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Sissy Room
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Posts
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By Little Sherri · Posted
I thought it was lovely; I never wore diapers to school, other than maybe preschool, with the exception of a couple of times, in the sixth grade. I had been making homemade diapers for a few months, ever since my parents stopped buying me real ones, because I had stopped wetting the bed. You might think that it was shortsighted of me to let them see my cards, rather than pretending that I still needed them, but as much as I liked wearing diapers, when I was at home and felt safe, at the same time, I liked making my parents proud, and I wanted them to see me as more grown up, and to let me have more privileges, and going to bed in taped-on plastic underpants did not look grown up. So, reluctantly, I left diapers behind... for a short time. I quickly realized that they were much more important to me than I had realized, and now that there were none available, I missed them terribly - there was an emptiness inside me, and a sense of serenity was gone. So, I started making homemade diapers out of household materials, chiefly pillow cases and towels and plastic bags, with safety pins that I bought for myself at the local drugstore. I so loved the feeling of being in my homemade diapers, but I only ever wore them at night, putting them on in the dark, after I had gone to bed. One day, when I woke up, I had the idea that I should just stay in them, and put my school clothes on overtop. I wore only one layer of diapers, so that they would not be too bulky or noticeable, and, with butterflies in my tummy, I boarded the school bus, gone now for the day with no choice but to wear what I was wearing, unless I was going to walk 5 kilometres back to my parents' house. I nearly got caught out in gym class, when one of the pins broke open, and I had to run into the changeroom, and into a bathroom stall, to pin the diaper back on. My gym teacher saw me run in there, and he followed, to make sure I was okay, thinking that perhaps I was ill. I had to reassure him with a shaking voice, as I struggled to close my embarrassing underpants, that I was okay in the stall, and did not need help. Later in the day, the pin let go again, this time in health class, but we were watching a movie for part of the class, and my desk was in the row next to the wall, so I waited until they turned the lights off, so that I could conduct my diaper repair. I was sure I had gotten away with it, but years later, a good friend told me that one of the boys in that class had told him that he'd seen me wearing a diaper in class, but my friend didn't believe him. So I had been spotted, but not by someone that anyone gave any credence to, thankfully. It sounds like Lila had a much better day than I would have, had anyone known about what I was wearing! -
By starfish1233 · Posted
It’s been forever since I have been here, and I assume that everyone else assumes I have completely abandoned my experimentation. Although the past few months have been full of roadblocks, I continue to press forward in my desire to either a) reach some point of peace where this is not a thing I seek out in my life; or b) develop some kind of peace with a solo practice that is sustainable and fulfilling. I would say that I don’t care which direction that goes in, but that would be at least a little bit of a lie - if I did not have hangups and blocks re: the kinks that I have that I don’t share with my partners, this wouldn’t be a struggle. First, my practical progress: although my patterns have been following more of a typical binge-purge cycle than I would like, I have made progress in being able to go in my diaper. Weirdly, this becomes much more difficult during my typical sleeping hours, and the quickest way I have found to get things going is to browse my phone, which is definitely not ideal. Standing and sitting are easy during waking hours at this point, although my practice with this tends to be only wearing for a minute or so before relieving myself and then immediately changing. This has not been helpful for getting used to the way that a pull up feels different than my usual underwear, especially at night. My ability to get restful sleep with a diaper on varies from genuinely forgetting that I have one on to feeling like I’ve been mentally aware all night. This is not helpful with a busy work schedule and a family life to maintain. During this time I have not restricted my porn use at all, and I have started watching my preferred inspiration with sound on. I’m not really sure what this says, other than I am trying very hard to remove the internal stigma that I have around these topics. Watching wetting videos and listening to people talk about it/through it has been a favorite, whether diapers are involved or not. My porn usage has not increased during this time like I feared that it might when I was more restrictive; typically I would decide not to ever indulge, get fixated on wetting/diapers again, go through a spurt of a lot of porn, and then back to shame. Now I notice that I am predictably more interested in touching myself around ovulation; a little less right before I get my period. Once or twice a day is typical for me, and I might decide to use porn instead of my imagination half the time. It has not been catastrophic to my sex life in any way, and if anything it has given me the start to how I might explore some of those themes with a partner. (To be discussed below.) When I feel shame or stress imagining myself in wetting scenarios that I find arousing, I have been trying to reframe it for myself. Although I might feel embarrassed or ashamed, my interest harms nobody. I am not including anyone in my play without consent, and I am not currently interested in exploring these things with a partner. I have a waterproof mattress cover on my bed by default. We have a washer and a dryer in my house. The very worst that happens is that I have to do some laundry and/or have some trash to throw away. AND YET. I don’t want to want this. That doesn’t change the desire, and I have yet to be able to will it away. I have a very robust kink life with my two non-nesting partners; we’ll call them Daddy and Sir, since their respective honorifics are Daddy and Sir. Daddy lives about an hour away from me, and although our visit pattern has been different this summer to accommodate some changing life needs on his end, we get an overnight every-other-week at minimum. This lends itself well to getting in scenes relatively regularly, and our comfort level has grown quite a bit in 3 years. I have admitted being into pee, although I was not specific about what that meant. (To be fair, the broad interpretations of that are also very accurate; other than putting it in my mouth, I’m down to experiment.) We’ve played twice with him peeing in the shower with me. The first time, I held him while he went, although standing behind him meant I couldn’t really see and couldn’t really tell. The second time, I stood facing him and he went on me. It was one of the hottest things that has ever happened to me. Maybe at some point we will expand on that or move it more in the direction of my particular favorites. I suppose that would require me to be even more open and vulnerable, and I don’t know if I’m interested in doing that yet. It is clear to me that wearing every night right now is not a thing that is going to happen, and the spot I am currently in is not really helping me move forward either, so it’s time to change tactics. It is definitely a hindrance that I want to wear when I am feeling frisky, but in the immediate aftermath of post-cum clarity I rarely feel the same kind of motivation. Not that the idea of wearing and wetting stops being interesting or attractive to me – the fact that I have lost entire afternoons to getting myself riled up again while continuing mental fantasy after finishing shows me that there’s something continuing. Because this has always been linked to masturbation for me, I have always assumed it was sexual. Persisting in my ongoing effort to understand myself, I have also been reading more kink-specific fanfiction. I assumed that stories where sex was not a component wouldn’t really do it for me, but that hasn’t been true. Hurt/comfort themes are a huge win; being found out and then supported instead of shamed is an easy win. Being forced into diapers, being shamed for being a little, or regression actually doesn’t really do anything for me. Despite the binky that Daddy uses as a combination gag/safeword mechanism, I’m not interested in acting like a baby. I don’t think labeling things is always helpful, but if I had to try to explain the vibe to an outsider, I would argue that I am much more middle than little. Stories where it is an adult acting like an adult - even an adult that is going through a traumatic time or whatever - are far, far more interesting to me than age regression. This falls in line with the kind of porn I prefer to watch also. Grown man in a diaper or wetting himself while playing video games? Yes please. Grown man in full ABDL paraphernalia? Less interesting. None of this is a judgement on anyone else; I am desperately, desperately trying to get an understanding of and a handle on myself here. Since I’m not really sure where to go from here, I have decided to set aside 1-3 nights a week at the beginning of the week. I will set aside time to be in my bedroom alone after everyone is ready to retreat to their respective nighttime activities. The idea is to have dedicated diaper time where I wear for longer periods of time and take away the internal debate about whether or not I should be wearing and/or using at this time. If it’s diaper night, it’s diaper night. When I have to pee during diaper night, I am going to go in my pull up. If I go before bed, I can sleep in my underwear if I want to. If I don’t, I’m going to try to go to bed with my pull up on and use it when I would normally get up for the bathroom. -
By bj & the bear · Posted
I wish the luvs sleepdrys would have took hold, I liked those as they had a plastic lined leak guard that truly stopped the wetness from going anywhere but the diaper. I would love to see a larger size of those come back to market. -
By Little Sherri · Posted
Wow, resurrected after 18 years. I would point out that Rearz & InControl use younger people in their ads all the time. But 18 years ago, Rearz, if they existed, would still have been in Waterloo. I discovered their store maybe a year or two before they close it. -
By bj & the bear · Posted
Well northshore is now making ads with younger people in diapers and you have people like bumblepree who are ambassadors for them. I think things are changing so to speak.
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