Am I Doing The Right Thing ?

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I am a fifty-five year old adult woman. I am bisexual and have known and been out to my parents and family since the age of twelve. I am also a diaper lover since the age of thirteen. My nephew came out to his parents (My Brother) at the age of thirteen. My nephew Jr. was going downhill at a very fast pace. His school grades were way below average and having a father that shunned him for being gay did not help the situation. The last straw for me was having my nephew live on the street. I legally adopted my nephew and cured the situation. Since he has been in my custody his grades went to straight A's and he has skipped a grade and graduated high school at the age of seventeen. He just celebrated his eighteeth birthday and also is a diaper lover since age fourteen. My question is "did I as a mother do the right thing by accepting him as gay and a diaper lover make him get his life on the right track" ?  I have never shunned him or made him feel inadequate in any way shape or form. I raised him with love, honesty, integrity, pride and to strive in everything he puts his mind to. To me he is a perfect example of a young man. Respectful, caring, polite and loving. He has brought nothing but joy to my life and my wifes. He is college bound this spring and I wish him the best. Does anyone here as a parent feel that I have done right or wrong by him ?

[babyalan]

Regardless of what your family may say it sounds like the young man is on the right track.

You have givn the young man a home and acceptance if you did only that you did the right thing no matter the sexual orientation , there is however one golden rule in the ab dl community that is never involving children in your fetish in a sexual way however if you let him he himself but didn't sexualize him then you did right by him.

 

lastly your last name meaning your b probably Italian and grew up in a Catholic home this gives you away a little please do not give into your catholic guilt it never does anyone any good.

You are letting him go and give him the values to respect all others no matter who they are.

[square_duck]

It seems that, in this case, the saying that"the ends justify the means" applies. It sounds like he was basically suffering from rejection and lack of guidence. Having gone through some of this myself, you provided what he needed, acceptance for who he was and guidence and support. Had you "NOT" interveined would gave been far far worse. Living on the street leads to a life of crime and self destruction.   He more than likely would have wound up dead, or in jail. 

So to answer your question, yes, you did what needed to be done, and basically gave him his life back. 

Congrats!

[Transfusionelle]

5 hours ago, babyalan said:

Regardless of what your family may say it sounds like the young man is on the right track.

You have givn the young man a home and acceptance if you did only that you did the right thing no matter the sexual orientation , there is however one golden rule in the ab dl community that is never involving children in your fetish in a sexual way however if you let him he himself but didn't sexualize him then you did right by him.

 

lastly your last name meaning your b probably Italian and grew up in a Catholic home this gives you away a little please do not give into your catholic guilt it never does anyone any good.

You are letting him go and give him the values to respect all others no matter who they are.

I am Evelyns wife and anything involving children and sex would violate our code of ethics and humanity. I met junior at age fifteen and he was well on his way to a better life under the guidance of my wife. We all come from a very Hispanic Catholic community and have never involved children in any of our fetishes. I am her wife and also take pride in the upbringing of a great man and without our guidance and help we don't know where he would be today. I say my wifes intrevention saved his life and turned him into a college bound man.

[philmydiaper]

Evelyn my love I have known you for over twenty years. You are perfect in all your ways !!! I remember the first day we met at Montifiore Hosptal. Both of our fathers were in ICU and on their death beds. I didn't even know you and you came up to me and hugged me. I never forgot that. I met your mom and you met mine and we all formed a bond. We have both shared tragedy and loss. My wife and your husband was a rough time we both shared but we still survived. I remember the day your brother threw Jr out of the house, you came to me for advise. You stopped me from going over to his house and beating him senseless ( I do not condone violence of any kind ) But for me to throw a thirteen year old boy into the street was something that is unforgivable. I went with you to get the adoption papers and have them signed. You are a great friend and a terrific role model and mother. You are gonna get the crackpots crawling out of the woodwork here. My own daughter was ready to adopt Jr. I remember the first time you met Elle and you asked me what I thought. I gave you a big bear hug and told you shes a keeper. The smile on your face said it all. You raised Jr to be a man and to think for himself and be proud of himself. You are a woman of integrity and honor and I say you did the best thing possible for that boy.  I knew your husband and he was a great man, he is up in heaven now smiling down at you and praising you. Don't let anyone say you made a bad choice. You did what you had to do and Jr is a man and can now make his own decisions, and believe me I have had talks with him and that boy worships you, I don't cry very often but tears are streaming down my face right now. I love you Evelyn and you did what your heart told you to do. You and Elle rock !!

[rusty pins]

Look at the situation as how you told it.  "My nephew Jr. was going downhill at a very fast pace. His school grades were way below average and having a father that shunned him for being gay did not help the situation. The last straw for me was having my nephew live on the street. I legally adopted my nephew and cured the situation. Since he has been in my custody his grades went to straight A's and he has skipped a grade and graduated high school at the age of seventeen. He just celebrated his eighteenth birthday and also is a diaper lover since age fourteen. My question is "did I as a mother do the right thing by accepting him as gay and a diaper lover make him get his life on the right track" 

My God Evey!  How could you even second guess yourself on this!  You are a saint!  You took your nephew who was obviously shunned by his father and on a downward spiral, adopted him, kept him off the streets and possibly off drugs and out of jail, gave him love and a stable surrounding to the point where not only has his downward spiral reversed trend, he became not only an A student but even skipped a grade!  If there were more people like you in this world we probably wouldn't have half the problems we have today with teenagers, prostitution, drugs, gangs and crime!  So what if you are Bi and he is Gay.  So what if you both love diapers?  You set this person on a track of success that will do him well in life as long as he continues on the path you have helped for him to achieve.

[AbabeBill]

I’m not a parent, but I think I can still say, you did good! You stepped up, and gave him a life, and a means to get good tools to continue on. Now, he can make up his own mind, how far he wants to go, and what he wants to do. I’m sure, he will still need some guidance. At 18, you can make decisions for yourself (legally), but it doesn’t always mean you have all the knowledge to make good ones. 

[Huggybutt]

@Evelyn DellcerroMy question is "did I as a mother do the right thing by accepting him as gay and a diaper lover make him get his life on the right track" ?

 

YES, just yes! What you did was exactly what real family is all about.

[~Brian~]

14 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

I am a fifty-five year old adult woman. I am bisexual and have known and been out to my parents and family since the age of twelve. I am also a diaper lover since the age of thirteen. My nephew came out to his parents (My Brother) at the age of thirteen. My nephew Jr. was going downhill at a very fast pace. His school grades were way below average and having a father that shunned him for being gay did not help the situation. The last straw for me was having my nephew live on the street. I legally adopted my nephew and cured the situation. Since he has been in my custody his grades went to straight A's and he has skipped a grade and graduated high school at the age of seventeen. He just celebrated his eighteeth birthday and also is a diaper lover since age fourteen. My question is "did I as a mother do the right thing by accepting him as gay and a diaper lover make him get his life on the right track" ?  I have never shunned him or made him feel inadequate in any way shape or form. I raised him with love, honesty, integrity, pride and to strive in everything he puts his mind to. To me he is a perfect example of a young man. Respectful, caring, polite and loving. He has brought nothing but joy to my life and my wifes. He is college bound this spring and I wish him the best. Does anyone here as a parent feel that I have done right or wrong by him ?

@Evelyn Dellcerro

As far as I see it, you have done the RIGHT thing - Your Nephew seems to have his head screwed on straight, loves you BOTH, and has good supports, and has plans for his future.  This would NOT be possible without good supports.  It is VERY hard to be a teenager in this time:  There are many things that can throw you off track, and you can get sucked into a world where you think everything is OK, but inside you have to deal with feelings and emotions which you may not understand, or be to control.  Even as a young adult, you struggle with these issues. 

You decided to take action and remove your nephew from the bad situation, setting him up in a loving, compassionate, supportive environment.  Being a teenager is hard enough, but to also have to deal with rejection because he was gay is hard.  You and others gave him the support he needed, and also instilled in him the values that you feel are necessary for him to succeed.  From what I see, I believe JR is a very special young man, who honestly loves you and elle and others within his family circle.  He has turned his life around, and you can BET that he is successful because you are there, and supportive of him.  Also, the ultimate thing that you did was to ADOPT him, which shows me that you LOVE Him, and know what that means:  You as a mother, have DONE what you feel is right for the situation, and because of your actions, your nephew is is happy, accepted, and loved, and is well on his way - Don't feel bad, you have helped him become a better young man, than he would have been, had you NOT stepped in

*HUG*

Brian

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I am sitting here in happy tears reading all your responses and the outpouring of support. All  I wanted for my nephew was to have a fighting chance. I have loving parents that raised me to love others regardless of race, creed, color or sexual orientation. My mother knew I was bisexual before I even came out. My father hugged me and whispered in my ear "you're still my little girl and nothing will ever change that". I miss my father so much and my husband, but I am still surrounded by loved ones. All I set out to do was give my nephew that chance that his father didn't give him. I still love my brother, which is so hard to admit, but I will never forgive him for his failure as a father. Thank you all for your love and support @~Brian~, @Baby Alan, @Huggybutt, @philmydiaper, @AbabeBill, @square_duck, @rusty pins and of course to my pillar of support and the love of my life @Transfusionelle  I am sure I will be thanking many others ... I love you all so much

[~Brian~]

5 hours ago, rusty pins said:

My God Evey!  How could you even second guess yourself on this!  You are a saint

@rusty pins

I would AGREE - THIS is supposed to be one of the things that an Aunt or an Uncle is supposed to do: This means, that they support their brother or sister, or their nieces or nephews, instilling in them the values that you think are best!  Barring that, being supportive and taking care of them or a situation.  @Evelyn Dellcerrotook that route, was supportive, was decisive, and took care of her nephew, by removing him from a bad situation, and placing him in a better one:  Sometimes you may second guess what you do, and I am no exception to this:  I always wonder: I have to be careful because my niece lives with her mom, and my brother lives with his girlfriend, and she is young, so what I have to do is make sure what I say or do, lets her know that REGARDLESS of what happens, Uncle Brian will be there, and if she says anything regarding her mom, that I don't take a negative or bad tone with this:  I have to remain POSITIVE, because I want her to know that, even if she and I don't see each other much, that I LOVE her, and to the best of my ability, will be there for her, should she need me.

Not ONLY is @Evelyn Dellcerro an Aunt, but she probably has second thoughts, just like I do:  However, she did the ultimate thing: she Adopted her nephew: a sign of LOVE - and she continues to show that love by being there - by allowing her nephew to be himself, and explore. in a safe way - and that is what an Aunt does - Loves Unconditionally.

Now, I'm gonna open up my "uncle book" and add another 2 profiles:  an Eve, and an Elle, so that I am even a BETTER uncle - I try to do my best as well, but sometimes it can be confusing and like forging new ground.  If you have good role models, you can't lose

Brian

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

On 11/27/2020 at 12:33 AM, square_duck said:

It seems that, in this case, the saying that"the ends justify the means" applies. It sounds like he was basically suffering from rejection and lack of guidence. Having gone through some of this myself, you provided what he needed, acceptance for who he was and guidence and support. Had you "NOT" interveined would gave been far far worse. Living on the street leads to a life of crime and self destruction.   He more than likely would have wound up dead, or in jail. 

So to answer your question, yes, you did what needed to be done, and basically gave him his life back. 

Congrats!

Ducky we have chatted many times and you are a man I look up to and respect. Your words mean a lot to me and I just wanna send you a hug and a big kiss and say Thank You from the bottom of my heart !!   Evelyn Dellcerro

[square_duck]

Awwww!!!. And here I thought you only loved me for my diapers and great legs...

Thanks....?

[~Brian~]

On 11/29/2020 at 10:29 AM, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

Ducky we have chatted many times and you are a man I look up to and respect. Your words mean a lot to me and I just wanna send you a hug and a big kiss and say Thank You from the bottom of my heart !!   Evelyn Dellcerro

@Evelyn Dellcerro

and YOU young lady, are a person that I look up to and respect:  Both you and your loving wife @Transfusionellehave done this, and earned the respect of me, and I want to THANK you for all you have done to help me as I explore and move forward on my journey.  it took me 24 years, but I finally had the courage and the strength to say "what the heck am I worried about........" and then work it through.........It is hard when you have a feeling that you cant even express because you don't know what it is, much LESS know HOW to express it.  it has taken me 24 LONG years to come to the realization that the feelings I am experiencing are ones that I have always had, yet had to repress and keep down, because of fear of exposure:  It also takes guts for me to admit things that I would never have done in the past, but I admire you and your wife, for your openness and your candid assessments:  As you said to @square_duck, your words and counsel mean a LOT to me, and I APPRECIATE you and elle for that - I LOVE you BOTH, and mean that from the bottom of my heart!

Bows to the ladies

Brian

[Mars.inDiapers]

You've done the right thing. Very likely the best thing that could have been done, and I don't even see why you'd doubt that, or how anyone reasonable could think you've done wrong. 

What other options were even there? To leave a teenaged boy, who had been thrown out of his home, to his own devices, out on the street? There's hardly any chance how that could have ended other than very badly.

Without your influence, your nephew wouldn't be any less gay, only much worse off in every other aspect of his life. And as for his being DL, I'm sure he's smart and mature enough to know what he likes or doesn't, and to do it because he likes it; not because you like it.

You didn't force this interest onto him. Maybe inspired him a little, but so what. Is he addicted to it? If not, nothing wrong has been done.

 I'd probably talk to him about how it's necessary not to get too addicted to the ABDL lifestyle, that there are time where being actual adult with responsibility is important, but once there's a good, stable balance between those, there's nothing wrong with it. (That is, if there's any worrying uncertainty that he is aware of this necessity of this stable balance). It's just another hobby (with a potential to get expensive, perhaps also important topic to discuss with him). 

Obviously, willfully ignorant people will be willfully ignorant, haters are gonna hate, etc. Ignoringng them, whenever possible, is for the best. There's hardly any point in trying to debunk whatever nonsense they might think, trying to explain things to them such as that "no, 'gay recruitment' is not a real thing", "no, conversion therapy is a pseudoscientific quackery which does not turn LGBT people straight; what it actually does is violate their personalities and ruin their lives", and "no, throwing your teenaged kid out onto the street is not a well meant life lesson as per 'tough love' (which itself is utter bullshit); what it really is, is the total opposite of any kind of love, and a complete disregard for the child's well being. " Screw them. Talking to these people is like talking to a brick wall.

You and your wife are wonderful persons, you made your nephew's life good and meaningful, and thanks to you, he too is a wonderful person, and I'm sure he will also make someone else's life good and meaningful. I don't see what you could have possibly done better.

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

On 12/3/2020 at 5:44 PM, DiapersOfTheStorm said:

You've done the right thing. Very likely the best thing that could have been done, and I don't even see why you'd doubt that, or how anyone reasonable could think you've done wrong. 

What other options were even there? To leave a teenaged boy, who had been thrown out of his home, to his own devices, out on the street? There's hardly any chance how that could have ended other than very badly.

Without your influence, your nephew wouldn't be any less gay, only much worse off in every other aspect of his life. And as for his being DL, I'm sure he's smart and mature enough to know what he likes or doesn't, and to do it because he likes it; not because you like it.

You didn't force this interest onto him. Maybe inspired him a little, but so what. Is he addicted to it? If not, nothing wrong has been done.

 I'd probably talk to him about how it's necessary not to get too addicted to the ABDL lifestyle, that there are time where being actual adult with responsibility is important, but once there's a good, stable balance between those, there's nothing wrong with it. (That is, if there's any worrying uncertainty that he is aware of this necessity of this stable balance). It's just another hobby (with a potential to get expensive, perhaps also important topic to discuss with him). 

Obviously, willfully ignorant people will be willfully ignorant, haters are gonna hate, etc. Ignoringng them, whenever possible, is for the best. There's hardly any point in trying to debunk whatever nonsense they might think, trying to explain things to them such as that "no, 'gay recruitment' is not a real thing", "no, conversion therapy is a pseudoscientific quackery which does not turn LGBT people straight; what it actually does is violate their personalities and ruin their lives", and "no, throwing your teenaged kid out onto the street is not a well meant life lesson as per 'tough love' (which itself is utter bullshit); what it really is, is the total opposite of any kind of love, and a complete disregard for the child's well being. " Screw them. Talking to these people is like talking to a brick wall.

You and your wife are wonderful persons, you made your nephew's life good and meaningful, and thanks to you, he too is a wonderful person, and I'm sure he will also make someone else's life good and meaningful. I don't see what you could have possibly done better.

Thank You so very much for your kind words of encouragement @DiapersOfTheStorm. Everyone has doubts of decisions that are made involving another human life, and I am no different. I do say truthfully I have no regrets of anything I have done. My nephew has been a gem and a great part of my life and I look forward to see him excel in college. He is on the track of greatness and we as his aunts will be his cheerleaders all the way !

[Tai K]

I think you have done a great job. I have gotten to speak with him and he is a very respectful and intelligent young man.

Congrats on what you have done Eve.  ???

[amorfraldaJR]

@tai_kamiya (tk) Thank you so much Tai and that means a lot to me. I am not the mixed up boy I was before my aunt taught me what unconditional love can do for a person. I learned pride, honor and respect from my aunt and she taught me to live with my head up and never to doubt my decisions. I am 18 now and have so much to learn in life.I am gay and I love diapers,, but that is such a minute part of me. Respectable because it is proper, and inteligent because of my last 5 years of upbringing by my aunt Eve & Elle. School became a very important part of my life and I look forward to the challenges college will bring me. Thank you Tai and hugs my friend,, You're a good man and you will go places. Follow your heart.

[Tai K]

Awww thank you Jr. Hold your head high and be proud of everything you have accomplished now and in the future my friend. Hugs to you. By the way very cute pic

 

[Little Sherri]

I entirely agree that you did more than the "right" thing, you did the best that you could do for him, and the proof is in the results; he is thriving. I wish I had had someone loving and understanding to help me through the strange and tumultuous period of adolescence and young adulthood, which can be difficult for everyone, but even more so for people working through expressing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity, as well as coming to terms with predispositions such as the ones we discuss here. I grew up wearing diapers to bed throughout most of my childhood, and when I finally outgrew the need to do so (and outgrew the diapers themselves!), I then felt like I had this hole within me, something was missing... and eventually I realized that having been in diapers for so long, they had become a part of my being, essentially, but that realization carried with it a great deal of shame and anxiety - I was sure I was the only 12-year-old in the world wired like that. My step-dad eventually discovered my trove of homemade diapers, and he treated it like he'd found my stash of crystal meth - I was humiliated, and I buried that side of me for a couple of decades. I now understand that a lot of the pain and shame I experienced were totally unnecessary, and what you are doing Eve is helping your nephew avoid that path from the start. I say well done. 

[amorfraldaJR]

On 1/12/2021 at 10:58 AM, Little Sherri said:

I entirely agree that you did more than the "right" thing, you did the best that you could do for him, and the proof is in the results; he is thriving. I wish I had had someone loving and understanding to help me through the strange and tumultuous period of adolescence and young adulthood, which can be difficult for everyone, but even more so for people working through expressing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity, as well as coming to terms with predispositions such as the ones we discuss here. I grew up wearing diapers to bed throughout most of my childhood, and when I finally outgrew the need to do so (and outgrew the diapers themselves!), I then felt like I had this hole within me, something was missing... and eventually I realized that having been in diapers for so long, they had become a part of my being, essentially, but that realization carried with it a great deal of shame and anxiety - I was sure I was the only 12-year-old in the world wired like that. My step-dad eventually discovered my trove of homemade diapers, and he treated it like he'd found my stash of crystal meth - I was humiliated, and I buried that side of me for a couple of decades. I now understand that a lot of the pain and shame I experienced were totally unnecessary, and what you are doing Eve is helping your nephew avoid that path from the start. I say well done. 

@Little Sherri Thank you so much for your kind words for my aunt. I have tried to avoid this post as much as I could, It makes me think back to a part of my life when I was weak and scared. I will never go back to being that scared little boy and yes I owe my life to my aunts. I also owe a debt of gratitude and appreciation to my uncle @philmydiaper who has been a rock my whole life. There are many here at this site that I respect and cherish for having love and respect for my aunts. I love you all here and maybe this will sink in to many, that love does work. Peace !

[~Brian~]

12 hours ago, amorfraldaJR said:

@Little Sherri Thank you so much for your kind words for my aunt. I have tried to avoid this post as much as I could, It makes me think back to a part of my life when I was weak and scared. I will never go back to being that scared little boy and yes I owe my life to my aunts. I also owe a debt of gratitude and appreciation to my uncle @philmydiaper who has been a rock my whole life. There are many here at this site that I respect and cherish for having love and respect for my aunts. I love you all here and maybe this will sink in to many, that love does work. Peace !

@amorfraldaJR@Transfusionelle@Evelyn Dellcerro@philmydiaper

It is hard to have to relive traumatic situations, especially ones that have an effect on who or what you are, or will, or have become.  You were weak and scared, because you were placed in a situation that few young adults would EVER be placed in, and everything was PULLED out from under you - You Aunt @Evelyn Dellcerroand your Uncle @philmydiaperwere your "Personal Flotation Devices" for this situation, and they SAW what happened, and acted in a way that they thought was right, and they will ALWAYS have your back, Jr, A L W A Y S!!!!  (you can also add me to that list - Friends like that are NOT going ANYWHERE!!)

You will NEVER have to go back, to what you were, and in your case, going back is hard for you - You have met the challenge, kicked it so far that it at the BOTTOM of New York Harbor.  You are NOT weak, or Scared anymore, because you are able to deal with it - You showed TRUE colors, man:  You were DOWN, but You were NEVER OUT! 

Jason:  Your Aunts and Uncle are SPECIAL, and they have EARNED MY RESPECT, as well as many members here:  They are NOT afraid to state their opinion, or to "tell it like it is" - So Many people are afraid to ask the questions that matter:  I used to be afraid, but I am NOT afraid to ask, and your Aunts have helped me to accept what I have and had known for years:  I am NOT strange, weird, crazy, and liking and needing or choosing diapers is NOT wrong:  I just like diapers, and that is THAT - I have accepted this, and have been able to help others because I believe that was the one thing I could not understand is the WHAT, and the WHY - Your Aunts helped me complete the equation, and I owe them a debt of gratitude - The Mission of an Auntie or an Uncle is to Guide and Protect and nurture and support their nieces/nephews, and to make sure that they have what they need:  Your aunts BOTH do that, and they have continued to do that:  You are STRONGER then you were that day at 13, and you will ALWAYS have your Aunts' Support - They are NOT going anywhere man - and you can BANK on that

Because of what they did to help YOU, they have been added to the "Baker's Uncle Protocols." They have both shown me what an Uncle should DO when a niece or nephew is in TROUBLE, or just needs a hand, or an ear:  As an Uncle Myself, my responsibility is to make sure that my nieces or nephews have the support they need: I take that SERIOUSLY - When this is over man, I am GONNA HUG the HELL outta my family - I MISS them, but we HAVE to get this damn Pandemic under CONTROL!

As Far as I am Concerned:  Superman has an "S" on his Chest, and has Superpowers, and YOUR Aunts have the "E's" on theirs, and they have the power to LOVE, Understand, Protect, Nurture, and Guide:  That is what its about:  Uncles and Aunts are incredible: and I am fortunate to have many, each of them an influence on who and what I have become:  Give these superheros a BIG HUG, because they all are on your team.

Good Luck Bud!

Brian

[Babygeebee]

Evelyn,  Of course you did the right thing.  How could you not when you are motivated by love.  I have only  known you,  Elle, and Jr for a short time and from what I can see you guys share a wonderful, dynamic life.  I am so happy for you all. 

Hugs

Geebee

[Boston_Daddy]

Eve, you are an amazing individual and i love talking to you and Elle and just recently JR.  You have done a great job raising and molding your grandson to the person he is today.  I really hope i can come visit you guys and hangout in NY and do crazy diaper stuff .... LOL 

 

Love the young kid ?

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

On 2/14/2021 at 4:44 PM, Boston_Daddy said:

Eve, you are an amazing individual and i love talking to you and Elle and just recently JR.  You have done a great job raising and molding your grandson to the person he is today.  I really hope i can come visit you guys and hangout in NY and do crazy diaper stuff .... LOL 

 

Love the young kid ?

Hes my nephew sweetie, not my grandson. I do look forward to that day though. Just the name Grandma comes with so much prestige. I cry waiting for that day.