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Sissy Room
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Posts
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@Little Sherri NO IDEA where you live, BUT! If you are ever passing through I-81 between Wilkes-Barre & Scranton....I have a beer miser, LOTS of stereos, and plenty of decks of cards as what goes better with beer, snacks, good music (not loud) and playing cards??? If you are ANYWHERE near me, let me know....maybe I make a drive! I NEED a release and it as been one BRUTAL year...by the time the year ends, I will be at or over 200 Dr appointments. I was told by my Neurosurgeon (seeking a 2nd opinion only this moves like Molasses in January) as I was told (direct quote) "You're cervical spine is a DISASTER!" "Your Lumbar spine (historically the source of the majority of my pain), until several bulging discs in my Thoracic spine decided to cause muscle spasms that wake me up 2-10x/night with the 2 being me giving up and just going online or watching TV UNTIL the PAIN backs off, I can lie down and sleep....this is every night, on average between midnight-4AM although I have been incapable of lying down until almost 11AM several times, thankfully none in the past few weeks!) NEEDS a fusion (I REFUSE TO FUSE my L5/S1 as my Coccyx is the most diseased, jagged, nerve damaging pain inducing bone in my entire body and you want to fuse to that?!?!?!) but the one that set me off was "I very well may see you for EMERGENCY SURGERY at anytime in the near future, but right now, I am not willing to do ANYTHING!" I have appts (6 on one day, 2 on the next, 1 on the next and that is only the VA!) but the BIG ONE is with my pain mgmt TEAM, so they can set up whatever procedures, injections, radiofrequency ablations to BUY ME TIME and MAYBE allow me to SLEEP at night! We'll be discussing what to do, scheduling everything AND THEN beginning the process of getting a 2nd opinion to where i should had gone in the 1st place...University of Penn. My reason for not going there was them being STRAIGHT with me, telling me there is no way in hell they will do both parts of my spine during the same surgery while Jefferson told me "It isn't advised, but with everything you deal with post op, we may be able to accomodate you"./...THAT sentence cost me 10 trips to Philly, a place I sincerely WISH would be wiped off the face of the earth!!! I ALWAYS get forced off the wrong exit, prevented from getting off of the right one and I actually, for the 1st time in my life, had to pull my concealed carry out of the holster, rack one into the chamber and place in on top of my thigh as I wound up needing to go into Camden, due a U Turn, follow WAZE only WAZE does not know about a part of Philly called "THE BOTTOM"!!!! I NEVER want to see the bottom again as I had a "gentleman", along with 4 other GENTLEMEN (drug dealers...when the 1st thing you see when you pull onto a road is trolley tracks running down the middle of each lane AND a newer SUV, still smoldering from the night before, of course, missing the wheels and tires and on blocks,,,,you KNOW you are in the WRONG FUCKING PART OF THE CITY! OF COURSE, on a road with NO other traffic, I get a red light, and cady corner are the 5 gentlemen...one walked directly to the double yellow lines, rubbed the front ofhis pants, I ASSUME making sure his handgun that has a ground off serial number resided and I instantly pulled my little 9mm out, racked on in the chamber and removed the spare clip from the holster as he walked towards me, eyeballing me the entire time. I guess they don't see many white guys CRANKING Black Sabbath in a stereo on wheels, EASILY felt let alone heard) 500 feet away and he stopped 4-6" from my driver side window, eyeballing me and go for it! I watched his hands and IF they would had gone to where I knew his gun was, I was firing 9 trough the door, as I am not getting shredded with shards of shattered glass from my window that was up.....and after an eternity, the light FINALLY turned green without 1 vehicle pulling off of that street and that light seemed to stay red for 5 damn minutes, face to face with what you KNOW is a genuine GANGSTER with nothing to lose! But to be told "I MAY SEE YOU IN THE NEAR FUTURE, BUT! I am not willing to anything NOW?" WHY NOT tell me you'll be in a wheelchair for life inside of 5 years? I mean??? THAT fcked me up BADLY for months and i am FINALLY past it, figuring live life and what comes, comes...the past nearly 23 years of my life have been medical HELL, with no one having answers on my 24/7/365 (since Jan 18 2004) "headache" that has had me SCREAMING AT GD to PLEASE! JUST KILL ME ALREADY! That, which NO ONE (including the "best of the best, including 44 or 45 days in Jefferson Headache Center" only to come out with the MOST USELESS diagnosis EVER! NEW DAILY PERSISTEN HEADACHE! I do admit, Dr Wm Young is the MOST THOROUGH Dr. I have EVER been under the care of and after 6, 7 dozen spinal taps, hundreds of migraine,headache and "off label" prescriptions yet TWO things work, 1 I can't have more than a minimal amount of....Steroids and IV Dilaudid (I have the pill form of Dilauded, but it is USELESS once the headache reaches or exceeds an 8/10!) and you go to ANY Er today, face blown up like a balloon, eyes out of alignment, 120k+ pages of medical records yet you are STILL treated like a damn drug seeker....and then they WONDER WHY you want to tear their head off! Add to that my "MYSTERY" autoimmune disease (Gulf War Syndrome) that the VA has listed as me having Lupus (I have been tested for Lupus ALMOST AS frequently as Lyme disease, including out of my CSF fluid a few dozen times...I do NOT have Lupus, do not have Lyme disease...the CLOSEST autoimmune disease is "Adult Onset Stills Disease", but I am only 80-85% on that...so no one knows exactly WHAT destroyed my spine and much of the rest of my body although my heart, lungs, liver, kidneys etc. all look GREAT, meaning I will live 20, 30 more years and BEG TO DIE when the pain exceeds my ability to tolerate it. Then there's learning my spine is a future superfund site! AWESOME! With that stated, IF GIVEN the opportunity to meet new friends and have a good time doing so? I will take it! Besides, even if I was n good health...I LOVE a good time, used to always be the life of the party so...if you're 1-3 hours away and willing? Let me know! I am mostly free to do as I please so long as I am able to arrange someone to take care of my morons (2 dogs the wife adopted and left with e and I admit, I LOVE DOGS...but doing the work of 2 and taking care of 2 dogs who I could not properly train as she CONSTANTLY worked against me training them? OVERWHELMING at times. The GOOD thing is although they are medium to large dogs, they are HYPER FRIENDLY! They will lick you to death if you allow the to...I would LOVE to see someone they don't know walk through my unlocked doors as they will BEG ME to shoot them LOL....but outside of that, when I am there to introduce them? PAIN IN THE ASSES (NEED total attention in their own minds LOL), but once you get past the kneeling down so they can smell and kiss you, they will be your best damn friend for life! Trouble being, like everyone else I find I like, I have $10 that you live at least 8-12 hours away....same as all but ONE guy I like in my area and 1 guy I met last month who had car trouble at 9PM and was 4 miles from the exit to my house and luckily for him, I found the problem n 5 minuters, fixed it in 10 more. Corrosion left alone EATS connectors! So a soon to be Psychologist learned a valuable, easy to maintain lesson! Plus he is a hell of a nice guy I have been in contact with for 3 or 4 years....and honestly, it was NICE to FINALLY meet someone else from the community! He is a little over affectionate for my tastes but DID get the wire rope muscle in my back to relax, only for 1/2 hour but still! We had a beer, watched some TV and he had to go as he had school the next morning and he lives not too far over the NJ border (just over an hour away) and made it home minus the car problems he had looked at by 3 moron garages! GOD I am learning to HATE most of my peers in an industry I had loved since I was 10 and watched a guy melt the tires off of his Z28 that he had just built a hot rod engine for! I was HOOKED, even though every one of my college professors in tech college told me I belonged in college as an engineer as I devour math as if it is child's play yet I remember MAYBE 10-20% of what I USED TO LITERALLY be able to do in my head! I admit, I still love my work plus,, when dealing with a difficult problem? I am in heaven! I am incapable of thinking about what is wrong with my life as 100% of my brain is locked onto whatever problem I am chasing! Plus, I rarely make less than 75/hr...now, IOF ONLY my body would allow me to work 40-50 hours/week, I would be VERY well off! Have to send you a PM...have to get to know you and you me better! CptKirk -
By Baby Toni38 · Posted
Very relatable story, looking forward to reading more. -
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Pretty much it's just my diaper. Don't really like wearing anything else to bed really.
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