” I said, thinking back to when my ultimate boss had inquired about my intentions towards Carter. I knew they were close, but did that mean… “You mentioned her name before, and… You mean Vicky Bracewell, don’t you? She practically told me already, and I didn’t even get it. Gave me a bit of a spiel about all employees here having a right to their own interests. And Doctor Lentz said as well… She’s actively recruiting people, isn’t she? Making sure that people in those… ‘little’ communities, DDLG or whatever you call it, she’s the one making sure they’re more likely to apply to SYL than the average man in the street, so she can build a community here. Do the others…” My voice trailed off as I remembered Bracewell and Tallcat entering my office, back before I’d known about any of this stuff. It was so easy to imagine him playing the role of her Daddy as soon as they were out of the office. “I don’t know about anyone else,” she said with a shrug. “But Vicky said there’s a few here that she knows of. She hangs out on some forums online, and gets to know people outside of the… main interest. If she sees people who have the talents we’re looking for, she’ll invite them to apply. Never any kind of nepotism, they still have to pass the tests, but it means people here are going to understand.” “We don’t need to worry about it, then,” I said with a smile. “Maybe I need to think about buying those infant reins for you, so you don’t run off when we’re walking in the park.” I meant it as a joke, but there was something in her smile… would she actually be into that? And would the corporate culture here allow something so extreme? I didn’t know how to even talk about that; so we changed to more innocent topics. I fished the turkey dinosaurs out of the freezer, put cartoons on, and snuggled with my little on the couch. Completely innocent today; and the most exciting thing that happened was her texting me a link to the next version of her story. Our little chat had given her a little more confidence, making her more comfortable. Both about sharing what she had written, and about letting herself adopt those childish mannerisms again. It was an evening of relaxation, and no more big debates. And when she finally fell asleep in my lap, the only temptation was to pick up my phone and see if I could work out what she wanted me to do… -
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Thank you. Been exhausted yes, but getting back to normal and back to writing. Update coming soon. -
By cute little kokiri girl · Posted
Camilla then tickled Alice and before asking who was a stinky little baby who needed a changed and Alice with out moment hesitation said she was, got Alice to be praised before finally getting her diaper changed. after Alice was diapered she was then put into an adorable outfit, unfortunately she still had to wear her mittens and booties.
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