Telling GF About Fetish

[diapers161]

I (29M) need some advice on telling my GF (23F) about my fetish. Some background first...

 

Me and my gf met on Tinder about 6 months ago. Things started off slow with 1 date a week, but now we hang out almost all the time and sleep over at each other’s places nearly every night.

 

A few weeks into the relationship, as the expectation of intimacy grew, I let my gf know I was a virgin and how I was really nervous about having sex. She was really cool and accepting of this. Although she was confused as to why I was still a virgin. In her eyes I was an attractive, nice, and successful person who should’ve had no problem in this area. I told her it was because I had social anxiety and also had consciously decided to focus on career/school for a while. While this is true, it is also true that my diaper fetish might have had an impact on it, as it lessened my desire to pursue sex.

 

A week later she asked me about being a virgin again. She said her friend had said I must be gay or have a really weird fetish to still be a virgin at my age. I told her I had some kinks, but was definitely not gay. She said I didn’t have to tell her about my kinks yet, but did begin to list specific ones/things she wouldn’t be ok with. She listed bondage, choking, didn’t want to be peed on or pee on me, definitely no poop, and that’s all I can remember. She said she did have daddy issues but thought daddy/daughter stuff was creepy. She also said one of her only kinks was that she liked to be spanked (which she was embarrassed to admit). She said it was important to her to know we were sexually compatible. 

 

I was considering revealing my fetish right then, but a lot of the stuff she said she was not ok with was semi-related to diapers in my mind. So I was afraid to tel her. I ended up confessing to a foot fetish (which I also do have). She was cool with that and didn’t think it was a big deal.

 

I was a virgin prior to this relationship and she was not. I had a lot of anxiety about this. It took a few weeks and several tries to successfully have sex due to performance anxiety related ED. I had begun to worry I wouldn’t be capable of having vanilla sex without diapers involved. 

 

I had to stop masturbating for a little while which (along with getting more comfortable with her) eventually resolved the ED issue. It still comes back if I’ve recently masturbated though. I feel like I have no diaper fetish outlet now, as I can’t even masturbate to diapers without feeling bad about letting her down in the bedroom later.

 

We haven’t discussed the foot fetish since I first told her about it. I have not been giving her feet much attention during sex because I’m afraid she would think it’s weird or it be a turn off for her. Her being turned on is a big turn on for me and anxiety of her not enjoying things would lower the mood for me quickly.

 

We haven’t said I love you to each other yet, but I can tell she is expecting it soon. I’m getting to a point where I’m not sure I can long term commit to this relationship if she doesn’t at least know about this diaper fetish. I’m not sure if her refusing to participate would be a dealbreaker or not, but it’s something I’d like to go ahead and know how she feels about.

 

Should I tell her? What’s the best way to tell her?

[BedWetMark]

Honestly? Life is too short, just tell her.  If she doesn't accept it, you're young enough to move on if it really bothers you that much and if her reaction is negative and you can live with that, then fine.  If her reaction is positive, then have fun!  But do not sit on it by saying nothing as it'll eat away at you.  People need to be more honest with each other.

 

[oznl]

It's definitely not a "first date" conversation topic as a social ice-breaker for sure but if things are serious or getting serious...

There's an abundance of evidence on this board that you're unlikely to shake the diaper thing and if anything, it will grow stronger over time.  I think if you can see that, it will guide you to your own answer...

[BabyJune]

Not a great idea. Read the book Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus. Women look at things from a completely different point-of-view. Diapers are completely different to women and men, and it most likely won't work in your favor.

[Babyqtboy]

30 minutes ago, BabyJune said:

Not a great idea. Read the book Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus. Women look at things from a completely different point-of-view. Diapers are completely different to women and men, and it most likely won't work in your favor.

I have to disagree with this, as a psychologist. The point of that book is to improve communication between men and women because we do see things and communicate things differently. Honest, open communication is always the best advice in any relationship. My advice is don’t overload her with all of the information at once. Don’t refer to your kink or fetish negatively, ie; “I know it’s weird, or strange.” Or anything that will give her the impression you are ashamed of it yourself, because you will ultimately project those same feelings to her. I would start with something along the lines of: 

“ I feel like things are getting more serious between us and I want to be honest and open. You asked about fetishes and kinks and I wasn’t comfortable enough in our relationship to discuss them but now I am.” Make sure she understands that her participation isn’t required and you aren’t asking anything of her. Let her guide the conversation from there. Let her ask questions and be as honest as possible. From what she has said about her kinks, I am willing to bet that if nothing else she will be open and understanding but I would wager to bet there were a few she was holding back on herself. Sometimes we say what we think people want to hear, especially when looking for social acceptance. Good luck

[KyleABDL]

she was open with you and she wants you to keep your secrets from the sound of it. she also sounds supportive of having "something" to spice things up. her not oks wasnt diapers, only being on the receiving end. 

based on what she likes/dislikes shed probably be a non participant but support your choice. and you do you.

so id say hold off for now and tell her when you're ready or you feel comfortable, you could for now let her know...

"i do have something but its a bit embarassing and im not ready to share it yet" and see from there.

[~Brian~]

On 3/25/2021 at 8:52 AM, BabyJune said:

Not a great idea. Read the book Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus. Women look at things from a completely different point-of-view. Diapers are completely different to women and men, and it most likely won't work in your favor.

@BabyJune

While I believe men and women are on different expectational planes, I think that most problems happen, because men may be afraid of rejection by a lady that they want to be intimate with, and they may NOT be able to tell their GF about their fears.  Women have expectations as well, but I can only state that from a GUY's prospective, we have expectations as well, and I READ that book in 1995 or 1996, and was engaged to a lady who SAID she loved me, but her ACTIONS said otherwise - She broke my heart, almost put my butt in the HOSPITAL, and was "ordering me around and telling me what to do, and how to do it."

One night, she left:  I had to leave my home, after being accused of things I didn't do, and we were BOTH young, and I went HOME for 2 MONTHS, because she destroyed my stability, and I had to rebuild my confidence.  I was so screwed up, I couldn't even be in the same ROOM with her, and I was ILL because I was unable to even live in my apartment for those 2 months.  We were TRYING to communicate to each other, and there were a lot of issues between us, but I had enough when she would accuse me of "NOT LISTENING" to her, but she was NOT telling me in ways I could understand, and she was NOT listening to ME either:  She got EVICTED from the apartment after I returned 30 or so days later, and that ended the problem, but I agree that it was 50/50 as far as fault, but SHE pinned it all on ME.

I remember that night:  I called home, and was there in 45 minutes:  I called her, and I LET her HAVE it:  At the end, I was TOLD that I wasnt getting any explanation til I "adjusted my attitude" and NOT until "I stopped YELLING?"  I Ended it right there, and actually puked on the floor, when her mom suggested we solve our problems by going home and having SEX?  That RUG on the floor was never the same again.

My Point is:  Books are fine, and are good resources, but when you are young, and learning,  it is nerveracking - This book eludes to the fact that men and women are a MILLION MILES APART on a lot of things, and i believe one thing that it says is you should try to anticipate things.  My former fiancee hardly ever SPOKE like an ADULT to me, blamed me, and tried to run the show:  there was NO communication: except that, dropped on my floor in front of my door in the form of a 5-6 page letter, because she couldn't come to me, and say "I am upset/mad/sad/etc"  so we could TALK.

The Human Body is an amazing device:  It can do many things, and it is UNIQUE:  My main problem with THIS relationship was:  Is a GUY supposed to READ a woman's MIND, and be able to KNOW how she feels without speaking and making it KNOWN?  I was NOT a mindreader then, and I certainly am NOT now!  Communication NEEDS to occur.  This means: someone says "lets discuss this" and you DO it!  You talk about things that bother you, make you happy, make you sad, or upset:  You DON'T keep secrets, or expect a guy to know how you feel, or what you are THINKING - Guys are NOT mindreaders!

The main thing is: COMMUNICATION:  if any relationship is to WORK, you CAN'T keep secrets:  I asked my Stepdad, My Dad, My Mom and My Stepmom what the secret of a good marriage is:  They all told me "The secret is, we DON'T have ANY - we talk about EVERYTHING."

That is the BEST advice that I was given, and my parents will celebrate 38 years of marriage this YEAR!  That Book, may be a good resource, but I am not gonna TRY to read a woman's Mind

Brian

Edited March 30, 2021 by ~Brian~
corrected spelling on a word/other edits

[~Brian~]

@diapers161

ALL of the advice here is good advice.  However, I would NOT disclose your fetish right away, as that would be like dumping 20 gallons of water on a roaring fire, putting it out for good.  If you wait a while, you will be be able to see if your GF is receptive to your fetish.  If she is, then you could bring it up, when you believe it is appropriate.  If she is asking you questions about fetishes, likes, dislikes, etc, and you feel that the time is RIGHT to disclose it to her, then you will have to decide WHAT to disclose, and WHEN to disclose it.

Does she seem accepting of it?  Does she say "I understand and support you, and want to be involved?" Does she say "I understand and support you, BUT don't want to be involved with it right now?"  Does she seem to leave the door open for her participating/diapering you, babying you/whatever at a later time?"

OR:

Does she ABSOLUTELY NOT like or support the idea of your fetish? You will have to gauge her reactions, and be prepared to respond appropriately.  If she is DEAD set AGAINST diapers or your fetish, she may NOT be the girl for you, but you will have to take the time to TALK and communicate YOUR feelings to HER, and listen as SHE Conveys her feelings to YOU - Take your time, and take it slow - This is something that is intimate to YOU, and means something to you, and if you have a fetish like this, you have probably had it for a LONG time, so hopefully, she will be accepting of it in time.

Good Luck!

Brian 

[BabyJune]

17 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@BabyJune

While I believe men and women are on different expectational planes, I think that most problems happen, because men may be afraid of rejection by a lady that they want to be intimate with, and they may NOT be able to tell their GF about their fears.  Women have expectations as well, but I can only state that from a GUY's prospective, we have expectations as well, and I READ that book in 1995 or 1996, and was engaged to a lady who SAID she loved me, but her ACTIONS said otherwise - She broke my heart, almost put my butt in the HOSPITAL, and was "ordering me around and telling me what to do, and how to do it."

One night, she left:  I had to leave my home, after being accused of things I didn't do, and we were BOTH young, and I went HOME for 2 MONTHS, because she destroyed my stability, and I had to rebuild my confidence.  I was so screwed up, I couldn't even be in the same ROOM with her, and I was ILL because I was unable to even live in my apartment for those 2 months.  We were TRYING to communicate to each other, and there were a lot of issues between us, but I had enough when she would accuse me of "NOT LISTENING" to her, but she was NOT telling me in ways I could understand, and she was NOT listening to ME either:  She got EVICTED from the apartment after I returned 30 or so days later, and that ended the problem, but I agree that it was 50/50 as far as fault, but SHE pinned it all on ME.

I remember that night:  I called home, and was there in 45 minutes:  I called her, and I LET her HAVE it:  At the end, I was TOLD that I wasnt getting any explanation til I "adjusted my attitude" and NOT until I stopped YELLING?"  I Ended it right there, and actually puked on the floor, when her mom suggested we solve our problems by going home and having SEX?  That RUG on the floor was never the same again.

My Point is:  Books are fine, and are good resources, but when you are young, and learning,  it is nerveracking - This book eludes to the fact that men and women are a MILLION MILES APART on a lot of things, and i believe one thing that it says is you should try to anticipate things.  My former fiancee hardly ever SPOKE like an ADULT to me, blamed me, and tried to run the show:  there was NO communication: except that, dropped on my floor in front of my door in the form of a 5-6 page letter, because she couldn't come to me, and say "I am upset/mad/sad/etc"  so we could TALK.

The Human Body is an amazing device:  It can do many things, and it is UNIQUE:  My main problem with THIS relationship was:  Is a GUY supposed to READ a woman's MIND, and be able to KNOW how she feels without speaking and making it KNOWN?  I was NOT a mindreader then, and I certainly am NOT now!  Communication NEEDS to occur.  This means: someone says "lets discuss this" and you DO it!  You talk about things that bother you, make you happy, make you sad, or upset:  You DON'T keep secrets, or expect a guy to know how you feel, or what you are THINKING - Guys are NOT mindreaders!

The main thing is: COMMUNICATION:  if any relationship is to WORK, you CAN'T keep secrets:  I asked my Stepdad, My Dad, My Mom and My Stepmom what the secret of a good marriage is:  They all told me "The secret is, we DON'T have ANY - we talk about EVERYTHING."

That is the BEST advice that I was given, and my parents will celebrate 38 years of marriage this YEAR!  That Book, may be a good resource, but I am not gonna TRY to read a woman's Mind

Brian

Very well said. I hope that you are doing much better now.

23 hours ago, Babyqtboy said:

I have to disagree with this, as a psychologist. The point of that book is to improve communication between men and women because we do see things and communicate things differently. Honest, open communication is always the best advice in any relationship. My advice is don’t overload her with all of the information at once. Don’t refer to your kink or fetish negatively, ie; “I know it’s weird, or strange.” Or anything that will give her the impression you are ashamed of it yourself, because you will ultimately project those same feelings to her. I would start with something along the lines of: 

“ I feel like things are getting more serious between us and I want to be honest and open. You asked about fetishes and kinks and I wasn’t comfortable enough in our relationship to discuss them but now I am.” Make sure she understands that her participation isn’t required and you aren’t asking anything of her. Let her guide the conversation from there. Let her ask questions and be as honest as possible. From what she has said about her kinks, I am willing to bet that if nothing else she will be open and understanding but I would wager to bet there were a few she was holding back on herself. Sometimes we say what we think people want to hear, especially when looking for social acceptance. Good luck

Very well put. But I have to add that women look at (sexual) fetishes much different from men. I, too majored in psychology and worked on a suicide hotline for seven and a half years. The most disturbing calls for me personally were men going through divorces and hearing how they were put through the ringer and how women always seemed to come out on top. Of course I was only hearing THEIR side, but still, it scared me into staying single.

[LittleAmytheil]

As a woman, I would want to know-  And a big factor of that is going to be what role you want/expect her to have relating to it, or if it's going to be a you-time fetish.  She may not be okay with bodily fluids, but may be okay with diapering and using it as a form of topping/dominance.  Or she may be completely disinterested and rather you keep it to yourself.

An important point I feel is worth mentioning is don't make it an all or nothing thing.  I don't think anyone wants to be in a position that feels like an ultimatum. Example: Only wanting diapered sex and no vanilla/her interests.

I wish I had better advice to offer - My diaper wearing was found out accidentally when I didn't hide my stash of things well enough (My partner rifled through the closet because he lost his Renaissance Faire garb, and thought I stowed it with my things).

[LiL Marc]

It might seem like an easy answer, but for me honesty comes first and foremost, whatever the reason

In the worst case, you can do like many people and deny your diaper pleasures for a few months, a few years, but that will always come back, and in the end you will always be the loser, and you will hurt someone who has invested time in a relationship that you have not been honest

And ultimately when this relationship ends, because consciously or not you won't be who you are, and probably not as happy as you deserve

I would have liked to be much clearer in my explanations, but I speak French

Good luck! ?

[feralfreak]

sounds like too much trouble to me, my advice is enjoy being single, God knows i do! no having to worry about std's, her lying about her age(i doubt a judge would believe you if you said she said she was 22, but was actually 17, eek!!) her getting pregnant(again, eek!), there are other reasons but i wont list them. if its THAT important for you, both on dating(sex) and diapers then you gotta be honest, if she asks again tell her something like "well i do have one, and ill tell you but you gotta have an open mind on it, and feel free to ask questions!" take a deep breath and go from there, dont offer to show her one in place on you, dont ask her to try one, if she asks if its comfortable be honest(personally i feel like the only way to really answer that question is best explained by a chinese parable: a master monk and his student or whatever they are called were walking past some other monks, in the snow, having a shower in the fountain, the student asked the master "master, isnt that cold?" and he took him over and dumped a bucket of water on his head, in his shock he said " master why did you do that? its freezing!" he said "the only way to really know something is to experience it yourself".) personally i would rather stay away from that monk and that fountain, and any of that dating stuff, but if its for you, have at it, its you that has to deal with the risks.

[onthedl519]

In my experience I would tell her. She will either accept you for who you are or she won't, and do you really want to be with someone who doesn't accept you? It's definitely not something to discuss too early in the relationship but once you guys get serious, which sounds like its happening then it crosses a line of being dishonest to her. I told my girlfriend after 3 months and she is cool with it and partakes in wearing but not using diapers. I personally felt like 3 months was good. Imagine being years into a relationship and suddenly finding out this huge secret that your partner was keeping, that would likely cause more problems than the fetish itself. Just my two cents. Wish all the best for you

[LiL Marc]

@onthedl519Well said

[diapers161]

Thanks to everyone so much for your feedback on this topic! It has been much appreciated. Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, but here is an update!

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a full year now. I never told her about the diaper fetish. But we are both very happy with our sex life together. That's one of the reasons I never told her. It seems selfish to tell her. From what she has told me already, it seems very clear she will not be into this fetish. One of the biggest turn-ons for me is that she is enjoying sex and turned-on, so I am not even sure I'd want to do diaper stuff with her if she is going to think it is creepy or a major turn-off.

I also did some research online looking into posts from women asking for help after their boyfriend revealed a diaper fetish to them. I believe we are a bit insulated from the truth on this forum and forget how weird this fetish is to somebody who doesn't share it. The women in these posts are completely disgusted by it. In one instance the woman said she didn't know if she could ever be attracted to her boyfriend again after getting the image of him in a diaper in her head.

I am not sure I want to subject my girlfriend (or myself) to this risk with so little upside (almost 0% chance she is into it).

This had been my opinion for the last few months; however, there was an unanticipated event last night. She was sad last night because she was thinking about when I had told her several weeks ago that I did not feel ready to commit to marriage anytime soon. We had a really long good talk. Towards the end she started talking about how enjoyable our sex was to her. I agreed. She also asked me if there was anything else I was into or that I wanted to try in bed that we hadn't done before. This is when I started to feel bad, like maybe I was keeping a secret from her that I shouldn't. She noticed this and began prying, at which point I admitted there was something else I was into which I had never told her about.

This was a mistake, because now she is obviously super curious and wants to know what it is. She asked if it was anal and I said "no". She said, "Good" because she is really grossed about by poop and would worry about that. She asked if it was pee or poop, and I said no. Even though wetting diapers is big turn-on for me. She asked why I didn't want to tell her. I told her it's not really a big deal, but it is a little embarrassing. She seemed confused by that and said "but you already told me about the foot thing. is it worse than that?". She got the message that it was "worse" based on my facial reaction.

I think she tried to make me feel more comfortable by telling me about a fetish she knew of that was (in her mind) bound to be more embarrassing than what I had to say. She said "there are actually people that do this baby thing. Like they dress up and pretend to be babies. In diapers and everything. They shit in their diapers together.". I just laughed in response. It hurt a bit to hear that and I knew I couldn't tell her at that point.

She kept pressing for me to tell her. She even told me that if I didn't tell her then she is probably assuming it is something worse than it is anyways (little does she know lol). I don't really know what to do now. The die is cast though. I am sure I end up relenting and telling her at some point now. I have a plan on how to do it though. I think the association with babies and poop was the biggest issue she had when she was describing her vision of ABDL to me. And messing isn't something I'm into anyways.

If I tell her, then I am going to first open up about mainly having a sub/humiliation kink, which is the truth. The other week I was in the mood and she wasn't. I was hoping I could cross her into the mood, but she eventually just started giving me a hand job. I came super quick from it, which surprised her. In my head I was fantasizing that she didn't want to have sex with me because I wasn't good enough. I imagined she was jerking me off into a diaper that she was going to force me to wear after. Humiliation is a big turn-on for me. I would also explain that is part of the foot fetish thing. Kissing her feet is humiliating/sub, which is part of the reason it turns me on. If I'm brave enough, I'll then to proceed to tell her what is one of the most humiliating things to me. Diapers.

tldr; was about to tell gf about diaper fetish and she brought up abdl to make me feel better (she assumed my fetish must be less embarrassing/creepy than that)

[Mr. Sea Otter]

This may be a bit harsh but....

You have had several opportunities to tell her and you didn't. My own two cents, as somebody who has been there done that (aka having the diaper talk) with several GFs and a now wife and an ex-wife, is that you are being dishonest by not telling the truth. If you want to progress the relationship, you should tell her the truth.

And at this point you have made it out to be a big deal. The reality though, is that it doesn't have to be a big deal. Frankly, most of us make this out to be a MUCH bigger deal than it has to be. But that's what can happen to humans who hide deep personal secrets their whole lives.... we turn it into this whole source of stress and anxiety, living in fear of being discovered and rejected. It doesn't have to be like that. As a really great therapist once told me, 'This is a part of you, but it is just a small part.'

Bottom line for you here is to decide if you want to be honest with your girlfriend, or if you want to suppress your desires, try to make them go away, or commit to keeping them a secret forever. It's your call and I for one won't judge your either way.

Given that this is your first sexual relationship, and the first time you have ever talked to a GF about it, I understand how scary it can be. But lies of omissions are still lies in my book. And I think you can be honest and tell her you don't know exactly what it is or what it means to you. A good person, the spend the rest of our lives together kind of person, should want to help you understand and explore. At least that's how I feel.

[plainsdl]

I don't post much here, but I feel compelled to post to agree with Mr Otter.  I think as much as some women may be "turned off" by the idea, I know for certain women (men also, of course) don't like at all to be misled or lied-to.  It will blow all trust in you if you continue to have the topic brought up, but don't tell her; also now she knows you're keeping "something" from her.  Can't be good for the relationship.  You can reassure her that you are not wanting to pee on her, she doesn't have to touch wet things, herself, etc.
To be complete, I'll share my story about this, I waited quite awhile to tell my current wife, but I definitely did want to tell her before getting serious -- toward thinking about marriage.  We didn't talk much about sex, but once the topic of fetishes did finally come up, it was very difficult, but I told her.  In my case she was very understanding about it, and together we talked about how this may have come about (not sure, myself, really).  She has a degree in psych and is a social worker so it was sort of interest to her as a case study, maybe.  Today, some 20 years later, she doesn't really participate; she's quite vanilla about sex.  I am OK with that,  and we seem to have a healthy sex relationship.  In my case the DL is more about how it feels to me, and I generally try to be discreet about it when I do have desires, wear around her, or do related laundry and such -- mainly I don't want her to feel I am choosing that over being with her. 

[M9t]

Totally agree with Mr. Otter. I've been there, done that, too, especially the part when you've hinted at the kink (out of that mixture of fear and hope) and they just keep bugging you about it, which they have every right to do, can't blame her for that. Had it go really good with girlfriends and had it go really bad with girlfriends and an ex wife, but that's life as an abdl. It depends what you want in a relationship, but that has taken experience in relationships for me to know, no one could tell me what to do... anyway, I think you already dug yourself a hole here. My suggestion, just rip the band aid off and tell her, worse that can happen is she dumps you and your free to hook up with another girl who may be totally in love with your abdl side. Cause they are out there.

[LiL Marc]

On 3/26/2021 at 5:50 PM, LiL Marc said:

It might seem like an easy answer, but for me honesty comes first and foremost, whatever the reason

In the worst case, you can do like many people and deny your diaper pleasures for a few months, a few years, but that will always come back, and in the end you will always be the loser, and you will hurt someone who has invested time in a relationship that you have not been honest

And ultimately when this relationship ends, because consciously or not you won't be who you are, and probably not as happy as you deserve

I would have liked to be much clearer in my explanations, but I speak French

Good luck! ?

 

Above, here is the text that I wrote you a few months ago

 

I find it sad that you are are in the same place, but I also understand that in life we all have our strengths and weaknesses

Honesty always pays off, even when you feel like you're losing sometime

 

Wish you luck again

 

 

 

[toddmdl]

I think it’s fine that you waited to tell her in order to build a relationship that is separate from diapers. Doing it that way helps ensure she is more likely willing to participate. 
 

However, it sounds like she knows something is up. You need to take the dive and tell her. The longer you wait the more curious she’s going to be and the more you hold back the more she’s going to know you are hiding something, and she will feel deceived. 
 

Telling her won’t ruin your sex life. At this point, she knows you and likes you. She won’t leave you over this. Worst case scenario is she won’t participate. I get the feeling that is what you are concerned about, which is very normal. I know I’ve felt that way many times. 
 

You can’t lose either way. If you don’t tell her though, you are guaranteed to not get what you want. 

[messyman]

At some point you will slip up and she will figure it out. At some point she will find your browser history or your stash. There is no way that conversation could go better than one you have now 

[Fartman]

Honestly,

"She said her friend had said I must be gay or have a really weird fetish to still be a virgin at my age. I told her I had some kinks, but was definitely not gay"

This is a red flag to me. First off, she should hopefully like/love you for who you are, as you are. Why is she telling you what her friend thinks? Does she believe that too? She has some dumb friends.

[diapers161]

Well. I finally told her.

 

She had asked about it a few more times since the night I hinted about it. It was clear she really wanted to know and the lack of transparency was bothering her. I still couldn’t work up the nerve to tell her. 

 

We have sex almost every day. A couple weeks ago I had jerked off a couple times while she way away. She come home and was clearly in the mood, but I wasn’t. She can be pretty insecure and I believe she got upset about my lack of being in the mood. While she was upset she told me she had been “assuming the worst” about my unrevealed fetish because of my unwillingness to tell her about it. She also implied it may he related to my lack of being in the mood. I offered to tell her, but she was already too mad and only gave sarcastic replies to the offer. I definitely didn’t want to tell her about this while she was mad. She left to sleep at her place that night. She apologized for everything in the morning.

 

I knew I shouldn’t wait much longer. Yesterday we were having some pillow talk and she opened up to me about being bi. She also hinted that she thought I might be bi. I told her that wasn’t it and finally decided to tell her. I still found it difficult. I tried to have her guess it. I told her “it’s an object and it’s absorbent”.  Her first guess was “a sponge” lol. A few seconds after I said no, I think she realized because she said “omg” and turned away with a disgusted look. After almost a full minute she asked me if I had anything else to say. I told her I wanted to know her thoughts, but she implied she still didn’t know what it was. I told her that it seemed clear to me she did know based on her previous reaction. Suddenly she seemed very insistent on convincing me she still had no idea what it was. I played along and told her it was an article of clothing. She still pretended not to know. So I told her “diapers”. Her reaction was very controlled, but not negative. 

 

I think she felt bad for her initial disgusted response, so she felt she needed to pretend to not know in order to get a second chance at responding better.

 

We talked about it a little more. Thinking of a few things she asked.. She asked if it was a mommy/daddy thing? I said not really. She asked why I liked them? I explained it as almost a humiliation/bdsm thing. She seemed to understand. She also admitted to understanding why I had been hesitant to tell her because of how embarrassing it is. She asked if peeing in them was something I liked. I said I do. I affirmed to her I didn’t like poop. She was relieved to hear that. She told me one of the reasons she wanted to know was because she didn’t want me to feel unfulfilled sexually. I reassured her I really enjoyed our current sex life and didn’t feel unfulfilled, but I’m still hoping she was hinting she’d be willing it participate. I think she also asked if it I was mainly just into wearing myself. I told her it was both (I also like seeing others wear).

 

That’s all I can think of right now. We had pretty good vanilla sex immediately following this conversation. It happened Friday night. The last couple days it hasn’t been brought up again. 

 

Now that the hard part is over I want to ask her more about what she feels about it. Would she be willing to participate at all? Would she be ok with me wearing diapers around her? Would she be ok if I was in a wet diaper? Could I sleep in a wet diaper around her? Obviously I’m going to go slow.

 

The first thing I’d like to ask her is what she’d be more comfortable with, me or her wearing? I’d love either of those things. I am cautiously optimistic.

 

Thanks for reading everyone. I apologize for the infrequent updates. I am reading everyone’s replies very closely. I appreciate it all very much.

[Forced2wet]

That’s good progress.

I’d suggest that, whilst it’s probably on your mind every minute of the day, you wait for your G/F to bring the subject up again. 
If you come across too keen it may well ‘scare her away’

Good luck 

[LiL Marc]

Now give her time to assimilate it all and when I said time its not a week of two, it seems easy to us but in fact it is not

Don't push her and I think it's not a good idea to ask her right away if she wants to try to wearring