Incontinent-Desires

It should be known that when you are in camera, you are a bit different than in vivo. For one thing, you are on the spot and feel the need to be quick about your answer so you do not take as much time to figure things out. And you are nervous to boot unless you have the training to avoid that. Watch any blooper reel where an actor flubs the line. It's the famous "humma humma humina" Jackie Gleason routine Beyond that, if you are over 45,  and you took any of your high school exams, what do you think are the odds that you wiould pass it Also, the number of weeks in a year: Why do you think I use "25/7/52" instead of "24/7/365"? 24 hours in a day/7 days in a week/52 weeks in a year"

Hey everyone! This chapter now marks the over halfway point in this much shorter story than I usually put out here. After this, there are in fact only two more chapters, so just sit back and enjoy the ride. As I noted previously, the next chapters should be out sometime this week (likely Tuesday and Thursday at this point), so keep a lookout for when they do. Next, as a reminder, there is currently a vote going for the next story I write. It will be done after my break at some point, but due to the short nature of this story, the timing for this vote will be short. As usual, if no one votes or there is a tie, I will use my discretion over what story is next (though in the event of a tie and there are several attributing votes, I may extend the vote and decide after my break). For now, though, this vote will end when I post my final chapter next Thursday at the latest. Further details about the specific date will come in subsequent chapters, but for those wanting to participate and haven’t read about them previously, the potential story options are located in the beginning of chapter 2. Finally, and back to this tale, I hope everyone enjoys the next chapter of this story! Chapter 4: A Growing Unease The clock ticked by, and just to be sure, I even checked my own watch. ‘Nope. Reception area clock shows nearly the same time as my watch…’ Becky and Avery were both now five minutes late. Not very long mind you, but Avery, Becky’s caregiver, was one of the most punctual people I had ever met. It served him well as a small business owner and in the several months I had seen Becky, they had never been late once. Considering that they were also just returning from a last-minute trip away and I hadn’t seen them in two weeks… my mind quickly bounced to the worst-case scenarios. Still thinking about the disappearance of Dr. Belamy and having just seen Austin, I flashed to several news stories of Littles, and even their Bigs, that had been kidnapped and taken far away. The Bigs would be drugged and set loose in the wilderness in a different country or in the most remote region they could find while the Little would be regressed and sold off to the highest caregiver, scientist, or illegal breeder available. It was now six minutes past the hour. “I’m sure they’ll be here soon, Dr. Mengell,” Carol tried to comfort me after a few more minutes, clearly seeing my pacing back and forth and my continued watch over the clocks nearby me. I smiled over her reassurance and quickly nodded my head to the Middle. “Right, right. You’re right, Carol. I shouldn’t be worried. Austin running late is no big deal… especially what?” I looked back at the clock. “Yeah… ten, no, eleven minutes late is not an issue, right? I mean, for them at least?” Carol sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not sure, Doctor. I’m just as in the dark as you as to where they are and if they’re okay. I mean, do you think…?” she started, but then stopped as we both heard the door downstairs open and quickly slam shut. “You know… that’s probably them now.” Of course, she was absolutely right and less than a minute later, both hurried inside the reception area. It could have just been the stress from coming back from their trip together, but the usual neat and tidy appearance of both, or as much as Becky could manage given her younger mindset, was now in disarray. “Sorry, sorry,” Avery practically panted as he closed the door behind him, having to reshuffle around just to keep the diaper bag slung over his shoulders from falling off. “Sorry we’re late. We were… delayed.” I then stepped forward and smiled sympathetically at both of them. “It’s okay, Avery. I was getting a little worried, but now you’re both here.” I looked down briefly at Becky and the usually bright and even mischievous and rambunctious Little now seemed like she could blow over with a stiff breeze. Curious, as Avery dropped the diaper bag in one of the seats, I questioned him. “Uh, is everything okay, Avery? I know it might just be the stress of coming back and all, but you two seem a little… stressed.” Avery sighed and nodded. “To be honest, Doc, we are. It’s been a few tough weeks, but I’ll let Becky explain it more to you herself if she’s up to it.” I looked back down at the fidgeting and nervous Little and was curious if she actually would be willing at all. Still, I knew I needed to assuage her nerves at least a little bit for now. “It’s okay, Becky. I’m not upset that you were late today, and this is a safe place, remember?” She hesitated but then slowly nodded. “Good. How about you take a seat and I’ll be right in, okay?” Again, Becky just nodded and almost jittered the whole way as she toddled into my office. I then looked back at Avery. “Don’t worry. I’m sure everything will be okay. Tough weeks can be difficult to deal with, but I’ll see what she has to say, and we can go from there.” He grimly smiled back at me and nodded. “Thank you, Doc. It’s all just been… a lot, but you’re a real lifesaver.” I quickly thanked him, made sure he was comfortable waiting, and then joined Becky in my office before sitting down and taking out her file and my pad of paper. Despite the normalcy of their visits now, and the open communication that I thought we shared with each other, I could see that both were holding something back that they weren’t fully telling me about other than just a casual mention of a ‘tough week.’ It made me nervous, but to combat whatever was going on with them, I made a plan to see Becky first and then in all likelihood, actually see Avery today as well to get to the bottom of what I was seeing. For now, though, I refocused on the fidgeting and almost frightened looking Little in front of me. I was looking forward to our visit, because of all my Littles, I actually felt she was the most comfortable being a Little now and was almost ready to switch to an every-other-week session instead. Looking at her now though, I wasn’t feeling as confident in that notion. Still, like all my other patients, I opened her file and began to read. *              *              * Patient Name: Becky Ryman Biological Age: 24 Years old Estimated Mental Age: Elementary school age or younger depending on emotional state Former Occupation: Fashion designer at local boutique Current Occupation: Little of Avery but assists in his small business of toy repair Regression Initiated: 237 days ago Notes: Patient was admitted to me through a favor to Officer Kenny as promised in our mutual agreement with each other. Patient has fully accepted her ‘Daddy’ figure Avery, into her life now after initial first several weeks of rejecting him initially. I suspect this is largely due to the fact that her mental and physical regressions have caused her to realize she needs help in most aspects of life now and is now more comfortable in her mostly stabilized life and Little age. I also suspect her pairing with his small business of toy repair has allowed her some independence and grasp of her former career as a fashion designer. Due to exceeding expectations of her care on most fronts, I may refer Patient to another Little therapist or see progressively less if deemed acceptable in future visits. *              *              * I sighed as I read my previous last line. Becky was leveling out around a two-year-old in several of her physical and emotional skills, but her mind had only regressed back to an elementary school age. Independence was out of the question still, but through our work and her pairing with Avery, she was able to make great strides in accepting her new life. Still, seeing her today, I felt like we were starting all over again in several aspects. Her fidgeting, mumbling, and even her sad eyes and shy self around me was just how I remembered her when she first came to see me after being recommended by Officer Kenny. Her local boutique store was on his usual route, and he noticed her having difficulty as the week progressed, until finally, she broke down into tears in front of him. I saw her the next day and I had been with her ever since. Our work together was tough but fair, and I began to see her smile with increasing regularity each time she came back. New regression symptoms always were tough, like when she first began to wear diapers again, but we had conquered them together. Now, I felt something new was very wrong, but I just wasn’t sure what… yet. “So, Becky… I heard from Avery that it’s been a few tough weeks. Do you feel up to telling me about that?” Becky only squirmed and even whimpered a little. Clearly, she wasn’t ready for that yet, so I decided on going a different route for the time being. “Okay, how about your trip? Do you remember where you went?” Becky was hesitant at first, but finally stopped ringing her hands and rocking back and forth on the couch. “We wen’ ta Gaule…” I knew that, but I needed to start somewhere to get her to open up to me today. “Oh, that sounds lovely. Did you go to Lutetia and see the Koechlin Tower maybe?” I asked, still hoping I would be able to make it there and the rest of the country myself this year with Vincent. I knew his punishment status would make that difficult, but with the country’s history, beaches, culture, food, and being a safe haven for so many Littles, I knew it was a sure bet that we both would enjoy. Becky nodded. “Uh-huh. Daddy pu’ me on his shoulduhs a wot… ih’ was fun, buh’…” she then quickly trailed off and sirens began to go off in my head. As I had thought for Vincent, Gaule was a more pro-Little country and most tourists from Libertalia went there these days to get away from the more pro-Big elements forming lately. Change was in the air around here in most of Libertalia, but for a lot of people, it wasn’t coming fast enough to protect the Littles already here. As such, my mind quickly leapt to the idea that maybe their trip had been so sudden for a good reason… a reason that would make both so secretive. Curious about this, but not wanting to get Avery or Becky into any trouble, I knew I was going to have to go about my questioning very carefully. The fact that they had returned was a good sign, but their nervousness was not however, if the scenario in my head actually had occurred to one degree or another. “So, Becky, would you say that you were happy after our appointment two weeks ago?” I already knew the answer, but I just wanted to confirm it. As I suspected, Becky’s face lit up. “Oh, yeah! Ih’ was so gweat! Timmy didn’ wan’ to pull my hair anymo’ aftuh I dih’ wha’ you told me to!” “I’m very glad to hear that, Becky.” Timmy had been pulling her hair for over a week before then but had always made sure to do it while no one was watching. It was a classic transference over to Becky of his own recent failures as being a mature Little, having just lost his potty privileges there the week before. Feeling insecure, I knew he had looked for an easy target to vent his frustrations onto. It was all classic for the bully type, but through my talks with Becky, we discovered he almost always pulled her hair after she had done something mature herself. So, we laid a trap if he did it again. She had exhausted all my normal suggestions, such as talking to him, walking away, etcetera, but he persisted, so she had clearly initiated the next step. “Because he got caught by Miss Abernathy?” Becky quickly nodded her head. “Uh-huh! I did weally well in da pickup game to cwean up da woom. He saw an’ waited, buh’ den I wan away an’ he followed, dough ih was wigh whewe Miss A coul’ see him when he pulled my hair. He gah’ sen’ to da naughee seat aftuh dat.” I hated to smile over another Little getting punished, but I was happy that Becky had achieved the success she did, so, I knew it wasn’t Wednesday at least that something had gone wrong. “I’m very proud of you, Becky. You tried everything else, but when he kept going, you just made sure that Miss Abernathy would see and punish him herself. I’m sure Avery was really proud of you for doing that as well.” “Uh-huh!” she confirmed. “We wen’ ou’ ta geh’ ice cweam latuh.” “That’s wonderful! Did you go to Spencer’s Treat shop then?” Becky nodded gleefully, so I knew it wasn’t Wednesday night either. Receiving a cancellation phone call from Avery on Friday morning, that only left Thursday. “So, did you help your daddy on Thursday in the shop?” For the first time since I had started this new way of figuring out what was wrong, Becky hesitated, and her smile fell away completely. Seeing that I was on the right track at least now, I looked back at my previous notes. “Uh, let’s see… you said last time that you were fixing up a… Cassie doll. Were you able to finish her?” Fortunately, Becky nodded. “Her dwess wen’ back togethuh so nicewy. Lotsa pwetty woses an’ fwom abou’ ten yeaws ago. I was vewy pwoud of ih. Even made anothuh dwess as a supwise fo’ her.” I loved it when she talked about fashion in our sessions. It had always been her true passion, which is why she had her own boutique store downtown before she was regressed. Unable to keep focused with the books though, I had convinced her to shut it down and after were some of her toughest days. Fortunately, Avery entered her life not long after, and while the two bickered and couldn’t find the line of their newfound relationship between independence and needing help, they eventually found a rhythm and I convinced Avery to get her to start working at his small business of fixing toys. Small tasks at first, but he quickly could see that her valuable sewing skills were still there. She took longer than she used to, but by now, she had fixed likely hundreds of ripped toys and dolls’ dresses. It had helped her transition immensely, so thinking back, I was curious why she hesitated at first to talk about it. It gave me another idea to narrow the timeline even further. “That sounds like you did a wonderful job, as always.” Beckly blushed a little at the compliment. “So, it seems like you finished with her. Any new projects after her then?” Becky smiled broadly. “Oh yeah! I gotta Miss Pink teddy dat day an’ wen wigh to wowk on fixin’ da back seam. Wiff aww da ewectonics and weird stuff Daddy had ta hewp me wiff, ih took fowevuh!” “I’m sure it did, but I’m also sure her owner really loved it when you finished her that day,” I partially fibbed to her. I knew she hadn’t finished it, based on the other projects like it in the past she had talked about, but I was hoping she was going to walk right into her story and narrow my timeline even further to that night. She shook her head. “No, no. Ih was too compwicated aftuh da Cassie doll, an’ Daddy said we had ta go, an’ den…” Her face immediately clouded and her previously outspoken and even shining body posture retreated into itself like she had when she first walked in today. ‘Got it.’ I didn’t like that she had retreated into herself again, but I was glad that I finally narrowed down the timeline to some point on Thursday afternoon. If something bad did happen, and Becky and Avery somehow ‘disappeared,’ I could always now point Officer Kenny to the right timeline to look back at as a lead to follow up on. “Becky…” I began slowly, “what happened after you were working on Miss Pink? Did something happen to your daddy? To Avery?” Becky hesitated but ultimately shook her head, but she did it in a way that made me think that she had fibbed, and something had happened to him, but that something happening to him wasn’t the whole story either. “Hmmm… I noticed your shop was closed last week. It was all shuttered up, so was Mrs. Tisdale on vacation as well?” Becky looked up at me with wide eyes, and I could tell she knew I was onto her previous fib. Mrs. Tisdale was an elderly Middle who often came in and worked on touch-up work with many of the toys, ranging from paint to polishing. Nearly retired but deriving true joy from her work, I don’t think I had ever heard about a time where she had called off work. “Pwease… I don’ wanna tawk abou’ ih…” Beckly pleaded with me. That was usually my signal to stop poking, but I felt that Becky was about to tell me something important and that even her and Avery’s safety could have been in jeopardy. So, I pushed a bit further. “I know you’re scared, Becky, and it’s okay to be.” I briefly wondered where her stuffed clownfish was, but I knew other things were more important for the moment. “Please talk to me though, Becky. It will be okay. I just…” “No ih won’!” she cried back at me before breaking down and heaving into her pulled up knees on the couch. I knew I had hit a button, but now that I had, I had to ease her out of where she was at and still find out if she was going to be okay after she left here today. “Shh, shh,” I tried to calm her. “It’s okay, Becky. Whatever happened, I’m sure you’re not at fault and that it will work itself out.” “Buh’ ih is my faul’…” she dropped her knees and sniffled for a moment. “I was thwowin’ my twash away an’ I lef’ da back doow open… den he walked in…” Her story had just taken the turn I had been waiting for all this time, but I still wasn’t fully prepared for it. “Who, Becky? Who walked in?” Becky shook her head. “I dunno! He jus’ stawted yellin’ at Daddy an’ me in da shop. Daddy pwotected me, buh’ da man stawted thowin’ dings. Daddy den showed da camewas an’ da man wan off. Mrs. Tisdale was dere as well an’ she hugged me while Daddy den wan off too.” “He ran off?” I asked skeptically about Avery. I knew there had to be something to it because he truly loved Becky by now and there was no way he would ever leave her, even if Mrs. Tisdale was there. “Did he chase after the bad man?” “Uh-huh, buh’ he didn’ catch ‘em…” I could see the pain from that night was still fresh, but I also wondered if that was all that had happened. I knew I was already going to be trying to speak to Avery today as well, so I let that feeling go for the moment. “I’m so sorry about all that, Becky. At least you and your daddy are safe. That’s the important thing.” Becky tearfully nodded and I handed her the tissue box so she could blow her nose. One trumpet blast and some sputtering and wiping later, Becky looked up at me with fear and trepidation. “Can I tell you a secwet if you pwomise nah ta tell?” I really didn’t like promises like that, but from her wavering eyes, I could see that it was important to her. I knew it could be a lie, in case it was a danger to herself, but I ultimately nodded. “Of course, Becky. You know you can tell me anything.” Becky sighed. “I wish I was younguh… as a widdle…” The revelation came as a complete shock to me. In all my time as a therapist, I had never once heard of someone wanting to be younger. Even when I met the occasional Little from Earth who actually wanted this lifestyle, a little regression would come their way, and they would be satisfied with wherever they ended up landing at. So, when Becky revealed her secret, all I could ask was, “And why do you want that, Becky?” Becky began to fidget with her hands again. “I jus’ don’ feel safe anymo’…” she mourned. “Younguh Wittles nevuh geh’ bullied by Bigs. Dey jus’ awe wef’ awone. I wan’ dat… I wanna be safe.” Now her desire made more sense to me. While I hadn’t heard of a Little wanting to be younger before, I had continually heard of their desire to be ‘safe.’ To some extent, every Little I had seen today had wanted that at some point to one degree or another. Becky’s solution was rough and would be messy, but there was a regrettable sliver of truth to her words as well. Being outsiders and often not taken seriously, Littles often told the truth far more than most Bigs would give them credit for. “That must be very challenging, Becky, but do you know what goes into being a younger Little? I mean, as it is already, you’re likely around the two-year old mark with some of your abilities at worst. Any younger though, and you would start to experience some massive changes. Even more than you’ve already experienced.” I quickly thought of my own Vincent back home, likely taking a nap right now after yet another bottle feeding and possible diaper change. I didn’t think Becky would truly want that type of lifestyle. I then saw the notion of being younger truly start to spin around in her head. From her hesitation earlier, I knew she had thought of it before, and probably had felt ashamed of the desire, hence my need to keep a secret, but like most Littles, she was likely only thinking so far ahead. It wasn’t their fault, and many Littles were brilliant beforehand, but regression was a difficult burden to bear and came with several side effects. “Buh’ dey seem so bwisful… an’ happy.” She blew again into the tissue she had taken from the box I had given her and now lay beside her on the couch. “Is dat so wong fo’ me ta wan’?” I warmly smiled and shook my head. “Of course not, sweetie, but I want you to really think about it first.” She started to, and I knew I had to plainly present the options to her. “I know some people and they could make you younger, but there’s a lot that goes into it afterward if you really go through with this. For example, you wear diapers now, but if you were younger, you wouldn’t even be able to tell if you were messy or not. It would just be another day for you… even if that meant dirtying your clothes.” I paused for a moment. “Or your sleep as another example…” Now, Becky seemed to really start to get what I was telling her. “You don’t like naps, but if you were mentally younger, you would be sleeping a lot more.” Her eyes filled with horror. It was almost cute, but I knew I needed to add one final push to help her in this case. “Plus, if you were younger… you might have the physical abilities to sew, but you wouldn’t have the mental ability to do it anymore. If anything, you might just stick the fabric in your mouth, or worse, the needle itself. I don’t think Avery would let you fix toys anymore… it would only be to play with them, and even then, depending on how young you were, that might not even be guaranteed.” And that was it. I knew it would be, but her resolve all crumbled at once after my mention of her no longer being able to sew. It wasn’t the fashion path she had once dreamed of, but she now clung onto what she had with every fiber of her being. Sewing being taken away was clearly unacceptable to her… like I knew it would be. “I don’ wanna be younguh!” She blew her nose into the tissue once more. “Buh’ I don’ wanna be scawed! Is dat so bad? Shouldn’ I be safe?” I agreed with her and quickly nodded my head. I was only here to make recommendations to my patients and help them through the hard parts of their lives as much as I could. Regression was certainly one of them, but if Becky really wanted it, I would have just helped her… if that was what she truly wanted. I had a suspicion she didn’t, so I pushed, and now I knew that what she really wanted was simple and yet the desire of every Little in our world. She just wanted to be cared for and to be safe. “Becky… I know it’s a lot to take in. These protestors and pro-Big supporters are really scary, but like Timmy, sometimes, you need to stand up to them and not run away.” I could see that Becky was still trembling over what had happened that day, and again, I felt there was something else, but I just pushed forward. “What you do with Avery… it’s amazing,” I complimented her. I could see Becky’s spirits begin to rise. “You dink so?” I nodded. “I know so. What you do helps so many Littles. In fact, I met with a Little earlier today that held one of the bunny’s you fixed up a few months ago. We talked about a lot of hard things, but because of that bunny, she made it through with a smile on her face in the end.” I smiled back at her and saw that my new information was really striking a chord in her. “If you were younger, you could be safe, but you would likely lose the ability to help other Littles in that way forever.” She began to panic, and I knew I had to give her another option. “Instead, be brave and stick with Avery. He’ll protect you and I’ll make sure to do what I can. I can’t promise you much, but I can promise you that.” Becky thought about my words for a moment and to my relief, she ultimately smiled back at me. “Dank you, Doctuh. It was jus’ so scawy, buh’ you’re wigh’. I can’t jus’ wun away… too many otter Wittles need me who can’t fix dere toys demselves. Dank you…” “You’re very welcome, Becky.” After that, we discussed more of the exciting things that she and Avery did in Gaule together and I was glad that it was the break they needed. Sensing the time ticking on, though, I stood up to go get Avery and to help him as well today, but Becky yawned loudly, so I turned back to her. “You still okay to continue, Becky? We can always stop if you want to.” She even yawned again but despite that, she shook her head. “No… I’m good. I jus’… I weally haven’ been able to nap aftuh dat day da man came in, o’ even since.” I nodded plainly, but as I fetched Avery from outside, my feeling of something else happening that day only intensified. Becky was helpful, but she was ultimately still a Little and was even afraid of the dark, so her fears, while valid, could have just been acting up. Avery though… I knew I could dig into the truth with him of what fully happened later that day. Avery sat down in the spare seat in the room, and I sat back down in my own chair. Becky was looking much better now, but as I looked over the still frazzled Avery, I knew I needed to be concerned as well for him. “So, Avery… Becky told me about the pro-Big supporter that came in and that you chased after. I’ll put in a report to Officer Kenny, and he’ll beef up security in that area, but what I want to know is… what happened next?” Avery nodded and sighed. “He was just so terrible and frightening, but I filed a claim for what he had damaged and went back to work. It was tough but I had to. See, the local hospital, the one by the river, needed a whole shipment of their dolls fixed for their patients and I was already running a day behind.” I nodded, quickly remembering the discounted work he did for them. “That’s a very good cause, Avery, but I feel that something else happened that day. This is Libertalia after all… a pro-Big supporter causing a ruckus isn’t great, but it’s not necessarily a running away to Gaule level threat.” I could immediately feel the tension in Avery’s body language, and I knew I had him cornered and had found my way to a truth of some kind. Again, I didn’t want to push, but going to Gaule so suddenly wasn’t something to be taken lightly. Avery sighed. “You always find the truth… I should’ve known we couldn’t keep it a secret from someone like you…” I wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing in this case, but I was glad that he seemed to be at least willing to discuss what had happened. “Please talk to me Avery. I might be able to help you, but I need you to tell me what went down and why both of you seem so scared still. Think of Becky, Avery.” Avery grimaced over my plea to him, but then looked over to his Little staring back at him with wide eyes. “Pwease, Daddy. Jus’ tell her…” Avery sighed but finally relented. “Very well… how can I say no to my little pumpkin after all?” He smiled at Becky, and she sweetly giggled back at him, but I could see the burden of that day still weighing heavily on his mind. He then turned back to me. “Well, see, Becky and I were able to finish the dolls just in time for the hospital right as it was getting dark…” He winced and I knew we were finally at the moment of truth. “Go on,” I coaxed. Avery nodded and took a deep breath. “We had just gotten back to the shop… just to finish a few orders for the next day, but that’s when we saw it…” “Saw what?” I could already feel myself on the edge of my seat. I no longer felt that Becky or Avery were the perpetrators of a crime, but I felt confident they had witnessed one instead now. Here in Libertalia, depending on what, that might have been even worse though. “We saw a white van parked out behind one of the offices over there,” he recalled. “It was a bit unusual, not recognizing it and all, but then I saw the van rumble about a little bit. The side door then opened, and the back door slammed open from one of the nearby buildings.” My eyes widened in horror as my brain began to put the pieces together of what he was telling me. Two weeks ago… and in an office near to where they worked. I feared I knew the name before he even said it. “Doctor, it was Dr. Belamy. You recommended him to help with some therapies for Becky when she broke her arm after falling off the playground equipment about a month ago. They took him and we saw it.” His words hung in the air and only silence followed. I knew they wouldn’t be to be a comfort to them, and I wished I could, but my head was swimming with all the possibilities of what was happening. Today alone, five Littles had now reported him missing in the past two weeks. Further, Avery had just confirmed that he had been taken out of his office and placed in some strange white van. “Did you see anything else?” I could see the fear in Avery’s eyes, but he nodded. “I saw their uniforms… I’ve seen them enough in the news lately that it was hard to miss, even with that lighting back there.” He then paused and took a deep breath. ‘It was the Otrera Society…” My heart sank as I heard their name. Originally founded by radicalized women after the last pandemic wiped after much of the male population, they were now largely considered the boots-on-the-ground force behind the pro-Big movement. Taking their name from the first Amazon queen, they often specialized in military operations in honor of her strength. As Avery had noted, they had been seen more lately on the news in the wake of kidnappings, protection services for radical politicians, and were even linked to a few assassinations. All rumors for some of their shadier dealings, but seeing them here now in Losantiville, was a bad sign. “Oh no… I’ll have to inform Officer Kenny about this right away.” Avery gulped in likely fear over what was going to happen next, but he still nodded in agreement. Seeing a plan start to form, I still had a few loose ends to tie up. “So, seeing them, I’m guessing they saw you which is why you left the country to Gaule?” “Yes… they saw us. Only for a moment, but you’ve seen the stories…” He sighed. “I didn’t know what to do and I thought if we left for a little while, everything was going to be okay, but we were followed today… that’s why we were late.” Everything was falling apart for them, but cleanly falling into place for me. There were still a lot of questions, but I had just discovered more of what I wanted earlier about the missing doctors, now all confirmed to be the one and only Dr. Belamy. He was a friend, and I feared the worst for him now, especially if the Otrera society was now involved. So, after a little more questioning and consoling the two, I immediately phoned Officer Kenny to inform him of the situation. After a moment and his reassurances over protection and more vigilance in the area, I hung up the phone. “Okay… he’s going to increase his patrols and he’ll put you in contact with the unit currently investigating them in this area. Apparently, someone has been contracting them out for some specialized missions up here for the past month.” “Do you think we even have a chance to get passed all this?” Avery finally asked after sitting in silence and taking all the new information in. “I mean… back to a normal life that is?” I sighed. “I don’t know with that society involved, Avery. I wish I did and could tell you more, but in this case, I would just advise keeping your head down and listening to what the police have to say. Things are probably going to get tough, and I won’t lie there, but I’ll say this…” I then trailed off as I saw the commendation award I had received last year on my wall. I rarely looked at, especially with what happened with the Little later that day when I was basking in my glory, but I also knew it was a symbol of something more. The mayor had given it to me for being a protector and helper of Littles in this city. That told me a lot about it, and I felt a duty swell within me… to the city… to my patients… to my friend. “I don’t know how yet, but I promise you both this… I’m going to find Dr. Belamy and we’re going to work through all this. Together. No matter what.” Avery and Becky both seemed fearful, but for the moment, I could see a spark of hope on each of their faces. It wasn’t much, but I had provided them with some relief, and that was enough for today. Even still, I knew something was brewing outside my office. I had felt uneasy since my involvement with the Juventas incident last year and all the other events that had happened since. I hated coincidence and my uptick in the number of patients I needed to see with their subsequent regressions afterward had always given me a sour taste living in this city. Now, with Dr. Belamy missing and kidnapped himself, I didn’t know what was next, but I knew I had to find out… one way or another.

Yes, being normal is hard at first, then after a while you get the hang of it. (Was that the question?) 😁

Had a Cushies Ultra earlier thoroughly soaked. Now in a Classico V1.

Chapter 2: Pottys are YUCKY! I entered my bedroom and began playing with my dollhouse.  The dollhouse was two stories, and it had a full family.  A mommy, a daddy, a brother, a sister, and a little baby.  I had the mommy and daddy make lunch for the family while baby was sitting in the highchair.  The brother and sister was sitting in the living room, on a toy couch watching TV. All of a sudden, Randy came running into my room and he snatched the baby!  He did the same thing during Christmas in Indiana, and I hated it. Just as Randy was about to run out of my room with the baby from my dollhouse, Jake was standing there, looking annoyed. “Give it back…” he ordered.  “Don’t you have anything better to do than pick on Macy?  Leave her alone!”  Jake took the baby out of Randy’s hand and gave it back to me.  Jake was my hero.  He was my good older brother that was always nice to me and rescuing my dollhouse baby doll was the latest good deed to add to the list. He gave Randy a sly smile.  “If you leave her alone, I’ll let you have dibs on my Nintendo Switch!” Randy gasped.  “Can I play Super Mario Odyssey?” Jake nodded.  “As much as you want.  Just leave her alone.” Randy jumped for joy.  “Yay!” He then turned to me and my dollhouse.  “Sorry Macy.  Didn’t mean to take your doll.  Besides, dolls are for GIRLs anyway…”  He marched out of the room with Jake, excited that he got to play his video game. I continued playing with my doll house for the next few hours, and then thought about today.  Why was it so special?  My mommy told me that it was New Year’s Eve this morning but why was it New Year’s Eve?  All I knew about it was that the grown-ups liked to stay up late and play.  But they always made a lot of noise.  They were not worried about Phoebe, as she could sleep through anything.  I was never bothered by it either.  All I know is that the adults always freak out every time a new year begins.  I never understood why they did that.  Were they afraid of the old year dying?  That created another question that I couldn’t answer.  Should I be afraid of the years dying?  Is there a way of making the years not die and feel better?  My daddy is a surgeon so maybe he could figure out a way to make the years feel better.  Then the adults wouldn’t have to scream when the years die. Just as I was having mommy and daddy prepare dinner in the dollhouse, I began to smell some food that was cooking from downstairs.  My two older brothers were on the third floor, while both I and Phoebe were on the second floor with mommy and daddy.  Even from here, I could smell the food.  As I had my dollhouse mommy put a turkey into the toy oven, I felt a soft pat on my back.  I looked up and it was mommy. “Macy?” My mommy said.  “Me and daddy just made some yummy snacks.  Pigs in a blanket and spinach dip! My face lit up when mommy mentioned pigs in a blanket. I LOVED pigs in a blanket and tried to eat as many of those piggies as possible.  Spinach dip didn’t excite me too much.  While I hated the yucky spinach, I would eat the spinach if it was in spinach dip.  There was just something about the other ingredients that made it more yummy. I left my bedroom, holding my mommy’s hand.  Since I was in a playful mood, I swung our arms around and around.  My mommy cut out my fun after a few seconds of this. “Macy,” My mommy ordered.  “Stop playing with mommy’s hands.  Today isn’t the day to do this…” We walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where various trays of different snacks were sitting on the kitchen island, protected by round marble trivets.  I saw all the yummy pigs in the blanket and got very excited.  I almost reached for one when my mommy yanked my arm back. “Sweetie,” my mommy said.  “Let mommy make you a plate and you can eat them at the table, okay?” I nodded with an anxious sigh.  I then waited for my mommy to prepare a plate of those pigs in the blanket that I was ready to devour.  Mommy let me decide how many I wanted so I waited until there was nine on my paper plate.  There was still plenty more on the tray, so it didn’t worry mommy that much.  She then gave a generous squirt of ketchup on the plate and sat it in the nearby dining room, where a few guests were enjoying their snacks.  Mommy guided me to my seat, which had a booster cushion on a chair so that I could reach the table.  Mommy sat me on the cushion, and I began devouring those piggies.  One little piggy, two little piggies, three little piggies…I kept going until I ate six of them. When I was holding up the seventh one, I was starting to feel full.  My mommy, who was talking to the guests (just a couple of mommy and daddy’s close friends), noticed that I was done and took the plate away from me.  She took the pig in the blanket that I was holding and sat it on the plate. “You didn’t even get to try the spinach dip…” my mommy sighed.  “Maybe you’ll be able to try it later when you’re hungry again.” Daddy and the other adults were playing in another room, leaving both Jake and Randy in the living room, enjoying the Nintendo Switch.  Randy was playing a game of Super Mario Odyssey and Jake was player 2.  Phoebe was sitting in her playpen nearby, mashing different buttons on her music activity table.  She giggled with delight as she heard all the different notes from the mini piano.  I watched my little sister play for a while and occasionally snuck glances at the TV screen to see a little man with a red hat jump all over the place.  That game looked a lot of fun, but since I have never played a video game before, I would have no idea what the buttons would do.  I happily sauntered over to the couch where my two older brothers were playing and glanced at the controller that Randy was holding.  “That looks fun!” I shouted.  “Can I play?” Randy gave me a scowl.  “Really Macy?  You have never played a video game before.” But my good brother Jake jabbed Randy in the arm.  “Just let Macy play for a little while.  You can play again when she’s finished.  How about you see what Phoebe is doing while she’s playing?” My meanie brother let out a deep sigh and sat his controller down.  In frustration, he stomped his feet all the way over to where Phoebe was still in her playpen, enjoying her toys. Jake then changed some things on the menu to make it one player and handed me the black controller after he unpaused the game. “Here Macy.  I will watch you play.  Have fun!” I clutched the controller in my hand and moved the stick around.  This made the little man in blue overalls walk around in different directions.  After that, I pressed all the different buttons.  One made him throw his red cap.  Another button made him jump.  He made a funny sound every time he jumped so I kept pressing the jump button over and over and over.  It was so funny to hear the man make all these funny noises, so this made me giggle a whole lot. Randy turned his face from watching Phoebe and grinned at me.  “Macy, you better not laugh too hard, or you’ll pee yourself.” At this, I gasped.  I caught myself in mid-giggle as I felt a couple drops of pee touch my underwear.  But I clenched in my bladder muscles and ran to the nearest bathroom, which was by the living room.  I closed the door and climbed up the step stool and onto my Baby Minnie Mouse soft toilet seat that sat on top of the regular toilet seat.  I pulled my pants down and unclenched my bladder muscles.  All of the pee that would’ve come out from my laughter immediately emptied into the toilet.  That was a close call.  As mean as my older brother Randy was, he was right.  Just a couple of weeks after my fourth birthday, my grandparents came to visit.  In the living room, my grandpa sat on the floor and placed me in his lap.  He then began tickling my belly.  I began to giggle.  Then, he began to tickle me in my most ticklish spot: my feet.  As he tickled away at my feet, I began to giggle so hard that I peed myself.  Since I was wearing a skirt, I ended up peeing all over grandpa’s lap.  Despite how embarrassing it was, my grandpa took it like a good sport. I got up from the Baby Minnie Mouse soft toilet seat and glanced at all the yellow that was in the toilet.  But then I noticed all the streaks of brown that were caked all around the inside of the toilet bowl.  I stuck my tongue out in disgust.  I just finished peeing in THAT?  I used some toilet paper to wipe my area and cautiously dropped it into the icky toilet.  I carefully grabbed the handle and flushed the toilet.  “Pottys are YUCKY!” I shouted.  Then a terrifying thought filled my mind.  If pottys are yucky, then wouldn’t the one upstairs also be yucky?  If pottys were this gross, then I never wanted to use another potty again.  Just the thought of sitting on a disgusting potty seat now made me afraid. I glanced down to inspect my Anna and Elsa Frozen underwear.  Because I nearly peed myself in the living room, I noticed a few wet spots on my underwear.  Each wet spot was about the size of an M&M.  Then another thought haunted me.  If I can’t use the potty anymore, then I can’t have any more M&M’s… But then a sudden realization hit me that made me gasp.  If I couldn’t use the potty anymore, then the only other place that I could go would be in my diaper.  But my mommy only puts me in diapers at night!  This meant that I would have to hold it in until it was time for bed.  Mommy would then put the diaper on me, and I would be good to go. I got up on another stool and washed my hands.  When I returned to the living room, I decided not to play any more of the video game as that little man’s funny noises would make me laugh again, and I could have another accident. Both Randy and Jake were playing when I got back.  When Randy saw me approach the couch, he sighed. “Macy, do you want to play again?” he sighed. I shook my head.  “No!  I wanna watch!” I watched my two older brothers play their game and then glanced over at the playpen.  Phoebe was gone.  I’m guessing that my mommy must have gotten her ready for bed early. All of a sudden, mommy entered the room. “Macy!” my mommy smiled.  “There you are!  Are you a little hungry?  Let’s get some spinach dip and something to drink before I get you ready for bed.  Okay?” I nodded and walked with mommy into the kitchen.  She prepared a small plate of spinach dip with just three crackers.  I scooped the spinach dip into the crackers and ate all three.  It was good, but not nearly as good as the pigs in the blanket I had earlier. While I was sitting in my booster cushion, mommy sat down a princess Belle cup full of milk.  I drank the whole cup in a few gulps and let out a contented sigh.  “Ah…” I sighed in a quiet whisper. My mommy then led me upstairs to get me ready for bed.  Mommy guided my hands up and down as she helped me brush my teeth.  After that, she undressed me and herself and we took a shower.  As we showered, she bathed me, named all the parts that I needed to wash so that I could shower myself someday.  Her goal was for me to bathe myself by my fifth birthday. After the shower, she dried me off and we went to my bedroom.  I glanced at the open sack of Size 3 Pampers Swaddlers Overnights diapers, hoping that my mommy would notice the open sack and put me in a new diaper.  Instead, my mommy had a glazed look on her face.  She ran into the bathroom and got the Anna and Elsa frozen underwear that I wore that day.  Fortunately, all the spots of pee were dry, so she didn’t notice them. But she began to guide my feet through the underwear, and she pulled them up to my waist.  This was something that I could’ve done myself, but my mommy was doing it for me.  She then got out my polyester Minnie Mouse footed blanket sleeper.  It was hot pink with red, white, and baby pink polka dots.  Minnie Mouse was hanging out on the right side just below the right armpit.  My mommy zipped me up in the sleeper and then snapped the oblong baby pink safety flap at the top near the collar to keep the zipper down and in place.  She then placed me in my bed and sloppily tucked me in.  She then gave me a quick kiss good night and staggered forward before making slow paces out of my bedroom.   She slowly but firmly closed the door. I glanced down at my abdomen and gasped.  My mommy didn’t do it.  She didn’t put me in my diaper like she was supposed to.  Why did she forget?  Mommy always remembered to put a diaper on me every night.  Since I was born, I have never once at night gone to bed without wearing a diaper.  What am I going to do?  While I knew how to dress myself.  I have never tried to put a diaper on myself before.  And while I could easily unzip my footed sleeper, I would have great difficulty in trying to get it back on.  While the zipper would be easy, I could never get the unzipped sleeper on properly. But then I felt extremely tired.  My eyelids squinted and I fell asleep. “10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” The grown-up’s New Year’s countdown to zero like last year once again woke me up.  But all of a sudden, I felt sopping wet.  I sat up, pulled back the bed sheets, and gasped. Where I was laying, a large wet spot was in the center of the bed.  Then I felt my abdomen and gasped.  My mommy forgot to put a diaper on me and as a result, I wet the bed.  Now I have wet my bed before when my diaper leaked, but that doesn’t happen very often. I sat back down in my pee-soaked bed and suddenly remembered the yucky potties that sent chills up my spine.  With such a horrible accident like this, I didn’t want to wear my underwear anymore.  This gave me an idea.  If I kept peeing and pooping in my underwear, perhaps mommy would put me back in diapers again.  This happened before during my potty training, so I think that I’ll try it again.  I unsnapped the safety flap that guarded the zipper at the collar and then unzipped my footed sleeper.  I glanced down at my Anna and Elsa Frozen underwear that I could see because of the faint glow that came from the night light.  Both Anna and Elsa were soaked because I “let it go, let it go”.  I took a good look at my big girl underwear because I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was done wearing them.  No more pottys.  They’re gross.  They’re icky.  They’re yucky.  They’re scary.  Pottys are yucky, but diapers are better.  I wanted my diapers again, but this time, I wanted them for good.