Do I'll go further this time

[stephrider]

Hi,

I've tried to be IC third now since November 2012. This time now, I want to go further and to reach the goal of OAB.

What I can learn about my attempts is there is a time after several weeks of wearing that I want to quit diapers, it begin by the boring to wear and few days after the conviction to quit them. Also I've experienced a sored cystoscopy and a UTI, I should say all sored experiences make me weaker a lead me toward the defeat.

The more I've wore 24/7 is 3 months in last summer.

[Dill_Pickle]

Stephrider:

[stephrider]

Hi, yes I meant painul. Some traductions I use are not very accurate, thank you for your note.

Yes I know this cycle, 15 years ago when I begun I was only AB. I remenber I put all my stuff in the garbage too but now I have no issue with this any more. I have no exitement when I wear them I' m simply better in my mind like I should be happy... I'm feeling of well-being.

Now I want to keep this sensation ever if be ic means also a lot of disadvantages like leaking, changing anywhere anytime, heat in summer, planning everything... etc.

I know deep in my mind I need to be incontinent.

However, during the journey I know it's not all roses, it's why I'm asking for support to be conscious to how to keep me focused on the ic goal.

[Dill_Pickle]

I have had a few UTIs, but avoided a cystoscopy, as I always knew the cause, doing something foolish with myself, like holding the urethra closed or putting something into the urethra that was not as clean as I thought. How did you ger your UTI and cystoscopy? There's a story there I am curious about.

Anyway, do you have your protection on today? Have you explored alternatives, particularly external catheters? Do you do any kind of meditation or guided imagery CDs? I use www.healthjourneys.com and like belleruth naperstek, but I don't recall anything in your native (I assume) French, I have the one for depression. I think these might improve your state of mind substantially -- nothing wrong with sending yourself powerful signals to be well by taking care of yourself.

[Spargano]

As Dill_Pickle nicely stated, it would be nice to get more details,

[Dill_Pickle]

Spargano:

Excellent.

[stephrider]

Thank everybody,

Dill_pickle, I had a cystoscopy because I had simulated an incontinence for my familly and that the process I have chose, that means a had done several examinations. The UTI was the cause of a bad cleaning with wipes, in fact I have put into my penis a bateria from my bowel.

Yes, I still wear diapers I feel well into. For meditation cd's I haven't tried it, but I have tried hypnotis files however I am still not sure that work with me and the foreign langage should keep my concience active. Even if I understand all of the speaker says, I think this is not good to relax entirely. Perhaps I'm should find one sample in my native language at less to make some relaxation.

Hi spargano, thank for your comment and encouragements. I'm pretty sure that I need to become incontinent but I suggest to keep here a diary weekly or biweekly and we will see if it's really what I need.

Then now maybe I have to find an apps for my phone (android) or keep a diary with the most important keys.

What I should take care in this one? Mind, wetting (days & nights), changes, day type, meditation, ...

Steph

[stephrider]

First update

I'm back to the journey since a week now. I wear 4 diapers a day withs plastic pants, I get up the night every 1h40 for empting my bladder. I think that help to shrink. During the day, I try to triggering the wetting by using my abdominal muscles, I do that often as possible then I pee every hours. When my bladder will be more shrinked I will use not any more this method and I will try to be relaxed as some as possible.

Even if I try to be discrete, no one has noticed my bulk at engineering school. Just some people of my familly know I wear diaper and the person with who I can the flat during my school's periods.

I have made an Excel sheet to follow my progress easily , I fill in cells my liquid drops and it return me some data like maximun or average delay between drops, the average quantity feeled for both the day and the night. I aslo fill my motivation and the feel of relaxation in a scale from 1 to 5.I can link a copy if somebody is interessed.

I'm still focused and motivated even if it's just a new start for the moment

Other point, I'm asking myself what the best clothe, plastic pants or onesie. For with case do you use them?

Steph

[Dill_Pickle]

Cher Steph:

Onesies are great for keeping heavy diapers around your middle instead of your ankles!

PUL (Polyurethane Laminate) pants are the best,

[stephrider]

Hi,

I have chose to wear onesie to be discreate when I bend to keep hiden the diaper in my back. I have chose plastic pants xhn I want to be condident about leaks, I wear them especially at work. Yesterday it was the first bbq of. The year at my neighbors, for being confident and discreate I have chose to wear onesie over a PUL pants.

I don't wear clothe diaper... Perhaps I will wear some in the future.

I have noticed that I have some difficulties to release when I should be active like discussions or any other activities and when I am sit. Also be fully relaxed is not easy, does hypnosis files might be useful? I know only warpmymind but any file works on me however I have felt that relax me.

I continue to fill all my wetting in a file, I will see later if this is really useful or not.teph

[Dill_Pickle]

Steph:

Some find hypnosis useful, others not, but I have never heard of it harming anyone.