Scared of Becoming too Dependent

[Diaper_Boi]

Hi,

Recently I came off of a six month purge last month and started wearing again, however this time things are different. I now find myself wearing way more often and usually I will wear for a few hours or overnight and then change back into underwear once I am done. However, lately things have been quite different. I've started changing into a new diaper when I change out of the old one and it has been going for over 48 hours, I just can't bring myself to put anything else on. 

I'm slightly worried that I'm starting to become too dependant on them, I know I can't wear them all the time, it's too hard to cover up. There's something in my brain telling me I NEED them though. Part of it is sexual for me, but another part is comfort and I just feel way more at ease when wearing. What should I do?

[stevewet]

8 minutes ago, Diaper_Boi said:

Hi,

Recently I came off of a six month purge last month and started wearing again, however this time things are different. I now find myself wearing way more often and usually I will wear for a few hours or overnight and then change back into underwear once I am done. However, lately things have been quite different. I've started changing into a new diaper when I change out of the old one and it has been going for over 48 hours, I just can't bring myself to put anything else on. 

I'm slightly worried that I'm starting to become too dependant on them, I know I can't wear them all the time, it's too hard to cover up. There's something in my brain telling me I NEED them though. Part of it is sexual for me, but another part is comfort and I just feel way more at ease when wearing. What should I do?

I would say you have too choices. Go with it or stop now. I wear all the time and couldn't imagine not being in nappies now but it isn't for everyone

[Txdiapered]

It’s an EXTREMELY hard decision any way you go. But ultimately you have to make the choice that feels right inside yourself. For myself I didn’t get a choice. I was a DL all my life with bed wetting and daytime wetting as far back as I can remember. So diapers were always a part of my life, but I wasn’t in them full time. I always wanted to be full time, but in 2005 a drunk driver hit my truck and due to injuries I am now diapered 24/7 with both bladder and bowel incontinence. So I got my wish and I wouldn’t change it. Could have found an easier way to get there. So you have to do what feels right for you.

[Diaper_Boi]

I want to wear more often, but my biggest fear is being caught. No matter how much I try to hide it, I know that sooner or later somebody will catch me. Especially if I start wearing in public. I've been lucky as the past few days I've not had anything to do, so I've been able to wear freely. But I couldn't imagine any of my housemates, friends or family finding out.

[WBxx]

It’s different, but I relate to the concern.  Having wet the bed as a child many years ago I reverted back to the habit. Thing is, as time passes daytime control is becoming more and more of an issue.  I now wonder if wearing and using diapers night after night after night is physically and/or mentally weakening my daytime control.  I sincerely hope not.

[Firefly 35]

3 hours ago, Diaper_Boi said:

I want to wear more often, but my biggest fear is being caught. No matter how much I try to hide it, I know that sooner or later somebody will catch me. Especially if I start wearing in public. I've been lucky as the past few days I've not had anything to do, so I've been able to wear freely. But I couldn't imagine any of my housemates, friends or family finding out.

If you feel like you're wearing too much, it's best to taper off until you reach what you think is optimal.  Quitting cold turkey is what keeps the binge/purge cycle going.  If you're worried about getting caught, there's ways to prevent that too.  It just depends on your situation.

[Smash-N-Dash]

Just my two cents, but this could just be your mind and body coping for the purge period you just went through, and that what you are currently experiencing is possibly temporary. There’s a distinct possibility that eventually the binge and purge will even itself out and you find yourself a balance of wanting and not wanting to wear them. That’s where I’m at with them: I wear when I feel like it, and when I don’t want to, I don’t.

[maly]

Reading this and your previous post, you come across as some one who is very anxious.

Now speaking as some one who is prone to high anxiety myself, i would say try not to use the diapers as a control mechanism for anxiety, use a variety of copping stategies ie. meditation, excercise or whatever works for you. Then you may be able to relaxe and enjoy your diapers rather than becoming fixated on them.

I hope you will be able to find your happy balance.

Maly.

[Diaper_Boi]

I think at this point the best for me would be to mainly wear at night, that way I can still enjoy diapers but it won't get in the way of my day to day life. 

[spark]

19 hours ago, maly said:

Reading this and your previous post, you come across as some one who is very anxious.

Now speaking as some one who is prone to high anxiety myself, i would say try not to use the diapers as a control mechanism for anxiety, use a variety of copping stategies ie. meditation, excercise or whatever works for you. Then you may be able to relaxe and enjoy your diapers rather than becoming fixated on them.

I hope you will be able to find your happy balance.

Maly.

I agree with that, because I see the same characteristics that I experienced when I was younger.    I think the whole binge/purge cycle is mostly due to guilt cycles that we experience as we learn to accept ourselves for what we are.   I like to wear diapers.  I'm going to wear a diaper when I feel like it, and when it's appropriate.  For me, that's about 90% of the time.   I'm going to use that diaper when I feel like it, and I'm not going to feel guilty about using my diaper.   That process took time, and I didn't have it when I was in my 20's.   Eventually I accepted it, and once I did the whole binge/purge cycles ceased, and I didn't get anxious, or heightened senses when I was in my diapers.  In fact, it's become an effective coping mechanism.   The diapers center me, and have become calming influence.

Prior to that revelation(?), diapers were more of exhilarating experience. There was risk to wearing diapers, and I was being a little naughty by doing it.  I would get a rush of endorphins, which is not a great cure for anxiety.    I think the younger ABDL's need to learn how to deal with that.  And from the experience of the older ABDL's, we each have had our own path and there is no single way to gain that.

I will note that the OP is chief concern shouldn't be an issue.  From my experience, there is no way for a user to become fully dependent on diapers unless they have 100% intention to do so.    Even with the intention to become dependent on diapers, it takes months of exclusive diaper use.  It's probably a little easier to become 'diaper dependent', which only means that you can use diaper without much mental push.   In that situation, without diapers, you wouldn't have an accident- unless you choose to have an accident.

In my case, I've slept in diapers almost every single night for the last ten years, and I still wouldn't wet the bed unintentionally.   I wear diapers 90% of time, and wet in them without thinking about it.  But I don't leak (much) if I don't have a diaper.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

There is a big difference between mental dependency and a physical dependency.  To honestly be physically dependent on diapers you would have to be unpotty training for years and I know this through experience.  Mental dependancy comes much sooner.  When not in a diaper you feel naked and completely uncomfortable.  I lived life like you for years.  In and out of diapers until finally I decided I would only be happy wearing diapers full time.  It is a big step but something I knew I needed to do.  

[Rachael-Little]

I’ve been wearing to bed every night for 2 months and I’m concerned can I give them up when my supply runs out in a few weeks.

Im determined not to order anymore. I love the idea I don’t have to get out of bed to go potty.

Im not a bed wetter so I know when I’m going but I am very comfortable wearing to bed

[deewet]

I would add that most of these conversations seem appropriate for younger folks but when you get into 60's, pushing 70 and have had issues with prostrate, or bladder, or UT, sometimes you don't get all the options to consider.  I find my self to a point now where unless I wear some absorbent type of underwear, by end of day my pants and underwear will remind  me I should have.  I understand too well now why the market is so large for these products, as sudden strong urges to go, or slight dribbles before or after urination are a part of my life now! Thinking back to when I was younger, I am reminded of the many times when I noticed an older person around me by their odor. 

Thank goodness for all the products we have now to control this!!

[Angela Bauer]

On 11/15/2019 at 4:28 AM, Diaper_Boi said:

Hi,

Recently I came off of a six month purge last month and started wearing again, however this time things are different. I now find myself wearing way more often and usually I will wear for a few hours or overnight and then change back into underwear once I am done. However, lately things have been quite different. I've started changing into a new diaper when I change out of the old one and it has been going for over 48 hours, I just can't bring myself to put anything else on. 

I'm slightly worried that I'm starting to become too dependant on them, I know I can't wear them all the time, it's too hard to cover up. There's something in my brain telling me I NEED them though. Part of it is sexual for me, but another part is comfort and I just feel way more at ease when wearing. What should I do?

Hello Diaper_Boi, all I can do to help is to share my own history of bladder control problems. When I was born in July 1964 my mother, her mother and Mom's youngest sister all were urinary incontinent. My oldest sibling by 5 years, Penny, needed diapers for all car rides longer than 45 minutes. Of course all this is what my family has told me. Penny does not remember when she was toilet trained, but we were told that was before she turned 3. This was also true for me except that by age 5 in the car I could hold it for an hour. I remember going to pre-school at 4 wearing cotton trainers covered by vinyl panties. I wore those most of the time until I was finished with 1st grade. By then I had a younger brother and 2 younger sisters who needed at least trainers and vinyl panties virtually full time. Penny reverted to bedwetting when I was 7 and she was 12. To make life easier all of us wore just-in-case diapers on trips.

I reverted to bedwetting in July 1976 about the same time I reached puberty. That was when I was taught how to pin on my own gauze diapers. For school I still wore trainers with vinyl panties when it was cold and without vinyl panties when it was warm or hot. For pre=law university in 1981 I had to learn to deal with Attends disposables because my dorm did not have a coin laundry. In June 1985, as I was moving to law school, I lost most of my day control. Until late 1991 I had just enough control that if I had to stay dry enough to wear conventional panties I could, but doing so required a lot of concentration.

It was not until 1996 that I met a female urologist. What my supportive family told me was that there is no shame either wearing diapers or having wetting accidents. The difference being that it is less messy to wet a diaper.

The fact is it costs a lot of time and money to be urinary incontinent, so you need to budget carefully. Be thankful for days when you can get by with a minimum of diapers, but please do not be embarrassed to wear a diaper when you are not sure you can hold it long enough to use a toilet. There are health risks to wetting a bed or clothing instead of a diaper.

Good luck!

[Alex Bridges]

On 11/15/2019 at 6:28 AM, Diaper_Boi said:

Hi,

Recently I came off of a six month purge last month and started wearing again, however this time things are different. I now find myself wearing way more often and usually I will wear for a few hours or overnight and then change back into underwear once I am done. However, lately things have been quite different. I've started changing into a new diaper when I change out of the old one and it has been going for over 48 hours, I just can't bring myself to put anything else on. 

I'm slightly worried that I'm starting to become too dependant on them, I know I can't wear them all the time, it's too hard to cover up. There's something in my brain telling me I NEED them though. Part of it is sexual for me, but another part is comfort and I just feel way more at ease when wearing. What should I do?

First, what do you mean by dependent?

 

I guess I’m dependent in the sense that they make me happy and I prefer to be in them most of the time, but this has not had any negative impact on my life. They’re just my underwear. I’m not 24/7, but I’m close to it. Just my undies. Are you dependent on your underwear?

Some advice:

Stop purging. It’s a hard cycle to break, but once you do, the overwhelming urge to wear goes away. 
 

Also, it’s not hard to cover up. I was at a party last weekend where literally everyone was diapered under their pants, and I couldn’t tell. Choose cloth-backed diapers like the Abena M2, which is very absorbent and also discreet. Buy a pair of jeans one size larger and wear a pair of briefs or fixing pants over them. Keeps every snug and hides the waistband. Especially in winter with a coat on, it’s perfectly hidden.

Also, who cares if a stranger sees? I bet at least once in the almost 20 years I’ve been into this that someone has spotted my diaper peeking above my waist and or through the leg of my shorts. No one has ever said anything. I even wear to work sometimes, and if a colleague saw, they would never say anything unless they wanted to lose their job.

You’re not doing anything wrong. If you want to wear, do. If you don’t, don’t. You’re not harming yourself. 

[Greybird]

I’m going through a big change from needing nappies for my psyche, to having to wear nappies because I am now incontinent after my prostatectomy. The good news is that all my friends know that I have had this operation and know that one of the consequences is incontinence, so when I turn up with my nappy-bag everybody will probably be very embarrassed but me for whom it will be perfectly normal!  
I have to say that the day I gave  up the binge/purge and just resigned myself to wearing nappies was a great day. I found it exhausting worrying about wether I would get habituated and would nappies loose their attraction/feeling, yes, it is different but I have never lost my feeling for nappies even now that I have to wear them. They still feel great.

[horrorfan]

Just call it like it is. You have an addiction. Like all addictions, this can take over your life to where being functional starts becoming an issue. Set rules, don't let it get out of hand (I almost never wear when I leave home). Consider the pros and cons of this addiction. Some cons I can tell you are that it is bad for your skin, will become more expensive as you put more money into staying diapered fulltime, and you'll have to spend more money on products to keep your skin from breaking down. The only pro I can really think of is that you don't have to wait to use the toilet. Decide for yourself, but think long and hard about whether this is something you can afford to do.

[dlinmsp]

I have been 24/7 for almost 7 years.  I change my diapers on average twice daily.  Every blue moon it will be three times.  I wear ATNs and Size 5 Huggies Little Movers.  This combination has been very effective for me and my cost is only $2 per day, total.  I use baby powder with every change and I wear plastic pants with my diapers.  I thoroughly clean myself at every change so I very seldom ever develop any rash.  I don't see the need to wear expensive ABDL diapers just to piss them away.   

Here is the "when I was your age" BS.  But when I was your age my raging hormones would cause me to want to purge everything once the deed was done.  The amount of time before I would want another diaper varied.  But I knew at a young age that diapers were something I wanted.  I was able to wear diapers in my early teens and I have never looked back.

Am I addicted?  More like conditioned.  Those of us here who are of my generation went through a lot just to find products we could wear and use.  We couldn't go 'on line' to get what we wanted.  We had to buy things face to face or through mail order if we could find it.  And don't worry about finding that "special someone", they are out there.  I'm coming up on 40 years married.

My advice, if diapers are a part of you, embrace it.  You will only get to live once.  Life is too short to wonder 'what if...'.

OP, only you can decide what is right for you.  We, who have traveled ahead of you, can only relate our stories and experiences.  But you can pick and choose 'the best of' and try to avoid "the worst of'.

Choose wisely.

[Nat]

There is nothing wrong with wearing them and trust me, if you switch to them from underwear, you will feel much better and find happiness that way. Wear them 24/7 until you feel you don't want to anymore. There is nothing wrong with wearing diapers. If people find out, they won't say anything. Look at diapers as your new underwear and see it as part of your wardrobe than fetish. 

 

Also not everyone in the ABDL community agree with the 24/7 lifestyle so some might try to say you have mental issues for finding happiness with diapers but diaperphobia also happens in this community too. Not everyone is secured with their fetish so they shame others for their choices they make with diapers because they see it as forcing your fetish in their faces even though they're under your clothes. By their logic, men are shoving their women and panty fetish in peoples faces by wearing them under their clothing and women who choose to wear thong or sexy panties and bra under their clothes. It's no ones business. 

[JWolf72]

I try to limit myself to about 3 times a week, but I frequently want to wear more. I enjoy wetting them, but wouldn't want to need them all the time. So far I've mostly been able to hold myself back with few times of giving in. I have gotten to where I can easily go in my game room while watching tv / gaming, and that makes me worry a little bit. For now though I think I have reached a good balance