Sissy Room

This is chapter is a little longer. I'm still trying to stay mostly realistic, though there is obviously a little wish fulfillment and an overall sitcom approach to conflict and resolution that will continue. While I love reading stories like AB_Delane's "All My Mother's Rules" and "The Girl Who Wanted to Wear Diapers," I am less likely to go down similar paths. Writing this is a bit of escapism - might as well be happy :-).  And a favor - if you see typos, please point them out. I have the occasional mental lapse and switch up names. While I edit before I post, I often miss stuff. So please don't hesitate to point out any mistakes.   Jacob’s Dilemma Part Three Jacob experienced the impossible sensation of both feeling his heart stop while it also started beating a mile a minute. After a few moments, he hesitantly said, “why are you asking that?” “Well, I thought I heard Gavin say something about my pullup and how I must wear diapers just like him and you. And I found an actual diaper in the downstairs bathroom. And you have a diaper genie in your room. Do you wear diapers?” Jacob didn’t know what to say, so he just whispered, “sometimes. Please don’t tell anyone.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I don’t know. I was embarrassed.” “But you know I wear pullups.” “It’s different.” “How?” “It just is. Can we not talk about it now? I’ll explain it later.” “Ok, but I wish you had told me. I thought I was the only one that had to wear pullups.” “I’ll tell you at home later! I just don’t want to talk about it now.” “Fine.”   Jacob had no idea what he was going to say to Olivia. It was clear she was unhappy, however. She didn’t say a word to him the rest of the day. On the bus, she sat next to Jacob but spent the ride sulking. David started to ask them what was going on, but the angry look on Olivia’s face caused him to stay silent. For her part, Olivia’s mind was racing. She was really mad at Jacob, but she wasn’t sure why. He hadn’t really lied to her, but he could have told her he wore diapers! Did he think she would make fun of him? And why was it ok for everyone to know about her diapers but, not his? Did he not trust her? She kind of wanted to announce that Jacob wore diapers, but then Jacob had always been super nice to her and never told anyone about her pullups or that she sometimes still wet them.   When they got off the bus and started walking to the house, Jacob tried to talk to Olivia. “I’m sorry I never told you, I just didn’t know how.” “You could have just told me. I mean, I showed you my pullup at school. I trusted you. Why didn’t you trust me?” “It’s not that – I was just embarrassed.” “Do you think I wasn’t embarrassed when everyone found out about my pullup?” “You just seems so comfortable.” “Because the pullups are better than wet pants. And I had a friend I trusted who helped me. A friend who doesn’t trust me.” “Olivia, I’m sorry! I do trust you! It’s just… I don’t know.” “Whatever.”   With that, they walked in silence the last few steps to Jacob’s house. After they entered, Olivia said, “I’m going up to your room to work on my homework. Can you just leave me alone for a little while?” Jacob watched her walk up the stairs and then went to the kitchen. He wasn’t crying, but Maria could tell he was upset. She asked Gavin to head to his room or playroom to play for a minute. “What’s wrong?” “Olivia figured out I wore diapers and she’s mad at me.” “Why is she mad?” “Because I never told her.” “Oh.” “She’s upset I knew about her pullups but she didn’t know about my diapers. And she thinks I don’t trust her.” “And how are you feeling.” “She’s my best friend and I’m worried she won’t be my friend anymore.” At that Jacob’s tears started flowing. Maria walked over and pulled him into a tight hug.   Upstairs, Olivia put her bag down and fought back tears herself. To make matters worse, she had wet her pullup on the way home. She took her pants off and then caught sight of herself in her saggy pullup. “Why am I such a baby? I can’t even keep my pants dry.” She sniffed as she changed out of her wet pullup. She wiped herself with some baby wipes and then threw away the used pullup and wipes in the diaper genie. She then put on another pullup and sat down to do her homework – she often sat in just a pullup in her room when she was at home alone and decided it really didn’t matter now.   Downstairs, Jacob had stopped crying and sat at the table. Maria brought him a glass of water and sat across from him. “Jacob, I think her feelings are probably just a little hurt. She shared something very private with you and may feel like you didn’t trust her.” “But that’s not it!” “I know, but put yourself in her shoes.” “I know. I’d probably be upset, but I’d also be excited that I wasn’t the only one in diapers!” “Why don’t you go up and knock on the door and tell her what you said about her being your best friend?” “What if she won’t talk to me?” “Well, you should at least try. If you try, she might talk to you. If you don’t try, then she definitely won’t.”   Jacob took one more drink of water and walked slowly up the stairs. He knocked on his door. “Just leave me alone.” Jacob started to turn around, but then said, “Olivia, I’m really sorry. You’re my best friend. I should have told you, but I was scared. I just want to be your friend.” Jacob thought he heard a book close and footsteps. A moment later, Olivia opened the door a crack. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I was scared. I can tell you about it now if you want.” “Ok.” With that, she opened the door and walked back to Jacob’s beanbag and sank into it. For his part, Jacob couldn’t believe she was in just her pullup. She saw him looking and said, “it doesn’t really matter. You know I wear them. I’m more comfortable this way.” Jacob swallowed and said, “do you want me to just talk, or do you want to ask me questions?” “Just tell me why you wear diapers and why you didn’t tell me.” Jacob sat on the floor and took a deep breath. “I wear diapers because I like them. I told you about wetting my pants last year. I also told you about pooping my pants and getting put in a diaper. The first time that happened was a few days after I wet my pants at school.” “The first time?” Jacob blushed and then started talking rapidly, “yes, the first time. That time, mom put me in a diaper as a reminder that I’m a big boy. I didn’t use it and was really upset. But after it happened, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And when summer started, one day I went in my pants on purpose while I was playing. Mom saw me. She didn’t get mad and asked me what was going on. She asked me if I wanted a diaper, and I said yes.” Jacob couldn’t believe he had just told all of this to Olivia. He also realized he’d been staring at the ground and he didn’t remember breathing. He looked up at her and could see she didn’t look as mad any more. “Ok, but why do you have diaper genie now?” “Last summer after that happened, mom and dad pretty much let me wear a diaper when I wanted to around the house which was pretty much all the time.” “And they’re ok with it?” “Sort of – dad says he doesn’t change poopy diapers, but otherwise, last summer, yeah, they’d put me in a diaper whenever I wanted them to. But they did make me go see a special doctor to talk to about everything.” Olivia barely heard the last part  - she mainly heard Jacob say his parents put him in diapers. “So your mom and dad put you in a diaper? They change you like a baby?” Jacob blushed, “yes, that’s part of what I like about it. But now that school has started, most of the time after school if I want a diaper I put it on myself.” “But you never wear a diaper outside of the house?” Jacob started to say no, but stopped. Olivia noticed and said, “what – have you worn one at school before?” Jacob hesitated again, but the look on Olivia’s face told him to tell the whole truth. “I’ve never worn one to school, but last summer, one day at a store I had to go to the bathroom, but it was gross, so I tried to hold it in. I waited too long, though, and pooped my pants in a store. Mom was pretty mad. She took me to the family bathroom to clean up and let me pick between a diaper and underwear. I picked a diaper. It was really embarrassing because some little kids at the bathroom knew I pooped my pants and got put in a diaper.” When Jacob finished, they sat for a few minutes before Olivia spoke again. “Why didn’t you tell me? I guess I understand why you were nice to me at school at first, but I thought we were best friends.” “I was embarrassed. When I found out you were wearing a pullup, I almost told you. I kind of did tell you my mom put me in diapers after I pooped my pants one day.” “But you didn’t say it hadn’t been very long ago.” “No, I guess I didn’t know how to explain it. I thought you might think I was weird because I wanted to wear diapers instead of having to wear diapers. I guess I thought you needed them but didn’t like them.” “I guess it is kind of weird. But I’m the girl who started wearing pullups to school almost every day. You know I don’t wet my pants every day, right?” “Yeah, but you did wet them more than most people.” Now it was Olivia’s turn to blush. “Yeah, but I started wearing pullups more because it makes me feel safer. I don’t always need them, but I do feel better in them.” Olivia paused again before continuing. “And remember the first time you knew I wet my pullup? Do you remember what you asked?” “Yeah, I asked if you liked how it felt.” “And you said you liked how it felt when you peed your pants. That was the first time I thought about it. And I realized I do kind of like how it feels when I wet my pullups.” Jacob couldn’t think of anything to say for a moment. He finally said, “I really don’t want my friends to know.” “I didn’t really want everyone to know either, but they do.” “But you didn’t tell them – they just found out.” “Yeah, and they were nice to me. David stands up for me just like you do. They’ve been your friend a lot longer. I don’t think they’d stop being your friend if they knew.” “I guess if they find out, I’ll talk to them, but I don’t want to tell them.” “Ok, I won’t say anything.” They sat there for a few more minutes until Jacob finally said, “Olivia, I’m really sorry. You really are my best friend. I should have told you.” “You’re my best friend, too.”   While Jacob was feeling a little more at ease now that he had told Olivia everything, Olivia’s mind was absolutely racing. She did think it was a little weird that Jacob liked wearing diapers, but then wearing pullups was kind of her choice as well. She felt better when she wore a pullup to school, even when other people found out. And truth be told, she frequently wet her pullup on purpose. Though she told herself it was only when she wouldn’t make it to the bathroom or thought a bathroom was too dirty, she knew that over the last few months she also just liked how it felt. More than once, she had wet her pullup while doing homework in her room. She was also very, very curious about Jacob’s diapers. “Jacob, will you show me your diapers?” At that, Jacob was a mix of embarrassed and excited. “You want me to put one on?” “If you want to, but I just want to see your diaper stuff. You know what my pullups look like.” At that, Jacob went to his closet and grabbed the box where he hid his changing supplies and the box of diapers buried in the back of the closet. He pulled out the changing mat, powder and diaper rash ointment and sat them on the ground. As he reached for a diaper, Olivia said, “wow, so you really have like baby diaper stuff.” “Yeah – mom said if I was using a diaper, I needed to make sure not to get a rash. And I like how the powder smells.” He handed her one of her pampers; it was just like the one she found in the bathroom this morning. “What do they feel like?” “Probably a lot like your pullup. They’re really soft. And when they get wet, they get squishy and a little puffier.” “Would you let me try one?” “If you want to, but I should ask my mom first.” “I think I want to try one for bed tonight. Sometimes my pullups leak at night.” “My diapers have never leaked at night.” “I didn’t think you wet the bed anymore.” “Uh… I don’t wet the bed on accident. But when I wear a diaper to bed, I just use it if I have to go to the bathroom.” “I’ve done that before. Sometimes I’ll wake up before I wet the bed and just use the pullup and go back to sleep. Please don’t tell my mom.” “I won’t say anything. I’ll go get my mom now and see what she says.”   When Jacob had gone upstairs to talk to Olivia, Maria had followed him and sat down in the hallway near the kid’s bathroom. She wanted to be there in case everything went sideways. As she sat there, she wished that she had encouraged Jacob to open up more to Olivia. She also felt guilty that she had overlooked the diaper genie and had forgotten to get the diapers out of the downstairs bathroom. They had gotten so accustomed to Jacob’s diapers, that it was easy to forget to double-check everything in the house. When Jacob opened the door, Maria wasn’t sure what to expect. Jacob didn’t look upset, but he did look surprised to see her. “Mom, can you come in my room for a minute?” Maria stood up and followed Jacob into the room; she immediately saw the changing mat on the floor and Olivia holding a diaper. She also saw that Olivia was in just a pullup. Before she thought about it, she said, “Olivia, sweetie, I guess it’s ok to be in just a pullup in Jacob’s room, but if you come downstairs I need you to put on pants.” Olivia blushed and said, “I’m sorry – at home sometimes I just wear a pullup because it’s more comfortable.” “I understand; we just try to be careful around Gavin. He doesn’t always like seeing Jacob in a diaper.” “I’ll put pants on before I come downstairs Mrs. Cook.” “Thank you – now Jacob, what do you need?” “First, can I go put on a diaper? And then Olivia said she may want to try one on too.” Maria was a little surprised given how upset everyone was when they came home, but she figured that Olivia and Jacob would work things out. “Well, Jacob, you can put on a diaper, but the same rules apply as always. You need to cover it up downstairs. And I don’t think you should change in front of Olivia.” “MOM! I wasn’t going to change in front of Olivia!” “Well, ok, then. You can go put a diaper on in the bathroom while I talk to Olivia.” With that, Jacob grabbed a diaper and headed to the bathroom. When he left, Maria turned back to Olivia. “How are you doing?” “I’m ok. I was just sad Jacob didn’t tell me about his diapers.” “I know. And I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you as well. It’s not fun when people keep secrets from you.” “Yeah… he knows all about my diapers but didn’t tell me about his.” “You’re a very brave little girl. I’m glad you two talked it out.” “Jacob was my first friend here. He’s my best friend. I know he was embarrassed. I just don’t want to keep secrets.” “That sounds very fair. And he said you want to try a diaper?” Maria was a little surprised at Olivia’s reaction to the question. She was positively beaming. “YES! I want to try wearing one to bed. My pullups leak sometimes.” “Well, I’m ok with it, but we need to ask your mother. She is supposed to facetime us in a little bit – you can ask her then.” “Ok – I’ll ask her. Thank you, Mrs. Cook.” “You’re very welcome; now you and Jacob need to finish your homework.” At that, she stood up and reached for the door. Before she could open it, Jacob was barreling into the room wearing a diaper and his school shirt. “Hey, kiddo. I guess I’m ok with the two of you wearing just your diapers up here, but remember the rule about pants downstairs.” “I know, Mom!” “Ok, I’ll go grab your backpack for you, and then I’ll come up and get Olivia when her mom calls.” When she returned with the backpack, she heard the kids giggling. “Ok, you two. Make sure to get your homework done.” When Maria had left to get the backpack, Olivia couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. She couldn’t believe Jacob was sitting there in his diaper. “You look like a big baby!” “Hey, you have a diaper on, too!” “Mines a pullup!” “Whatever. We both pee our pants! Did my mom say you can wear a diaper?” “I have to ask my mom.” “Ok – I hope she says yes.” “Me too.” Somehow, the two focused just enough to get their homework done, though there was an interruption when Jacob said, “I’ve had to pee since we got home.” He didn’t say anything else and just relaxed his bladder into his diaper. Olivia stared as she could see the white diaper discolor slightly while Jacob peed. She concentrated for a moment and then wet her pullup and said, “I guess we’re even now.” Jacob laughed and kept working on his homework.   Olivia’s mom, Carolyn, called about an hour later. “Hey, Carolyn, how are you doing?” “I’m exhausted, but everything’s going pretty smoothly here. Thank you again for taking Olivia. I hope she hasn’t been any trouble.” “She’s a lovely person. But I need to warn you, we had a little drama today.” “Oh no, she does get upset pretty easy sometimes.” “This wasn’t her fault – she figured out Jacob wears diapers sometimes.” “Oh. And what was her reaction?” “She was upset that he hadn’t told her, but they talked it out and I think they are ok. I will owe you an apology, though. She may ask you if she can try one of Jacob’s diapers.” “Huh. I can’t say I expected my daughter to still be wearing pullups and to meet another kid who wears diapers. This situation is a little odd.” “I can’t argue with that. I feel like I’m just coasting along trying to figure out what to do.” “Honestly, it feels good to hear another parent say they don’t have the answers. And, to be honest, it’s nice that you’re kid is a little different too.” Maria laughed at that. “Yeah, anytime I think I know what I’m doing, one of the kids throws another wrench into the works. Don’t get me started on Gavin and pre-K right now.” “Maybe we need to get lunch again.” “I’d like that. But for now, I’ll go get Olivia. Oh, and what do you want me to do about the diaper thing?” “Honestly, I’ve tried to get her to wear diapers at night because her pullups leak and she wouldn’t do it! So I guess it’s fine.” “Are you ok if I need to help her?” “I guess. Ask her what’s she’s comfortable with. I trust you.”   After a few more minutes of small talk, Maria went to get Olivia to talk to her mom. They talked for a while about school and when Carolyn would be back. Finally, Carolyn broke the ice about the diapers. “Mrs. Cook told me that you and Jacob had a big conversation about diapers today.” “Yeah. He wears diapers. I was mad when I found out.” “Why were you mad? I thought it would be nice to have a friend who understood.” “It is, but he didn’t tell me!” “I know, sweetie, but I don’t think you really went around telling everyone about your pullups.” “Yeah… but I told Jacob. I wish he had just told me.” “But now that you know, Mrs. Cook said you may want to wear one to bed.” “Jacob says they are comfortable. And I know my pullups leak sometimes.” “That’s why I suggested diapers.” “MOM! I know. I guess now I kind of want to try.” “That’s fine. I talked to Mrs. Cook about it a little bit. You can try one tonight. Let the Cooks know if you need help.” “Ok.” “I have to go now – I’ll see you in a few days. I miss you.” “I miss you too, mom. I love you.” “I love you too.”   That night, after Jacob took his shower, he put on a diaper and his pajamas and headed downstairs so Olivia could have the bathroom and get ready for bed. After Olivia showered, she put on regular underwear and her nightgown and went downstairs. “Uh, Mrs. Cook, can I talk to you for a minute?” “Of course! What do you need?” “I need help with, well, you know.” “Ok – head up to Jacob’s room.” Olivia went up the stairs with Maria following behind. Once in Jacob’s bedroom, Maria asked, “do you want me to help you put the diaper on, or do you want to do it yourself?” Olivia had been thinking about this. While she almost always handled her pullups on her on, she wasn’t sure about diapers. And she was curious what it would be like to be diapered. Jacob had said he liked how it felt when his parents diapered him. “Can you help me, please?” Maria sighed. “Do you want a full diapering treatment with powder or just get the diaper on fast?” “Powder, I guess.” “Ok, Olivia. Let’s put the mat down and I’ll get you diapered.” Maria laid out the mat and the supplies and said, “ok, you need to lay down here.” Olivia laid down on the mat. She felt her heart start to race a little as she laid there. Maria said, “I need you to bend your legs and lift your hips a little so I can raise your gown up and get your underwear off.” Olivia lifted her hips and stared at the ceiling. She felt Maria gently lift her gown and remove her underwear, then lowered herself back down. “Ok, I need you to lift your hips one more time so I can slide the diaper under you.” Olivia complied. After the diaper was under her, Maria said, “Ok, I’m going to put a little powder on you, but no cream for now. If I see any sign of a rash tomorrow, we’ll use cream.” Maria then powdered her, pulled the front of the diaper up and taped Olivia’s diaper. She then said, “All done!” And gently reached for Olivia’s hand to help her up. “Ok, do you want to come back downstairs, or do you want to go ahead and lay down?” “I think I’ll stay up here. Do we need to get Jacob’s mattress and sleeping bag ready?” “Sure – I’ll go get Mr. Cook so he can help.” When Maria left the room, Olivia went over to the mirror and lifted her nightgown. She wasn’t at all sure what she thought of the diaper, but she had to admit that it felt nice. She thought she looked even younger than she did with the pullup. Six months ago, that would have been very upsetting to her. Now? She really didn’t know. While having Mrs. Cook change her diaper had been very awkward, she had kind of liked it. And she really liked the smell of the baby powder.   Jacob came in the room with his dad to help set up the air mattress. It was very obvious to Olivia he had a diaper on under his pajama pants. Once his dad left, Jacob took his pants off. He noticed Olivia staring and felt shy for a moment even though he’d wet his diaper in front of her earlier. “When I wear a diaper to bed, I like to just sleep in the diaper.” “That sounds nice – I always wear nightgowns because it’s easier with my pullups.” Jacob was a little confused at the statement – was she saying she was in a pullup? He thought his mom had helped her put on a diaper. So he just asked, “Are you wearing a real diaper or a pullup?” She laughed and lifted the hem of her nightgown, revealing her diaper. “We’re both big babies now.” Jacob laughed a little as they both crawled into their beds. As they both laid there, Olivia said, “thank you for telling me about your diapers. I promise I won’t keep any secrets from you if you don’t keep any from me.” “I’m sorry I was scared to tell you – I promise not to keep any more secrets.” With that, they drifted off to sleep.

Aaaand here it is. The part I've not been looking forward to. It's like having a front row seat to a train wreck and someone was kind enough to change your perception so you can watch it in slow motion. Gabby barely got through the last round and Ffrances is very short on patience now.

im wearing a wet n messy critter caboose from overnight.

Northshore MegaMax 😎