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Chapter 2: She heard her enter but didn’t turn around. Her back faced the door and she was curled up in a tight ball, her knees pressed against her chest. Olive May suckled the pacifier in her mouth but absolutely hated it. They had strapped it around her head and the only way to relieve the uncomfortableness was to suck. It only reinforced their thoughts that she was some stupid oversized baby. She saw the other bab- adults glossed over eyes and infantile joy at the stupidest stuff. They crawled and waddled around in overly thick padded diapers. The workers, not much older than themselves, treated them like they were just incompetent drooling babies that couldn’t even hold a spoon by themselves. Which some of them couldn’t. It would be a complete disaster. But Olive May could. She went to school, drove a car, dated boys, and was going to go to college. She had a whole life ahead of her and suddenly it was all stolen away. Her family was stolen away. She remembered everything and that’s why she could never become the baby they wanted her to be. Though, yes, sometimes she did slip because life was too hard and she needed to escape just for a little bit. But she always came back to her real self and fought harder than before to stay that way. “Olive May?” She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut. Miss Nelly was here. She was one of the more tolerable workers. She didn’t talk down to her in the ridiculous baby voice. It made her feel somewhat normal. “Olive, I know you are awake,” she sighed. “Can you turn around please? We have some people here to meet you.” There were always people coming to the orphanage. Couples wanting to adopt and turn them into babies. But she never let them touch her. They didn’t want a bad little. They didn’t want a little that bit and screamed. They didn’t want a little that wasn’t regressed. Olive May had a plan to stay in the orphanage forever. The last woman she was with had been cruel and she didn’t want to put herself in a vulnerable position like that ever again. She would never allow herself to be adopted or fostered or whatever these sick people wanted to do with her. She heard the sound of clicks, signaling the covering over the adult-sized crib being removed. Her shoulders tensed. She felt a hand on her back, rubbing in soft circles. Olive May clutched the elephant in her right hand as if it was her lifeline. Her wet eyes fluttered open. Miss Nelly knelt in front of her, staring through the bars. She had brown eyes and dark and curly hair. Her skin was a rich caramel color and she had a nice smile. It wasn’t manipulative. It was sincere. Olive never knew what to think. Nobody was ever sincere. Nobody was ever this nice, there was always an ulterior motive. But so far she had found none with Miss Nelly. “I know you are scared, Olive,” she said. “Sometimes I’m afraid of strangers too.” The girl glanced down at the plastic covering the mattress. Her heart thudded against her chest, aware of the people waiting for her. If she screamed enough, it usually scared people away. Or she’d hit until they got the message. It was harder to bite with the gag in her mouth but even with mitted fists, she could still throw a mean punch. She knew what Miss Nelly was trying to do. She was trying to get her to trust her. “We can never conquer our fears if we don’t try. I know you’re a good girl. You don’t actually want to be mean to our guests. Don’t you want to be Miss Nelly’s good girl?” Olive May didn’t respond to the question. She never responded and Miss Nelly didn’t seem to mind. She never raised her voice or spanked her. She never was angry… disappointed maybe, but never mad. It had been a month and she was still distrustful of it. She was just waiting for the other shoe to fall and for her real side to show. “If you can be good for me and Miss Whitmore, perhaps you’ll get a little treat. I know how much you love your fruity water.” Olive May paused. She did love the strawberry water. It was a rare treat and something she’d definitely behave for. She just hated how it was always given to her in the stupid baby bottle. Olive May knew she couldn’t hold a regular glass. The first day at the orphanage she tried but her arms shook so bad, she dropped the plastic cup, spilling liquid all over the ground. Of course it only went to prove their point that she was too little for such adult items. She hated how weak she was. She hated what the woman did to her. Heather Grafton was her name. She refused to call her mommy because she had a real mother. She had a real family that she had not forgotten about and never would. “Do we have a deal?” Olive sat up, leaning against the bars. The diaper crinkled with every movement she made, her cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment. It had been three years and she still couldn’t get used to the damn diapers. She wore a footed onesie, plain and pink, against her pale skin. It was the standard outfit for all the girls and for the boys, who were made to be girls (the workers called them sissy babies) in the orphanage. Blue onesies were the uniforms boys wore. Her dark hair was pulled into two low ponytails on the sides of her head and ends curled at her armpits. She nodded just the tiniest bit, allowing Miss Nelly to lift her up into her arms. She snuggled closer, looking everywhere around the room but at her. The crib was the size of a queen sized bed surrounded by tall bars, bigger than her. It wasn’t tight and cramped. Her limbs didn’t ache after being forced to lay in it for hours. That’s why she didn’t mind the cage (she had taken to calling it) it reminded her of a big bed… just with rails on the side. The rug was brown and the walls were plain white. Besides the closet and rocking chair, a small window was situated above a brown bureau. However, metal bars had been placed over it after she tried to escape. It was just another reminder of her imprisonment. She never tried again after that. ooOoo Olive May was allowed her own room on the second floor, last door on the right. The other littles were afraid of her after witnessing her attack one of the workers. She did not like people touching her and reacted rather… strongly when surprised. She focused her blue eyes on the setting around them as they left the safety of her bedroom and headed downstairs. The chatter quieted as curious littles watched them go past. They quickly looked away when her glare settled on them. They finally turned the corner and entered the office. A man and woman turned around at the sound of them and Miss Whitmore gave a tightlipped smile. Olive May focused her glare on the ground, not wanting to get in trouble. Miss Whitmore was a mean woman. She treated her the worst, trying to force her to be a baby, filling her mouth with soap and water her when she made “big girl” sounds. The man looked like he had just walked off a runway. Everything about him screamed wealth and power. His smile was big and kind which made her trust him even less. However his wife, she couldn’t put her finger on it, looked eerily familiar. There was a genuine warmth in her eyes which caused her stomach to churn, unused to that emotion. For the first time she was shy, slightly hiding her face in Miss Nelly’s shoulder. They were probably told that she was violent and dangerous just because she didn’t conform to their sick ways. Perhaps this was all an act and once alone would treat her cruelly. Olive May didn’t know what to believe. Miss Nelly sat down in the third chair beside them, holding her on her lap. Olive May assumed this couldn’t be comfortable yet the woman made no comment. “Can you say hello to Dr. Christan and Marina Tischner?” Miss Whitmore’s voice was high pitched as she talked down to her, refusing to speak in a normal voice. Olive May didn’t respond . Her smile quickly turned to a frown. “It’s ok if she doesn’t want to talk,” the new woman tried to ease the tension. “We understand, don’t you honey?” The husband nodded his head, giving her a wink. She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Did this man think he could trick her? The woman’s gaze fell on her stuffed animal and she held it closer, afraid it would be taken away. She felt foolish, dressed in a onesie and her diaper was obvious. Nobody could miss the large bulge that consumed her lower half. Olive May was just as big as the rest of them but they only saw her as a little girl. “Does she really need to wear the pacifier gag?” she heard Marina whisperer to Miss Whitmore. The director nodded her head. “When she learns not to bite or say naughty big girl words, only then will her paci be removed.” She may have let a couple of f-bombs slip loose before. Olive May was obviously meant to hear that as Miss Whitmore looked directly at her. The couple shook their heads, glancing at each other. She stared at the man’s shiny patent leather shoes. The woman wore plain sneakers, discreetly expensive. Olive May instantly knew that they could pay thousands to have her shipped off to one of those fancy etiquette schools where she would learn to be a “good” little girl. The “best” ones were scattered throughout Europe which she had no doubt they could afford. She’d heard Miss Nelly talking and another worker talking about them. A man named Rory, also a little, had been at the orphanage only a week before being adopted (she liked to call it kidnapping). He was every caregiver’s dream with his big blue eyes and dark thick curls. He was five feet tall and plump as a plum. She pitied him. Rory was sent to a school in Switzerland where he’d learn to love using his diapers and would find pleasure in being a baby. The schools were meant for those who had willingly chosen to be regressed but if you had enough money, you could send anyone there (willing or not). The hospitals were for those forced into this life. That was her second greatest fear; being sent to one of those schools. Her first was being spanked. She could tolerate the diaper, crib, high chair and baby talk but being hit crossed a line. The woman who had her before loved to discipline her. Sometimes it was with a paddle or a belt. Other times it was with her bare hands. She could clearly remember the blood and the burning pain. She told her that she had been bad and deserved what she got. Olive May had begun to believe her but after being taken away, realized how none of it was true. “Can we have a little bit of time alone with her?” She looked up, pulled from her thoughts. The man seemed flustered, his hands clenched into fists underneath the desk. His foot tapped against the ground. “I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Miss Whitmore responded. “Our policy is that no littles can be without a worker unless in their bedrooms secured in their cribs.” It was a stupid rule. She could take care of herself. “We only need ten minutes,” the woman pleaded. “We’re both doctors and know how to take care of littles. I can guarantee nothing is going to happen.” Both women were silent. Olive May’s chest rose and fell, she didn’t like strangers and wanted Miss Nelly to stay. There were the rare times when she liked the comfort Miss Nelly provided, such as now. She was lightly bounced on her knee, her diaper crinkling, the only noise in the room. Tears filled in her eyes as Miss Whitmore agreed. She bent down, pulling two objects from under her desk. One was a blue playpen that unfolded and the second was a bucket of toys. She set it up in the middle of the room, dumping the toys in. Olive May whined as she was pried from Miss Nelly and placed into the contraption. “You’re going to be a good girl for me, right?” she said so low that only Olive May could hear. “Remember our treat later.” The young girl nodded her head, encouraged at the thought of her treat. The women left, the door shutting behind them and the lady- Marina moved forward. Olive May flinched back. A look of hurt spread across her face and she almost felt guilty. “We would just like to take you out,” her voice was soft. “Can I pick you up?” Red flags went off in her mind. She could drop her on purpose or force her to breastfeed. That’s what the past lady made her do. She starved her until the only thing she craved was her milk. Olive May didn’t know what her intentions were and she didn’t want to find out. She shook her head, earning a frown. “How about we take the paci out then?” her husband hesitantly suggested. “I doubt it’s very comfortable.” She immediately nodded her head and he slowly moved forward. Reaching into the plastic pen, he undid the strap from her head and it slid out. She stretched her aching jaw, opening and closing her mouth, unused to having nothing there. They now sat on the ground a few feet away, seemingly out of place. Olive May was protected in the playpen which gave her mind a little peace. She glanced, weary, at Marina Tischner before focusing on the man- Christian. She could deal with him. The woman though… she was too unfamiliar. “Do you go by Olive May?” he asked. Olive. She wanted to say but the words were stuck in her throat. She still nodded her head though. “What’s your buddy’s name?” She looked at him, concerned. Why did he want to know his name? A thousand bad thoughts ran through her mind. She fiddled with her stuffed elephant named Blue. In her life before, her favorite stuffed animal was her elephant. Then at the hospital, they gave her a new one. It was a link to her past and she’d never forget with him by her side. “It’s alright if you don’t want to answer,” Christian shrugged. “We have a daughter at home and I bet she’d love to meet your elephant. She has a stuffed unicorn.” Did he mean an actual baby or another person like her? It got really confusing sometimes. She sucked on her bottom lip, looking anywhere but at the two of them. She was known to be anti-social and that usually drove people away. She hoped it worked on them. Olive May did not have the energy to put on a tantrum. Something was stopping her but she didn't know what. “Our daughter’s name is Willa and she’s only a newborn.” he said. “Do you know what a newborn is?” Of course she did. Olive May could barely stop herself from rolling her eyes. “I bet she’d love to have a big sister!” Marina exclaimed. “It gets lonely for her sometimes being with two boring adults all the time.” Her attempt to get her to smile failed. Olive May sat stony faced, unable to find any joy in this situation. She pushed around the wooden blocks in front of her, unable to do much else with her mitted fists. The man and woman shared a glance. Olive May continued to play. Some people got fed up with her selective muteness. That’s what the doctors had coined it as. There were times when she talked, mostly when angry, but she was usually silent, preferring to listen to others. It made people uncomfortable how quiet she could be. “Do you have many friends here, Olive May?” Was that a joke? “We can be friends if you’d like!” the woman piped up. “I bet we’ll have a lot of fun together!” She was delusional if she thought they could ever be friends. ooOoo A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing it means so much to me! I love to see reviews, it’s my favorite part of writing so please please leave a comment if you can To answer some questions, Part 3 of Willa’s story is going to be more of a prequel of her life before and with her brother. You will find out everything about her family then. I hope that answers anyone’s questions. I’ll update again soon and the next chapter, Willa finally makes an appearance!

This is it! This is the last chapter! I'm so happy everyone has enjoyed it thus far ❤️ On my Patreon page, I'll be posting my NEXT story next Monday! Starting the beginning of the year, I'll be back to posting patreon exclusive stories, drawings, audio books and restarting my podcast! Thanks for all your support! https://www.patreon.com/mamabug Chapter Ten Once they got into the bedroom, she pushed him down on the bed, removing all of his clothes as fast as possible. His face was red, unable to face her as she grabbed a thick diaper from the closer, some baby powder, an onesie, a pacifier, and a bottle. They have used all of those things over the years, but they weren’t used that often – when he spotted on the baby items, he felt himself grow smaller. “Lift your bottom for mommy,” she said, and he did as he was told. She slid the diaper underneath his bottom before placing baby powder all over his crotch before pulling it up and making it snug. She pulled a blue onesie over his head before snapping it at the bottom. “Is that comfy?” She asked him, and he nodded his head. She plopped the pacifier in his mouth before crawling onto the bed next to him. He curled himself into a ball as he dug his face into her chest as she wrapped her arms around him, letting one slide as she patted his bottom as she cradled him in his arms. “This is a different part of us,” she told him softly, “I don’t take care of Nathanial and compare it to what I do to you. It’s an entirely different experience. I feel differently when I’m doing things with him, and when I’m doing things with you.” He needed to hear those words from her, and he pressed himself even closer to her, letting himself relax in her arms. He was always afraid she would reject him, that she would say that it was over with the lifestyle and that he would have to give up this side of him. Now he understood that it was just as a big part to her as it was to him. That she couldn’t give it up either. They stood there for a long time before she pulled away and pulled the pacifier out of his mouth. “Are you hungry?” She asked, and he nodded his head. She then sat up and pulled off her shirt and her bra. “I’ll admit, I’ve wanted to try this with you for a while.” She wiggled, knowing what she was talking about. She wanted to try to really breastfeed him now that she was producing milk. He was always curious, too, wondering what his mommy tasted like. He sat down on her lap, making sure he wasn’t squishing her, as he positioned himself where he could quickly wrap his lips around her and begin to suckle on her. She only let him feed on the side that Nathanial already provided on since her other breast was filled and swelling for him when he woke up. But, he was still able to taste the sweetness of the milk, and he enjoyed it. Once he was done with that, she went and fetched him a bottle of real milk and fed him that way. As she put it, she wanted to make sure he filled that diaper fully up before the night was over with. “I love you, mommy.” He said he gave her a pacifier kiss as they lay there cuddling on the bed, a few minutes after she was done feeding him. He was wiggling around. He hadn’t used the bathroom in a while, but he wanted to hold it in. “I love you too, baby boy.” She said as she poked him on the nose, causing him to wiggle even more. He was so thankful for her. He was the luckiest man and little boy ever. He couldn’t thank her enough for everything that she had done for him. He promised that he would work hard to make up for everything she had put him through since their son was born. “It’s okay to use your diaper,” she then spoke a few minutes later, probably noticing that he was a bit more wiggly than he usually was, “you are a baby after all. Mommy doesn’t expect you to hold it in.” He didn’t speak but just nodded his head as she pressed her hands against his diaper, feeling it swell up with warmth as he let go and filled the diaper up. He blushed as he kept on going, and he was worried that he was going to leak. “Oh my!” She said with a giggle as she pressed her fingers even harder against his thick and wet diaper. “you really had to go! Look how big your diaper swelled up! It’s a good thing I put a diaper on you.” He wiggled about with her words, feeling himself getting even more turned on. “Yes, mommy.” “It’s going to take mommy a long time to change you. Your legs are going to get tired from being in the air.” “Yes, mommy.” He said in a small voice, “I did make a big wet diaper for mommy.” “You did,” she said with a giggle as she leaned up and gave him a large kiss on the cheek, “lay down on the bed, and mommy will change your yucky diaper!” He did as he was told, wiggling about as he waited. She returned a moment later with wipes and pealed off the tabs of his diaper, making sure to help hold his legs up in the air as she brought the diaper down, soon welcomed by his rigid member. “Oh, someone is a bit excited about being in a wet diaper and then being changed.” She said as she poked his dick with the wet wipe before cleaning him up. He couldn’t look at her directly, his face was a bright red, and he felt so little just lying there as she wiped him down. The cool, wet wipe against his skin felt good as she continued to make sure that he was completely clean, going slowly over his dick and his balls, teasing him the entire time. “There we go,” she said, “all nice and clean.” “Thank you, mommy.” He said as he tried to get up, but she pushed him back down. “I’m not done yet.” She said as she then placed her lips at the tip of his penis and began to work her way down. He let out a gasp as she did, and he laid back down as she continued to go down on him. He bit his lip hard and wiggled about. She was always so good with her mouth, and it drove him crazy. It had been a while since they’ve been intimate. “You like that baby?” She asked as she licked him. “Y-yes, mommy.” He said with a groan. She let out a small laugh as she then got on top of him, letting herself ease onto him; he felt her warmth and wetness as she began to rock her hips back and forth, her breast jiggling with every movement. “Oh, mommy.” He let out a gasp of pleasure as she leaned down and kissed him as she wiggled her ass, going up and down, giving him pleasure that intensified every second. He tried to calm himself to last enough to let her go first, but it was difficult since it had been such a long time, and she was so damn sexy. “Don’t cum yet,” she would tell him as she rode him, slowing down whenever she thought he was getting too close, which just caused him to moan out in disappointment whenever she did, “you can’t cum until I do.” He began to grab at her breast and rub them, playing with her nipples and biting his lip when he heard her moan with his touch. “It’s happening,” she said as she began to grab at his chest, digging her nails in as the pleasure started to build up in her body, to the point that she couldn’t hold back anymore. He wasn’t far behind her, and soon they were panting heavily on each other. “That was amazing,” He said a few moments later, panting heavily. “Indeed,” she said with a grin as she wrapped her arms around him, “that was really hot. We need to do that more often.” “Haha, yeah, we do,” he said. They laid like that for about ten minutes, when they suddenly heard a cry from the baby monitor. “Baby is up,” Samantha said with a sigh as she went to get up, but Jonathan pushed her back. “Wait, you get ready for bed; I got this.” He said as he began to slip on some clothes quickly. “You sure?” She asked. “Yes,” he replied as he kissed her on the lips before leaving the room, walking into Nathanial’s room, and picking up the crying baby, as he patted his back and told him everything was going to be okay. Because he knew it would be. He would no longer run away from his problems. If he were ever feeling lonely or sad again, he would talk to his wife instead of running. When Nathanial was born, he promised that he would do everything for him, but he neglected him for the past month. It would change now. He was going to be the father that he deserved as well as the husband that Samantha earned. It was time for a new change in life.

I winced as the moving truck hit a pothole. There had been a lot of potholes since we had turned down this road that seemed to have been forgotten by time, and it seemed the state of Texas Maintenance Division. I could see my dad periodically glancing up in the rear view mirror to check on me every time we hit a bump. I groaned in pain as my metal leg braces rattled up against the seat. My legs, still healing from the last break thanks to an old bat of a lady who found the potato chip aisle more interesting than watching where she was pushing her cart, were beginning to ache. “It barely touched her, she’s fine!” The old lady had insisted. My incessant wails of pain and the shards of bones nearly protruding from the skin said otherwise. Four more surgeries, and five months of physical therapy later and I was somewhat back on my feet. Kind of. I looked down at my legs and grimaced, now painfully swollen in the confines of the braces. Without the braces supporting my weight and keeping them straight, my legs were almost useless. They had been broken so many times they bent this way and that. There was next to no muscle mass, despite everyone telling me there was still a chance of gaining some use out of them if I just kept working on strengthening the muscles. To this, I always responded with, “What muscles?” My legs stopped where normal people my age's knees should be. Between that and my curved spine, I was a whopping 3 ft and 4 in, or a little over 102 centimeters tall. At school, I was by far, the shortest kid in my junior high. I usually hid my midget legs under a long skirt, or had a light blanket on my lap, mostly relying on my powered wheelchair to get from class to class as an aid from the disability department trailed behind me. To be fair though, it wasn’t really that old lady’s fault for breaking my legs. She really had only tapped me with her cart as she said. It would have been so much worse if I hadn’t been in my wheelchair; the fall could have killed me. When I was around one and half, my mom lifted me by the legs while changing my diaper and heard, what she thought at the time, was the cat batting something around on the floor nearby. I began screaming bloody murder for the rest of the day. After changing me and realizing no amount of bottles, food, cuddling, or sleep would console me, she reluctantly took me to the emergency room. After all, all she had done was change me, there was no way I was hurt. Turns out, the sound she heard wasn’t the cat. It was my hip breaking. It opened up a whole CPS investigation after reading the results of my x-rays. Not only was my hip broken with no possible explanation other than a diaper change, but after another set of x-rays just to see if I had sustained other injuries in their care, they saw improperly healed breaks in my right leg, right arm, three broken toes, two fingers, and a rib. My parents almost lost custody of me right then and there. Hospital staff were in the middle of filling out a child abuse report when a doctor noticed a strange phenomena in my eyes. Where the white should have been, there were instead streaks of blue. After running more tests, I was diagnosed with osteogenesis imperfecta, more commonly known as brittle bones syndrome. “You doing okay back there, Forest?” my dad asked. “Are you trying to hit every bump in the road?” I replied. “You’re gonna break my neck before we even get there!” The last thing I wanted was to be in a neck brace again. I’ve learned to live with being confined to a chair, all I ask in return is free range of my neck. It was awful only seeing what was directly in front of me. I could hear my mom playfully chastise him about the nickname, but he just laughed. We had a bit of a twisted sense of humor in our family. My real name was Jasmine, but my dad either called me Wade or Forest, depending on if my braces were on or off. Both of them horrified the general public, and I got just as much of a kick out of it as my parents did. My parents, my dad especially, were not very politically correct about my condition, and I liked it that way. Dealing with people was awkward, I didn’t need that kind of tension at home. I’ve been told I hide my insecurities behind a self-deprecating sense of humor. During my physical therapy sessions, as I held onto the staff’s hands and inched my way up and down the hallways my father could often be heard shouting, “Run, Forest, Run!” Seeing the horrified looks on the staff and fellow patients faces was priceless. It wasn’t until he explained why he sometimes called me “Wade” that almost got him kicked off the visitor list. Some jokes were meant to stay amongst family. Two years ago, for my 13th birthday, my dad had taken me to the movies to see DeadPool 2. When the scene came on where Wade sat on the couch with a normal top half and baby legs, my dad leaned over and whispered, “See, you could be a movie star if you wanted to.” “Oh, Forest, listen!” My dad said suddenly before turning up the radio. Oh no. I let out a groan. “Our song is on!” A soft guitar melody played before Ed Sheeran, accompanied by my dad, began to belt, “When your legs don’t work they used to before!” “Stop it!” I groaned and shook my head. “And I can’t sweep you off of your feet!” “I’m taking my hearing aids out!” I said yanking out the small brown devices from my ears. I could still hear him, but he was muffled and sounded further away, almost as if underwater. I hadn’t realized how much I had begun to rely on reading lips until the pandemic hit. The hearing aids helped, but only so much. With everyone wearing masks, understanding people had almost become impossible without saying, “Can you repeat that?” at least ten times. I had at some point broken a handful of small bones in both my ears and now sound didn’t travel as well into the inner canals. In other words, my ears were deformed because I kept sticking my fingers in them as a kid digging for wax. Thank god I wasn’t a nose picker or I’d have suffocated during this pandemic. When I was sure the singing was over, I put my hearing aids back in. No need damaging my ears any more than they already were by listening to my dad try to hit the high notes. “Honey, is the other van still following us? I haven’t seen it in quite a while.” “They probably just took the main road further down. It’s fine, I’ll call them when we stop.” “Are we stopping soon?” I ask hopefully. I had never been in a car this long and my joints were beginning to ache. I fought against the 5 point harness that had me buckled in straight and tried my best to get comfortable. I stared at my little brother, Evan, enviously. He was sacked out in his car seat completely dead to the world. “There’s a gas station about 40 miles.” My dad said. “40 miles.” My mom grimaced. “Is there anywhere closer to stop? I really have to go to the bathroom.” “There’s plenty of cactus to choose from.” my dad said. “Very funny.” My mom said. “No, seriously.” My dad chuckled. “How about a Gatorade bottle?” My mom let out a snort. “What about you, Forest?” I rolled my eyes. “Jeez, you women are so picky. Why did I think a road trip with girls would be a good idea? If we have to stop at every gas station so you can pee we’ll never get there.” “Just because you have no problem going on the side of the road doesn’t mean we all have to. Right, Jaz? Jaz?” “My life would be so much less painful if I was a guy. I would so pee on the side of the road if I was a dude.” I admitted. “Forest, no, you can’t be a boy.” My dad said suddenly, before breaking out in a grin. “That would have been the first thing you’d break.” “That would be an awkward trip to the emergency room.” My mom admitted. “Hi, 911? Yes, my son, James, broke his penis touching himself again, should we just glue it back on or- oh ok, I guess it’s Jasmine from now on.” I laughed. “There’s no bones in a penis… I already googled that before.” “Why are you googling penises, Jaz?” my mom asked, turning around to look at me. “To know if I would have broken it by now.” I admitted. “But you can’t so…” “What would you do if you had a penis for a day?” My dad asked. I laughed as my mom smacked him. “What kind of question is that to ask of our 15 year old daughter?” “I would have definitely taken you up on that Gatorade bottle, and then I would helicopter dick myself to Austin already.” “Enough about penises, both of you.” My mom said, shaking her head. We rode in silence for a few seconds until my mom added, “I’d take you up on the Gatorade bottle too.” ………………………………………………………. When we finally pulled up into the gas station, I watched as my mother nearly bowled over a group of children on her way to get inside. “Uh, I can wait, thanks.” I said, still strapped into the seat. My dad chuckled. “I’ll get your chair, sit tight. She’ll be back to help you.” I could hear my dad rummaging in the back. There was lots of crashing, and swearing, before finally the back door shut again. My mom still hadn’t come back yet, and I was starting to fidget. It wasn’t good for me to wait this long. My bladder wasn’t very strong, and getting in and out of the car, into the chair, then into a bathroom and on the toilet was a whole production that took time. I craned my neck and looked for either sign of them. Finally, my dad came back, but without my wheelchair. “Small problem.” He said. “It’s in the other truck.” I looked at him horror struck. I could walk five, maybe ten steps max with assistance. Someone, most likely my dad, was going to have to carry me. As much as we tried to avoid it for both our sakes, sometimes it was the unavoidable cost of needing constant care that he occasionally had to help me with personal needs. My mom couldn’t be everywhere, and sometimes I had to be picked up. Since I couldn’t afford to be dropped even a single time, my dad had to do it. Even grabbing me wrong could break bones. I sighed in defeat. He’d have to be the one to take me to the toilet. “Let’s get this over with.” I unbuckled myself and scooted to the far edge as I could and slowly inched myself down the makeshift ramp on my butt until my legs were dangling outside the van. “Sorry, Forest. We can’t leave Evan in the car. We’ll have to wait for your mom to come back and we’ll all go together.” “Yay,” I said sarcastically. We waited a few more minutes. I was getting more desperate. We tried to make small talk, but I interrupted his speech on how great the children's hospital here was. “Dad, I can’t wait much longer.” I admitted. “Can you watch, Evan? Will you be okay by yourself for a minute? I’ll see what's going on.” I shrugged and hung out on my perch for a few minutes. My dad came back with a large grin on his face. He ignored my many questions before digging in the back and coming out with a pair of my mom’s pants. He chuckled and shook his head. He said something, but I couldn’t read his lips behind the mask. He gave me a thumbs up, but I gave him a thumbs down. “Stupid legs.” I mumbled. I looked left and right. The place was deserted. I was more and more tempted to just hike up my skirt, pull down my underwear and go on the ledge and be done with it, but the problem was my braces. They would have to be taken off. The plastic floor could be rinsed off with a water bottle, but the leg braces cost at least $5,000 each. They were in the way and they kept my legs from going sideways. They ran all the way up from my feet to my hips. “C’mon guys, hurry up.” I sighed in relief when I saw both my parents rushing forward. My mom was holding a bag in her hand and looking uncomfortable. Without a word she threw the bag in the back with the boxes and closed the door before coming to join us. “I’m so sorry, Jaz,” she said. “I thought the chair was in the back and your dad would have you loaded and waiting. Mike, help me get the braces off her.” They worked as fast as they could, but I was running out of time. My mom’s hand kept fumbling with the straps. I was biting my lip and clenching my fist and beginning to rock back and forth. “Hurry up!” I moaned at them. My dad got the left brace off first and set it aside. The air felt so good on my bare, sweaty leg. He looked up and around. Only one other car was in the parking lot and there was no one by it. “I’m going to pull off your clothes, okay?” I nodded and readied my hands to cover myself. I winced in pain as the fabric, as gentle as he was, slid down my legs. It didn’t take much to irritate the nerve endings. “Got it.” My mom said, freeing my other leg. I was finally naked from the waist down. Going inside wasn’t an option. My dad had already turned around and was standing at the other end of the van to give me privacy with however this ended. “I guess you can just go there.” my mom said. I frowned. I had already leaked several times, and it was clear it would go down a leg if not both. The thought of my legs getting wiped down right now made me hesitate, despite wanting nothing more than to just get this over with. “Clean up will hurt.” I said. “Do you see any way she can go without getting it on her legs?” “Uhh, maybe.” My dad said. “I don’t think she’ll like it though.” “Will it hurt?” I asked. “I’ll have to pick you up, but I don’t think it will get down your legs.” “Do it.” I said reaching out my arms to be picked up. I didn’t care who saw what at this point. “Please don’t pee on me though.” He said. I winced as he slowly picked me up. “But I love you.” I said through clenched teeth. My eyes were shut tight. I didn’t want to know his plan, I only wanted relief. “I’d only be marking my territory.” “Don’t you dare.” He said. I felt myself get lowered onto something hard and plastic. “There you go. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” His arms were wrapped around my chest keeping me steady. “Go on.” “Mike! Seriously!” I heard my mom call out. It was too late to change plans though. It was sweet relief. I didn’t care where I was. What mattered was my braces, and it wasn’t going down my legs at all. I didn’t give my dad enough credit. He saved me. He was my hero, my savior. He was- I opened my eyes- He was SO DEAD! “So anyway, yeah.” I emailed my friend on the phone. “That’s how I got my butt stuck in a trash can lid in front of a 7/11 for twenty minutes today. My dad had to pour vegetable oil on me in order to get me out. The clerk even came out and offered to call the fire department for us. Luckily, I kind of look like a little kid with a mask on. Oh yeah, so my dad told me my mom got traveler’s diarrhea, only she forgot her phone in the cab and couldn’t text for help. So I guess I wasn’t the only one in an awkward position.” ……………………………………………………………………………………….. I was exhausted when we finally arrived at the motel. My hips, legs and back hurt. My three year old brother, Evan was screaming his head off and no one could get a hold of the driver in our other U-haul. It wasn’t just my wheelchair, it was all of my medical gear, my records, my clothes. It was a good thing I didn’t pee myself earlier because until we find the truck, all I have is the clothes on my back. I crawled on the floor, dragging my near limp legs behind me into the bedding my mom made me on the floor. I wasn’t happy about not getting to sleep in a bed, but there was nothing to prevent me from rolling off. I was even less happy about the other arrangement. “But I’m not even a bed wetter!” I protested. “I know you’re not, sweetie, but we don’t want you crawling around and getting hurt in the night. I know this isn’t ideal, but we weren't planning on not having any of your things with us.” I had a special mat I could put on the floor that absorbed my weight and put less stress on my wrists, but that was in the other truck. When I wasn’t in my chair, I was dragging myself along the floor. “I’m not wearing Evan’s bedwetting shorts. I’m 15!” “Jazz, you had to pee in a trashcan today.” “At least I made it to one.” I mumbled under my breath. “Look, it’s just in case for whatever reason. Maybe you wake up in the night and you’re just in too much pain, or you can’t wake us. No one’s making you use them, but if you do it’s no big deal, here’s some wipes, and a spare. There’s a trashcan by your head. Just slip it off and throw it away and no one will know.” “Mom! That’s-” “Just wear it, Jasmine.” My dad said into his pillow. “We want to go to sleep.” “Fine.” I grumbled. “What?” I asked when my mom knelt down next to me. “I want to see what it looks like.” She slid my skirt and underwear down and winced. “Oh, Jaz. That looks so painful. It’s all swollen.” “Yeah.” I mumbled into the pillow. “It hurts.” I winced when she started rubbing ointment into my skin. “I’ll get you something for the pain in a minute, this is just for the swelling.” I nodded, before pulling out my hearing aids, and laying my head down on the pillow. I let out a yelp when she got to my hip as I let her guide the shorts up my waist. “I changed my mind. You’re staying put tonight.” She handed me a pill and a sip of water. I wish I would have listened. A few hours later I woke up with a nagging bladder. I didn’t want to use the shorts, but I couldn’t fall back asleep no matter how much I tried. In my half conscious mind, still heavy with sleep and oxy, I began to crawl to the bathroom. I made it two feet away from my blanket pile. I heard the snap before I felt it. In the blink of an eye, I was on the ground. My mind was filled with hot searing pain that radiated from my left wrist to my elbow. I was vaguely aware of dull muted voices around me as I rolled on the ground clutching my arm and screaming in pain. Hands picked me up and carried me out into the night. We had no way of knowing this trip to the emergency room wouldn’t be like all the rest.

Hi! I wanted to start sharing some of my stories here. This is the first chapter in a pretty long series - so please pardon the slowness as I set the stage a little. I'll be sharing new chapters here weekly. And while I have you here - I do have a rather active Patreon where I post a bit of exclusive content, as well as giving my patrons the ol' first access to stories like this one here. They're already reading Chapter 5. So if you're curious, impatient, or just want to see what other kinky little stories I've been conjuring, have a looksie at my Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/quietlyhumiliated). Thanks! --- “How, exactly, did you say you knew this woman again?” It felt silly to be asking this question now, considering that I had known about the trip for a month and that we were two hours into a six hour drive there. But it still seemed peculiar to me. Lily and I had been married for five years, and courted for a few years before that. And in all this time, I had very little recollection of a Madison. “Madison used to be my best friend,” Lily responded with a sigh. “I told you this. In high school we were inseparable.” “And you just...lost touch?” “Well sure,” she said with a shrug as she drove. “It happens. We had different goals in life. I wanted to live in the city and work in the press. Eat sushi. Drink expensive cocktails. She wanted to be a mother.” “You do eat a lot of sushi,” I teased. “I’m glad to see you’ve cut down on the expensive cocktails.” “It was nice to reconnect with her online,” she said, sidestepping my attempt for humor. “I miss her. It’ll be good to see her again.” I felt like a third wheel, and we hadn’t even arrived yet. However, it was with Lily and Maddy’s insistence that I tag along. I was assured that it was a big farm, with a lake, some trails and tons of fresh food. If nothing else, I didn’t want to turn down the chance to unwind a little in the country. I gazed out the window for a while, watching billboards for car dealerships blur by. I found myself dwelling on something Lily had said. “You said that Madison wanted to pursue having a family?” “Yeah,” Lily said. “But...you told me before that she lives by herself out in the country now, right? “Well, not by herself. She just doesn’t have a family.” It was a strange distinction, but it was also the first time that I knew there’d be someone else at the house besides the two of us and Madison. “Who else lives with her, then?” “Another woman. Her name is...Kate? I think. I honestly don’t know much about her.” I nodded, but I felt my stomach twist a little. It was a silly thing, but I began worrying about being more self-conscious than I was going to be already. There was something about women in general, especially women I didn’t know, that just made me clam up. It was nothing short of a miracle that I had married a woman at all, let alone one as fantastic as Lily. The rest of the drive was as much of a slog as the first half had been, though the scenery slowly grew more rural. There were less billboards and rest stops and more decaying farmhouses and pastures full of cows. My anxiety had melted away a little too - there was something about the country air that set my mind at ease and made it a little easier to digest the fact that there were now two strange women I’d have to make a good impression towards. “This is it,” Lilly said, pointing to a small dirt road that branched off the cracked and broken highway we had been on for the last 30 minutes. Given the lack of a street sign, I assumed it was a driveway, but if that was the case, it was the longest driveway I’d ever been on before. I imagined 5 or 6 city blocks fitting between the highway and the house in the time it took us to traverse the winding dirt path. Arriving at our destination, my mouth was agape at just how perfect everything seemed. The gorgeous old farmhouse with its wraparound porch. The old barn atop the knoll behind it, overlooking the sprawling lake and its dock. The pasture rolling into an orchard, separated by an aged fence. It was picturesque. A woman stood outside the house. Her dark hair tucked back beneath a thick headband. She even wore overalls and chunky leather boots. The entire experience felt like I had accidentally stumbled into a romantic comedy that took place on a farm. “Well well well,” the woman said with a joyful look on her face. “Look at what the wind blew in.” We stepped out of the car, the hours of traveling with only a single stop for food taking its toll on our cramped and sore bodies. We both stretched and unfolded our limbs. A deep breath of clean fresh air did wonders for my body and my spirit though; as if it had just rewound time to before we even got into the car. By the time I walked around the car, Lily and the woman were embracing tightly - I could see tears of happiness rolling down her face. After a few minutes of this, with me awkwardly trying to split my attention between their reunion and the beautiful sights of the farm, they finally released each other. “Oh...I should introduce you,” Lily said, straightening out her glasses and sheepishly running a hand through her curly blonde hair. “Madison, this is my husband Henry.” Madison stepped forward, and took my outstretched hand in hers. I hadn’t expected such strength in her slender figure, but she gave my hand a firm shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said. I wanted to add, I’ve heard a lot about you, but that wasn’t even true. “You’re taking good care of my friend here?” Her hands were on her hips. “Well...I…” “Calm down, buddy, I’m just teasing you.” She gave me a playful punch to the arm. “Lily wouldn’t waste her time with some ding dong.” “Let’s not go that far,” Lily teased, and the two girls started laughing together. It was surreal to me - there was this almost immediate rapport and connection between the two of them, as if no time had even passed. Maybe that wasn’t unheard of between old friends, but considering that I barely knew who this woman was, Lily herself suddenly seemed more mysterious to me. “I just got some water on the stove. Can I get you a cup of tea?” Madison asked. “That sounds perfect actually,” Lily replied. “Henry?” “No tea for me, thank you.” I was only half-listening - I kept finding myself distracted by how gorgeous the farm itself was. “Why don’t we go in and get some tea. I can help you bring in your bags in a few minutes. Henry, why don’t you go take a walk around the farm? I promise, you can’t get lost - you can see the house from just about anywhere on the property.” “Are there animals up in the barn?” I asked, pointing to the big barn on the hill. “The tractor is in there, and mostly supplies. And hay. If you’re looking for animals, we have some goats and chickens down that way.” Madison pointed down another hill towards some smaller buildings. I could see the fenced-in chicken coop next to it. “The goats are probably all over the place this time of day, but you might catch a lazy one taking a nap in there. Oh, and Kat might be around somewhere.” “Aww,” I said. “What’s the kitty’s name?” Madison laughed. “No, sorry, not a cat. Kat. She lives here too.” I blushed a little, feeling stupid for asking the question, though neither seemed to dwell on the moment long. “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Lily said, “Kat is your...roommate?” “Well, sure, I guess,” Madison said with a shrug. “My partner.” “Ohhh! Gosh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were…” “Oh it’s not a big deal,” Madison replied with a casual shrug. “I didn’t know either. And then one day you see a cute girl and you think to yourself, ‘I’m going to make her sit on my face.’” The girls laughed again, as I found myself blushing. It was a cute sentiment, but I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. I excused myself and made my way down the hill towards the small barn, catching moments of loud laughter behind me as the two girls reacquainted further. Good for her, I thought. Good for them. I was genuinely happy they reconnected. And I was happy to be on this farm. I could see a goat or two out in the field as I approached the building. The closer I got, the stronger the scent of the animals got. It wasn’t offensive - I had been on farms and around animals before. But between the goats and chickens, a thick “farm scent,” for lack of a better word, permeated the air here. I pondered whether or not I liked it more than the scent of old garbage and the exhaust of city streets. Taking a step into the barn, I saw a number of stalls lined up on either side, each having cute wooden plaques with the name of their current resident. Trudy. George. Batman. Penelope. Bethany. Carlos Santana. Pretty good goat names. “Hello?” I said aloud. “Any goats in here? Trudy? Batman? Carlos?” I heard something moving behind one of the short walls towards the end of the stalls. I walked towards it slowly, assuming it was an animal. Still - it seemed weird for it to be an animal, considering that it sounded like it was coming from an area that wasn’t a part of the stalls themselves. Had I discovered a rogue goat or chicken? I crept past the stalls, and as I rounded the corner to where I heard the sounds, I was surprised by seeing...a head full of ginger colored hair. “Oh! Uhm…” the red head seemed to have stashed herself away in this small space, and she was...squatting? I couldn’t really tell what it was she was doing. Whatever it was, her face had turned beet red and she practically leaped to her feet. “I’m so sorry to have startled you!” I said, worried I had given the girl a heart attack. “Madison said I could come down and look at the barn and…” “O-of course,” she said, a sheepish smile showing on her blushed face. “I...I’m Kat. You must be Lily’s husband?” “Yeah,” I said, offering my hand again. She shook it, a gentler and more timid grasp of my hand. “All the goats are out in the field now,” she said. “Y-you could still go out and walk around and see them if you want to.” “I can come back later,” I said with a shrug. She seemed distracted. Perhaps interrupted. I felt bad that I had barged into the barn without warning. “I can go head back up to the house for now, I was just being nosey…” “Well, uhm, yeah, you’re welcome to hang around if you want. I was just...uh...doing some chores. But...I’ll see you around, yeah?” “Sounds good! Nice to meet you.” “Same,” she said bashfully. As quickly as she popped up from the corner of the barn, she fled out a side door. It was a strange interaction - perhaps most strange because for all my worrying about being awkward, I hadn’t been the awkward one. I took one last look in the small cubby between the last stall and the barn’s wall where Kat had been - curious to see what she might have been working on - but there didn’t seem to be anything of note. Nothing broken. No tools. Just a small space between walls. I shrugged, heading back up to the house.

Chapter Twenty-Five "Ariel really isn't a good role model..." I muttered, but got distracted by the perfect job she'd done on my nails. "Holy cow, they look so good, how did you get them so perfect? And no paint on the edges of my fingers, either? No streaks? Wow." Marnie laughed a little and kissed her princess on the back of the hand. She wasn't sure what his Littlespace looked like, or if he even had one. But this unbridled interest was definitely a step in the right direction. "I've had a lot of practice. I could teach you sometime? How about next time you are over? How is your movie?" "It's okay, I think Ariel is a dummy though, and that's fine because she's real pretty, but I wish she were just a bit smarter? And that Ursula wasn't being shoehorned as a villain when all she was doing was keeping her end of the deal.” What else had she asked? I got distracted by my nails in the pretty lavender. "Oh, I need to take a picture of these to show Ky." "Don't worry, we'll take pictures very soon. I still have more to do." Though Marnie was excited to have the same nails as her young charge, she was more excited that Ellie seemed to forget all about it. Marnie had other plans. She went into the bathroom and grabbed some supplies. El's hair was pretty short, so this would be a little complicated. She usually worked with long hair, but she had seen enough YouTube videos to get an idea. She brought the mess of hair products, makeup, and headbands into the living room and set them down on the couch. When El looked curious, she replied simply: "Watch your movie, babygirl." "Okay, but my skincare routine is pretty lax - I tend toward pretty balanced skin, and I only moisturize at night." I told her that information, because like any self respecting boy I at least knew to moisturize, and then did as she asked and went back to the movie. I really really hoped Ariel got her comeuppance and soon. He wasn't kidding about his skin - it was very soft and very pretty. She covered it in a very light foundation - cover-up wasn't even necessary. He would tilt his head and try to see around her as she painted it on and Marnie did her best to stay out of his way. Then she did very light eye-shadow, just to bring out his eyes, and blush on his cheeks and nose. She wanted very badly to go all out with eye-liner, but it didn't fit the little-girl aesthetic. Oh well. "Hold very still," she told him, holding the mascara wand to his eyelashes. She had to pause the movie for this part. But soon enough, once his lips were painted with a pastel pink lip-shine, she was done. Only hair to go... "I think Ariel is prettier with legs and without a voice, because at least then it’s harder to figure out she’s an airhead. Like I think there's a thing on that in um... ummm.." I snapped my fingers, trying to remember cause this was all very clouding of my thoughts, then pursed my painted lips for a second before it came to me. "Philosophy, that's the thing." Marnie laughed at El's commentary. He was charming, when he wasn't so nervous. To be honest, he was charming anyway. She rubbed a thickening mouse in her hands and started to run it through the boy's hair. El had really nice hair - nicely styled, nicely cut - but it was too short for most of Marnie's ideas. If she thickened it up, gave it a bit more bounce, she could pair it with a headband and he would look way more feminine. Sure enough, after finding a flower-adorned headband that matched his dress and setting it properly behind his ears, he looked like a picture-esque little girl. A toddler girl? Probably not. But he could easily pass as a teenage girl at an anime con. And without more time, that was the best she could get. "Hey you finished just as the movie did, that's serendippy..." What was that word? My brain kept putting diaper right in the middle of it, cause of the present situation. "Serendipitous!" "That's a very big word for such a little girl," Marnie said with a kiss on El's forehead. She stood up and stretched, looking down at her princess who - by and large - looked exactly like a princess! It was amazing what a few fancy clothes and a bit of makeup could do. "You look so gorgeous, Ellie. And I know Ky wanted a picture of her sister. Do you think I could take a few? No pressure." "Sure! No mirrors, though, and I don't want to see the pictures." It was the first thing I'd said that wasn't tinged with an air of whimsy to it, like it was a lot more important than commentary of the movie. Marnie blinked in surprise. That was... not very common in this generation. Even Marnie liked to see her own pictures before they were sent to someone. And it made her wonder... "Alright. Well how about you stand up over here... hmm. Something's missing." Marnie tapped her cheek for a minute before she figured it out. "Oh, your owl! How about you go get them?" "Oh! Owlive. Of course, what's a Princess without her little animal familiar to help her get dressed in the mornings? I'm pretty sure that's the rules." I skittered away to find my little Owl friend. Marnie wasn't sure what to make of Eliot. On one hand, he seemed to be in Littlespace, or some version of it. The problem was: all Littlespaces were different. El's was similar to Ky's, but was that just mimicry? She wasn't sure. When Ellie returned with his owl, Marnie posed her for pictures. One in a cute pose, holding his owl. One with his owl at his side. And one final one of his nails close up, so Ky could see. "Brilliant. I hope that cheers her up. She was so down having to go see here Mom - she'd much rather be here with her Mommy, I promise." I was so fricking clever! Marnie laughed at his joke and kissed him on the top of the head. She had been worried that he was just playing along, but it didn't seem that way. Actually, he seemed to really be enjoying himself. Maybe she shouldn't push his boundaries... "Hey, princess?" Marnie asked. "I was wondering... why don't you want to see what you look like? Do you worry you aren't pretty?" "I don't want to talk about that, please." I'd cried in this woman's shoulder last time and I was not entirely eager to repeat that experience. Marnie nodded her head and walked Ellie to the sofa, where she sat down and pulled him up onto her lap. The pull-up crinkled beneath her dress and Marnie felt a serene pride swell up inside her. Her little princess... "Ellie, sweetie... I know we haven't known each other long, but I really, deeply care about you. You're... passionate and shy and so brilliant. And you're more insightful than you know. You've understood more things since the day we've met than I've learned in years. And I really want you to be happy, okay?" "I'm like the happiest person I know; you don't need to worry about that." Sitting in a girl’s lap? That was one of the more unusual things to have happened in my life. At a party once, some guys had passed me around from lap to lap, but girls didn't tend to go lapping boys. I wriggled some, pursing painted lips at the odd sound and sensation of the crinkling undergarments, and the foreign sensation of uncovered legs. "You really like this, don't you?" Marnie said with a bit if a smile. But there was worry in her eyes. "Since I met you, I've sort of thought... but last time you were here, when you dressed up? And you played Kylie's sister? I've been thinking..." Oof, Marnie thought. Here we go. "Do you want to be a girl, Ellie? Like... not just for play, but for real too?" "Who even knows?" I answered, honestly, shrugging my shoulders. "I struggle with the literal basics in life - like eating, or socializing, or getting a job. It's like a puzzle I can't even fit the nine little pieces into, yet. Last thing I have time to think about is another puzzle. So I wear panties, that piece fits. I paint my nails, that piece fits. And I guess being here, doing this, fits. Although I fret like a guitar over Kylie getting insecure over this." Well, this conversation was going better than Marnie thought it would. Maybe she could push a little more. "What if you could start over. Like... character creator, in one of Ky's video games." Marnie knew things! "You get to design yourself. Would you pick a girl? Or perhaps finely dressed boy?" "I don't know, those things make me anxious. She's made me play a video game once or twice before, and she used to always come to me to help her with those Skywindy games or whatever they are, and I don't know. Everyone's got a thing, maybe my thing is just the things I do now and it isn't more than that?" "That's possible," Marnie said with a smile. "Maybe you're a very pretty boy who likes being a princess. And Mommy will love you no matter what." Marnie hadn't meant to say "love" - she knew she was a little loose with that word in her Mommyspace. But honestly, the more time she spent with El, the more protective and maternal she grew toward him. She wanted nothing more than to make sure he was happy. "It's funny how you managed to take a big and heavy word, and make it light and delicate and easy to feel. Recontextualization. You're good at that." Me, I didn't know what I was good at, or who I was supposed to be good at being. "I know that seeing myself in that mirror that night was like looking into the dark with no stars, with something moving that I can't make out." "And you're afraid to see that again," Marnie said, as more of a statement than a question. She thought about it for a minute and nodded her head. "Well, Princess Ellie. I think we should go look in the mirror together." I looked at her in a bit of surprise and replayed what she said in my head, because I was sure she didn't say what I thought she'd said. "No thank you, I'd really rather not. I'm having a really good night and I don't want to lose that." "You're afraid of seeing the same reality as last time. The reality that it's impossible to look like anything but a boy in a nightgown. But reality can be so much more. You're the most beautiful, adorable, sweet little girl today, and that's what will be in the mirror. Not a boy in a nightgown." Marnie tilted Ellie's chin up so the two made eye contact. She spoke with such certainty, and such kindness. "You taught me... telling someone what to do gives them permission to do something they might never have done. That letting someone run away only gives them the burden of uncertainty. If I let you run from this thing you're afraid of, then I would be complicit in your misery." Marnie shook her head and spoke sternly. "I won't do that. We are going in there together and you are looking in that mirror and no matter how you feel, I'm going to be here for you. If we fight, then we fight. And if you never talk to me again, then you never talk to me again. But tonight, right now, you're going to do what I say little lady, because I'm doing what is best for you. Do you understand?" I had so many rebuttals, so much to say to refute her, and I was so good until she started to use my own darn wisdom against me, and just like that all of the wind deflated out of my sails and flowed to my now very puffed out cheeks... which then deflated in a sigh of defeat. "I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna be a sookie lala." "And I'll be there to dry every single tear, my darling girl." Marnie stood Ellie up on his feet and got up herself. She stood tall on the best of days, but in this moment, she seemed to stand even taller. She took Ellie by the hand and led him into the bathroom, the same one he had cried in during his last visit. Marnie only hoped that Ellie saw the same thing she did: the young boy really was a very beautiful girl. I had my eyes squeezed tight, hoping that maybe she wouldn't notice and would be satisfied with the effort I put in. When the silence became too much to bear, I opened my eyes and faced my fear in the mirror. Deep breath. And. Nothing. I blinked at what I saw. The bathroom in the mirror, and Marnie in the mirror, the dim light that flickered every few seconds only a little bit, and the doorway that led back into the living room. And some other girl I didn't recognize. "Huh..." I took a step forward, other hand still in Marnie's, and pressed my fingers to the mirror. The girl did the same. But my brain couldn't connect her to me. She was a fantasy, a figment, an imaginary construct. Another world in the mirror, where everything was just a little bit different. She looked confused, and I knew it was because I looked confused, because I knew that the girl in the mirror was me. That was Ellie. And it wasn't magic. It wasn't exaggeration, or some silly wish fulfillment. She was just there, as I was here. The girl in the mirror. "You're so adorable," Marnie whispered in his ear, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pushing her cheek to his headband. She was a picturesque princess. Certainly not a boy, which - Marnie was hoping - was a good thing. "I'm sure Kylie feels silly now for saying no to dating me, cause she only likes girls, huh?" I smirked - and on the girl’s face, that looked mischievous and playful - and took my eyes away from the reflection to look at Marnie. "Maybe I just can't see myself, so that makes it okay?" "What do you mean, sweetheart? You're right there." Marnie pointed in the mirror again, at the gorgeous girl. Marnie had admittedly outdone herself. Not too strong on the makeup. Accentuate the boy's best features, of which there were many! And his hair was pretty cute too, if it was styled right. "What do you think, Ellie? Do you think you want to keep being this pretty thing all the time?" "That's an awfully big question to ask someone you keep reminding is an awfully little girl, isn't it?" I was being avoidant, and we both knew it. So I took a more realistic response, less playful, more honest. "Marnie.. I change my outfits three times a day. I flake out of job interviews because I'm worried about being stuck there. I never declared a major, even. Asking me if I want to do anything all the time is... anathema, I think. I've never done anything all the time. So how would I even know if I wanted that, if I don't recognize it?" "You can always change your mind later," Marnie said with a smile. "Gender is your own experience." Marnie ran her fingers through Ellie's hair and kissed him on the forehead, holding him tight to her chest. With a sigh, Marnie steeled herself and made a decision. "If I'm your Mommy, then I'll decide for you. Until you're ready, okay? So until you tell me otherwise, you're a girl." Maybe Marnie was scared of being complicit in Ellie's misery. Or maybe she was more sure of herself than she thought. But if she left El to his - no, her - uncertainty, that was dooming her to struggle. No Mommy could do that, not in good conscience. Life was trial and error, and Ellie would never know which choice was wrong until she made one. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Finally finished the next installment. This one wasn't easy to write. I might have put a little too much of myself in here. To my loyal readers, all I can say is hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride. It wasn’t long before the nurse returned with the paperwork and some clothes from the lost and found. Handing the paperwork to Darryl, she put the clothes on the bed. “I thought he might like to go out in something more than just a diaper. I’ll go scare up a wheelchair while he gets dressed.” Richard looked over the clothes. There was a pair of stretchy jeans and a blue t-shirt with a picture of a rocket on it. They didn’t look too childish, but Richard figured the nurse was right, it was better than just a diaper. Susan watched him to see how he would react to the style and whether he would ask for help either to get down or get dressed. She wanted to help dress him, but didn’t want to push him too far, too fast. From what she had read while waiting for the ambulance, accidental Littles usually reacted very badly to unneeded or unwanted assistance. She wanted Richard to be comfortable with her and Darryl. She wanted to learn more about this strange Little. So far, he was the complete opposite of all she had read about Portal Littles. They were supposed to be confrontational and verbally abusive. Richard was quiet and polite. They were supposed to fight against any attempts to diaper them. Richard not only allowed it, he admitted to liking them. So, although she stayed near enough to jump in should anything happen, she waited for him to ask for help. A small smile played on her lips as he quickly put on the t-shirt, then looked around trying to figure out the best way to put the pants on. Finally, he lay on the bed, raised his legs in the air and pulled them most of the way up. Then putting his feet down on the bed, he raised his butt and pulled them the rest of the way up. Finished, he sat back up. He turned to look at Susan and blushed when he saw her smiling and softly clapping. He started to think she was being condescending until he looked at her eyes and saw nothing but simple joy and pride that he had figured out an effective solution. For some reason, this made him blush even more and he had to turn away. He was saved from further embarrassment by the nurse’s return. She was pushing a wheelchair with something on the seat. Setting the brake on the chair, she grabbed whatever it was and handed it to Darryl. “I didn’t know if you had one, so I got you a loaner car seat.” She turned and gently lifted Richard off the bed. “Now, let’s get you on this wheelchair so you can go to your new home.” She placed him in the chair and laid a blanket over his lap. As she was arranging the blanket, she leaned in and whispered in Richards ear. “Nobody should ask, but if any one does, you’re securely strapped in under this blanket. Don’t get me in trouble ok?” She gave him a cookie, kissed him on the forehead, then went around to the back of the chair and unlocked the brake. “Everybody ready to go?” The trip down the hall out of the ER was a surreal experience for Richard. He couldn’t quite fathom why he seemed to be the center of attention. The men just looked for a moment then turned back to their tasks. The women however, were an entirely different story. Every one of them couldn’t seem to take their eyes off of him. Most just smiled at him and sighed. Others had a look in their eyes that unnerved him. It was the look of a lioness sizing up a gazelle before she attacks. He never dreamed such a look could be directed at a human being, let alone him. Either way, he wasn’t comfortable being the center of attention. It made him need to pee. He did his usual routine to hold it until he realized that he didn’t need to. He stopped trying to stop it and let the small amount of fear pee out into the diaper. He decided to focus on the cookie so he wouldn’t have to look at anyone else. It was a soft oatmeal raisin cookie. Being one of his favorite kinds, and that he hadn’t eaten yet, he wolfed it down before they even reached the door. Susan was not unaware of the reactions to Richard. She easily ignored to the smile and sigh crowd. They wouldn’t do anything but fawn over him. The predators however, got a back off look that would have made a momma bear proud. Darryl was oblivious to the whole thing as he was trying to read the instructions for installing the car seat as they were walking. By the time they got outside, he had a pretty good idea of how it should go in. Getting the keys from Susan, he went to install it then bring the car around. He was glad they had to wait by the door, since there was some inevitable cursing as the seat didn’t seem to want to go in properly. Once he got it figured out and secured, he pulled the car around. Susan stepped up before he could get out and opened the back door. Leaning in, she told Darryl to just stay in the car and she would put Richard in the car seat and sit in back with him. Going back over to where Richard and the nurse were, Susan knelt down to speak to Richard. “Now, I know that most Portal Littles don’t like car seats, but it is the law that all Littles need to be in one. Will you let me put you in the seat?” “Thank you for asking. I do understand that it’s a safety issue. I’ve been driving long enough to know what can happen to an improperly secured passenger.” Susan picked him up, careful to maintain some semblance of personal space. She secured him into the car seat, closed the door, and got in on the other side. Putting her own seatbelt on, Susan turned to Richard. “While we’re driving, there are a few things we need to talk about.” She paused, trying to decide on the best way to tell him what he needed to know. Eventually, she decided that she just had to lay it out bluntly. “In this world, because of your size, you will be seen by most as just a baby or at most a toddler. Total strangers may come up to you and treat you like a baby. You have the right to be uncomfortable with that and it’s ok to act scared. What you can’t do is verbally attack them. Just give a scream and Darryl or I will handle it. As your foster parents, we have full authority to make any decision to ensure your well-being. As you saw with the doctor, most people will look to us for information and decisions, and not you. We will do our best to discuss the important things with you, but that may not always be possible. Sometimes we will need you to trust that we have your best interests in mind. Can you do that for us? You've been very good about everything so far.” Although Richard thought about what she had said, mostly he thought about all the broken promises to himself and others. He didn’t want to break another one. “I can only promise I will try. Right now, I can’t promise any more than that.” Besides, it went along with his original decision to accept whatever happened. Just because he wasn’t in Hell but just in another dimension, didn’t change the fact that he still felt that he deserved to be punished. “I can’t expect any more than that. Now, we’re going to go shopping. We weren’t expecting company, so we’re going to need some supplies. If you see something you like, don’t hesitate to let us know.” Pulling into a parking lot, they found a space. As Darryl turned the car off, Susan got out, and opening the door on Richard’s side, released him from the car seat. As she picked him up, she said. “Since you don’t have any shoes yet, you’ll have to ride in the cart.” Richard’s heart skipped a beat as the ground dropped away when Susan stood up and he instinctively closed his eyes and grabbed a hold of her shirt with both hands. He had always been afraid of heights. Even stepladders made him nervous. As she turned, Darryl showed up with a shopping cart. She put Richard in the seat and waited for him to let go of her shirt. Once he felt something solid under his butt again, Richard slowly let go of his death grip on her sleeves. As soon as her arms were free again, Susan quickly snapped the strap around Richard securing him in the seat. When Richard opened his eyes again, he had the misfortune of looking downward. When he saw his feet dangling six feet off the ground, he slammed his eyes shut again and grabbed the bars in front of him. His breath began coming in short, fast spurts. He could barely hear anything over the rush of blood in his ears. Susan started to get concerned. She had never seen this kind of reaction before. Fighting to keep herself calm, she began to rub Richard’s arms and back. She called his name in what she hoped was a calm voice. “Richard... Richard... listen to me Richard. You’re ok. You’re ok.” Slowly, the unaccustomed feeling of someone rubbing his back and arms began to register in Richard’s brain. It was unusually comforting. Soon he could hear Susan’s voice. It too, was unusually soothing. Gradually his breathing returned to normal. When he was ready, he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at her. In her eyes, he saw concern and fear. The fear was soon replaced by relief as she saw him breathing more normally. “See, I told you. You’re ok.” She took a deep breath then continued. “So, don’t like heights, huh?” Richard sadly nodded. “No. Sorry.” “Don’t you ever feel like you have to apologize for something you can’t control. You understand? There’s nothing to be ashamed about.” She chuckled. “At least we know you won’t be climbing out onto the roof any time soon.” At first, he thought she was making fun of him, but decided to let it go. It was then that he noticed an uncomfortable feeling in his diaper. This was much more than the little bit of fear pee he had experienced in the hospital. This felt like he had not only peed a lot more, but he had pooped as well. He was stunned. In all the time he had been wearing and using diapers as an adult, he had always been aware of when he was going. Even at night, he would always wake up and consciously let it go. He didn’t know how to feel about this. On the one hand, it was every ABDL’s dream. On the other hand, it was another kind of losing control. Every time he lost control, he did something stupid and messed up his life. Like losing jobs, losing friends, breaking things. He hated himself for it, but couldn’t seem to stop it. Since she was watching him, Susan saw his face go from thoughtful, to shocked, to angry. She was about to ask him what he was thinking when she caught an unmistakable smell. “I think somebody could use a change.” Richard jumped. He had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he had almost forgotten she was there. Once he processed what she had said, he blushed again. “Yeah, sorry.” “What did I just tell you about apologizing for what you can’t control? As far as I know, that is a body’s natural reaction to extreme fear. You haven’t been here long enough or been regressed to the point where you’re incontinent. Either way, it was completely out of your control and there’s no need to apologize for it. You got me, mister?” When he nodded, she went on. “Good. Now, unfortunately, you’ll have to wait a little bit for that change. We need to get everything inside. Can you handle waiting for a little while?” After another nod from Richard, she continued. “Excellent. Then let’s go on in. If you find yourself thinking too much about how high you are, either focus on me or something far away.” Darryl took a shaky breath. “I’ll follow you in just a minute. I want to make sure the car is locked.” He was shaken and confused. He was used to making split second life or death decisions in his job. He had faced down the worst society could throw at him and always knew just what needed to be done. So why had he completely frozen when that whole situation with Richard had played out? He had seen Richard panicking, and had no clue how to help him. His mind had gone completely blank. He wasn’t sure how he would do it, but he was going to make sure that never happened again. Double checking all the doors, he followed them into the store. ------------------- Checking the overhead signs, Susan made a beeline for the Little’s section. The first thing she needed to do was get the supplies needed to get Richard out of that messy diaper. She quickly found the wipes, baby oil and powder, before going to the diaper aisle. “See anything you like?” Richard was stunned at the sheer quantity of diapers in the aisle. The whole aisle on both sides was filled with all kinds and colors of diapers. He sat there, mouth agape, with no idea how he could possibly choose from so many. Susan smiled at the shocked expression on his face. Then she remembered what she had seen while they were at the hospital. Richard had a couple of tattoos, and one of them was something she had seen before. A quick look down the aisle and she found what she had in mind. She grabbed a package and held them up for Richard to see. “Dragons?! How’d you...?” “I saw your tattoo at the hospital. I figure they must be something pretty special to you for you to go through the pain of getting a tattoo.” For the first time since getting to this dimension Richard smiled. “I do love dragons, remind me to tell you the story of that tattoo sometime.” “You can tell me while we get you changed.” Putting everything in the cart, she started pushing it towards the back of the store. When they got to the family restroom, she stopped and checked the door. Finding it unlocked and the room empty, she opened the package of diapers. Taking one out, she grabbed the wipes, oil and powder. Stacking them together, she put them next to Richard. “Remember how I said that sometimes you will have to just trust us?” She asked. Richard nodded. “This is one of those times. Go ahead and grab that stuff.” When he did, she slowly picked him up, keeping the stack of supplies wedged between them. Keeping one hand on his back, she slid the other under his butt to support him. When she reached the door, she whispered in his ear. “Now, grab onto my shirt and hold on tight.” When she felt he was ready, she took her hand off of his back and opened the door. As soon as it was wide enough, she slipped in, returning her hand to his back after locking the door. Once she had him over the changing table, she gave him a little tap. “You can let go now.” “You sure?” “Absolutely. Go ahead and let go.” Once he did, she sat him on the table. “See? Nothing to it. Now, keep your eyes on me. Ok?” moving the supplies to the side, she gently slid Richard further onto the table. “Now I need you to lie back for me sweetie. That’s it. Would you like me to put the safety strap on?” When he nodded, she locked the strap snugly around his chest. “There you go. Safe and sound. Now, why don’t you tell me that story about your tattoo?” He proceeded to tell her how he had originally planned to get a necklace made of the design. But when he got to where it could be made for him, he found out it was more than he expected. Telling them he would think about it, he wandered around the market. Turning a corner, he saw a tattoo artist. Figuring what the heck, he went in and asked how much it would cost to get a tattoo of the design. When he found out it was a lot cheaper than the necklace, he decided to go ahead and get the tattoo. He had them put it high up on his arm so it could be easily hidden. Since, although tattoos were getting more popular, they were still frowned upon in most work environments. By the time he was finished with his tale, she was taping the new diaper in place. Although he had felt every part of the change, since he had been focused on his tale, he hadn’t really thought about what she was doing. He smiled and chuckled. “You sly dog, you got me monologuing.” Susan finished putting Richard’s pants back on. “Is that a quote from something?” Unbuckling the strap, Susan had Richard sit up. “Yeah. A movie I liked from my dimension. It’s from when the hero gets the villain to talk all about their plans in order to distract them.” “We’ll have to see if we can find it. And you have to admit, it did distract you.” She smiled. “Now, you ready to go do some shopping?” repeating their balancing act, they left the restroom and returned to the cart. When Richard was again secured in the seat, they went back to the Littles department. There they found Darryl. He had acquired another cart and filled it with furniture. Richard saw boxes for a crib, a changing table, baby gates, a diaper pail, and another couple boxes Richard couldn’t see well enough to read. Richard began to get distressed. He couldn’t stand to be a burden on anyone, and here they were buying all this stuff because of him. How could he ever repay them for it? Once again, he felt like he was taking advantage of the generosity of others. This time it was Darryl who saw the brooding look building on Richard’s face. Moving closer, he got his attention. “Hey bud. What’s going on in that noggin of yours?” Richard didn’t know how to answer. He had been taught it wasn’t polite to ask anyone about their finances. He started to get angry at himself again. He couldn’t do anything right. He couldn’t even answer a straightforward question. “Let me see if I can guess. OK? You tell me if I'm right.” Seeing that he had Richard’s attention, he continued. “I’m going to guess that you’re worried about how much all of this is going to cost.” “How did you know?” “It isn’t hard when you’ve been in Law Enforcement as long as I have. You learn to read people and see what they don’t want you to see. You started to get upset when you saw the everything in the cart. Since you used to take care of yourself, you probably have a decent grasp of about how much stuff can cost. Put those two together, and you really only have one possibility. Make sense?” “I guess so.” “Now, to address that concern of yours. As your foster parents, we get fully reimbursed for any and all expenses relating to your care. So, you don’t have to feel like a burden on us.” He paused. “That last part is how I would feel if I were in your place. Trust me, I do understand.” Sensing he was done, Susan chimed in. “So, shall we continue our little shopping spree? "Grabbing the cart, she jauntily headed back to the diaper aisle. After picking up two more packages of the dragon patterned diapers, she turned to Richard. “Ok. What else do you like besides dragons? And no dodging by saying there isn’t anything else. If you don’t give me some ideas, I’m going to pick stuff at random and you never know what you might be wearing.” She picked up a package of the brightest pink, frilliest princess diapers. “So, what’s it going to be? A whole bunch of things you like, or a whole bunch of things you may or may not like? Either way we need to stock up, and you’re getting a whole bunch of something.” She waved the princess diapers in the air, raising her eyebrows playfully. Richard sighed. Apparently, they were determined to go all out. “I like cars, music, books, knives and swords, movies...” He trailed off, seeing a surprised look on her face. “Did I do something wrong?” “Oh, no sweetie. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Putting the package back on the shelf, she gave Richard a hug. “You have no idea how lucky you were to end up here.” She laughed at his confused look. “I’m a librarian. But we can talk more about that later. Back to business. I don’t think we’ll find anything with knives and swords, but I think there’s enough to work with in the rest of your list.” Going up and down the aisle, she scooped up multiple packages of several kinds of diapers. Some had with cars on them, some had different musical instruments with music notes around them, and one with all kinds of baby animals on them. She held up the last kind before putting them in the cart. “Do you mind? I know you didn’t mention this, but they are just too cute." When he nodded his consent, she put them in. Then she selected several packages that were various solid colors. Going to the next aisle, she proceeded to toss in bottles of soap, shampoo, bubble bath, and something Richard was unable to make out. Followed quickly by what could only be a diaper bag, several baby bottles, sippy cups, and pacifiers. Then more wipes, powder, and baby oil. “Perfect. Now some clothes.” That was when Darryl realized that they would never be able to fit everything in Susan’s car. Calling his office, he arranged to have someone bring his SUV over. That taken care of, he went up front to have them hold the cart of furniture and grab another. If he knew Susan, and he did, they were going to need it. By the time he rejoined them in the clothing section, she had already selected half a dozen onesies, a couple of footed sleepers, several pairs of pants, two packages of socks, and was currently going through the t-shirts. He pulled next to the cart where Richard had a look of pure bewilderment. Nudging him, Darryl chuckled. “I gather you’ve never gone ‘shopping’ before. Believe me, this made her day. She loves this kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a smart shopper. She’s amazing at stretching a budget. But, since she has free reign right now, she’s going to enjoy every minute of it.” Coming back with her arms full of t-shirts, she noticed the new cart. Dumping the shirts in it, she turned to Darryl. “Thank you Honey. You always seem to know what I need, when I need it. Would you mind pushing this one while I push the one with Richard? We just need to get some food, and a surprise” Here, she took her time. Reading every package carefully. She grabbed some formula, some kind of fruit juice, and a variety of something called ‘Little Meals’. When they got to the snack section, she stopped. “Can you handle cookies or crackers?” “As long as they are soft or crumble easily.” Grabbing a couple kinds of each, she put them in the cart. They had just started going towards the back of the store, when Susan saw Abby in the frozen food aisle. She called out to her. “Abby!” Turning and seeing Susan, she headed over. When she saw Richard, she practically squealed. “Oh my god! Sue! Is this the ‘something’ that came up? He’s adorable!” By this time, Richard had been trying to figure out how to get his hands on the cookies. Having only had the one cookie today, he was still very hungry. Only the safety strap stopped him from flying out of the cart when he whipped his head back up at the shout. He started shaking. Feeling the cart rock, Susan quickly reached for Richard. Seeing a wild look in his eyes that she didn’t like, she started to comfort him. “It’s ok Sweetie. I got you. Don’t worry about Abby, she’s harmless.” “W-What did she just call you?” Confused, she paused. “Sue. Oh my! That’s right! We never told you what my name is did we? I’m so sorry. My name is Susan. My close friends call me Sue.” Richard began shaking his head. “It can’t be.” He said to himself. “Too many coincidences. It’s too perfect. I must be dead after all.” His thoughts became a jumble, once again spiraling into the darkness. Susan didn’t catch all of what he said, but she did catch that last sentence. She had no idea why her name should cause this kind of reaction, but she knew she had to stop this fast. Grabbing his head, she got right in his face. “Richard! Richard! Look at me!” When he met her eyes, she continued. “You are not dead! Remember? You are just in another dimension! Remember? Look at me! Remember?” Two things penetrated the darkness surrounding him. The feel of her hands on his face, and the sound of her voice. Gradually, they brought him back to reality. He knew he could trust her. Her and Darryl. He thought about her smile. How it lit up her whole face. Especially when she smiled at him. He thought about how Darryl had tried to protect him from the start. Made sure he was taken care of. Once the darkness had receded, he looked at Susan with tears in his eyes. He couldn’t mistake the fear and concern on her face. “I'm so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you worry! I’m just so... stupid... Stupid... Stupid!” He punctuated each ‘stupid’ with blows to his head with both hands. “Hey!” She shouted, grabbing his hands. “Stop That! You are not stupid!” Lowering his hands to his lap, she continued in a quieter but still stern voice. “I don’t ever want to see you hit yourself like that again. You are not stupid. You are a very intelligent man stuck in a very unusual and confusing situation.” She brushed his cheek. “That’s what Darryl and I are here for. To help you through an often-difficult transition to a new life.” “Really?” “Yes. Really. Now, do you think you can tell me why my name affected you like that?” “My mother’s name was Sue. It was short for Suzanne. She was the one who got me into reading.” Susan and Darryl glanced at each other. “Richard, do you believe in Fate? Can you accept that sometimes things happen for a reason?” “Maybe.” “I believe it. From the first moment I saw you, I knew we were meant to be together.” Grabbing a tissue from her purse, she wiped his eyes and nose. “Can you do me a favor from now on? Whenever you see something that looks like a huge coincidence, will you tell me about it? Now, let’s say hi to Abby. She’s freaking out over there.” “OK.” Together they turned to Abby, who immediately began to apologize. “I am so, so sorry. I don’t know what I did to set him off like that...” “Abby, relax. It’s nothing you did.” Susan interrupted. “This poor guy has had a rough couple of days and it’s starting to catch up with him. Richard, this is Abby. She and I work together sometimes. Abby, this is Richard.” Richard held out his hand. “Hello Abby. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry I made you worried.” “My, how polite.” She took his hand and gently shook it. “Hello Richard. It’s alright. I understand. Can we still be friends?” “I don’t see any reason why not.” She smiled. “You really are adorable. Thank you, I can’t wait to get together again.” She turned to Susan. “Don't worry about calling, you have enough on your plate.” She gave Susan a hug, whispering in her ear. “We definitely need to talk. I have got to hear his story.” Letting Susan go, she waved to Darryl. “Hi Darryl, good to see you.” She took a step back. “Well, I should get going.” She waved to Richard. “See you later, ok?” Richard waved back. “Ok.” When she turned and headed back down the aisle, Susan and Darryl again started toward the back of the store. Richard just stared into space. An idea had begun forming in his mind, but he was afraid to acknowledge it. Every other time he had tried to figure out why this was happening to him, he had been wrong. He didn’t want to be wrong this time. This idea actually gave him some hope. When the cart stopped, he looked up. Susan was looking at him. Unsure what was expected, he looked around. They were in an aisle filled with stuffed animals of all kinds. His eyes misted. He wouldn’t have admitted it to most people back home, but he had missed the stuffed bear he was used to sleeping with. Looking over the various animals, he caught sight of something about half way down the aisle. His jaw dropped. Remembering his promise, he turned back to Susan. “Susan, I just saw another coincidence.” “Really? Where?” “About half way down the aisle. There’s a gold dragon that looks like it’s got it’s wing around a white bear.” Moving the cart closer, she asked, “What makes this a coincidence?” “Two reasons. First, do you know what a spirit guide is?” When she nodded, he continued. “I’ve been following a spiritual path that in my world is called Wicca. When I first started, I believed I had a spiritual guide named Twilith Ardea. She was a gold dragon. Second, for many years, I’ve had a white teddy bear that I slept with every night. He looked a lot like that one.” “What was his name?” “Polonius.” “Well, I guess that means we need to take both of them with us.” Grabbing the two plushies, she put them on either side of Richard. “Shall we go check out?” Richard looked around. “Darryl already headed up.” On the way to the registers, Richard had his arms around the two plushies, and a small smile on his face. Maybe, just maybe, that new idea was right. Maybe he could have some hope after all.

Hey everybody! First time poster, longggggg time lurker (and I DO mean LONG. Like, 15+ years at least). Here is a little story I have been cooking up. It’s your standard fare “be careful what you wish for story”. Not meant to revolutionize the ABDL fiction game or anything, but just some nice, hot material for those who want it. It started out as prompts for captions I was planning to make, but ended up 6,000+ words, soooo...oops! Anyways, enjoy! Feedback/encouragement is always appreciated. Love our community- love you all! Stephanie’s Descent Stephanie was a beautiful, petite young lady of 26 who seemed to be grabbing the world by the horns. She had a job in an office doing clerical work while she was in school to become a lawyer, and had a sexy boyfriend named Mark. Sure, she felt insecure in her mature office suits, looking up at one well-dressed man or woman after another from her small stature with her girlishly cute looks. And sure, she had her suspicions that Mark was being unfaithful to her with another friend of hers. Yes, the schoolwork was intense and difficult, and despite her being so charming, this caused her on more than one occasion to be snippy or bratty to her other classmates. But Stephanie did not worry about this. Things would work themselves out. They always seemed to for girls who had it all, like her... One rocky living situation after another led her to have ask her mother if she could return home while she continued to work and study hard. It was a blow to Stephanie’s ego, but her mother Karen was secretly ecstatic. Karen supposed she should be happy for the strides in adulthood that Stephanie was making, but at times she would be so mad about the passage of time that she would do anything to get her little girl back. She would shake these thoughts from her head, as she already had an 18-month-old chubby baby girl to contend with named Lily. Lily’s father quickly left after Karen gave birth, making Karen all the more protective of her girls. She would use this time to impose motherly control and rules on Stephanie, whether she liked it or not. Plus, she could use a helper with Lily, so Stephanie added “caregiver” to her growing list of responsibilities... Stephanie stared down at Lily sleeping in her crib. She smiled and took a deep whiff of the smells of her baby sister’s nursery. Baby powder, baby wipes and the distinct smell of Pampers danced around her nostrils as she sighed, looking around the pink nursery adorned with infantile motifs of baby Disney characters and Winnie the Pooh. “I wonder what it would be like to be a baby again.” Stephanie wondered out loud as she headed over to the changing table. “No adult responsibilities- just toys, and baby shows and....diapers.” She felt a tingle shoot through her as she caressed the crinkly padding piled high under the changing table, imaging herself wearing it. “Oh sure, it would be SO embarrassing, but it might be kinda fun.” Stephanie bit her finger and looked around nervously. Her little shaved pussy throbbing and juices dripping into her panties, she took a breath and yanked her pants down. Then came her now soaked underwear. And now she stood in her baby sister’s nursery, naked from her bellybutton down, except for a cute pair of socks, ready to do something girls her age should not even be considering... Stephanie grabbed one of Lily’s diapers and a bottle of baby powder and placed it deliberately on top of the changing table. She took a big breath, unable to believe she was about to do what she planned to do and hoisted herself up onto the white padded surface. The cool, slick plastic of the changing surface caressing her bare bottom and privates sent another jolt of tingles through her body. Lying on her back she opened the thick diaper and gently fluffed it out to ready it to wear. Just like she did for her baby sister countless times. “If everybody could see me now! I wonder what they would say.” Stephanie again wondered aloud, this time with a chuckle. She bit her lip, lifted her small, perfectly smooth butt and slid the Pampers underneath her. She plopped her tushy down on the waiting, thirsty padding and shuddered as she began to feel more and more like a baby every second. She shook out a liberal amount of sweet-smelling baby powder over her already somewhat infantile looking, perfectly shaved crotch. Her heart was pounding as the mix of nursery aromas and baby sensations brought back feelings of helplessness and memories of daycare. She pulled the diaper up snugly in between her legs and taped it shut tightly against her. She knew from countless shopping trips previously that baby Lily wore the biggest size Pampers available on the market, being a chubby baby and all. The baby diaper fit Stephanie’s slender frame like a glove. She nearly spasmed as she looked down to see Sesame Street characters smiling up and waving at her from the top of the diaper. No, it was HER diaper now. The padding was thick, and almost oppressive, as it pressed securely into her most sensitive areas. The sensation was undeniably babyish. Even slight movements of her butt or legs caused a tell-tale crinkle to emit from her new infant underwear. Her powered pussy encased in her Pampers was dripping with a level of excitement she had never felt before. She was in pure baby bliss. She hopped off the changing table and waddled up to the full-length mirror near Lily’s crib. She was unable to stop herself from toddling, the thick diapers forcing her legs apart and causing an embarrassingly cute cascade of crinkles to follow her as she moved. She looked at herself in the mirror, her large puppy eyes and small figure complimenting her new choice of babyish undergarments. She giggled innocently and smiled as she examined her diapers from all sides. Caressing the outer padding and pulling them up tighter between her legs, she checked out her butt while moaning. Every touch and every movement cause the soft insides of her Pampers to further stroke and rub against her now incredibly sensitive clit, making her purr with pleasure. She looked to her right and glanced down at her still sleeping baby sister. Her gaze shot back to her reflection in the mirror, she popped her thumb in her mouth and in the most babyish voice she could muster exclaimed “More!” She giggled, twirled her hair and began bouncing in place. “More! More! More!” She chirped as she set about the nursery to further enhance her naughty, but incredibly pleasurable experience. Stephanie practically skipped over to Lily’s Winnie the Pooh dresser and threw open the drawers to rummage for more goodies to complete her immersion into babyhood. She practically ripper her halter-top off and unhooked her bra in an instant, letting her pert little breasts bounce free as she did so. She pulled from the dresser the biggest shirt she could find- a nursery yellow My Little Pony shirt featuring cartoon ponies hugging each other on the front. The immature shirt clung to her tightly, barely stretching down to her navel, and holding her small tits close to her chest, making her look flatter than ever. From the top drawer she pulled a small hairbrush and two hair ties with two bright pink plastic balls attached to them. With a sense of urgency, she deftly secured her brown hair into two high pigtails on top of her head. She fished around in the top drawer for a little while longer until she found what she sought, an all-white pacifier with a pink ring on the front of it. She popped in her mouth and almost bit down on the nipple with the surge of pleasure she felt from debasing herself even further from her adult self. She crinkled back up to the full-length mirror with a waddle and gasped at the reflection greeting her. From head to toe she looked every bit a baby- not a day older than her sister Lily. Gone were the fancy suits she wore in the office. Gone were the trendy clothes she wore to stay noticed in college. Gone were the date night dresses she donned to look sexy for her boyfriend Mark. Here she stood completely raw and infantilized for the world. She looked so cute and babyish it was humiliating. She blushed at her appearance and her rosy cheeks only served to make her look MORE like an infant. She looked down and felt her body to make sure it was really her she was looking at in the mirror. She had never felt more infantile or embarrassed. The butterflies in her tummy and the warmth wetness she felt in her private parts signaled to her only one thing...she loved this. End of part 1. I will most definitely be posting more!

Yup, diapers are expensive, which is why I also wear cloth. Cotton prefolds and plastic pants are washable and reuseable, which disposables aren't. Yeah, I spend buckets on disposbles also, but things last longer using cloth inbetween....I think I found a good deal on Seni diapers, have to go back and check...but yeah....disposables =$$$$. Suchas it is.

This is my first ever time writing a Story. I have had this idea in my mind for a very long time. I do welcome feedback but please be nice.. The Girls Holiday (Part 25) As we were going deeper into the water I was being supported on Emily’s hip. I felt poo drop out into the awaiting nappy, it made it squishier as it absorbed the water from the pool and I looked around hoping that it was not leaking and I was surprised to see that the nappy was holding my poo even though it was letting water pass through. Jessica, Charlotte and Louise joined us just as I finished pushing the last little bit out as I let out a little smile from the relief that it has just caused me. I was surprised as Jessica pushed a dummy into my mouth, I wasn’t expecting it and I nearly pushed it back out not expecting what just happened “leave that in” she said to me with a angry look on her face. Jessica was still angry about what had happened earlier and still was out to get me. This is the first time really, I had a dummy in my mouth in public and I was already self-conscious as It was with a big load in my nappy being pressed by the tight swimsuit that I was wearing and now with a dummy in my mouth with a word of warning not to remove it, I knew I had no choice but to suck. It bought me comfort and I was growing a strong desire to now want a dummy when something is making me feel unsteady or being upset, I am not sure even to admit that to the girls but they seemed to know when I needed it as they shoved it into my mouth without me even asking. I looked round and no-one was really looking at us, they were all getting on with playing in the pool and the slides on the side. I was soon snapped out of my day dream again as Charlotte started pulling onto my arms 2 Pink arm bands already blown up. I was then let go into the water as I floated on the spot with my toes just about reaching the ground and my arm bands supporting me, I was surprised on how well they were holding me up as the girls started talking leaving me floating by them “so have you told him that you have broke up with him” asked Jessica looking at Emily. “Yes, this girl here is now single and Jake has agreed to stay living with me as my baby” she announced to the group. “what a looser, if that was me, I would be straight out the door. Oh, wait it would never happen to me as I keep my panties dry” exclaimed Charlotte with a laughing mocking tone. Louise came over to me and grabbed me by 2 hands pulling me deeper into the water “is the wittle baby having fun” she said as she rested onto one of the edges with me In front of her. “aww, no smile for aunty Louise” she said reaching under the water and tickling my thighs. I kicked out in laughter and because I moved back, she grabbed my hands and pulled me back closer to her. I tried to reach for the ground but I was left dangling there in deep water and that’s when I knew I had to rely on her to keep me safe and secure. As I did, she pulled me closer to her body and because she was standing my eyes was focused at eye level straight onto her breasts. I watched how they stayed in the swimwear she was wearing and imagined them popping out or even touching them in person, but I was snapped once again out of my day dream by a sudden bang of lightning over the announcement system “the storm is coming” she said pulling me along with her towards the beach area again. From the ceiling rain started to pour out of sprinklers and the announcement system started playing music and lighting sounds I watched back at all the action as the kids rushed towards the deep end were the wave machine had started producing some big ones. I was pulled back by surprised onto Louise legs; she had sat down on the beach area without me noticing. I landed and sat on her legs that she had put out and she pulled me more up so she was hugging me. I felt the soft mush of the poo mush into my skin and spread out into all corners of the swim nappy and up the crotch area, I reached down at the sensation and my hand was smacked away “ah ah babies must not touch down there if you need the toilet then just go” Louise said from behind me. I watched as the waves had now started reaching the beach area and coming up to reach just about her knees. As I looked down at the waves, I couldn’t help notice her toenails that she had painted Red. “Is baby checking out aunty Louise toenails” said Charlotte approaching us. “maybe we can paint yours if you are a good baby” mocked Louise wriggling her toes. I had to endure sitting there watching the storm and waves in front of us and all the kids running past playing for another 10 minutes till it slowly came to an end. Jessica came over to us and picked me up placing me on her hip and started carrying me towards an area I had not seen before. As we turned the corner and went through some straw dangly things my eyes widened at what was in front of me…

Only 1 chapter left of the story! ❤️ If you wish to read it now, you can read it on my Patreon page! Starting December 14th I'll be posting my newest story early on there! You can find it on Daily Diapers on the 21st! https://www.patreon.com/mamabug Chapter Nine She was there sitting on the couch; her face was puffy and red from all the crying she had done. His heart broke when he saw her. He wanted to lay down at her feet and beg her for her forgiveness for how he had been treating her. He was only thinking about himself. He felt like he did worst than if he went out and cheated on her. He neglected her and their son. He wasn't sure how she could ever forgive him. He shut the door behind him and walked over to her. She didn't say anything when he came back into the room. She watched him for a moment before turning her head away. He knelt beside her, holding out his hand for her, but she wouldn't give it to him. "It's true, isn't it?" She whispered, her voice breaking up, "you're leaving me for someone else." "No," he said as urgently as he could, "not at all. That's not it, I promise." "Then what is it, Jon?" She asked, looking at him straight in the eyes, "I've tried to get through to you, but you keep pushing me away. It's like you don't even care anymore." "I do care!" He said a bit louder than he intended, "I do care. I care so much. I love you and our son more than anything." "Then I don't understand why you're acting like this," she said, "you don't make any sense." He just stared and looked at her. He wished he knew the right words to say. He opened his mouth, but he closed it again. He wanted to be honest with her; he wanted to open up to her. "You can't even tell me," she said, "after everything we've been through. I thought we would always be able, to be honest with each other. If we don't have that…then do we have anything?" "I'm trying," he told her, "it's just difficult." "Why?" "Because I'm scared." He yelled out. She stared at him for along time. "Scared of what?" "Of losing everything." "We're already on the brink of losing everything." She told him. "I can hardly look at you anymore." That broke him. "I'm so sorry." "Don't be sorry," she told him, "just be honest." "Everything is changing; it is just scary." "You don't think I'm scared?" Samantha asked. "You don't think that I was worried about everything changing?" "But, you're a natural at it." "That doesn't mean I'm not scared. That doesn't mean I don't stay up at night thinking I'm doing something wrong. Or when Nathanial is screaming for hours, and I don't know what to do with him - I feel like a failure." Jonathan wasn't sure what to say to that. He always thought that she knew exactly what she was doing this entire time, but she was just as lost as he was. He wanted to go to her, tried to comfort her, but he wasn't sure how, and honestly, at this point, he doubted that she wanted that from him. "I'm sorry," it was the only thing that he could muster to say. But, that appeared to be the wrong thing. "Sorry isn't going to cut it," she told him, "I need more than that. I need you to be HERE with me!" "I am here." "You know what I mean," she told him, "look me in the eyes and tell me." "I thought I was losing us!" He said. "You are losing us," she retorted back, suddenly angry, "you're losing us by not being honest with yourself or me about how your feeling. DO you really think that keeping it is in is better than telling me what is going on?" "No," he told her, I don't think that at all. I wanted to tell you that I wanted to be honest, but I could not find the words. I could pretend that I was okay, that I could forget that part of me that I could go on living this new life." "New life?" She gave him a questioning look. "What do you mean by that? What new life. This is the same life! Sure, it's a bit different now that we have a kid, but you and are still the same." "No, it's completely different, and that has been a hard thing for me to accept." He told her. "I feel like a total failure as a father and as a husband. It hurts me that I'm so jealous of how you treat our son. That you're so caring for him, that you baby talk him, the way you care for his every need – it makes me so jealous because that used to be me! BUT, how could I possibly be jealous of a baby? Who NEEDS us? How could I be so sick and twisted to want to take that away from our son?! I'm just a freak of nature who can't seem to understand that I'm an adult and I'm not going always to be able to do the stuff we used to. That lifestyle is in the past, and it hurts, and I'm angry and sad, and I feel lonely." He started strong, yelling his words, but then as time went on and he kept speaking everything in his heart, he felt a weight off his chest, and his voice lowered, tears rolled down his cheeks until his last sentence was barely a whisper. She didn't say anything. Her expression changed several times while he spoke, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was she was thinking. She then walked over to him; she placed her hands upon his cheeks, reached up, and kissed him. He pushed her away. "How can you kiss me when I hold these horrible thoughts?" "They're not horrible," she told him, "and everything you just said – is completely wrong. I don't feel that way at all." "I don't know what you mean." He told her. "I never once thought that part of us was over," she said. "But… .it's been soo…long." "I was tired," she said with a sad face, "I had a real baby to take care of, and you were so distant – you didn't tell me how you were feeling. This entire time I thought perhaps you regretted being a father, being with me, perhaps even cheating on me. I never once thought it was because you were worried about THIS. After all, this is who we are. That's not something we can change." "So you don't think I'm a freak." She laughed at those words. "Why would I think you were a freak? If you're a freak for liking all that stuff, then so am I since I enjoy it as well." Her face fell as she looked at him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry that as both your wife and your mommy, that I neglected you. I should have known that you needed attention, that you, regardless of our children, will always be important to me. That I will always think you're sexy and adorable in a diaper and that I will always want to care for you." "I'm sorry," he said, "I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry." He kept repeating those words, to the point where they were both crying in each other's arms to the point where they had no tears left. "I love you so much," he told her, "I truly do." "I love you too," she said, "and I always will." She then grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into the bedroom; not another word was spoken between them – for words were not needed at that moment.

Chapter 13: Another After School Special I read from the barely legible handwriting in front of me: “I like to eat chicken and ham chicken and ham is good to eat I like to eat chicken and ham and ham and chicken and chicken and chicken and ham I like to eat chicken and ham….” I looked up from the paper. “And it just goes on and on. Janet,” I said, “is there an Eldritch code in this somewhere or did this child get kicked in the head before writing?” Tracy and Beouf cackled in their chairs. “Do these children not know what a period is?” More laughter. Janet reached across the cluster of desks. “Let me see.” She squinted at the paper, analyzing the handwriting. “This is Ethan.” She said. “Yeeeah, Ethan has a learning disability. Great at talking, bad at getting his words on paper. He just starts to go on a loop and can’t stop. This is still a big improvement from the beginning of the year.” Tracy, Beouf, and I stopped giggling. Great. Now I felt guilty. “Unfortunately he gets no credit for this,” Janet sighed and made a ‘0’ with her big red pen. “Didn’t even write to the prompt.” “What was the prompt, again?” Tracy asked. “They were supposed to write about who their role models were,” Beouf said. Silence. “Chicken and ham.” A whisper by me. “Ham and chicken.” A little louder from Tracy. “Chicken and ham and ham and chicken.” Beouf. Even louder. “Ham and chicken and chicken and ham!” Janet shouting! We all burst out laughing. All of us. Even Janet. Sometimes you just had to laugh at this stuff. It was better than crying, anyhow. Janet flopped her head down on the desk. “Kill me. Just kill me. Dead please. Thank you.” More laughter. We were all gathered in Janet’s room. A few days ago, her students had had to participate in a school wide writing exercise in which every third through fifth grader had to write to a prompt for close to an hour straight. Sit still. No talking. Eyes on paper. Just write. Not what you want to write. Write about the most generic thing possible: Shit like ‘Favorite season’, or ‘Favorite food’ or ‘Role models’. It was bad for the kids and worse for the adults who had to enforce it. Keep an atmospher of perfect quiet and focus with a bunch of eight and nine year olds? Might as well have asked them to find the Lost City of Ohiyo while they were at it. Also, it goes without saying, but written essays had to be graded eventually. That’s where we came in. Janet had asked Beouf and I to help her grade the work, and naturally (having nothing better to do) we obliged. Tracy was technically off the clock, but elected to stick around and help. We pushed some student desks together, (I was left to supervise of course) divied up the stack, broke out some pens, and indulged in the ages old habit- that tradition passed down from teacher generation to teacher generation: Grading papers, talking trash, making jokes, and quietly worrying about how good we really were at our jobs. “At least his spelling was fine,” Beouf said, “Do you want us to count spelling?” Not breaking her gaze from her own pile, Janet tapped a printout she’d placed in the middle of the cluster. “It’s on a rubric. If the spelling doesn’t really stop you from understanding what they’re trying to say, let it pass once or twice. But if it’s starting to interfere with comprehension or happening a lot, start marking off for it.” “Got it.” A quick glance let me see red ink go flying across Beouf’s selected page. “Geesh, my babies can spell better than this.“ No joke… I swallowed my pride and kept marking at my papers. To prevent bias, all student names were covered up with tape, but I was secretly hoping that the ones who were doing particularly well were some of my former students. Tracy and I must have been on the same wavelength that afternoon. “I think I got Mason’s,” she said to me. Sitting at the Amazon student’s desk, Tracy might have been mistaken for a student instead of staff; it fit her perfectly. “Remember how he used to write his lowercase a’s?” I leaned over, having to stand on the gigantic chair to be able to write on the desk. “Oh yeah. That’s Mason, alright.” “Let me guess,” Janet said, “the little flourish he does after the tail?” Tracy and I nodded and laughed. “Sounds like Mason Hargrove to me.” She looked up. “Do I have you two to thank for that?” “I guess...” I chuckled. “It’s kind of something he’s always done.” “I’m kinda glad he kept it,” Tracy said. “It’s a part of him.” I bit of nostalgia came over me. “Seeing how they grow from year to year is one of the neat things about this job.” “Yeah…” Beouf said, moving onto her next essay to grade. Tracy and I shot each other a look. Beouf was probably just agreeing for the sake of agreement. Most of her students stayed in her room for years at a time or their Amazons withdrew them to a private daycare. Beouf’s kids never grew up. They’d all already done that by the time they got to her. Life isn’t fair. It’s complicated. We got back to grading. The laughter could only last so long before drudgery kicked in. A few more minutes of reading this third grader’s account of them looking up to their softball coach or that third grader’s rambling about the latest pop star, and Tracy broke the silence. “Oh, how about that joke, Mrs. Grange?” Janet looked up from her stack of essays. “What joke?” “The joke about your husband!” Tracy said. “The one you told me when we first started talking! I”ve been trying to tell Clark, but I just can’t quite get the details right.” Is that what Tracy had been doing the last couple of weeks? Something about somebody painting a house, and a cat, and gasoline...I’m still not sure, even as I write about this. Janet looked like she’d just tasted sour milk, or like she was constipated. So that’s what that looked like from the outside. “I’d rather not.” Sore subject, apparently. “Oh come on!” Tracy was already starting to laugh. “It was a really good joke.” I looked towards our newest friend. Unlike Tracy, I could read a room. “It’s cool,” I said. “Don’t worry about it. Had to be there, right? Janet chewed on her lip. “Right.” Beouf put down her pen. “Something wrong, hon?” The young Amazon looked weary, and not just teacher weary. A cup of coffee might not help this. “Things aren’t going so hot right now,” she said. “We’re trying for a baby.” Neither of my coworkers cooed or smiled or awed at that. “It’s not going so well...” She looked at the floor and let the comment hang. “You could always try adoption,” Beouf offered. Tracy and I shared another look. This time it wasn’t wistfully knowing or nostalgic or anything resembling happy. When Amazons talked about adoption, real babies- much less Amazon ones- didn’t often figure into it. As the two shortest people in the room, we were both suddenly very uncomfortable. Yes, even though it was just Beouf. Yes, even though Janet had proved to be fairly sane for an Amazon. Janet smiled politely with her mouth, but frowned with her eyes. “Maaaaaaaaybe…” she said. “I hadn’t thought about that.” Based on her tone and her careful hemming and hawing, Janet was being polite. It was the type of reply that people gave when they wanted to say no, but didn’t want to offend. Beouf’s entire career hinged around Little adoption. Janet was being polite. To her credit, Beouf dropped the matter with a shrug. “It’s not for everybody.“ Darn right it wasn’t. Janet tried to lighten the mood. “I probably wouldn’t tell it right, anyways. You really had to be there.” She half heartedly did jazz fingers. “Cat walks under a ladder. It ran out of gas. Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk!” My ears wiggled. “Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk?” I said. I almost got whiplash from how quickly I snapped my head up. “Fuzzy? Fuzzy Bird? Did you just quote Fuzzy Bird? Muffets?!” A more genuine smile, and a glint of mischief from Janet. “I did!” “You like the Muffets?!” I lost a bit of composure. I’d grown up watching reruns of the show and the various movies. It wasn’t a cartoon so it was deemed safe to watch. Janet’s face opened up even more. She was becoming all eyes and teeth. “Uhhh, YEAH! Who doesn’t?” Now it was Tracy and Beouf’s turn to exchange looks, theirs a bit confused. “I have a couple of Muffet stuffies in my classroom for the kids to play with during free time!” “Stuffets! I know! I saw them the first time I walked in!” Janet was bouncing in her seat. “I’ve got some, too!” “You do?” I felt myself shaking with something other than rage. “Where?” Janet looked shocked. Insulted in the way only a true geek can be insulted. I’d just challenged her credentials. “Uh...there!” She motioned to the wall directly behind her; just to the right of the board. There, sitting on a shelf that was bolted to the wall, were Muffets. Kremit the Turtle, Miss Puggy, Fuzzy Bird. Ralph the Piano Playing Rat. Gongzo the Strange! She even had the mad scientist and his assistant; Nutz and Bolt. Muffets. So many Muffets. “How did I not notice these before?” “Because you were so busy looking at the clock,” she teased. “Did I tell you guys how nervous he was?” “Oooooh no! Do not change the subject!” I said. “We’re talking about Muffets! Muffets. Now.” Cassie hated the Muffets. It wasn’t a deal breaker in our relationship, obviously, but I just got razzed everytime I brought it up. I hadn’t had anyone to talk about this show with in years. “My son used to watch the Muffets all the time when he was growing up,” Beouf said. Tracy agreed. “Yeah. It’s a pretty funny kids’ show.” Like a T.V. lawyer, Janet was standing up to her full height. “It is NOT a kids’ show!” she declared. “It’s a classic international intellectual property that is family friendly and written for all ages. ALL! AGES!” She was going way over the top and overly theatrical. It gave the mini-rant an air of light heartedness. And yet...I would not want to have contradicted Janet Grange in that moment. Her passion was a joke until it wasn’t. Rather like the Muffets themselves, come to think of it. “It’s seen a surge in sales over the last few decades since home media’s become more readily available,” I said. I was trying to hide my own giddiness while showing off my fan credentials. “But during its initial six season run, The Muffet Show was on primetime television, well past children’s bedtimes.” “What Gibson said! All ages.” She reached out for a high-five. “Up top, Clark!” I slapped her palm. I couldn’t help it; I was excited. So sue me. Janet and I then proceeded to embarrass ourselves for the next short eternity with conversation bits that went a little like: “Remember when Gongzo tried to sing opera while on fire!” “Or how about the time Fuzzy actually finished a bit-” “But the theatre was empty?!” “YAS!” It wasn’t until Tracy was packing up to leave that we looked at the clock and realized we had less than five minutes left in the work day. “Oh...sorry,” I said, finally realizing enough to blush a bit. “Oh it’s no problem,” Janet said. “It was kind of cute,” Beouf chuckled, leaning back in the student desk. For once, I didn’t mind being called ‘cute’. Maybe because it was the act and not me. Maybe because an Amazon was included in that statement, shielding me. I don’t know. I glanced at the clock. “I can grade at least one more essay,” I said. I picked a paper from my stack and started to read it. I shouldn’t have. I really wish I hadn’t. My red pen went clattering to the floor, and my good natured blush became hot. Fear and righteous anger started to bubble up inside of me. It was Mrs. Beouf that spoke up. “Mr. Gibson? Clark? Are you okay? What’s wrong.” “My role model used to be Mr. Gibson,” I choked out, reading from the essay. “He taught me that it was a good thing to grow up and not be a Little baby.” Tracy saw the look on my face. “Boss? What’s wrong with that? Why are you shaking?” “Little is capitalized,” I said. I was keeping my voice low and quiet. It was either that or scream until my throat burst. “He’s not using the word as an adjective.” I couldn’t see the name on the paper, but I knew who’d written this. “My students barely know commas,” Grange told me. “It’s nothing.” I just kept reading on. “He helped me grow up and learn to use the potty by showing me how silly it looked to be a baby all your life. I remember all the times Miss Tracy would take him into the bathroom to change his diaper for him, and how silly and immature he must have felt doing that. When he came into our classroom a while ago he was still wearing a diaper. I could see it poking out of the back of his pants.” I’d like to tell you that I kept a steady pitch and tone throughout. That I kept my cool and every single syllable came out as something bored or neutral. That would be a lie. My words were unsteady and shaky. They sped up and slowed down as I fought my body for control and lost. The word ‘pants’ in particular came out high and squeaky, and every time I said ‘diaper’ the word was a breathy whisper as the air rushed out of my lungs whenever I tried to pronounce it. “Jeremy Merriwether,”Janet growled. “That shithead.” The ripped off the masking tape to confirm it. I’d fallen down in the oversized chair and was sitting down for the first time that afternoon. I had to. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my arms on them. My life was over. Totally over. Cassie was going to kill me if I ever got to see her again. I was breaking down. I was openly crying. I was frozen. Fear and anger were mixing inside of me, and right now the ratio was leaning towards fear. Both Beouf and Tracy were standing over me. Patting me on the back. Shushing me. “This isn’t an essay,” I cried. “It’s a written accusation!” “It’s gonna be alright Mr. Gibson,” Mrs. Beouf told me. “You’re fine. You’ve done nothing wrong.” A hint of the other day’s old righteous indignation came over me. I looked up at my old ally with snot starting to bubble out from my nose. “Melony!” I squeaked. “There are Littles in your classroom who were adopted for less.” “Well yeah,” Beouf replied. “But it was true in their case. Yours isn’t.” Right then I wished I could have believed her. “Typical.” “I don’t change diapers,” Tracy said as if that solved everything. “I barely help with the kids’ Pull-Ups after the first report card. We make them do it themselves.” “That’s not the point,” I said. “If they find anything that they could use to justify my firing, they’ll do it. And...and...” I couldn’t finish the sentence. It’d be all downhill from there. Fired meant can’t hold down a job, meant needed caring for, meant adoption and permanent revoking of my rights. All because I was Little. I buried my eyes in my hands again. “Typical.” The world became a radio as I stared into the palms of my own hands. “Fire you for what?” Janet asked. “Immaturity.” Tracy and Beouf said. “A tiny clause in all of our contracts. If they can reasonably prove that we’re unfit for our position, most often due to Maturosis, they can terminate our contract without additional proceedings or cause.” Janet sounded confused. Offended even. “Why is that in his contract?” “Typical.” The word was becoming a moan of pain instead of a curse. They weren’t really listening to me by this point. Not that they needed to. “It’s in all of ours,” Tracy told Janet. “Yours too. Mixed up in there with all the other gobbledy gook that you sign.” “It’s a provision left over from a couple of decades ago,” Mrs. Beouf said. She was still gently patting my back. “It was the only way to get the Union to allow Littles and Tweeners in. They didn’t want to be seen as supporting incompetents. It’s never been phased out. Politics.” “Will they find anything?” Janet asked. “Anything that could get him...y’know...?” I was too overwhelmed to be insulted just then. It was Tracy who scoffed, but Beouf who answered. “Nothing that Brollish or one of her suck ups don’t plant themselves.” “Typical.” “Why don’t we just lose the paper?” Tracy suggested. Beouf gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Can’t do that. We’re all mandated reporters and this is a serious accusation. If we don’t report it, we’re all liable.” “Typical.” It was the only word I had just then. “Then what do we do?” Janet asked. “Hypothetically?” Beouf said. “Because of the way it was submitted, we have some plausible deniability as far as time table. Clark didn’t find this, today. Mrs. Grange might find it tonight finishing up the grading, and report it first thing in the morning.” Janet took the hint. “And while I’m discovering it, what’ll you two be doing?” It was Tracy who said it first, and best. “Scouring his classroom. Making sure there’s no wiggle room for Brollish. Covering Clark’s butt so that someone doesn’t diaper it instead.” No one laughed. I made a mental note to text Cassie. I was going to be late tonight. Then I’d have to get ready for the fight when I got home. “It’s not fair,” I said. “It’s just not fair.” I would have said it more, screamed it if I could. “It’s not,” Janet said. “Clark, I’m so sorry. When I invited you to teach my class, I didn’t mean for this to happen!” “We know,” Beouf said. “We know.” I could only nod my agreement. Words were hard just then. The three circled around me. Hugging me. Hugging each other. Down the back of my neck, I swore I felt a teardrop. I’d just gotten everything I thought I’d wanted from a few days prior: A hug from several trusted friends and confidants. A sincere apology. Maybe even an Amazon’s tears. I’d gotten everything I’d said to myself I’d needed, and felt more scared and miserable than ever. The hug broke off. “Come on, Boss,” Tracy said. “Let’s hop to it. This might be a long night.”

What kind of Christmas cookies are you making? And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, what kind of cookies are you making? I just made no-bake cookies, but since their little brown plops filled with oats, I’m going to call them ‘horse puckies.’ And why are cookies so important? Because they are the basic currency of littles! To make a new friend, you give them a cookie. To make up with a friend, cookie. To exchange favors, cookies. To tell another little you like them, cookie. To tell them you like like them? Two cookies. In lieu of a wedding ring, a diaper change and a cookie cake.

If one cell in the battery shorts out, you will have a problem. Before buying a new battery, is there another vehicle you or a friend has that you could swap batteries? Just as a test, swap batteries and drive it around for a bit and see if you have any issues. If not, check the warranty on the battery. Even if it's been used for a year, replacing it if it's bad should be a pro rated price.

Great story!!!! ?? It felt real and was quite emotional! ?

This story was amazing thanks for sharing!!!

My Shelby has a control module that sits in-between the battery and the alternator. It basically sends a signal to charge or dis-charge battery and controls voltage input/output. If that's failing it will appear as though the alternator is failing. I seriously love newer cars and trucks but some of the technology I feel is redundant and silly to a point that trouble shooting them takes a special degree.

A variety, mainly gingerbread men. I mix in some shortbread and even chocolate chip now and then. My oven's been getting a workout!

Also, as odd as this sounds, check that you hav'nt left any lights or accesories on. That happened on my car, and it took a bit of an internet search to get it straightned out. ( interior light was on and it took a research to find that in order to turn it off, I had to pull the light switch out, and turn it clockwise, and push it back in to turn the $%#&@!&#&! thing off and not kill the battery....again! ? Soooooo...you might check that, but if the diagnosis is a bad cell, then a new battery it is....sorry..????

Very interesting, different too which is nice

Sent. Happy Holidays!

oh and of course bambino is having a sale now just my luck SMH

Interesting start. I like it. And well written.

Normally batteries have a 5 year warranty. Check the manufacturer

@mark84 don't let anyone discourage you. I fully understand the way you deal with the situation. After all a marriage is very important. And if you love your wife, it's above all diaper stuff.

Like anything else I think it's what you make of it. People aren't going to respond to every post anyone makes. Some topics are of more interest to some and others topics are going to be less interesting. Heck, I post often in the babyfur forum and it doesn't see a ton of action but that doesn't mean this isn't a friendly forum, just that either there aren't a lot of babyfurs or they may be shy or busy. As for the chat section, it's sort of a world unto itself and it makes sense that people will want time to get to know new folks. People sometimes have this "since we all like diapers we should all be friends" attitude, honestly it's kind of silly. Everyone should be respectful of one another but it doesn't mean everyone will be friends, nor is that a realistic expectation. Lastly, @kinkygaybottom, having read some of your posts you're into very specific things. That's not a bad thing but the more specific you are the smaller a potential audience you'll reach. Ultimately, calling people or the site out as unfriendly certainly is unlikely to make people more friendly but you do you. In the end the site will be what you choose to make of it.

It's been a while since I used shrooms. Psilocybin (hallucinogens) along with diapers are really great. Late this weekend I had been doing some "fiber loading" along with wearing my diapers. I had been wearing a confidry 24/7 disposable under 2 thick pull-on cloth diapers and my plastic pants. I also had a bunch of fiber loading with some psyllium husk (metamucil). A perfect storm. Did a couple of long walks to keep my exercise good while eating healthy food. By Saturday evening I had a huge poo that my diapers were slightly damp. When I got up on Sunday I knew I was going to have a really big one. So for fun, I ate a few shrooms and watched some videos. After a few hours, my head started feeling a bit weird. I just relaxed and sucked my thumb. Then I felt an energy begin to glow deep within me. I touched my bulging plastic pants with a wave of chills spread around my crotch. It might sound funny but the chills were warm and fuzzy. The physical sensations were accompanied by a deep awareness of what I was. After an hour I was "tripping my ass off." My mind was surprisingly calm. The shrooms awakened every nerve cells in my body. My crotch was hyper-sensitive. I felt the urge become completely strong. I just had to poo. Now. Within a few minutes, an enormous turd slid effortlessly into my wet diapers. The firm poo slowly began to become semi-soften and spread up around my balls. Then I had a suddenly involuntary contraction and a mighty surge of warm poo spread even bigger. HUGE! A second more powerful surge began with a stronger contraction. By now my diapers had begun completely full. My erection began to slide up and down. I couldn't stop . I had a convulsing climax with an incredible poogasm. Feeling completely poopy. Using the shrooms made it even better. Try it. Really. Let us know.

Elle I actually saw your post in the ADISC feed and had a heavy hunch that it would be removed. It’s tragic that censorship is a norm for that site especially because ABDLs are censored on all large social media platforms nowadays. The way I see it, all the more of a reason to appreciate DD. Keep strutting lady!

I loved this post so much here that I am just repulsed, disgusted, and nauseated by ADISC !!!! Thats my aunt you censored ! What kind of people would censor the truth ? Thats a slap in the face to any respectable person. Maybe one of you admins at ADISC was reprimanded or ridiculed by their wife for masturbating. I have masturbated since I was aged 11. I am gay and I looked at pictures of men. I may have been young but I know how to use the internet. I and my boyfriend masturbate each other all the time in our diapers and in the shower and places I care not mention (sorry titi) but it is human and a function, @~Brian~ I love you man,, you rule !! I have a friend with CP and I can totally relate. My aunt has a friend that is a quadriplegic and we welcome her here with open arms and I know my aunt takes very good care of her. She wears diapers and my aunt will make sure she is clean and happy when she visits. We have all spoken about masturbation in a comfortable setting, and my aunts friend said it best "even people in wheelchairs get off" . So you tell me why would a so called site like ADISC censor the truth ?

I have a feeling that her changing window will be over before she can get to the door... but that's just an evil thought I had.

I just woke up in the middle of pooping my overnight diaper. It's pretty well soaked and now filling up in the back. I will be waiting for a little while to make sure I am finished pooping before I go change and shower. I don't know how I could function today without high quality adult diapers.

I messed my Abena M4 at 4:00 AM; about 13 hours ago. I exercised then went out for a jog with the loaded diaper. It was still dark and cold, but my butt was nice and warm, lumpy, and squishy. I stayed in the messy diaper about 3 hours before I changed and before my wife got up. It was a great way to start a Sunday morning.

I do have a problem with the moderators on ADISC banning me from mature topics on my conservative political beliefs. The moderator says I am lying and insists I provide the proofs. Of course I did show articles but says its all lies and a biased media. So annoying...

It’s a rare and special treat for me, and two weeks ago I had a really nice one. I was in a diaper, just comfortingly and cozily wet. A friend on ADISC asked if I’d done it lately. I confessed I’d been thinking about it and she invited an audio chat right then, to support me and keep me company. And we had a really nice conversation about all kinds of things, returning every once in a while to me describing each stage of doing it and her being amused and kind and quietly delighted (because she does it all the time and wishes I would do it more). I was switching back-and-forth between the grown-up catch-up conversation and being a little boy hiding in my “special spot” and pooping my pants. She asked some great questions like “If a mommy came in the room right now, would she know you’re filling your pants?” Blush... yes. And that it’s too late to get me to do it anywhere else. It’s probably the most casual and accepting conversation I’ve had with someone who knew I was also in the process of pooping in my pants since I really was a toddler.

Love my firearms glad we I live in the US with a second amendment. People tend to forgot firearms are just a tool and it's the user who is ultimately responsible for any misgivings just as it's not the car that is punished for killing someone after they drove drunk. Don't punish the tool blame the irresponsible firearm owners and criminals.

Hey! Here is the next chapter! You can find the final 2 chapters on my Patreon page! ❤️ So happy you all been enjoying the story so far! https://www.patreon.com/mamabug Chapter Eight The miracle of life – is something that will stay in your mind forever. Even though he had a million thoughts going through his head, even though most of it was a blur, the car drive there, getting Samantha into the hospital and watching her be in the room, at that moment, he couldn’t concentrate. He was running on instincts alone. Whenever Samantha needed him, he was right there. When she was yelling at him, he didn’t let it bother him. He listened to everyone around and did exactly what he should do. However, when he looked back at it years later – it was clear as day. Except, he forgot all the confusion, all the panic, all the worry – and focused on the beautiful moment when his son was born. They named him Nathaniel. He was perfect. As soon as they set their eyes upon him, they were in love. He was so tiny and small. “You did amazing,” Jon said as he leaned down and kissed his wife. She worked so hard the past 10 hours laboring with their son, and it took her about thirty minutes of pushing for him to be born. Jon was amazed and not quite sure how she managed to do it all. “He is so perfect,” she said, tears of joy running down her face, “he’s got your little nose.” She said with a giggle, and Jonathan beamed. All his worries from before were washed away. His entire focus was now the little boy in front of him. “Do you want to hold him, daddy?” One of the nurses said he nodded his head, though he was a bit worried; he never held a newborn before. The nurses gently took him from Samantha and gave him to Jon, helping him support the little one’s head. “Hey buddy,” he said as he held onto his son, looking down at his pink body, “I’m going to do whatever I can for you. I’m going to protect you and love you to the best of my ability.” At that moment, the world was perfect. The next few months were quite hectic. Sleepless nights, getting up with the baby, bottles, diapers, and everything else in-between. Jonathan was so focused on the son, he no longer even thought about his lifestyle. He didn’t feel jealous when Samantha breastfed when she cooed at him when his diapers were changed. Jonathan was right beside his wife the entire time, dotting on his newborn son just as much as she was. “We made a damn good looking baby,” he said one day as he held him in his arm. “We sure did,” she said with a laugh, “although you were always cute, so I knew he was going to as well.” He blushed at those words, but his thoughts didn’t trickle back to wearing a diaper. At least not right then. For a moment, he thought his fetish days were behind him. That this was a new phase in his life, and he would no longer need that part of him. He was dead wrong, though. If he only had known that eventually, those feelings would come back, and they would come back with a vengeance. The urges became so strong that he found himself holding a diaper in his hands, moments from putting it on – before he shoved it away. By the time his son was a month old, he had thrown away all his stuff (without Samantha knowing). But, that didn’t help the urges. Samantha had come to him several times and asked him what was wrong; he just said he was tired and okay. But, he could feel himself pulling away from her. He was distant from everyone around him. He was moody. He couldn’t handle the stress of fatherhood as well; even though he loved his son too pieces, at times, it was too much to bear. It was to the point where Samantha stopped trying. It was apparent he was hurting her. He could see it upon her face, but yet he couldn’t open it to her. He watched her several times and wanted to open up his heart – but he was too afraid. He had no control over his life anymore. He felt like he was walking through a black tunnel, and there was no escape. Even though he knew there was away, and all he had to do was speak out. He knew that he couldn’t keep living like this. It was just as painful as if he told Samantha his feelings, and she told him they were done with the fetish stuff. He couldn’t sleep, he hardly ate, he took many sick days at work that they threatened to write him up. He was drowning in his own emotions. Could anyone save him? Was it worth it anymore? He felt like a burden to himself, his wife, and even his son. He felt like he wasn’t the person he used to be, the person he should be. He felt like a failure. Perhaps, it was best if he wasn’t there any longer. “Jonathan?” The voice was muffled. He was sitting on the bed, zoned out. He was wearing his work clothes still, not even having changed them. He turned his head to see Samantha standing there, her arms crossed over her chest and a look of concern spread across her face. “Jonathan. You know if anything is bothering you, you can tell me, right?” “I’m okay,” he said, trying to gather up his thoughts, “just been a busy day at work.” “I know there is more than that,” she said, “you’ve been really distant lately….is everything okay? Are you happy?” “I already told you,” he said with a sigh, “I’m fine.” “Jon….” Her words were soft now, and he could see tears forming in her eyes, “are you cheating on me?” “What?!” He retorted. “Well? Ever since our son was born, you’ve changed. You’ve grown cold, not as loving as you used to be. What happened? Just tell me, please. If you’re cheating on me, maybe we can…” “I don’t need to take this,” Jonathan said, knowing he was angry for no reason, but he couldn’t help it. It was like the lid of the bottle of emotions he held too tightly for so long was broken. He shot up and started to head for the door. “Where are you going?” She asked him. “I don’t know,” he said, “I just can’t be here right now.” He left her there, all alone. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing, He took a walk around the block, in a daze, trying to gather his thoughts together. He was an idiot. Why did he yell at her like that when she has done nothing wrong? He was the one that was pushing her away. He was moving her away because he was scared she would push him away. But, she didn’t know what was going on in his mind. He hit himself, feeling like a fool and a failure. He felt the hot tears burn his eyes, and he was no longer able to contain him. He fell onto the sidewalk and began to cry for a long time. Afterward, he felt a lot lighter. He knew it couldn’t keep going on like this. He needed to face the truth. For now, the darkness had grown too much, that at this point, he would instead her tell him she didn’t want to do anything more with him than go through this. He got up and wiped himself off before heading back home. “Samantha?” He said in a broken voice. “We need to talk.”

Here is the next chapter! You can find chapter Eight and Nine on my Patreon page! https://www.patreon.com/mamabug The starting of next year I'll be bringing my more Patreon exclusive content! Like Patreon stories, artwork, audio books and my podcast! Chapter Seven The next few months flew by in a blink of an eye. By that time, they had almost the whole nursery set up. They had a crib, a changing table; they had cute little stuff animals, diapers galore, bottles, clothes, and everything else you could think about. Every time they would walk in the store – Samantha would make a b-line for the baby aisle as Jon would follow behind her. She would go on and beam at all the little clothing, and Jon felt little all the time. He felt like everyone was looking at him and reading his thoughts. Look at that grown man. He blushes when his wife talks about baby stuff! He must be one of those perverts that wear diapers! Although, not a single person could be around – and he would still have those thoughts. They ate at him. They ate at him to the point that he no longer found joy in wearing diapers – he only found shame and disappear. Though, the desire to wear diapers – to be treated little, didn’t vanish though. Even though every time he was done wearing a diaper, he would look at himself with disgust – but the urge would always come back to him. It was like a dark shadow that was around him. It reminded him of his youth, how he would hide his fetish away. It wasn’t until he met Samantha that he fully started to accept himself, with her help. But, now, he was hiding it from her. There was one time that she caught him wearing a diaper. She told him she was going out with some friends for the day. She was about five months pregnant at this point. It was right around when they were setting up the nursery. Once she left the house, about ten minutes later, the urges came to him. He tried to hold them back; he wanted to suppress them. But, it got the best of him, and he soon found himself in a diaper sitting on the couch. About twenty minutes later, he filled it up and then began to play with himself. Rubbing his hand against his crotch, the warmth of the diaper against his skin brought him over to the edge. In the middle of him rubbing himself, the door opened, and he shot up. His wife walked in and looked at him. “Oh,” she said with a little giggle, “sorry, I was halfway there when I realized I forgot something.” “Oh,” he said, feeling really embarrassed as he watched as she walked past him. She returned a few moments later, kissed him on the cheek, and left. She didn’t look at him in disgust, but she also didn’t tease him like she used to do. Before, if she had caught him wearing a diaper, she would always make time to tease him about it, even if she were in a hurry. A few times, she would say how he should still be wearing it when she returned home. It was like that part of her was distant lately, and she no longer cared if he wore a diaper or not. It broke his heart a little bit. Once she left, he took off the diaper without finishing and took a shower – feeling humiliated and alone. It had been a few months since they had done anything diaper related – although they did have sex a couple of times. She had teased him here and there and made some remarks – especially when they were getting the nursery set up. It was few and far between, nothing like how it used to be – where it was almost daily. He felt like the life he knew was fading away. He was scared. After that incident, he didn’t touch a diaper for several weeks. Samantha never said anything about it – she never told him to wear a diaper – she was so wrapped up in everything going on with the baby. Not that he couldn’t blame her – not that he wasn’t also excited about the birth of his son. He was right there beside her for every doctor’s appointment. He helped her set up the nursery. He stayed up late with her when she wasn’t feeling well, taking care of her. He remembered almost cried when he felt him move within his wife’s belly. It was exhilarating. It was the most beautiful and terrifying thing ever. He had dreams of when his son was born, and he began to get excited about all the things they could do together. They could go fishing, go to sports games, they could play video games, and so forth. But, still, that dark thought lingered in the back of his mind, and he couldn’t shake it off. There were times he would pace back and forth, trying to fight the temptation of putting a diaper on. No, he wasn’t a little boy anymore. He was a grown man. He was going to be a father. Perhaps he just had to admit that part of their life was over. This was a new chapter. At one point, he packed up all his little stuff and attempted to throw it away, but he couldn’t get that far. Every single time he tried, he would place it back down again and cry. He felt so stupid. He felt selfish. He was going to be a dad; his life wasn’t about himself anymore. He had to worry about another person. He didn’t want to be afraid or jealous or upset. He wanted to have happy and ecstatic as his wife was and just that. He didn’t want to have moments where he was in complete awe and wonder about the prospects of a new baby, and then the next moment, he was beating himself up for wanting to throw on a diaper and have his wife care for him like he was a baby too. There were a few times he was close to telling his wife. They were in the middle of doing something, and he reached out and started to speak. But, when she caught his eye, he would change the subject on the dime. He was worried that she would 1) tell him what he feared, that he was right and needed to get rid of this lifestyle and that she didn’t want to be a part of it, or 2) tell him that he was selfish for only thinking of himself. It’s not just about him anymore. Of course, a few times, he imagined her telling him that she’ll always be his mommy and that she’ll still care for him, but those thoughts were short-lived. As the days grew closer, it just increased the worst, and his fears intensified. When suddenly, it was late at night, and Samantha suddenly woke him up. “It’s time!” She called out. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up on his elbows and looked at his wife. “What?” He muttered. “It’s time, Jon! The baby is coming!” She said, her face winching as she pressed her hands against her gigantic belly. At that point, he was awake. “Oh shit,” he said, “okay! Grab the bag, and let’s get to the car!” He said, trying to remember exactly what they practiced for this moment. He grabbed her hospital bag and helped her out of bed; they stood there for a moment. “I love you,” he told her. “I love you too,” she replied. They smiled before he helped her out of the room and to the car.

Same

Here is the next chapter! You can find the next 2 chapters https://www.patreon.com/mamabug Thank you all for your support! ❤️ Chapter Four Even though the movie was about twenty minutes or so from ending, it felt like an eternity. Before when he messed his diapers, it was cleaned up right away, but this was different. Jonathan’s whole face was red – perhaps his entire body! Not once did Samantha take her hand from his diapered bottom. She was continually patting it and rubbing it in, causing him to wiggle and feel even littler. This reminded him of the time when they were still in college when he would be in a diaper after a long day of classes, and they would cuddle on the couch and watch TV all night. Those days when they didn’t have as many worries or concerns. He would lay his head on her lap, and she would play with his hair. He closed his eyes, feeling himself drift to sleep. “Hey, little one.” He opened his eyes and let out a small yawn as he looked up at his wife, looking down at him. “You fell asleep, silly.” “Oops,” he replied, “sorry. Is the movie over?” “It’s been over for about fifteen minutes,” she told him, “but you looked so cute that I couldn’t wake you up!” “Oh,” he said as he turned to look away from her. It took him a moment to remember that he was lying on the couch in a very wet and messy diaper, “um, are you going to change me now, Mommy?” “I don’t know,” Samantha said, “you look so cute in a thick diaper; it makes it difficult for me to want to change you.” “Please,” he said. The diaper was beginning to get a little uncomfortable, and he was worried about getting a diaper rash as well. “Maybe, but first,” she said, before she slipped her fingers on top of his crotch, pressing down slightly, feeling his bulge. He bit his lip as she began to massage him through the diaper. He groaned and wiggled about as she continued to give him pleasure through his diaper. She continued to press as hard as she could, but then would lessen up. A few times, she would grab hold of him through the diaper and began to jerk him off that way. Either way, however, she touched him; it drove him wild. He moaned and shifted about, the pleasure too much for him. But right when he was at the peak of the pleasure, she stopped. “Before you can get off,” she replied, “you need to help me.” It was then that she stood off, sliding her pants and underwear and sitting back down on the couch, spreading her legs. Jon licked his lips as he slid off the couch. “Yes, mommy.” He replied as he positioned himself right in-between her, sticking his face right into her, and began to lick up her juices. As he went down on her, she grabbed hold of his hair and began to yank on it as she started to moan in pleasure as well – which just excited him more. He loved giving pleasure to his wife, his mommy, his best friend. After a while, she pulled his head back; she was panting hard, her hair sticking to her face from the sweat. “Good boy,” she said, “now go into the bedroom.” He nodded his heads as he pulled himself up and made his way into the bed, though it was a bit difficult to walk. He felt like his diaper was going to leak any second. He took small steps, feeling the mess mush around with every step. He made his way into the bedroom, but then he just stood there. He didn’t want to lie down on the bed, in fear that the mess would squeeze out of his diaper and spread across their sheets. This time, his mommy came in pretty soon afterward – having her shorts back on. She had a towel in her hand, as well. “Here we go; this will protect the blankets and sheets from your stinky behind,” he said, waving her hand over her face. He didn’t say anything, just watched as she laid the large towel on the bed, and then he got on top of it, lying down and spreading out his legs. “You’re such a big stinky baby,” she said with a giggle, poking his diaper with her finger, “what am I going to do with you?” “I don’t know,” he said in a small voice, too embarrassed (and turned on) to think straight. “It’s going to take me such a long time to change you,” she said with a sigh as she went to the closet to pull out the diaper wipes. “Tell me, what did you do?” She asked. “I messed my diaper, mommy.” “Why?” “Because I’m a baby boy,” he muttered; his face was on fire. He wanted to crawl in a little bawl and hide away from the world. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could handle. Every word she spoke, every touch, every sensation was driving him crazy. “That is correct, mister.” She said as she reached down and tickled his stomach slightly, causing him to giggle and wiggle about, “you are nothing but a stinky baby boy that mommy has to change!” “Thank you,” he said meekly. She patted his diapered bottom once again before tearing at the tabs and pulling the diaper down, revealing the massive mess in the diaper. “Oh, boy!” she said as she waved her hand in front of her face, “what a stinky boy!” He bit his lip at her reaction to his mess. She grabbed the top of the diaper and wiped down his front, getting as much mess as she could off before gabbing the wipes. She lifted his legs high in the sky as she began to wipe him down. “I suppose this is good practice,” she said as she put the used wipes in the diaper and grabbed some fresh ones, “after changing your large diapers – a baby should be a piece of cake.” After she spoke, she paused for a moment. Not for a long time, but enough for him to notice. She blanked out, stared into space as if she was deep in thought. He opened his mouth to say something, but then she shook her head and continued to clean him up. He had a terrible feeling in his gut. “We are almost clean,” she said as she grabbed a few more wipes before finishing him off. She then took the soiled diaper and wrapped it up as tightly as she could, “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.” He nodded his head, looking up at the ceiling. He didn’t think of anything, just laid there staring. His whole body was numb, for he was too worried to think, assume, and wonder what it was she was thinking. She returned a minute later. “Thank you, mommy.” He replied as she walked over to him, bending down to kiss him on the lips. “You’re welcome, baby,” she said as she crawled on top of him, continuing to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her close. At that moment, he didn’t want to think about anything else but having her in his arms.

Hello all, So... I've never properly written anything before, so I've decided to just start writing and hopefully learn and develop a proper style along the way. I don't expect my story to develop into a work of art, but feedback is appreciated. My goal for now is to improve to the point that one day someone stops mid-fap to appreciate my writing. Thanks in advance! Debug Debug Day 0: What are the Odds? I think that probability is a pretty funny thing. You never really think about it, but nothing actually has a zero percent chance of happening. A physics teacher of mine once stood in front of the class and poked his finger into his palm over and over. He told us that the atoms that make up his hand are constantly moving around and that if he were to keep poking at his hand forever, at some point they would align in just the perfect way that his finger would go through his palm. I don’t know if that was actually true, and I didn’t get the chance to find out because physics class may feel like an eternity, but they actually last somewhere in the range of an hour. I also don’t know if atoms are really that random since I am pretty sure there’s like an electromagnetic force kind of thing that prevents it regardless of specific arrangement. Either way, I’m getting off topic. The point is that some really weird crap can happen given an infinite number of chances, for example: did you know that energy has a wavelength? Or something, I’m still a little fuzzy on the details myself. What I can say with some confidence is that the entire universe has something like an average frequency it vibrates at, and after who knows how many cycles of expanding and contracting, it seems that something that matched that frequency perfectly popped into existence for just one moment. It’s me (or more specifically my brainwaves). You know it’s me, there’d be no point in me writing all this otherwise, right? I wish I had some cool kind of “Aliens descended and proclaimed me the chosen one” moment, but honestly I just suddenly felt really really sick. At first I thought it was an asthma attack given that I suddenly couldn’t catch my breath and the fact that those are pretty common for me, but then I took my inhaler and didn’t feel any better. Then I thought it was heat stroke or something since my head hurt and I started sweating like crazy. I thought it would make sense given that I was wearing a dark shirt with a dark jacket over my dark skin and sizeable curly black hair combined with the fact that it was the middle of the afternoon in June (afterjune?) in Texas, so I shuffled over to a nearby tree and sat for a second in the shade to see if taking a rest in a slightly cooler place would help. It didn’t. I was going to start running to the nearest store to see if drinking some water would help, when suddenly my head stopped aching, instead of an ache it felt like someone put a row of ice picks along the top of my head and started hammering away. I don’t know if I screamed or fainted or what, but I felt the intense pain, and then everything went dark in an instant, and then light again just as fast. It only lasted a fraction of a second, but in that time I saw more than I could ever process, my brain might have actually exploded if it lasted any longer. Light flashed over and over as my vision rushed past more than I could possibly imagine. Millions of stars flew by and I saw each of the planets around them. Oceans, alien species, plants, grains of sand, all of them flew by my eyes as I saw everything. Billions of solar systems circled around galaxy after galaxy, and trillions more were born or eaten by black holes. And then, just as I felt my head was about to explode… It all went back to black. I was still just sitting there under the tree. My head felt fine, I felt warm, but just about what I’d expect from summer weather in Texas. I wasn’t dead and I hadn’t ascended to a higher plane or anything, in fact I couldn’t even remember most of what I’d seen. I had vague recollections or flashes of memory, but most of it was gone like a dream. So despite the flashiness, I didn’t get omniscience or omnipotence or anything like that since I couldn’t remember or even comprehend a lot of what I saw. That said: I did get a consolation prize. One important thing I noticed in my brief glimpse behind the curtain was the curtain itself. A layer where reality as it functions meets the rules that make it function. It was there in front of me plain as day while I had that little trip, and if I squint really hard, I can sort of see it in a way that I can’t really explain. At first it only looked like a distortion in space. Touching at it made the world ripple like everything was made of water, but after poking around a bit, the ripples seemed to respond to me and coalesced into something familiar. The ripples formed a window like you’d see in a game menu. I don’t know if it was another case of probability being wild or maybe just an effect of my near resonance with the universe letting me see things in a usable way, but either way it’s convenient. Re-energized, I bolted up to my third floor apartment, ignored my housemates and locked myself in my room. Once I sat on my bed I tried to focus on the image of those ripples condensing into the window from before, and it shimmered back into my view. I shouldn’t be surprised given that I’d just first seen it only a few minutes ago, but it still felt surreal. Looking through it, there were things that could be changed relatively intuitively. Things I was looking at had their tab pulled to the front of the list and had relatively simple options. The bed I’m sitting on, for example has its length, width, height, composition, and so on listed out with easy to understand numbers and words. Focusing in on the cotton let me see the structure of it and probably would let me change anything from the curliness down to its atomic composition if I wanted, but… I think it would be best not to mess with things I don’t fully understand just yet. There are a lot of things to look through. Pages and pages, on and on, seemingly forever, or maybe actually forever if this corresponds to the entire universe, and while it might be fun to try creating a planet or blowing up a black hole, I should probably start smaller. With that in mind, there’s something I should note. I have a whole thing with diapers. I can’t quite say it’s just a fetish, since there are also a lot of feelings like comfort and safety that I end up having separately from any sort of arousal, they’re just plain comfortable, and I’d choose them over boxers or briefs any day of the week. On the other hand, I definitely find them arousing. The softness of the padding, the warmth and squishyness when they’re wet, even just the look of a hot girl in a big poofy diaper. It’s all just my sweetest fantasy. Unfortunately, fantasy is all it is at the moment. I hope it’s understandable if I say that I’m embarrassed about loving diapers. It’s obviously not socially acceptable for a grown man to wear diapers, let alone want to, and being turned on by them is almost certainly going to end any romantic relationship 99% of the time. I’ve always been scared of the potential rejection if I tell anyone how I feel so I’ve just kept it to myself for years. Wearing them in my own room behind a locked door and just imagining has been about the extent of things. But now… Now that I have this ability I might be able to make some of those dreams a reality. If I could just figure out the right things to change, I could live in the world I’ve always wanted to. It’s right there! So then, I’ve decided to start this log as a way to document and share what I do. Maybe someday I’ll look back at the way things were, or maybe someone else will find it and find that things used to be different… or maybe I chicken out and don’t change anything at all. It all starts tomorrow, I’ll get a night’s sleep to gather my thoughts, and then, starting tomorrow, I’ll make my wishes come true. My name is Leston Savaric, and I can not wait for tomorrow. P.S. The time is now three in the morning. I don’t know why I thought I’d sleep after getting freaking super powers ?

It's been a while since I've posted a new story here. I hope everyone has been doing well and staying safe in these crazy covid times. A friend requested this story and I'm posting it here for free because I want to share some entertainment and distraction from the world. This story features Alex and Bernadette from my novel "Secrets To Keep" (it's available on Amazon. If you have Kindle Unlimited, you can read it for free, along with several other stories such as Daddy's Girl, Summer Swim, Beach Baby, and The Rainbow's End.) My books on Amazon. You don't need to read Secrets to understand this story. I wrote this for a friend who also named the teddy bear. LOVE AND CORONA by CK Cute Kitten Alex pressed his cheek against the sun warmed glass. Outside the window, little robins hopped about on their tiny legs, ruffling their feathers and tweeting at the blue sky. Pink and white magnolia blossoms filled the air with their sweetness while green leaves budded on dark tree branches. “This sucks.” He slumped back in his wheelchair with a loud crinkle from his freshly changed diaper. The fresh spring breeze wafted in through the partially open window, taunting him. He’d been stuck in the house for weeks, but it felt like months. The most he did was play fetch in the backyard with Sarge, his golden retriever. The family dog was old, so he wasn’t up for much playing. The Covid-19 virus shut down the bustling small town. People only ventured out in masks and gloves for necessities. His mom, Ella, would not let him go anywhere; she claimed that even with a mask and gloves it was too dangerous for him. Alex looked out the window. Below the tree, in the driveway, sat his shiny blue Mustang. It had special, modified hand brakes so he could drive it. He felt it calling his name; he itched to leave the house. Go anywhere or do anything, even run to the grocery store for a bag of their crappy, too-thin and leak prone diapers. Baby powder. Suppositories. An enema. Whatever. He just wanted out, a change of scenery. He tried bargaining with his mother, but Ella wouldn’t budge. She was the Berlin wall between him and freedom. As a stay at home mother, she was here all the time to watch over and check on him all the time. He couldn’t even sneak out for a trip to a fast food drive through. She confiscated his car keys the first time he tried. He puffed his cheeks out in annoyance. He knew she was terrified of him catching the virus and she just wanted to protect him, but her smothering was driving him up a wall. He pushed backwards on his wheels, rolling back and gazing about his room to look for something to take his mind off of things. The bedroom walls were a pale baby blue with white trim work. Glow in the dark star stickers decorated the ceiling above his bed with the white and navy striped duvet and a waterproof mattress cover in case his diaper leaked during the night. Basketball trophies filled several shelves on the walls and framed photos of his basketball days were turned face down, some with cracked frames. Photos of him with his old group of friends, the popular kids at school, were gone. Those fair weather friends had drifted away after his accident. The only frames still up were photos of him with his parents and him and his girlfriend Bernadette. His room was tidy; he’d kept it neat and orderly even before his accident. A mint green laptop sat on his desk. His schoolwork for the week was complete. So was Bernadette’s. Due to the virus, schools had closed down and classes had switched to online. Alex had been so bored he worked ahead then did Bernadette’s work as well. He was a straight A student, always on the honor roll and scoring top marks while Bernadette barely managed to pass her classes. Alex didn’t miss any of his classmates, but he deeply missed his girlfriend. He rolled to his neatly made bed where a pile of plushies sat and grabbed a powder blue teddy bear off his bed. It was a birthday gift from Bernadette when they were in first grade. He’d named the bear Count Snuggly von Snuffles the IV or Snuggly for short. He hugged his favorite plushy tight, burying his face in the soft fur. He and Bennie grew up together. Their parents were friends, so the they had grown up lifelong best friends. They had only been dating for a short time, since Valentine’s Day. Their relationship was like a tropey, cheesy romance. Just a few months and he already needed her like needed air to breathe. He had loved her his whole life; they were the other half of each other’s hearts. Soul mates down to their dirty little secrets. Alex was an AB and Benni an AB Caregiver. The plot was like something written by a tacky ABDL author on the diaper story forums Alex liked to read. He and Bernadette were polar opposites in many ways. Until his spinal cord injury last summer, Alex had been the star basketball player of the highschool team. With his shaggy blonde hair, big blue eyes and pretty boy good looks, he’d naturally fallen in with the popular kids like a duck takes to water. Bennie was cute and pretty with her brown hair and brown eyes, but she’d never be a stunning beauty queen. She favored loud neon clothes and loved performing magic tricks and body contortion. She’d always been the weird girl, the bendy neon freak. Now, in their senior year of highschool, Alex was a social outcast as well due to his wheelchair and diapers. “Snuggly, I miss Bennie.” He rubbed his cheek against the plush blue fur then gazed down into the blue marbles of Count Snuggly von Snuffles the IV’s eyes as if the inanimate object held the answers to his problems. He knew, rationally, the plushy was just a pile of stuffing sewn up in blue fur, but cuddling the bear helped him to not feel so alone. He’d slept with the bear every night since Bennie gave it to him, and cuddling the bear now made him feel closer to Bennie. Modern technology kept them in touch; they texted and called each other daily and video-chatted and watched Netflix together via remote screen sharing, but none of that was the same as face to face, in-person interaction. Especially when it came to their AB games. They didn’t indulge much- just little things like Bennie feeding him or changing his diapers. He often had her push his wheelchair on dates when his arms got tired, like their last date through the long halls of the local Botanical Gardens and Aviary. He booped Snuggly’s nose with a fingertip. “At least Bennie is gonna get all A’s in her classes now.” He sighed wistfully, thinking of how lovingly Bennie changed his diapers. She’d perform magic tricks like making his clean, folded up diaper disappear. He knew it was a sleight-of-hand trick but he hadn’t figured out. She blew playful raspberries on his flat, bare tummy after taping a new diaper on him, making him laugh and squirm. She’d bought him a bib and a few pacifiers he kept hidden for when they were alone in private and safety. She would make silly airplane sounds when she fed him. Her lips would buzz as she flew the spoon or fork through the air. “Boom! Uh-oh, an engine just blew! Mayday! Open the hanger for an emergency landing!” She’d swivel the utensil, threatening to spill the bite of food as Alex giggled and opened his mouth. When she pushed his wheelchair, she often bent over to steal quick kisses on his cheeks or the back of his neck. The memories made him feel warm and fuzzy inside like a small child with not a care or worry in the world. His heart ached, wanting to feel like that again. His pink lips twisted in a pout. The blank flatscreen TV across from his bed reflected his image. Between his expression and Count Snuggly von Snuffles the IV, he looked like a whining toddler about to throw a tantrum. Alex scrunched his nose at the image and turned away. “All this moaning and moping isn’t doing any good. I know there’s people out there with bigger problems than mine. This whole thing just sucks. I need to do something.” He looked down at Snuggly as if the bear could answer him. “But what?” Nothing. He had nothing to do. No job- after his accident, both his parents fussed too much if he even mentioned looking for a job. He used to work part time at a home improvement store as a stock boy. Now, his mom Ella insisted he needed time to adjust and heal. He’d been doing that for the better part of a year. At this point, he thought she needed it more than he did. His father was a doctor with his own thriving practice. Ella insisted Alex have an allowance. His dad didn't argue; he never argued with his wife. He was rarely home enough to have a full conversation. His life was work, and his wife was the head of the household. And Alex was on the receiving end of most of her attention. “Snuggly, she could at least let me do some chores.” He hated getting an allowance for nothing. That was another battle between him and his mother. “I like to play baby, but I’m not a baby.” He frowned. Ever since the virus cancelled Ella’s social activities, she’d been more focused on her disabled son. A long, warm wave of pee streamed over his crotch. The thick padding swaddling him absorbed it all so fast he wondered if he’d truly just wet himself. The damage to his lower spinal cord left him unable to tell when his bladder and bowel were full, but his automatic empty reflex remained intact, which was unusual in lower injuries like his. There were other methods of incontinence control he could use, such as catheters and a bowel program, but diapers made him feel safe and secure. Anytime, anywhere he was protected from an untimely accident. He found them easier to deal with. The wall next to his closet was stacked floor to ceiling with cases of adult diapers. Puffy, thick, ultra absorbent adult diapers in a wide array of ABDL prints. His parents did not know about hishidden AB side. He just told them he liked the colorful prints. White was boring, and designs on his diapers made them feel more like regular underwear. His parents found it odd but did not question it since it seemed to help him cope. When toilet paper started to become scarce, Ella panicked and went into survival mode. She stocked up on non-perishable foods, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and diapers for her son. As a result, he ended up with a few cases of girly and sissy diapers from her panicked misclicks as she hurried to place an order before the diaper supply vanished as fast as the toilet paper. Alex shuddered at the bags of pink and purple diapers. He dreaded when he’d have to wear those. He’d rather wear a boring, plain white incontinence brief instead. His current diaper was green with cartoon dinosaurs on the front panel. Loose, light colored khaki pants almost concealed the enormous bulk of his protective padding, but close inspection revealed the tell-tale bulge of a very thick diaper. The light coloring of the soft fabric showed diaper leaks too easily, so he never wore them to school or out of the house. He wore a pale green t-shirt with his favorite band under a navy flannel shirt. Stuck in the house all day, every day, he easily live in just pajamas. But that felt like giving up on his freedom, his connection with the outside world. So he got dressed every day. He refused to get stuck in an imposed rut. Thanks to Ella’s restrictions, he had more free time than he knew what to do with. He was ahead in school work. He had begged Bernadette to let him do her work, too. She’d happily complied. He finished that a few days ago. He already re-read his favorite books, including Lord of the Rings and all seven of the Harry Potter books. Shows and movies he streamed with Bennie in the evenings on Netflix. He had texted her earlier, but was still waiting for a reply. Unlike him, Bernadette was very busy. All of her live performances and engagements for her magical contortion act had been cancelled. So she used this time to promote herself online. She made Youtube and TikTok videos of magic tricks or contortion stunts. To help with her lack of income, she hosted live video chat magic lessons where she taught people basic, easy sleight of hand tricks. She was a daring entrepreneur who never gave up on her plans and dreams. She planned to become a world class, famous magician. She wanted her name right up there with the magical legends- Houdini, Penn and Teller, Seigfried and Roy. Hard work and planning was slowly turning those dreams into a reality. The local news station and a few news papers featured her several times. Around the town she was a well-known performer for birthday parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc. She still had a long way to go, but he knew she’d achieve her big dreams. He felt it in his bones, a certainty in his guts. He admired that about her, and wished their parents could see it too. Instead, all they saw was the danger and risk, not the reward. They had no faith in Bernadette, in her dream. Just like they had no faith in Alex’s ability to take care of his paraplegic self. Alex scrunched his nose and told Snuggly, “I could put my leg braces on again and crutch around the house…” But his legs were still tired from when he did that this morning after breakfast. Ella had hovered worriedly behind him with his wheelchair. Alex pushed his body too far in his boredom. Standing up straight gave him a different vantage point, almost made him feel whole again. His wheelchair was his new normal, and while he was used to seeing the world from that perspective, he hated always having to look up at people. He spent most of his time in his wheelchair. His stamina sucked; this morning had proved that quite nicely. After breakfast he walked around the house on his leg braces and crutches, pushing himself past his limits. Slowly he had crutched all over the house, diaper crinkling loudly with each movement. It felt so good to be up and moving, to do something different. He hadn’t wanted to stop, not even when his digested breakfast filled the back of his diaper. His mom noticed and wanted him to stop for a diaper change. He feigned ignorance and kept going. His muscles fatigued and he’d wobbled dangerously. He would’ve fallen if his mother hadn’t been right behind him with his chair. Maybe all of her worrying wasn’t so pointless. He had collapsed in his wheelchair, so exhausted he didn’t notice the mess in his diaper squishing all around. He was too tired to deal with a diaper change, let alone a super messy diaper change, so he allowed his mother to take care of him. Ella had changed him then tucked him into bed for a mid-morning nap. He’d woken up from that a while ago, changed out of his soaked diaper, and enjoyed some quiet time without his mom hovering over him. “So, what do I do, Snuggly?” Alex shifted in his wheelchair, diaper crinkling loudly. Periodic shifting of his weight helped him avoid pressure sores from sitting most of the time. The powder blue bear tumbled out of his lap; he leaned forward from the waist, stretching down. His diaper crinkled noisily and a warm squirt of pee spread over his front as he snatched Count Snuggly up and hugged the bear tight. “I could play cards, but I’m tired of solitaire. Tired of video games, too. Maybe I can talk Mom into a board game after lunch. Or-” His bedroom door opened, cutting him off mid sentence as his mom bustled in. “Oh, good. You’re up, sweetie. I know you’ve been bored under quarantine, so I’ve got a friend for you to talk to.”

Alex looked at his mother’s smiling face and squeezed his blue bear tight. Ella’s dyed blonde hair was in a stylish shoulder length bob. She wore a navy sweater, mom jeans, and a golden heart necklace studded with real diamonds Alex and his dad got her for mother’s day several years ago. Inside the locket was a picture of the three of them. A pair of diamond and gold earrings completed her casual look. A small worm of suspicion wriggled in his gut. He knew that expression on her pretty face. Her smile was too tight, underlined with a nervous tension. She was afraid of how he was going to react to what she’d done. His parents did not approve of him and Bernadette dating. They never objected directly, just dropped small, subtle hints in what they said, their facial expressions and tones, the things they did not say. Ella was close friends with Bernadette’s mom, so she heard first hand all the gripes about Bernadette refusing to go to college. She thought the magical act was a pipe dream, that Bennie was throwing away her future. There would be bad consequences to that action and Ella feared Bernadette would drag Alex down with her. Ella told Alex he and Bennie were far too young to be so serious. He countered by pointing out his grandparents married when Grandma was just sixteen and she never even finished highschool. His grandparents were still together. Ella said times were different now so his point wasn’t valid. Ella said another reason the relationship would never work out was they were headed in different directions. Alex was going off to college after graduation and summer vacation. Bernadette was going nowhere fast if she didn’t screw her head on straight and pick a college and a major. A major that actually offered future employment and job opportunities. Alex said he and Bennie already talked about that, and were determined to make it work. A lot of celebrities got divorced all the time, but his mother’s favorite singer, Dolly Parton, had been married for over 50 years. Alex and Bennie were going to do the same thing, no matter how famous Bennie got. Ella’s last argument had crossed the line with Alex. He loved his mother very much, but she saw him as a helpless cripple who would always need care and support, would never be able to live independently on his own. Bernadette was never the most reliable person, so who was going to take care of Alex while Bennie was off frittering her life away on a wild goose chase of fame? His mom assumed he was always going to live at home until his parents could no longer care for him, then he’d move into an assisted living facility. She had no faith in his ability to care for himself, and that burned. Alex held his hurt and anger in, but refused his mother’s help even more than he already had. She thought she had to sacrifice her life to take care of her now-disabled son, and refused to entertain the idea Alex could take care of himself, by himself. Alex held his silence. He hated fighting with his parents, and his mom brushed aside his arguments. His dad never listened, never intervened. Dad just kissed his forehead, patted his shoulder with a “Talk to your mom about it, sport.” then headed off to work or plunked himself down in a chair and buried his face in a newspaper or the television. Being trapped all day every day in the house with his mom brought the tension bubbling to the surface. Ella and Alex skated around it. Talking about it would only end in arguments and shouting. Neither wanted that, so they continued on with Ella trying to baby Alex, and Alex resistant every step of the way. Ella’s latest tactic to break up Alex and Bernadette was to introduce her son to other girls. Any and every single girl around his age or a little older. She asked her friends and friends of friends. So far she’d only been able to turn up a hand full, but she still kept trying. She wasn’t picky; it would just be casual dating after all. In her eyes, her son was too young and still adjusting to life after his accident. “You’re doing it again, Mom.” Alex hugged Count Snuggly von Snuffles the IV tight like the little stuffed bear was a shield for his emotions. Ella’s smile faltered under Alex’s blank stare. “Doing what? Me, the dog, and Bernadette are the only people you’ve talked to in over a month. You haven’t seen your old basketball friends since you came home from the hospital. It’s not healthy, Alex. I’m just trying to help you expand your social horizons. Cathy is a very nice young lady. I think you’ll like her a lot. She’s the daughter of one of your dad’s golfing buddies.” His pink lips puckered in a sour scowl. “I’m not dating her.” Ella’s laugh sounded forced as she went over to Alex’s desk and opened his mint green laptop, turning it on. “Who said anything about dating? I really don’t know where you get these wild ideas from. Probably from hanging out with Bernadette so much. Her head is always in the clouds. It won’t hurt to just talk with Cathy. Maybe you’ll make a new friend? She’s been stuck in the house just like you. What else are you going to do?” Alex puffed his cheeks out, ready to scream. If he pointed out his mother only kept introducing him to single girls his age, she would just brush it off as him reading too much into things and being overly paranoid. He’d rather do anything than meet yet another girl. “Study.” “At breakfast you told me you were ahead, so you can take a little break and chat with Cathy. Same goes for reading or watching a movie.” “I was gonna take Sarge into the backyard for some fetch.” Alex rubbed Snuggly’s soft blue fur, trying to stay calm. “He’s sleeping now. You can do that after lunch. Speaking of that, how about some grilled Islay’s barbeque chipped ham and cheese sandwiches with potato chips? I got your favorite sweet onion chips. Last bag at the store.” Ella opened his laptop and clicked on his video chat software. “Fine.” Alex clenched his teeth. His mom only did these things because she cared about him and worried for him. But at eighteen, he was a grown up. He was graduating highschool soon. She needed to listen to him, not bulldoze right over him like she did his father. He didn’t know how to get her to listen. Starting a fight with her would only cause more problems, make her double down instead of opening up. “Cathy likes potato chips, too. Won’t you just talk to her, for a little bit? Please? For your Mommy?” Ella turned around to stare down at her son with pleading eyes. “Fine. Just for a little bit. And this is the last time.” Alex sighed, burying his face in Snuggly’s belly so he didn’t have to look at his mother. Ella beamed. “I know you didn’t hit it off with the other girls. But I’ve got a good feeling about Cathy. Just as friends, of course!” She hummed to herself as she fussed with Alex’s hair, running her fingers through the blonde locks. “Mom!” Alex squirmed and ducked. His diaper rustled loudly. “What? I’m just trying to fix your hair. You never get a chance to redo a first impression.” Alex growled and smacked his mother’s hands with Snuggly. The soft plush didn’t hurt, but it made her take a step back with her hands raised up. “Okay, okay. Grumpy pants.” He smiled and hugged Count Snuggly to his chest. “Anyway, I’m glad you said yes, sweetie. Because I talked to Cathy’s mom and Cathy is waiting for you to call. I got her screenname and everything. It’s all set up, so you just have to talk and have fun. Making a new friend.” Ella went behind Alex’s wheelchair and pushed him to his desk. He jumped when his chair suddenly rolled forward. “Mom!” He hated being manhandled like that, even by his mother. She was the only one who dared. The only time Bennie pushed him was when he asked her to, usually through non-verbal communication. They’d been so close all their lives they could practically read each other’s minds. He hated asking for help, and Bennie always just seemed to know, to sense, when he needed it. When his arms got tired on a long outing, or when his diaper needed changed. She’d give him a questioning look; he’d nod, then she’d take care of it. Ella just assumed and plunged full steam ahead like a runaway train that would not be stopped. “What? Did I scare you? Sorry, sweetheart.” Ella kissed the top of Alex’s head in apology. He clenched his fingers in Snuggly’s blue fur. “Tell me if you’re going to push me. I don’t like being moved like that.” Someone moving him like that made him feel vulnerable and violated, his personal space invaded. His wheelchair was a part of him. “I said I’m sorry. Geeze. You really are grumpy. Maybe you needed a longer nap. Does your diaper need changed?” “Mother!” His cheeks turned pink in frustration as his temper rose. “I can take care of my own diapers.” “Like this morning?” Ella stood to her full height, towering above her son, hands on her hips. Alex winced. “Maybe I worry too much and go overboard. Sorry if I do. I try not to. But you’re my son. I can’t help it. It’s what mothers do. My instinct is to shield you from the world and protect you. I know you’re growing up and I need to start letting go. But after-” She bit her lip, glancing at his wheelchair. Alex felt his face grow hot. She sighed, deflating. Her shoulders sagged. “But after. It’s just a little harder for me. I know it’s hard for you, too. I’ll try a little harder if you’ll try to be patient with me. I love you.” Alex wanted to bash his head off the desk. She completely missed his point. He sometimes wondered if she did it on purpose. He sighed. “I love you too.” She held out her arms, and he relented, allowing her to hug him. She bent down, her arms slipping around his slender waist. He closed his eyes as their bodies pressed together. Her sweater was soft under his cheek, and he could smell her perfume. It was his dad’s favorite scent. “So, how’s that diaper?” His mom whispered in his ear. “Just a little damp. I changed when I woke up.” “Do you want a dry one for meeting Cathy?” “Why waste a diaper? They’re expensive.” He shook his head and squirmed, diaper rustling. Ella took the cue and stood up. “Alright. I’ll leave you to it. Just press the button on the screen and you’re all set to go.” She headed to the door then paused, one hand on the wooden frame. “And baby? You might want to put your bear down.” She smiled over her shoulder then headed to the kitchen to make lunch for herself and her son. Alex stuck his tongue out in a moment of childish defiance then turned to his laptop. “You’re staying with me.” He told Snuggly then opened up the video chat with a reluctant click.