Little in Distress

[Pamperskid77]

So I started seeing someone 6 months ago and our relationship has progressed very well.

 

A little bit about me, I’m an educated professional in my mid thirties. Divorced about 2 years ago and I’ve been dating on and off since then. I identify as a DL and a Daddy.

 

My partner is also a well educated professional in her mid thirties. Has a great career and is a kind, caring an empathetic person. That said she has had a very rough life. She was in and out of the foster system as a child, she has no family, she has been physically and sexually abused and suffered through domestic violence in her previous marriage.

 

I noticed early on that she had some regressive behaviours. She loves stuffies (lovies), liked have her partner bath her, and she engaged in some baby talk. She also had a tendency to dress in more childish clothing, overalls, shortalls, etc. All of that you can imagine was OK with me.

 

At around the four month mark we had a few drinks (she had three) and when I woke up in the morning I noticed she had an adult pacifier in her mouth from little for big…

 

We talked about it and she had some experience regressing for days at a stretch but previous partners where not interested in engaging and had actively shamed her. I had already disclosed my interest in diapers and DDLG at this point so she knew where I was at.

 

Discussions lead to the inclusion of onesies, goodnites, and bottles and calling me daddy. She wanted to include this in our sex life immediately. She has quiet a bit hang ups around sex and having a paci in her mouth, calling me daddy and having the dirty talk be about how I’m going to love and care for her really turns her crank. (Mine too)

 

We have been engaging in some play almost everytime we are together. (Even if it’s for a short period of time.) we have run into a couple of snags along the way. After a heavily engaged weekend she suffered some pretty heavy sub drop the next day. So we incorporated some heavy aftercare for all future sessions. (There was a lot of intimacy and I think she blew through all her happy chemicals)

 

She has expressed some concern recently about having difficulty controlling the regression. She had an incident earlier this week dealing with a former business partner/landlord. He was abusive to her as she was trying to get some things. (It’s an extremely long and complex story that would need a book to cover) during the move out he physically blocked her a number of times and cornered her twice.

 

She was very upset about this incident and it triggered her significantly. That night she wet the bed for the first time since she was a child. 

 

We engaged in play the following night after a relaxing day out as an adult couple at her request. She had a bad dream that night and needed a lot of cuddling from daddy and some time on his chest to settle her down.

 

We talked the next morning and she expressed some concern that she regressed to the point that night after the bad dream that she felt she couldn’t snap out of it. This would have lasted 20-40 minutes. I’m also not sure how much she was awake/asleep/dream life state. She did ask Daddy to get up to pee shortly after it ended. (She has only wet her pull-up once)

 

Over the last couple of months she has bounced back and forth between wanting to engage in the behaviour and worried about the potential fall out of longer term repercussions and whether the behaviour is normal. 

 

I want to be as supportive as possible in this situation, however I’m a little perplexed as to how to proceed. Any advice on any of it would be appreciated.

 

 

 

 

 

[AbabeBill]

Seems like your partner, does have a fair share of anxious issues. We all do, I guess. But, maybe she might have more then she can handle right now? I absolutely don’t believe there is anything wrong, in dealing with such issues, using regression, or playing at such. Like the old saying, let the body heal it’s self. You both have a way, to deal with these issues of your own, a way to work through frustrations, this is good. But if she still feels, she is not moving forward, or not feeling good, it might not be a bad idea to seek a professional, to help sort some of it out. 
I hope you both can work together, and get to a good place. And the best support you can give, is by listening, and paying much attention to what is an important thing to her now. She should know, she can talk to you, and you will hear what she’s saying. 

[Rachael-Little]

Sounds like a tough situation and your doing your best to help her.

Professional help might be the best answer, but you also might just have a night where you begin with a diaper session and make her feel safe and allow her to regress, without all the stress