Did your messing control slip?

[Kaliborio]

I've believed for a while that losing your wetting control by not using it should mean that your messing control is weakened even if you intend to keep it and are actively using it. This is for two reasons:

1. physiological — the pelvic floor muscles that provide bladder control and the ones that provide bowel control are right next to each other and are part of the same muscle group;
2. functional — diapers and diapering accessories are harder to get out of than underwear in such a way that a close call is disproportionately likely to become an accident.

It was my experience that this held true, and a couple of people I've talked to seem to confirm it. Did anyone here have a similar experience?

[oznl]

For me, undoubtedly “yes” and I blogged about the most recent incident just last week.

Ironically, I still regard myself as urinary continent, during the day at least, subject to terms and conditions.

#2 control has remained quite usable with a new notable exception: “aggravating circumstances” (looking at YOU chicken curry) in which case it is prone to failure.

It's an interesting (and somewhat moot) question if these mishaps were precipitated by operational challenges in removing nappies and/or a substantially discounted price of failure because I was in a nappy BUT prior to my strange experiment, I don’t think I’d had any genuine #2 accident since I was a toddler.  In the past year, I’ve had probably 4 or 5. 

Whilst the plural of anecdotes is not data (as they say), it may well be hypothesis.

[jeremy12312]

On 6/6/2023 at 8:06 PM, Kaliborio said:

functional — diapers and diapering accessories are harder to get out of than underwear in such a way that a close call is disproportionately likely to become an accident.

I've never bought into this one.  Unless you already have a motor control issue, a handful of snaps and thin-sheeted plastic wings aren't delaying anything if I'm determined to not use my diapers for pooping that time.  It doesn't take a lot of force to rip off a diaper off if you have to.

[oznl]

9 hours ago, jeremy12312 said:

I've never bought into this one.  Unless you already have a motor control issue, a handful of snaps and thin-sheeted plastic wings aren't delaying anything if I'm determined to not use my diapers for pooping that time.  It doesn't take a lot of force to rip off a diaper off if you have to.

I think the active phrase here is "close call".  If you're in a fair bit of gear (onesie, plastic pants, tapes), it does take at least an extra 10 - 30 seconds to expose the interface.

If (like myself), my diaper is the only underwear I have when out, I can't really afford to "rip off a diaper" either.  I need to remove it with sufficient care that it can be replaced.

A more interesting thought though that when diapered, the social cost of a control failure is muted or even removed.  I've often wondered if I've truly "lost control" or rather, allowed things to get too close to the edge because I was wearing an insurance policy.

[Kif]

13 hours ago, oznl said:

If you're in a fair bit of gear (onesie, plastic pants, tapes), it does take at least an extra 10 - 30 seconds to expose the interface.

Yup...and will add that can be even less if you get increased urgency like I do when near a toilet, running water, etc. Lovely fun to have your body working against you even harder.

Have actually lost control while getting everything off, granted that was after a point where I realized it would come out whether I wanted it to or not after less than three minutes. But I guess practically speaking...if you're at the point where seconds count then you're probably far-gone already control-wise. It's especially fun realizing you've reached that point suddenly (though tbh there are usually signs).

Am not sure I can comment on losing more messing control via losing more wetting control btw. I let both go at the same time, so I'm not sure I can differentiate. But did my messing control go? Oh certainly. And far faster.

[Stroller]

It's a 'yes' from me.  I have to be a lot more careful these days, & head for a toilet at the first sign.  No major incidents yet, but there've been a few close calls.

[prideful]

On 6/6/2023 at 6:06 PM, Kaliborio said:

I've believed for a while that losing your wetting control by not using it should mean that your messing control is weakened even if you intend to keep it and are actively using it. This is for two reasons:

1. physiological — the pelvic floor muscles that provide bladder control and the ones that provide bowel control are right next to each other and are part of the same muscle group;
2. functional — diapers and diapering accessories are harder to get out of than underwear in such a way that a close call is disproportionately likely to become an accident.

It was my experience that this held true, and a couple of people I've talked to seem to confirm it. Did anyone here have a similar experience?

I have noticed this too. My bladder sphincters are completely relaxed at this point, as long as I am diapered. I have noticed my control over number 2 after going 24/7. I have had a couple different smells. all during times when a toilet wasn't readily available. I go to the loo every morning. The problem is if I ease off my diet and eat junk or fast food. I tend to have slimy ones that I lose control over. Usually it just feels like a fart coming out, but instead it is liquid, and I can't hold those. That was a couple irritating days, LOL.

I have one story fairly recently where I lost control of a normal poo. A few weeks ago, I was waiting for someone at their house. They were two and a half hours late. I held it for a little under an hour, and it just went. I am so glad I was wearing a dip at the time. I also keep an emergency kit in my car, thanks to my research before I committed. Thank you, DD blogs. That morning, I didn't do #2 like I usually did. I am personally not a fan of the texture of feces. I don't think I will lose fecal control, but I do think I will mess up now and then, and that is fine. It just happens sometimes. I went into this expecting some loss. Just don't try to make a habit of it.

[Enthusi]

I am essentially doing a naturalistic study on myself.  I have been totally urinary incontinent for a few years now. I am not going for bowel incontinence but I am not doing anything to prevent it.
 

Indeed, I have noticed that my bowel control is not as good as it used to be. It’s still good enough that I don’t worry about having an embarrassing bowel accident in a public setting, but barely.  

Several times a month, I experience what I call, “gray accidents” which is where I feel a lot of pressure and I just sort of give up because it’s easier that way. I’m diapered 24/7 and very efficient at cleaning myself after messing, so it’s just easier that way.  At this point I am just as quick at using the big boy potty as I am about changing a messy diaper.I  I know I can hold it longer, but I stop trying. 
 

Occasionally I will have legitimate messing accidents.  These are a total brain f*ck for me.  On one hand, I am wearing a diaper and I am efficient at cleaning myself, so it doesn’t matter.  On the other hand, I am acutely aware how nonchalant I am about accidentally pooping my pants.  I view it as a mild inconvenience more than anything else.  
 

TL;DR - After 3-4 years of being diaper dependent for severe urinary incontinence, my bowel control has deteriorated, but it’s still adequate, for now at least. 

[prideful]

33 minutes ago, Enthusi said:

 

TL;DR - After 3-4 years of being diaper dependent for severe urinary incontinence, my bowel control has deteriorated, but it’s still adequate, for now at least. 

Same, TBH.

[Jay8787]

I think with wearing a diaper for bladder incontinence you'll inevitably end up in situations where it's just not practical to remove it for #2 and you'll just continue to get more and more comfortable with it leading to slips of control. 

[DiapergirlWB]

I've trained myself to make open the default setting, so most times i could stop and hold if I wanted to, but if things are less solid then I usually have no chance to stop.

[Ginger]

Yes. I can confirm the loss of bowel control with prolonged un training 

[Mindylou]

I am afraid Im at this stage as well. I don't normally like going #2 in my diaper but my body now has other ideas.. it pushes out a little bit all by itself at most inopportune times despite my efforts at making myself try to go #2 both morning and evening daily. Like right now at work... 

I've been 24/7 for 2 1/2 months so far,this time around and this time it's permanent as my control over #1 has now weakened considerably. 

[Ginger]

Thats how i progressed. And how i ended up committing to dependency

[Little Sherri]

I've been 24/7 for about 4.5 years, and I can report that, thus far, I haven't lost any control in the #2 department, but, there is an asterisk beside that statement, which is this: I've become an inconsistent bedwetter - it can happen three times in a week, or once in three weeks. By "bedwetting", I mean unrecalled, seemingly unconscious voiding - occasions where I wake up in a wet diaper with no recollection of it happening. Since that's become the case, I have experienced a few "bed-messing" events or near misses, which suggests to me that the wiring for the two elimination departments is at least somewhat intertwined, and that the memo's from the command center that I don't wish to be awakened if we need to pee, have sometimes been arriving in the solids department. 

It usually happens if something has disagreed with me; I'll wake up wet and realize that there's something else going on down there. It's never a complete delivery, just a partial. On a couple of occasions, I've had near misses, where I had a dream that I was trying to poop, and then alarms went off and I woke up before anything happened, but I realized that I'd been pushing while I was sleeping. There is a bit of a chicken-and-egg element in play, in that it's impossible to discern if the physical need precipitated a dream about going, or, if I had a dream where I just decided to go for it, hence the pushing. I only recall the contents of one of the dreams; in it, I was out walking in a neighbourhood that was distant from my home or easy access to a washroom - it was a situation where I would have had to knock on a stranger's door, and ask to use the washroom, or, I would have had to poop behind a bush. I felt that I really needed to go #2, and then I had an epiphany: you're wearing a diaper, dummy, why are you worried about this? That idea was a relief, and I kind of shrugged and began to let it happen, when higher cognitive processes became aware of what "dream me" was about to do, and I jolted awake and slammed the brakes on. 

SO, maybe there is something to this idea that relaxing in one area can bleed over into the other. But so far, when I'm awake, it's never an issue. 
 

[Hannah YMS]

I'll be at 3 years in November and I can say I still retain near 100% control of #2 processes, despite training also with large plugs. And I just had a thought... Maybe training with large plugs (or just plugs in general) is what is retaining my control? I'll have to think about that some more.

[SunOfSheep]

A little over 3 years of wearing 24/7 myself (10+ years at night), but I’m not actively trying to unpotty train.

My answer is yes, but only really in the mornings. I have had a few actual messy accidents when I get up in the morning but it’s only ever when my poo isn’t a proper solid log and is mostly liquid. It’s definitely not something that happens often, maybe 2-3 times a year at this rate, but i never use to have any problems.

 

I’m still not about how I feel about it, sometimes you just really don’t want a messy diaper to deal with in the mornings, but on the other hand I’m going to shower and put on a new diaper anyway.

[Alyeskabird]

I am not 24/7 Partly cause I can't aford it, but, I have noticed a few things.

1 when I am diapered, I am much more likely to wet. To the extent that I find I am actualy unable to hold it after a time. The longer I am in diapers, the less I am able to hold it. I am sure part of that is psycological, but, its how it goes.

2 On messing, I have only had a few accidents, and they where just that.  A sudden rather urgent need to hit the potty, and when I turned to head to the bathroom, boom, filled my diaper without any control at all. Never mind a few times I had the runs suddenly rear its head and say NOW. If I get wornings, I can make it, but, now and again, well, the worning is that I am suddenly going.

[AngelO]

In relation to the original question, I can confirm that wearing diapers and urinary incontinence probably also have an impact on fecal incontinence. In the last few months it has happened to me twice that I have pooped in my diaper without any control and they were both very unpleasant moments. I had no chance of stopping it. During the last examination, my urologist said that my muscles in the anal area had become significantly weaker.

I suspect that by wearing diapers all the time, there is no longer any need to keep the anal muscle constantly tense, which leads to weakening. It's just a guess, but right now it seems like I'm heading towards double incontinence and that's making me uncomfortable. I don't think peeing in a diaper is a bad thing, but the smells of poo are not good in many places. Changing a pee-filled diaper on the go is no problem, a poo-filled diaper is a lot of work. I hope a good solution can be found.