M9t

Totally agree. I have a long story with the ups and downs of abdl life within relationships. I don't feel like typing all that out, but in short, keeping my abdl secret only led to problems in my relationships, one of those being an ex-wife who hated my abdl. Since that marriage ended 13 years ago, I did some work in therapy that helped me accept my abdl and since, and I'm not suggesting anyone do this, it's just my experience, but since I know I cannot be in a relationship where my partner doesn't participate in my abdl with me and since it can be an instant deal breaker, I believe it's only fair to tell someone I'm dating that I'm abdl very early on, I've done it as early as the second date, just so I don't waste mine or their time with continuous dating. I've had 3 out of like 10 girls I've tried dating since my divorce where my abdl has been accepted and participated in and those 3 turned out to be pretty exciting relationships that ended for other reasons. I believe the most important part in all this is just the honesty aspect of it. Just put it out there on the table cause secrets only cause distrust and relationships are dead if there is no trust whether someone is abdl or not. Also, I would say that you have to be cautious with who you disclose your abdl to cause a couple of women I've tried dating who were put off by it did out me to some of their friends but you know what? In my experience, you have to take risks or else you will always be alone or stuck in relationships keeping your abdl secret.

Totally agree with Mr. Otter. I've been there, done that, too, especially the part when you've hinted at the kink (out of that mixture of fear and hope) and they just keep bugging you about it, which they have every right to do, can't blame her for that. Had it go really good with girlfriends and had it go really bad with girlfriends and an ex wife, but that's life as an abdl. It depends what you want in a relationship, but that has taken experience in relationships for me to know, no one could tell me what to do... anyway, I think you already dug yourself a hole here. My suggestion, just rip the band aid off and tell her, worse that can happen is she dumps you and your free to hook up with another girl who may be totally in love with your abdl side. Cause they are out there.