nonny

Cloth diapers, pins and plastic pants. For most of my diaper years they were picked up dirty and dropped off clean by the Stork Diaper Service. My two sisters and I are all 16 months apart (I’m the middle one) so there were a lot of diapers around for a while. We each had a laundry hamper in our room for years afterwards that had been our diaper pail when we were babies, with the Stork logo embossed on the lid. Theirs were pink and mine was blue. I remember realizing what the logo was as as a much older kid and being really embarrassed. Most babies were still cloth diapered when I start being old enough to remember. There were still lots of diapers flapping on clotheslines on my way home from school. The Pampers ads of the time were trying to get people to switch from cloth: ‘Keeps him dry, even after he wets.” i don’t have a single memory of me or my younger sister still being in diapers. I do have a pair of diaper pins I wore many times as a baby.

My favourite bath toy in my preschool years was a plastic submarine that would fill up if you squeezed it underwater, and then you could squirt water with it. When I was a little older we had endless games we would play with a set of coloured wooden blocks called Cuisinaire Rods. Older still, another vote for Hot Wheels. There's a 'little' part of me that wants back an orange plastic riding tractor I was on constantly when I was 2 and up. There's a picture of me on it, with the bulge of a cloth diaper under my shorts. I have a naughty fascination with exactly what it felt like to be bouncing in a Jolly Jumper or sitting on a riding toy in a poopy diaper.

Love your three-year-old memory. ? I’m no expert but it sounds psychological rather than physical. What works for me (on the rare and special occasions when I do it) is also what feels the best. So here it Is, in the hope it gives someone some enjoyment. I wait until I have a normal, genuine need to go (and time to enjoy it). Nothing artificial involved at all. I push just a little, until it’s almost ready to happen. I might need to gently do that more than once to get to just the right point. And then I become, in my mind, a little boy who can’t help it. I don’t push, and I don’t do anything to stop it happening. I just feel all the sensations, curiously and without judgement, as it comes out in my diaper or my pants all on its own, like it did when I was a toddler. It feels fantastic happening in slow-motion, especially as it meets the resistance of the seat of my pants and nestles between my butt cheeks... or passes the point where it can, and spreads pleasurably across my bottom. I can’t imagine not liking this as a baby. It’s so comforting and rice.

Speaking as a parent, I don’t really understand how anyone can say there’s such a thing as a diaper cover that conceals the poopy diaper smell. We used good quality cloth diapers and plastic pants, and after the solid food stage started, often we would know from a room or two away when whoever was currently in diapers had just “done it.” I remember being at a kitchen party at a friend’s house, with their year old son playing happily on the floor giving no sign or sound of anything. And then every head in the room turning, with eyes meeting and noses wrinkling in the amused realization of what had happened under him in his pants. I can’t speak to bigger steps like truly sealing scuba gear, or Nullo… but apart from that, if you believe people don’t know what’s happened you’ve probably hardly ever looked after a baby, or are very naïve.

I spent seven years as a parent of kids in cloth diapers. It seems odd now to look back and remember that through all those years it was the most ordinary thing to be carrying home a poopy cloth diaper and sometimes soiled baby clothes or wet/poopy undies in a plastic bag in the diaper bag. We would give them a good rinse if it all possible when doing a dirty diaper change, and seal the bag. I don’t remember ever feeling anxious about the smell. A closed plastic bag dealt with it, and carrying around wet and poopy diapers was just part of life in those years. I can’t picture doing this as an adult who’s in diapers for fun... I’ve never even changed away from home. (If I genuinely needed to be in diapers, I would certainly choose cloth, and I guess I would have to figure it all out again.)

I was 13. Wiggling around in my bed and holding myself while desperate to pee, I accidentally gave myself really good feelings, followed them past the point of no return and came helplessly in my pyjamas. I thought I’d wet myself like when I was younger as that amazing feeling happened… iIt should have been shameful, but confusingly but irresistibly, that feeling of losing control was so good it was worth it. I did it again and again over the next few days, finishing each time with my body trembling with pleasure. I quickly realized that it wasn’t pee — but an erotic link with all my early memories of having a helpless accident was made. It was such an embarrassing subject to suddenly be obsessed with. I was instantly thinking about trying it for real. It was just a few more days until I had the time and privacy. I filled up my bladder to near bursting and put myself in two snug pairs of underwear to simulate a diaper. I thought about what it must be like to be a baby and have no control. The next time the need to pee come on I just didn’t stop it… and I wet all over myself and my makeshift diaper in a thrilling, helpless warm flood like the little baby I used to be. It felt glorious and freeing, and totally hot — I immediately pleasured myself twice in a more grown up way in my peed pants — and I’ve often been a wet baby or little boy in my underwear, makeshift diapers or real diapers ever since.

In my experience, babies hardly ever cry, whine, squirm, or get uncomfortable when they’ve wet or pooped. As a kid, I always assumed it must feel awful to do it in your pants and not be able to help it, and that they quickly squirmed and cried to be changed. But I think believing it’s gross mostly came from my own toilet training, when that’s what we’re taught. Lots of experience with babies says they’re just fine with it. Some babies will be uncomfortable because they need to poop, or as they’re straining to poop. But most are perfectly okay with it in their diaper afterwards, unless they have a rash. Wetting, they barely notice, or just pause briefly to feel happen. I have to assume it feels quite nice. And being wet is just the completely normal state to a baby...

I would just say as a balancing opinion to ppdude’s, don’t get caught, and don’t expect it to go well if you do. This is not something most people will ever be comfortable with, it will never become normal for most people, and no one will ever forget what they know. That said, have fun!

This was my first experiment too, @jacob, @deewet and @BabyMePlease. I’d been wetting my pants with a lot of pleasure since I was 13, sometimes while imagining I was back as a baby in diapers. I gradually got curious about the poop part too, though it started out seeming soooo embarrassing and nasty to have done that in my pants even as a baby. But I couldn’t help wondering what it felt like. Holding a few layers of folded toilet paper under my bum and pooping in it was the first thing I tried. It felt so taboo doing that. It was a big surprise that it felt so nice to have the warm poop flatten and start to spread across my bum. This led in a couple of quick steps to doing it in my underwear, lined with toilet paper for protection, a story I’ve told here. I was inspired by and imitating a little year old cousin who I watched poop in her diaper right in front of me, and then toddle unsteadily and sit in it. I knew I must have done the same many times when I was her age, and somehow I just had to try it. My underwear were the simplest makeshift diapers I had access to for a while after that.

13. It started with wanting to wet my pants like a little boy. I hadn’t thought about diapers in years before that and certainly never about wearing them. But no-one gets to wet their pants as often as a baby, so being in diapers was suddenly Totally Fascinating.

I don’t remember anything about my toilet training, and it was all done when I was about two years old. I can understand why it was so early, I’m the middle of three kids, VERY close in age, and we were all in diapers at once for a while. My mom used a wringer washer for all those diapers and baby clothes, and then it was just too much and they had a diaper service. Her life must’ve been a stinky and soggy mess for those years, with someone always needing to be taken to the bathroom or changed. I grew up with an exaggerated shyness about bathroom needs and a lot of shame about my accidents. No one was mean to me when I wet, and I was never punished for it. But for such a small normal childhood thing, being wet and not wanting to be found out sure dominates my bad memories. As for pooping my pants, it must’ve happened and I’ve blocked it out completely. A bunch of my diaper play is about being cared for and accepted and loved as these normal things happen, which maybe I didn’t get enough of at the time.

Hi @Newbee. Just do it with curiosity — not to be anything in particular but just to see how you feel about it. I think it would be quite amazing If anyone could put themselves in a diaper for the first time since early childhood and just find it an ordinary thing.

I’d been playing with these feelings for over 15 years before I first heard the terms AB and DL, and they don’t fit me very well. This started for me (age 13) with wanting to wet my pants like a little boy. And I did. I would make up little scenarios and picture being as little as 2 or 3 or as old as my real age as I did it. Those wet games grew to sometimes include being a baby in diapers, including diaper pins I found, towels, receiving blankets, pillowcases or T-shirts and a whole lot of pee — because no-one gets to wet their pants more freely or more often than a baby. I didn't remember anything about my diaper years and wanted so much to know what it felt like. From the start I also tried what can only be called solo watersports in the bathtub. Sometimes I would do that in a way that was totally adult and erotic. The next time, I might lie on my back and pee all over myself while imagining being a baby on the change table. By a couple of years into all this I was much deeper into what my diaper stage was like, and (blush) sometimes it wasn’t just pee. Pooping myself like a little baby and exploring all the feelings was pretty much the most exciting, daring thing I had ever done. But there wasn’t really any other part of being a baby again that attracted me. OK, over time being nursed at the breast, especially as I helplessly wet, was also really appealing, but just because it seemed so comforting and nice. It wasn’t a fetish to me in the way the rest of it definitely was. Through all of this I also had lots of actual-age fetish fantasies like being caught in a situation with a girl where we were both desperate and ended up having an accident in front of each other, and bonded forever. Or, it somehow happened that a girl completely wet her pants all over my lap. (A boy can dream.) The wetting became foreplay. The common denominator is definitely ‘situations in which I or someone else helplessly or erotically pees.’ It keeps evolving... Lately I’ll sometimes wear diapers just for comfort. I think it would feel and look appealing to be in onesies and shortalls. So, hmm, there are elements of DL and AB. I like the term “ageplay” best out of the vocabulary I've heard — a word I’ve only known for a few years. All the labels are useful and a bit too limited, and I’m (quite happily) a little bit complicated...

I've 'slept like a baby' in my poopy diaper a very small number of times, when everything was just right. A cosy, well-formed poop held snugly against me, a special desire to enjoy those ultimate babyish feelings for a little longer, extra time in the morning. Done that way it's been really nice. Until I became a dad I thought that babies often have a poopy diaper at night, and wake up in one in the morning, and 'sleeping while messy' is one of those definitive baby experiences. It's not really like that. After the earliest newborn stage, which is a heart-opening, mind-bending blur of sleep, feeding, wetting, crying, spit-up, cuddles and poop, babies almost never poop in their sleep. During or just after a night feeding: lots. Toddlers, in their beds, within a few minutes after waking (it might even be the reason they wake): lots. But among real chronological age babies, there isn't a whole lot of 'sleeping while messy'. Which is a good thing, because on top of how very messy that can become after rolling around in it for a while, it's the poop and pee that mix over time to cause a nasty diaper rash.

Sometimes pooping my diapers or pants feels just exactly right. For me that means… a poop that's firm enough to come out very slowly, without any pushing at all, prolonging the sensations of being a little boy having an accident to the maximum. It's big enough to tent out the seat of my pants at first, pressing itself back against me in childishly familiar and comforting ways. It feels good with every little movement. It's just soft enough to gradually mold itself to my butt cheeks and bottom as it slowly flattens and spreads in good feeling places in my diaper from the resistance of my clothes. Fully out in my pants, it makes my legs bow out just slightly as I walk, in a way a parent of a toddler would recognize (in case the amusingly suspicious babyish bulge back there and telltale aroma were not enough). It's firm enough to stay cosily formed against me as I sit in it. It doesn't make much of a mess. I had a perfect one like this a few months ago. Walking home from a late evening errand, I became a two or three-year-old little boy who still poops in my pants sometimes. In the last block and a half to my house I just felt it happen with every step like I must have often done as a toddler. As I got to my door, my pants were full. I just love the feeling and I stayed that way, a little boy who needs to be changed, for a good long time.

This is how it all started for me: with wanting to wet my pants like a little boy having an accident. I did it so many times, and still play that way sometimes. I hope you've had a chance to do more of it, @BowsAndRibbons.

Thanks for sharing this here @mamabug. I relate so intensely to the shame part of this as a teenager (pre-Internet in my case), and the gradual relief of shedding the shame into non-aloneness, that the 'mommy' (rather than AB or DL) side of your story feels easy to accept and hear. We are all in this strange, damp, comforting boat together, whatever our individual variations. It doesn't seem any easier to me to tell someone you want to put them in diapers, see them in diapers, change their diapers, than the other way around. I've still never told a partner face-to-face all of what I like (which is no different than what a lot of people here like). So I'm still not through all the layers of dealing with "being a weirdo that is into diapers." (Actually for me it started with wanting to wet my pants like a not-quite-potty-trained little boy.)

At 13 I accidentally learned how to masturbate by wiggling around on my tummy in bed tying to hold it in when I desperately needed to pee. I followed the feelings, had my first orgasm in helpless waves that made a wet spot under me in the front of my pyjamas … and thought I’d lost control and wet myself like a little child. It was embarrassing to be wet, but it all felt soooo good that I played this new self-pleasuring game again and again. All of sudden being on the edge of losing control and then having an accident became really exciting to think about. And though I quickly realized the wet spots in my pants and bed weren't pee I started to think about my accidents as a child in a whole new way. What had been shameful became … undeniably, intensely erotic. What would it be like to completely pee my pants, like I sometimes used to? Within a very short time I tried it. The first time I did it I put on two snug pairs of underwear, made myself desperate to pee, sat on the toilet and, to let go, imagined being a baby again who couldn’t help it. A baby in … diapers. It felt absolutely incredible, the release and my warm pee streaming all over me and all through those underwear just like I imagined doing as a baby. I don’t think I’d ever thought about being back in diapers before that week. I’ve been playing with those thoughts and feelings ever since.

This was a pattern of most of the toddlers I’ve lived with. Whenever else they did it they would usually start their day with a morning poop in bed in their overnight diapers and PJs a few minutes after waking. Being into ageplay at times, I’ve tried wearing diapers to bed, becoming a wet little boy before I fall asleep, and a poopy one on waking. Cozily in bed under the covers is a nice way to do it. I’ve also tried being a 2 or 3 year old little boy who is quietly unsure about the potty and ‘saves it for my naptime diaper.’

This. It’s so simple. Treat everyone else like a human being, not an object to use, and almost every question of how to act is resolved.

I learned how to fold diapers from Dr. Spock. And how long I’d probably worn them, and how often my mom had needed to change mine. I hadn’t known any of this until then. There was something magically “right” and unreasonably exciting about knowing the comforting, childish bulge of a makeshift diaper in my pants was folded just like the ones I needed as a baby. It was even better when I happened on an old pair of diaper pins that had almost certainly held my sisters’ and my diapers on us many times. What I really wanted to know was what it had felt like to use them. To wet like a baby, and be wet, like all the real babies who were dressed the same way right now. I pictured all the places I would have done it — my bed, my high chair, my mother’s lap, anywhere. Dr. Spock told me I probably wasn’t bothered by being wet, unless I leaked and got cold. Could that really be true? I had no memories of my diaper years, or toilet training (right around age 2) but it had sure left me with the certainty that being wet was dirty, shameful and gross. (The other thing I had needed my diapers for was too much to imagine at this point.) I was also reading Pampers ads in magazines that tried to make cloth diapers seem primitive and uncomfortable. “Of course when you were a baby they didn’t have diapers like Pampers. So when you wet, you stayed wet, until somebody changed you.” “A drier baby’s more comfortable.” So why did I want to be a wet baby, in bulky cloth diapers, so much? Or a little boy in wet pants? (My parents started out as very occasional spankers and moved in the direction of never. I think they regretted that they’d ever done it. But we were of prime spanking age in the late 60s and a lot of things had changed.)

Did anyone else like to secretly read the toilet training chapters of your parents’ baby care books as a kid? And/or the parts about accidents, and bedwetting, and diapers....? Did you ever look up words related to wetting and diapers in the dictionary, and the library catalogue? Find all the diaper-related ads in catalogues, grocery store flyers and magazines? Walk down the diaper aisle at the store at every opportunity? Remember every single mention of someone being desperate, or needing their diaper changed, or ‘having an accident’ in every story you ever read and every conversation you heard? What else did you do like this? Here's how some of it started for me. About 5 seconds into puberty I accidentally gave myself some very good feelings wriggling around trying to hold it in when I was desperate to pee. I didn’t have an accident or anything, but suddenly I was really aroused by imagining having one. Holding until I couldn’t, and helplessly wetting my pants or bed like I often had as a younger kid. Memories came ‘flooding back,’ and with them a sudden bunch of questions I’d never thought about before. How old was I when I was potty trained? What was it like for my parents when I was not-quite-potty-trained? Did I really just have accidents everywhere for a while? What must it feel like to be in diapers? Being nerdy and bookish and genuinely curious, I found my parents’ copy of Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care. Along with learning a few basic facts about my diaper years, I quickly discovered that reading about all this gave me lots of tingly feelings and urges about doing it. Some of my earliest pee play consisted of wearing makeshift diapers (or just my pyjamas or pants), making myself desperate and literally wetting myself like a baby to the words and sentences in that book that made me feel that way. Not long afterwards, I was doing the same to ads for Pampers and plastic baby pants in my parents’ magazines. I kind of discovered ageplay this way, imagining being the babies in the ads as I really did what babies do in their diapers. Or I’d be a 2 or 3 or 4 year old in the Dr. Spock chapter, failing potty training in my diapers or pants in any of a hundred ways… Forgetting to go and doing it where I sat... Not being able to hold it any more in a car or a store... Hurrying to the bathroom clutching myself a minute too late, and feeling it running all down my pantlegs on the way. Which all felt so freeing, exciting and good that I still have favourite sentences from that chapter and some of those ads memorized.

One of the surprises of parenthood is that after the very earliest newborn days … even babies almost never poop themselves in their sleep. In bed, just after waking up: a whole lot. When they're supposed to be falling asleep at naptime: oh yes. But not when they're asleep. So it may be harder than you expect.