Diaper References

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Throw 2 fresh diapers in the dryer let them tumble for until desired fluff. Give it a try if your able they will be fluffy and comfy ☺️ 

Hey everyone! Nothing much to update today. Sorry for not posting yesterday. Too much to do and so little sleep. I knew this chapter needed some special attention, so I didn’t want to push it and fumble in the end. Things are now going to start amping up though, so keep tuned to see what happens next. So now, last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 4: Your Treatment… Hopefully “Okay, Mindy,” Bruce said in his usual sweet manor, the stubble of his attempted beard growing in now, but his rounded cheeks giving him a more youthful and innocent appearance still. “Are you ready for your first treatment today?” Mindy looked at the bags next to her that contained the cure for her stage 4 brain cancer, something that was getting worse every day still. With Franklin already having received his first treatment earlier, free to focus on her other little, Addy looked at her charge and was just grateful that she had got her in today in the nick of time. Simply put… she wasn’t getting worse and fast. The other day, the tumor in her brain growing, Mindy had hallucinated her father and… well, she wasn’t entirely sure of the details, but Addy knew a bad relationship when she saw one. Already weak, the poor Little shook a while from her nerves and the pure mental and physical exhaustion that came with such an event. A few of the crueler Littles mocked her, but Addy made sure to shield Mindy from those sorts of things lately. She wasn’t sure yet, but a tiny feeling in heart was growing. In essence: she was almost certain by now that she had found her Little. Of course, all that was a way off still, new potential caregivers on their way from her to all choose from, but all their time together was just marked with more success and a closer bond than she had experienced yet with any other Little before. Speaking to her dad and a few of her friends, everyone could see that Addy was absolutely smitten with the diminutive Little under her care. And what’s more? Mindy showed the same affection back. So, it was no surprise that after looking at the strangely colored liquid in the IV bags getting ready to be hooked up to her arm, she looked pleadingly up at Addy. “Do… do I have to?” Her little voice, still racked with the exhaustion of late-stage cancer, nearly wanted to tear Addy’s heart in two. Recognizing her fear, Addy crouched down and petted her Little’s hand. “It’s okay, sweetie. It’s just a needle. In fact… we might just set up a central line for you for your meds specifically, so we don’t have to prick you again.” “Won’t my existing line be enough?” Mindy asked, looking down at the IV constantly attached to her arm already, it standing out sharply with the way that other Littles had decorated it. Both Bigs and Littles alike favored the monkey hanging from the top of the pole the best. Addy shook her head sadly. “I’m afraid not, baby. This requires special medicine, and our IV needles for this cure are embedded with sensors to continually monitor your progress as the drugs enter your bloodstream. So… just one little prick and…” Bruce, proving to be excellent at his job down here already, used a butterfly IV, and with Mindy distracted, she only realized she was being pricked by the time it was all over. “Hey! I was…” Seeing the needle inserted already and not having felt any pain aside from maybe a tiny pinch from Bruce’s expert hands, she chuckled. “It’s in! I barely felt it!” Addy smiled and stroker her shoulder. “Of course, honey. Bruce is very good at his job. Maybe after you can even give him a hug.” Mindy quickly nodded her head, and with Addy stroking her hand the whole time, the Little soon drifted into a peaceful rest. Addy nodding to Bruce, he then started the medicine, the green liquid traveling slowly down and entering her IV. Boasted as a miracle drug when it was first introduced, Earth was aching to get their hands on it. Being temperamental and a possible gateway to other problematic forms of medicine though… the Libertalian government prevented its export… hence Mindy coming here. Resting peacefully in her chair, Mindy was acting just like the others… happy and calm and nearly falling asleep… until she wasn’t. Her brow furrowed. She winced a few times, and she then began to thrash around before her eyes shot open, full of panic and pain. “Ow! Ow! Ow! It’s… it’s burning me!” She sat upright and pointed at her arm. “Burning… you?” Bruce questioned her skeptically. “I’ve never heard of that reaction before. Maybe there’s a problem with the needle or…” He trailed off, clearly trying not to panic and just to figure out what was going wrong. Addy though, looked at her Little… and began to notice several symptoms… symptoms she had memorized from her mom as signs of only a handful of problems. Acting as failsafe of sorts, Juventas drugs were basically made with a built-in alarm if there was ever a problem before any interaction could get really bad. “Shoot… I can’t remember.” Addy’s panic was beginning to rise, and she scratched her head and pulled her hair in a vain attempt to remember faster. “Was burning a sign of organ failure? Allergy? Intolerance to the drug? Or…” Addy’s eyes opened wide and she snapped to Bruce. “Bruce! Hurry! Top cabinet! Now! Go! I know what’s wrong with her!” Dutifully racing off, Addy looked down at her Little… now wincing and shivering, her body breaking out into sweats to top it off. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck! Please don’t be too late… please…’ Bruce ran back over and held out about a two-foot-long rectangular plastic package. Curiously, it was nearly the same shape and packaging as a chocolate ice cream bar, but inside, Addy knew the item was very different. “Is this it?” Addy snatched it away from his hands and nodded. “Failsafe protocol. There should always be at least five on premise.” She ripped the package open with her teeth, a casual glance at the expiration date giving her the green light. Wincing, she then turned back to Mindy. “Sorry, baby… it’s this or…” She didn’t finish her thought, only seeing Mindy nod her head in abject terror. But, with her consent and taking a breath, Addy aimed and brought the needle right down into Mindy’s chest. In a second, the Little surged around, almost like she was having a seizure. Panicking, Bruce held her down with Addy, tears now in her eyes that she had done something seriously wrong. Fortunately, for the both of them, Mindy soon stopped and took a deep breath. Coughing several times, she finally seemed better after a few pats followed by a few rubs by Addy on her back. “Th… thanks, Addy…” Addy sighed and nodded. As Mindy drifted a little, her Little was safe and sound, but there was now a much bigger problem they had to deal with. Unfortunately, Bruce’s curiosity got the better of him before Addy could figure out an easy lie to keep everyone calm and hopeful still. “What… what was that?” “Bruce…” Addy said delicately. “If you’ll just allow me to explain… I can go get that new doctor… Dr. Halgen to better explain some of the more…” “No,” Mindy said defiantly, seeming to perk back up. “Truth now. I… I was so scared… Addy… please… what was that?” Never being able to refuse a request like that from any of her Littles before, Addy didn’t break that tradition today. She sighed and turned over the plastic rapper that once held the needle and pointed to the few problems outlined on the back… her finger finally stopping on one in particular, her eyes full of tears: Little rejection of treatment. Mindy and Bruce both blinked helplessly at the large warning label on the back. Clearly, both weren’t expecting that kind of reaction. “Wait…” Mindy said, her eyes growing wide as her brain finally seemed to figure out what was happening to her. “My treatment… so, it didn’t work…” So distant. So sad. It was the sound of the notion of what that meant. For all Littles coming here, despite most of them not reading at least 70% of the contract they signed, one section always stood out to each and every one… upon inclusion, a cure is never a guarantee. “No… it didn’t…” Addy confirmed, already seeing the tears in her Little’s eyes. Neither of them needed to say it, but it was understood by both; it was a slink and slimy serpent that pecked at everyone whoever came to Psyche. Rare enough indeed, the past years had gotten better, but it was the outcome everyone dreaded fully here. Three small words but a said reality that always seemed to be fulfilled. Failure means death. *              *              * “No!” Addy shot from her bed, her heart beating fast at the reminder of that terrible day. While they both had milkshakes after to mourn the failure of that first attempt at treatment and most of the day had been good before as well… it was the first day that spelled trouble with Mindy. After that… most things just seemed to go wrong. In essence, it was the first painting of the word ‘doom’ across her forehead. Addy had just refused to believe… at least until it was too late. As she scanned her room once more, it was now the next day, and the sun was just starting to creep into her window. After several nights of little sleep, Oliver seemed to have finally settled in his new home and in the week since he had got here, he only had four pure night terrors, two of which were his first two days. Now, he hadn’t had one in three days… something Addy was most grateful for. If not for Oliver himself, for the others who were trying to sleep as well. Plus, she knew he would need that strength today. While certain candidates in the program here had already gone and started their healing process, Oliver had been delayed. Part of it was a lottery of sorts and part of it was due to the lack of severity right now of Katrina’s ailment… at least compared to the others. For them, their treatments took time to rebuild their bodies, synapses, or even outright lung tissue. It was one of the reasons that Patrick was one of the first to go in that batch; regrowing new connective nerve tissue was possible… just time consuming. Even then, well into his third month, he was still having difficulty walking without assistance. Cancer though… bone and skin, as severe as they could be, were entirely treatable. In fact, for some rare cases where patients took to the treatment extraordinarily well, they were nearly cured even before their third and final month here. Katrina would probably be that way. Oliver… not so much. But today being the first day for her Littles’ treatment, Addy could feel her nerves grow and ache in both excitement and fear over today. Ever since Mindy rejected her treatment that one fateful day, treatment day always played havoc with her nerves. It was supposed to be a joyous day, and she had talked to several people by now, and the nurse inside her knew that everything was almost always okay… but her care for her Littles always seemed to override her usual medical knowledge and logic. For her, each new Little on treatment day represented another possibility of failure… another Mindy. Still, shaking her head from those kinds of notions, she had one other factor on her mind today; Cara was coming for the first time. While she should have come the day after they had last met and Addy had evaluated her, it had been one problem after another. First, Patrick had come home with a nasty cough from the daycare… something unavoidable even here. Quick to cure, but it was the first delay. Next, Sam and Lloyd had already planned an outing for the family over the weekend, and with Addy knowing just how precious and formulative those memories and events were for new families… had relented and let them go. Expecting to see them yesterday… according to Sam, Cara instead had one of her bad days. One blown out diaper right after breakfast, she had cried, had a tantrum when she couldn’t hold her fork properly, and became too exhausted after all that to make the trip up here before nap time. So, when Addy shuffled off her morning sleepiness, the sunlight just barely pouring in, she knew she had to check a few things first to ensure everything would go okay when she finally did get here. Now, the one advantage of Cara being delayed here was that it gave ample time for Addy to prepare the rest of the staff and her own Littles. While Oliver seemed less than enthusiastic by a regressed Little coming here, Katrina came right on board. Addy might have questioned that notion further, but with her lack of options, just thanked her deeply instead… and maybe might have thrown in an extra cookie after dinner for good measure. Some days, she just couldn’t help herself. “Katrina… Oliver… this is Cara…” Addy finally announced after Sam had frettingly dropped her off a little later, handing off her diaper bag with trembling fingers. Addy had assured her and sent her off, but she did hold her breath a little as she watched her two new Littles approach one of her previous Littles.     Of course, all this was a huge risk for the program… for the Littles… for Addy. As Dr. Halgen stated, Cara was a preview of what could happen to them. One of the reasons for smaller groups here at least was to ensure that there couldn’t be overwhelming evidence to a Little to see their potential regression. It’s also why they only kept three groups in a location at a time. A handful of regressed or regressing Littles could be passed off as coincidence. Maybe a fluke of nature at worst… but a Little seeing scores of regressed Littles in the same location? Suspcion and disaster around every corner. Outcomes would be fretted over and any action from a Big, no matter how minor, would be viewed as an act of terror. There would be no trust… no progress. The program would collapse. Addy though, had already anticipated that. Quoting “The machine gives us our answer” over and over again to others, it was highly experimental… and would be their scapegoat. In truth, Cara was an anomaly… she was coming here after all because of that, but that wasn’t all. Looking deeper, the degree of that change would be stretched a little bit, but for anyone questioning if they would end up like her, something Oliver did multiple times, Addy just assured him and everyone else that “The machine is gone and won’t be coming back, so don’t worry at all.” Truth… just not all of it. Now though, Addy saw Katrina’s and Oliver’s faces of fear as they looked on at the new Little of the house. A finished product of the program, she was a risk, and her thick diaper and bulging overalls didn’t help the image she now presented… but Addy prompted Cara forward a little. “Now you two… she might be a little shy, but… could one of you show her around? Maybe introduce her to some of the others?” Oliver didn’t budge, but free and mobile as she was, Katrina smiled and came over, extending her hand out graciously. “Come on, Cara. You can come with me. I’m sure there’s lots we can have fun with and talk about.” Cara snapped her head up to Addy… clearly looking for a sign of approval or a notion that Katrina could be trusted. It was another sign of the machine’s work on her, but Addy, seeing this, smiled and pushed the nervous Little forward with her new potential friend. Not wasting a second, and with Addy’s further push, Katrina pulled her through to the family room. Meanwhile, Oliver barely budged an inch. Addy saw and sighed. “Oliver… can you do me a favor?” She knew his type and she knew she had to tackle him another way. She knew if she was successful, her plan could help him out, but it would also give him responsibility in the house now. For him, that would give him a mature feeling he could cling onto… something he wouldn’t be willing to give up without a fight. It would hopefully lighten his mood, oversee both Katrina and Cara, and give her another way she could crack open his still-tough exterior shell. If it worked, she didn’t see a downside. “As long as it doesn’t involve tea parties…” he said grimly, likely recalling the other day when some of the younger Littles had requested his presence for teatime out of the blue. He declined, of course, but it had clearly stuck with him. “No, no,” Addy reassured him, cracking a little smile though not entirely sure if she could make that promise with the two of them. “I just want you to keep an eye out for Cara and Katrina. I mean, you’ve seen Katrina around here…” Yes, it was throwing Katrina a little under the proverbial want-to-be-a-Little bus, but something deep down told Addy that Katrina would be perfectly okay with that sort of insinuation. “And Cara… she’s going to need our help. I might get some of the other Littles to play with her and keep her moving, but… I need a supervisor for all of them. Is that something you would be interested in?” Little life in the Psyche facility was filled with group therapy, now healing treatments, outings with prospective caregivers, and little day trips around the area, with the occasional party thrown in for a holiday or birthday. Otherwise, it was purely down to the entertainment around here and being a place mainly for Littles… unregressed Littles could find themselves quickly bored… at least in their beginning stages. So, it was no surprise to Addy when Oliver nearly lit up over the prospect of finally getting something to do as well as a little responsibility. “Yes! I…” He stopped and seemed to recollect himself, ever the pillar of quiet dignity around here… a vestige Addy was curious if it would stay or leave by the end of his time here. “Yes… yes, I can keep an eye on them. You can count on me. Promise!” Addy forced the giggle she wanted to express so badly as far down as she could. Oliver had agreed, but she had seen where a giggle from her now could ruin everything. So, instead she politely nodded. “Thank you, Oliver. Just keep them safe and… out of trouble.” Nodding with a smile threatening to jump out from behind his built-up armor… Oliver left promptly toward the noise of already increasing giggles in the other room. “Phew!” Addy exhaled a large breath as soon as Oliver was out of sight. “That was close…”  “She’s a risk you know…” Dr. Tracey said from behind Addy, nearly scaring her out of her skin. “Shit!” Addy almost hopped away and looked back at the new doctor of the facility… a healthy level of distrust already gravitating around her. “Announce yourself or something next time, will you?” Dr. Tracey smiled, but it seemed crooked… uncomfortable even, like she wasn’t used to putting on that front. “Of course… but you know she’s a risk here. Goes against our protocols…” Addy had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. ‘As if I don’t know the protocols here…’ Her mom wrote them after all… “I know the protocols,” she said as matter-of-factly as she could. “But Cara was a former patient here. I assume you know what happened?” “Yes… Briney Crandle, a brilliant but ultimately faulty member of Juventas subjected her and at least two others into the machine.” It’s just a word, but with how Dr. Tracey said, ‘the machine,’ there almost seemed to be a speck of pride laced within her words. “She and the other two were regressed. And… she was punished for her crimes.” She paused and nearly seemed to eye up Addy as she was taunting her directly. “Am I missing anything?” Seeing her stance, Addy glared back at her. “No… just that she was my Little… the responsibility of this facility and this company. We owe her…” Dr. Tracey didn’t seem to be amused by that answer. “Our duty is to our shareholders… and the Bigs that take this healed Littles home.” This time, it was Addy who was unamused. In fact, considering why her mom founded this place originally, it was nearly horrifying to her very core to hear that notion out loud. Still… she sadly wasn’t surprised, based on her resume alone. “That’s one aspect, yes,” Addy noted, remembering to be a little political from her dad’s lessons with people like this. “But Cara has been struggling since she went home. Sam, her Big and mommy now, is highly frustrated and feels that I can make her life easier.” Addy made sure not to mention which life she was talking about making easier… Big or Little.   “Her mo…” Dr. Tracey’s face seemed to shift and Addy’s little ploy in bringing in the concerns of a Big seemed to work. “She’s not happy? That’s not good… is she wanting a refund or another Litt…?” “No.” Addy made sure to shut that notion down on the spot. “She just wants help with Cara… something I can actually do here. It’s in her contract after all…” Despite her near pathological need to appease other Bigs, Dr. Tracey looked at her skeptically. “Paragraph three if I remember correctly?” Addy knew her justification was in the contract… just not the specific location. “Psyche New Beginnings will make every effort to ensure the happiness of the both the Little and the Big in their agreed on five-year term together.” Ripped straight from the manual, despite her objections, Dr. Tracey was powerless now to object to Cara anymore… and she knew it. Seeming to bite down on her teeth and straining her language, she nodded at first. “Very well…” Beginning to understand her enemy here, those words seemed poised to nearly kill the new doctor… something Addy had to try very hard not to smile at. Finally seeing Dr. Tracey leave with a little huff, Addy looked on discretely to Oliver, Katrina, and Cara. While the bitter temperatures were keeping everyone indoors today for a scheduled outdoor time, she could see Katrina caring for Cara as best she could. A hand to help her walk… a grip to keep a story book upright… or even sounding out the words in the book they were reading itself… several of the younger Littles now looking in on them and listening in as well. It was the quite the scene. Shifting her eyes over though, Addy quickly saw Oliver looking over them all, his face fixated… but somehow interested in the book as well. Being a week in, Addy knew that the subtle drugs and hypnosis on TV were effective, but it was always a little fun to see the first signs of change in a Little. For Addy, she knew it would lead to loss, but for her, it was something more… it was them finally giving up their notions of shame or embarrassment for liking something meant for kids or younger. It was still small in Oliver… but she saw it bubbling just under the surface. The day continued along much like that. Katrina would guide Cara around and Oliver would watch the two like some proverbial hawk in the corner, ready to pounce at the nearest danger or problem he spotted. Of course, being the good hands-on nurse that she was, Addy would step in when she needed to… like for a quick diaper change or to intervene with one of the second month’s bullying Littles, but she mostly observed. For now, she needed to see if Cara was simply atrophying from being alone… or if she was truly having physical and mental problems in her life from the machine. After lunch though, when she nearly coated her face in mushy peas and didn’t care for a moment until it was pointed out to her, however, Addy felt it was the latter.   But with the time ticking on, Addy soon placed Cara down for a nice long nap, her body not used to the exertion of unregressed Littles anymore. So, one diaper change and bottle in her temporary crib later, Cara was tucked in and softly snoring. Happy, Addy came back downstairs to look for her Littles. Finding Katrina first, she quickly ushered her into the healing pod where Bruce was calmly waiting. Honestly, seeing the two react, it was almost like witnessing Katrina going to a hair appointment… rather than a procedure to cure her bone cancer. While Addy might have raised an eyebrow, as soon as Katrina was evaluated and then zapped inside a machine to target her cancer cells and was fine, she could only feel relief. ‘One Little down… another one to go, but… where is that rascal? Where is Oliver?’ Ensuring Katrina was okay after her first batch of treatment, Addy went to go find Oliver as Cassie and Robin came in for their appointment next. It took a second, but finally, she found him aimlessly staring outside one of the bay windows and out into the ocean beyond the cliff the facility was posed on. “Quite a view, huh?” Oliver jumped in his wheelchair a little, but seeing it was just Addy, nodded his head calmly. “Yeah… I found it helps me think…” Addy smirked. “Same with me.” Oliver smiled, but it soon faded as he turned back to the ocean. Addy saw it right away, and she knew almost instantly what was going on with him. Despite Oliver’s progress at night… her monitor did show he was still having bad dreams… just more of the quiet variety. She nearly intervened of course, but when he settled down, she stayed put… not wanting to embarrass him at this critical stage of development here between the two of them. Still today, she wanted to push him just a little bit. “Oliver… you know, I know you’re still having bad dreams at night…” She wanted to figure him out so bad and crack him open to get him help… but she knew with experience that would just send him running for the hills. Not even turning, his brow furrowed slightly and reflected off the glass. “I don’t need your help…” Addy sighed. ‘Definitely the type who just wants to shoulder the weight of the world all on his own…’ She knew that type of Little and sadly, to expect a long road ahead with them. Still ruled by his head, she also knew she had to go about this another way… something that seemed like it was rapidly becoming a pattern with him. “You know… if you don’t let it out, you’re not going to get better, and you do need your sleep. Being a Little around here without sleep never goes well. Something always happens…” The Little stuck firm… but after a moment of the idea likely rattling around in his head, then started to turn back toward Addy, his eyes full of dread and yet curiosity. “Happens?” Oliver questioned. “What always happens?” Addy smiled softly, seeing the same curiosity of the tiny trap she laid out for him. On a clinical level, she knew holding things inside was never a good thing… but she also knew that she was dealing with a stubborn and prideful Little. A tiny white lie might be just what was needed. “Oh… this and that. It’s nothing really…” Now, Addy was just testing him… see how far he would take his curiosity in this moment. “No… tell me.” Not wasting a moment, he seemed insistent… even doubling down when he took Addy’s hand unexpectedly right after. “Please… tell me.” Right then, Addy could see that behind his curiosity was fear. She had seen it before… but not on Oliver unless it was right after one of his night terrors. Seeing it now got her head ticking a bit but quickly filed it away for later. “It’s just that… Littles tend to have more problems… the kind you hear about on the news when they hold back. Creates issues for them here… I don’t know why…” Oliver’s eyes widened and Addy felt a pang of regret in her heart over what she had just told him. It was a white lie. Not huge because yes, Littles were vulnerable to regression when they held things back… it’s just that it usually dealt with conservative Littles not liking that type of Little and changing them to fit their wants and needs. Or… a Little could lash out from unresolved trauma and get regressed that way. Addy didn’t like telling her Littles those types of lies, but in this case… she also had a plan and knew she had to worm her way a little to get there. “But you know… I might just have a solution… if you’re willing that is…” Oliver looked down at his feet, seemingly contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Once he looked up though, he only silently nodded his head. Passed the second gate now, Addy knew she had to sell what was next… for his sake if nothing else. “It’s called the Lighthouse. Special design… it’s the latest in sleep technology. I won’t bore you with the details, but… it essentially let’s out like white or brown noise and allows you to sleep better.” She let that notion sit for a second. “So… what do you think? If you don’t want to share, that’s fine, but… a good night’s sleep might be nice to have, right?” The gears in Oliver’s head were clearly spinning, and that wasn’t a shock. Littles being offered technology was always the first step in their demise nearly every single time. It was the bait on the hook they would swallow… not knowing it was their doom until they were plucked out of their comforting environment and into the waiting arms of a Big. Still, much to Addy’s relief, Oliver nodded at last. “I’m in.” Addy nodded. “Perfect. I’ll put it in tonight.” Addy would do that, but she also knew she needed to fill out the appropriate paperwork and maybe even get the broken one they had stored in the basement. Still powerful as a sleep aid, the usual hypnotics laced into its function were pretty busted. With Dr. Tracey around… she didn’t want to take the risk of her popping on a functioning machine all the way. ‘Gotta make sure Dr. Halgen knows too… just as another pair of eyes on the device at least. Whatever he went through or even did, Oliver deserves that much…’ Checking her watch, she saw enough time had passed that Cassie and Robin would be done now. So, sighing, she got up and looked down at Oliver. “Now… are you ready to get healed today?” Oliver looked nervous, but nodding his head, quickly headed out and down to meet Bruce. “Okay, Oliver,” Bruce said in his usual sweet manor, his current beard now full and giving him ‘Daddy’ vibes all around… or at least as was noted by a Little apparently in the last batch. ‘Geesh… what was up with that batch?’ Addy shrugged and turned down to Oliver, the Little nervously twiddling his thumbs while Bruce put back some of the monitoring devices that confirmed that Oliver did indeed have stage 4 skin cancer… now imbedded in his stomach, skin, and tiny spots in his brain. “Alrighty then… are you ready for your first treatment today?” Oliver looked at the bags next to him that Bruce just hung up that contained the cure for his stage 4 skin cancer, something that he seemed to try and ‘power through’ but was also clearly putting a strain on him. With Katrina already having received her first treatment earlier, free to focus on her other little, Addy looked at her charge and noticed his pale skin. Inside, she was just grateful that they had got to him today rather than wait any longer. Already weak, though trying to hide it as much as possible, Addy nearly had to intervene several times lately to help him through his routines. This morning, she almost helped him to the bathroom… at least before he shooed her away. If she was being honest with herself though, as she looked down on him, while she didn’t feel as strong of a bond with him that she did with other Littles, especially after a week here, there was still something about him that seemed to draw her in further, nonetheless. Oliver however, barely showed any recognition of her, chasing her off anytime she offered to help… at least beyond his night terrors. So, it was a little bit of a surprise that after looking at the strangely colored liquid in the IV bags getting ready to be hooked up to his arm, he looked pleadingly up at Addy. “Do… do I have to ingest this green sh… stuff?” His voice, usually so confident, now seemed faint, on the verge of cracking even. For Addy, she heard that little weakness and maybe for the first time during the day with Oliver, it nearly tore her heart in two. Recognizing the same look of fear from his night terrors, Addy crouched down and grasped his hand. “It’s okay. It’s just some medicine. In fact… I think Bruce is going to set up a central line for you for your meds specifically, so we don’t have to prick you again. And the medicine has been used on so many Littles over the years. I promise, you’ll be fine.” The fear still lingered in the back of her mind about what happened with Mindy… but outwardly, Addy knew she had to stay strong. “Do I really need one?” Oliver asked, looking down at his surprisingly clear arm. In this place, not already having a central line was unusual, but Addy had just chalked it up either previously having given up or that Oliver had stopped treatment a while before he got here. With his redacted file, it was hard to know which.   Addy nodded her head sadly, always hating to add yet another burden to a Little’s life. “I’m afraid so. This treatment requires special medicine, and our IV needles for this cure are embedded with sensors to continually monitor your progress as the drugs enter your bloodstream. So… just one little prick and…” Bruce, his excellence attuned even greater over the years, used a butterfly IV, and with Oliver looking away, he only realized he was being pricked by the time it was all over. “Hey! I was…” Seeing the needle inserted already and not having felt any pain aside from maybe a tiny pinch from Bruce’s expert hands, he shook his head. “Damn! Didn’t even feel that sucker. I…” Almost like putting over a cloak of gruff manliness, Oliver glared back at Bruce. “Just tell me next time, okay? I’m not a baby who needs to be tricked…” Addy smiled at the comment and stroked his shoulder as a reassurance to his potentially bruised ego. “Of course. Sorry. Bruce is very good at his job and we’re just never sure how people will react to needles.” Seeing Oliver like this, just on the edge of vulnerability, she decided to push her luck. “Still… maybe you could give Bruce a thank you at least?” Oliver didn’t seem to appreciate the prompting by Addy… but he didn’t outright reject it either. Seeming to resolve on a middle ground of sorts, he looked at Bruce with a half-smile and nodded. “Thanks…” Bruce had honed his craft here over the years, and after a few mistakes in the beginning, he could absolutely tell when to push a Little… and when not to. As a carer for every Little who came in here, he needed to maintain trust with them, so being a Big while also being their friend was a very fine line to walk. So, when he only smiled and said, “No problem,” there was no hidden agenda he was trying to mask. It was pure acknowledgment of sorts and a courtesy back to Oliver. With the formalities out of the way and with Addy satisfied that Oliver had given into her wishes if only a little bit, she nodded to Bruce to start the medicine, the green liquid soon traveling slowly down and entering Oliver’s IV. Having been tested millions of times by now, it was the wonder drug that every spy from Earth wanted to get their hands on. Few aftereffects and even fewer complications as even mere possibilities, without question, it was the best medicine to cure cancer. So, Oliver now drifting into a meditative state of sorts was acting just like the others… peaceful and calm and nearly falling asleep. Until he wasn’t. A master at forcing his feelings down, his brow at first only wrinkled a few times. If he had been asleep, anyone would assume his dream was just strange, but the corners of his mouth soon began to twitch and formed into a visible and unmistakable grimace. When Oliver began to wince, though still trying to tamp all that down, Addy knew something was wrong. ‘No, no. Not again… this medicine works, damn it! I’ve seen it dozens of times now. I know it works.’ “Addy…” Bruce said softly, knocking Addy out of her own internal panic. “Needle?” His eyes gestured toward the exact same cabinet that she had once directed him to with Mindy. Seeing the gesture, Addy was flooded with a sea of memories. She had lost count of how many times they tried a new medicine with Mindy… only for it to fail and for Bruce to have to retrieve the rejection medicine once more over and over again. Seeing Oliver begin to squirm though; despite still not wanting to accept it, Addy attempted to put her best nurse’s face on and go to work to find out what was wrong. “Oliver? Oliver? It’s nurse Addy. Can you hear me? What’s going on?” “It… it… hurts!” he finally popped out. His eyes snapping open before shutting them in intense pain when even that seemed to be too much for him to handle. “H… how?” Addy asked, still trying to get her information to help him while her façade began to crumble as her gut began to groan in terror as a sinking feeling began to eclipse her once more. “It… it’s burning me! Ah!” Oliver yelled, his limbs contracting as if his internal organs were suddenly lighting on fire. “All over! My stomach! My chest! It… it burns, Addy! What’s in that medicine?” His panicking eyes searched all over and saw the IV. “You’re… you’re trying to kill me… ah! What did you give me?” He let out another scream of pain. Addy looked on, and despite not wanting to, and therefore admitting what was truly happening, she knew what she had to do. “Bruce… the sensor. New acquisition… let’s be sure…” Bruce looked questioningly at her but still followed her now outstretched finger to a nearby drawer. There, right beside the thermometer and tongue depressors, was a black instrument barely bigger than his hand. Uncertain but still picking it up, he held it to be inspected and approved. “This?” “Yes!” Addy was beginning to truly panic now. Oliver was thrashing around and yelling in agony as the drugs were ripping through his system, little welts now popping up over his skin and several of his arteries and veins bulging at every corner of his body. “Hurry!” Bruce raced over and handed the device to Addy. Getting it, she pressed the big button on the back and waited. The next 20 seconds seemed like a lifetime to her. Each second ticked by and her Little could do little but jolt and holler in pain. As focused as she was on her device, she didn’t notice the concerned crowd begin to gather outside. Finally, though, the device beeped. Looking down, Addy saw the words as clear as they could be, now flashing across the tiny screen. She had hoped for infection, some kind of unknown parasite fighting back… even a different form of undetectable cancer… but no. Instead, one word kept blinking and rattling around in her head, more dreadful to her in that one moment than a bullet; ‘Rejection.’ If Addy didn’t care about the others or how she would be seen or how her own panic would only make Oliver panic more himself, she might have broken down completely on the spot. ‘No, no, no! Not Mindy again! Please! Anything but that!’ She tried the device again, but already having scanned Oliver, it was faster and showed the same result soon after; ‘Rejection.’ Gasping in anguish, Addy with near tears in her eyes, looked up at Bruce. He knew what she knew and he had even seen Mindy with all this, but the big fellow still looked saddened when Addy gestured over to the cabinet. “The needle… now.” Nodding with both urgency and a sadness of his own, Bruce retrieved the needle dutifully. Sick Littles were bad enough, but Littles that rejected the common cure were far worse. For them, they only agreed to be here because they were usually knocking on death’s door. There were some exceptions, but sadly, for most, rejection always meant a hard path. Not always death… but a guaranteed tough road ahead. Wordlessly, Addy took the needle from Bruce, said a little prayer, and quickly stabbed Oliver in the chest. “Ah!” he exclaimed, taking a deep breath while also gripping his chest as the needle was pulled out. He breathed in heavily in short little breaths, panic and fear evident all over his face. Coughing a little, he then looked at Addy. “What… what the hell was that?” Addy, her heart already fragile, didn’t respond… seemingly in a state of shock. Bruce, seeing his friend and knowing her and why she was likely a little broken and traumatized, came over and set his hand on her shoulder. They didn’t say a word to each other, but as she looked back at him, his look was knowing… the look telling her that her grief was real and needed to be mourned… but that Oliver was the priority right now. It was cruel in a way… but there were a job and a contract here, and at Juventas, like it or not, it took priority over anything else… including one nurse’s feelings. Looking at her perplexed Little, Addy could see the same fear and confusion that she had once seen on Mindy’s face before. While Mindy showed vulnerability however, Oliver only seemed to exhibit rage with what had gone wrong… especially when he saw the little spots where his skin had broken out. Sighing and knowing he needed the truth, Addy pulled over a chair and sat down as Bruce cleared those that had gathered outside. Only minutes later, the gruff questioning exterior of Oliver had melted away. He was pissed that his contract now seemed to be still in effect while also still on the hook with his disease… but the rejection of the one working treatment available was evident to him as well. Both with their own burdens, neither Big nor Little said anything. Finally, though, Oliver looked up from where his eyes had settled on the floor and looked right at Addy. “Addy? Am… am I going to die?” All the air in the room seemed to vanish in a puff of horrible calamity. The one thing unspoken, was now uttered. It was out there in the universe, and it had smacked Addy as big and as hard as if a giant had done it themselves. Not being a Little and totally unused to that type of vantage, Addy could only blink and feel the sting of the words float around her… seeming to mock her and her past. Still though, a tiny part of her was still a nurse at this moment. Her patient had just asked a question, and with the seriousness of it, she knew she needed to answer regardless of how she felt. Her mind, however, went back to its old standby. ‘But Mindy.’ ‘But Mindy’ always seemed like the go-to reasoning for half of what she did in her life now. She was a harder person… but Mindy. She needed to just move on… but Mindy. She needed to help other Littles… but Mindy. She needed to forgive her dad and take her seat on the board to fix this company… but Mindy! She was a little piece of Addy’s heart that had been torn out, and now, Oliver was threatening to do the very same. So, as she stared back at Oliver’s uncharacteristically fearful eyes, eyes that questioned if death was now waiting for him around the corner, she knew the truth was yes. Yes, with no cure and with something deadly infesting his body and eating him away, death was now a possibility. Just like Mindy… the same death… the same pain to her heart… the same hand of a Little slipping from hers one day. Her heart cracked on the spot. And maybe that was the reason she wanted to lie… or at least give Oliver a lie of hope. She couldn’t lie to him outright, not when death was on the line. She had vowed after graduating to never do that. It was too cruel, even if it was coming from a place of kindness. Still, to tell him yes and that be the end of the conversation… Addy was sure it might have killed her right then and there to say those exact words. “Yes…” She only waited a second, but that second seemed to stretch as she watched Oliver’s face begin to sink and a little part of him seemed to break down from the realization that he might very well die… even here. “But I’m not giving up hope.” Already sniffling, though still trying but failing for the most part to keep his composure, Oliver looked back at her. “But… the cure? It… it didn’t work. Is… is there another?” It was truth time, but Addy wanted to add a splash of hope in that bitter truth as well. “No, but… there might be. This is just the well-known one. There might be another out there… somewhere…” Already feeling lighter, her brain started to go into overdrive, figuring out a plan of hope on the spot. “Need to figure out why it rejected you, but… I’m not giving up.” Oliver looked about ten seconds from either breaking down here in the room in front of her, or more likely, racing off to his room and then breaking down there. Seeing that, Addy sighed and came closer to him, taking his hands in hers before looking at him deep in the eyes. “Oliver… I’m not giving up. This isn’t the end. I’m willing to do the work… are you?” She almost didn’t even want to ask, but she knew she had to. Sometimes when past stage 4 cancer patients came here, after years of fighting, they had always said it was here or let nature take its course. So, for Oliver, with the cure failing and with more of a fight to come… she knew she had to at least ask. Oliver started to tremble, his balled little fists that Addy had gripped tightly beginning to shake. Addy wasn’t sure if he was about to cry or fight or yell at her and she knew what she wanted. She didn’t want… couldn’t take more like another Mindy. She wasn’t even sure she could accept if he said he wanted to let nature take its course… but she still listened in, her heart slowing and nearly stopping as he opened his mouth. Still trembling, he looked back at her, and though he winced, he also nodded. “I’m in…” Not even caring at this point, Addy pretty much lost it on the spot and sprang forward and hugged Oliver as tightly as she could like if she even let go for a second, death would already be waiting there to claim him and take him away from her forever. For Oliver though… at first, he seemed to reject her advance over his body. It was against the rules to do something like that at this stage without asking, as, simply put, a Litle could get pissed, fight back, and some might even void their contract or sue a Big. With their contract outlined very precisely, a Big could quickly find themselves in deep trouble. But a strange thing happened… After less than a minute, Oliver stopped struggling. It was a strange move for a Little insisting typically on so much bravado and strength around others. So instead of fight back, he slackened, and what’s more… less than twenty seconds later, he hugged her right back. No force from behind… no ultimatum. Just a pure gesture coming from somewhere deep down in the now terrified Little. It was a tiny moment between the two, but Addy felt his little arms snugly wrap around her. At first, it almost seemed like he was just reciprocating her own gesture… a ‘giving in’ type of situation. But when he only gripped her tighter… like he was suddenly afraid that he would be pulled away, Addy couldn’t help but smile. ‘I’ve got you, Oliver... I’ve got you and you’re not going anywhere. I will find a cure for you… no matter what it takes…’ She didn’t say a word, only allowing her hug to reassure the tiny and once so self-assured Little in her arms. There was a fight to come, and both were 100% invested now and would fight to the very end. If anyone looked in and saw them, however, they wouldn’t see two fighters… just a Little and a Big tenderly embracing in the warmest of hugs they could manage.

G-dang it! They get so close every year. Not a football fan but that QB is really something. 

I use Baby wipes.