Does this community get hate for what we like?

[Little Cub Pants]

Would it be fair to say that this community gets a lot of hate for what we like? I remember a couple years ago when I was in my late teens that it DEFINITELY felt that way, but I'm not sure anymore. Do you guys think that being ABDL is STILL considered taboo by society?!

[Apache Raccoon]

I think all so called kinks probably have a taboo surrounding them:

I don’t know how most vanilla people feel about ABDL and I don't want to know.

As long as we don’t cause harm and people leave us alone to live our lives how we see fit then I’m happy.

 

[AbabeBill]

I don’t know about true hate, but there’s still a vast majority out there, who refuse to understand it, or just scoff at anything to do with it. 

[minachan16]

4 hours ago, Apache Raccoon said:

I think all so called kinks probably have a taboo surrounding them:

 

This for sure. I would actually say the conversation about ABDL has got a lot better over the past decade, in large part because the community has made an active effort to remove the "bad players" so to speak whose uncontested presence made the rest of us look bad as well. We speak out, loudly, about those who go on TV and portray us in a negative light, or who run websites associated with the community that are skirting the line, if not right crossing over into some really disgusting territory. We have demonstrated that we want our kink to be regarded like any other kink and to stop being associated with the more negative aspects people have assumed ABDL to include back in the 90s and even the 2000s.

I don't think we will ever be accepted on a mainstream level like BDSM, but we are leaps and bounds from where ABDL was in the DPF years, and if people want to keep putting forth the effort to make it even better, more inclusive, and more welcoming for all adults, then nothing should stop them.

[Elfy]

We have become more common in society's consciousness. When I was a kid I had no idea what ABDLs were, even when I had a fascination with nappies before I was old enough to know what a fetish was. When I was a little older I found others online, I wasn't as shocked as some were and alweays assumed there were others but we were a very small community, a niche of a niche (being a subset of ageplay).

I've been on here and in the community for sixteen years at this point. Whilst I wouldn't say we are "mainstream" by any means I would say we have gone from a dark corner that nobody was looking at to tentatively taking our first steps (heh) into the wider kink community. There are BDSM clubs who now have "Littles" nights. There are big conventions. We've gone from only medical diapers plus maybe one ABDL supplier to a HUGE selection of diapers, toys, clothes and other paraphernalia. Hell, it's become possible for ABDL content creators to make a living off of this fetish. When I was a kid that would've been unthinkable!

There have been TV appearances. Most of them have gone badly but they've pushed knowledge of us further. The internet has grown and finding ABDLs is easier than ever. If you hang around the kink space you will bump into people who are into ageplay or diaper play. There have been studies, Youtubers have covered us... There's been a lot of growth in knowledge that we exist and are out there.

Does all of that mean we get less hate? Well, I would say yes and no.

I think within the general kink world we are more accepted than ever before. I think diapers have grown in use from not just people with a specific interest in them to having them used within other fetishes. Furries have a large diaper contingent for one example, and diapers are great for humiliation, control, dom/sub and bondage. Even if a particular kinkster doesn't use them chances are they know someone who does. I think within the kink and fetish world we are now part of the conversation. We've gone from the red-headed step-child to just another person in the wide family. Whilst there is undoubtedly some who still view us as freaks I would say the majority of people in the fetish world wouldn't think that way any more.

However, within the wider population I'm less sure. We have been seen more but I don't know if that has come with increased acceptance. Many still see ABDLs as synonymous with pedofilia. Whilst I do think even that perception is fading it will be a long time before it goes away more completely if it ever does. But I don't really think it matters too much. Right now we have a corner of the world dedicated to us with all sorts of opportunities to engage in the lifestyle or meet others. I can't speak for others but I don't NEED the public to like me. I would like the ABDL = people doing stuff with kids perception to die but if they want to see me as a weird freak that's their business.

As an added aside... A lot of the progress the ABDL community has made has been because of the increasing liberalisation and progressivism of the western world. However, more recently there has been a push in the other direction. People are trying to make others ashamed of anything that might make them different. The more liberal attitudes that the world has slowly moved towards for decades are under threat in every direction. I think if that continues we will find attitudes regressing (heh).

[square_duck]

Yes, but then every "community" does...regardless.....just the way things are.

[fillemup]

Little do those people that hate people that wear diapers know that they will all end up in diapers towards the end of their lives. I consider that just a nice dose of poetic justice. The very thing they find disgusting about us wearing diapers is going to become a reality for them as well in the future. I love it when that happens.

[minachan16]

11 minutes ago, fillemup said:

Little do those people that hate people that wear diapers know that they will all end up in diapers towards the end of their lives. I consider that just a nice dose of poetic justice. The very thing they find disgusting about us wearing diapers is going to become a reality for them as well in the future. I love it when that happens.

Most people know diapers are a fact of life for when we are too weak to care for ourselves. Always at the beginning and sometimes at the end of our lives, but they don't understand why someone could get emotional nourishment from wearing them. Sometimes, people don't want to understand and there's nothing that can be done in those cases. Wearing diapers is seen as something they are ashamed of because for the grand majority of non-ABDLs, they don't choose to end up back in them. That's the difference.

[feralfreak]

i havent noticed any, i got 2 buddies online that know about it, a couple others that know i sleep in diapers, and none have been ugly to me about it, the 2 that know i like them only had "to each their own" as a response

[ValentinesStuff]

It's a bell curve with hate on one side, indifference in the middle, and acceptance on the other.

[diapered charles]

I'm amazed by the level of the resentment from the BDSM community. I get the misunderstanding from the vanilla community, but how can we get crapped on from people that are into consensual torture sessions? Explain to me how diapers, pacis, and bottles are worse than flogging, whipping, and canning sessions. ?

[ValentinesStuff]

1 hour ago, diapered charles said:

I'm amazed by the level of the resentment from the BDSM community. I get the misunderstanding from the vanilla community, but how can we get crapped on from people that are into consensual torture sessions? Explain to me how diapers, pacis, and bottles are worse than flogging, whipping, and canning sessions. ?

There are people that crap on anyone different.

I've gotten crap from parts of the TG community because I am M2A (male to agender), and to them that isn't good enough.

[thediapereddevil]

In the UK there are definitely a lot of people who have accepted the "if its consensual, legal, private and doesn't seriously harm someone then it's ok" view, but that doesn't stop people judging kinks. My experience talking with people (without letting them know my own inclinations): 

• Adult Babies and littles get hate because of the association with roleplaying minors and the implications when sexual activity is included as part of it. It's too close to dangerous territory for most people. The judgement is lessened depending on the age of roleplay/depth of roleplay - i.e. someone who play acts as a brat from time to time is broadly accepted (I know a lot of vanilla women like to do it), but someone who goes all in on dress up and pretending to mentally regress will be viewed negatively.  
• Caregivers/mommy/daddy/etc. escape judgement a lot of the time because not many people understand the dynamic/think about it. However, for those who are aware of the dynamic they often target their negative judgement towards them. Again this is because they are identified as the instigators for a type of role play that is widely  considered taboo.  
• Diaper Lovers are typically grouped in with the above, but for those who know there is a difference they see DL's as being heavily perverse. Oddly more so than those who are into watersports, but maybe not as much as people into scat. Typically people are more accepting of this, but treat it like a really dark fetish. 

^This is coming from talks with fairly liberal people, some into kink, some vanilla. People seem to be more understanding when it's described as a humiliation kink, less so for any other reason. In my experience, there are way more unsavoury/predatory individuals in the abdl community than other kink communities i've been a part of (you need to be vigilant), fortunately most people aren't aware of the make up of the communities - the judgement comes from speculation and media representation. 

Even as someone who is now super aware of abdl stuff and massively into various kinks I have to confess: A primal fear triggers in me every time people try to do ab rp with me. I know it's normally innocent enough, but I just can't wrap my head around it...so expecting vanilla folk to look at it sympathetically is something I don't think will happen any time soon. In terms of the wider acceptance i'd say abdl's are miles behind other kinks.

[DailyDi]

Years ago we used to occasionally get a super-Christian from time to time who would attack us in order to save us, but I think kinks in general have become more "meh" over the years.

[~Brian~]

It is my opinion that as time goes on, and people understand more about the kinks in general, being that there are people that are more liberal, people are beginning to see that there's no real big deal in people that are engaging in kink behavior. By this I mean, most people that are involved in this, and they'd better be or they'll be a lot of blowback, are adults, and they understand what it is that they are doing. People that have been in kinks like this know that the kinks like this are not to be engaged in with children.

People have to realize that adults have had childhoods too, and they've grown up in their own ways, and have dealt with many many things that have gone good in their lives, some of them have gone down questionable roads or have gotten lost in the shuffle. Others have had traumatic things happen to them, and one of the ways that they deal with that is to try to go back to a time when they feel safest. Most people think they're safe when they're a baby when someone is taking care of them, and when that someone is not making decisions for themselves. I'm sure that there are many of us that want to be able to relive childhood or certain parts of our childhood that we liked, or that we hold on to. There are many things that happen in our lives, that are traumatic, or that are bad, or that cause reactions that are not favorable. When this happens, being able to regress back to our time when you felt safe and contented and loved is an appropriate response. There's nothing wrong with regression, and there never was, the only thing is you have to do it in an appropriate setting in an appropriate way

I think most people can agree that the reason why we get negative reactions, or blowback, or any type of rumble, is when someone portrays us in a non favorable light. The problem is, when people are thinking of us in a negative way, the only thing that can come out of that is that people who think negatively of the kink community will continue to think that way. They always say don't knock it until you try it, and that is the truth. How many times in our lives for example, have we said we didn't like something, or whether we hated something, and we weren't going to touch it absolutely not, and then after a while something changes, you try it, and you realize that you like it, and then you realize that you missed out on all of the times you could have indulged, but choose not to.  How many times has it happened to you, that you feel the way you feel, and you're not sure what you're feeling, so you're not sure how to react, but all you know is that you like something, it feels good, and you want it, but you feel guilty about it?

For me that has happened: many times! Sometimes things that you don't expect to happen have to happen before you can actually let your guard down and accept what is the truth, that is staring you right in the face . I have had accidents since 2019 and other problems with incontinence, so I can say from experience that the best thing for me to do would be to go to diapers 24/7, and I have done that. After talking to many people here on DD, I realized that it is a good idea for me to do what I have done, and I accept it . Not only does wearing a diaper help my incontinence, but it helps me deal with the feelings that I felt guilty about for so long, that I couldn't figure out why I felt the way I did, or why it feels good period now, with an incontinence diagnosis and with a disability, I don't have to hide what has been the truth all along, I don't have to hide my diapers, and I don't have to hide the fact that I wear. Of course, I'm not going to go out and show off , but I don't have to hide and worry that something is gonna happen. I have my diaper on, and I have the appropriate equipment to deal with it.

what we have to do is get more individuals to be able to let people know in the outside world, if they wish to listen, that wearing diapers and using diapers and liking diapers is no different than somebody liking women's underwear. I am sure there are guys out there that like women, and I'm sure that there are guys out there that like women's panties and all of this. This is a normal part of life, and there are people that like that all the time period there are also people that like diapers, because of the way they feel, because of the way they make them feel, because they allow them to be who they want to be. The point is, wearing diapers using diapers and liking diapers or liking the kink or getting into the lifestyle is not wrong. We have to quash the ability of these people to think of this or something that is against the moral codes or the ethics codes. There's nothing wrong with wearing using liking or enjoying diapers, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying the lifestyle, so long as you do not bring children into the lifestyle, and that you are not trying to bring undue attention to yourself in a way to bring others into the negative light.

My thought is this: as long as there are people that understand that people like diapers use diapers wear diapers, knee diapers, etcetera, there shouldn't be an issue. People use diapers for many reasons. Medical, psychological, comfort, and other reasons, and they may eventually if they need diapers adopt pieces of the DL lifestyle, or the AB lifestyle, and it'll depend on what is going on. There's nothing wrong with this, but there are people out here that are going to think of it all as crazy silly and a whole bunch of different words, but there will always be people who always will think negatively of what we do. It is our responsibility as community members to show others that we are not the type of people that they see on the news that like to flaunt their statuses. An example of this would be in Burlington Vt on Church Street marketplace, some guy was walking around, and every time he would see someone, he would ask if they would like to change his diaper. Of course he was walking around and a diaper, so he was arrested for public indecency. I believe he was arrested and charged with that crime, and I don't think that it's wrong to wear diapers or like them, but to walk around in a public place asking everyone that walks around to change you is over the line. This makes things look really strange weird and out of sorts for anyone in the community

I'm glad that there are at least some places where our community is getting the positive exposure. When someone can make a video, like @Elfy found and posted, and it portrays the AB and DL communities in a positive light, this is the type of thing that we need. The diaper doctor, as she was known in that video, told people that the reason people want to do this is because they want to relive their childhood, they want to be able to regress back to a time when they didn't have to worry about things, they want to spend time with people who respect them love them and care for them, similar to how a mother or a father would take care of their children. However, this is an adult activity, and adults want to act look and feel like children, they want to behave like children, and they want to be able to be treated as such. It has nothing to do with minors at all, and that is the one thing that we have to make sure that we make continuously clear anytime someone asks about what we're doing and why we're doing it

I haven't seen very many negative things that I have dealt with myself: however because I have been monitoring this site for many years, I've seen many sites that put a negative spin on what we're doing. The sites that make the positive spin are the ones that can explain what it is that we are doing or why we're doing it, and why we feel the way we do, or why we indulge and what we do. As long as there are sites out there for people to go to to understand what it is that we are dealing with, so they can understand it, then we should have a chance. However, we have other people who continually think in the negative, who want to put the negative light on us. We need to take the negative light and make it a positive one, and by that I mean we have to make sure that people understand that for every bad site that's out there, there's always a good one out there that can probably turn it around so people don't get the negative vibe. However, most of these sites that are out there that explain what it is that AB or DL means or what it is that we're dealing with, are running in the negative because they try to psychoanalyze us as if we were defective individuals, and we are not. We are individuals, we are an adult society, we want to be/ act// feel and be treated like kids. We don't want all the negative, we're not in it for sex , if we're in little mode, depending on the person. It'll depend on what the person wants, but it doesn't all make it bad because we want to indulge . We just have to do it in an appropriate manner .

there are indeed instances of positive things that have been stated about the lifestyle and the kink that we are involved in. We just have to realize that for every person that is in the world, for every one person or two people that are positive, we might have three negatives. If someone were to ask us what it is that we're doing, or why we're doing it, we are the best individuals to be able to explain what it is that we do, why we do it, and how we got into it. When we have psychologists and counselors and other people who can also explain why we like what we like or we do what we do, and they can explain it in a way that is non threatening or non confrontational, making it sound bad, then we have another ally in our toolbox. All of us want to be able to live the life that we wish to, and the way we do that is to live our life to the fullest, and help other people understand what it is that we are and what we are not. One of my main philosophies in my life has been that I would rather have somebody for example, ask me about my disability, rather than to assume things that aren't true. I've had little kids come up to me about between maybe 6 to 8 years old, and they might not understand why I'm in a wheelchair. I will explain to them why I'm in a wheelchair, and I will do it in a way that is non threatening non confrontational and one way I do that is to look them directly in the face and tell them straight up. I tell them in a way that is non threatening, and in a way that they can cognitively understand. This way, they don't look at me as some freak, and they don't think of me as somebody that is scary to them. I would rather explain my disability, and then ask if they have any questions, rather than to have somebody assume things that aren't true. The easiest way to help a kid understand what's going on is to be honest with them, and being able to do that at a level that they can understand based on their age.

I see that we may have a change on the horizon because there are more people that are accepting of our fetishes than they were before. That does not necessarily mean that everyone is going to like our fetishes, or understand them. It just means that more people are coming around, and hopefully as we continue, more and more people will understand what it is that they are dealing with, and they will ask questions of people in the community that have been doing it long enough to be able to make judgments and help people understand what they're dealing with. Remember that we need to squash the notion that diapers are for babies: this has been burned into our head since we were young, and sense we were able to potty train, diapers have always been told to us to be nasty, well, a dirty one might be, but a diaper itself is not nasty: and the person that is using it is doing it because they want to, because they need to, or because it helps them in some way. Who am I to stop someone from doing that, but we need to make sure that all of these wives tales and other fantasies that we were told when we were kids are boiled down to truth and consequence. We need to make sure people understand what this community is and what it is not: this also means that if someone decides to tell us what our community is and is not, and it is wrong, that one of us are many of us come back and tell people what is the truth.

I am a proud member of this community: I'm not ashamed of it, I embrace it: we have many people here that are here because they want to be, and there are people who are here because they are looking for friends, or support. I'm happy to be a support system for many people, and I'm glad that I've met so many good friends. I've lost a few, but I'm hoping that as time goes on we will always be able to let people know the positives of our community, and not always worry about what somebody says or believes, when it is negative, and not helpful.

Brian

[FretaBWet]

I think this is 2 different issues. I think that incontinence is much better accepted and the stigma is slowly fading to some degree or other. I think that use of diapers for any other reason is still taboo and looked down on by society in general.

If a person is hating on someone for wearing diapers when they are medically necessary I think the average person would consider the hater as an a-hole because they are. If someone is hating on someone for wearing when they don't need to for physical reasons I think the percentage of people thinking the hater is an a-hole would decline significantly.

Here on DD most of us recognize that wearing for psychological need or as a stress reducer is completely valid. For those wearing simply as a kink it should be just as valid but I think we have a pretty fair distance to go yet.

Hugs,

Freta

[diapered charles]

12 hours ago, ValentinesStuff said:

There are people that crap on anyone different.

I've gotten crap from parts of the TG community because I am M2A (male to agender), and to them that isn't good enough.

Every community attempts to limit inclusion at some level. Although I am trying to learn about my trans friends, I am baffled about the lack of inclusion in that community. I agree. People crap on anyone they can even if they are marginalized. Perhaps it's human nature? ?

[feralfreak]

15 hours ago, DailyDi said:

Years ago we used to occasionally get a super-Christian from time to time who would attack us in order to save us, but I think kinks in general have become more "meh" over the years.

all that does is make christianity look bad

[Little Cub Pants]

7 hours ago, feralfreak said:

all that does is make christianity look bad

I totally agree with you buddy!? But I think it's important to note that NOT EVEN Christians agree with OTHER Christians, so there's that.♥️??? In the end, we all have to decide what we believe in.??♥️???????♥️?

[DailyDi]

8 hours ago, feralfreak said:

all that does is make christianity look bad

Yep. We have many good Christians here whose underwear is a little thicker than others. No big deal.

[Little_Mouse]

9 hours ago, feralfreak said:

all that does is make christianity look bad

I believe in God. I believe the Bible is the true word of God. But I don't believe in man. Anyone can call themselves a Christian, and not everyone who thinks they are a Christian follows God. No human being is perfect – we are all sinners. No man, not even a Christian, can save you. only Jesus can save you.

This is why I always check my Bible when other Christians tell me what they think is sin and how we should live our lives. Life has taught me not to listen to everybody who call themselves Christians.

Always check your Bible to see if what others are telling you is correct and ask God to guide you as you read the Bible.

@DailyDi Yes my underwear is at little thicker (pull-up) at the moment.?

[ppdude]

2 hours ago, Little_Mouse said:

I believe in God. I believe the Bible is the true word of God. But I don't believe in man. Anyone can call themselves a Christian, and not everyone who thinks they are a Christian follows God. No human being is perfect – we are all sinners. No man, not even a Christian, can save you. only Jesus can save you.

This is why I always check my Bible when other Christians tell me what they think is sin and how we should live our lives. Life has taught me not to listen to everybody who call themselves Christians.

Always check your Bible to see if what others are telling you is correct and ask God to guide you as you read the Bible.

@DailyDi Yes my underwear is at little thicker (pull-up) at the moment.?

Sage advice and very well said!

 

[feralfreak]

12 hours ago, Little_Mouse said:

I believe in God. I believe the Bible is the true word of God. But I don't believe in man. Anyone can call themselves a Christian, and not everyone who thinks they are a Christian follows God. No human being is perfect – we are all sinners. No man, not even a Christian, can save you. only Jesus can save you.

This is why I always check my Bible when other Christians tell me what they think is sin and how we should live our lives. Life has taught me not to listen to everybody who call themselves Christians.

Always check your Bible to see if what others are telling you is correct and ask God to guide you as you read the Bible.

@DailyDi Yes my underwear is at little thicker (pull-up) at the moment.?

jeremiah 17:5 "cursed is the man who puts his trust in man"