Are some of us taking lemons and making lemonade?

[Little Sherri]

I'm curious as to how many of you are DL's or ABDL's or otherwise engaging with this interest, as a means for taking lemons and turning them into lemonade. For some people, that may mean becoming diaper-dependent at some point later in their lives, and then, eventually falling in love, or at least coming to terms with, their absorbent undergarments. For others, it may have meant having to continue to wear diapers when others their age no longer had to, with all of the anxiety and social stigma that entails, and then sublimating that fear and mortification into enjoyment, as a coping mechanism. I see myself in the latter camp. 

Of course, some of you will undoubtedly say, no, diapers have always been awesome, and there are no lemons, only lemonade, while others may well say the opposite, that they've never enjoyed wearing diapers, and only do so because they have or they had no choice. 

[rusty pins]

I chose "I never had to wear diapers, wearing them has always been my choice, ergo, something I enjoy". There was a time up until around age 6 that I did have to wear diapers for bedwetting but I outgrew that before turning 6 years old.  That was what gave me my diaper fetish.  I was never treated like a baby or humiliated for bedwetting so I just became a DL.  When I was young I really loved diapers but like most I had times when I felt disgusted that I loved diapers so much.  I always keep a very good balance between my normal life and the times I wear diapers, so I guess, knowing I will always have this diaper fetish, I've made lemonade out of the lemons and now just enjoy the times I wear diapers without thinking of myself as strange or disgusting.

[~Brian~]

@Little Sherri@rusty pins

I chose:  "Yes, I conquered my fear/embarrassment/anxiety about having to wear diapers by turning those feelings into joy, happiness and/or pleasure."  I ended up having problems in 2018 and 2019, and in 2019 I finally decided to go to the doctor to deal with those problems. Among them is that I couldn't deal with the fact that I was constantly in the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning, could not sleep very well, always was running to the bathroom, or I was having accidents because of IBS or diverticulitis. I've also had incontinence on and off all through my life, so the easiest way for me to deal with both of these things is to wear diapers 24/7. 24/7 wearing of diapers means that I am wearing them 24/7, and I am using them as intended. I'm also able to deal with the feelings and urges that always seem to pop up, because diapers feel comfortable and feel good to me also. If I'm wearing diapers because of incontinence, I'm also dealing with my feelings and urges which is good, because it makes me feel better.

I also noticed that the stress level is down considerably. When you don't have to worry about constantly wearing where the bathroom is, you are more able to concentrate on things that are more important. I've always said that in my Opinion, incontinence is the least of my worries with it being a one out of a possible 10 in the worry scale. If wearing diapers helps me to deal with both of those conditions, then I'll wear them a long time, because it helps me with a lot of things. When you're dealing with stress coming it can cause major problems, and it can cause you to worry about things that you don't or shouldn't have to worry about, and sometimes the most important thing is not to worry at all. I've always said to my friends that I always try to roll with it, but sometimes people think that in order to get somebody to do something they have to increase the anxiety 100 fold, and that's one thing that you don't have to do especially for a guy like me.

Wearing diapers has been a godsend. Sure you have to change yourself or clean yourself up, and it might inconvenience you, but if you have incontinence then it helps you to deal with that, and it helps you keep yourself dry as much as possible. Of course, the diaper that you're wearing is the most important thing along with any protection you're wearing over the top. You're wearing the low end diaper, you will get low end results. If you're wearing a high end diaper or a good diaper, then you will have better results, and whatever you are releasing will stay within the diaper and will not be leaking all over everywhere. I've always stated that diapers need to be as good as they can be, because there are some people like me that have to unload an incredible amount of liquid or solids, and you have to have a good diaper to do that.

My late aunt and my late grandmother always used to say " Make lemonade", And that's what they would do when you have a problem, so wearing diapers is a way that I can make lemonade and not have to worry about it.

Brian

[stevewet]

I very quickly realised I liked being in nappies. 10 years on being in nappies 24/7 just feels perfectly natural and normal 

[mick_dl]

I always find it interesting how differently people think about protection and incontinence.... Protection was the solution for me, not the problem. The problem is the incontinence and that also causes fears, e.g. that my health will deteriorate, and especially at the beginning of the problem that I will leak, that people will make jokes about me or not take me seriously and so on...

[le Hollandais]

I checked "I never had to wear diapers, wearing them has always been my choice, ergo, something I enjoy."  It's the one thing I can say about this fetish by way of explanation.

[diaperboyblue]

I chose I never had to wear diapers, wearing them has always been my choice, ergo, something I enjoy.

However with that being said, I have encountered many lemons in the journey and still continue to find those arising today. 

So I guess the simplest experience and reality is that, Societally I feel the perception of needing to be normal, a man, a functional element of the structure I live in. To which there are natural challenges stating that in order to do this, one can (and evident by some of the above responses) people do. The perception that by being more "Normal" creates a healthier existence for others, is a lie and a lemon I am happy to turn into lemonade. 

I feel that the main reality ends up being how much stress and overthinking that I have been, until now, choosing to engage with instead of simply looking at myself and critically analysing choices to realise that allowing this part in, may be very beneficial. 

Something I listened to recently comes to mind (From Teal Swan on youtube) which is that "The universe learns a lot by how we move through a lose-lose situation", cause in such a situation we are put under pressure which is universal. In that position doing something like wearing diapers seemed normal and a healthy expression of self, as any other alternatives and means of calming myself seemed unhealthy by comparison. 

So all in all, I continue to work on my relationship with self and the relationship towards choices I may choose to make, realising that I get to live this life and am in turn blessed.

[~Brian~]

On 5/15/2023 at 4:26 PM, mick_dl said:

I always find it interesting how differently people think about protection and incontinence.... Protection was the solution for me, not the problem. The problem is the incontinence and that also causes fears, e.g. that my health will deteriorate, and especially at the beginning of the problem that I will leak, that people will make jokes about me or not take me seriously and so on...

@mick_dl

I fully agree with you! part of the deal is people have to realize, That Like you said, incontinence is a problem, and the protection is the solution you have decided to use. There are people who are vehemently opposed to using protection, because they think it's disgusting or they think it's bad or they think diapers are awful, but what people have to understand is if you were incontinent, you choose the way you want to handle the problem. You make that decision on your own, and that is your decision and nobody else is. Going to say some of the things that they're gonna say, and they might not think that the solution is a good solution, but what happens is these people are on the outside looking in, not on the inside looking out, trying to deal with it on a daily basis.

Most people that I know of because of my incontinence and my disability understand what's going on. How I use a wheelchair, they know I've used a Walker or crutches, and they know of my medical condition. It's normal for me, because that's part of what my life is, and when I decided to finally deal with problems that were coming up because of incontinence diverticulitis and I BS, as well as having accidents, diapers were the way to go. They also help me with stress and they help me because that way I can sleep and be able to function at a higher level 'cause I'm not constantly worried about going to the bathroom in the bathroom, or constantly worrying about whether I'm going to release. I am going to release so that's an accepted thing, I'm going to use diapers and that's accepted.

The key is if you have friends that are real good friends and they understand the true reason, then it makes it easier, because the friends that you have that are really close understand your need or your want to use diapers and they also understand that it's no big deal, and it's nothing to worry about. I remember a few times when people used to say " Nothing to see here move on"  and that is what is cool because those type of friends know of it and it's no big deal to them, and nothing changes, because they know of your character and everything else so that isn't a problem. As I say diapers aren't the problem, it's the people that think there's a bad stigma associated with wearing diapers and using them. I understand that some people may be turned off by it, but I keep saying and I'll say it again I would rather have a wet diaper than have a wet pair of pants shirt socks a chair or whatever I'm sitting on, or sitting in. It's a lot easier to change a diaper than it is to launder a whole bunch of underwear that you make a mess in, and that was part of my problem, I couldn't be sure that I would be able to have peace of mind, and it's good for me to do it this way.

I have decided to wear diapers 24/7 because it helps me. I didn't decide to wear diapers because I wanted to have people question why I'm wearing diapers, I'm wearing diapers because it helps me. Finally came to a realization in 2020 that a part of me was missing, and now I can put it back together, I can feel like I am legitimized and I know that I feel that that part of me, which I tried to fight off for many years is still there, and the only way to handle the situation is to wear diapers.

Brian

 

 

[Kawaharu]

I chose "Yes, I conquered my fear/embarrassment/anxiety about having to wear diapers by turning those feelings into joy, happiness and/or pleasure. because being an adult baby, I am so use to wearing diapers that it has become very normal for me and I am finding joy that I am kept in diapers permanently. Being an adult baby and a full time permanent adult baby, I have reached the point in my life where, wearing diapers have become so normal for me. I am so use to wearing diapers out in the open and in front of people so much that it pretty much is normal for me. I have many times worn diapers and a t-shirt in front of people that it's become very normal for me. I know people in my life that see me more as an adult baby than a grown up, adult and big kid. They even treat me as an adult baby instead of an adult, grown up and big kid. They even know that I am never going to be potty trained and they are comfortable in knowing that I will never be potty trained and I will always be kept in diapers.

Since being an adult baby and especially a full time permanent adult baby, who's kept in diapers permanently and for the rest of my life. I find it a joy, pleasure and happiness in knowing that I can always be young, diapered and babied for the rest of my life. That I no longer call myself a normal adult and I always call myself an adult baby instead of an adult, big kid or even a grown up.  I know I am always going to be an adult baby no matter who I am or what I am and whenever I am among adults, grown ups and big kids, I am always gona be seen and regard as an adult baby and never an adult, grown up or even big kid. I even know that potty training is never going to happen for me and I know I am always going to be stuck in diapers. Which I am very happy, excited and proud to know that I am always going to be diapered and know that I am never, ever getting out of them anytime soon.

It's why I don't see anything wrong with being kept in diapers and being an adult baby. To me being an adult baby is a form of adulthood  and a way with dealing with the stress of adulthood. On top of that being kept in diapers, I see diapers as a pair of shorts and underwear in one and nothing to be ashamed of. It's why being an adult baby, I think it's totally normal if any ABDL wants to wear their diapers out in the open and in front of people. It's why I am all for normalizing diapers in society as well.

[mick_dl]

Hi Brian,

Thank you for your detailed mail. I think there are indeed some - especially older people who have continence problems and are poorly cared because they either do not want to admit the problem or do not seek help because they think that's just the way it is. People who are affected by incontinence and have a job can hardly afford such a posture and wet pants and will choose a suitable aid. I mean - that's why these things are called "aids" because they try to compensate a disability. 

It's just like you say - it's good that you can choose between many different aids. In the end, everyone has to decide for themselves what works for them best and what does not. For me it was - despite my "history" also a process and I can say that despite my DL experiences when this started I definitely did not want to run around in diapers. I used as long as it was possible pads because they were in some respects better to handle. When that was no longer possible, I tried it with condoms catheters - unfortunately with moderate success, although I found the things actually already practical. Later, due to problems with my spine, I developed fecal incontinence and my urinary incontinence got worse, so I could no longer do without diapers. Nevertheless, I was and am really glad that there are now many discreet functioning aids available with which this can be compensated, because otherwise I could not continue to work and that would have been really bad.

However - a realization was that many worries regarding the perception of the situation really take place almost exclusively in one's own head. The more problems you have with your own situation, the more you believe that others feel the same way. But this is almost always wrong.  

Personally, with very few exceptions, it has not happened to me that people - when they have learned about my health problems - have not appreciated me. It is rather that they want to help somehow and are sometimes a bit disturbed when they begin to understand that there is no easy solution. When people are confronted with disability, it often causes uncertainty and fear because many have not dealt with it. Not least perhaps because it makes simply times fear to consider how fast this can catch one. I think it is the same with the aids - although some are more curious. 

On the subject of diapers and incontinence aids: I don't think they have a bad reputation. Incontinence has a bad reputation - because many people find it unhygienic and disgusting.

Exactly this leads to questions like this, because no "normal" person can imagine that someone wears diapers voluntarily. Exactly this is then a problem for DL's but not for those affected by incontinence. They have to fight rather with the prejudice unhygienic and disgusting what has to do with diapers but only on the edge.

[Three Rivers]

Wearing and using has always been my choice, it's just a normal part of my life that gives me pleasure and enjoyment for my life.

[2sail2]

Not sure what answer, but maybe second to last, with explanation:

It can be a daily on and off struggle for someone who lives with a spouse who knows I wear, but not the true why part (DL) .  The primary time I wear is on vacation touring foreign cities where you never know where or when a bathroom is.  She sees me putting underwear on in the morning in the hotel.  Yet, she knows I seem to go more often than most people, especially an hour after leaving the restaurant that had a bathroom that I used!  One time during non-vacation time, I was asked why are you wearing now?  Ugh.

I am in that love / hate relationship mode with being a DL.  They feel good, they chafe, ease my nervousness and anxiety, get hot and sticky (maybe I need to change at the four hour point), take my mind off of some problems, stigmatism and the wonder by my wife.  It'd be nice for all of us to just get over it.

[Kaliborio]

I might be slightly in the "lemons to lemonade" camp; I initially saw myself as choosing to go into diapers because I was AB/DL, but over time, as I've unpacked things, I've realised that while I am very much AB/DL, I likely would have ended up in diapers by this point regardless, and was at least a little aware of that at the time.

I will add, however — at the risk of sounding a little Portal 2 — that in the community of people who either want to be or are either 24/7, untrained, or both, there is an extraordinary degree of refusal to acknowledge the lemons, so to speak. 24/7ers and untrainees seem to have a propensity to have a very liberal definition of what counts as "continent". It's gotten to the point where someone simply saying they want to untrain makes me actively suspicious of how much continence they do, in fact, have.

[Little Sherri]

On 6/1/2023 at 9:50 AM, Kaliborio said:

It's gotten to the point where someone simply saying they want to untrain makes me actively suspicious of how much continence they do, in fact, have.

This is an interesting perspective to bring to the conversation, and one I hadn't really considered. 

[anned]

i started as a bed wetter till age 12. by age 6 i loved the feeling of a warm wet diaper.

from age 12 i wore diapers on trips and at places where finding a restroom would be hard.

around age 23 i found adult disposable diapers and started wearing at concerts, movies, traveling and other places where it was fun to wear.

i have been a DL since then and over time i wore more and more. around.age 55 i started having health and moblity probems and went back into diapers 24/7 and now at age 72 due  to my health problems i am incontanent and enjoying it every day.