Diaper References

Hey everyone! I’m going to try to post another chapter tomorrow to ensure the final three after this will be posted before I leave on vacation, but we will see. If not tomorrow, I am determined for Monday and Tuesday to be the posted double days. Either way, you will know soon. Looking ahead… there is another poll out for what I next write. The three options can be found back in chapter 14, and the link can be found back in both chapter 14 and 20. And just in case you forgot my method or are new here, this poll will remain open until I post my final chapter. When that will be exactly will be posted at the latest during the second to last chapter. Now… last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 23: We Treat Littles the Way We Do for a Reason Addy’s vision came in and out. Flashes of blue and red… and there was crying. From her left… then right… then overhead. She felt something soft hold her hand… and then be pulled away. In and out… in and out. She could feel a warm trickle of something on her forehead. In her limited movement, she touched it. She winced. Some blurry images held her back and shook their heads. Addy felt they were saying something but couldn’t quite make it out. A sharp stinging to her arm and the world darkened once more. Addy… drifting around, not fully sure where or even where she was, began to mumble as the darkness took her. “Mom… mom… mom, please…” *              *              * “Mom, please… let me help you with your luggage,” Addy implored as she pulled up to airport to drop her off after yet another visit to her on campus. “Even with all those fancy new Juventas drugs in you now, your heart attack was only a few weeks ago. Can’t even believe you still chose to travel…” “Honey…” Dr. Pepperidge sighed as she hauled her smaller suitcase from her daughter’s trunk. “I appreciate your concern, but the doctors did clear me for this trip. And besides… it was only a minor heart attack. Nothing a few modern-day miracles couldn’t cure. I’m fine… I promise, honey.” Addy was less than convinced. She knew her mom, and more importantly in this case, her work ethic. Like her dad, she was a tireless worker, especially when it came to something she truly cared about. Lately, that had been the stabilization of the expanded areas of Psyche into a national and recognized company within Juventas… proud and strong even without their forward support anymore aside from a few admin and financial aspects. Plus, with the Little laws still looming on the horizon but not yet implemented yet, many Bigs were taking advantage of Littles at faster than ever rates before they more limited in what they could do and how many they could do it to at one time. It was barbaric nationwide, but needless to say, for Littles hoping to escape such injustice and still wanting to come over here and be cured of something… Psyche had become ever popular with each passing month it seemed. By the end of next year, Addy had overheard that Psyche would be in over 30 states nationwide. “Just… promise me that you’ll take it easy back in Crescentia. I know Dad’s got you all cooped up in the house and barely lifting a finger… but I also know you.” Addy gave her mom her best ‘I’m onto you’ look… one that funnily enough, her mom had used on her untold numbers of times while she was growing up. Dr. Pepperidge smirked, likely understanding that twist now coming from her grown daughter. “I’ll have my feet up plenty at the office, honey,” she promised. Despite her words though, both knew that going into the office for her would still involve her working. Policy meetings and calls and emails and helping with the countless Littles there… she’d be lucky to rest for more than five minutes at a time. Maybe sitting for half of it… but not relaxing either. So, knowing a lost cause and not wanting to beat a dead horse anymore, Addy sighed and gave her mom a quick hug, possibly in hopes of guilt-tripping her mom on at least one item. “Just at least promise you’ll take the meds. All the meds…” Despite having founded a drug company, Dr. Pepperidge was notorious for skimping out on her own medications over the years. “Oh, Addy…” Dr. Pepperidge smiled proudly at her daughter from the quick reminder. “You’re such a nurse, you know that? I promise sweetie… no matter what else, I will take my meds…” She then deeply sighed and a look of something almost like disappointment appeared to wash over her. “But really, dear. You should look into Dr. Halgen’s offer.” “Her offer?” Addy asked, trying to play dumb. Dr. Halgen hadn’t exactly been subtle about it. Dr. Pepperidge’s smirk returned. “Fine. Play dumb then, missy, but when she accepted her new role starting next fall at Psyche in the Calidaforna location out here to start… well, she mentioned that she had given you an acceptance letter into her program after we gave her the good news. Apparently, this past semester you’ve shown some real promise and initiative in her class. Top marks I’m told… or was she lying?” Addy sighed and looked at her white tennis shoes. “No…” Dr. Pepperidge rubbed her daughter’s drooped shoulder. “It’s okay, honey. I’m not mad you didn’t tell your dad… or even me for that matter. I know how much you appreciate the chemistry side in this business. I just… I think you have a real knack for working with Littles.” She took a deep breath and straightened herself out on the curb at the terminal. “Just think about it seriously, okay? For me, sweetie?” Addy almost wanted to shudder at those words. A promise to her mom felt binding to her… and she had heard the offer from Dr. Halgen at least five times since she had first met her and it never changed… switch your major and I’ll tutor you personally. Even when she had accepted the job, something everyone seemed to know about lately, Dr. Halgen had offered Addy a summer internship already and to tutor her off campus. ‘Besides,’ she had noted when they last spoke, ‘Little work is mostly learned by doing.’ And truthfully, Addy had been interested in the notion. Having worked for and with her mom and dad for several years now, she knew Littles better than even some of the Bigs being placed in Psyche facilities around the country. Born to it or not, she had been raised in ‘the life’ and now, it just came second nature to her. Her technique was perfect… testing and belittling to the Littles but only enough for them to bend toward being the perfect Littles… not break them like most Bigs did these days. “Sure, mom,” Addy only halfheartedly promised. “Will do.” Based on her look, Dr. Pepperidge likely didn’t believe her. It was always a long shot, but her sigh of acceptance and not despair showed she was happy at least for the acknowledgement from her daughter. “Thank you, Addy. That’s all I ask.” One of the outdoor clocks chimed above the noise of the oncoming traffic. Addy checked behind her car and knew she’d have to move soon or risk getting a ticket in this lane. “Okay… gotta go, mom.” As usual, Dr. Pepperidge didn’t seem like she wanted to leave her daughter. Still, she was the practical sort and zoomed in for a quick hug. “I love you, Addy-bear… never forget that.” Addy smiled. “Love you too, mom… See you Spring break!” It was legitimately a nice moment, but a few impatient horns soon broke their bond and the two separated. Getting back in her car, Addy waved to her mom. “And… just give me a buzz when you land, okay? Stay safe and…” “I will take my pills, pumpkin!” Dr. Pepperidge said with a grin. “Now, go! Go study and never forget just how much I love you!” Addy nodded as she was already pulling away and gave her mom a small smile and waved goodbye. Looking in her rearview mirror, normally, her mom just went right inside to get to her flight. Today, though, she lingered… even to the point where Addy’s view was blocked before she even moved. ‘Weird… it’s not like she’s not going to see me in two weeks…’ *              *              * Beeping. Disinfectant smells masked with lavender and lemon. Bright lights. Addy blinked and tried to refocus her eyes, but everything was blurry around her still. Closing them, her other senses kicked in, and she felt the cool sheets and a few wires hooked up to her. It got her heart beating a little faster… as evidenced by the increased beeps in the room. “Doctor… doctor. Doctor!” a familiar voice shouted out. Addy’s eyes bolted open at that point and looking over at the shouts, she saw her dad. “Dad…” Her voice was raspy and she felt terrible but seeing him here was nice. Last time she was in the hospital, it was a minor thing, but because of their relationship, he had kept away and only sent a card. Speaking of well wishes in the hospital… as her dad was waving down a doctor, Addy spotted the several flowers in front of her. And looking a little over to one side, several cards; many of which seemed… handmade. ‘Heh. Handprints and backwards L’s… too adorable. And one of those handprints looks awfully familiar…’ She wanted… needed to see them closer. Wincing for a moment, Addy managed to right herself up in bed just as the doctor came in. “Well… looks like someone’s up and about, huh?” he strutted over and flashed a pen in her eyes, asked a few questions… mostly things that just annoyed Addy. But after, she found her voice again. “Wha… what happened? Why am I here?” The doctor nodded. “Right. Well, first off… you look great. A little disoriented maybe and raspy voice… to be expected. You got clunked with one of Dr. Halgen’s thicker reference texts… metal protective corner first. Then… when the assault came in, they tossed a flashbang… except this one had some more kick and sprayed the place with a disinfectant of sorts. Not entirely sure, but it apparently sweeps away spills and fumes… stuff that could hurt them. You swallowed a little… and so we kept you here over night… just in case.” “Plus, the facility needed some repair work…” her dad quickly added. “Not the best for getting some needed rest.” Addy was nodding to the whole thing… at least until how long she had been here. “Wait… overnight?” Her eyes darted around the room. Sure, the cards could be evidence, but she had one… two things on her mind. “Oliver? Katrina? Where are they? Are they safe? Did they really get out? Where are they now?” “Woah, woah, woah, Addy…” her dad calmed her, rushing to her side. “They’re fine. You’re fine. Group effort back at the facility. Lots of volunteers and helpers once word got out with what happened. So, with everything that happened, you and some of the nurses needed some help and…” “But we’re all good now…” Cassie said with a sly smile from the doorway. “Well… mostly okay.” Looking down at her leg, it was bound in a large, blue and metallic cage… with some sort of liquid pouch on the inside covering the length of her calf muscle. “Cass… I…” Addy couldn’t help but stare at her leg and feel that it was partly her fault from such a lame escape plan. She felt responsible for getting her shot. Cassie, likely seeing the guilt build up on her friend’s face, quickly shook her head though. “No, no, Ads. All good. No guilt. I see that look on your face. I’ve seen it before. And please… I’m okay. Doc says less than a week with this new cast from Diamond Tech. Speeds up the process and all. So please… don’t worry.” “And besides… you kind of saved everyone…” her dad noted, a little pride in his voice. “No…” Addy shook her head, hating hero worship. “I just…” “No. Don’t do that, Ads,” Cassie interjected before she could deny anything. “Us nurses got some bump and bruises. These days… hangovers are worse. You took the risk. It turned out okay, but… it could have also gone very differently, and it would have been your butt on the line.” She stepped forward again. “Besides… from what I hear… that crazy lady almost had you in this time at the end there…” “Cynthia…” her dad said coldly. “Yes… Cynthia…” Addy looked at her dad questioningly, but he looked away… almost in shame. ‘Wait… Cynthia basically admitted she worked for Juventas. Does my dad… know her?’ It gave her butterflies all over, but before she could think about it more, she heard a knock at the door. “Knock, knock!” Emily said, smiling and poking her head in, her police uniform clearly visible. “Oh, Emily!” Addy was always glad to see her. And now, with her brain not foggy anymore, she understood the voice she had heard after the assault team hit… that was her. ‘Geesh! That’s twice she’s helped me. First with Oliver and Cara, and now this? She needs an all-expenses paid spa day or something at the very least!’ “Thank you for saving me when the building got hit.” “Hey, Ads, and don’t mention it… just doing my job.” She shirked her shoulders forward dismissively. “Anyway though… heard Cynthia’s name and… well, just wanted to put your mind at ease about her from an official front.” She stepped closer in the room… though not before holding up a finger to some unknown shifting shadowy figure standing outside the door still. Emily stepped up and nodded to Addy’s dad… almost like they knew each other well, before turning back to Addy. “Now… to make this quick and easy… we have her in custody. She’s a handful and not talking… but she’s not going to be a harm to you or anyone else ever again. And as far as your other concerns…?” She then looked back at the doorway. “Okay! You can come on in now!” Almost immediately, Addy heard the thundering sounds of little feet scampering toward her. Only a second later, both Katrina and Oliver ran into the room, both waddling from their thick diapers but both unharmed and looking as happy as ever. Already, Addy could sense herself feeling better. “Oliver! Katrina!” Addy shouted. As soon as they were within reach, her dad, Emily, and Cassie all worked together to pick both up and gently placed them on Addy’s bed. Crawling over to her, they gave her the biggest hugs ever. “We missed you!” they cried out. “It was only one night you two…” Cassie noted. “But I’m sure it must have felt like it was forever,” Addy joked in agreement with them. “Forever and ever!” Oliver shouted before hugging her again, Stripe neatly tucked to his side and now squished between them. “Never go away again, please? We were so scared!” Addy smiled and gave both her Littles a reassuring hug. “Never again if you don’t want me to.” She noticed how Katrina was only telling her that she missed her… not to never go away again. It was a sign for any nurse in this profession. She cared deeply for Addy… there was no doubt about that, but Rick was in her life as well. She might not have been entirely conscious of it, but she was slowly edging closer to him and away from Addy. Oliver though… he wasn’t showing any of those signs. To him, a few tears trickling down his cheeks, being away from Addy had seemed forever… just how you would expect a Little, even one like Oliver with his background, to react to being away from their caregiver. And as Addy sat on the bed, she knew he especially looked like a scared Little who had been missing his mommy while she was away. It nearly excited her but seeing her dad and remembering the assault on the facility… she couldn’t help but be reminded of a painful truth that she was coming to. She had been coming to it awhile now, but the assault just showed the huge problem Psyche was now facing. But first, she needed to talk to her dad. So, going home that night, thanks to the little machines and robots tasked with construction, the facility had been patched up. Finishing details and sawdust and paint in buckets still lay around the place where explosions and bullets and barriers had been posted… but everyone was soon allowed back in the facility if they wished. A few were still in a hotel specially rented out for them downtown… but most still felt safer in the facility. Thanks to Addy, most managed to make it out before any of the really bad things had a chance to go down.   But driving to her dad’s, Addy was reminded of what had changed. There was a feeling in the air… a confusion that didn’t seem to want to go away. The end of the month was approaching, and she didn’t know so many things. Oliver seemed a sure thing lately… but he could still choose Delany. It wasn’t exactly unprecedented. And what’s more, question of leadership and the future of Psyche and the future of the Crescentia location and the Littles there. With an assault so public, the board had checked things further out and were concerned with what they had found. Between that and… other things, the future all felt suddenly so shaky. “Your brother wanted me to remind you to place those daffodils that he and Julia brought you were in the hospital in the dirt by no later than two weeks from now,” her dad noted as Addy entered his little garden once again. It was something Warren and him shared… the love of everything green. Addy was still surprised he didn’t live in a terrarium or a greenhouse of sorts. Addy nodded. “I will. Warren added it to his get well note as well.” She smirked. “And reminded me through text… and before he left my room. You’d think I was caring for his Little Jakey or something.” “Just a matter of pride,” her dad said, standing up and brushing the dirt of his knees. “They are quite beautiful…” “Yeah…” Addy trailed off for a moment as she gazed over to the swing out back her mom always used to sit on and read to her over the years. Even with things patched up, the house always flooded her mind with so many memories… no seemed so distant. Her dad sighed. “But I’m guessing you came over here because of something other than flower arrangements, huh?” Addy sighed back. “You know me so well…” She winced and touched her forehead. With their technology, it was little more than a bruise now and no internal damage, but it still stung a little. “Well… come on in. Let me fix you a cup of tea and we can talk…” He turned around and started walking to the back door. “Kinda knew this day was coming…” Addy wanted to question him about what he meant by that, but still feeling out of sorts lately, she just dropped it and followed him on inside, already choosing her spot to sit and plop while her dad brought in her tea. Apparently, he had anticipated all this and already had the kettle going. Sitting down himself, he stirred the little metal case with the tea leaves and took a deep breath of the hot vapors coming off the top of the liquid in the glass. “Yes… very good.” Opening his eyes, he looked back at Addy. “Now then… what’s on your mind, pumpkin?” Addy didn’t really want to talk about what was on her mind. Talking about it would make it real and her thoughts come to fruition. Once out of her head, she knew she would need to act on them… either way her dad suggested. It was just a concept now… nothing firm or serious, but out loud… it would be real and actionable on her part. No matter what, it would mean change. ‘Maybe if I just…’ “Addy…” Her dad using her name was something firm but caring as well. He had power in this world, and he was simply poking her with a stick. Nothing cruel or hurtful… just enough to push her along and ahead in life.   “Right…” Addy knew she couldn’t delay any longer. “Well… I’ve been thinking… since the assault, maybe even before… I’ve been, uh…” She knew she could still turn back. It wasn’t too late and she was great at improvisation after years of playing around with Littles and their stuffed animals. But she also knew the truth needed to be told. She sighed. “Dad… I’m thinking of quitting.” Her dad didn’t move from his spot for a moment. He only drank a sip of tea and looked right back at his daughter. “So, when are you thinking of doing this? After another batch?” He smirked. “When Oliver chooses you?” “What?” Addy was more than shocked at what she was hearing. She knew her dad was smart and observant, but he didn’t even flinch at her notion. “No surprise? No… woah? Addy… don’t you think you’re being too rash? Nothing? Nothing at all?” Her dad smirked and leaned forward. “If you want, we can do that again and I can act shocked. Your mom said I was very convincing in that play we did for the nonprofit when you were eight. Remember that?” Addy and her brother, Warren, still did but year after year, always tried very hard to forget. Their parents weren’t bad… the costumes were just a little period and… tight. “No, Dad. Please. I just…” “You’re wondering how long I knew, weren’t you?” he correctly guessed. Addy, wordless now, only nodded. Smirking, her dad took another sip of his tea. Well, I am on the board, and I do oversee parts of Psyche. Your reports… well, they just aren’t excited anymore. Oliver and Katrina seem like your two most precious gems, but being a nurse there? I would have thrown you an escape hatch or lifejacket if I could. But sometimes… you just need to let your kids come to you. Sometimes… they need to find the answer on their own.” “You know… you said the same line to me in fifth grade with my calculus,” Addy noted with her hands on her hips and one eyebrow raised. She knew what he was doing. “Yes, yes… but… I’m not wrong about you.” He paused and his head seemed to be contemplating something particularly large. “But tell me… what finally pushed you over to tell me. Is it the assault? If it is and you still want to stay, I can enact a lot of security protocols and double ID and verification and retinal scan and…” “Dad.” To protect her, Addy knew her dad would go through just about anything to ensure that would be assured. In this case though, her safety wasn’t the point. “It’s not about security at the facility. I mean, admittedly, there’s a gap they exploited, like we found with the horse stables with Patrick and Cara’s kidnapping last year… but again, it’s not about that.” Her dad leaned forward. “So, tell me. What is it about then?” Addy sighed. “Okay… you caught me. Yes, my final reason to leave is the assault, but…” She had one last chance to stop but she knew this needed to be said… especially to a board member… to her dad. “The company mom built with her own two hands is being destroyed by the board and by decisions by Dr. Tracey. I mean… how could you all hire her? She’s so anti-mom and she’ll regress any Little into mush as a first step… not as the absolute last resort mom made it out to be. It’s… it’s robbing my passion and my pleasure from my job. I hold it so much, and… Dr. Tracey just ruined it all.” Her dad paused for longer than usual. His eyes were nearly sunken and dark from dread. “Honey… don’t be too hard on Dr. Tracey,” he noted wearily. “I know she’s a lot, but…” “Dad?” Addy asked when he trailed off in seeming sadness for a moment. He shook his head. “Sorry… it’s just that… that prototype she made… that gun. We’re already pushing it to be banned in this state and at least 12 others. It’s not public yet, but it will be soon. And the tragedy? She and that other fellow… can’t remember his name, but both… well, both need some help these days… and many more to come.” “You mean…?” Addy didn’t even want to finish that question. Instead, her dad barely flicked his head forward to confirm. “So… she will be out of any administrative role for some time to come, and you might celebrate this, but… the board has already approved another. Just as headstrong and sure about themselves and what they’ve done and… I believe dangerous if left unattended.” Addy wanted to be pissed at Dr. Tracey and wanted her punished for so long, but this… this was a punishment she wouldn’t wish on anyone. And while she felt terrible about her implied fate, it still left a main problem in this whole situation. Dr. Tracey might have been removed, her fault or not, but now, another was coming to take her place. While Addy didn’t know this person, they seemed just like Dr. Tracey had initially been described as. Dr. Tracey was essentially a symptom of a much larger picture… one that in spite of her absence, was still here… still lingering under the surface and everything. “Dad… you asked me why.” Addy scowled and pointed to her palm for emphasis. “This is why I need to leave Psyche. This is why it’s not mom’s company anymore.” “Because of a new person?” her dad asked. Addy shook her head. “No… or at least not exactly. This person… this position they’re trying to fill, the board is filling it wrong. With Dr. Tracey… even maybe a little of Dr. Halgen at points, they treated the Littles wrong!” “And you know this?” Her dad was always questioning and calculating. His logic helped the board several times in the past decades. To Addy, it almost felt like he was testing her this time though. “Yes!” Addy stomped her foot while still remaining seated. “The assault is basically all the proof you need. Xander was the mole! You know that, right?” “I do, yes. The board now does as well, and… they weren’t pleased.” The air in the room seemed to go still. “But… after our conversation once you woke up and discussions with Cassie and Erin and Dr. Halgen, despite her status now… worked in his favor. We’re still trying to think what should happen, but his contract is at least intact… for now.” It was a breath of relief for Addy to hear that. She had been dreading his fate since she first saw him in all that tactical gear and yet looking completely lost and innocent. But… Psyche was now her main focus. “Good. I’m glad… but he’s the proof there’s a problem in Psyche now!” “Go on…” her dad coaxed. “Xander… he was a criminal. Alzheimer’s, yes, but a criminal,” she assured him. “The board and approvers should have known that he was going to be troubled for us with his Alzheimer’s, and most definitely afterward. Plus… I don’t have proof, but I know there had to be a delay in his treatment. I practically heard as much from Cynthia!” “And this led to the assault?” Her dad seemed fully invested now, almost like Addy was filling in a missing piece of a puzzle he was already trying to solve. “Yes,” Addy confirmed quickly and without hesitation. “His past should have been a major red flag, especially with so many others… and then his delay?” She started to count on her fingers. “He contacted them before he left, something that could have been stopped right away. He was then in contact with her and she didn’t wave off because he was as mad and criminal and furious as ever when he should have started to show interest in cartoons. And then… we finally did slip, it all happened too fast and he became a danger to himself and others. And when that happened, he was likely too scared to back out from Cynthia, causing him to go deeper!” Addy took a deep breath. “If Xander had been rejected at the start, Cynthia would have never been contacted in the first place. If Xander had gotten the proper treatment on time, she probably would have scoffed weeks into their deal and walked away instead of getting more interested. And then, when she was invested, if he had been properly regressed, he might have even spilled that he was about to assault the building during naptime or even during a diaper change! You know the kinds of stuff Littles spill when they’re in those types of positions!” “Yes… yes, I do…” While her dad didn’t work with Littles very much anymore, at the start of the company, he was one of the few that could keep Littles happy and feel safe during their initial drug trials. Her mom was better… but her dad had more experience than most of the others on the board lately. Seemingly exhausted, he collapsed back into his chair. Seeing the weight now affecting her dad, Addy knew she had to finish up with the last piece. “And… all this deals with Dr. Halgen and Dr. Tracey. They could have stopped this, but because of their rules and honestly, their corruption, Xander got out of control and the other Littles were too regressed throughout the process to stand up to him or Damien when he was there as well. If there was no ‘TV time,’ one of the older Littles might have bullied Xander and caused him to regress even faster. But lately… both were so distracted with their own problems and the board. It’s just… it’s one giant mess.” It felt both good and great to get off her chest. “I joined to help Littles. If I stayed, I feel I would only be hurting them. Regressing their minds permanently and torturing them in the meantime, where a Little snapping is just to be expected under that kind of stress. And…” Addy paused and had to keep her emotions in check to keep from overwhelming her. “That’s not something I want to be with anymore.” It was a hard truth, but Addy was jumping ship. She wanted to leave on a high note and even if Oliver didn’t choose her, she often reflected back on when he first came here. PTSD and dying of cancer… on Earth, he would have been long dead by now. Instead, here, he was back at the facility and running around and watching cartoons and playing with Stripe. Her purpose had been fulfilled with him and with everything going on, she was ready to take that next step… maybe even find the magic again that she had first felt coming to work for Psyche right out of college like she did. “Well… the board’s already making some changes, Addy… but I think everything happening…” He winced. “…with Dr. Tracey and Dr. Halgen now…” “Wait…” Addy felt a little whiplash. “What about Dr. Halgen? She’s not being held responsible for this, is she?” She swallowed hard at what the board might do. They might not have been as close as before, but Addy still saw her as a friend and mentor. “I know things have been chaotic and she’s fallen on hard times and become distracted and desperate as a result but…” “She resigned this morning, Addy,” her dad stated bluntly. He sighed and rubbed his temples before taking another sip of his steaming team. “This will be her final batch. It’s not in her official letter to the board, but she sent one letter to me personally, thanking our family for her time in Psyche… even mentioned your mom a few times with how grateful she was with all this.” His worry seemed to only emphasize one of the wrinkles on his forehead. “But… I guess the assault was her final straw, so to speak, as well.” It was hard to fathom that. Yes, Dr. Halgen was leaving already in a month or two and being replaced by Dr. Tracey, but resignation… it was hard to reconcile the image of the college professor advocating for Little’s rights and shaping an entire generation of pro-Little Bigs. It was so inspiring and all that… now ending with resignation after an assault on the facility she was the head of. For Addy, it was just another reason that Psyche was going down the drains. “I… I don’t know what to say. I just…” Addy’s mind was swimming with the chaos of everything unfolding lately. “You know she was set up to fail though, right?” Even if she faltered in the end, she was still a friend and she still cared about Littles. These days, despite the Little laws, it seemed to be a quality sadly lacking in Littlecare anymore. “I do,” her dad said with both reluctance and sadness. “In fact, I’ll take it a step further…” He leaned in and Addy followed. “I believe that Xander and Damien were actually brought in as a preemptive strike to take her down. But… once Dr. Tracey came in with her methods, both were thrown to the wolves and then began to regress slowly not being needed anymore. I mean… have you seen her resume? Those two would have been like little white mice compared to her cleaver of work in comparison.” Addy nodded horrifically, recalling everything she had found out. While her fate was atrocious and the nightmare fuel of Bigs across the world… with her crimes against Littles, it almost seemed like poetic justice. Almost though… if it was true, her body would have several more scars, likely parts of her brain missing or blocked, and her soul broken… in ways even Addy couldn’t read more about. There are just some things people aren’t meant to know… “Now… all this is speculative, but it holds up with all the evidence surrounding it indirectly. Still…” He sighed and now looked directly at her with his serious face on. “Do you really want to leave Psyche? I’ll support you no matter what, Addy, but I’m also you dad and I want to make sure my girl is looking before she leaps.” Addy smirked at that. It was something he had been telling her for years. Unlike that time that she wanted a tattoo in high school though, this time she could nod proudly. “I have. I weighed the pros and cons and these days… just way too many cons. Instability, questionable morality, possible lack of time to dedicate, an added commute since I don’t want Oliver just cooped up in facility if he chooses me. Plus… I have a whole list back there right now. I think the negative outweigh the positive by at least three times.” “I see…” Curiously, since Addy had mentioned A little while later, when Addy’s tea was just warm and pleasant to drink, he finally looked back at her, seeming to snap out of whatever mindset he had been in. “Addy… just think about it for a little longer. Take the afternoon for me. Walk around the facility. Reflect, but by tonight, if you still want to quit… call me first, okay?” It was a strange request, but Addy agreed and soon found herself once again back at the facility. Looking around, and with Oliver still being watched by Cassie or Erin at all times in her absence, she decided to take up her dad’s advice and wander around. Picking out the most scenic route, Addy began to search for all the little secrets of this place and reflect on all the memories she had made here. Walking down the roadway she saw the gate. Hundreds of Littles had come and gone through that gate to a new world… a new life. It represented a hope and protection against the outside world… and now, it was being worked on after being blasted apart by the mercenaries. Walking on, Addy came to a large tree overlooking one of the lawns. She remembered climbing up in it as she watched her mom teach Littles yoga to several of the batches that were here during the time. She always laughed at her mom’s corny jokes and the Littles sometimes struggling to stay upright or when they ben down completel and exposed their diapered little butts. It was adorable and a peaceful time around here… but now, there were chunks of metal embedded from when the gatehouse exploded. Walking the perimeter, she came to the horse stables. Still abandoned and even more in need of repairs, Addy remembered when her mom had told her that she would buy a horse just for her whenever she came over. Stall 3 was still empty… still untouched. But now… this place reminded her of Penny and betrayal and aa security gap in their perimeter. Passing through the trees, Addy saw the pond. Nothing much ever but she had brought so many Littles here to stay calm and clear their minds and relax. So many had later run here in tears or broke down alter as they had knelt by the ripples in the water lapping up on shore. Addy helped them all… but now, it just reminded me of Psyche’s old stances. If only they embraced the new technologies and philosophies and techniques. Maybe someone like Xander could have been spotted and helped… And then walking back to the house, Addy stopped at the cliffside edge overlooking the water. Choppy seas today but the sun was still there. The breeze still played over her face as she smiled and let the wind blow her all about and this way and that. She had innumerous picnics here going from when she was a little girl with her mom until recently whenever Patrick wasn’t with his future caregiver and Katrina was. It was wonderful but Addy couldn’t help but feel queasy as she perched there in the silence apart from the wind nipping at her ears… remembering the spot where Patrick and Cara were kidnapped. A horror show from the time she found out, Addy still tried to keep those nightmares at bay. So, as she explored the grounds, even with all her good memories of her family and the Littles she had helped… all of it now felt tainted by the assault or the corruption or the kidnappings… just half the stuff that had happened in the past year here. They could have been exceptions… but Addy knew that was just wishful thinking. Psyche needed to change, and wherever she went next, she wanted to be valued… ‘But what?’ From it, by the time Addy reached the house once more, she knew what she had to do. With naptime in full swing, Addy knew she had a little more time to perform one last task just for herself. In about 30 minutes, Katrina and Oliver would be up and hungry for a snack yet likely needing a change first. She was happy to do that… to see their smiles and feel their post-nap cuddles and scrunches in her arms. But right now, as she pulled out her phone, she felt assured when she called her dad. “Hello?” he quickly responded. “Addy? It’s still the afternoon. It’s great to hear from you and all but…” “Dad. Stop.” Addy made sure with every ounce of her being to not be angry, upset, or short with him. She just knew what he was going to say and she knew her mind was made up. She didn’t need more time now. She had that time for at least a month… longer still if she really thought about it. “I’ve thought about this for a long time now.” She took a breath and tried to keep her voice low. She still had trust issues around here. Dr. Tracey was gone and Penny was essentially drifting in the wind these days or at most, her spy… but there was still a lingering feeling in this place of being watched. That the walls were even listening to every word she said. “And I want to resign. I don’t want to leave this place… but I can’t stay the way it is… and the way it’s going. I can’t stick around and watch them destroy this place…” There’s a long pause on the other end of the phone. Just as Addy is about to ask if her dad is still there, he speaks back up. “Addy… I’m sorry all this has happened to you. You are a good nurse. You always have been but sometimes… we all need to walk away from something we love because staying would only be worse.” Addy was curious about what position he had that knew that but kept listening to his wisdom. “You are my daughter… my only daughter. You and Warren are my family, and as your dad and his, know there’s nothing I want more in this world than to see both of you happy.” He paused for a moment. “And if that means you resigning from Psyche after this batch is over, then I will support you completely.” “Thanks, Dad.” Addy still marveled over how less than four months ago now, she and her dad were barely on speaking terms. Family, yes, but not close. Now, Addy felt there were few others that she trusted more. “I’m your dad and it’s my job to support you.” He took a deep breath in. “And as part of that… I want you to come back over here tomorrow. Maybe consider bringing Oliver if it’s still crazy over there, but… we need to talk. I think you might find what I have to say or even to show you most… interesting.” Addy wasn’t sure what to make of that, but after a few more notes about the next day, Addy, finally agreed with a simple “Okay,” and “See you tomorrow.” Not long after, their phone call ended and she was more perplexed than ever about what her future was. At the same time though, she was crystal clear on one course of action: quitting Psyche. It would be tough and toss her about like a ship cut from its anchor but walking out of her room and downstairs to Katrina’s and Oliver’s rooms to wake them up, she couldn’t help but smile. No matter what, these would be her last Littles she cared for at Psyche. Walking into Oliver’s room, she couldn’t help but smile for today and take it all in. Tomorrow was her dad’s place again and some secret. Today though… today was all about cuddles and being with her Littles and enjoying every last moment here.

In no particular order: (Short list) Natural Born Killers The Crow Spawn (Both the 1997 film and the HBO series.) (the only one I don't have) Blade (The first three anyway.)

Another overtime win. (I don't mind the extra $$$, but I need my nights off more than the extra hours.)

Probably Arby's when I get out of church. Since I'm covering on one of my days off, I'll likely leave at the end of service, instead of sticking around for Bible study. (There is a chance that boss lady's grandson is going to need extra attention, and I'll work Sunday night.)

$4.55 to be specific. Thankfully, I only needed 3 gallons. I think the truck stop up on the corner is around $4.20 for 85 octane. There's always Walmart/Sam's Club and a spot a few blocks in from I-25, but where I'm located, it's about 2.5 miles to any grocery store, so I'll stop at a station near the store that works with Upside. Seems like about all I do is work and sleep with side trips to the store and church.