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Alas, our beloved Maple Leafs (not "leaves"...) were unable to dispatch with the Lightning in game 6, so there will be a game 7, the stress of which will undoubtedly take at least a couple of lives in Toronto, because anyone who's seen the Leafs make it past round 1 in the playoffs is old enough to have a heart condition. We love losing game 7's over here. I predict it will go to overtime tied 4-4. Toronto will have had a 4-1 lead at the end of the second period. And then... God, I hope we win it. Although my liver is rooting for Tampa. A second round of playoff hockey will necessitate more mid-week drinking than I generally engage in. A death in the family has necessitated unexpected travel. I will be sharing a hotel room with my brother for at least part of it... this time, I actually BOOKED myself a room, my own room, as I generally prefer it, because it makes wearing diapers so much less complicated. But then my uncle, who is from the area where we will be staying, went into the hotel personally, to do an unnecessary, but very nice thing... he opted to pay for our rooms. So, my brother and I are now sharing one, because I can't put it upon my uncle to pay for a separate room for me, just so I can lounge about in nappies, and there's no insisting I pay for it myself, he feels he has to do this for some reason. Sigh. I bought a couple of new shirts in preparation for the trip, and last night my wife asked me to show them to her. I was wearing a Rearz Alpaca and a t-shirt at the time. I pulled them out of a bag and showed her, but that wasn't what she wanted - she wanted me to put them on. I obliged her - it probably wasn't a bad idea anyway. I'm notorious for just buying things in my size and not trying them on. Whereas her process is to try a dozen things on, and buy none of them. Usually, not trying things on works out, but every now and then, it doesn't. Although now that I'm in diapers, I ALWAYS try pants on. My size in a "slim fit" versus a "casual fit" can make the difference between looking like I'm wearing leggings over a pull-up, versus middle-aged frumpy. The latter is my goal. Shirts are less critical. Still, I obliged her. I pulled one shirt on, straightened the collar, and buttoned it up, did a turn, then switched over to the other shirt. She watched with evaluating eyes. I said: "So, what do you think? Did I choose wisely?" Her response: "If they made a baby edition of GQ, you look like you should be on the cover."

Yep, Santa's beard turns yellow when you wet.

XVI If you’ve ever had a feeling that jolted you awake like someone was watching you, this was similar. Instead of being rudely awakened however, my eyes opened to see Auntie Dana was standing next to me, holding Amelia. They both looked down with smiles. My diaper felt heavy and wet, so I must have been continuing my seemingly timeless habit of wetting in my sleep. “Wake up Princess, we’ve got a few things to take care of,” she said in a sweet voice, running her hand gently through my hair, before pulling back the blanket. “But first……..cllllleeeeeeean DIAPEY!” she shouted playfully. “I dwy Auntie,” I teased. “Sshhh sshhh Princess, you were wet before I put you down, are you saying that your diapey got magically dry in the time you were sleeping? Were you visited by the clean diaper fairy?” she teased. “Uh-huh” I nodded. “Well, let’s just see then how good of a job that diaper fairy did then, shall we?” She pulled back the blanket, and lifted my skirt; the present state of the diaper left no illusions of whether or not it was wet or not. “Tsk tsk tsk, that darn diaper fairy didn’t do that great of a job, did she? Well, that’s what little girls have their Aunties for,” she chuckled. “Jac-wyn weawwy wet Mommy,” Amelia told her mom. “Yes she is, but you aren’t one to talk little girl, you had a pretty big pee pee diaper too,” she teased. Dana grabbed the changing pad that had been downstairs, and laid it on the floor next to the couch. “Why don’t you come down here real quick,” she told me, patting the floor. Amelia stood guard next to her Mom. I did as I was instructed, and laid down, and Dana performed an expertly-efficient diaper change, teasing me about my wet panties, and blowing rasberries on my tummy as she cleaned me up. She’d just finished cleaning me, and then needed one more thing. “Amelia, can you beeee a biiiig help and grab Mommy a diaper out of Jac-y’s diaper bag?” she pointed to the bag sitting near the couch. “Mmm-hmmm Mommy,” Amelia went over and rifled through my bag (it was still weird to consider it *my diaper bag* with *my diapers* in there, but things were the way they were), grabbed a diaper and handed it to Auntie Dana. “Thanks honey, You. Are. Such. A. BIG HELPER!!!” she kissed Amelia on the head, before turning to me, “Okay Princess, let’s get this new diaper on you and make you…all cleeeean!” she told me in a cheery sweet voice. She unfolded it, and before I could get my butt lifted up, she grabbed my ankles in one fell swoop, popped my butt up, and slid the diaper in underneath with the other, and then taped up the rest. She was like the Superwoman of diaper changes; I was completely blown away. The little things, you know? She helped me up, and pulled my leggings up before giving me a soft pat on my bottom. “There we go Princess, all clean and dry!” “We’ve got to go get Natalie from school; I’ve got you both some drinks to have on the way over there,” she told us. Auntie Dana went in to the kitchen, re-emerging with a baby bottle for me and a sippy cup for Amelia. My eyes must have gone kind of big; I was lower in stature now than Amelia; how the tables had turned! “Jac-y, I get big giwl cup ‘cause I’m not a baby,” Amelia told me rather matter-of factly. “Maybe you get big giwl cup someday too.” “Now now Amelia, no need to tease the baby, she’ll grow up to be a big girl too, just like you are!” “So big you still poop your pants,” I thought to myself, not bothering to think out loud. I’d had fun today, sure, but it was still a little humiliating to be at a level lower than a toddler, and to be teased to boot! What was this coming to? I thought better of saying anything; this was what it was, even if there was cringe-worthy bad to go with the supposed benefits of this treatment. “Well girls, let’s go out to the car,” she told us, grabbing the diaper bag and heading out. It wasn’t too long of a ride, at least I didn’t think so, but I guess with two kids in diapers, it’s better to be safe than sorry. She put Amelia in her car seat, and then looked at me, “Well Princess, you’re probably big enough today that you can sit here in a big kid seat,” she told me. “Buuut Mommmy, Jac-y baby! She needs to be in baby seat!” Amelia whined. “Well, that’s just the way it is; I’m sure Jac-y’s Mommy will be bringing something more age-appropriate when she comes next,” Auntie Dana was finishing my seatbelt and buckling me in with a telltale *click*. Amelia was still mad and whining, and when Auntie Dana closed my door to walk to hers, I looked over and stuck my tongue out at Amelia. Pay back for the baby comment with the cups, I surmised. It’s the little things, you know? “Mawww-meeeee! Jac-y’s makin’ faces at meeee!!!” Amelia whined. I was mouth deep in a bottle by this time, and it must not have set Auntie Dana’s BS detector off. “C’mon honey, look at Jac-y, she’s just drinking her bottle like a sweet little Princess, maybe you could learn a thing or two from her!” Amelia just gave me a pouty look. “Bad baby,” she muttered. Auntie Dana must have had supersonic hearing, because she turned around and shot Amelia a nasty glare. “Young lady, you need to be nice to the baby,” she told her, “not only are you lying, but you also are being mean, and mean is not acceptable in our house.” Amelia blushed, “Sowwy Mommy, sowwy Jacwyn.” “It’s otay ‘Melia,” I told her, taking another drink out of my bottle. The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful. Auntie Dana put on a CD with Disney songs, much to Amelia’s delight. I was pretty non-plussed; even though I technically had assumed the baby role, my mind wasn’t quite there yet. I didn’t want to complain; I’d never really liked much of what Disney had to offer, so I just silently stared out the window, looking at the scenic beauty of the area, drinking on my bottle. Unfortunately for my diaper, pee had been trickling out here and there. It wasn’t terribly wet, but it definitely wasn’t dry anymore either. I knew I had a long road ahead, and my bladder and everything were supposed to trend downward, but it still was a little much, especially because it seemed like I may have been becoming less and less aware of the actual loss of control. I guess that’s why I was in diapers; they weren’t just something to look at, I was using them for their intended purpose. Soon we were at the school; we sat in a pickup line out near the back, stretching out onto the road. It looked like your typical elementary school; there was nothing really remarkable to tell about it; it did look like there was a community garden or something similar off to the side, but other than that, it was nothing I’d write home about. Certainly nicer than the schools I’d gone to as a kid, that’s for sure, but nonetheless pretty unremarkable. The time in line gave me time to finish my bottle; I put it in a cup holder next to me under the window. Now I had nothing to really keep my attention, so I just more or less focused on the little things going around. There were staff members trying to keep order of a process that seemed more akin to herding cats; parents getting out of cars and yelling for their kids; it was all a little much. Soon, Auntie Dana was doing the same, getting out, yelling at Natalie, and waving for her to come over. Soon, I saw Natalie headed towards the car; Auntie Dana got out and opened the door; Natalie got in, looked at me and smiled. “Jaclyn! Mommy said you were going to be here today! I’m super glad to see you again!” she smiled. “Hi,” was about all I could do. I was really nervous, even if Natalie seemed like she was in a pretty joyful mood. We headed back to Auntie Dana’s house; Natalie spent the majority of the trip talking about random things they’d been learning in school that day, which ranged from everything dealing with rudimentary Astronomy to different forms of Multiplication in other classes. Finally we got home, and I went up to play with the girls. We were having a good time, even if Natalie was a little bossy. She had a strange pre-occupation with playing school, and wanted to be the teacher and the “babies be the students”. For someone who’d just spent a long time at school, it seemed like it didn’t dissuade her in the least. Natalie joyfully carried on, and really seemed a natural teacher. She taught the “babies” about numbers, colors, and baby animals. Unfortunately for me, the rumbling in my stomach from earlier seemed to get bigger and bigger. Even though my wetting wasn’t much in my control, I still felt like I had more control over my bowels, even though that would eventually slip away as well. In the present though, I was trying my hardest to carry on. I really, and I mean really, didn’t want to poop in my diaper at Auntie Dana’s. Being changed by her out of my wet diapers were enough; I really wasn’t ready for the poopy experience, especially here. I kept carrying on playing, even though the dread in my stomach kept putting more and more pressure in it. I didn’t think Mommy would be here anytime soon, so that added stress to my already pressure-filled stomach. I could hold it, I knew I could. The problem with this approach though is that I was becoming more and more withdrawn as I focused on my impending potty pants issue. Rather than engaging in “learning”, I was sitting in the corner, trying my best to hold it. My diaper was wet, to be sure, and I was resigned to a change for that, but if I could just hold on, then I’d be home free and I could go poop in the safe confines of Mommy’s house. It was a foolproof plan, I just knew it would work. Fate, unfortunately, had other plans. In the midst of trying to prevent a brown disaster in my diaper, I’d taken on coloring with some of the girls’ coloring books. It came natural to me; I loved art, whether it was drawing, painting, or sculpting clay. I’d always loved coloring books when I was a kid, and this really brought me back to a more “happy” place where I could lovingly distract myself with coloring a pretty picture. This one happened to have all sorts of cartoon animals in it across a wide variety of environments, whether it was oceans, rain forests, and other things; and it really made me have fun. This was my “school assignment” from Teacher Natalie. Things were going well, and in my distraction, a set of crayons took on the form of logs rolling down a hill and rolled off the table. As I went to bend over to get them, the pressure got to be too much, and well, my bowels finally had enough; too much effort had been expended throughout the day, which, coupled with the pureed food I’d been eating and the stuff I’d been drinking, wasn’t a good combination. Within seconds, a giant mess began to explode out of my bottom and into the back of my diaper. It literally felt like I had five tons of poop; I could feel it across the entirety of my diaper. I sat there in a mix of shock and awe, fully aware of what I’d just done, and I started bawling my eyes out. It was embarrassment more than anything else, I guess, but it didn’t change the fact that I was sitting in front of relative strangers with a completely filled-to-the-top poopy diaper. It wasn’t the first time I’d done this in front of these two, of course, there was that incident at the baseball game, but it was still embarrassing nonetheless. I felt inconsolable, and couldn’t stop crying. Natalie and Amelia came to try and comfort me, as if they were big sisters comforting their baby sibling. The smell of it began engulfing the room, making the whole ordeal even worse. They tried everything to get me to stop, and nothing was working. Finally, Natalie took it in her hands to call in the big guns, walking out of the room, and yelling out of the hall. “Mo-MMY! Baby Jaclyn is crying! She’s really upset!” Natalie yelled downstairs. I could hear a trouncing up the stairs that were getting closer and closer. Finally, Auntie Dana appeared in the door. “Jac-y, what’s wrong, sweetie?” Auntie Dana asked, before her nostrils finally told her what was going on. “I…go…poopy,” was all I could muster. The look on Auntie Dana’s face went from one of fear and concern to one being almost humored. “Oh sweetie, you don’t need to be upset. It’s a poopy diaper, and these things happen with babies, you saw Amelia have one today, you shouldn’t cry, it just comes with the territory. Let’s get you changed and that little stinky bottom of yours all clean. “Otay Auntie Dana,” I told her, “I sowwy.” “Honey, it’s nothing to be sorry over, that’s why your Mommy put you back in diapers, babies can’t help when they poop and pee, it’s better on your bottom than on the floor or on me!” she almost rhymed, though I don’t know if that was intentional or not. “Why don’t we go downstairs, all of your changing stuff is down there,” she told me, “Girls, Mommy has to go change a poopy diaper, Jac-y will be back up in a few minutes,” she told Natalie and Amelia. “Okay Mommy!” they spoke in unison. I obediently followed Auntie Dana out of the room, the mess moving around as I walked. Tears still on my face, and waddling down the stairs, I just wanted this dirty dropping in my diaper to come to a merciful end. “Why don’t you go in front of the couch, I’ll bring the stuff over, and we’ll get this all done real quick so you can go back to playing,” she told me in a somewhat happy voice. How could anyone be happy having to deal with…this? There’s a hallway in whatever heaven that may exist dedicated to Auntie Dana, I can say that much. I went over and stood there, I didn’t want to smoosh my poop on my bottom more than I think it already was, plus, there was a worry I had about leaking that poop all over my clothes and onto the floor, which would have defeated the ultimate purpose of the diaper to begin with. Auntie Dana rummaged through my diaper bag (It was still weird to think of it as *my* diaper bag filled with *my* diapers, but I digress) and got everything she needed. A new diaper, some wipes, and a changing pad were in her hand as she approached, and then laid out the pad on the ground. “Lay down sweetie so Auntie Dana can get you all clean,” she instructed. I laid down, my line of sight staring straight upon the celling of the living room. I hadn’t noticed it before, but it had a really cool pattern, all hardwood planked, neatly stained to really make it pop. There were lots of wood beams crisscrossing the house, and the floor was made up in much the same way. I have no idea how much something like this cost, but it was clear that Dana and her husband weren’t hurting in the money department. Auntie Dana pulled down my tights and set them to the side, revealing a pretty poopy and pummeled diaper. She moved my blouse up on me, almost to my chest. “Well, here goes nothing, let’s see how stinky of a present you made for Auntie Dana,” she smiled, and began to open the tapes of the sodden garment. As the tapes popped, the smell got worse, and as the last one was popped, Auntie Dana opened up the front, letting it plop forward onto the changing pad, revealing the nasty and stinky contents inside. “Oh wow honey, you really did a number on this diaper, you really had to go didn’t you, aren’t you just the stinkiest girl in the house? Are you going for an award? Yes you are! Yes you are!,” she teased me. At least she was being a good sport about it. “I don’t know if these wipes your Mommy sent are going to be enough, hold on.” “NATALIEEEE!!!” she yelled upstairs. “Yes Mommy?” “Can you bring some of your sister’s wipes down here?” There was no answer, but a noise of running feet shortly followed. “COMING MOMMY!” Natalie emerged towards the top, with Amelia following quickly behind. I felt exposed. Here I was, laying naked from my bottom half, covered in a poopy mess on top of a dirty diaper, with Dana kneeling next to me, ready to finish the job. “Ewww, Baby Jaclyn smells as bad as ‘Melia’s poopy pants,” Natalie snorted before looking at me, “Don’t worry baby, someday your Mommy will get you all potty trained,” Dana shot her a glare. “Natalie, do you want to re-think your smart comments?” “Uhhh…” “If you want to keep teasing, I can put you back in diapers with your sister and Jac-y too, and you all three can make poopies for Mommy and Auntie Beth, is that what you want?” “Ew, no, I’m not a baby,” Natalie shot back. “Well then, quit teasing. They’re babies honey, they can’t help it, they need their diapers, it’s not a big deal…now go back upstairs and play,” Auntie Dana commanded. “Yes Mommmmy,” Natalie told her, “C’mon Amelia, we’ll go up and play and wait for Jac-y to get back,” and they both headed upstairs, “see you soon Jac-y,” she yelled from the stairs. Auntie Dana turned her attention to me. “I’m sorry about that sweetie, I swear, that girl thinks she’s a lot older than she already is, and can’t control her mouth sometimes,” she shook her head. “It otay Auntie Dana,” I told her. “Oh I’m sure you don’t mind, you probably just want to be out of this poopy diaper and back up playing with the girls, don’t you?” “Yeth,” I told her, lisping through my binky. “Well let’s get that taken care of then, how about that?” I smiled and nodded. Dana was pretty efficient with the change. She used a ton of wipes and was very thorough with cleaning me all over, first getting me on my crotch area, and then in between my thighs, finding any and every area that might be covered by my stinky mess. “Lift,” she instructed, and pulled the dirty diaper out from underneath me, before wiping enough of my cheeks that I could sit down with out completely destroying the changing pad. She rolled it up and set it to the side, putting the used wipes inside of it. “Lift again,” she instructed me, and pushed my legs up in the air, putting the wipes deep up in the crack of my butt, and getting everything all clean. She put me back down, and then looked all over, tapping the side of my legs to have me roll over on both sides, and then looked at my bottom again. Clearly confident in her work, she pulled another diaper out, and unfolding it. “One more lifty for Auntie,” she instructed. I did as I was told and she slid the back half of my new diaper underneath me. She took some baby powder, and spread some baby oil all over (“just to make sure you smell good for Mommy and everyone else”) and then finishing up, she pulled the diaper up, taping it into place. She then grabbed my leggings. “Toes out for Auntie,” she told me. I stuck them out in some sort of planking motion, and she slid them over my feet and pulled them up my legs. “Ok, sweetie, stand up real quick, and grab my shoulders.” I did as I was told, and she bent over, pulling the leggings up the rest of the way, over my diaper. “There we go, all clean, and as much of a cutie as ever,” she told me, playfully patting my bottom to signify a job well done. “Fanks Auntie Dana,” I told her. “Of course sweetie, now why don’t you go up and play until dinner time, go have fun upstairs.” I did my diaper waddle upstairs, running in much the same direction as a toddler would. My anxieties were now contained in the dirty diaper that Dana was disposing of downstairs, and I felt like I turned a corner. As we played upstairs, the smells from downstairs wafted towards the room. If it tasted half as good as it looked, I couldn’t wait. Dinner was pretty uneventful. I did enjoy the smell, but rather than getting some of Auntie Dana’s expert cooking in the solid form, I had to settle for more puree. It wasn’t the worst tasting, and unfortunately (but maybe fortunately), I was getting more and more used to it. Whereas I’d always loved to get something quick like a Mexican Pizza from Taco Bell, I was now settling for pureed spaghetti mixed with fruits and veggies. At least I was going to be healthy, I guess. Auntie Dana initially fed me, but that soon gave way to Natalie trading her places and doing it instead. She was pretty fun with it, playing “airplane” and a few other baby games. I felt jealous of Amelia, who even though she was basically a toddler herself, she at least got to partake in the solid foods, even if she did make a mess. Dinner eventually was over, and we went back upstairs to play. After a little bit, Auntie Dana came in and announced it was time for the girls to go to bed. She took them and gave them both a bath, and then got them dressed in PJs, before sending them both to bed.. They both came up and gave me big hugs, and were happy when Auntie Dana told them that I’d be joining them at the house again tomorrow. Finally, she looked at me, took me by the hand, and led me downstairs. “Your Mommy will be here sometime soon, so why don’t we go and wind down for her; I’ve got a bottle to give you, we can change you afterward.” It honestly didn’t sound like a half-bad plan I guess. I was a little tired from the day, and a bottle sounded pretty good right now. Auntie Dana got a bottle, went and sat on the couch, tapping a spot next to her for me to come sit. I layed across her lap, my head propped up by her right elbow, and her holding a bottle for me with the other. We watched an episode of the Office, and even though it wasn’t technically “age appropriate” for me, I didn’t say anything. For someone who was the mom of two busy kids, watching adult shows must have been a real luxury, so I didn’t interrupt. She’d already had the honors of changing a number of wet diapers and one really poopy mess, so I figured she needed a break from the baby stuff. I just wanted to be quiet and cute. As I continued to drink, she looked down, and started talking. “Did you have fun today sweetie?” I nodded. “Being a baby isn’t the worst thing in the world, is it?” I shook my head. “Well, you were an angel today, and I know the girls both had fun playing, so I’ll ask your Mommy if its ok if she keeps bringing you here every morning. It’s not that much more work, trust me…just a few more diapers to change, and well, that’s not terrible if it’s the most that happens.” All I could do was smile “Fank you Auntie Dana” “You’re most certainly welcome, angel” My eyes got heavy as I finished the bottle, and I curled into Auntie Dana’s lap (as much as I could) and drifted off. I was awoke a little while later by a knock at the door. Mommy was here! Mommy was here! I smiled again. Auntie Dana must have picked up on it. “Looks like a certain little girl is happy that her Mommy’s here, isn’t she?” I smiled and nodded. She got up and went and opened the door. “Hi Beth! Come in! We just finished a bottle, and I was going to change her before I sent her back home; no, no, you’ve had a long day, you don’t need another thing to do, I don’t mind.” Mommy and Auntie Dana came around the couch, and I couldn’t hide my excitement. “MOMMMMY!!!!” I screamed with delight, wrapping my arms around her. “Oh honey, I missed you too, before we go, you need to go be changed. We’re going right to bed when we get home,” she told me. I nodded. Auntie Dana went and grabbed a diaper and some wipes and layed out the changing pad. “Come here babygirl, let’s get you changed, and then it’s time to go home!” I went over and assumed the position. As Auntie Dana began the process of changing my dirty diaper, she filled Mommy in about the various things we’d done during the day, including the fingerpaints, the food, and the poopy diaper, but never really acknowledging me except to tease me playfully with the diaper and then getting me dressed. “And Beth, if you need a sitter for the foreseeable future, I’m more than happy to take your little Princess Padded Tushy here,” Auntie Dana smiled, “she’s a great playmate with Amelia and doesn’t cause any problems at all, other than the messy diapers,” she chuckled. ‘I don’t want to put you out, but it’d be a great help,” Mommy told her. “Of course Beth, you’ve done the same for me before, so I really don’t mind repaying the favor.” Finally she got me dressed, and helped me up. She went and grabbed some of the art work I’d made during the day, put it in my diaper bag, and handed it to Mommy. Mommy looked at me, and smiled. “Well Princess, are you ready to go home?” “Uh huh” “Well, go give Auntie Dana some huggies (the irony) and a kissy on the cheek, and tell her you’ll see her tomorrow!” I went to Auntie Dana, who opened her arms up for me. “Come here Princess,” and she engulfed me in a hug. “Thank you for such a wonderful day, I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow!” I finished the hug, and Auntie Dana pointed to her cheek. I gave her a sweet and short little baby kiss, and waddled back over to Mommy, who grabbed me by the hand. “Thank you so much again Dana, we’ll be seeing you tomorrow morning!” “No problem! See you then! Bye Beth, Bye Princess!” With that we were off. Mommy took me to the back of her SUV and buckled me in. I was happy to be back with Mommy, even if I’d had a lot of fun already. “It’s late honey, just sit back and enjoy the ride, Mommy is really happy that you had a great time and you were well-behaved at Auntie Dana’s. We’re going straight to bed once we get home; it’s late and I’ll give you a bath in the morning.” We drove for a bit longer, and we were finally back home. Mommy took me up to my room, and stripped me down to my diaper. “Still pretty dry, it should hold up overnight”, she announced. She found a long pink shirt that must have been about 3X my size, and put it over me. It said “Girls Rule” on it, and really, after today, it was a sentiment that I definitely shared and could be proud of. It was anxiety filled, and even a bit traumatic at times, but it felt like I was headed in a good direction, even if that good direction involved pooping my pants and crying about it. She also gave me a pacifier, which I was only too happy to suck on. Mommy tucked me in, and kissed me on the forehead. “Goodnight Princess, I hope you have sweet dreams.” “I wuv you too Mommy,” I lisped behind the pacifier. Mommy walked out and turned the light off, closing the door on her way out. I began to drift off to sleep, still somewhat conflicted, but also finding happiness. I finally had the support system I’d been so painfully lacking in my prior life. I drifted off with a crack of a smile on my face. Poopy diapers and all, I was most definitely on the road to becoming Mommy’s Princess.

I didn't want to stay in the house all the time. I'd just lost the habit of leaving it. Days could pass without going outside, everywhere shut due to some pandemic meant there was nowhere to go anyway, being out of work left me unable to afford it even if options did exist. A knock on my door. I wasn't expecting any deliveries, probably someone raising funds for charity or selling their personal brand of religion. I answered it anyway, hid behind the door, peeked out and saw two friends. They lived locally, we had contact numbers, one of them even had the key to my house. She looked after my cats sometimes, but this time they wanted to look after me. "How are you? Are you still going for walks?" We'd bumped into each other when I was out for a walk but that was a few months ago. I admitted that I wasn't getting out as much as I wanted. They were on their way for a walk then, local restrictions allowing that. "Would you like to join us on a walk later in the week?" I thought fast. One of them was demanding, a self-made business woman, dance teacher and landlady; she'd make me feel inadequate and inferior, entirely by accident, her confidence and success shining beside my current struggles. The other, with the key to my house, was a single mother, kids now left home. Highly educated she was also a bit batty, had mental conditions, couldn't disengage her mouth from her brain, applied few filters to what she said. She was kind but that constant stream of consciousness combined with the self awareness that this wasn't societally accepted behaviour made her a conversational nightmare, a social challenge most people sought to avoid. I could handle it, just let her ramble on, fed the appropriate prompts to keep her going. We'd spent time together, long car journeys with me driving, treating her much as I would the radio, background noise to pass the time and help me focus on the road. But I needed to get out of the house, needed the physical exercise, needed the social contact. Of course I said yes. "Cool! We're off now but expect a message." I closed the door, leaned against the wall, sighed. They meant well, it would help me, but emotionally it was going to be exhausting. That night a text message. "Fancy a walk tomorrow afternoon?" I didn't fancy it but knew I should, so sent a positive reply, asked time was good for her. "Excellent. I'll pick you up at 12.30, take you for a walk around the village." At this I smiled. She knew the whole village, had grown up here, could probably show me new areas. A walk around the outer edges could easily take an hour, much more if less direct routes were followed. I was up well before lunchtime and ready before 12.30. Proper hiking shoes to keep my feet comfortable, even if we did stay on pavements, short socks leaving bare ankles below my sweatpants which themselves were loose enough to hide my diaper. My friends didn't know about those, didn't need to find out, probably wouldn't care. I did decide to throw something fun into the mix though, slipped on a thin rain jacket and over it pulled my backpack, the one with waist and shoulder straps that buckled securely to prevent easy removal. Opening the door I found my batty friend stood there, and she immediately laughed. "That looks like a baby harness," she said, "I had one just like that for my two when they were tiny." I blushed, kept quiet. It was a baby harness; I'd just resewn the buckles and clasps to longer straps. I stepped out of the door and asked where she was taking me. At this point she laughed again, reached behind me and took a wristband attached to a nylon strap to the backpack. "Oh wow it is a baby harness!" she exclaimed, giving it a quick tug as she walked off, "Come on, I'll take you.." Mortified I followed, listening to her explaining the route, wondering how I'd been so stupid to leave the rein attached. Wondering why she'd so easily taken hold of it, was using it to keep me close to her, had fastened the wrist band just above her hand and seemed to have entirely forgotten it. I thought to complain but didn't know how. I didn't want to make her feel awkward, didn't want to draw attention to the situation, didn't know how to explain the rein and backpack harness anyway. Part of me just enjoyed being controlled, having someone take charge of the situation, be responsible for me having a safe walk. So I just followed her, trying to keep up. We were about the same height so her legs weren't longer, she just moved them faster, didn't allow for my slower natural walking speed. If I did fall behind the rein would go taut, she'd notice and tug a little with her arm, a non-verbal encouragement to catch and keep up. I shook my head and tried to stay alongside but still let her choose the route. She took us out of the village onto a bridle path, one I knew looped back to another part of the village, a long walk through farm fields and by a stream. It was a route I'd choose for myself, if I wasn't in a diaper, wasn't attached to the wrist of a woman that had been talking non-stop throughout, giving me details on her children's time at university, the new housing developments we were passing, scandal and gossip from the village. The walk was proving good for me, despite the weirdness of the situation. I'd almost forgotten she had me on a baby rein, was sure that she had. I hadn't forgotten I had a diaper on, and I hadn't expected such a long walk. We'd emerged from the fields and were now following the stream back to the village, its gentle tinkling a constant reminder that I'd had a full bladder for some time, the discomfort becoming and my body demanding relief. I asked her to stop, quickly crouched and as she turned I was fiddling with my shoelace. "What's the.. oh. Shoelace," she said, quite redundantly. I took advantage of my crouched position to relieve my bladder, trusting that she wouldn't hear it, keeping my expression neutral as I kept my fingers busy with the lace. She laughed anyway. "Sorry," she said, "you just look like my two when they were toddlers. They'd tug on their reins, stop and crouch just like that to wet themselves." I blushed profusely, stood up too fast in embarrassment. The onesie holding my diaper securely in place did its job, tugged the diaper back close to my skin but it hadn't had time to wick, wasn't designed to just accept a full bladder in one go. The ones I wore at night could, but this was thin so that I could walk comfortably in it. It leaked. Mothers always notice. She noticed. "Oh my goodness! You were wetting yourself!" I stood there, unable to deny it. Unable to even walk away, tethered as I was to her wrist. We stood there, looked at each other. I was blushing and silent, she had, for the first time since we'd met, nothing to say. Eventually I shrugged, made light of it. "It doesn't normally leak." Her brain registered the implications of that sentence, the material of my sweatpants dark and wet in a pattern that showed 'it' was something worn beneath, that I'd clearly expected something like this, that my planning had just fallen short. Her motherly instincts kicked in. "It's ok, leaks happen," she said pragmatically, "Let's get you home before it gets worse." I toddled after her as she moved off, little choice without struggling free from the harness, the rein still giving her control over me. My gait was less smooth now, swollen disposable not forcing a visible waddle but certainly feeling that it did. A few hundred yards later she resumed her general rambling, discussing her holiday plans for next year, entirely disregarding the strange situation we were in. Back at my house I opened my door, started to step in and felt at tug from the harness. "Oh!" she said, "I think you'll be safe now." She took the wrist band off, passed it to me, stepped back smiling. "It's been a lovely walk and we should do it again." I looked at her in confusion. I'd been wondering how to ask for my key back, wondering if I'd have to move house, unsure if I'd dare go out in the village ever again. I started to apologise but she cut me off. "Don't worry, I had fun. You couldn't help it, I took you far too far for your first walk. But look, if you're not comfortable then you don't have to come with me again." She mentioned our other friend, that she could take me for a walk isntead, that they just wanted to be sure I was ok and getting out of the house from time to time. So I thanked her, made no commitments, went inside and mechanically went about getting undressed, having a shower, finding a clean diaper. That night I was good, sent her a text message thanking her for the walk and thanking her for her understanding. Her reply was simple, a yellow smiling face, no words. It was the next day that I had the shock. A text message from our other friend; she'd heard I'd been out the day before, was going out tomorrow herself, would I like her to take me with her? Had they spoken? Did she know? Her message offered no hints, a neutral suggestion of companionship and fresh air. If I said no it could be received as an insult, but could I say yes? I said yes, agreed a time. This time I made sure I had a clean diaper on, didn't have an immediate need to use it. I left the harness hung by my coats, pulled a raincoat on over my yoga top, opened the door to her knock and stepped out. "Wait." she said, "Where's your backpack? Make sure the rein's attached, I can't be having you wandering off by yourself." Shocked I didn't even think to question her, instincts responding to her commanding tone, managerial experience giving her vocal control. I returned to my door with my backpack in my hands, only for her to take it from me, slide my arms through the straps, fasten the waist buckles to secure it to me. Even as I wondered where this was going she spoke again, a question this time. "Do you have a spare diaper in there?" My surprise at the question stopped me even answering so she took my shoulder, spun me around and looked for herself. I knew the answer of course but it was confirmed by a firm swat to my bottom, entirely painless due to the obvious padding it caught. "Go and get one," she told me, "We're stopping for coffee and I don't want you to leak." I protested; I didn't like changing myself in public, didn't know if I could. It didn't help, another swat absorbed by my padding, this one propelling me into my house. "I said get a spare diaper," she said, "I'm taking you for a walk, I'm buying you coffee and if you need it, I'll change your diaper for you. Now, scoot, before I come in and find a spare one for you." I scooted. I didn't know if I could survive the whole walk and coffee with a dry diaper, but I'd conceded too much ground, couldn't reassert my independence. My friends had been worried I was vulnerable due to the isolation, wanted to care for me, had clearly discussed the walk two days before and this was the strong successful friend. I wouldn't convince her to back off now, would have to just accept her help. Maybe enjoy it. I turned, smiled at her and drew her into a quick hug before running off to find a spare diaper. I could enjoy this. "Good girl," I heard from the door way, "You wait, this will be fun!" I guess she was planning to enjoy it too.

To pee, or not to pee, that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the loins to suffer The leaks and soiling of incontinent fortune, Or to pad up against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To poo - to wet, No more; and by wetting to say we end The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks That wetting causes: 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To poo, to wet, To wet, perchance to dream - ay, there's the rub, For in that diaper what dreams may cum, When we have shuffled off this mortal need, Must give us pause. There's the respect That makes wet diapers part of our life.

Twelve: Gin Somewhere else, Effie was imagining herself tightly wrapping a diaper around Layne’s face until he was no longer able to breathe. But the truth was that she was a little more upset at herself. She felt like a fool. It could’ve been worse - at least she was the only one who knew she was a fool - but that didn’t make her feel much better about it. She had sacrificed and made herself incredibly vulnerable for the sake of Layne and the store. And how could she not have seen this coming? Of course Layne would stumble into an answer on his own. Such was the Layne Stanlan Story. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything to Layne as she stormed from the store. She probably didn’t actually want to have to look for a new job. And so that meant calling Layne back tomorrow and apologizing. Her imagined diaper-strangulation intensified. She needed someone to talk to. But someone who could understand where she was coming from. Someone who wouldn’t divert the conversation the moment that Effie brought up the fact that she had expelled an enema into a diaper. And there was only one person that she could call. -- The fact that she had crumbled so easily suggested that she never had that tight of a grasp in her beliefs in the first place. When she traced back through her relatively short tenure with CALM, she saw herself rising to the role of spokesperson only on account of the fact that nobody else wanted it. CALM hadn’t been about action previously - it had been a breeding ground for frustration and contempt. Someone would complain about something, rile everybody up, and then they’d start showing up in local government assemblies. For a while, it made complete sense to Grace because she was caught in the echo chamber. But, wouldn’t you know it, this guy - who she once referred to as a diaper-peddler - would crack open the lid to the echo chamber by just asking a few basic questions. It was just a little personal crisis. Who am I? What do I believe in? Etc. And there she was, once again in the parking lot of Bottoms Up. It’d be the third time she’d walk into that store. She’d never admit aloud how many more times she had just sat in the parking lot after hours, staring up at the building. It was a strange temple that hosted a group of people who were willing and ready to sacrifice all of their adult-ly agencies for the sake of feeling things that society strongly discourages. That certainly didn’t seem so bad. If there were creeps and monsters who bought things in Bottoms Up, she figured the ratio was no different than the number of creeps who were shopping at the local grocery store or, hell, an ice cream stand. All that to say - she had wet herself while wearing a diaper and she was rather fond of it. This wasn’t completely unexpected. The night after her lunch with Layne at The Schoolhouse, she fell down a wine-fueled rabbit hole of videos and stories. And for as much as it pained her to admit it, she didn’t hate what she saw. The moment she had gone into Bottoms Up and mentioned the word ‘research’ to Layne, she could see what would happen next. And she was right - she came home with a diaper. She put on the diaper - poorly, but she still did it. She wet the diaper. She...really enjoyed that diaper. And now for the return to that temple. She had been telling herself, most of the day, that this would still be research. She was still tallying up positives and negatives, as if it mattered when she picked the arbitrary moment when ‘research’ ended. This wasn’t research anymore. She didn’t know what it was, but it probably didn’t matter. The first thing she observed, as she walked to the front door of the shop, was that there were two people on the salesfloor - neither of which she knew. She could deduce that one was the supposed ‘Mommy’ promised by Layne, but the other was a complete unknown. It made her a little nervous. Was this not the private introduction to babyhood she thought she was getting? The woman inside yelled something back to the stockroom before charging forward to unlock the front door. “Hi, you must be Layne’s friend?” the woman asked. “Is that how he’s described me?” responded Grace. “I might be putting words in his mouth. But we wouldn’t be here if he didn’t like you.” “I’m Grace, by the way.” “Hi Grace. I’m Harper, I’m Layne’s...uh…” “She’s his wife,” said the other person, the one with the semi-purpled hair. “And we all agree that it’s weird, but it probably won’t be the weirdest thing that happens today.” “Oh,” Grace said, feeling a wave of uncertainty wash over her. “I had no idea that…” “Seperated,” Harper said. “But friendly. At least for the past week we have been. Oh, and behind me, here, is Syd. They’re my current partner.” Syd looked to be blushing a little. Swooning too, Grace thought - but that was just speculation. “That was the first time you called me that,” they said. “Is it?” The two squealed in glee. In the back of the room, at the window in the swinging doors that lead back to the stockroom, there’s another feminine face - the other employee of the store. Her cheeks look excessively red - though it’s hard to say if she actually saw that or not in the moment the face is there. The face is gone as quickly as Grace sees it. “How many people are actually going to be here?” she asks the other two. “Just you and me,” Harper says. “And Syd. And Layne.” “Effie isn’t staying?” Syd asked. “I doubt it,” Harper said. “She’s not really into this stuff at all.” “I guess that’s already more people than I anticipated,” Grace said, almost feeling bad that she was interrupting the banter between Syd and Harper. “Layne will not be an active participant,” Harper said. “In fact, I’m going to ask him to go get us some dinner later so that he’s out of our way. Do you like Indian?” Grace just nodded politely, for lack of desire in getting too off topic in a discussion about the Indian meals she did and didn’t like. “Oh, and there’s me,” Syd said, seeming to remember that they had yet to reveal how they played into this. “I’m, uh, also getting indoctrinated into the baby cult tonight.” “So you’re not alone,” Harper quickly added, as if swallowing up any potential silence would prevent Grace from second-guessing herself. “That sounds nice, actually.” “Yeah? Are you sure?” Harper asked. Grace nodded again. The swinging doors opened, and Layne entered the salesfloor. Everyone else - in various stages of knowing him at all - could tell that he was trying to look happier than he was actually feeling. “Ladies and gentleman,” Harper said, playing a drum roll on her air-drums, “our sponsor for this evening.” “Our figurative Daddy to your Mommy?” Syd asked. “No,” Harper quickly said. “He’s no Daddy. He’s just a…” “Can I get y’all anything to drink?” Layne asked. “I have some water in the back. Maybe soda? I definitely have at least half a bottle of gin. But it’s cheap gin, so don’t get too excited.” “Alcohol?” Harper asked Syd and Grace. “Would that help?” “Probably,” said Syd. Grace just nodded. “We’ll take three glasses of your finest gin, my good man.” “I have two coffee mugs…” “Just bring out the damn bottle. We’ll share.” -- Somewhere else, Effie had placed a call. “You know, I was spending some time with Baby Hammy this morning. And I was very clear about the stances he’d need to take in his upcoming council meetings. He was, I must say, very receptive to them.” “Oh?” Effie couldn’t bring herself to tell Margaret the truth. And even if she could’ve, she still might not have. “It was easier than I thought it’d be,” Margaret said. “I simply dangled the key to his chastity cage over the toilet.” “When can I see you again?” Effie asked. Margaret offered a single shrill “Ha!” in response. And for a moment or two, that was it. She eventually followed it with: “I knew that you enjoyed it - it was quite obvious. But I didn’t think I was going to be hearing from you again.” “No?” “You’re prideful. Well, when you’re not in a diaper, at least. We had completed our transaction, and regardless of how much you liked it, I suspected that I wouldn’t hear from you again.” “I want to see you again,” Effie said. Margaret hadn’t been wrong about anything she had just said. She had convinced herself that she probably wasn’t going to call Margaret again. But that was before her little explosion at the shop. “You do realize I charge my little babies for my time, yes?” “Do I need to pay to see you again? Because…I would.” “No, my darling Buttercup. I wouldn’t charge you a penny.” -- “The thing about hypnosis is that the recipient has to want the effects of it, right? You will never be hypnotized if you stubbornly reject it. The more you allow yourself to be affected by it, the more you’ll get out of it.” “Are you a hypnotist too?” asked Syd. “It’s somewhere on my kink bucket list,” Harper said with a shrug. “But I may have spent time with a hypnotist once or twice. The point I’m trying to make is that this really isn’t that different. You get out of this what you put into it. If you go into it thinking that you’re going to hate it, you’re probably going to hate it. I can’t magically make you embrace diapers if you don’t want to.” Syd and Grace both nodded. The bottle of gin had made its way around their little circle a few times. It was just as bad as Layne had warned them it would be. But the stinging warmth in their bellies was also a little comforting. It was a shared stinging warmth. “This might all be pretty obvious, but let’s just get the important stuff out of the way. We can all agree that whatever happens here stays here? Between us?” “Yes,” said Grace. “Of course,” said Syd. “And, look, we’re going to be getting pretty, uh, intimate with each other. Clothes are coming off. I’m going to see all your bits. And, you know, I’ve seen some of the bits in this room. Some I have not. I just want to make sure we’re all good with that.” “I’m good with that,” Syd said. “I’ll take off my pants right now if you want me to.” “Grace?” Grace sighed before shrugging and laughing. “You know…I’m already here. I’m already...invested. So, yeah. Whatever you need from me.” “Any questions before we get started?” Syd turned to Grace. “Care to make a friendly bet?” “A bet?” “We see who uses their diaper first?” Grace laughed again, blushing a little. “When you say ‘use’ you mean…” “Well, pissing yourself, I think,” Syd said. “But, I mean, bonus points for making a truly epic mess for Harper to clean up.” “Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Harper said. “I don’t think I’m quite there yet,” Grace said. “Though, when you say ‘uses their diaper first,’ is that person the winner or the loser?” “Uh, winner,” Syd said. Grace blushed a little while nodding at these terms, though not entirely believing that being first made anyone a ‘winner’ or ‘loser.’ “Look,” Harper said, clapping her hands together. “Anything in the store. Anything you want. Onesies. Dresses. Pacifiers. Particular diaper style. Whatever you want to try, we’ll try it. We good? We ready to go?” She was met with mostly-assured nods. Which was good enough. -- Somewhere else, Layne was watching alt-rock music videos from his youth on his phone while he ate cookies at his desk in the stockroom. He didn’t actually believe he’d get to be up close and personal to the action, but he didn’t think that he’d be dismissed. Now he just waited until they needed something. He wasn’t really watching the videos though, they were just distracting noises and lights. His cock was throbbing, thinking of Harper babying the two guests. He was jealous. Jealous that he wasn’t right there with them. He was so close - he could hear the murmur of their conversations. Really, he was jealous that he might not get to see the end results. -- “Who’s first?” asked Harper. “You?” asked Grace, finger pointed to Syd. “Yeah, me, I guess,” replied Syd with a shrug. “I think there are some diapers in the Nursery already,” Harper said. “But if there’s anything special you want we could go and grab some.” “No, that’s okay,” Syd said. “I’m not sure that I care much about aesthetics right now.” “Suit yourself. C’mon, baby.” Syd blushed, and then Grace blushed - a second-hand blush from the knowledge that she’d be ‘baby’ next. Syd followed Grace into the small room and the door closed behind them. Grace was tempted to meander across the stockroom to talk to Layne, but she stopped herself. She was here for, if not ‘research,’ herself. She liked Layne. Liked? Well, she felt some sort of way about him. But she also wondered if she felt the same way about Layne as she felt about a fast food hamburger on a day where she had somehow been too busy for breakfast and lunch. It was probably the most appetizing thing in the world, as anything else would’ve been if she looked a little more. She had been single for a long time. So long, in fact, that this was just The Way it Was. She worked a lot, and when she wasn’t working, she was volunteering. Or taking care of her mother. Or neglecting herself. Usually at the same time. The concept of romance sounded nice, but it also felt like a lot of work. Dates and texting etiquettes and whatnot. And here was the diaper-peddler, plopping right into her lap. And he had been, mostly, nice to her. Patient, at the very least. Grace wondered what would’ve happened if her band of angry citizens had targeted a store that sold costumes to those people who dressed up like animals and had sex with each other...or whatever it was that they did. Would she have developed a crush on a guy who dressed like a bobcat at night? Would she be waiting for his wife to put a dog mask on her? No, diapers seemed good. Somewhere in her skull there were reasons for that. Old memories and triggered nerves that made the concept of diapers resonate more. Someday she’d dig into that a little, but the reasons seemed unimportant now. She tried to imagine what it was like on the other side of the closed door. It made her excited. It made her wet in a way nothing had in a while. She even, briefly, contemplated, fleeing the building and getting back into her car to drive away. The obvious stimulation was a heavy weight on her, and she feared that Harper wouldn’t like what she saw. Cooler heads prevailed, and she let out some tension with a nice long sigh. Harper probably knew damn well what to expect. Time passed, and she stared into space while her brain flipped through the channels. She imagined herself getting put into a diaper. She imagined herself wearing the diaper. She imagined what it would be like to squat down and force a poo into the back of her diaper. She imagined needing to stand before CALM to explain why she not only thought that they should drop their protest of Bottoms Up, but that she’d also be stepping away from the group - all while she wore a diaper under her slacks - slowly and steadily wetting them as she talked to everyone. The door opened and Syd emerged. Near nude, save for a white undershirt and the thick space-themed diaper around her midsection. “You’re up,” they said with a smile. “Don’t keep Mommy waiting.” She smiled and nodded politely as she stepped towards the now-open door. “Are you ready?” asked Harper, stepping out from within the nursery. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” “Come on in.” The room looked bigger than she remembered it looking before, in the half-completed state she observed a few days prior. Odd considering that there seemed to be more things in the room now - two people included. With little context for what a proper adult-baby nursery would look like, this seemed to be just about what she had expected. There was the changing table. A well-stocked shelf of diapers, wipes, and other assorted bottles and tubes. The colorful foam flooring. The pastel walls with floating shelves holding things like stuffed animals and pacifiers. Grace immediately began shimmying out of her pants and panties, letting them slide down her slender legs. “Oh, we’re not going to waste any time, I see,” said Harper. “I’m worried that if I give myself a moment to think about it, I’ll freeze up.” “Fair enough. But we can’t go any further until I look at these.” Harper bent down and plucked Grace’s panties off the ground. A bold royal blue with yellow trim, they featured a single cartoon rubber-ducky on the front of them. “These are very cute. Did you wear these especially for tonight?” “I...don’t really own many ‘cute’ things,” Grace said. “I had to go buy these at the store today.” “All that just for them to be replaced by a diaper.” “I bought them from the, uh, kids section. Honestly, it was the biggest size in that department - which I don’t think is far off from my usual size.” “Very cute,” said Harper. “I just thought that…maybe I’d try wearing something more juvenile.” “I almost hate to see the panties go to waste then. Alas, you’re wearing diapers tonight, because you’re too small for actual panties. Even if that might not actually be too far from the truth.” This was exactly what Grace wanted - needed - to hear. “Lie down on the changing table, baby.” A small “muh” escaped Grace’s lips - an infantile muttering that she didn’t know she was capable of. She stepped atop a small folding stool at the end of the table and climbed onto it, sprawling out onto her back. She had reservations on what the comfort of this table would be, and was pleasantly surprised by the feeling of the thick padding beneath her body as she lay there. “Someone is very excited to get their first diaper, huh?” asked Harper, looking down between Grace’s legs. “It would be my...second.” “Oh?” “Layne...he gave me one the other day.” “Ah, I see,” Harper said with a smile. “And you liked it so much that you needed more?” “I...wasn’t sure if I did it right.” “I’m not sure that there’s a wrong way to use a diaper.” Harper put her hand on Grace’s thigh, slowly grazing it across her flesh, slowly sinking into her inner-thigh. Harper watched as Grace started to moan, before biting her lip. “It made you feel good, right?” Harper asked. Grace nodded. “It made you feel so good that you can’t help yourself from dripping all over the changing table now, yes?” Grace nodded. “Then I don’t think you did anything wrong. But I do think we can do it better now. Would you like that?” “Uh huh,” more of a soft moan formed into the shape of words than they were actual words. Harper’s hand had reached the wetness between Grace’s legs. She carefully ran her fingers up Grace’s labia, catching the moisture on her fingertips. “Do you see?” asked Harper, showing Grace her glistening fingertips. “This is what being a little baby does to you.” Grace found her hands reaching up into the air, trying to grasp Harper’s hand. When she grabbed it, she pulled it towards her mouth, licking the fingers clean. “Well damn,” Harper said. “I can see you’re going to be trouble. Maybe you need some extra reminders of how small you are now.” Grace cocked her head to the side in curiosity as Harper bent down to the floor. When she popped back up again, she was holding Grace’s little ducky panties. Grace’s eyes grew big, nervous about what Harper was going to do with those. They barely fit her as it was - they wouldn’t fit over the diaper. Without a word, Harper shoved the panties down the front of Grace’s diaper, tucking it all the way down to the bottom, between her legs. “There we go, that’s much better. I’m afraid you’re not going to be able to keep your panties dry. It’s a good thing you’re in diapers.”

The rich hockey history and tradition down in coastal Florida sure is something, isnt it!?!

Part 9: “One…” Mae counted. Why did adults-um older adults- think that counting was so effective. I mean anyone can count, it’s not a hard thing to do, Paige thought. “Two”… Mae said more firmly, and Paige jumped a little. God think! Okay, maybe it was effective. At derailing Paige’s thoughts at least. But it wasnt going to change that she was staying in this room for the next million years. Okay, she could do this. She could hold out. She could just wait until they all left for work then come out. What was gonna happen if she didn’t open the door by the time her mom got to- “Thr-“ Mae didn’t even get the word out before Paige had quickly turned the lock and scampered back, grabbing for the discarded pajama shirt and pulling it over her head as the door opened. “Honey, why aren’t you dressed yet? Breakfast is getting cold and no one wants to start without you. And why was that door locked, young lady?” Mae asked, looking at her daughter who was struggling to find the arm holes of the purple long sleeved pajama shirt, the hem stuck around her nose. “Oh baby, let me do that”, Mae tutted, reaching out and twisting the shirt before pulling the girl’s arms through the holes. “Mom I can do I-“, Paige started, but she had barely started when her left hand was pulled through the cuff and released. While Mae disappeared behind her again, Paige looked down at the pastel hearts and ponies adorning the front of her shirt. Perhaps the only good thing to be said about the shirt is that there wasn’t too much of it. Though that didn’t feel so good just now. It stopped short an inch or two above the waistband of her goodnite and As Mae appeared with a matching garment, she tapped Paige’s calf signaling for her to put her foot inside. In seconds Mae was pulling the waistband up and straightening it out before patting Paige on the bottom and saying, “okay, let’s go, slowpoke, everyone is hungry and some of us have jobs to get to!” Looking down, Paige froze, however, cheeks blazing. She could see a solid inch of the goodnite still peeking out, and the slight outline of the padding was visible puffing out just a bit around her crotch. If she were a guy it wouldn’t be an issue, but save the few born with penises, not many girls had bulges there. The pajamas were thin, tapering down to thick purple bands near her ankles that matched the thick cuffs near her wrists. Peeking over her shoulder at the mirror, Paige could see that even more of the infantile garment was exposed below the top of the pants in the back. This was exactly what she would want to wear during a scene, but not one she felt comfortable wearing downstairs to breakfast. Blushing again at the slight warmth between her thighs, she finally spoke as her mom turned back towards her impatiently. “M-mooooom! I can’t wear this! It’s from when I was a little kid!” She whined. “Honey there’s nothing wrong with it, you’re only going to be in it until you finish your breakfast and get in the shower. It’ll be even less time if we can get a move on”. Mae answered, walking back and taking her daughter by the hand. “B-but you can see my di-my… you know!” Paige answered back with indignation. How could her mother think this was appropriate. “Honey, we all know about your diapers, you don’t have to hide that. Just pull your shirt down a little if it bothers you. Now let’s go, it’s getting late and your dad needs to be in early for a meeting today”, Mae said dismissively, tugging at her hand. Paige squeaked out a “nnnno! I-I have to change!”, resisting her mother’s tug and crossing her arms over her chest with finality. She was surprised when that seemed to work, when her mom immediately let go of her hand and looked sympathetic. “Oh honey, already? Okay let me see…”, Mae said, reaching towards Paige and pulling her pants down her thighs a bit. Paige didn’t have time to process what was going on let alone fully uncross her arms to prevent this before her mom had started squeezing the crotch of her pull-up… checking her pull-up. “Mmmoooooooom!” Paige squealed. She pushed her mom’s hands away and took a step backwards, stumbling a bit on her pants. She reached down and tugged them up as high as they would go. Paige’s mom was looking appraisingly at her now, a question on her face. Had she honestly thought that Paige meant… that!? “Okay, you’re dry, honey, and I’m starting to think you’re stalling on purpose. So I’m gonna make things easier”, Mae said this in that calm, practiced way that had led to most of the unpleasant parts of Paige’s first evening at home. “You have two choices sweetie; one, you take my hand and come down and have a nice breakfast with us like a good girl, or two, I have your father come carry you downstairs and you can spend breakfast standing in timeout. It is your choice, but either way you’re coming down to breakfast”. She held her hand calmly, waiting for her daughter. Paige thought about her options. She didn’t know if Mae was bluffing, but as doting as Jake seemed to be, and as big as he was, she didn’t want to test her mom. That and yesterday’s time out fiasco left her with only one option she could think of, so she grudgingly and wordlessly stuck out her hand and let her mom lead her out and down to breakfast with a, “good choice, honey”, and a quick nod from her mom. All the way into the kitchen and all through breakfast Paige was forced to tug at the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her pants, blushing as both Jake and Mia complimented her on her childish pajamas. Mae and Jake were each dressed for work, Jake in his suit and tie and Mae in her dental hygienist scrubs. Mia, too, was dressed, tight denim shorts hugging her curves and bright red lifeguard tank dipping below her ample cleavage. She looked like a supermodel, not some teenage lifeguard. Being the only one in pajamas, let alone such childish ones that showed off her pull-up beneath, hair mussed and face still matted with drool was bad enough, but at least if Mia looked more like what she was, a kid off to her summer job, Paige would feel better. The conversation went on around and over Paige, who just sat there, arms crossed, pushing yogurt around the dish in front of her, poking at the fruit and occasionally eating, (only the little bits of granola that weren’t touching the gross greek yogurt ), or drinking the apple juice in front of her. Even that tasted weird, grainier or something, but being that she wasn’t planning on touching anything else, she still managed to drink a full glass and a half. It was probably some health-nut version, she thought with a grimace as she took another sip and set it down on the table roughly. A little too roughly, perhaps, because as soon as she released her hand, the cup swayed a bit. Reaching out to keep it from tipping over, Paige knocked it further in the other direction, leaving it to tumble off the table to smash on the ground, but not before soaking her and the placemat with sticky juice. “Oh, Paige!” Mae shot up out of her chair and was already assessing the damage before Paige could get out a muted “oops”. “Oh honey, you’re soaked. You have to be more careful. Don’t move”, Mae said, as Mia came around the table with paper towels and Jake started picking up glass shards. “I’m sorry”, Paige said quietly, then “I can do that myself, you guys… just go and… I’ll just-”, but no one seemed to be listening, her mom returning with a dust pan which she handed to Jake, and pulling Paige up short as she started to tug at the waistband of her childish Pajamas. “Mmmmoooooom!” Paige squealed, trying and failing to keep her pants on her body as her mom removed them before retreating with them, saying, “it’s okay, wait right here Paigey”. Mia had disappeared somewhere as well and only Jake and Paige were now in the room, the former giving her a jovial ruffle of the hair and saying, “don’t sweat it, kiddo, accidents happen”, before returning to his task. Paige moved to stand up, but he caught her quickly under the armpits, depositing her easily back onto the chair where her bottom landed in a puddle of juice. “Not so fast, munchkin, you don’t have any shoes on, you’ll get glass in your feet”. Paige didn’t know if she should appreciate the thought or be offended, but one thing she was sure of is that she felt all of two inches tall right now. Here she was sitting at the table in a puddle wearing a childish pony pajama top that did nothing to cover her only other garment, a goodnite, while all around her the rest of the adults, all dressed and made up for the day, each buzzed about cleaning up after her spill. And she was being told that she couldn’t help without hurting herself… she should be completely repulsed by this, but honestly she could feel moisture in her goodnite that wasn’t from the apple juice. By the time Mae returned with a pack of baby wipes and a towel in hand, Jake had gotten most of the largest shards and Mia had started to vacuum. Without so much as a word to Paige, Mae started wiping her down with the baby wipes, and Jake plucked her off the seat like before so Mae could attack the back of her thighs before setting her down where a towel now sat on her chair. Paige didn’t even have time for more than a “hey! What!?” Before she was back in the chair, seated next to Mia, who had already returned the vaccuum to the closet. And then they were all back at the table and it was business as usual as if none of that had even happened, and Jake was talking about a coworker that they all seemed to know about, and who they shared a laugh over. Paige might have thought that she had dreamed the whole scene, except she had proof wrapped around her bottom. Not too much later, Jake headed out the door with a kiss on the cheek for Mia, a long sloppy kiss for Mae, and another hair ruffle and… a forehead kiss!? for Paige, who scowled back, doing her best to hide her goodnite as he came closer. Paige desperately needed to pee by now, her morning reserve not having been taken care of like she normally would have with a trip the bathroom right after waking up, distracted as she was by the chaos of her own bedwetting. She glanced at the clock hoping that the other two would soon be on their way; she wasn’t about to get up wearing nothing but a shirt and a goodnite in front of her mom and Mia. After clearing the table and wiping it down, Mia was the next to leave with a quick goodbye, and Paige just sat there, pretending to be wiping crumbs from the perfectly clean table, hoping that her mom would leave so she could finally go to the bathroom. “Okay, I’m heading out now too, honey, be a good girl and make sure to clean up after yourself, okay?”, Mae said, walking around the kitchen as she filled a travel mug with coffee and grabbed her purse and keys before coming over to kiss Paige and give her a big hug. “Mooooooom, I’m not a baby,” Paige whined, but she felt the irony as her mom chose that moment to squeeze the crotch of her pull-up. And to her horror it didn’t resist the way a dry diaper does, but instead gave way with a distinct squishiness of a faintly damp pull-up. “Mmmhmm” her mom dismissed her, then “oh dear, I was going to suggest that you try to sit on the potty, but I guess I should have taken you earlier”. “Huh?”, Paige stared back, “N-no, I… i didn’t- it’s just… it’s the… the juice! Really! No really, mom, it is!”, Paige stammered back, genuinely dumbfounded that her mom could be obtuse enough not to realize that, but she could see that her arguments weren’t having the effect she thought. “Honey, diapers don’t let moisture in through the middle, the only place the juice could have soaked into is the leg holes, and your diaper-“ “It’s not a diaper and it’s not-“, Paige shouted, cutting her mom off and slamming her fist on the table while her mom silenced her with one finger. “That’s strike two already for attitude, Paige. Don’t think that I didn’t hear the way you yelled at your sister when all she did was try to help this morning”, Mae said, seriously. Paige wanted to argue back, but honestly, Mia had just been coming to get her comforter for the wash after all… what could she really say in her defense… “And even after you acted like a brat to her, she still came to your defense, and convinced me to cut you some slack”, Mae shook her head. “Sh-she did?”, Paige asked, in disbelief. “Yes, honey. She’s also the one who told me to back off on you about the whole bathroom thing… though I think you proved her wrong there…”, Mae said, gesturing towards Paige’s waist. “Mom, it really is apple juice! It is. I swear”, Paige said, but she had no answer when her mom asked again about how it would have soaked into the middle of her pull-up like that. Her mom wasn’t wrong, it really didn’t make sense. Paige knew more about diapers than most, and if the juice was going to soak in through the legs it would be wetter there than in the middle… and would much even soak in that way? But she knew she hadn’t had an accident. She was feeling on the brink of one now… but she knew she hadn’t done that! I mean, yeah, she had been a bit aroused at one point, but it couldn’t have been that much, and she certainly wasn’t about to tell her mom about that. This didn’t make any sense. Had she really dribbled and not noticed? She had wet the bed last night after all. But she had never done that before as an adult before this, let alone have an accident without knowing about it. Maybe she should actually go see a doctor, she thought, but the idea was too stressful. Had she brought this on herself with her lies? As much as she liked diapers, she didn’t love the possible reality of actually needing them as much as she liked the idea in the abstract, imaginary way. Oh god, was she going to have to wear diapers for the rest of her life? What would she do when she went swimming?! Would she have to tell everyone? Would people all know? Paige could feel the anxiety getting the better of her when she felt gentle hands pulling her in for a hug, felt the warmth of her mom’s next and the smell of her perfume and the soothing “shhhhhhh” as she scratched Paige’s back gently with her nails. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m not mad at you, accidents happen, it’s okay”, her mom soothed as Paige unclenched her jaw. Mae’s hand moved up to her daughter’s neck where she gently stroked her hairline. Paige didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t imagined this response from her mom. She could feel her muscles unclench just a little and she felt completely exhausted all of a sudden. Too soon though, her mom stopped rubbing and stood back up, gently brushing Paige’s hair behind her ears. “You’re so tense, hunny. Why don’t you go take a bath then take a quick nap? You’ll feel much better”, Mae said kindly. “Y-yeah”, Paige nodded, still feeling at a loss. “Thanks, mom. I-I think I’ll do that”. “Okay, good. I bet everything will feel better when you get up. Don’t forget to put a clean pull-up on before your nap, sweetie”, Mae said, kissing the top of her daughter’s head, and then retreating to the kitchen door. Paige watched her go and waited until she could hear her car start up and pull away before she got up from the table and looked down at herself. While she could certainly appreciate the feeling of the slightly swollen padding rubbing against her, and the sight of the childish garment on display beneath her pajama shirt- in her kitchen of all places- the anxiety and the confusion about her accident last night and again today had her too tense to really enjoy it. Making it to the toilet to empty the rest of her bladder felt good physically, but it didn’t make her feel any more adult as the soggy goodnite sat on the ground under her feet. The shower helped a bit, and she was feeling totally exhausted by the time she got back to her room. She thought about taking a break from the goodnites and putting on some of her regular underwear for her nap, but the idea of wearing them around the house without consequence was too good to pass up, so she slid a new flowery pair up her legs and then looked in her drawers for some clothes. It seemed like everything she had left here there was ancient. She had basically been living out of a suitcase, or rather laundry basket after her mom washed her dirty clothes, the last few visits home, so she really hadn’t needed to dip into these rejects that hadn’t made the cut to come to college with her. Not in the mood to lug the trash bags upstairs and still hoping that her mom would cave and simply do it for her, especially with how kind and understanding she had been this morning, Paige sighed and pulled out an old powder blue T-shirt which felt soft and well worn. She blushingly recognized it as her old favorite my little pony one. Smirking, she pulled it on and looked in the mirror. Much like the pajama shirt, it wasn’t a bad fit but for the fact that it didn’t quite come to the waistband of her goodnites. She opened a few more drawers and then pulled on a plain pair of pastel shorts. Patting her damp hair down the middle, she quickly made two braids and looked at herself again in the mirror. The effect was to make her look significantly younger than she thought possible. While it wasn’t completely uncommon for Paige to put her hair into pigtails, she never wore clothing that looked quite this childish at school, probably hadn’t in years. Coupled with the goodnite, which peeked over the top of the shorts, Paige couldn’t help but smile at her choices. She would definitely change before anyone else got home, she thought, but for now she felt clean and comfy and, yawning, she made her way back downstairs to the couch where she lay down and was asleep before the first episode of boss baby was even over.

Part 7 The crying just kept up, I couldn't stop myself. This fantasy I was enjoying was quickly spinning out of control in ways I never could have seen. Sarah, or I guess now she was legally my mommy... mommy rolled me into the womans washroom. She rolled me up to a changing table, pulled it down, read the fine print on it, pushed down to test it would hold up and then pulled me out of the stroller and plopped me on the pull down change table. I thought it might break, but it held. I kept bawling the whole time, even when mommy pupped a pacifier in, I just spit it out. I hated drawing attention to myself, but I couldn't help it after what just happened. She made sure I was locked on the table by using the safety strap and she got to work. "Oooooh baby, such a tinky baby you are, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you areeeee" She cooed. I just kept crying. *scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch* "Well let's see what kind of yuck yuck present you left mommy." She pulled the diaper down. "P-U baby!" She giggled and waved her hand in front of her nose. "Baby Jaclyn really does make mommy work huh?" At the sound of my new name, it just re-ignited my crying to the most it had been. Mommy was humming a tune while getting me cleaned up. She took the old diaper away and slid a new clean one under me and got me taped up and popped the onesie back up and put me back in the stroller. "Look baby" she held my rolled up stinky diaper in front of me. "You make such big messies that they barely fit in this garbage can for diapeys!" She found it funny and giggled. I still cried. "Still being a sulky baby huh? Mommy really thought it was because you were a big stinky girl, but now that your clean, what's the matter missy?" Girl? Missy? I just sobbed "Well mommy will try one last thing to cheer you up, it's new for mommy but I'm willing to give it a shot for you princess" She rolled us out of the womens bathroom and into a door on the left. Huh? I saw the mens was directly across from the womens bathroom... where were we going? Inside this room there were several couches, a few big puffy armed reclining chairs and even a rocking chair. The room was empty and there was a big screen TV in the room playing the news on very low volume. What the heck? Mommy pulled me out of the stroller and sat me on the couch, which was facing two reclining chairs. She sat on the couch too and pulled me into her lap. Oh no... any other time I would gladly do this... but not now... Mommy started to unbotton her blouse, pulled it aside to reveal her bra. She then reached up and unlatched the cup and one of her beautiful breasts sprang free. "I know mommy isn't making any milk yet, but maybe some mother daughter bonding, skin to skin contact would calm you down" She tried to turn my head towards her nipple, but at the mention of daughter again it made me cry again. "Shhhh, shhhh come on baby, I know you'll enjoy this...shhhhhh" As she said that, the door opened and I could hear another person rolling a stroller in. Oh no, this was about to be way more embarassing... if I'd only known how much... The woman came in, sat down across from mommy. "Whoa... what do we... ahhhh, ow ow...sorry, what do we have here?" "Just trying to console my daughter with a little mommy daughter bonding, but she seems inconsollable" Mommy proceed to explain the situation, who I was to her, my breakdown, accidents and subsequent regression. "So he," "She." "So she just has the mind of an infant now?" "Yep, she's just a little peepee and boom boom machine now" Mommy giggled. "What about you, you seem like your in a bit of pain?" "I am! Ahhhh, oooh, ow, ow my breasts are full to the point of being painful, but my darling little daughter here, doesn't want to latch and help mommy out. I think she's out grown her mommies boobie milk." The woman frowned. This womens voice... sounded really familiar. Like I'd heard it before... "Well, I know it's not the most conventional thing in the world... but... my little girl hasn't had much to eat today, and I'm not producing milk yet. So maybe we could swap babies and my little one could help give you relief?" Mommy said. "Ahhhh I don't know, it's a bit odd... ahhhh, owwwwwww. Shoot, ok fine, I need relief, like right now! Let's switch" Mommy took this ladies baby and I was settle in this womans lap. "Ooof, your a bit of a big baby girl eh" The woman stated. I had turned my head into her so she couldn't get a good look at me. Her breast was already out. She moved her breast so the erect nipple was brushing my cheek near my mouth. And then I latched. "Oh, not like that baby, use your tongue to create... oh... yeah, you got it... Oooooooooh! oh that feels sooooo much better!" I sucked away and kept drinking. Atleast I was awake this time. Being cradled, sucking on a nipple, getting delicious milk out, it did wonders to calm me down... the milk tasted like the leftover milk after sweet cereal. I was still concerned with where I recognized the voice from though. As I could feel the breast almost running dry, the woman asked. "So what did you say your babies name was?" "Her new name is Jaclyn Susan Smith" Mommy beamed proudly. "Awwwh what a cute name baby!" She used a finger to dislodge the suction of my mouth on her breast. As she was getting me settled on the other side, mommy unknowingly dropped a bomb. "Much better then Jackson Kyle Stewart, don't you think?" "WHAT?!" the woman shouted. "Huh? Whats the matter?" Mommy said The woman tilted my head and finally looked directly into my face. "OMG! I knew he looked familiar! OMG! teehee... I... just... I just breastfed an ex-boyfriend.... teehee ahaha... that has the mind of a baby... ahahahaha" She laughed. "You two knew each other?" "Yep back when Jackie-wackie was still a big boy, we went out for like 6 months, isn't that right Jaclyn?" OMG this was so incredibly humiliating... but I couldn't even react to it, or I'd blow my cover... oh my god... I just drank my ex-girlfriends breastmilk... to be fair it was delicious, but still so weird. I had to respond. "Bwuhfwrend?" "Yes baby girl, you were my boyfriend, teehee, ohhh this is so surreal" my ex Janet said. "Well I can take her back if you'd like, if it's too weird now" Mommy told her. "No no, it's all good, I really do need the relief and my other breast has already started to let down, so I need to get it out. Besides, baby Jaclyn made me feel so good in those ten minutes, much more than big boy Jackson did in our entire six months, if you know what I mean" She winked at mommy and mommy giggled. "Of course" Ughhh that hurt to hear... my eyes got misty again. "Come on Jackie, latch on again" I did as instructed. I enjoyed the first breastfeeding so I was sure as hell going to enjoy this part, even if the rest was some horrible mix of humiliation and sadness. As I sucked away Janet was patting the front of my diaper, until she suddenly stopped. "Oh my god, she is such a baby now, she's peeing while she's still suckling! Teehee boobie milk must flow right through you Jackie" She smiled down at me. As I continued to suckle away, a new horrible conversation was starting. "So, you changed her name and legal gender, but how far are you taking it? Will the next time I see Jaclyn will she have cute boobies of her own or... swapping out the peepee for a veevee, if you know what I mean?" She winked at mommy again. "Hmmmm I haven't given that much thought to be honest, I wanted to raise her as a girl because girls are just more fun. The clothes for little girls are just wayyyy cuter, my girl is going to have closets full of cute, satiny, poofy baby dresses, no more pants for this girl, closest thing she'll get is some ruffle tights! heeheehe" Mommy giggled. "Ugh you are so right, boys clothes are so boring, onesies, shorts, overalls, blech, boring!" Janet stated. "As for her peepee, hmmm I didn't give it much thought, but that may be a good idea. While she may be baby brained, her peepee still reacts like you would expect, which can sometimes make changing her didees a hassle" "Ohhh right, if she was an actual adult you could pump her a few times and resolve the issue, but with a baby I can see how that might be an issue..." "I bought Jackie a few massive teddy bears for around the house and her crib, so that she can either figure it out on her own, or I'll have to teach her how to... uhhh... make stickies" mommy said. "Ahaha make stickies, that's so cute! Well if that doesn't work, as a last resort you could just set her up to be milked regularly" Janet said. "Huh? I don't follow..." "You know, sticking a finger in her bottom and giving her little button a rub? I know, I know, it's not much better then the other thing, still might feel like violating your precious baby, but it is a medical procedure and she will need relief, a finger is no different then putting a thermometer in her heiny to take her temperature. Or if you're really uncomfortable, you can get a doctor, nurse or hire someone to do it for you" "Oooooh you mean hire someone to give her a prostate massage, hmmm it's an idea, maybe use it as a treat if my little girl is really good. Although I'll certainly put some thought into the veevee idea." I had long passed out at this point, after all the crying, the breastfeeding, half way through the second breast I kind of just passed out and went on auto pilot, missing all of the important conversation. *Pop* Janet stuck her finger inbetween my mouth and her breast and it made an audible pop. "Well it looks like your little one conked out, but oh my god I feel so much better" Janet proceeded to maneuver me so I was sitting on her knees and my head was limp over her shoulder. She started to rub my back gently and started to bounce me on her knees a bit. All of a sudden *Burrrrp!* "Good girl Jackie! Hey, would you mind taking a pic of us with my phone?" Janet asked. "No one will believe that story and I... kinda want a picture just for me, this was hilarious and very cute." She maneuvered me back so I was cradled in her arms and mommy took the pic. "Awwh she looks so sweet, well I think we should trade babies back and we should both get going" Janet managed to wiggle me over and deposit me back into the stroller as mommy handed her her baby back. "Well, if you ever want to come see Jaclyn again and bring your little girl over for a playdate, I put my number in your phone after I took the pic" Mommy winked. "For sure! That would be crazy, but I think Jackie would love that. See ya later Sarah" Janet said as she rolled out with her baby. Mommy and me left shortly after, before finally getting home. "Jaclyn... Jackie, wake up sweetie, we're home! I can't wait to show you all the fun new things I got for you!" (I really hope you guys enjoy this part, I know some have issues with the path this is on, but I really don't care. I wrote what I wrote and enjoyed doing it. For those who want to criticize too, I don't give a toss, really. I initially had a lot of fun writing this scene. It was the first one which came to mind when I first thought of writing an ABDL story, being reduced to the level of an infant, being breast fed by an ex-girlfriend? Someone you used to be on the same level and romantic with? How humiliating it took a lot of writing to actually get to this scenario, but I thought it turned out ok Enjoy)

I'm wearing my Christmas themed training pants... time to do a load of wash.

Weighted blanket, fan and Daddy's warm lap. Instant sleep.

My room has to be cold and the fans need to be on all at full blast. I can't sleep without the fans on. I was having trouble sleeping awhile ago and looked something up and found a trick they do in the military to fall to sleep quickly. Try your best to think about something easy to think about, something that rests your mind. Next lay flat on your back with your limbs stretched out (or put in a relaxing position that's comfortable to you.) and just lay. Personally My limbs are almost never fully stretched as that's not comfortable for me, but once I find a good position for my limbs that usually works pretty well for me.

How does Charr knock himself out so fast? The solution lies right with the diapers we wear

Music works for me. Also there are many sleep sound (rain, waves, forest, crickets, etc.) apps that may do the trick. You could try a paci if you don't already use one.

a cool pillow, heavy blankets, and sleeping in a "cold" room (50'F)...works for me

I loved wearing diapers to school, I never had to get up to go pee I could just wait for recess or lunch and get my diaper changed. Sitting in a poopy diaper does feel good but not as good as making a poopy diaper, wouldn’t you agree?

This is a sequel to Baby's Unexpected Trip. --- Morning for Jackie always followed the same routine. At just about 7:00 in the morning, her mother would cheerfully burst into Jackie's nursery to wake her up. From there, she would waste little time in getting Jackie out of her crib and eventually downstairs and into the kitchen, where a highchair and a steaming bowl of supposedly yummy oatmeal waited for Jackie. If it was the weekend, this might be pushed back to 8 or even 9 if her mother decided to sleep in, but Jackie was always sure that this would be how her day would start. On most days, the routine continued. On weekdays, Jackie's mother would just be finishing feeding her oversized baby when Jackie's babysitter would come in for the day around 7:30. For the first six months of Jackie's second babyhood, her mother had stayed home with her constantly, but after some reflection she had decided that just because Baby Jackie needed to be cared for didn't mean that she had to give up her career to do so. Soon thereafter, she had once again returned to her law career, having hired a young woman Jackie only knew as Nanny Michelle to provide care for Jackie while she and her husband were at work. Most weekdays, Jackie wound up only seeing her parents for a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes in the afternoon. With Jackie's 7:00 bedtime, her mother usually only got home in time for the end of Jackie's dinner and then bath time before Jackie went to bed. Her father was often lucky if he even got home before 7 at all, as he had a longer commute. The result was that, five days a week, Nanny was the true authority that Jackie had to deal with, and in many ways she was the one who had dictated Jackie's routine for the last several months. Most days though, the routine followed a fairly similar pattern to the one that it had followed when Jackie's mother had still been the one who kept her as a baby. Nanny would usually feed Jackie her bottles with breakfast while her parents got ready for work and then hit the road for the day. In the meantime, Jackie would be changed out of her soaked overnight diaper and prepared for another humiliating but also uneventful day of being an adult baby. Though Nanny was somehow even better at humiliating Jackie than her mother had been, Jackie still found that most of the day was just an exercise in avoiding boredom. It was only a fairly rare occasion that saw the routine interrupted. This Tuesday morning, however, was to be one of those days for Jackie. Her father had already left and her mother had just planted a kiss on her forehead on the way out as she slurped down the last of her formula when Nanny broke the news that today would break the normal pattern for Jackie. “When you are finished we are going to change you into something all nice and pretty. Your friend Tori and her Nanny are coming over for a visit. Aren't you excited?” With the bottle still in her mouth, Jackie couldn't respond, though she probably would not have been expected to either way. Still, she was glad of the excuse, because this way she didn't have to try to feign enthusiasm. Play dates were desperately strange affairs. Since Nanny Michelle had begun babysitting for Jackie, the circle of “friends” that Jackie had had expanded from one girl, Stephanie, to a total of four. By now, Jackie was participating in these meetings about every other week, but she still found them to be the most bizarre and awkward thing in the world. Before the first time that she had had a play date with Stephanie, she would never have believed that there was a single other person out there who was experiencing the same strange treatment that she was. After several play dates with Stephanie, she had known that there had been at least one other out there (and in her neighborhood) but she still assumed that they were isolated cases. But, best as she could tell, Stephanie's nanny had gotten Nanny Michelle in touch with some more of Stephanie's “friends'” caregivers, and now Jackie had no idea what to think about how many other women shared her predicament. Jackie didn't have misgivings about play dates because they weren't fun: they weren't fun, but nothing about being her parents' big baby was fun. She also didn't have any problem with any of the girls, or at least not really. What was really awkward about them was that she didn't know anything about the girls that she was supposed to be friends with, and she couldn't. All of the girls that she played with were under similar rules as she was, and were not really allowed to talk, and certainly never at anything beyond the most babyish and superficial levels. The news that Tori would be coming today promised a particular level of awkwardness that could not be replicated with any of the other babies that Jackie had met during her nearly a year of enforced infancy. She had decided that she liked Stephanie the best, probably because they had played together the most often and had developed a little bit more of an understanding of what would happen when they met than she had developed with any of the other girls. Beyond that, she could at least commiserate with Shelly and Martha, as they were both seemingly about the same age that Jackie was and seemingly had somewhat similar stories, even if why they had been reintroduced to infancy was unknown to Jackie. But Tori was different. As far as Jackie could tell she was at least in her late thirties, though Jackie would believe it if she found out she was even a little older than that. Her maturity made it hard for Jackie to think of her in the same way that she thought of herself and the other unfortunate women, and, at least for her, made the play dates even more awkward. Soon Nanny pulled the bottle out from between her lips and used the clean corners of her bib to wipe the stray oatmeal off of her face. “Time to get down,” she announced as she removed the highchair's tray and grabbed Jackie by her sides and slid her feet to the floor. Jackie didn't need to be told what to do next. She quickly dropped down to her hands and knees and began the crawling procession up the stairs and back into her nursery. When Nanny had arrived on the scene, Jackie's mother had decided to alter the morning routine somewhat by putting off Jackie's morning change until after breakfast. Jackie had to admit that the change made sense, even if she would have preferred to get out of her sopping wet, extra thick nighttime diaper as soon as possible. Her mother had reasoned that the diaper would definitely make it through breakfast, and that by having Nanny change her she would be able to feed Jackie her oatmeal and still have time to get ready for work herself. She also said that any food that missed her bib would just trickle onto her nightwear, which was usually a footed sleeper or a nighty, both of which were easier to clean and less fancy than most of the baby clothes that Jackie wore during the day. Food didn't often miss Jackie's bib, but there were enough little stains on all of her clothes to make it clear that it did happen enough to be considered a possibility. In the nursery, Nanny quickly boosted Jackie into a sitting position on the changing table. She unzipped Jackie's plain, pastel yellow footed sleeper and took it off, instructing Jackie to lay back on the table as she deposited the sleeper into the hamper for washing. Jackie knew there was no reason not to comply, especially when she would get a clean diaper out of the bargain, and did as she was told. Nanny was all business with the first change of the day, quickly getting Jackie's diaper untaped and pulling it back to reveal a thoroughly yellowed front panel and Jackie's perfectly hairless crotch. Nanny deftly grabbed both of Jackie's ankles in her left hand and lifted Jackie's legs high in the air, bringing Jackie's bottom off of the soaking wet diaper for the first time in several hours. With her free hand, Nanny grabbed a wipe from the nearby container and set to work cleaning Jackie up. She began in the front, and the cold wipe caused Jackie to squirm a bit, involuntarily wiggling and slightly kicking her feet, though Nanny had little trouble holding onto them. Deliberately or not, Nanny misinterpreted the response. “Oh you naughty little girl, don't get excited just because Nanny is wiping your little pee-pee! What a little devil you are.” Jackie blushed a thousand shades of red. Nanny Michelle was a master of humiliation, and one of her best tricks was to use Jackie's sexuality against her. Unlike her first several months of babified frustration, Jackie was occasionally now allowed to achieve orgasm under Nanny's watchful eye. However, while it was extremely pleasurable in the moment, Nanny used it as a tool to keep Jackie thoroughly humiliated. She would spend days making comments clearly designed to make Jackie increasingly desirous of release without ever allowing Jackie that moment of pleasure that was forbidden without express permission, only to then allow Jackie some form of release in a manner that was sure to somehow confirm Jackie's babyish status and make her wish soon after that she had resisted the temptation. In this morning's case, Jackie had not really been aroused, though she noted that Nanny had definitely been trying to turn her mind to sexual thoughts for much of the last week through a number of subtle and not-so-subtle hints. Her suggestion just now had worked. Even in her embarrassment, Jackie became somewhat aroused, and suddenly Nanny's gentle wiping of her crotch was sending small shivers through Jackie's body that had little to do with the coldness of the wipe. Nanny clearly had no intention of letting Jackie reach a climax though, and after just a few short moments a frustrated Jackie was powdered and taped into a thirsty new diaper. She once again helped Jackie up into a seated position with her legs dangling over the side of the changing table. Nanny retreated to the closet and searched for an outfit for Jackie to wear. Play dates were a special occasion for Jackie, and so she was always dressed up in some of her nicest (and most humiliating) outfits for the occasions. She was almost always dressed in something that made her look like a simpering little girl, but at least at home she might once in a while be placed in just a simple onesie that didn't leave her feeling like she was someone's doll. On Nanny's return, Jackie could see that she was indeed carrying an outfit that would be very festive and very humiliating. Nanny set down a dress next to Jackie on the table and set to work pulling up a pair of white tights over Jackie's legs. The tights were mostly plain, but on the back they had several rows of frills that stretched over her bottom and generated some extra emphasis to Jackie's diapered behind. Next came the dress. It was a fairly neutral pink color, and nothing that Jackie found too loud. It clung tightly to her chest and gathered with a single row of white lace on each arm. What Jackie really didn't like was the bottom. Really only just below her breasts began a comically large white tutu. The bottom of the garment just barely stretched to the somewhat high waistline of Jackie's tights, leaving her diapers painfully visible, which caused Jackie distress even though she knew that everyone who would be at the house today would be fully expecting Jackie to be both wearing and using diapers. Nanny then went to work with accessories. She added a plain white bonnet with a frilled brim to the top of Jackie's head, tying the lace straps into a comically large bow under Jackie's chin and leaving her entire face framed by white lace, with her hair hanging down in a pair of ponytails that came out of each side of the bonnet. Next Nanny added a pair of white, high-top shoes over Jackie's feet. She switched out the red pacifier that Jackie had been sucking for a pink binky that better matched the dress. Finally, Nanny produced a pair of white mittens for Jackie to wear. With a sigh, Jackie held out each hand and allowed Nanny to tie them tightly onto each hand. Jackie didn't often wear mittens, but she hated when she did. They gave her only a minimal ability to move her fingers autonomously, and left her unable to lift even the dolls and blocks she spent her day idly playing with without very carefully using two hands, which Nanny loved to watch and comment on. Dressed to the nines, Jackie was slid off the changing table and crawled back to the top of the stairs, where she flipped positions and bumped down on her bottom as she was supposed to. As was the default in the morning, she made her way to her playpen to begin “playing.” Once Jackie got into the playpen, Nanny made an announcement. “Your friend will be here in about an hour, baby, so Nanny is going to work out now before we have to entertain our guests.” With that, Nanny slightly lifted one end of the playpen and began rolling it out of the living room. The oversized device had wheels on one end so that it could be moved somewhat like a wheelbarrow in the case that whoever was watching Jackie wanted to have her be in a different room. Nanny had free use of the family's quite nice home gym, so she frequently made use of the wheels and brought Jackie into the gym so that she kept out of trouble during workouts. Arriving in the gym, Jackie was set off to the side while Nanny set to work. Jackie watched Nanny exercise almost daily, and it reminded her of just how much of a specimen Nanny was. When they had first met, Jackie had immediately guessed that part of the reason her parents had chosen her to babysit was her physical presence. Though Jackie was no more than an inch or two shorter than average, Nanny was more than a head taller than her even when Jackie was standing. Given that Jackie spent most of her time on the floor, however, she was often looking way up at Nanny, who would seem to tower over her when Jackie had been naughty and was forced to make eye contact as Nanny scolded her. Beyond her height though, Nanny was one of the stronger women Jackie had ever met. Her muscularity was somewhat clear at first glance, but watching her exercise, it was beyond apparent. She could absolutely manhandle weights Jackie couldn't imagine lifting, and her legs and core were clearly especially strong. If Jackie had had any doubt about Nanny's strength, it had been dismissed the first time that Nanny had picked her up. Though Jackie wasn't heavy by any means, her 120 or so pounds were more than either of her parents would even consider trying to lift, and so Jackie had been more than a little surprised when Nanny had first done it. Now it was a somewhat regular occurrence and Nanny had even acquired a device that allowed her to carry Jackie on her chest while out walking or hiking, though she had only used it a handful of times because there was little practical need to be carrying Jackie around for long periods of time and it was fairly difficult to get set up since Jackie couldn't easily be lifted into it while Nanny was already wearing it the way that a real baby would be. From Jackie's perspective, the less use the device got, the better. In order for it to be at all feasible to walk in for Nanny, it had to make up for the fact that Jackie's legs were in the way, which it did by forcing her knees to bend up and wide of her body in a way that reminded Jackie of a wider version of a baseball catcher's crouch. The result was that Jackie's bottom, supported by the sturdy carrying device, would hang just below Nanny's waist and her feet would dangle near her hips, while Jackie's head would be stuck facing Nanny a few inches below her chin. The position was extremely uncomfortable, but also extremely embarrassing, as Jackie was stuck in direct contact with Nanny and not even able to see who might be looking at her in her extraordinarily babyish position. Watching Nanny Michelle work out didn't just remind Jackie of how strong the imposing young woman was. It also reminded Jackie of how weak she was at the moment. While she had certainly never been a powerlifter or anything of the sort, in her prime Jackie had been a pretty good high school athlete and had always prided herself on being fit. Now though, after a year in which she hadn't so much as walked more than a few steps a day, Jackie's body was a shell. She hadn't really gained any weight, but she had lost virtually all muscle tone and was left with only a little more strength than she had had in grade school. If she were allowed to grow up tomorrow, Jackie imagined she would probably have to go through the process of really learning how to walk again, much like a toddler, which was a totally chilling realization and almost made her dread such an occurrence (though not enough that she didn't want the chance to grow up once more). With the guests coming, Nanny kept her workout fairly short, though to Jackie it was still thoroughly impressive. Nanny was no more than a little sweaty, so she decided that she was alright without a full shower. Instead she quickly took a towel and dabbed a little sweat, then she removed her shirt and applied some deodorant. Whenever this happened in front of Jackie, she couldn't help but stare. She wasn't sexually attracted to Nanny, but her impressive figure was like a magnet, and Jackie could only look on jealously before Nanny put on another shirt that she had brought for just this instance and then wheeled Jackie back out into the living room. Jackie busied herself trying to find amusement in a doll to pass the time before Tori arrived, while Nanny moved around the living room and kitchen taking care of a few small messes and then attending to her messages on her phone. It wasn't too long before the doorbell rang. Jackie didn't need to be told, but Nanny still announced “Ooh, baby, that must be your friend!” Jackie wasn't expected to go anywhere, and so she stayed put in her playpen while Nanny went to the door. Waiting, Jackie found her heart racing, not from excitement but from dread. Play dates represented a deviation from the routine that left her thoroughly bored, but they also put Jackie in scenarios that opened her up to the potential for intense levels of humiliation that were unlikely to be reached on a normal day unless Nanny was in particularly devastating form. It wasn't long until Jackie could hear the party returning to the living room. Looking up she saw that Nanny Michelle had actually carried Tori into the room, holding her on her hip with just one hand supporting a rather scared looking Tori around the waist while Tori's legs wrapped rather tightly around Nanny's torso. Jackie couldn't blame her. The first several times Nanny had lifted her she hadn't been confident that she could hold her, and Tori was even a little bit bigger than Jackie was. Following closely behind Nanny Michelle and Tori was Tori's own babysitter, Miss Ashley. Jackie didn't really know much about her, but then again she really didn't need to. From what Jackie could tell though, Miss Ashley was much closer to her age than to Tori's. If she had to guess, Jackie would say that she was probably about 27. She suspected that having a babysitter so much younger than her was a point that only reinforced the misery of Tori's situation to her. Miss Ashley had tastefully tan skin and long auburn hair that hung down to the middle of her back in a loose pony tail. At maybe 5'6 on a good day, she was really no bigger than her charge, and she didn't seem to possess the same insane level of strength that Nanny did, but Jackie could tell that despite her lack of a bullying physical presence she had Tori completely under her thumb. Miss Ashley moved into the room and immediately came over to the playpen where Jackie was sitting uselessly on the canvas floor surrounded by her infantile distractions. She bent over the side and gave Jackie a kiss on the forehead. “I love that dress! You look so cute I could eat you up!” she said, pinching Jackie's cheeks as she did in what Jackie was almost sure could pass as a parody of how adults greeted actual tots. “Do you have a kiss for Miss Ashley?” Jackie didn't really want to give Miss Ashley a kiss, but she knew that the question was really a command, and so she tilted her head up so that Miss Ashley could remove her pacifier and then planted her open mouth on Miss Ashley's offered cheek, shouting “MMMAAH” as she rather deliberately left a little more saliva behind with her tongue than was strictly necessary. “Good girl,” Miss Ashley responded, planting one more kiss on Jackie's forehead before replacing the rubber nipple in Jackie's mouth and stepping back. Nanny quickly stepped over to the edge of the playpen and deftly swung Tori around so that she had a hand in each armpit and then lowered her down into the playpen. The middle-aged baby looked glad just to be on solid ground again, even if that ground was the canvas floor of an oversized playpen. “Oh, you two must be so excited! Go ahead and give each other a big hug,” commanded Miss Ashley. Not needing to get themselves in trouble so early in the morning, Jackie and Tori quickly got to their knees and began to move towards each other, locking eyes with looks that were half sympathetic and half apologetic. They soon gave each other squeezes with feigned enthusiasm. Jackie began to let go, but Tori was still squeezing, so she quickly wrapped her arms back around her, only to have Tori start to let go herself. It was always difficult to know how long a hug that was almost entirely for show should last. Nanny Michelle reached into the playpen once more and removed Jackie's pacifier once again. “Now a biiiiig kiss,” she ordered. This was the weirdest part of the greeting ritual at play dates for sure. They leaned in once more, hugging again as they were supposed to, but this time their heads did not go onto each others' shoulder, but rather their faces came in, both straight up with their chins extended somewhat so that they would not hit noses, which both had learned in the past was an awkward hazard of trying to platonically kiss on the lips. Their mouths met wide open with their tongues stuck slightly out, almost as if they had been told how to make out with someone but hadn't quite been able to picture it and were doing it wrong. They both began an overly exaggerated kissing noise, practically all of which was muffled by the fact that their tongues were touching and the sound was mostly reverberating in their open mouths. Still, Nanny Michelle and Miss Ashley were more than satisfied with the ridiculous spectacle and played their parts well by giving adoring “Awws” as the babied women pulled back. Nanny reached into the playpen once more, reinserting Jackie's trusty pacifier into her mouth. Meanwhile, Miss Ashley reached into the baby bag that she had brought for Tori and produced a small wooden box with shapes cut out of one side, which Jackie could soon see was one of those toys designed to teach toddlers about shapes by having them put small blocks through the corresponding holes in the box. “I brought your favorite toy, Tori, but you have to share with Baby Jackie. Why don't you take one turn and then she can take one turn? Doesn't that sound fun?” The way that Tori's face immediately contorted into a frown and a blush told Jackie that the toy might not really be a favorite of her companion, but to Jackie the toy seemed at least a little more involved than most of the ones that she had, so she wasn't totally going to complain. Besides, it gave them something they were supposed to be doing, which erased the awkwardness of having to figure out how to pass the time cooped up in a playpen together. As she walked over to the couch to join Nanny, Jackie heard Miss Ashley say “I swear sometimes she plays with that toy the whole day long. She's pretty smart for such a little baby!” which caused Nanny to fall into a fit of giggles. Tori turned the box so that the one side that had a large opening in the bottom was facing downwards causing the plastic blocks of various shapes to fall to the floor. Jackie could now hear that each of the blocks doubled as a little rattle as well. Tory placed the box between them and dutifully took her turn, drawing some vague noises of praise from the caregivers across the room. Jackie reached for the box and rolled it onto its side so that the pieces fell out, then flipped it back upright. The task was extremely menial. There was a circle, a square, a triangle, and a star, and a corresponding hole for each. But as Jackie tried to pick up the fairly small shapes, she remembered that her mittens were going to be a problem. It took Jackie two hands to pick up the small circle, but it slipped out of the gloves before she could get it to its destination, so she was forced to try again. This time, she pinched it between her two hands and then turned her hands so that her right hand was cradling the little disc. She brought it over, but realized she couldn't really transfer the object from her palm to the hole without the use of her thumb, which was pinned uselessly next to the rest of her fingers and couldn't grasp a thing. Still, she let the block slide off onto the top of the box, and she was able to push the block from there easily into the correct hole. She repeated that procedure a little more gracefully with the square and the star, leaving her only the triangle, which she duly picked up and deposited on top of the box. However, as it slid off of her hand it went straight through the square-shaped hole, which Jackie hadn't even realized was the same size as the triangle only twice as large. Tori couldn't help herself. Though her eyes had a look of sympathy, she chuckled slightly at Jackie's misfortune. The babysitters had seen what had happened, and Miss Ashley quickly interjected. “Be nice, Tori, or you will find yourself in timeout,” she said forcefully. “Jackie hasn't played with this toy before, so she is just learning. Now give her a hug and say you are sorry.” Jackie was mortified at the suggestion that it was her intellect and not her ridiculous mittens that rendered her unable to solve this little puzzle, but she accepted the hug all the same. “Me sowwy, Jackie. Me will twy to be nice baby guwl,” spat out Tori in a ridiculous, high-pitched lisp. Jackie was both surprised and almost impressed with the thoroughness of the apology, though she assumed it was something that Tori had been trained to do, much like she was trained to give certain responses when one of her parents or her Nanny wanted her to. Tori's thumb quickly slipped back to her mouth, in a way that Jackie could only describe as reflexive. Jackie had never seen Tori sucking a pacifier, but like Jackie she seemed to have quite an oral fixation, with hers being directed towards her thumb. Even as she started to take her turn with the blocks, she did so with one hand, leaving her left hand in a ball below her nose with the thumb entirely hidden behind her lips. Jackie studied Tori as she took her turn. Her olive skin was framed by fairly short jet black hair that was pulled off of her face with a pastel green headband. The light green color was matched by the short and somewhat simple dress that she was wearing, which easily revealed her thirsty diaper below. She wore some black Mary-Janes on her feet, which were tucked behind her as she sat back on her knees on the playpen behind her. Even though Jackie could tell that she was older, Tori was also still pretty, and Jackie imagined she would be an attractive woman in more age-appropriate clothes. Her skin was pristine, and Jackie had noticed when she was laughing at her that she had a bright smile, though Jackie rarely had seen it in their previous two meetings, at least in part because Tori's thumb was always in the way of her mouth. It was soon Jackie's turn again. Though her ability to grip hadn't improved since the last time, she was a little more careful with the triangle and this time had little incident, which prompted a round of patronizing cheers from Nanny Michelle and Miss Ashley. Jackie and Tori settled quickly into a routine. The toy was really just about as mindless as any, but at least taking turns seemed to break the monotony and pass the time a little bit faster. Jackie could hear the two caregivers quietly talking and occasionally bursting into giggles, but they weren't easily understood and Jackie figured that if they wanted her and Tori to know something they would share it. Besides, they were probably just sharing favorite humiliating things that they had made their charges do lately, and Jackie honestly didn't want to hear that conversation. Soon Jackie was pulled up from behind by Nanny, while Miss Ashley similarly helped Tori from the playpen. Jackie hadn't realized that she had been so immersed in the stupid little toy, but she hadn't even noticed them come over. Immediately Jackie knew what was going to happen, and it filled her with a sinking feeling. “Time for morning snack,” Miss Ashley confirmed. Jackie was carried over to the couch while Tori was shuffled over as Miss Ashley held her hand and walked rather briskly across the room to the love seat near the sofa. Miss Ashley quickly popped a bottle into Tori's mouth, but Jackie knew that she was in for a different fate. While Jackie had initially suspected that Nanny Michelle had been selected for her size and physique, and still was pretty sure that was part of her parents' reasoning, she now recognized that what her parents liked most about her as a caregiver was her ability to lactate. Jackie didn't really understand how, as she was all but positive that Nanny Michelle did not have any children, but she could independently confirm that it was true. Her parents loved the idea. Jackie had first been breastfed by her cousin, who had a small child of her own, at a family reunion a few months into her second babyhood. Her parents had seemed to love how much it had bothered Jackie. Jackie had reacted so poorly that she had ended up being punished for several days afterwards and had actually used the threat of a wet nurse as a way to guarantee Jackie's cooperative behavior for weeks thereafter. Still, when Nanny had come aboard she would never have guessed that she would be drinking from her teats as she had from her cousin’s so many months before. At first Nanny had really only had a modest supply of milk, and it had to be supplemented with a bottle of formula just to make up a suitable morning snack for Jackie. However, her body had seemed to respond to the increased demand and now produced enough that she was able to pump out two bottles on each weekend day, which were refrigerated and brought to Jackie's house so that her parents could still feed Jackie breast milk even on Nanny's days off. Jackie had grown used to being breastfed, but she still hated it. The milk was different than formula, though it was no better or worse. What Jackie really hated was that she was subjected to the most basic affirmation of an infant's status on a daily basis. Drinking directly from Nanny's breasts made her directly comparable to the smallest of babies, even if she dwarfed them in terms of size. Being breastfed during a play date was even worse, though at this point it was a humiliation that Jackie was somewhat used to. Still, she could tell that all of the other girls stared at her as it happened, probably not having been breastfed themselves in decades and partly curious, though mostly disgusted to see Jackie partaking in the shameful act. Despite the humiliation, Jackie knew it was best to get to it, so when Nanny produced a nipple, Jackie quickly latched on and began the demeaning process of suckling it dry. Soon she was lost in her own world, only faintly aware of her surroundings as she was busily slurping away. Not long later, the first breast had been drained. Nanny quickly tucked it away and produced her other breast, which allowed Jackie to get on with her infantile feeding. But now Jackie had another worry, one that she had been having for several weeks now. One of Nanny's most effective ways of humiliating Jackie was to have her do it herself. Soon after she had arrived, she had instituted a rule requiring that at least twice a week and at least 5 times every two weeks, Jackie had to tell Nanny something that she liked about being in her care. It was the only time Jackie was ever really allowed to speak without being prompted, and in order to do so she always had to declare, “Nanny, me haff somefin me need to tell thoo” from behind her pacifier. At that point Nanny would remove Jackie's soother so that she could clearly tell her what it was she wanted to say. Nanny never prompted, but if Jackie failed to meet her quotas then she would be in for a round of devious punishment, with a common one being that Jackie would not be given permission to have any sexual release at all for the next two week period, even if it had already been quite a while since her last opportunity to do so. At first Jackie had been able to say relatively simple things like “Me wike when thoo change my diapies,” or “Me wike when thoo feed me my babas.” None of them were exactly true, but Nanny didn't really care about that as much as Jackie making a convincing display of saying them and taking the initiative to make the remarks in the first place. If Jackie came up with an absolute doozy, Nanny would occasionally even allow that remark to count as two, although Jackie could rarely think of anything to humiliate herself enough to reach that level. The problem was that Jackie was not allowed to ever say the same thing twice, so she was increasingly having to get more and more creative in order to keep Nanny satisfied. Several weeks ago, Jackie had figured out one that she was sure was a two-pointer. In fact, if she were the judge she would give it about 30, because it was sure to be her most humiliating comment to date. But it was so bad that she didn't want to use it. She had chickened out the first time it was ready to be used, and the last time she had already finished her points that she needed for the week. But today Jackie knew that she was in need of a Hail Mary. She had only made two comments last week, so she needed to earn three points this week. It was only Tuesday, but she hadn't come up with any yesterday, and while she hadn't been thinking too hard, she hadn't come up with anything else that would earn her a point, not to mention three things. As she was greedily sucking down her Nanny's milk, she resolved that now was the time to break it out. Tori had finished a few minutes before Jackie, as was usually the case when one of her peers was being bottle fed while she was breastfed, and was in the process of being burped when Jackie and Nanny simultaneously became aware that the supply of milk had reached its end. Nanny eased Jackie off the nipple and tucked it away, giving Jackie a quick squeeze before reaching for her pacifier. Just before it was put into her mouth, Jackie bit the bullet and almost in a whisper said “Nanny, me haff somefin me need to tell thoo,” desperately trying to keep Tori and Miss Ashley from hearing her humiliation. Nanny hadn't been born yesterday, however, and made sure everyone knew what was going on. “What was that baby?” she asked loudly and sharply, quickly drawing attention from the two guests even as Miss Ashley continued to try to coax a burp out of her charge. “You need to speak more loudly for Nanny to hear you.” Knowing that she was had and ready to just get it over with, Jackie spoke as loudly and clearly as her stupid lisp would allow. “Nanny, me haff somefin me need to tell thoo!” she said, as if there were a real urgency to the matter. “Oh, ok.” Nanny said. “You can do that baby, but first let me get you burped. I wouldn't want you to get sick and spit up your yummy milk everywhere.” With that, Nanny shoved the pacifier back into Jackie's gaping mouth and sat her on her knee so that her head rested on her shoulder. The suspense was now killing Jackie. She knew that Nanny had decided to purposely draw out the ordeal. Frankly, Jackie was almost impressed. She had never mustered the courage to pull one of these humiliations off at a play date before, and surely Nanny hadn't seen it coming. Still, she had managed to quickly find a way to make it that much more difficult for her to do. Jackie wasn't really likely to spit up, and Nanny knew that, but acting like she couldn't put off the burping was a plausible enough way to elongate Jackie's torment. Mind racing, Jackie was barely interrupted when Tori let out a deep belch that ended her burping session. Jackie's stomach felt like it had a dozen butterflies in it, but it took a while longer to coax out some gas. After what felt like an age, she had a small, involuntary little burp bubble up, which satisfied Nanny. She was shifted so that she was sitting on Nanny's left thigh, her head only a few inches from Nanny's with Miss Ashley and Tori clearly visible in the background. Tori was facing toward Jackie and Nanny, straddling her babysitter's knee and being given a gentle horsey ride. “So,” Nanny said, snatching Jackie's binky out of her mouth as she spoke, “was there something you wanted to share with us?” The spotlight was firmly on Jackie, but she was freezing. She really wished there were some way for her to avoid her impending humiliation that she could see, but there really seemed to be little alternative. “No?” Nanny asked, holding her pacifier up as if to show that it could be shoved back into Jackie's mouth at any second. Jackie didn't really want to seize the moment, but she also didn't want it to slip away. Hurriedly, she lisped out what she had been so diligently rehearsing in her head, knowing that mediocre delivery might rob her of the second point that she desperately wanted and needed. “Nanny, me knows me am suppotha be a googuwl, buth me's gwad that me no hafta share thoose milkies wiff nobody elf a cuz me weally wikes it awot.” Jackie wouldn't even look at the other side of the room. She had dutifully held eye contact throughout the entire ordeal, but now she couldn't really look at Nanny either, so she settled on staring lasers into Nanny's chin. She could feel heat radiating off of her bright pink cheeks, but she had given it her best. Her heart pounded as Nanny tilted her head from side to side as if to consider Jackie's comment. Finally, she spoke. “That was very sweet, Baby Jackie,” she said. “You should always try to share, but I'm glad you like having Nanny's milk in your tummy so much. I think you can have two points for that.” “Points?” Miss Ashley asked, causing Jackie to dart her eyes over to the other side of the room for the first time in several minutes. While Miss Ashley looked a little confused, Tori's face was priceless. She was wide-eyed and was gaping at the spectacle. Jackie interpreted the look as one part confusion and one part disgust. She was pretty sure that Tori couldn't even believe that Jackie had insinuated that she might be breastfed herself, as if that was something that was out of the question for her. If that was the case, Jackie had news for her. If the two other women in the room right now decided that that was going to be what happened, she would have been suckling on Nanny's fleshy torture device in no time flat. Jackie had little time for superiority complexes from someone else who was in her equally unenviable position, no matter how old they were. Nanny was less worried about analyzing the look on Tori's face, and had begun to explain the points system to Miss Ashley. Tori was clearly not paying attention at first, but as she heard more about it, she began to frown with a look of obvious displeasure on her face, and she shot more than one sympathetic look to Jackie. Miss Ashley seemed pretty interested in what Nanny had set up, and without formally committing to it she asked Tori if she thought that that sounded like fun, which caused Tori to make a face that told the whole story, though she never made an explicit answer. Miss Ashley moved on. “Alright, mine over here is absolutely soaked,” she said to Nanny. Turning directly to Tori she asked “Would my little fountain like a change?” Tori had been around the block a few times and was well aware that changes happened at the whims of the “adults” in the room, and so she didn't say anything, but she turned beet red. It seemed that, like Jackie, she couldn't get used to the shame of the added exposure of play dates, even though she would have known that one of the relative strangers in the room changed adult diapers every day and the other one was confined to the same absorbent prison that she was. Nanny reached into Jackie's diaper, which was a little difficult given the tights and the oversized tutu, but declared that Jackie was only damp and could probably hang on until after naptime. Miss Ashley once more produced Tori's rather enormous diaper bag, which Jackie noticed had had a picture of Baby Tori in a professional looking photo screened onto one side along with the inscription “CHANGE ME” done in letters that were embroidered onto the bag inside of little embroidered baby blocks. She produced a standard changing mat and all of the things she would need to get Tori into a fresh diaper. Expertly, she set Tori down onto the changing mat that she had placed on the floor. As she pushed her charge into a lying position, she raised the dress much of the way up so that when Tori's back hit the mat it pinned the dress well out of the way of the diaper that was about to be opened. From her perch on Nanny's leg, Jackie could see that the diaper was indeed pretty clearly heavy with urine, and wondered if that was what hers looked like by the time she was granted a change. Tori was sucking her thumb even more furiously now, and looked like she wished she could melt into the floor as Miss Ashley, kneeling above her, opened the diaper to reveal a wholly yellow front panel. For some reason, Jackie couldn't seem to take her eyes off of the change. She stared at the diaper and Tori's hairless privates as they were shamefully wiped clean for her, and watching Miss Ashley raise her legs high into the air and thoroughly wipe Tori's crack and cheeks kept Jackie thoroughly interested. Soon Tori was being liberally powdered by and then was taped back into another diaper that at least for the moment was clean. The whole thing had only taken about 90 seconds, but Jackie could imagine that for Tori the humiliation felt like it lasted for more like 90 minutes. With Tori put back together, she and Jackie were put back into the playpen to continue “playing” until lunchtime. They weren't explicitly told to do so, but they went back to playing with the blocks, which Jackie was fine with because it at least somewhat focused her attention on something, which her dolls never really did. She and Tori continued to take their turns peacefully enough, and, except for the mittens on Jackie's hands, for once the way that they were dressed wasn't on the front of their minds, though had they really thought about the toy they were playing with they might have been forced to reckon with their state once more. It was only about 45 minutes until lunch time for the girls. Jackie always thought that the fastest part of her mostly boring days was the time between morning snack and lunch, since morning snack usually seemed to start at about 10:30 and took at least a half hour, especially since Jackie had to go through the somewhat slow process of a breastfeeding. Play dates made lunch a somewhat more drawn out process, since, despite the fact that all of the households that Jackie had been in on a play date, including her own, clearly had plenty of resources, none of them felt the need to have an extra oversized highchair for the once or twice a month that there was a guest that would need it. Today Nanny indicated that guests would be first, so Miss Ashley set about loading Tori up into the highchair. She was quickly strapped in and the tray was locked into place, pinning her arms by her sides, though had they been free Tori still would have known better than to do anything but let them hang down limply. Jackie was left sitting on the floor about 10 feet away from the highchair while Nanny heated up some baby food. Meanwhile, Miss Ashley busied herself fastening a bib around the back of Tori's neck, rendering her fully ready for the coming feeding. Just a moment later the microwave beeped and Nanny came over with a still-steaming bowl of baby food that she set down on the tray in front of the helpless adult baby woman. Nanny Michelle actually was the one that took on the task of spoon-feeding Tori, while Miss Ashley took to ensuring that a bottle was ready for when her charge was done with the mush. This was fairly standard for play dates, with the caregivers routinely switching which baby they fed under the guise of getting a chance to get closer with the other girl. Jackie suspected that the real motive was that the babysitters knew that each girl had adjusted to her own caregiver's feeding rhythm and that introducing someone they weren't used to could significantly increase the amount of mush that wound up on the girls' faces and bibs. Still on the floor, Jackie watched as Tori made a wretched face and seemingly fought off a gag reflex when the first spoonful of food went into her mouth. The reaction caused a good half of the spoonful to dribble down her chin, as Nanny quite deliberately never shoveled the food too deep into a big baby's mouth. Jackie almost chuckled at Tori's reaction, though she knew that she often reacted similarly. Each meal was a disgusting combination of three individual baby foods, each of which maybe wouldn't be so bad if they had been delivered separately, but which together were totally gross, which she was sure was the goal of mixing them in the first place. Many days Jackie never saw the jars and had to just guess what she was eating with the knowledge that in there was some sort of entree, something vegetable based, and some sort of fruit or fruit combination. From her vantage point on the floor, Jackie could see six empty jars on the counter, pretty clearly arranged into two groups. The first trio was lasagna with meat sauce, squash, and banana-strawberry, while the other group contained mixed vegetables and beef, broccoli and carrots with cheese, and apple-mango-kiwi. Jackie had no way of knowing which one of the off-putting mixtures was being shoveled into Tori's mouth right now, though, and she wasn't sure whether there was one that she would prefer waiting for her over the other. Feeding Tori took about 15 minutes. Watching, Jackie felt like she was getting a window into how dumb she must look when eating. Tori couldn't help but make a face with every horrible taste that reached her tongue, and Jackie knew that she must do the same at times when she was in her spot. Furthermore, with Tori strapped tightly in and leaning back, she was left just obediently opening her mouth as Nanny brought more and more of the horrid paste to her waiting lips, but from this angle it was easy to see that Nanny never really actually put the spoon anywhere past the tip of Tori's tongue, letting the slop slide off from there, ensuring that it was all over by the end of bowl. When it was over, Nanny went about quickly unstrapping Tori, and she lifted her directly out of the chair without even bothering to wipe her face as she carried her over to a chair at the table. Miss Ashley brought over a hot bottle of formula and Nanny sat down with Tori on her knee and began to feed Tori, who still had a mouth and bib that were smeared with the remnants of her lunch. Jackie didn't need to be told that it was her turn, and she slowly crawled over to the seat. Miss Ashley gave her a slight boost and soon Jackie herself was tightly strapped in, her tutu tucked away underneath the tray that sat tightly against Jackie's body just underneath her breasts. A bib was fastened onto her, with Miss Ashley making sure that her hair was hanging behind her back so that no food could get into her hair. The other bowl of food was brought over and Jackie obediently opened wide so that she could receive the mush. It was truly ghastly. In fact, it might have even been worse than usual, as it had been microwaved at the same time as Tori's and was now not very warm. Jackie preferred that it still be piping hot because it usually didn't carry as much of a distinguishable taste when it was still warm, but now Jackie was forced to get the full brunt of the taste. She was no more sure of which of the two foul concoctions she was eating now that she was tasting it, and she was trying to swallow as quickly as possible so that she wouldn't taste it enough to even have much of a guess. Miss Ashley seemed to work a bit faster than Nanny did, perhaps because she knew that the second feeding was cutting into when the girls would usually be napping. Within only a few minutes, Jackie's face was covered and her bowl was clear. Miss Ashley didn't bother to take Jackie out of the highchair, instead just holding the bottle above Jackie's head and forcing her to tilt her head way back to suckle the formula down from the rubber teat. When Jackie was finished Miss Ashley took a baby wipe to her face, getting the excess food that hadn't dripped down onto her bib off before it became too sticky. The bib was also removed and soon Jackie was out of the highchair and back on the floor. Nanny released Tori to the floor as well. “Baby Jackie, lead the way to your nursery please,” she commanded. “It's nap time for a couple of sleepy little princesses.” To Miss Ashley she continued, “I can put them down if you want to clean up for a minute.” “Sounds great,” came the response from over by the sink. Jackie began a crawling possession up to the nursery, with Nanny following on foot behind Tori. The party reached the top of the stairs and entered into the bedroom, where Nanny sprung into action, scooping up Tori without any warning and sitting her on the edge of the changing table before doing the same to Jackie. She swiftly set about taking off their dresses, explaining that they would get messed up if the girls slept in them. Their shoes also came off, but Jackie's tights were deemed fine to remain in place. Both girls also had their diapers checked, with Nanny commenting that Jackie would definitely be needing a change right after nap time was over but declaring Tori just a tiny bit damp and good to last a while. Nanny lifted Tori up once more and brought her over to Jackie's crib, placing her so her back was against the far bars. In no time Jackie was placed in, facing her companion, their heads just a few inches apart on the same solitary pillow. Jackie's crib had a simple twin mattress in it and really barely fit two occupants, her pacifier was almost touching the fist connected to the thumb in Tori's mouth, and their bare chests were actually slightly in contact. Next Nanny grabbed the warm blanket and, with a few deft reaches under the girls, tightly wrapped them together so that they now were forced to be touching all over and were left breathing the same air. It wasn't as tight as Jackie was normally swaddled when she was alone, but she still wasn't used to being in such tight quarters with another person, leaving her basically no room to fidget. It was even worse for Tori, who was not usually swaddled for sleeping the way that Jackie was, and was clearly very uncomfortable with all of the contact. Nanny gave each girl a kiss on the head, pulled up the side of the crib so that it locked with a click, told them to sleep well, and reminded them that she didn't want to hear a peep over the baby monitor. With that, she exited, leaving the two girls in the room with the only light coming from the night light on the opposite side of the room. Tori was squirming to try to get a little more personal space, but it was no use as there was nowhere to go. Her movements were causing their chests to rub softly together, however, and though Jackie didn't have a lesbian bone in her body, the physical contact with her naked torso was more than she usually got with her miserable excuse for a sex life and left her wanting something more fulfilling. Knowing that she wasn't about to get it, she did her best to let it go. Eventually Tori did settle in. Jackie always found that both girls had trouble falling asleep at first during these naps, but ultimately they all had one thing working for them: they were actually sleepy. Each girl was conditioned to taking a nap right after lunch, and at this point would be left extraordinarily tired and cranky without one. Today was no different, and soon the two girls were sleeping peacefully in their close quarters. Both girls were still asleep when Nanny and Miss Ashley came into the nursery to wake them about an hour and a half later. They roused the two girls with a shake of the blanket-wrapped bundle that contained them both. Soon, the groggy women were being unwrapped, allowing them to roll away from each other and stretch their legs a little with their new-found freedom of motion. Nanny soon plucked Jackie from the childish bed. Jackie could tell that she was showing off, as normally she wouldn't pick up Jackie nearly as much as she had picked her and Tori up today. She was carried over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room, where she was soon being fed another bottle of rather disgusting formula. Meanwhile, Miss Ashley had climbed into the crib and was sitting with Tori's head in her lap giving her a bottle as well. When the bottles were drained, Nanny guided Jackie over to the changing table for her promised diaper change. Jackie was more than pleased to be relieved of her sodden underwear. She was basically always wet, but usually her diapers were absorbent enough that she didn't really notice them. If she had gone long enough, like she had this morning, though, she would be unable to escape the discomfort of how wet her privates were. Sitting on Nanny's knee during her bottle feeding, Jackie had been able to feel a noticeable squelch with every shift of position. For months Jackie had struggled for control of her bladder, and when she had lost it, she had at first been extremely depressed. Now, though, this morning had passed without her even noticing a single time that she had added to the wetness in her diaper. She sometimes did still notice herself letting out an involuntary splash, especially when she had been first changed into a clean diaper, but she had basically accepted that her incontinence wasn't her fault and rarely worried about it anymore. Jackie found the change slightly more embarrassing than usual, owing entirely to the presence of the two guests. No matter how much Jackie tried to put it out of her mind, it was just hard not to struggle with the immodesty of having her privates wiped clean of urine and then being taped back into another diaper in front of others. Jackie had a theory that having to sit still and be prepared for and then taped into a fresh diaper was actually the most embarrassing part of being changed as an adult baby. Especially in the earlier parts of her new life, (and depending on how you looked at it, still) she could make a somewhat compelling case that she had only used that particular diaper because her parents, or by extension her Nanny, had made her do so. But sitting and accepting being powdered and diapered in a way constituted Jackie's tacit agreement that she did need the next diaper. Worst, this wasn't just symbolism anymore, because at this point Jackie knew that it was objectively true that she would hopelessly use her next diaper. Now in a dry undergarment, Jackie continued to cooperate as Nanny once again dressed her for the afternoon. The tights and shoes were replaced, and the dress once more completed the ensemble. Tori had been redressed by Miss Ashley while Nanny had changed Jackie, so she too was ready to face the rest of the day. The two babies made quite a spectacle as they bumped down the stairs on their bottoms and then crawled with their thickly diapered behinds on full display into the living room. They were loaded into the playpen once more, but this time they were encouraged to play with the little electronic toy that hung over the side and functioned as a sort of entertainment center for babies. Different buttons made different sounds, including some sounds of farm animals, a few that played simple instrumental versions of familiar lullabies and children's songs, and a few more that did things like count or even just played a recording of a baby laughing. Jackie thought the device was kind of infernal, but on a normal day Nanny expected to be hearing each of the buttons relatively routinely, and so Jackie had to make fairly frequent use of it. As they settled in, Jackie reflected on how bizarre it was to try to share such a device. They sort of switched off pressing buttons for a few minutes, though Jackie would have been fine just to watch what Tori did with it, especially since she knew what all the buttons did already. The orderly play was apparently not what the caregivers were looking for, however. Nanny came over to the side of the playpen and not so subtly hinted that she wanted to see both girls hitting buttons at the same time, pointing out how silly it could be by pressing the duck and cow buttons at the same time, as though that would cause two adult women to crack up. Still, the reaction Nanny was really looking for was for the girls to liven up their play a little more, and she got that. Without communicating except with a little bit of eye contact, Jackie and Tori did make some rather odd combinations, but it was still hardly what either of them would call fun. After about 20 minutes of that game, Jackie noted a slowing of the pace coming from Tori. Jackie assumed that Tori was getting bored, but if Miss Ashley was anything like Nanny Michelle, getting bored was hardly an excuse and not diligently following orders was a dangerous game that could lead to punishments that were definitely not worth the benefits. Jackie couldn't really blame Tori for the lack of enthusiasm, but that didn't mean she wanted to find herself sharing in a punishment for it, so she started to press buttons slightly more quickly herself to try to make sure that there wasn't an obvious slowdown in the cadence. Even with the slowing in speed, it came to a shock to Jackie when, abruptly, Tori got off of her bottom and onto her knees, shuffling away from the toy entirely. “Mith Athawy?” she meekly mumbled through the thumb she was still sucking, though there was no real reason as she had already gotten both of the babysitters’ attention with her sudden movements. “Yes?” came a genuinely confused sounding response. Tori paused for a moment, looking nervous, but when she spoke she did so somewhat more confidently than she had before. “Me needs to do poo-poos on the potty.” Jackie suddenly understood. She had seen Tori use the potty for her messes the first time they had had a play date, and though Tori looked absolutely mortified to have everyone watching her sit and push out a load on her tiny pink potty in the center of the living room, Jackie had thought that she would have traded just about anything for such a luxury. Still, she had basically forgotten about the incident until this moment. “Princess,” Miss Ashley said in a tone that was sterner than Jackie would have imagined, “you know your Mommy and Daddy decided that you don't get to use your potty any more and threw it away. You can do poo-poos in your diapers whenever you want.” Frantically, Tori tried to salvage her situation. “Not the car potty!” she said, sounding pretty absurd still using her shrill and overly girlish voice. Miss Ashley sighed. “They did throw your car potty away as well, missy, and even if they hadn't, what would make you think that I would let you use it when your mommy and daddy have specifically said that you need to make stinky pants from now on?” “But-” Tori started. “Victoria Elizabeth, that is quite enough!” Miss Ashley snapped. “If I hear one more word about this then you can sleep in your messy diaper tonight after you have made it! Now get back to your toy!” Crestfallen, Tori bowed her head and made her way over to the stupid little article that she and Jackie were assigned to play with and petulantly smacked it with an open palm, depressing a number of buttons and creating a cacophony of childish noises. Jackie could see tears forming in her eyes, and was not without sympathy, although she might have felt worse if she herself didn't have to defecate in her own underwear about 10 times a week. Jackie was pretty curious about this turn of events, and from what she could hear from across the room, she wasn't the only one. “When did that happen?” Nanny Michelle asked Miss Ashley. “Oh, I don't know, I guess like three weeks ago now. It's sort of funny how it happened actually. Baby Martha was over for a play date and made a messy diaper during nap time. A lot of times when one of the other babies made a mess at the place I would just bring the diaper out to the dumpster after they got changed in the living room, but since we were already in Tori's nursery I didn't think anything of it when Nanny Claire put it into the diaper pail. But Tori's daddy smelled it when he went in to get her up the next morning and asked me lots of questions. He didn't realize that all of Tori's friends used their diapers for more than just peeing. Apparently he talked with his wife that night, and the next morning they asked me if I minded changing dirty diapers. They told Tori that weekend, and I guess they had to strap her to the highchair in locking plastic pants to make her do it the first time, but she hasn't used the potty since that Friday.” “So you chose to change stinky diapers?” Nanny asked. “It's really not a big deal,” came the response. “The potty wasn't really any better. I still had to wipe the poop off of her bum, smell the smell, and then I had to dispose of the crap and wash the potty while she got to just sit there in a fresh new diaper. Plus with the potty when she wanted it I had to get it for her right away. Now I get to decide when she gets cleaned up. I guess she is messier to wipe now, but I already have to wipe her full diaper area when she pees. Besides, her parents gave me an extra 250 bucks a week, even though it's hardly any different. Who doesn't want an extra 13 grand a year?” “All good points,” Nanny conceded. “Wow, big change from the last time we saw each other. Three weeks...huh. I guess I'm surprised that she is still fighting it.” “Well, she hadn't been so much, but I guess this is the first time we've been on a play date since then. And maybe she thought that we really did still had a potty in the trunk, although I have no idea what on Earth would make her think she would be allowed to use it if it was still there. But I guess she probably is just embarrassed. And, you know, in fairness to her, she'd been using that potty for 15 years and having play dates most of that time, so I'm sure she never thought the day would come when she would have to mess herself like the other babies.” Jackie was floored at that comment. She had been living this life for less than a year and could barely stand it. Tori had been doing it almost since Jackie had gotten out of diapers the first time! Nanny, too, was intrigued. “Fifteen years?” she asked somewhat incredulously. “You haven't been watching her the whole time, have you?” “No, no, no.” Miss Ashley answered with a chuckle. “If I'd have been doing it the whole time I would have started when I was 10. I think there were two other babysitters before me. There was one that lasted a long time, and then she decided not to do it anymore, and then another one who only lasted a few months and then I came in 5 years ago.” “Wait, five years ago? So you were what, like” “Yeah, I was only twenty. I had been doing some domination stuff on the side to pay for college. A friend of mine knew Tori's first babysitter and when the job opened again I ended up getting recommended for it. I love taking charge like this, and was already thinking about giving up school to do it more online or something, and then this came along and they offered to pay me way more than enough to make it worth it for me without the privacy issues of online stuff, so I jumped at it. It was a little weird at first, especially since I'd mostly done men and mostly done spanking, which we don't use, but I still really find it fun to come up with new stuff and do it, plus the money is great.” Jackie wasn't too surprised to find out that these nanny positions were lucrative. They did require a big time commitment, and all of the families clearly had the resources to make it worth someone's while. Jackie had once seen one of Nanny Michelle's checks. Some quick math in her head (or as quick as it can be when your mind was turning to mush from lack of use) had told her Nanny was making more than $100,000 a year. Jackie knew her family could afford it even without her mother's substantial income, but that was still just a mind boggling figure to her for them to be willing to pay just for someone to keep tabs on her and keep her squirming in infantile humiliation. Jackie didn't have time to dwell on it much though, as Nanny and Miss Ashley kept talking. Jackie was keeping up her token playing with Tori, but she was totally engrossed. Though she felt a little strange about it, she found herself trying to learn everything about Tori's past that she possibly could now that they had started. “How old was Tori then when you started - you know, really? Nanny was asking all the questions Jackie would be asking herself! “Let's see - she is 41 now, so she must have been 36 then I guess.” “Is that weird? For you to be that much younger than she actually is?” Nanny asked. Miss Ashley seemed to think for a second before answering. “For me it isn't. I think once you decide that you are ok with treating an adult as a full-time baby girl, how old they are doesn't make too much of a difference, at least to me. But for Tori, I'm pretty sure it was at the beginning. It still probably is. I think that her mommy and daddy liked me in part because my being so young really reinforces to her how immaturely she is treated.” Jackie tried to look for Tori's reaction to all this, but she realized that Tori couldn't have been paying less attention. She was absent mindedly still doing her duty and giving the occasional smack to the toy in front of them, but Jackie could see that there was a desperate look on her face. Clearly, Tori was yet to have come to grips with her new regime of messing herself, but, as far as Jackie could tell, she didn't have too much time left before she would have to give in. Meanwhile, the conversation on the sofa continued. “Do you know what happened for her parents to do this for fifteen years?” Nanny was asking. “I know Jackie's parents plan to keep her as a baby for at least the foreseeable future just for basically being a spoiled brat, but fifteen years is a long time!” “Oh, well here we go then.” Miss Ashley sounded vaguely excited to tell this story. “First of all, it's not even Tori's parents.” “Wait, what?” Nanny interjected, shocked. “Yeah.” Miss Ashley said, dipping into a performance mode as she shared the juicy details, perhaps unaware that Jackie, too, was hanging on her every word. “It's a married couple, but they aren't actually related to Tori at all. 'Daddy' is actually Tori's old ex from college. They had been seeing each other for about three years when they graduated, but he decided to break it off because he was going off to grad school across the country for a few years.” “I guess Tori was pretty broken up about the whole thing and had even gone out there a few times to try to win him back, but he thought the distance was going to be too hard. Then while he was out there he met another woman and before he even graduated from school they were engaged.” “But that is where it gets pretty good. They moved back here after school. It turned out both of them were really into domination and both of them really wanted a full time adult baby, but they didn't really know where to turn. Tori's Daddy's name is Brian, and I guess Brian remembered that Tori had always been pretty submissive even though they had never really done anything too crazy while they were together. Somehow though, he convinced Tori to sign an agreement that made them legally her guardians and allowed her to be a part of their family on the condition that she do whatever they say.” “Wow!” said Nanny. “Why did she sign that?” “I don't know,” said Miss Ashley. “It seems like she didn't totally have the same impression as them, but-” At that moment, they were interrupted by a groan from Tori. For a split second, Jackie thought that maybe she had had enough of the story, but then she realized the real problem. With a loud, unladylike fart, Tori lost her battle and began to mess herself. There seemed to be a few distinct waves and several more pockets of gas loudly escaped before Tori, exhausted from the evacuation and the battle that had preceded it, slumped backwards. Just a foot or so away, Jackie's nostrils were immediately assaulted by the absolutely foul stench coming from Tori's dirty pants. “Gee, that was pretty quick,” remarked Nanny. “Well, the old rule for potty time was that she had one minute from when her butt hit the plastic until she had to have started, and then 5 minutes after that to finish. And after that she had to wait at least 3 hours before she could use the potty again, so I bet she had to go pretty bad when she asked.” Miss Ashley got up from the couch and strode over to the playpen, towering over her kneeling charge. The fight had gone out of Tori, and it was easy for her to spin Tori around so that her backside was up against the near side wall of the playpen and facing her. She pulled up the already-short dress and peeled back Tori's diaper. There was, of course, no need to check, but doing so was a chance for humiliation that Miss Ashley hadn't passed upon. Dramatically, she pinched her nose. “Pee-eww!!!” she said, spinning the helpless woman in the offending diaper around once more. She put her face right into Tori's, which was positively crimson and streaked with a steady flow of tears of pure shame. “That is one stinky diapee, young lady. But don't think I've forgotten when you tried to make me break Mommy and Daddy's rules with you. I think you can sit in your dirty pants for a while and think of what you've done. Have fun with your toy!” With that, she pushed Tori back, forcing her with an audible squish to sit in the fresh pile of waste that she had just deposited into her diaper, and then casually moved back over to the couch. “Now, what was I saying?” she asked Nanny. “I think you were just suggesting that she might have gotten more than she bargained for,” Nanny said, her voice thick with recognition of the ironic timing. “Ahh, yes,” Miss Ashley said. “Yeah, I think that she had interpreted her role as sort of a bottom in a lot of sort of kinky sex. And, in a way, I think she is right. Mommy and Daddy always want to know about her day and they have hinted that they like to know for later on that night. I think they totally get off on the levels of humiliation that she reaches as their baby. But she is certainly never in the bedroom.” “But anyways, they sort of played it straight at first, acted like she was going to just sort of have to do chores and stuff, but kept her in sort of a dependent, little girl state and then just kept finding reasons to take away privileges. I guess they had had the nursery set up the whole time, and one day they came up with a reason to regress her all the way. The whole thing really only took like a month or something at most, and she's been wearing diapers, eating baby food, and sleeping in a crib ever since. At this point, I don't know if she would even know how to go back. She's never sent a text in her life, hasn't used the internet since AOL, and the most adult thing anyone has even read to her is Goodnight, Moon.” “Man,” said Nanny. “That is pretty intense.” The conversation quickly turned on its head, with Miss Ashley asking Nanny Michelle all about Jackie, but that left Jackie trying to hear as little as possible instead of trying to hear all the details. Suddenly very engrossed in her toy, she found herself trying to make the machine make as much noise as possible to drown out the humiliating tale of her own babying, though she still found herself blushing at some of the more difficult details. The adults were on to trying to piece together what they knew about some of the other big baby girls that they had encountered when Jackie felt a rumble in her stomach. She was going to need to poop very soon. These days Jackie found that she didn't have more than maybe ten minutes warning when a bowel movement was going to strike. Her mushy diet meant that when things ran their course they were plenty loose enough to slide out quickly, especially since Jackie placed minimal emphasis on holding back, as there was little point. Jackie never relished a messy diaper, but looking over at the still distressed Tori, she thought that she could at least handle it better than her companion. On a normal day, Jackie barely even reacted to the actual act of messing. Often Nanny could tease her way into getting a rise out of her soon after, and when she was then made to sit in it for a while and to experience at close proximity just how badly it smelled she would invariably at the very least become agitated, but even then she now just considered it to be gross and humiliating, not the life-alteringly bad experience that she had felt like it was early on in her treatment. Today, she figured she had less reason to fight it than normal. Nanny and Miss Ashley were immersed in their chatter. Tori was distracted by her own mess, and besides she could hardly give Jackie a sideways glance with the stinky show that she had put on just 15 minutes or so before. When she felt the first significant cramp coming, Jackie broke from her normal pattern and just released. She was certain that she had that telling, focused look that inevitably came with pushing a mess into her diaper, but beyond that it was almost anonymous. She felt a thick, muddy torrent stream into the seat of her pants and fill most of the space in her crack, but it was accompanied by no tell-tale farts or involuntary grunts on this occasion. Another wave came, and once more Jackie allowed her sphincter to slacken, further worsening the mess on her bottom. Looking up, she could see that Nanny and Miss Ashley were still chatting away, seemingly unaware that they now were the lucky caregivers to two adults who had deposited messes into their infantile underwear. Tori, however, was not fooled. Like Jackie, she could probably smell the freshness of the new load, somewhat overpowering Tori's ripeness with a slightly different stench that might not be as distinguishable from 20 feet away. As far as Jackie could tell though, Tori seemed almost impressed with her poise. Jackie was feeling pretty impressed with herself in her own right. Not only had she been subtle, but unlike her companion, she wasn't sitting there expecting a change right away like some sort of spoiled princess. After all, a big chunk of their lives was supposed to be humiliation, so what did Tori expect? But then it hit Jackie like a ton of bricks. Here she was feeling superior to another adult woman because she was better at pooping her diapers and handling the aftermath. All of the sudden Jackie wasn't so proud, and in fact the immaturity of her previous line of thinking made her all the more ashamed. They were winning. They were making her think that she was mature by more thoroughly acting like a toddler. Suddenly, Jackie felt like she was in a catch-22. She could either be thoroughly humiliated by being treated like a giant baby, or she could act like it was the most natural thing in the world and that she was in fact just a baby. Either way her parents and her nanny were getting what they wanted. In her somewhat depressed state of mind, Jackie hadn't noticed that Nanny Michelle and Miss Ashley had ended their conversation and were headed over to the playpen once more. “Snack time, babies!” Miss Ashley declared cheerily. Miss Ashley helped a still-sulking Tori to her feet and over the side of the playpen, then escorted her over to the couch once more for another round of bottles, while Nanny picked Jackie up under the arms and carried her over to the couch. There she sat down and temporarily set Jackie on her knee, causing a big squish of poop in Jackie's diaper and a look on Nanny's face that made Jackie realize that her mess was no longer a secret. Nanny temporarily abandoned her efforts to grab Jackie's bottle, and instead worked to get Jackie's tutu out of the way so that she could access below. Peeling back the back panel, Nanny took a good look and an exaggerated sniff of the smelly parcel that Jackie had left for her to eventually clean up. “Whoooo-weeee! You are a stinky girl too! What a dirty baby you are!” “Oh, her too?” Miss Ashley asked. “These babies just can't help but poop in their pants I guess. That is probably why they have to wear diapers in the first place.” Jackie noted how quickly, for humiliation purposes, she slipped back into acting as if she and Nanny hadn't just had a conversation acknowledging the babies true ages and unwilling participation in their lifestyles. Though she could recognize the cynicism, Jackie also couldn't deny that the comment had both her and Tori turning a slightly brighter shade of red. Even upon discovery, Jackie knew better than to expect a change. In fact, she knew that even had she messed herself 5 hours ago, because it had just now been discovered the clock on when she might be changed would start now, and it would probably last at least 30-45 minutes if Nanny was in a generous mood, and possibly longer given that there were guests over. Predictably, having exposed Jackie's shameful act, Nanny proceeded to simply ignore it, laying Jackie out and quickly replacing her pacifier with a bottle of warm baby formula. This time, anyways, Jackie proved to be the faster of the two girls at drinking her bottles, though that could have been because Tori was much less used to doing so in a dirty diaper and may have still been preoccupied with her filthy backside. Either way, Nanny began to burp Jackie while Tori still had about three quarters of her second bottle still remaining. To this day Jackie was surprised that burping could really work on a woman in her mid-twenties, but it always did seem to loosen things up in her stomach. This time it seemed to be doing more than normal though. Jackie could really feel it making her stomach churn in a way that burps rarely could. Soon enough the burp did come, but as Nanny was complimenting her on being a good little girl, Jackie was realizing that the reason that she had felt a little strange was that she needed to break wind. Realistically, this wasn't much of an issue. As an adult, Jackie had tried to observe standard social norms when passing gas, but after long enough of being treated like a baby she now often just farted whenever she pleased. After all, she already had to poop in her diapers, so farting wasn't really such a big deal. In a way now was an even more opportune time, because she knew that the smell would be masked by the already significant stench emanating from the two diapers in the room. But she still tried to avoid doing so audibly at times in front of Nanny because it was sure to lead to a comment, and now was a time she'd certainly like to avoid a loud toot if possible. With that in mind, Jackie worked carefully to see if she could subtly let out the gas as Nanny flipped her around to face forward on her knee. The plan actually worked, and Nanny didn't even really seem to notice the subtle contraction of her stomach muscles as she pushed out the fart. For a moment, Jackie was somewhat impressed that she had succeeded, but her joy was extremely short lived. A moment later, she realized that the gas had been a precursor to one more wave of poop that apparently had not come out when she had originally messed herself. Jackie didn't like it, but she knew that there was only one solution to this problem, and it involved another push. She was well aware that now that she was already in a poopy diaper, she should be getting it all out. This wasn't a decision based upon the practicality of only using one diaper. What really made Jackie so sure that she should do the dirty deed was that if she was changed beforehand and then messed a second diaper, Nanny would be very upset with her and probably send her to bed in the dirty diaper for having the temerity to need to poop so soon after being cleaned up. Jackie wasn't about to face those sorts of consequences when it was so easy to avoid them, so she quickly got to work. But pooping while sitting on Nanny's leg wasn't a piece of cake. At first she tried to just give a gentle push so that she might be spared from having to make any sorts of grunts or embarrassing faces, but that was pretty clearly not going to work given how little room there was between her actual bottom and Nanny's leg. She was going to have to push hard to get this out, and so, reluctantly, she did so. There was indeed a little grunt and an almost purple face, and suddenly Jackie was the center of attention as she made a scene not unlike the one that Tori had made a little under an hour before. Aided by the hard surface of Nanny's muscular thigh, the mess found its way all over Jackie's diaper, mingling with the existing poop and once again making the seat of her pants warm. She could feel poop all the way out to the sides of her cheeks, up towards the small of her back, and the concentration was still very heavy just below her anus, where gravity caused the majority of the mess to settle. Though everyone in the room knew what had happened, Nanny still wasted little time in calling attention to it. “Again, baby? That's twice in a row. I hope you don't have any more poopies in that little tummy of yours for awhile now.” She rubbed Jackie's belly to emphasize the last point. Jackie blushed fiercely. Somehow, even though she had just blatantly messed herself, Nanny could make the humiliation more acute with her words, especially when someone was there to hear them besides Jackie. Jackie remained seated on Nanny's knee facing the center of the room as Tori finished her second bottle and Miss Ashley helped her assume the burping position, which Jackie noted caused her face to contort in disgust as her mess shifted upon contact with her babysitter's knee. Soon Nanny began to bounce Jackie around a bit on her knee as they waited for Tori to burp. Nanny seemed weirdly fidgety to Jackie, as she was suddenly using the hands she had on each of Jackie's sides to wiggle her both front to back and side to side. Usually Nanny wouldn't have Jackie on her lap for all that long if she were just watching her alone, but in this case maybe she was just trying to pass the time before Tori was done being burped and they moved on to something new. Jackie soon suspected that perhaps Nanny was trying to make Jackie have to smear poop over even more of her diaper area. If that was the case it was sort of working, but Jackie was also experiencing another side effect, as the sodden front of her diaper was rubbing directly against her most sensitive parts. This wasn't really a setting that Jackie wanted to become aroused in, given that the seat of her pants was full of poop and the room was full of guests, but she couldn't really come up with an easy way to make the arousal stop. Even trying to focus on the mess being disgustingly spread further and further wasn't overcoming the direct stimulation that she was receiving. Jackie was pretty sure this wouldn't have been such a big deal, but it had been nearly a month since she had had any release, and Nanny had been working her up lately, and then at nap time Tori had unwittingly furthered Jackie's adult cravings. Now, when she least wanted them, they were back with a vengeance, with a few little shivers starting to involuntarily rock her, though Nanny at least seemed not to notice. Besides, if there was any comfort for Jackie, she knew that while Nanny might be an expert in leading her on, she almost never let her get off, and she could be pretty sure that this was not to be the exception to that rule. Jackie was so lost in her own mix of mortification and pleasure that she almost missed Tori's burp that officially ended snack time. Seconds later, however, she couldn't miss Nanny suddenly breaking her trance. “Alright baby, I've had enough of you squirming and fidgeting all the time. Sit still for one second and we'll take care of you.” Jackie didn't really know what was happening as Nanny eased her to the floor and left her sitting there in confusion as Nanny got up and walked out of the room. The puzzled look on Miss Ashley's face seemed to indicate that she wasn't too sure what was happening either. Was Jackie about to get a surprisingly prompt diaper change? She had assumed the second messing had meant that the time she had to wait would probably increase given Nanny's propensity for cruelty when it came to leaving her to rot away in her own foul waste. Jackie was just as puzzled when Nanny came back without diapering supplies. In fact, all she came back with was a toy that Jackie had been mailed for her birthday by her cousin Melissa and her husband (and allegedly their daughter Kendra, although since she was less than two Jackie figured that that probably was not quite true). It was a little pink pony's head on one of those wooden poles, pretty much a standard issue toy for little kids. Jackie had received a few babyish birthday presents from relatives, and had been made to make a thank you video for the senders in which she used the toys or modeled the clothes that were sent and had to very specifically lisp out what she was thanking them for. In the video to Melissa, Michael, and Kendra she was also instructed to ask for any toys that Kendra outgrew. Her parents could totally afford to buy any baby toy for Jackie, but the point was clearly to emphasize Jackie's infantile status by having her inherit toys that were no longer interesting to her cousin's child, who was more than 20 years her junior. In the case of the pink pony, Jackie had actually only ever used the toy in the video. Her parents and Nanny had deemed it too mature for her because playing with it required her to be standing, which they argued would be too dangerous for such a little girl, who might fall and hurt herself. That was of course pretty inaccurate, even with the decreased strength that Jackie had in her legs from not having really walked in almost a year, but Jackie didn't really mind as she hadn't really wanted to gallivant around with the silly thing between her legs. But why did Nanny Michelle have it now? Not surprisingly, Jackie didn't have to wait long for her answer. “Here, up on your knees, baby,” she coaxed. “Good. Legs apart. Now one little handy-pandy up here. Oops, that's hard to grip with your mittens, huh? Let's just wrap your hand there. Good baby! Now your other one back here...and another nice grip. Ok, go ahead and do it. Nice and quickly now!” Jackie was bewildered. Nanny had arranged it so that she was kneeling with one hand mittened hand lamely half-grasping-half-cradling the wooden stick in front of her and the other doing the same behind her, each about six inches from her diaper, with the stuffed animal head maybe a foot in front of her front hand. And Nanny wanted action. Still unsure, Jackie started shuffling around a little on her knees. “No, no, no silly,” Nanny said. “Like this.” She walked over to Jackie and put her hands on top of Jackie's. Pulling up so that it was tightly pressed against Jackie, she started to grind the stick back and forth. Jackie's eyes went wide. Now she got it. Apparently Nanny had felt her trembles from a few minutes ago, and she wanted her to do something about it. Jackie didn't really want to masturbate in front of the guests, and especially not using this silly little horse as a stimulus against her dirty diaper. And yet, the grinding felt so good. When Nanny took her hands off and stepped back, Jackie kept up the rhythm. She was aware that Miss Ashley and especially Tori were looking on with amazement just a few feet away, but now that she had started she wasn't about to stop, even if maybe because Nanny had ordered her to start she wouldn't have really been allowed to stop had she chosen to. At first Jackie tried her best to maintain as much dignity as a woman could while pleasuring herself in a crowded room while dressed as a baby and wearing a dirty diaper. She kept her eyes focused firmly on the back of the little stuffed animal's head and maintained a slow pace in her motions. Eventually though, instincts took over. Her eyes slipped closed and she began to pick up the pace. Just seconds later the rest of her body responded, her legs quivering and her hips bucking at the sensation in her loins. She was moaning, she realized, but even with the unfamiliar onlookers she was powerless to stifle herself. The rarely experienced pleasure was too powerful. There was one more thing she needed. “Nanny?” she pleaded. Using her lisp was so hard in this situation, but she had learned that it was imperative if she didn't want to get stopped in her tracks. “Oh, play a little while longer baby. You seem to like that toy.” Jackie wasn't sure how much longer that would really be possible, but for now she forced herself to continue, positively vibrating now with erotic excitement. She was ready, but without Nanny's permission going over the edge simply couldn't happen. It wasn't even a minute before Jackie felt compelled to beg once more. “Pweath, Nanny,” she yelped, looking up at the woman towering above her while maintaining her frantic pace down below. “What is it baby?” Nanny asked coyly. “Nanny, me wants to show thoo how much me wuv my diapees.” Even the horrible routine of asking for permission couldn't slow her momentum now. Nanny delayed just a moment before giving her the green light. “Please do, princess.” On those words, Jackie's pace picked up one final time, and in seconds her world exploded. She inhaled repeatedly around her pacifier, positively squealing in delight and found herself flopping down face first onto the carpet as her entire body convulsed with wave after wave of pleasure. Exhausted, she remained on the floor, panting as she desperately tried to catch her breath. She had dropped the toy somewhere along the line, her useless fingers unable to hold on any longer, but that didn't matter now. Four long weeks of frustration had left her body in a moment of sheer bliss. “Baby?” Nanny said, snapping her out of her own little world. “Don't you have something to say?” Jackie remembered that she wasn't really done. Knowing what was expected of her, she climbed to her knees and then got to her feet, the only time she was ever supposed to stand unassisted. “Fank thoo for wetting me show thoo how much me wuv my diapees. They's me most favoritest thing in the whole wide world.” Jackie hated the embarrassing speech with a passion, but if she didn't make it now she would likely never be allowed release again. To finish her part, she placed her hands under the edges of her tutu (normally she would grab the hem of her dress, but with her mittens that wasn't happening) and dropped into a deep curtsey. Her legs wobbled a little as she dipped, and the shift combined with her tight tights to remind her of just how miserably soiled her diapers were, which had only been made worse by the shaming act. “You're welcome, baby, but I think you ought to thank our friends as well for watching your little show.” Now Jackie was struggling. She hadn't looked at Miss Ashley or Tori since she had climaxed a few minutes ago. Most of the afterglow of her release had already been compromised by having to immediately slide back into the role of obedient little wimp for Nanny, but having to directly acknowledge what she had just done to the guests was even more distressing. Nevertheless, around here orders were orders, so she turned to the guests. “Fank thoo for wetting me show thoo how much me wuv my diapees. They's me most favoritest thing in the whole wide world,” she repeated. Once more, she dipped into her silly little curtsey, doing her best not to sob at the shame of it all. “Good girl,” Nanny said, coming over and picking up her suddenly miserable charge and supporting her with an arm between the legs, only serving to mash the mess in her pants into even more corners. “Since you love your diapees so much, I think I will let you stay in that one until it is time for your bath tonight, even though you stink so bad. Aren't I so nice?” Jackie knew better than to give her opinion on Nanny's kindness, so she simply stayed silent as Nanny deposited her into the playpen once more. “Well,” Miss Ashley said, “I think I have a jealous little girl over here. I don't think she has done anything like that in a long long time. I could feel her shaking by the end. But she isn't going to do any of that unless her mommy and daddy tell me that they are ok with it. But maybe next time we see you two it will be Baby Tori who gives us all a show.” Looking at Tori's face, Jackie could tell that what Miss Ashley was saying was at least partly true. If it really had been fifteen years since she had been able to cum, Jackie couldn't really blame her, but if she could have an honest and private conversation with Tori, she would do her best to convince her not to be so jealous. Sure, she had been desperately aroused for large parts of the last week, but she was pretty sure that she hadn't been as aroused before Nanny had reintroduced sexual release into her life, even though it had been almost seven months at that point. Besides, the orgasms were certainly intensely pleasurable, but afterwards they made being forced to play the baby and submit to, and cooperate with, Nanny's torments even worse. In the moment right after she got off, she would feel adult again, but Nanny made sure that she always crashed right back to her lowly status by being forced to recite her ridiculous thanks. After finishing, Jackie would have loved a while by herself to privately come down from her high. Even today, in her dirty diaper, half an hour would have been enough to allow her to get over the adult moment and be ready to play her horrible role again, but Nanny would never let that happen. Especially now that it was over and she was no longer so desperate for release, Jackie felt like it just wasn't worth it. She would admit, though, that by the time Nanny was ready to let her get off once more, she probably would again find herself totally invested in doing so, but that would be because Nanny had made sure that that was the case. Jackie's musings were cut short though when Miss Ashley continued her talking. “I think it is time for us to get this little girl home so that she can get some din-dins and still get to bed on time,” she said unironically, even though it was only about 3:30 in the afternoon. “Aww, I was hoping we might get to see her get that stinky diaper change,” Nanny replied. “Well, I don't really want to ride in the car with this little stinker like she is, but she needs to learn that she doesn't have a choice and that dirty diapers are a part of being a baby, so she is going to have to wait until we get home.” Jackie could see that Tori hated to be the center of this conversation, but she could also see a little bit of relief on her face. As much as she probably wanted a new diaper, Jackie was willing to bet that she was at least as happy that she wasn't going to have her messy parcel opened in front of anyone besides Miss Ashley. Tori was still on Miss Ashley's knee, so Nanny once more removed Jackie from the playpen. She carried her over and sat next to the other two, putting Jackie on her own leg. The girls were forced to kiss once more, and did so as awkwardly as ever. Nanny gave Tori a quick smooch on the top of the head and told her to be a good little stinker for Miss Ashley. Miss Ashley returned the gesture to Jackie, and with that it was time to go. Tori was slid to the floor and Miss Ashley gathered everything they had come with in the diaper bag. Tori was ordered to start crawling, and did so, beginning to make her way out of the living room, through the kitchen and into the front hall. Miss Ashley followed closely behind her, and Nanny brought up the rear, still carrying Jackie along with her to see the guests off. At the front door Tori was allowed to stand up, and she walked the few steps down the walkway and to the car. There was only one other house that could be seen from the driveway, and though it was far enough away, if someone had happened to be looking they might have seen the odd spectacle. The mild threat of exposure didn't seem to speed up Miss Ashley, however, who put the diaper bag in the passenger seat before beginning the process of loading Tori into the car, much to the chagrin of both Tori and Jackie who were forced to remain outdoors in their childish attire. Soon enough though, Tori had indeed been tightly strapped into her oversized car seat, which Jackie was stunned to find was rear facing. She had to wonder if it was really safe in an accident, but it did make Tori look like a ridiculous infant when she was secured into it, though the legs spilling out of the back somewhat lessened the accuracy of the image. Jackie was glad her parents hadn't found that contraption at least. Satisfied, Miss Ashley closed the rear door, bid Nanny Michelle farewell, patted Jackie's disgusting diaper, and hopped into the driver's seat. Jackie and Nanny lingered in the driveway until they left. “Well, baby,” Nanny said as she carried Jackie back towards the house, “that was fun. I bet you can't wait until we get to tell your Mommy all about your exciting day!” Jackie wouldn't exactly have said that. At this point, about the only thing she couldn't wait for was a diaper change, but waiting was exactly what she was going to have to do. As Nanny deposited her into the playpen and announced that she needed to go to the restroom (which she always did to illustrate her maturity relative to Jackie's), Jackie thought back on the day. It had proved to be her most eventful play date yet, and by now Jackie had learned that in her life eventful was almost never good. Sure, she absolutely hated the mind numbing boredom that accompanied her babying, but the breaks she got from that boredom were the only thing that could make her already-humiliating experience become even more mortifying. Really, today's experience just confirmed what she already knew: play dates were the worst.

We have to pay to use out laundry machine, it's about $4 to do a load of laundry, this includes washer & dryer, If we need to use multiple washers or dryers that's another $4, I usually try to minimize trips, just because it's inconvenient, and I'd rather get my money's worth and fill up a whole machine. Plus it's a hassle cause I need to walk out to the laundry room 3 times, one to put in the laundry, put the laundry into the dryer and take the laundry back into our apartment. Each machine takes up 45 minutes to finish. So, I usually do it right around when our dirty clothes hamper is full, which is usually about 1 washing machine/dryer worth of clothes. I'm not opposed to doing it more, say if we need a specific set of clothes for an event/outing, but usually, it's just when the hamper is full.

Well, it is a good song.

I don't mind sorting laundry because it's a bit of an "affirmation" for me. There is never any underwear in my pile, I haven't owned any since 2020. Although whenever I put a load on from our bedroom, consisting of clothing belonging to my wife and I, I then set a stopwatch in my head to make sure that I go back and flip it into the dryer, and then collect it in a timely manner. Back when we did the kids' laundry, it didn't matter, but now that they're doing their own, I don't want them to decide to unload the dryer, to make way for their stuff, and in so doing, note that there are four or five black adult-sized diaper shirts in the mix. My mother-in-law also LOVES to do laundry, so, for the same reason, when she visits, I have to sprint ahead of her and pull cloth diapers or onesies out. She likes sorting laundry so much that, on some occasions, she's been standing in our room, which has a TV, folding laundry, and I've asked her if she wants something on the TV, and she's said no, she'd rather fold laundry in silence. My wife has seemingly convinced her that I prefer all my laundry deposited on my bed, rather than enjoying the privilege of having her put it away, but I have caught her putting socks into my dresser, which stresses me out, because of course the bottom drawer is full of diapers, which might raise questions.

I never bothered with hypnotism. Bedwetting was something that I allowed to develop rather than actively sought (although clearly I am largely untroubled by this development). Isolated incidents first occurred after several months of 24/7. They were very sporadic with weeks between them. This progressed to maybe one or two nights per week, a phase that remained dominant for many months, probably a year. At around year 3, bedwetting accelerated sharply to become semi-normal. Yes. I generally pee 3 – 4 times during the night now (after some years of 24/7, I have a kind of nocturia). It is typically the first pee of the night that will happen whilst I’m asleep although on occasion, I will sleep through until 4 or 5am and find myself wet enough that it is likely that I’ve had two pees whilst asleep. Rarely, I will just wake up (quite early) the next morning to find my nappy soaked but in general, the closer to morning, the less likely it is I will sleep through it. I suspect this is progressing but not as quickly as some others. Absolutely. Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle certainly applied for me. ANY attempt to observe, measure or precipitate a bedwetting event simply ensured it didn’t occur. This HAS changed (a bit) over time. It’s more “robust” now. I’m at the point where if I’ve drunk alcohol during the evening, I can go to bed in a deliberately dry nappy and have the reasonable expectation of waking to find it wet before about 2am. In the early days, such an experiment would inevitably fail. I can now even (when circumstances allow) go to bed WITHOUT a nappy and still wet if certain provocations are at play (fatigue and/or alcohol). I believe this was the case in the early phases but it faded over time culminating in wet bedding I didn’t want after I tried going to bed without a nappy. It was indeed the first wetting of the night and I remember being woken by a warm, wet trickling sensation around my bum. I thought I was having a bad nappy leak and then I woke up more and I remembered I wasn’t wearing one. This was about two years in to intermittent bedwetting. I'd established this pattern however using high capacity nappies covered by cloth-lined plastic pants to catch leaks. I wasn't worried about leaking very much and now it doesn't matter if I worry or not. I will certainly say that the more DEEPLY I sleep, the more likely I am to sleep-wet. Fatigue is a good predictor for me. A The couple of “nappy-free” experiments I’ve done both showed a dry, restless, largely sleep-less first night followed by sleep-wetting the second night (when I’m much more tired as a result of the preceding night’s wakefulness). Alcohol is a good predictor for EARLY sleep wetting for me (it enhances early sleep but degrades later sleep). A very poor night’s sleep (regrettably common) will mean it more likely that I’m awake to do the deed. A couple of nights per week I will remember 3 pees. Sometimes the middle ground outcome is that I’ll have a pee-dream that truly involves pee.

What does any of this have to do with sexual orientation? Doctors and medical staff are professionals and if they treated people differently based on sexual orientation there's a word for that (at least in Canada) and that word is discrimination. If a doctor or nurse tried to take my clothes off or tried to diaper me because I'm part if the LGBTQ2+ Communities they would be facing a lawsuit so fast their head would spin. I'm all for questions and discussions but this comes across as seriously offensive . . . .

Funny story my mom told me 6months ago, When I was 5 I got my bunk beds, the very first morning my mom walked in and caught me standing on the bed peeing on the mattress like I was watering the lawn (OMG That still cracks me up). That got me spanked and a rubber sheet for life and I wet the bed regularly since. Only problem, my sheets got washed once a week. I also peed my pants in school for 1st and 2nd grade at least 3 times a week. Mom quit bringing me clothes in an attempt to make me stop, I didn't care and the school ignored it. So I would be wet all afternoon. (Didn't bother me). But never got put back in diapers (darn!). I don't think that was the motivation then. Guess I was ABDL from the get go! LOL ? ?‍♂️

I'm having a hard time sleeping lately, getting maybe two hours of sleep a night.

Or a nice warm baby bottle made by you and bottle-fed would SURE knock me out, as you rock me back and forth!??☺️???????♥️???♥️?? I'm SURE it could do the SAME for Mikey!?????☺️? LOL!?????☺️???

Big thick Diapers are the best!

That's VERY GOOD buddy! You ALWAYS gonna make SURE you wear big thick Diapers!!!!!????????????♥️??♥️??♥️?️‍??

No it hasn't leaked yet and I hope it doesn't.

I am positive that women wear diapers for extended periods.

I’m glad warm weather is here because I can go in just a diaper, t-shirt or onesie on.

Have WENT? When I read that, I almost dropped my THIRD GRADE GRAMMAR BOOK. (Have GONE, for the record).

It'll be laundry day again for me as soon as I get out of this wet, messy diaper. ?

I had them made on year

It all depends on what I am doing as I now no longer on a solid diet I now prematurely on a baby food diet so I don’t have hard poo anymore it’s normal 1 hour after my meal that I normally will mess depends on what I have eating so I could be crawling sitting or standing I normally will just go when I need

I do laundry about once a week...

That's the best reason I can come up with, @BabyJune

Not so much as ONE grossly overdone frill on a "babydol" that does not cover my panties fully, or "rhumba panttts". I am too much of a girl for that Even for a Little Girl, I am very low on the "frilliness" scale If my long blonde hair, skirts, dresses and babydolls, dollies, tiaras and the things in my albums, About Me and other things that you can get at from my siggy do not say enough, then you are beyond help

Ooh! Want to see that.

You're right. Sometimes, the only way someone will notice is if you pull your pants down, point at your diaper and say "LOOK!!! I'm wearing a diaper!!!"You will probably be totally ignored. My first outing in a diaper was to the hardware store. I thought I the world's loudest crinkle. Turned out nobody noticed... including my kids. Only you hear the noise and the possible bulging. You are your own worst enemy.

I have never worn for for more than 2 maybe 3 hours. Would love to try going longer

Hi! I am 24 years old, from the US I love wearing diapers, I am a little, and I am looking to talk to more people with the same interests! ☺️

Yep! Not all the time though, just when I'm really in that mood! Typically I do it in ones that I've filled to the max (I get the most enjoyment out of it that way) but sometimes I'll also do it when just wet or heck even when I'm dry!