Hannah YMS

Today I learned a new word. I figured people who were really into the catheters would eventually stretch their meatus, but I haven't personally found that to be the case, despite being a long time cath user. The meatus, in my opinion, is what holds me back from larger stent designs. If anyone has any good tips on stretching the meatus please let me know. Besides the meatotomy of course.

Same for me, actually. Same for me as well. "Grower, not a shower," has always been a line I use.

That's the thing -- if you live like me and "simulate" incontinence, you don't need the 10,000+ ml diapers. The daily diaper (medium capacity) is quite good enough. Besides, their ratings are in ISO capacity and are not actually functional. But still, medium absorbency diaper is all one needs to keep going day to day. The super ISO capacities are only, really, useful for night time, or for "special occasions", in my opinion.

I completely agree. Megamax just isn't worth the price for the quality of the produce. I've felt for a long time now that they're just taking advantage of the ABDL market. I've since switched to Rearz Megas and have been pretty happy. Plus they fit me better than the Megamax ever did. Also, the "Diaper Hot Sheet" thread pinned at the top of this subforum hasn't been updated in ages. Either we need to get an Admin to unpin it or give the thread over to someone else to keep updated.

I would add that all edges should be smooth to the tongue. The urethra is extremely fragile and sensitive, so if your tongue thinks it's sharp, your urethra will also. Better yet, just make sure everything is 100% completely smooth.

On the face of it, this seems flippant at first, but I'll also admit that getting hard (in chastity, with a catheter, in a full diaper, etc) is not a whole lot of fun if all you need is some respite. And sometimes even "taking care of it" doesn't "take care of it" for long. A benefit of getting older is that now I'm glad it's not as constant as it was during high school and college -- things have eased up a bit in that department. So, admittedly, I can confirm your frustration.

Congratulations, Reddy! I hope your recovery goes well. Keep us posted!

I forgot about this, lol. The sent stayed in for about 3 days. The retrieval line was too irritating to keep it in any longer. I'll have to come back to this and submit pictures, but really it's not much different than cathdiap's design. Nothing new would be shown.

Sounds like a heat or friction rash. I religiously use baby powder for every change, liberally applied without caking it up. I use Budreaux's Butt Paste for rashes otherwise. Maybe use a light coating of baby powder on your sides or loosen your diaper up a wee bit?

I'll post some pictures with explanations after this stent comes out

Same as @cathdiap's: plastic tubing and silicone tubing strategically shaped and placed. I didn't measure the distance from my bladder neck to my outer sphincter, I figured it out with trial and error, mostly with errors. You'll know you've got the right distance when the stent is actually comfortable for once and doesn't migrate. I'd say an average distance to work with is between 2.5 and 3.5 inches. Remember that in this case, even being off even a little bit will not feel quite right.

It would work as long as the resulting holes being made don't irritate the lining of your urethra. You won't like the feeling of sharp edges. In my experience, the dental floss is a bit less irritating than fishing line, but still irritating nonetheless. Find something that is smooth and won't feel like you're being cut with a wire. Ultimately, the limiting factor is the size of your urethra. Most people find that the narrowest part of the urethra is the meatus of the penis (the entrance). So basically, whatever you can fit should work, and whatever you can't fit, won't. Since you're using a 16fr catheter, you should be able to fit 4-6 mm in diameter, which seems to be the standard sizing range for stents these days. Update I am finally honing in on the dimensions of my urinary tract! Based on one of the first stents I've ever made, I find that the distance between my bladder neck and external sphincter to be about 3 inches (about 7.5 cm). The stent has no tubing in the middle of it so my prostate is comfortably squeezing what can, and I don't feel like I'm aroused all the time. The dimensions I've found are surprisingly comfortable! Even just fixing the length by 1 cm made a world of difference. The stent is seated well and I don't expect it to migrate anywhere. It hasn't slipped inside the bladder and it hasn't slipped out. I've been uncontrollably wetting now for about a day and a half, and I've been loving every minute of it! I can feel urine escape every minute or two, depending on how much I breath in to adjusting how I sit. It's pretty wild. The most irritating thing about it right now is the retrieval line (plain dental floss). The cool thing is, this stent has two retrieval loops that is perfect for a crochet hook to grab, so I'm really half tempted to cut the dental floss altogether and pray my stent doesn't slip inside my bladder. We'll see. The design is basically modeled off of @cathdiap's refined design with the exception of there not being a plastic tube holding my prostate open. I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy getting the thing in, but once in and seated, I've been continuously dripping non-stop. My wife won't even let me change without permission now! 🥰 I'll eventually post pictures of the final design of the stent. I have a couple of modifications I'd like to try out first.

For me I think it's a focus/concentration issue. When I'm at a stop light, I can pee. If I'm on on the highway, no matter how full my bladder is or how much it hurts, I can't pee while driving.

The bane of my journey. I haven't figured out yet how to pee while driving.

The three areas I find that I like the least are: The logistics of diaper management while traveling, particularly to a place where I won't have a car or get on a flight. The inconvenience factor - having to change when you need to and not when you want to. Leaking in bed. I have mental hang-ups about leaking in bed which I think are contributing to my resistance to nightly wetting.

Reddy, I support your decision, but from the sounds of it you don't really know what you're getting into. Leaks are a fact of the incontinent life, whether you like it or not. No matter how often you change. It's about time you rip that band aid off right now. If you don't understand this by now then you're kind of screwed bro, not gonna lie. This is the true test of your resolve. Can/will you do it?

Hi @Kevin140, No need to calm me down, I'm fine. I get various levels of stress about this now and again but I've learned to manage my expectations by this point. I don't know that this will ever come, but I'm prepared for it if it does. Beyond that, I just do what I can, but it still doesn't solve some of the core issues I struggle with. The difference between us, though, is that we both did the same thing, and you got OAB, and I didn't. It's not for lack of trying, my physiology just has something else in plan for me.

Wow, I didn't expect this thread to get any activity. Anyone up for meeting at some point?

I'll let you know when I get there. Sadly, I still have full control even after 3 years. *sigh*

My answer is multifaceted. 1) I need to become incontinent, to relieve a measurable amount of continence dysphoria. 2) I really don't like the feeling of needing to pee. I am in a similar boat as @Spargano, I have been untraining for 3 years now and I still flood. I am nowhere near the frequent void and low volume voiding that is epitomized so much in the untraining journey. I am just legitimately really uncomfortable if I need to pee and I have a hard time peeing freely unless I feel like my bladder is bursting, and I have no idea why. Quite frustrating if you ask me. 3) I feel like I'll just generally feel better about myself if I was diaper dependent and unable to control my bladder. I can't really explain why, but something tells me some of you will understand anyway.

I tend to wear Large or X-Large diapers and I have legs in the form of tree trunks. I feel your struggle 100%. My solution over the years has been this: snug-fitting PUL (e.g., Garywear, Leakmaster, etc.) plastic pants. What I do is I pull up my disposable (tends to work for me regardless of the quality or backing of the disposable) and flatten it as much as I can around my body so that the waist band is as high as it'll go (front and back, with the sides flush against my skin), then slip on some snug-fitting (not too loose, not too tight) plastic pants and pull them all the way up. Then I fold the top of the plastic pants down at the waist on itself, catching the disposable diaper at the same time, in small increments, so that you're folding two items at once. With a disposable/pants combo that fits, you can probably fold down the front in on itself 3-5 times while the back tends to ride higher, so folding the back in on itself 3-7 times. By the time you roll the pants and disposable on itself multiple times and it rests on your hips, the combined power of the waist band of the plastic pants and snug fit of the pants/disposable combo is almost always enough to not even to need any other support garment, even with an active lifestyle. I don't wear onesies for example, and a person with a large frame like me can keep their diaper not only snug, but also prevent it from stretching as time goes on, thus keeping a snug fit for hours. Caveat: some looseness does occur, but even with a full blown wet Megamax, Trest, or Inspire Mega, it stays snug on my hips and doesn't hang down on my knees. The advantage to using plastic pants to do this as opposed to, say, net fixing pants, is that net fixing pants, while doing its job, won't contain the inevitable leaks like plastic pants will. And if you're like me, I don't like my plastic pants to rest on my waist, but instead on my hips. Feel free to DM me if you need more or clearer information on this. I've used this technique for years and it works very well for me.

Just wanted to chime in here. @spark: I may not be at the same coordinates on the ocean as @DAQ, but I feel we're on the same cruise liner. I've been "untraining" for over 3 years now, and the most I have to show for it is some post void dribble. If I pee in the toilet, 95% of the time I'm going to leak into whatever pants I'm wearing. I've been reading @DAQ's complaints for years on this subforum and I struggle similarly. Sometimes I have a fast and loose bladder (I would consider those to be good days) but I'm struggling most of the time with days like today: It takes significant concentration, relaxation, the "Breath Holding Technique", and mental and physical gymnastics for me to be able to "easily" pee in my diaper. I can remain relaxed all damn day and what I find is that my bladder just doesn't want to cooperate with my mind when I "tell it" to release. I have to generally wait until my need to urinate is just too uncomfortable before I release the eventual torrential flood. In the beginning of my untraining days it was a bit easier, but as time goes on I find that no matter what, I can't release low volumes with frequent voids -- by contrast it's usually flood after flood (and many, many leaks due to said floods). In fact, I'm sitting here, pelvic floor relaxed, double diapered, not only ready but WILLING to just let the gates open, but as I type this my bladder is getting full and no matter how much I try to convince my bladder to contract, it just doesn't. So I have to end up standing, sometimes for 15-20 minutes, just mentally playing the "just pee already, damnit!" game with my bladder and hoping gravity will do it's job and help me pee. I've stood up for up to an hour at times, watching a television show with my wife, just trying to pee! It's incredibly annoying and frustrating. I feel like I understand @DAQ's struggle quite well. The mental health problems I've endured over the years due to my continence dysphoria (i.e., just being depressed at the fact that I can't untrain like everyone else), I would argue, causes more harm in the long run than the "surgery-is-self-harm" position that you hold, @spark. In fact, I am among the lucky few who screwed up a stent design once and had to go to the ER on an Easter Sunday (and a very long, 10 hour wait) to get said stent removed. I was, and still am, desperate for some relief and after 3 years, it's no wonder I still experiment with stents and catheters. Sometimes I say UTI be damned and just put in a catheter for a few blissful days of no bladder discomfort, euphoric that I'm actually not in control of my bladder for the cherished 2 to 3 days I keep the catheter in before paranoia sets in about UTIs and then feeling sad that once my catheter comes out, it'll be back to the same old grind. And that forum post you-must-not-mention? Well, the doctor who performed the surgery on the two DD members who talked about their progress is a Board Certified Urologist trained right here in the USA. Yes, he's in Mexico, but before you criticize too harshly, have a look at some of the testimonials by people who've had their surgeries performed by that doctor. In one of those testimonials, one patient had this to say (take it with a grain of salt, of course, but...): The notion that any hospital outside of a white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant-based culture or country couldn't possibly be better than what we have here in the States is patently absurd. We don't live in the 1920s anymore. The world is a lot more modern, and by virtue of that, generally has on-par health care with that of the Western world. I mean, even Thai Land has great health care and they perform transgender surgeries all the time with great results. It's not fair to assume that the rest of the world outside of the United States or other "White Western countries" can't perform safe surgeries. As someone who has actually been to the ER to get a failed stent removed from their bladder (because, y'know, I need to be incontinent, right?) and as someone who has had psychological and mental stress from not having incontinence, @spark, I ask you this question: Which pain is worse, physical or mental pain? If obtaining surgery to reduce or eliminate dysphoria is considered, by you, to be "self-harm" (which means that all trans or non-binary people who have underwent SRS caused themselves "self-harm"), then it seems clear to me that you don't struggle with mental pain very much, if at all, because let me tell you, ask anyone with anxiety, dysphoria, depression, and other forms of mental illness, and they'll tell you they'd rather have physical pain rather than mental pain. I'd amputate both of my legs in a heartbeat if it meant all of my mental pain would vanish. The mental pain is 1000x worse than physical pain. And I'll confidently add myself to the group of people who would agree with that statement. This post is getting long, but I just wanted to chime in that 1) yes, @DAQ's struggle is real as they are quite consistent on their complaints about the issue in this subforum, and I too struggle in similar fashion; 2) I encourage you to look at the health care systems around the world and to discard the notion that only the US or other Western countries can successfully perform surgery without killing their patients, because the data, frankly, says otherwise; and 3) I invite you to re-evaluate what "self-harm" means in this context because if obtaining incontinence through surgery actually makes one's life better, how can that be argued against? I'd argue that the medical gatekeeping keeping us from these surgeries causes more harm than good in the long run. I should know, I've put myself at physical risk because I need to be incontinent and it's already cost me more than $16,000 in ER and Urgent Care visits in the process (granted 100% my fault, but I don't have recognized medical support for this issue, so what can I do? Nothing? We all know how that works out...). I for one can stub my toe and get over it the next day, or break my arm and get over it the next month, but the constant dysphoria and mental grind of not being able to be who I am (remember, I have been untraining "the safe way" for the last 3 years and have made very, very little progress) is a much harder battle than struggling with a physical disability such as incontinence. I've lived the incontinent lifestyle to the best of my ability, while actively untraining, and I am at the point right now that I am perfectly okay with a surgical option, if I could afford it. Damn, I just want to feel like myself, y'know? All this is to say, I 100% believe that @DAQ's struggle is real and they are as frustrated as, if not more than, myself. They're not blowing smoke, that's for sure. Disclaimer: I also wanted to say that I do not support willy-nilly surgeries to look cool or anything or to jump on some body modification trend. I just believe that careful, thought out, professionally evaluated, medically qualified surgeries of this nature shouldn't be automatically shut down just because it offends "common sense" in some way because as we have thoroughly shown that with trans people, not treating the dysphoria, statistically, causes more harm (suicides, etc.) than recognizing it for what it is and effectively treating it, for one example. I have BIID/BID. @DAQ does too. Why is it such a struggle for people like us to convince the medical priesthood, and people on the Incontinent-Desires subforum, on what should be allowable, and yet, anyone can just opt for plastic surgery as if there's nothing wrong with it? Have you seen what 100s of plastic surgeries can do to the same person? It's horrifying, and yet is, on some scale, socially encouraged in certain places, such as Los Angeles. I just can't wrap my head around the cognitive dissonance at some of this. With all due respect, @spark.

@DAQ and @foreverdl Thank you both!

Congrats!

Alright, here's a new stent idea I don't think I've seen on this thread yet, so I hope it inspires someone to use it or make it better. Note: this only works for male plumbing. Sorry ladies. Materials: Well fitting chastity cage that is kind of small; preferably a cage that you can't slip out of. If you can slip out of the cage this method won't work very well. This is the one I'm using now: https://www.amazon.com/FYJENNICC-HT-V2-Chastity-Devices-4Rings/dp/B074MFRFJS/ A length of silicone tubing with about 1/4 inch to 5/8 inch width in diameter. You'll simply want the right size for you. Link: https://www.amazon.com/Quickun-Silicone-Brewing-Kegerator-Aquaponics/dp/B08BQZMW8D/ A 1/4 inch one-way check valve (so liquid can only flow one way). Link: https://www.amazon.com/Plastic-Check-Valve-Inline-Return/dp/B096MC67WW/ Notice the design of the check valve -- it's designed to easily show you the direction of flow of the valve. The tapered sides "point" to the direction of flow. Bonus: you can use these check valves on the distal flange of a catheter that is sinched tight with some zip ties for "safer"** play. Sterile lubricant designed for internal use. Link: https://www.amazon.com/Surgilube-Surgical-Lubricant-Sterile-Jelly/dp/B00JLIFWUU/ ** Still use caution and clean technique, one-way check valves only go so far to prevent UTIs. You'll need to use some engineering for this. You'll want to cut a length of silicone tubing to your size, depending on where your bladder neck is and the length of your penis. I'd start off with about 1 foot of tubing. Fold one end of the tubing inward on itself so no sharp edges of the tube being inserted into your bladder are sharp. I use a pair of forceps to bend in the tube and then use a technique I can't describe well to even it out. Boil the silicone tubing or disinfect it such that it is safe for insertion. After the tubing has been sterilized, use some sterile lubricant and inject into the head of your penis and lubricate the inward-folded end of the tube for insertion. Insert the tube like you would a catheter until urine is released from your bladder. This is now your measurement. I had to do this twice because I measured wrong the first time. Eyeball and measure out a length of tubing that is still inside the bladder but protruding out of your penis and mark where the one-way check valve should go. Be sure to leave enough room for the inserted portion of check valve. The end of the check valve will sit inside the chastity cage, preventing the silicone tube from slipping out of the bladder. Take it out, cut the tube, and insert the check valve onto the end of the tubing that was not folded inward. If the edge is flush with the check valve you should have no irritation if your meatus ends up touching the end of the valve. Disinfect it again. Put on the chastity cage ring, lube up your penis again and the smooth end of the tubing and insert. Hopefully urine is still flowing. If all is good, put on the rest of the chastity cage, and lock it into place. The result should be the end of the check valve protruding out of the cage a little bit and no matter your physical position, the inward folded, smooth, end of the silicone tube should be inside your bladder. Voila. Pictures will follow at the end of this post. I finished this setup myself about 30 minutes ago and currently have it in. So far it's working. Pros: No catheter balloon to irritate your bladder. No retrieval line to dangle out of your penis, preventing further irritation. (My mental opinion:) The space between the head of the penis, the check valve, and the chastity cage *should* prevent migration of bacteria, "to a point", into the bladder via the wall of the silicone tubing and our urethra. It's actually pretty comfortable. Removal of the tubing shouldn't irritate your urethra at all considering it's still smooth when you remove it, unlike a deflated catheter balloon. There's no dangly tube to manage if you decide to use the toilet, the cage keeps everything in place. There's no dangly tube flopping around inside your diaper to irritate the tip of your penis. Again, everything is short, sweet, and compact. If the silicone tubing is soft enough, you should be able to sit on it, and a firm seat, for longer periods of time before your perineum wants to sue you for damages, which means it should be more comfortable to sit on than a stiff catheter. Cons (so far): You still can't feel yourself pee. If you find that drainage isn't optimal, I suggest using @cathdiap's method of using a leather hole punch and putting a few holes near the end of the tubing sitting inside your bladder. Just make sure the holes go well into the bladder and are not resting in or on the bladder neck to prevent irritation and bleeding. I'll update this post later after I sleep to let you know how things work out while sleeping. I'm a stomach sleeper, for what it's worth. As always, stay clean, stay safe, avoid pain, and most of all, use this design at your own risk. Have fun! Here are the pictures of the fairly simple and final design, plus or minus a few modifications per your personal adjustments: