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What Does Incontinence Feel Like?

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So what's it feel like? I assume some of you know nothing of when you void, but I'm sure others have some sort of sensation down there when your body is doing its thing. .

Do you feel like you hafta go, and then it just happens? Or do you only notice when you're already going, or wet?

I'm still on the path of achieving bladder incontinence, but, I think it would help me along if I knew what I was supposed to feel (or not feel) or be conscious of what I want to happen and what my body is doing. .

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Even babies often have feeling that they have to go. What you learn as a toddler is not to have those feelings, but what to do when you have them. Then you practice the muscular movements over and over until you can always do it. Like doing something athletic.

So, what you are trying to do is to re-train your mind about what to do when you feel that you need to go, and practice the muscular movements. What you're looking for in terms of success is when you feel the need to go and then just do, because your mind and bladder have been retrained to go in the diaper rather than holding it.

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Its not easy to describe honestly - its like you know you are going when you are going but you cannot do anything about it to stop it...it also depends on how much you are voiding. If it is a little then you may not feel or know anything, if it is a lot then you "know" but you can't stop it.

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The sensations vary from person to person, also from hour to hour. For me there was a decline in sensation from 1976 until late 1991.

Although I had worn just-in-case diapers as needed growing up, I never wet them for no reason or without knowing. My bladder was over-active and small, so if I felt I had to go while on a trip and could not hold out until the next scheduled stop, I just wet my diaper. Sometimes I was diapered in a motel bed and I never wet any of those diapers. If I had to use a toilet in the night, I would get up, unpin one side of my diaper, use the toilet and then ask Mom or my older sister to re-pin my diaper. If it was close to dawn I would just stay up with half my diaper un-pinned inside my vinyl panties.

Then a few weeks past puberty while in my own bed in a temporary home, I wet the bed while sleeping without knowing. Only when I woke up did I feel the wetness on my sheet. Mom had kept waterproof sheets on all our mattresses, even on my oldest sister Penny who was 17 then. So my wetting caused no damage. I stripped my bed as quietly as possible, showered and put on dry panties. Then I waited until Mom was awake to tell her about my wetting. By the way, it was hardly a flood, just enough I could notice and not enough to wake me after I had wet.

From age 12 to 21 that was how it went with my bedwetting. I would be dry when I went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning my diaper would be somewhere between just slightly damp to wet. There never was any pattern. It did not seem to matter what I drank or ate the day before. At age 20 I could tell my bladder capacity when awake was getting smaller. When sitting in a lecture hall it was all I could do to hold it until the end of an hour class. If I had either a longer class, or two classes far apart so using a ladies room between was not practical, I would wear an Attends under my skirt. At least I always knew when I was wetting.

By age 21 during the day I no longer could tell when I needed to pee, or hold it. Think of it as my sphincter opening on its own.

Since then (1985) I have not had any control. It is like my urinary sphincter is stuck in the open position. As urine is formed and goes to my bladder, it immediately dribbles out. I never feel the dribbling, but sometimes can feel my diaper swelling. This is why I try to stick to a schedule, changing while my disposable still has capacity.

Over all these years of being incontinent I have made in-person friendships with a lot of folks who wet. There are people no larger than me who wet even more.

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I sort of agree with what Angela has said and Adrian, my incentinence started when I was 40 I suddenly out of the blue wet my bed, also my partner, my she was pleased.

Anyway this wetting at night became gradually regular and I has wearing diapers, it was saving a lot of hassel with wet bedding and wet girlfriend.

I wet eveyrnight now as a rule whe I'm asleep my bladder never tells my brain to wake up, I never feel like I need to go it just fills my bladder up so far and off it goes.

I have a differnt set of rules for daytime, I would feel the need to pee usually just as I was starting to pee, and no matter what I done, how I tried to stop the flow it would not stop till my bladder was empty.

After many tests and retests a really good urologist, took the time to find out what was actually happening at night my bladder just does whatever it feels like, it contracts that pushes on the muscles at the base of my bladder my brain knows it's started to pee so my bladder keeps pushing till it's empty.

I can feel myself peeing during the daytime it sorta tickles down there and as I wear a shieth and legbag I can feel the tube on my let get warm again my bladder or brain knows I've started to pee so it pushes till it's empty, I used to panic and try and reach the toilet all the time, but when you get there it's usually all over with, so I stopped bothering and just accept it.

Last year I found out that I was type two Diabetic, this seems to have made the nightimr wetting heavier, I'm a great diaper tester, if they don't leak with me before morning they are good diapers, I usr Abena super plus also had good results with Molicare super plus, but I find good cloth diapers hard to beat for nightime, they can take a good wetting when youre lying on youre side and usually don't leak, not something I recommend with disposable's.

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During the night, I don't get any notification to wake, and will wet and/or mess. This is from birth, but during the ages 5 to 9, I would try and control this by almost starving myself or forcing myself to empty before going to bed.

Daytime control is sketchy at best. If I am sitting down and focused on anything - like work, at times I feel myself wetting, but mostly not. Messing is different. I will not know that I need to mess until I stand up and gravity takes over. Other times, I will be sitting down and suddenly feel that my diaper is messy, but have no idea when it happened. However, if I am waiting for someone, and basically doing nothing, if I need to go, I am aware of the need, but experience has taught me to ignore that feeling since there is nothing I can really do to stop it.

Incontinence can be both a gift and an annoyance. Yes, I don't look my chronological age, and that is due to a very healthy digestive system. I look as if I am only about 20 odd. The annoyance is in business. If i am in a meeting etc, and happen to stand up, if I haven't messed my diaper earlier in the day / previous night it is very likely that my bowels will cut loose then.

To those who wish incontinence, let me tell you from 40+ years of experience of being incontinent. You are forever in a situation where you could fill your pants at any moment / leak and totally embarrass yourself. It is extremely difficult to be in control of a business transaction when everyone in the room is aware that you just filled your pants just like the babies in the day-care center.

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for me I dont know that i have to go unit its already coming out or im already wet. unless im sitting down in such away that i can feel pressure from my bladder just before it releases. my problem is nerv damage from the bladder to my head. so my mind is not getting the info it needs in order to do the right thing. so they call it reflex. my bladder under a reflex releases in order to not have discomfort or damage to its self or the kidneys.

next why would you want to become incont. it sucks. never knowing your wetting until you are wet. and having to check your self every couple mins to make sure your not leaking. also having to find places to change in public, and the worries of getting a diaper rash. in the summer time it sucks more as heat and sweat cause rash. and the winter time sucks. warm pee gets cold fast when your out in the cold.

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Ever not empty out properly after using the bathroom, get your pants back up, and then walk away and some that was left in comes out? I'm pretty sure most people have. I can't imagine that many people find it very exciting either, even people who fetishize that sort of thing.

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Guest Wetnmessy247

It feels like heaven.

Except, "feel" is a reltive term especially when you can't "feel" incontinence.

It just happens.

You don't feel yourself peeing into your diaper and you don't feel the poo slipping out into your diaper.

But you DO feel the aftermath, a warm and messy/wet diaper.

That's the physical aspect.

MENTALLY? Mentall, you feel euphoria and a sense of innocence mixed with security. Remember when you were real young and diapered, and you got to sniggle up in a warm bed surrounded bu stuffed animals, drinking a warm bottle in a warm didy?

Yea. You feel...safe....when incontinent.

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@WallaWalla: Wow, girls do that, too? I kinda thought it was a penis-exclusive phenomenon, like that one long-ass curly hair that suddenly appears in the middle of the shaft. (I'm kidding, really. My Manscaping is more than a hobby, it's a point of pride. So, yeah, that doesn't happen to me.)

I've already been doing 24/7 for years, I just haven't managed to give up my control. I'm fully aware that there's no going back, and that this is a permanent thing. Rashes, though I don't get them, aren't a bother to me. I assume, even if I were to lose enough control to warrant a medical need for diapers, I would still feel the process happening that I would be able to accurately gauge my level of wetness in a timely manner.

As for the changing in public. . . I don't mind it now if I'm in general public places, and especially if I'm out of town. I do experience some level of changing anxiety while at work, or around friends and family. However, just like with public places, I've found that people don't pay much attention to what others are doing, even if its in their own bathroom. I'm hyper-observant, to a fair degree, and thus, it tends to manifest itself in the form of paranoia that comes with the change-time anxiety. Again, I know the Changing Anxiety comes with the territory. Seasons are seasons -- I don't seem to get so hot that I don't wanna wear a diaper. In fact, it's been 70s and 80s here, and it doesn't bother me to be diapered. I LOVE Winter!

@BK, I see your point. I'm a typical yin-and-yang; while I am mostly Little, my other half is dominant, assertive and cocky. I can see where bowel incontinence could be a Career Killer.

@WNM247: *sigh* Really? Did you read any of the above replies? If so, what did you comprehend? While both Angela and Adrian offered a response, each was true to their experiences and perspectives on the situation, particularly since both are rather social, and (seemingly) aren't afraid to live their lives, in diapers. Others offered up caveats and worst-case-scenarios; considerate of the permanence factor. Nearly all of the replies contained factual content, a shared experience, and a warning. But, there's something I didn't see in any of the responses: "omg", "so much fun", ". . heaven", "lmfaoroflpmp". Well, wait, I did see the 'pmp' part. . . but it wasn't positive!

This was intended to be a productive conversation, and right now, you're fucking with my intent. Hush.

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@WallaWalla: Wow, girls do that, too?

I'm almost positive it happens to everybody.

I assume, even if I were to lose enough control to warrant a medical need for diapers,

I know I've said this before, and I have a feeling that I'm being a buzzkill to a lot of people. But, based on my experience in medicine, the number of ambulatory people that wear honest to goodness adult diapers(as opposed to pull-ups or a pad) throughout the majority of their waking hours is extremely small. The thing with incontinence is that it is hardly ever an 'all or nothing' sort of a thing. People with neurological disorders or nerve damage resultant in incontinence can usually keep the amount of urine voided when they do have accidents to such a small volume that diapers simply aren't necessary(at least, most of the time). Most congenital defects and cases where incontinence is caused by trauma are easily repaired with non-invasive surgeries as well.

Diapers are most often used as a temporary solution until a more permanent treatment/cure can be established, or as something that people use when they are concerned that they will not be able to get to a bathroom in a convenient manner.

Diapers in the long-term are most often employed in an institutional setting like a nursing home or an end-of-life scenario. Even then, they are often times they are used when they shouldn't be on account of issues with understaffing and flat-out mismanagement. Heck, even a lot of hospitals these days are entirely diaperless.

I would still feel the process happening that I would be able to accurately gauge my level of wetness in a timely manner.

It would depend on what was causing the incontinence. Something to bear in mind on this topic is that incontinence is a symptom, not a disease itself(on that same note, I've never ran across a single piece of medical literature since the advent of electronic imaging which diagnosed idiopathic incontinence). In the case of reflex and/or urge incontinence, the bladder wall and urinary sphincter will simply flex without you telling them to. Essentially, it would feel like it does to pee now, you would even feel the internal movements happening, you just wouldn't be able to stop it. In the case of stress incontinence on the other hand, it would feel a lot like it does when you leak urine after using the bathroom. Take a big stretch and a little just comes out next thing you know. Lifting something heavy? You get the idea. Likewise with situations where the urinary sphincter is completely compromised(very common cause of this in modern times is vaginal fistula after childbirth or a hysterectomy), something just keeps dripping out from between your legs and there just isn't anything there to stop it.

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For me, it varies.

Sometimes I have no idea when I urinate, and I check my diaper only to find that I'm wet. AKA, "When did that happen?"

Other times (usually when I'm expecting to be wet shortly, such as when I'm drinking water) I'll feel myself urinating and/or feel my diaper become wet. I suppose this is because the expectation of a wet diaper shortly makes me conscious to the actual happening, or something.

In either situation I can't really stop "going", even when I'd like to.

With poop it's slightly different. I can feel myself going most of the time, but I usually can't stop it. There are times where I can "control" it, but usually these times are because of some level of constipation instead of true control. I don't really know my exact level of fecal control, but to be truthful, fecal continence or lack thereof is sort of a "I don't really care" thing for me. I'm urinary incontinent anyway, and would also wear diapers 24/7 incontinent or not.

~ moogle

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WallaWalla:

There are millions of adults wearing diapers to be able to live an active lifestyle with incontinence. I know in my case I “could” get out of diapers during the day if I wanted to be running for the restroom every half hour or constantly changing pads. It’s not realistic. And as I told my doctor: There is no way I can see myself walking around with a cath in and a bag of piss strapped to my leg. How is that better than a diaper? Especially today when we have super-absorbent yet discreetly thin diapers.

You might not see it as those of us in diapers have generally exhausted medical options and don't keep going back to the doctors to be told there's still nothing that can be done. We just change and go on with our day.

Plus it's only been the last decade or so that the pull-up products have been gaining popularity - mainly for aging baby boomers and men with prostate issues.

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I must admit that I'm very curious as to the underlying causes of the incontinence reported by other members here. However, I have a feeling that I am walking on thin ice already as it is. I will digress from these topics in the future. :closedeyes:

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I must admit that I'm very curious as to the underlying causes of the incontinence reported by other members here. However, I have a feeling that I am walking on thin ice already as it is. I will digress from these topics in the future. :closedeyes:

Nah, not on thin ice. Those of us who NEED (as well as love) diapers just get touchy about not being counted among the incontinence world.

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I always feel "the urge," but my ability to hold it is hit or miss. Sometimes I can manage to keep everything at bay long enough to get to a toilet, but often if I can't get there within about a minute it's going into my diaper. I had been having leakage after peeing for about a year before my surgery (like enough to leave a noticeable wet spot in my undies), but ever since I haven't had much luck at all with control. Actually, for the first couple of weeks after surgery, while I still had the stents in my ureters, I had no control at all and didn't feel it until it was coming out. As far as messing goes, it's pretty much the same story. Either I make it or I don't. It took awhile after surgery, but I finally got my bowels back on "schedule," that is, I usually go in the morning and at night. But even then it may hit too fast to hold.

My worst incident so far hit me just a few nights ago, actually. I didn't even feel the urge at all until I was messing. It was mostly liquid, and resulted in my first "blowout." However, I'm still happier this way. I mean, I had colostomy bag blowouts usually every couple of months, and small leaks every few days. This was the first comparable incident in 7 months since my surgery, and thankfully I was at home when it hit.

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Nah, not on thin ice. Those of us who NEED (as well as love) diapers just get touchy about not being counted among the incontinence world.

DDi, what do you mean by 'not being counted'?

WWalla, you're fine. They put up with me ( or at least don't say much when I spout off - ) so I think you're alright! I think a discussion of the various underlying causes would be a great topic. --Not just for those of us who are curious, but being able to talk about these kinds of things makes this all just a little bit earlier. Besides, I totally dig the medical topics 'cuz we get to use the medi-lingo-jargon, which is pretty fun.

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DDi, what do you mean by 'not being counted'?

Until recently the only incontinence ads you saw were 80 year old women... and now with the push towards pull-ups and OAB medications people with functional incontinence who need diapers to live a normal life are getting pushed further and further into the shadows. I don't like it. My local drugstore doesn't even carry any briefs anymore, just a dozen kinds of pull-ups. And the "support" groups are so anti-diaper anyone who wears a diaper is instantly disregarded as 'just an ab.'

Young, active people who wear diapers need respect too :)

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people under 70 wearing diapers is a myth :whistling:

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people under 70 wearing diapers is a myth :whistling:

What a strange statement to make by a self-proclaimed Diaper Lover in the Incontinence forum!

Is this opinion based on any personal experience with the incontinence community anywhere?

Is this post saying that all of us who have freely shared our years of experience with actual urinary disease have been writing fantasy?

Does this poster have the only knowledge of the various treatment and management options for incontinence?

Has this poster read any of the milestone books about the treatment of incontinence, especially Cheryle Gartley's "Managing Incontinence"?

If the poster has such a firmly fixed disbelief in the experience of such a large proportion of fellow DD members, why did he join and then stick around for 3 years?

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Angela, I think Zpeed was kidding and/or mocking the mindset that many people outside of the community have, that "only old people wear diapers!".

~ moogle

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My bladder gives no warning, or indicative feelings that I have to go. When i need to poop I usually feel like I'm already pooping in my diapers. Lately I've been having more problems with fecal incontinence. Yesterday I sneezed and absolutely filled my already soaked diapers. That's a first! A few evenings ago I made a grunting sound like a caveman and leaked poop into my diaper. There's something very special about the feel of wet diapers beneath plastic pants rubbing against my thighs that I love, but I love it just as much as when the diaper is dry.

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What a strange statement to make by a self-proclaimed Diaper Lover in the Incontinence forum!

Is this opinion based on any personal experience with the incontinence community anywhere?

Is this post saying that all of us who have freely shared our years of experience with actual urinary disease have been writing fantasy?

Does this poster have the only knowledge of the various treatment and management options for incontinence?

Has this poster read any of the milestone books about the treatment of incontinence, especially Cheryle Gartley's "Managing Incontinence"?

If the poster has such a firmly fixed disbelief in the experience of such a large proportion of fellow DD members, why did he join and then stick around for 3 years?

It's a joke... :glare:

Interesting thread though.

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For me, it feels like I have to pee nearly all the time. Sometime I'll trickle, sometimes I'll just cut loose. But usually I'll pee every 20-30 minutes. Bladder spasms feel like a flutter beneath your stomach. Sometimes I'll pee when they are happening. Usually I can feel myself peeing and or feel the urine leak out.

I'll also have orgasmic contractions without warning. Not a great as is sound. Yes, I will sometimes ejaculate or even leake seminal fluid. All it all it is very annoying.

Like right now, I have a very strong urge to pee even though I know I don't have to. I'm having both bladder spasms and random orgasmic contractions and I'm leaking - probably both urine and some seminal fluid.

In other words, it freaking sucks so I'm sharing my misery.

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I think incontinence feels different for most people.

In my case it is a result of a motorcycle accident and I have what is called nuerogenic bladder and partial bowel, and that means I dribble urine with no sensation that I am leaking at all. Depending on how much I drink depends on how much/fast I leak. I think it is really wierd, because no matter how much I squeeze my muscles it has no affect on my leakage.

As far as how it feels well, it feels like nothing. Except for making sure I monitor how damp my diaper is, there isn't much else to it. Now when I was told I had to wear diapers (at the age of 27) I was both mad, and extremely embarrassed, that was until I had my first accident in public, then I couldn't be caught without wearing one.

It was simple with me, I am more affraid of having another accident, then I am of wearing a diaper.

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