Mommies and Daddies

Just checking in to see if there are any abdl Girls who love to wear there diaper’s 24/7 in the Grande Prairie Alberta Canada area I’d love to be your daddy or your other abdl lover shoot me a message or pm me is ok 

UPDATE! MRIs: NO NECROSIS, supposedly a totally torn muscle in my groin! AWESOME! Cervical spine? "SIGNIFICANT DEGRADATION" since my last MRI (March?) and I FEEL it, muscles between my shoulders in CONSTANT spasm...can't sleep at night due to the PAIN being INDESCRIBABLE! Feels like my muscles are TRYING to make my shoulder blades touch! I also have everything fall out of my hands, CONTINUOUSLY! WAY WORSE then even 6 months ago....CAN'T text much on a phone....hands work well so long as I'm using my arms/hands (lifelong professional mechanic...disabled), sold my shop (KILLED ME, but HAD TO!) but I LOVE working, I am amongst the best around and I make AT LEAST $75+/hr/CASH, and have 10x more work than my partner and I can EVER handle! That's good, I CAN'T think about my problems when I am trying to diagnose or repair a vehicle that 10 people butchered before I was called (DRIVES ME INSANE! 95% of "Technicians* should be FIRED INSTANTLY today...glorified parts changers!) , and hands still work when using my arms but CAN'T hold a cell phone, a book, magazine...will fall out of my hands no matter what! I have TREMENDOUS hand/forearm/wrist strength, so that is not the problem. NERVES are INCREDIBLE, and I KNOW with how BAD this has become as fast as it has become I am GRATEFUL I have a new neurosurgeon as the longer this waits, the lower the chances of the nerve damage slowly recovering! Lumbar spine, ALMOST AS BAD........L5/S1 BEYOND destroyed, also now have 2 BADLY BULGING discs and lost 1.1 & 1.7mm on 2 other vertebrae, which is a MASSIVE amount in such a short period of time. FULL incontinence has been worsening for almost (maybe over) 3 years now..went from 3-5 "episodes*/month to 4-8/week! GOD PLEASE NO! I can handle U IC..been living with Neurogenic bladder since 2004 but bowel IC? When home, not thrilled, but easily handled. When asleep? PISSES ME OFF! PAIN wakes me up within 20-90 minutes of going to bed, and I see most sunrises and then, miracuously, I CAN SLEEP! HOW ON EARTH can a MASSIVE amount that is 4" up my back come out of me without waking me up! this is not liquid! This is POOP! THANK GOD I sleep on a pair (staggered, adjustable bed, gravity makes leaks run downhill!) but being I CAN'T SMELL right now, I have NO IDEA until I go to move, and instantly KNOW! 1st time I was upset....tTHEN PSSED OFF, BADLY and now??? Just shake my head, grab a BOS bag, get in the shower, remove dirty diaper, tie off BOS bag (Going to tr Northshore's bags as Adam has been INCREDIBLE to me and so many others in the community! ONE pair of companies in particular can REALLY LEARN something from Northshore, LLMedico etc.!!! NO NEED to name them, everyone who has ever received the wrong size, wrong product already KNOWS exactly how DISGUSTING they are as a supplier! The worst is when shopping? HORRIFYING! Constantly moving to empty parts of the store while being able to see 1 of 2 women who KNOW me,KNOW I have "problems" (I coached the one woman's' 2 sons and her niece in football & 2/3 in wrestling and yes, the niece was an AWESOME wrestler, almost had 50 wins in one season as she won 7 or 8 tournaments including 4 2 day tourneys with as many as 50+ at her weight!  The other knows me from friends, both know I am significantly disabled and both obviously can smell! I HIDE in empty parts of the store, move when someone gets within eyesight of me, until they're almost done with no line and they take care of me! They'll see me coming, signaling them, close their lanes, shut off their lights, put up their lane closed sign and if someone is trying to get ahead of me, they lie, tell whoever I am 1st as my last milk or whatever was leaking, so they have to wait on me 1st and they're closing after me. I AM SO GRATEFUL TO BOTH, as I NEED sinus surgery (OCT 6th!) which is MAJOR..last time I had this in late 04 or early 05, ICU, intubated for 6 days, 2 more weeks hospitalized afterwards due to my autoimmune issues WILDLY flaring EVERY SINGLE TIME I have invasive surgery! Spinal surgery is FAR WORSE, have wound up INCAPABLE of moving below my waist anywhere from 2 1/2 days to 20+....can't move, can't wiggle my toes but HOLY SHIT do I FEEL PAIN! To date, I have had over a dozen spinal surgeries (never anything "major", most invasive was a pain pump implant which allowed me to go from a walker/wheelchair to a cane on most days..I can even go short distances without a cane on HOT/HUMID days (LOVE 90+++), sadly haven't seen much of that this summer! I feel half human when it is HOT/HUMID! My Family all live within 9 miles as do 90% of my TRUE friends (literally over 2 dozen! BLESSED!).....all within a half hour, most MUCH closer so SADLY, I am kind of STUCK as my entire support system is HERE! When I am unable to move below my waist, I SUFFER TREMENDOUSLY! When they have to bathe me, change my diaper....move me...I am always on 2mg IV Dilaudid anywhere from every 90-120 minutes (Missing 2/3 of the pain med receptors in my brain, and score"off the charts" as a "HYPER METABOLIZER" which EVERY DR. who operates on me MUST KNOW IN ADVANCE...I carry those test results with me, 1st done in '12, repeated more recently ('23, I THINK, much more specific/comprehensive) which list ALL of the receptors I lack (VA calls this their "PHASER" test) and I DEMAND the Dr. CALLS my non VA PCP & non VA Rheumatologist as BOTH have been with me since 10-11 months after life as I knew it slammed into a wall on Jan 18, 2004, head on at 300mph....PLUS my VA Pain MGMT. Team, as ALL will not only confirm what I tell them IS 100% TRUE, but will explain to them exactly what they've WITNESSED with their own two eyes as both told me that NO ONE will believe this until they witness this! AWESOME! I got into a WAR with my last Neurosurgeon, as he told me "that's impossible" and then proceeded to blame my Dr's, my Pain Mgmt.Drs, the VA, ME! I lost it after that appt, Cried in a RAGE within 1/2 mile of leaving, bent my steering wheel so badly it could not be turned! NO IDEA HOW, NO MEMORY OF THAT...THANK GOD  travel with tools, 1 of which is a 42" Snap-On Pry Bar...so I was able to get it too where i could safely drive it but HAD TO replace my steering wheel & Airbag! I have not been able to cry (even when I was MAD AT MYSELF for not being able to, in 35, 40 years? That guy DECIMATED MY LIFE for over a month and I LOVE he has problems now with the Board of Directors! I asked them IF I could have 3 minutes alone with him in a locked room, but they declined my offer LOL.....I may be a shell of what I once was, but 7 1/2 years wrestling and 15 more as a coach? I like my chances, especially with my hand and leg strength still being WELL above average! I'D PAY to be locked in a room with this ULTRA ARROGANT, MALICIOUS son of a BITCH! I can't understand HOW someone decimates you SO BADLY,, you CAN'T EAT! As soon as I was called by the Supervisor (have his name and number now...he was in Alaska for 3 weeks, thus the delay NOT hearing anything) but after hearing from him, being told the other guy "has problems" and I have a NEW neurosurgeon, an appt on 8/20? Felt like the weight of the world was removed from my shoulders and I WAS HUNGRY! Granted, I can't eat HALF what I used to...but I'm AIMING to have o excess body fat again...don't know I will ever get there...I am lighter now than I was when I got sick (well, WAS, may be when I POOP!) but have at least 20-25 more to go to lean out...something I worked my ASS OFF FOR from the age of 12 until I got sick weeks before my 34th birthday. By 37, Osteoporosis in my spine (and ONLY in my spine???) and my once "DEFORMED" body no longer looked amazing anymore! I AM SO THRILLED they record all appts (have to consent to it at the start of each appt!) and the supervisor NEVER heard a more "UNPROFESSIONAL" appt in his 30+ years, 1st time he EVER had to "kick it upstairs", which meant the board of directors @ Jefferson University Hospital and this guy NEVER had 1 complaint in 15-20 years, now there's over a dozen since my appt on July 1st (I went from July 1st to Aug 4th with ZERO appetite! COULD NOT EAT, WAS NOT HUNGRY, lost 27lbs (I've been losing weight as hard as a disabled/half crippled guy can! I've been losing (3-5lbs/month since I began working with a Nutritionist, including losing 8lbs last winter, 1st winter since I got sick on Jan 18, 2004 I LOST WEIGHT in the winter as I FREQUENTLY CAN'T even get out of bed in the winter, cold fronts KILL ME...so those WARM winter days everyone loves, KILL ME when the temp drops 15-50 degrees within 24-48 hours! I've lost as much as 45lbs from May-end of Sept and ALWAYS put most or all of it back on every winter.....AWESOME when your wife (no longer lives here, NOT YET divorced, she has TREMENDOUS debt, her inheritance will negate this!) but she is a HUGE Narcissist, when my kids were little, she moved my hospital bed from the living room to the basement, even though I was unable to stand/walk and when I asked her HOW THE FUCK am I getting up/down the stairs, she told me "NOT MY PROBLEM"!!!! She'd HEAR ME SCREAMING for help when I had to go to the bathroom...would wait until I had a dirty diaper, bring my young sons down, have them point and laugh at me...They were way too young to understand, I don't blame them...gives you an idea WHO I married! I CAN'T WAIT until she is no longer an integral part of my life! WOULD HAD divorce in 2005, but learned I stood NO CHANCE of gaining custody of my sons, so I took YEARS of  emotional, verbal and physical abuse, and have PTSD (1 of 3 PTSD diagnoses') and WOW did she make my life MISERABLE! I am HOPING to meet someone NORMAL! WILL do this, I have little problems getting dates, just 3 alcoholics and a QUEEN found me in the past year and NO! NO WAY IN HELL! WHY are women with great personalities so hard to find??? IF NOT FOR MY SONS??? I'd build a time machine and tell her to FUCK OFF! THAT GREAT! Shame I'd have sons not who they are today! So, I live with learning who she REALLY is, but NOT UNTIL I got sick, my monstrous build had 92lbs added to it in under 3 years from HIGH dose steroids, was as high as 324! I am 231 now, gained 3lbs since Aug 4th (have not gone to the bathroom since Monday, so likely 2+ lbs less but I ate next to nothing for over a month, Dr's were yelling at me, was given samples of protein shakes but even then? 8 all month....NO APPETITE, PERIOD!  THANK GOD I NEVER will see that MOTHER F***** again, NEW Neurosurgeon, appt on Aug 20th, likely spinal reconstruction surgery in Nov/Dec as was the original plan! My apologies for the "colorful" language...IF AN ISSUE, I will edit this...HARD to write politely when the PAIN is literally ER level, but it is ER level EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I have top tier pain meds, but there's NO HOPE with oral meds with this kind of pain.....IV pain meds are the ONLY meds that can control this...and I SO HATE ERs as chronic pain patients, EVEN FULLY DISABLED VETERANS, PAY for the sins of others and are INSTANTLY treated as "drug seekers" and I REFUSE to be treated as such, and REALLY do not feel like being arrested for knocking out a Dr's teeth! Again, IF AN ISSUE, please say so, I'll "clean it up" tomorrow as my pain during the day is controllable with oral pain meds, and I am able to think more clearly and NOT curse as much! The truth is I am TERRIFIED of spinal reconstruction surgery, especially as instead of 6-8 levels, I may now need 2 discectomies AND 2-3 more levels reconstructed! First ff, I CAN WALK NOW! Yes, it HURTS, but I am able! Second, my body goes INSANE (autoimmune that lines up with ZERO known autoimmune diseases, I have a 24/7/365 "headache" that is NO headache, NO Migraine! Feels exactly as if there is something inside of my skull, trying to drive my eyeballs out of their sockets! It is as good as it ever will be in the heat, but from early-mid october through April (this year was almost June!) I SUFFER, HORRIFICALLY!  KNOW I LIKELY end up feeling better than I have in DECADES...but between the day of the surgery and then? My "headache" will be OFF THE CHARTS the instant I wake up and remain there for weeks to months....I am afraid of blowing my 20_ days incapable of moving below my waist OUT OF THE WATER as all of my inflammation markers SKYROCKET, and I can't have repeated doses of Methylprednisolone any longer or even oral Prednisone due to osteoporosis in my spine! SO.........IV pain meds that are NEVER enough post op for at least a few weeks! PAIN BEYOND WHAT I CAN ARTICULATE!    Pray for me! I NEED IT! I know many need it, I am willing t share it with them...there's enough to go around! I am NOT a "church guy" (nothing but megachurches near me, plus I CAN'T go as I can't sleep until sunrise, usually wake up at 10:30-11, and that is not enough, so 3-5x/month my body revols and I sleep until mid to late afternoon, which I DETEST as that is a wasted day! ANYWAY...NOT a "GREAT" update, except for the no Necrosis part although my Dr's told me eventually, I likely face that regardless...but a completely torn muscle doesn't sound like fun! THE MRI changes SCARE ME, as WOW did this DRAMATICALLY accelerate! Believe me, I can feel it HORRIBLY! I have to look on the bright side though...I learn when I have surgery next week! My sinuses will be fixed (again) and HOPEFULLY, I CAN SMELL AGAIN! Looking forward to that part! I miss the smell of right before a thunderstorm on a hot, humid day,. I miss the smell of me melting the tires off of my 600+ HP Monte Carlo, especially when running CAMII race fuel, even though my drag racing days on the track are WAY BACK in my rearview mirror! I still buy that when I find it just so I can smell it, and now? I CAN'T!  I also believe I found a new home here! Many of my friends have come or are coming, I have "met" some GREAT people, REALLY impressed as everything I had heard that kept me from being a "regular" here is proving to be "misguided"! I will be a REGULAR here forever I believe! I also am LIKELY coaching youth football again (26 yrs total, 7 on the HS level, the rest youth ball) as a new team needs a coach for the little guys and I have coached 5-7 yr olds before, and I learned at least as much from them as I was able to teach...and it gives me a purpose again! I TRULY ENJOY coaching, and I am VERY GOOD at it! Now, I have to see IF I can convince some of my former assistant coaches to "come out of retirement" as  100% NEED 2-4 assistant coaches, depending on how many kids are on the team as I am 100% about making my weakest link stronger, and REFUSE TO ALLOW "DADDY BALL". where the QB is only the QB because DADDY coaches. NOT ON MY TEAM...NOT NOW NOT EVER! Every single player will be placed in the position that most benefits the TEAM, and I am GREAT at building a TEAM.....wins/losses are my least concern...IF I do a good enough job, we will win, period! If not? We will HAVE FUN! Too many people forget these kids will never remember games won/lost, but WILL 100% remember they learned, and HAD FUN! Looking forward to this...meet on Sunday! APPRECIATE the comments, well wishes and prayers!  THANK ALL OF YOU! CptKirk

Okay, I think we're a little out of sync here, as the corresponding chapter of The Last New Start (107) has already gone past quite a while ago. But I hope that doesn't detract from the story.   102. My Disappointment That guy’s name was Isaac. I had remembered it in the middle of the afternoon after I visited his shop. If anyone had been paying attention, they would have seen me look up from my computer and mutter “Isaac. Damn.” in the middle of an otherwise busy afternoon of typing. But a bunch of people in our office were off doing all kinds of administrative tasks, and the only person who was paying me any kind of attention was Carter. I’d started wondering if she was up to something, the way she kept giving me sideways glances when she didn’t think I was looking. But I quickly dismissed that; spoiled little rich kid couldn’t have any skills in subterfuge. She was probably just feeling guilty about how much time she had spent answering messages on her phone lately, and knew I was the only one who paid enough attention to notice what she was doing aside from her work. Her distractions had reduced slightly over the last week, but she was still on her phone a lot more than I had seen last year, and that made me worry. Over the following week, I’d occasionally remembered the skinny old guy’s name, reassuring myself that I would know it when I actually got to see him again. I’d also read up all the news about the New Ark comic series that Ffrances had seemed so interested in. The original series was a standalone comic consisting of three parts, named bronze, silver, and gold. It had later been rewritten as a part of the Millhouse Underground universe, and that was why Ffrances was talking about it now. MK had apparently been working on a third version of the same story, a reboot which fleshed out some of the background characters and reintroduced details from the original Ark series that had been dropped in the first rewrite. The third part, Unbroken Ring, was based on the older Golden Ark comics, but it was rumoured the revised edition would also add new backstory to Cerberus Shark’s long-dead cousin; who I had recently encountered when I started reading that Canon Flash book. That made me wonder if the new ‘Gold Ring’, as the fans had taken to calling it, was going to include more than a few hints about the upcoming movie. That wasn’t the important part. What really mattered was that this was something Ffrances really wanted; and supplies were extremely limited. It would be a perfect gift for her, if my industry connections could help me secure a copy. Of course, it wasn’t a straight up case of asking the guys from Claughton, even if they would like to help. Because Claughton Innovative was sponsoring and promoting the movies, but didn’t have direct access to the comics market. If I wanted to be sure of getting one of the rare issues that I needed, the only option was to find something Isaac wanted from the movie people, and then ingratiate myself into the production far enough that I would be able to get it. That sounded like a lot of effort. More subterfuge would be needed; it would likely be even tougher than the hoops I’d had to jump through to make Tess my little. But I knew it would be worth it if I could pull it off. And I was already thinking about who I could talk to, and how I could set up events the way I wanted. It helped that SYL was doing just about every kind of administration and logistics for Claughton now, so we might almost be the same company. And I knew there were a few people on the CI side who had been impressed when they met my family at the secret premiere. If I just kept my wits about me and did my best to understand the people around me and what they wanted, I could find exactly what I needed. I was distracted from that train of thought when a notification popped up in the corner of my screen. It was an application called ZoneWatcher, which I’d set up to alert me when there was movement visible on one of the webcams I had left at home. I wanted to know what Ffrances and Tess were talking about when I wasn’t there. Just in case I found out that all my efforts were futile; although there was no way I could believe that. I wanted to understand how they were feeling, so I could ensure that all my plans would go smoothly. They were in the kitchen now, fixing something quick for dinner. I’d said that I might be home late again, and I fully expected to have a short break for a burger or something rather than a proper meal. Ffrances knew her way around the kitchen better than I did, I suspected, and Tess was more than happy to help. I would have told her that she didn’t need to, because it didn’t seem appropriate for a little to be doing cooking and chores. But if I tried to imagine her as a real child, asking to help out when she didn’t know how, I could see it would be a lot of fun for her. “… I could do with a break from stress tonight,” Tess was saying. “Everything seems to have landed at once. I mean, I’m coping… but…” “It happens to all of us,” Ffrances comforted her. “And we all have our ways to unwind. I think that’s what it is for a lot of littles. Not needing to think about all those things in your future. Just having fun with the toys at hand, and you don’t need to think about Mr Mason or anything else. Right?” “I guess,” Tess blushed a little as she answered. “But I’d feel bad about enjoying myself when there’s things I’m responsible for. But maybe a little break, I might take that.” “I think Gabby already tried to use that as an excuse, didn’t she? Sometimes when you’ve got the world on your shoulders, you’ll refuse to take a break because you feel obliged to keep on going, and that’s when you need somebody else to tell you that you’re working too hard.” “Somebody who’ll see that I’m neglecting my health and just tell me I have to…. Like somebody I trust to tell me that I have to regress. I mean, I can see some people would need that, but I don’t think it’s for me. If I’m pushing myself it’s because I enjoy the responsibility. It makes me feel alive, and I think the most I need would be a short break. Maybe I’ve got a problem, there’s proof enough for that, but I don’t feel stressed. I guess Gabby must be right. She said she was going to make me regress if she thought I needed it. When we gave her the ultimatum. And I told her that’s never going to happen. Or… well…” “I wish somebody would do that for me sometimes,” Ffrances laughed. “We’re on an easy bit at work now. But over Christmas, when I came home completely shattered, there was always a part of me hoping that she’d push me into being a baby like she does for you. Just so I don’t have to be in charge of everything and making all the decisions at home as well. But, well… you know Gabby. I love her, but she thinks too much of me. She never imagines for a second that I’m struggling with the pressure. And that confidence is lovely, but…” “But you just want to be her little girl once in a while. For a break.” “Yeah. But you’re distracting me now, aren’t you? You were talking about being forced to take a break when you’re too proud to accept it. Being pushed into littlespace because you won’t admit how much you need it. Did you tell her that’s unacceptable, or not?” “I don’t think I’d ever need that. I thrive on pressure. And of all the times I’ve been little, the part I enjoyed most was looking after you. But I don’t know psychology, and I don’t know what my emotional state looks like from the outside. So I had to admit that someday, maybe, there’ll be a time it would help me. Not having the choice. So I said… I can’t remember exactly what it was. But now, I think we should say that a decision like that needs input from people close to me, and who can see every side of my life. So you can regress me when I say so, or when… I guess that’s another reason I wanted Spike to understand all this. Everything that’s going on in my life now, all the things I feel like I have to keep secret, I’ve confided in him or you. Both for a lot of stuff. So I promised that if he agrees I need a break, I won’t refuse. If Gabby wants to force me to be a kid because she thinks I’m stressing, she needs both you and Spike to agree to it.” I vaguely remembered that conversation, and I was playing it back in my mind now. This  time, hearing her explain it again to Ffrances, I started to feel like I understood where she was coming from. It wasn’t like she was trying to be all independent, like it had first seemed. It was because I couldn’t really see what was going on in her school life, and what her friends were saying. Perhaps if she came home and vented about some teacher picking on her, all she needed was to get it out of her system, and I didn’t need to worry. It would need people on both sides of her life to be sure how something was really affecting her. I just wish she’d chosen someone more reliable than that boy. And Ffrances as well, I couldn’t believe what she had just said. Why had she never said that to me? She must have known for a couple of years that I wanted a little, but the only times she’d mentioned it she’d made it seem like a joke. But the things she was saying, about using it as a contrast to the stress of work, that was something I had read quite a lot about. It was the motivation for a lot of people who wanted to be young again, especially the non-sexual littles. If she could speak about it so eloquently, then perhaps she was wondering if regression could help her. Had she really been exploring a genuine interest, and just passing it off as something she was doing to help Tess accept the role? I realised after a second that I was spacing out, and hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation on my screen. I needed to listen, so that I could decide whether to keep on working and let them enjoy themselves, or to head home and come in early tomorrow instead. “… rather keep my adult sensibilities right now,” Tess was saying. “I mean yeah, it might be a way to blow off steam. And I’m really looking forward to you-know-what. But if I’m feeling little, sometimes I stay a little giggly for the rest of the evening, sometimes into the morning. Not good when you need to be giving an explanation to a head of year first thing in the morning. I’d rather be sure that I’m two hundred percent on the ball. This is such a big deal, you know, if I screw it up the repercussions could be bouncing around all the way to graduation.” That was enough. I didn’t need to listen to any more of that. I knew that I needed to be home to talk to Tess, and that I needed to make sure that this problem was resolved correctly. Raybridge High didn’t divide the students into houses, so the heads of year were the ultimate source of authority and discipline for the students; the people in charge. If Tess had done something serious enough to warrant their attention, then I needed to be there in place of her parents, and I couldn’t believe that she’d let it get this far without even telling me. I wrapped up my work as quickly as possible, and it was a real effort of will to adhere to the speed limit the whole way home. When I came through the door, I still didn’t know what I was going to say. But I knew that I had to get the truth out of her, and make sure she knew that she needed the help of an adult in times like this. “Hi babe,” Ffrances was still in the kitchen, apparently warming up another portion of curry for me. “You look tense. Here, let me…” She started to massage my shoulders, and then I felt her breath on my ear as she commanded: “Relax. Drop now.” She lowered me into one of the chairs at the kitchen table as my legs were suddenly too weak to stand and my eyes closed. “Now, you look stressed, and I’d like you to relax. And Tess has had a bit of a rough day, so you need to let her relax too. Don’t interrupt her homework, because she has a big day tomorrow and wants to get an early night. I am so proud of her. She’s going to sleep in the spare room, so she can feel as adult as possible, and I’ve already told her not to have an accident, just to be sure. So if she has time to chat, you are not to mention regression, you are not to use any of her triggers, and you are limited to topics she has already shown that she is willing to share with you, understand? And I’m driving her to school in the morning, so I’ll be filling in the whiteboard to let you have a little lie in. Is that good?” She meant the magnetic whiteboard on the door to my room. Occasionally Ffrances would write a time I had to be in bed by, or the time I was allowed to wake up. And no matter what I tried, it was impossible for me to defy those instructions once I had seen them. It made me feel so subservient, knowing that I couldn’t even set an alarm to wake myself in the early hours if I wanted to. It had never been a problem; but now, when I knew that I needed to be awake before Tess went out, it was the kind of chain that I needed to escape. There was only one thing that I could say. “Yes, Mistress.”

Hypnosis Doesn't Work Like That!, my first popular story. Now pending a rewrite before I can share it again; because the first few chapters don't really fit. A couple of minor characters from that story get properly developed in this one.

Hey everyone! Now that we’re about halfway through (though this is likely to change), I also wanted to share my thoughts about what comes next. As you may or may not have noticed with this story, I haven’t put up a poll… the first in almost two years. There’s a lot of reasons for this, and I’ve already gone into more depth in previous stories why I felt shaky with it, but bottom line… I felt that the stories being chosen were interesting but ultimately not as popular as some of the other potential ones (or as interesting to write about long-term). And this was fine for a while there, but those stories were also often harder to write, and I typically got less attention/reception/engagement with them in the end. I write these stories for myself, which is why I can write them so quickly because this is basically fun and relaxation for me… but it gets hard to repeat that cycle, especially when some of these stories now take months to write. So, for this round, I won’t be doing a poll. I might bring it back at some point in the future, but for now, I’ll do it like the old days and choose myself with what is next. This could be risky admittedly, but I think it could also pay off when I focus on characters that I think you all would appreciate more within this setting. And as far as what is next, I’m not entirely sure right now, but I’ve narrowed it down to a few. At this point, my final decision will be more reflective of my mood, and more importantly, when this story ends. At roughly eight chapters to go, this means this story will end around the end of August or early September (if more chapters are added or there are delays). Add a two-week break (at least) and it’s mid-September. As such, I might consider writing one of my spookier/magical stories to fit the season, similar to like what I did last year with The Unsought Guest… except that one took longer than expected and ended in December/January… well beyond Halloween. But even like with the polls, I will be sure to announce what is next during the final chapter of this story and when the first chapter will be posted as well. Now… last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter of my story! Chapter 10: The Two Shores of a New Place When dealing with the ARV, change is inevitable. I should have known that by now, but I guess I had gone into purple cabin with that hope that some ARs bounced around those ages. Being a teen wasn’t ideal between some strange hormones, acne, and a loss of physique, but it came with privileges in society these days. ARs were still adults. Going under that line was tricky though… even more so here at camp. Sadly, Brian dropped into blue cabin two days after he tried to set the trap for the monster. I should have known better that my friend had changed… but I guess denial can be a powerful thing. His things were moved out like he was headed to a funeral. For anyone in purple, dropping to blue was the worst thing that could happen.   What made the transitions hardest around here though, black to purple or purple to blue or any of the others, was just the uncertainty of it all. Brian was a clear candidate for the place, but I felt that so was Eric on some level. This feeling only increased when Leo dropped into blue a few days later as well… and Eric remained. Going to Mrs. Galen one morning, I was just behind Leo when I heard a stumble and a groan. Worried, I peeled back the curtain… only to find that Leo’s pants had fallen, even with his camping approved belt, and had now fallen over from a small container he must not have seen. No injuries… except maybe his pride and then his rage that night when Mr. Nancy broke the news that he would be moving to blue cabin the next morning. Everyone chipped in for him to try and defend him staying… but there was no debate here. When Mrs. Galen said to go… you went. Most were shocked. I was as well. Leo always seemed so mature and strong-willed. After I saw fear in his eyes though as he entered the cabin after dinner, I knew he was changing too. And being the great guy that I still wanted to be around here, I made sure to lose a hand of poker to him… like a final send-off. Or in my case as it turned out to be, more of a ‘see you later.’ “I’m sorry, Miles,” Mr. Nancy told me after knocking on the blue cabin door a few days later. “I always hate to see any of my cabin members leave, but…” “You don’t have to say it,” I noted glumly. “I can look in a mirror myself. Plus… I don’t think they would even make a purple cabin uniform if I shrink any…” Last night, I noticed that I had dropped maybe an inch. It wasn’t much… but it was a sure sign of things to come now. “You might be surprised, but…” He hesitated. “Just with everything going on though, this place might be better for you.” Everything going on. Code talks for ‘you told us that there was a monster in these woods, and despite the evidence, we think you’re just a dumb kid who’s really just afraid of the dark.’ It was unspoken but that stigma had been following me around ever since the group had tried to escape and that had become my excuse why Brian and I had run back and then got caught with the rest. It was almost strange though. After Mr. King’s punishment for us cleaning his guns had ended, no one on staff or cabinmates seemed upset or to give two thoughts about us trying to escape now. But the monster? Dealbreaker. A moment of silence later, the door opened. Unlike what happened with purple cabin, a mid-40s woman appeared in the doorway. “Well… hello there. You must be Miles,” she directed to me before turning her attention to Mr. Nancy. “Ichabod…” “Jane…” Mr. Nancy then mocking tipped his non-existent hat to her and left off the front stoop. “I’ll just leave you two here.” He started walking and then stopped. “Oh, and Jane? Please remind Rodney about tonight, will you?” ‘Jane’ didn’t seem to like the notion but nodded anyway. “Will do… Ichabod.” After, he might as well not have existed to her as she turned her attention back towards me and got me to sit with her on the front step. “Now, Miles… in here is blue cabin. My husband and I are going to try and give you and your friends the most space we can… but sometimes, rules are rules.” Remembering the sudden increase in rules from black to purple cabin, I dreaded what might be new here as Mr. Nancy finally disappeared from view. “And those are?” “It’s pretty simple, really,” she noted with a smile, patting my knee. “We understand that you all are still adults. Unlike red…” She gestured over to the cabin next door, yelling and laughing and crying already coming from it. “We know that you all still have your minds.” “I hope so…” Each drop down was full of its own challenges. So far, more rules seemed to be the hardest things to deal with though. She looked a little pained and placed her hand on my shoulder. “Hey… no one in blue cabin has those kinds of problems. I swear. In fact… if you do, that’s usually the point we might consider transferring you to red. But that takes time… nothing for you to worry about today, okay?” I could only nod. My mind being blended out my ears into mush was postponed… for now. “But just because you have your mind intact… your physical front is going to take a hit here…” She sighed as if she was remembering all the changes she had witnessed in the past almost two months since Orange Day occurred. “Purple you might get a voice crack or acne or maybe feel more alive than ever from all the energy you suddenly get in your teens…” But I knew the requirements and brackets for blue cabin. Big changes were coming. “Here though… most of you are going to slip backwards through puberty,” she explained. “Sometimes, it’s over in a single night. We’ve seen some people in here drop a clear foot overnight while they slept.” That really got to me, and I started to wring my hands together nervously. “Will… will it hurt?” She shook her head. “No, Miles. It won’t hurt. Apparently, you might feel some cramping, but because you’re youthening here, any injuries that might hurt are healed soon after.” She paused. “But this leads me to two points…” She pressed her fingers into her palm, forming the numeral one first. “First… if you feel pain or you’re worried or freaking out about what’s happening to you… you just come to me or my husband. If you can’t move for whatever reason… just call out ‘Mr. or Mrs. Brooks,’ okay?” I nodded. And I almost didn’t want to ask… but I knew I had to. “And the second?” She smiled and nodded. “Yes… well, during this time, you’re going to be flooded with hormones and endorphins and all sorts of other chemicals. And that’s going to mean your emotions might be a little… chaotic.” “Like I’m going to lose my mind?” I asked, remembering the chaos I had seen more than a few times by now on the camping trip that purple and blue cabin shared a few times a week. “I’ll be honest… it might feel like it, but no, Miles. You won’t be losing your mind,” she reassured me. “But… it might mean you could get sad more often of happy… or angry. If any of those happen, we have the 1-2-3 rule, or method, here. You know what that is?” I shook my head. “Well, it’s where you step back for a moment. Even if you’re in the middle of a conversation, you step back and hold up three fingers. Then you count down and give the biggest and deepest breaths you can. Can you try for me now, so I know you know what to do?” I nodded and did it with ease. I felt a little stupid, but there wasn’t a problem. Curiously though, my mind already felt clearer. “Like that?” “Exactly,” she very nearly praised me. “You feel a strong emotion coming on, you count down. And that will go for others, so big rule here is if you see that, you wait, maybe do it yourself, but never… and I mean never interrupt them, okay?” I winced at the implication. “Understood…” She smiled and stood up, even offering me a hand which I took gratefully. “Now… let’s go meet your fellow cabin mates.” Entering inside, it was hard not to be overwhelmed by what I found there. First, were just the sheer numbers that greeted me. There must have been at least 50 to 60 members all crawling over their bunks or running around. I even had to count I was so in disbelief… 57. It was almost pure chaos with all the varieties of looks… some looking like children while others looking more like they could have even belonged back with purple cabin. In the back, one man towered over the rest, trying to talk to one while keeping two others from fighting and screaming at each other. ‘Must be Rodney… shit… Mr. Brooks.’ Second thing that greeted me was the design of the cabin. With so many members, 15 bunks were lined on both sides cascading downward like purple had, but the cavernous appearance echoed with the sheer number of members. Further, from the age mismatches, some of the cabin looked more like an elementary school, sporting pasted stars or celebratory banners or butterflies… each hand-crafted, accompanied by an almost neat and tidy nature that looked near-military. The other parts though looked more like an old college dorm. Nothing against the rules I could see but a disarray like pieces of clothing hanging out of cabinets and drawers, or unmade beds and pasted old posters from the purple cabin. It was like one half was desperately clinging onto the past… while the other half seemed almost joyful to follow the rules like good school children and prance their way on down the line. “Lake! Lake cabin!” Mrs. Brooks called out, clapping her hands as she did so. “Attention, please!” Mr. Brooks stopped what he was doing, nodded to his wife and then clapped his hands back. “Listen up! Announcement time!” Instantly, the cabin settled and like a fine-tuned parade, the fifty something scattered bodies all lined up next to their bunks. Some were disheveled while others were tidy… except looking down the row at Mr. Brooks adjusting the curled-up edges of a uniform, likely not their own doing. “Everyone… we have a new cabin member. This, is Miles.” Without asking me, Mrs. Brooks pushed me forward and all 57 pairs of eyes shot right back toward me. “Like happened with you all, I want you to welcome him and let him know the rules if he every forgets.” I heard her step forward before I saw her place both her hands over my shoulders. “Now… can we give a big welcome to Miles?” “Welcome to blue cabin, Miles!” everyone shouted at once. Some voices seemed enthusiastic… others like they were droning over a well-rehearsed line.   Mrs. Brooks then busied herself with a few other members and Mr. Brooks resumed his intervention in a previous fight. Alone now and not fully sure what to do, to my relief, quickly, I saw a pair of hands waving at me from the far end. Squinting over and getting close, I saw it was Brian. “Hey man… glad to see you again.” I paused and looked at the bunk he was closest to. “You already settled in here?” Brian eagerly nodded and patted the top of his bunk. “Another boy just left yesterday so this one is all open! You wanna be my bunkmate again?”   I nodded and quickly tossed my stuff. “Better change quick,” another familiar voice instructed. “Never want to get on the Brooks’ bad side. Trust me…” Turning, I saw both Pedro and Billy approach. Pedro and I shook hands. Billy and I hugged… awkwardly but I knew he was friendly enough… just quiet.   “Leo here?” I soon after questioned as I quickly disrobed and then donned my new outfit. Brian nodded. “He bunked with Sammy near the front. He’s been… weird lately.” My ears perked up. “Oh? How so?” “I don’t know… keeps droning on about Dwayne and all,” he explained. “Sammy listens and takes it in… but it’s like Leo is going crazy that they’re not in the same cabin anymore.” “Been friends for years…” I reminded my old friend, “even before Leo’s marriage and Dwayne took off with that stripped in Atlantic City for a week… remember that?” Brian shuddered, and I couldn’t blame him. We both at least remembered the fallout that came out afterward. It was the most tenuous time in our business partnership. Both Leo and Dwayne remained frosty at each other for over a year, and business meetings were beyond terrible. Only when Leo’s marriage fell through did they truly start talking again… I sat on Brian’s bunk while he sorted through his bag, pulling out an inordinate number of markers. I might have raised an eyebrow… but I didn’t comment. “So… what do you think of this place, huh?” Pedro asked, sitting on the opposite bunk. “You like our madhouse here yet?” “It’s… interesting.” I didn’t want to be insulting to this place so early in. “That’s a word for it,” Billy spoke softly, his eyes twitching around as if to look for Mr. or Mrs. Brooks. I caught on. “Yeah… Mrs. Brooks briefed me on the rules.” I held up my hand and held up three fingers. “This was a little strange though…” “Oh yes… the 1-2-3 method,” Brian noted after stuffing the lack black marker back inside his backpack. “Weird… but effective.” “Always?” I asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion. “Well, no… but it saves a lot of conflict around here,” Pedro noted. “For example… no one pokes at us around here for believing in the monsters.” “Wait…” I looked around at the swirl of a practical swarm of everyone running around trying to get ready for the day and breakfast, “everyone knows here already?” Brian nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! Isn’t it great? All the knowledge about us but none of the bullying or snide comments!” I looked towards Pedro and Billy. Not because Brian was unreliable, but I wanted the inside scoop… and both nodded in agreement. “It’s basically a draw around here with stuff like that.” Billy gestured over toward Sammy’s bed, where Hubert stood erect and protective. “If he pokes at us for something like believing in monsters, especially after our proof that everyone knows we have… he knows we can start to question his bear or that it’s far more than just his backpack.” “It’s simple,” Pedro picked up, “if he doesn’t make fun of us… we don’t call him out. And… that goes for everyone here. Everyone has weaknesses here now or later. Maybe a lack of strength or new fear or acne or maybe they lost two feet of height.” He paused and seemed to reflect on his own… something I couldn’t tell myself right away. “So, with everyone in here knowing they’re going to lose something, you tend not to leave yourself for later when you hurt someone else now.” “You just might need to watch out over the whole surging hormones business,” Billy pointed out. “Can get a bit annoying over time.” “Or heated,” Pedro added. “Hence the 1-2-3 thing. And if that happens… do it. Respect it. And if you ever need a hand when something really goes wrong… call us.” “And the Brooks…” Brian said softly. “Only as a last resort though…” Each of the three nodded. Just like that, I had a new group of friends. Sammy and Leo said ‘hello’ on our way to breakfast, but there was a clear division amongst the lake group around us. With nearly 60 members, there were bound to be cliques and Leo and Sammy weren’t in ours. That might have been sad… but our group was strong enough. As Billy put it, we were ‘the believers.’ We were united in our belief that something unnatural was out in Claw Forest and ready to hurt us all if we ever tried to leave again. And when entering the dining hall, I was admittedly a little scared of being picked on once again… but I wasn’t. There was a strength in numbers that was hard to ignore. First line of defense was our group. Small maybe in blue cabin compared to others maybe like the sport heads, but we were united in our shared belief. And beyond that, the second line of defense was blue cabin itself. More than the rest, I saw a unity in blue that never existed in purple… they were too individualistic and rebellious. And certainly not black… they were too mature and independent. But when almost 60 members marched into the dining hall double file, blue cabin easily made a name for themselves. And besides, it was immediately clear what would happen if anyone ever did try and make fun of our group. As if to prove that to me right away, about halfway through breakfast, someone called out Brian for being a ‘baby’ and a ‘scaredy cat’ from black cabin. Then to top it off, they nearly tripped him when he was just filling up his water bottle for the day at one of the far taps. Seeing all that, I nearly stood to defend my friend. Pedro and Hilly beat me to it. In a second, they were over to him and protected Brian and then helped him up. They stared the bullies down and made threats of calling them out for bullying in front of everyone in the dining hall. No strength in their muscles but power in their words as everyone, including the counselors and heads of cabins, looked on. The bullies probably saw and simply brushed them off and sat back with black cabin… where from afar, Uriah then scolded both of them and then gave us a head nod and a proud thumbs up when they weren’t looking. Sitting back down, Pedro smiled. “Strength in numbers…” “Because we don’t have any to speak of…” Billy pointed out as he showed off his pale bony arm. “Gotta think with our minds before we think with our arms and fists. They win always that way when we use our utter lack of strength.” “But logic and the whole admin watching?” Pedro jumped in. “We have a chance.” I nodded, relegating that to my memory. Already, I could see a snickering Dwayne at purple cabin table looking at Brian and I with judgmental eyes. Tomorrow was the camping trip again… something told me that we might not be welcome anymore. So, with that upbeat attitude, we made our way through the day. It all seemed pretty normal… at least until we got to the firing range. Wanting to blow off some steam with hitting the clay pigeons again, I was more than a little surprised with what I found instead. “What do you mean no more shotguns?” I asked Mr. King. “I just had one two days ago!” “And two days ago, you were in purple cabin,” he explained. “Now… you get these.” His hand gestured to the range where he had already set up a handful of BB guns and only about four small caliber rifles. “Target shooting now. No need to go ripping your all’s arms off… right Mr. Brooks?” “Right you are, Mr. King!” Mr. Brooks agreed, once again taking on his role as more of the agreed and negotiator of everything. In blue cabin, he definitely seemed to be the more well-liked member of the duo leading us now. Also though, I noticed that amongst the other interactions I had seen today, most of the staff now called themselves by their last names… like there was not even a chance of us using their first names any longer. And looking down the line at the first group up and taking their positions where even some of the BB guns looked too big… I couldn’t blame anyone for that.   “Hey,” Pedro nudged me with a whisper. “It’s not that bad, really. Targets are pretty fun and we can even make bets on each other.” “Really?” I looked over at the Brooks’, both trying to keep a few of the younger members from trying to wave around their BB guns. “Even with…?” “Yeah,” Billy noted. “They might have a lot of rules and get into a whole superiority complex without needing to some days, but they turn the other way when we’re just having harmless fun. Just… no insults, okay?” “Wasn’t planning on it…” I saw a few of my cabinmates struggling with their small caliber rifles… clearly needing smaller versions or just the BB guns now. “Okay though. Will do.” “Perfect… how about…?” Pedro drifted off for a moment. “Yeah… how about we make it however many in the dark ring of the target gets half of each of our deserts tonight?” “Aww… really?” Brian seemed disappointed. “But tonight is lava cake and vanilla ice cream.” “Exactly,” Pedro emphasized. “Bigger stakes. Makes it more fun and tasty with a mountain of lava cake instead for the winer, don’t you think?” With the prospect of competition and an even larger desert, I saw Billy quickly nod, but I also saw that Brian wasn’t as on board. So, knowing him, I patted his shoulder. “Hey… even if you lose, you still get half of your desert.” I leaned in and whispered. “Maybe just give the burnt half to the victor?” “Oh… yeah!” Brian wiggled out and quickly nodded toward me. “There’s always a burnt part!” Smiling now, he twirled back towards Pedro. “I’m in too!” “Perfect.” Pedro scribbled something on a scrap piece of paper he had pulled… probably to keep an official record of some kind… before looking at me. “And you Miles? You in?” “Well…” I hadn’t been target-shooting in years… not since I was in scouts truly. But… I liked the competition and it felt wrong somehow to be left out. “I’m in. But is there any kickback to these things or…?” “Miles!” Mr. King called out as the first line stopped firing for a volunteer from Havenswood to collect the targets. “Front and center! Need to see which size gun you can handle.” I rushed over, not wanting to be denied shooting today, in fear of forfeiture of the grand prize now… and to prove that I wasn’t a measly shrimp yet like so many of my cabinmates. I needed some speck of pride in my life. And the difference between BB guns and the small caliber was just as small… but it was another line in the sand that I wanted to be on the right side of. While I waited, I looked inside his small workspace out here and saw all sorts of things I had become familiar with during my punishment with the rest of the group for trying to escape. It was all still here and nothing looked different… except when I looked up, I saw two names, ‘Perry Tilling’ and ‘Eustace Paperton.’ Both still maintained high scores for skeet shooting and while Perry remained in black cabin and had even been one of the members who snickered at me after I had claimed I had seen a monster, Eustace’s life was very different. Last week, he finally bounced near the bottom of red cabin. I saw him once in passing. It was hard to pair that little guy up with the book-smart man I knew back in black cabin… but it was the immutable fact of this place. Even if the ending looked different, from having ARV, we all changed before leaving here. Last I heard, a nice family had taken him in, and he had left on Monday. “Miles!” Mr. King barked. “Come on over here, son. Don’t have all day. Your group is next… unless you want to sit out or just take a BB gun.” I shook my head and he chuckled as I quickly lined up for my test. Fortunately, having freshly arrived in blue cabin, I was still on the normal sized gun, so when I stepped up to the firing line next, I felt just as proud. I managed to ding three shots in the black with one almost center. ‘Not bad… not bad…’ I didn’t win though… That honor belonged to Pedro. “Ah!” He mockingly smelled his winning target after it had been retrieved. “Smells like a full desert to me, huh guys?” “Ugh! You’re just used to the kickback!” Billy complained almost uncharacteristically. “How long have you been here now? Three weeks?” Pedro nodded. “Yep. Was in college. Came here, and I’ve been slowly making my way down.” He grinned and showed us all his target. “Still doesn’t change that I’m the winner! Ha!” Dwindling down as we were, I sometimes forgot that we were all younger now. You get almost insulated from that fact unless there’s some obvious piece of evidence looming in your face. For example, the fact that hit me hard was when I saw that only peach fuzz would grow on my face anymore. And Pedro was so strong. He had carried Donny back to his cabin for a fresh diaper and he looked so tall and sturdy. There was an air about him that shouted restraint and maturity. But the more time I spent with him, the more I could see that line was all relative. Yes, compared to someone like Donny or even Tommy, Pedro was older. But out here… he was still a preteen who wouldn’t even be allowed to drive if he left here tomorrow. And that sort of dichotomy stuck with me for the rest of the day. Even entering the dining hall, I saw my fellow cabinmates. If I didn’t see the blue collars and patches on their uniforms, I would have almost mistaken them for the smaller runts in red cabin. A few flung foods at each other and giggled or snorted and played with their food. Worse, the other half that didn’t… just continued eating. Like all this was normal. And I guess I was in my head as we made our way to Havenswood afterward. I was thinking about the fact that I was in a new cabin and that we were surrounded by monsters and that the rest of the world was trying to move on and live normally while we kept dwindling in our privileges. And in a cabin that has a few immature members, as soon as I got to work organizing the tools out in the barn for Emma… one launched a water balloon right at me. I was soaked. I was furious. A white-hot burning rage surged through my body. It was uncontrollable and I felt like my whole body was being lit on fire as my knuckles cracked and I heaved in deep breaths of hatred. I spun with vengeance in my eyes and found them. “You! Get back here you stupid kids!” I shouted. I almost picked up a hammer before starting to march over to them but decided against it. It was the one rational thought I had, but otherwise, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Part of me was enraged and the other part of me felt drunk and confused. It was almost an out of body experience where I could see it all unfolding and do nothing about it. Being unthoughtful and not planning anything out… the kids in my cabin backed themselves right into a corner. I snarled as I approached. “Think you could play a prank on the new guy? Think you could get away with it and…” “Miles!” Brian caught me and pulled me back. “Come on, buddy! Walk away!” Pedro ran over and pulled me back as well while I saw Billy run off to go get the Brooks’ as backup just in case something worse happened and to report the very public incident. The others cowered in fear and trembled as I was led away by my friends and outside with the fresh air hitting me right in the face, my mind felt like it was starting to clear and I began to panic. “Oh… what did I do? What did I…?” I was horrified with what almost just happened. For a split second, I even thought about confronting them with a hammer. I thought I was losing my mind. Brian just shook his head. “No… you’re all good. Just breathe.” I tried to breathe but they only came out in slow shallow breaths, each one not giving me any exhaustion. I was feeling faint. “I… I can’t.” I was having a panic attack now. “Miles…” Pedro took over while Brian tried to hold onto me. “Miles!” he yelled again when I didn’t respond, snapping my head up toward him. “1-2-3, man… come on… try with me…” “I… I…” I tried to breathe in but it just didn’t seem to work. ‘Why wont this work? I got anxiety in college, and this always worked? What’s happening?’ I tried but I just kept failing. “I can’t!” “Yes. Yes, you can.” He held up his three fingers after forcing three of my own fingers. “Go with me… and 1… 2… 3…” He was so slow. Each number held on his lips and his fingers creaked down like rusty hand of a clock. But with each, I focused on every moment and every fiber… and I felt clearer. “Better?” Pedro asked. “I…” I realized I did. “Yeah…” Pedro smiled and Brian looked relieved. “Perfect. Let’s try a few more times. First attack out here can be intense. For some, it’s fear or sadness or joy. I guess for you, it was anger. Sucks, huh?” I nodded. “That… always happens?” Pedro shook his head. “No… but if it does, there’s a reason we have the 1-2-3 method from the Brooks’. Stupid and annoying I’ll grant you.” He paused. “We should keep going. The Brooks’ will be here and you’ll want a clear head for them. I nodded and tried again and again, my whole body feeling better after each. Soon enough though, as Pedro had predicted, both the Brooks’ were there on the scene after being led by Billy, their expression almost entirely unreadable. “Okay. Tell us… what happened here?” they questioned together, their tone neutral bordering on harsh. “He didn’t do anything! We stopped him!” Brian yelled as if he was already trying to defend me. “They threw a balloon and…” “We understand,” Mrs. Brooks stated dismissively to him before turning to me. “Now, Miles. In your own words… tell us what happened. Go slow and talk to us about how you felt as well. We want to know everything with what happened here.” I hesitated but with a little prompting gestures from Brian, Billy, and Pedro, I told my side of the story. Hearing it out loud, I thought I was a goner. A simple water balloon just didn’t make up for the fact that I had lost my temper so easily. I felt my days here were numbered… Instead, the others were sentenced to muck out the barn stalls. And because no harm was done and it was my first day, I was sent to a tree stump to think about what I had done. “You… you okay there, honey?” Emma asked a little later, approaching me slowly with a concerned look painted over her face while two objects were in her hands. “I heard what happened in the barn…” I winced. ‘Of all the people in Havenswood…’ I strangely hadn’t met many of them though, at least beyond the small portion of the population that came for bonfires or dinner or who interacted with us out here. But still… out of them, Emma was my favorite. She had a cheery demeanor and a wonderful way of looking at things. “I… I lost my temper,” I sighed, trying not to dwell on it too much. I thought I had been so superior and on my first day, I had turned to violence. “That shouldn’t have happened…” She stepped forward and sat on the small knee-high stonework fence next to me. “Nonsense. You got upset. And besides…” she paused for a moment before handing me a towel. “Getting soaked is no fun out here. No one wants to walk around all wet. Quick changing is always important.” I smiled at her kindness. “Thank you…” I took the towel from her and started to pat dry myself off. It didn’t help with my uniform as well, but at least I wasn’t dripping anymore. “There… so much better. Now, I think I can see your wonderful face instead of just seeing drip marks everywhere,” she charmed, taking back the towel. “But try not to think too hard on today. I know these things can be really hard on you all. I’ve seen it before. Something like this always happens around here…” Pedro had said the same thing. I hadn’t seen it, but two reliable people I trusted had to make it true on some level. “It is,” I admitted. “I was doing well at my job and boom. I got hit with the mist and now?” I looked down at myself, still in disbelief with where I was. Part of me almost wanted to take a mental picture of me the way I was now. “I just…” I shook my head. Something told me that my outer image wasn’t going to last… Emma then reached out and rubbed my back. It was so subtle and easy… and completely different to what I had seen from her before. She was bubbly and an optimist, yes… but not affectionate or touchy at all. Josephine or Ruth? Absolutely. I must have gotten at least three forehead kisses and five hugs from both of them by now. But not Emma. She didn’t linger though and soon left the rock fence and handed me a simple cookie before walking off. “Wait…” My head swam with confusion looking down at the cookie. So small… but another piece of a puzzle. “Emma?” She turned back around. “Yes?” I didn’t want to be rude but with so many questions running in my head, I wanted one less at least. “Why… why were you so nice to me with all this?” She smiled. “Because I saw you afterward.” Her words were clear and she said them with conviction… but I still felt loss. “How I… afterward?” She nodded. “Yes, you did something you shouldn’t have by threatening, as you called them… kids. Not a highlight… but afterward? Your true self… not the one pumped on hormones and stress… I saw that one freak out and panic. It wasn’t about getting caught like others… you were afraid of what you almost had done. That showed me real character.” She gestured to the big cookie now in my hand. “So… I wanted to give you a little treat.” “I…” I still felt a little confused. These things had happened before with others, and we had talked with the numerous other times I was here… but not towel or back rub or cookie those times. ‘Why was this different?’ I wasn’t sure… but I also didn’t want to be ungrateful. “Thank you…” She grinned and nodded back toward me. “You’re very welcome, Miles. And… be sure to eat the cookie before you leave the stump. Don’t want the others jealous, right?” Her grin turned into a smirk, and she flittered away back to her house. Sitting there on the stump, I couldn’t help but reflect on my new cabin. The third since I had arrived, it was proving to be the most challenging yet. Black cabin was just the initial shock and learning the routines here coupled together with the holdovers from being out in the world before. Purple was complex because you were given high numbers of freedoms but like the noose tightening around your neck, it didn’t take much for those liberties to become a liability. But blue… blue cabin was the transition. Like its nickname lake, it moved around like water between the two shores of maturity levels. One side was playful and organized… but mischievous and tightly controlled. The other side was relaxed and messy sometimes but awash with their emotions and holdovers of the loss of their pasts. And I was no different. And I should have been upset at all this. I should have called it unfair and maybe it was… but there was nothing I could do about it. Looking at my fingers and remembering the 1-2-3 method, I had a way to learn and to get better. Maybe it wasn’t much… but it was progress. And in a place where just staying in one place for any given period was an accomplishment, something like that was powerful… and gave me hope. Confused with all the feelings I was still having but still smiling under the slowly setting sun and the fresh air, I ate the cookie while waiting to leave the stump. The baked good from Emma was tasty with its chocolate and little flecks of salt on top. It reminded me of her kindness and that there was some good here… if you knew where to look. And so, sitting there… I thought about where I was in all this. No one got hurt today. I knew what to look for if it ever happened again, and I had friends. Life was complicated lately and was sure to get even more so… but not altogether bad.