After 2.5 Years of Wearing 24/7 I am Proceeding with Pelvic Therapy to Stop Wearing so Much

[PuraVidaDip]

Well I thought I would throw this out there, because it contradicts some of the things I have posted in the past, or at least contradicts where my mind was heading before. I have wanted to wear diapers since I was a small child. I have fantasized and longed to be in diapers for the rest of my life. Well, for the past 2+ years I have done just that! I have spent "the rest of my life" in diapers. I have worn diapers to work, on multiple business trips, camping trips, speaking in front of people, all sorts of things!

I have been wearing diapers 24/7 since January of 2022. This happened after some incontinence which I have leaned into. I am sitting at my desk at work in a semi wet diaper. I am not sure the extent oh how much I will decrease my wearing, but will taper off from 24/7 or rather, already have to some degree.

Well, over the course of the last several months, and traveling with friends, being all awkward with my bathroom visits, and trying to hang by the pool, etc, I have come to the conclusion that wearing diapers 24/7 isnt really compatible with the sort of life I want to lead. I still WANT to be in diapers but I also WANT to do some things that would require me to have better control of my bladder and especially my bowels.

I love the water. I love being on the water, boating, the beach etc. Diapers and the water dont get so well together. I have found myself in a couple of occasions in a saturated diaper in the water, twice where I tried to take it off and it just exploded, polluting the environment with microplastics. These happened due to me having to get into the water and not being able to take the diaper off before hand. Both were emergency situations and unavoidable until the split second before.

Also, I have two boys and I would love to be able to go on a long-distance backpacking trip or a long-distance rafting/ canoeing trip at some point. These long distance back-country activities aren't really compatable with wearing diapers.

So here I am guilty or being an advocate of loving diapers and wearing them at all times and also realizing that for me to live the sort of dynamic multi-spectrum fulfilling life I want I need to be able to spend some of my time not wearing diapers. I am not sure where that line will be, but it will be somewhere. I will have to wear for car trips, movies, concerts too, but I may try to use the bathroom before and after. I am not quite sure how all of this will work, but I am working on it.

I started my first Pelvic Therapy yesterday and it was encouraging to be able to get some of my control back. I realized at a concert that with the amount of fluids I was taking in I couldnt last the whole show and as my friends went to the bathroom, so could I (we had seats) and it made sense to try and empty my bladder, so I did. I had to use a bathroom stall because of the onesie. I present as a man mostly and using the urinals when you have a diaper on is awkward, and with a onesie to unsnap, super awkward. But I realized that by toileting with others I could sometimes get some urine out and have it not all end up in my diapers.

I am still torn here but I wanted to post this here none-the-less. I have just been getting more and more distressed lately by wearing diapers that I feel I need to reduce my 24/7 numbers down. It may be to wearing pull-ups more (they suck, I went my floor last night in one experimenting), but I am sure I will figure out some way to honor my desire and need for diapers, and my desire and need for not wearing, or wearing light protection when wearing diapers just isn't practical.

TLDR IDK but I would be happy to hear anyones response/ encouragement / criticisms with this post and advice on how to move forward. I feel like I am really giving up on something I have longed so hard to achieve so I am torn.

 

[DailyDi]

There's nothing wrong with being able to choose when/how to use diapers, and have some control over things. Wishing you the best with the therapy!

[Kawaharu]

There's nothing wrong with wearing adult diapers. 

[superabsorbantpolymer]

1 hour ago, PuraVidaDip said:

Well I thought I would throw this out there, because it contradicts some of the things I have posted in the past, or at least contradicts where my mind was heading before. I have wanted to wear diapers since I was a small child. I have fantasized and longed to be in diapers for the rest of my life. Well, for the past 2+ years I have done just that! I have spent "the rest of my life" in diapers. I have worn diapers to work, on multiple business trips, camping trips, speaking in front of people, all sorts of things!

I have been wearing diapers 24/7 since January of 2022. This happened after some incontinence which I have leaned into. I am sitting at my desk at work in a semi wet diaper. I am not sure the extent oh how much I will decrease my wearing, but will taper off from 24/7 or rather, already have to some degree.

Well, over the course of the last several months, and traveling with friends, being all awkward with my bathroom visits, and trying to hang by the pool, etc, I have come to the conclusion that wearing diapers 24/7 isnt really compatible with the sort of life I want to lead. I still WANT to be in diapers but I also WANT to do some things that would require me to have better control of my bladder and especially my bowels.

I love the water. I love being on the water, boating, the beach etc. Diapers and the water dont get so well together. I have found myself in a couple of occasions in a saturated diaper in the water, twice where I tried to take it off and it just exploded, polluting the environment with microplastics. These happened due to me having to get into the water and not being able to take the diaper off before hand. Both were emergency situations and unavoidable until the split second before.

Also, I have two boys and I would love to be able to go on a long-distance backpacking trip or a long-distance rafting/ canoeing trip at some point. These long distance back-country activities aren't really compatable with wearing diapers.

So here I am guilty or being an advocate of loving diapers and wearing them at all times and also realizing that for me to live the sort of dynamic multi-spectrum fulfilling life I want I need to be able to spend some of my time not wearing diapers. I am not sure where that line will be, but it will be somewhere. I will have to wear for car trips, movies, concerts too, but I may try to use the bathroom before and after. I am not quite sure how all of this will work, but I am working on it.

I started my first Pelvic Therapy yesterday and it was encouraging to be able to get some of my control back. I realized at a concert that with the amount of fluids I was taking in I couldnt last the whole show and as my friends went to the bathroom, so could I (we had seats) and it made sense to try and empty my bladder, so I did. I had to use a bathroom stall because of the onesie. I present as a man mostly and using the urinals when you have a diaper on is awkward, and with a onesie to unsnap, super awkward. But I realized that by toileting with others I could sometimes get some urine out and have it not all end up in my diapers.

I am still torn here but I wanted to post this here none-the-less. I have just been getting more and more distressed lately by wearing diapers that I feel I need to reduce my 24/7 numbers down. It may be to wearing pull-ups more (they suck, I went my floor last night in one experimenting), but I am sure I will figure out some way to honor my desire and need for diapers, and my desire and need for not wearing, or wearing light protection when wearing diapers just isn't practical.

TLDR IDK but I would be happy to hear anyones response/ encouragement / criticisms with this post and advice on how to move forward. I feel like I am really giving up on something I have longed so hard to achieve so I am torn.

 

Yeah I'm in a similar position, I've done long term 24/7 several times. But after 6 months or so on my lastest stint I had a realization that this just isn't living my best life. Now I feel so free to wear underwear again. As much as incon is a fantasy of mine and how I at times think yeah this is what I want, I am grateful for the freedom to choose to wear. I often fall into an all or nothing thinking pattern. I've been doing therapy the past few months and challenging my issues. I haven't raised diapers with my therapist yet although it would probably be a good topic to explore. I realize that to a large extent diapers are a coping mechanism for me. Sure I could lean into that coping mechanism, but Im trying to develop healthy habits and challenge myself to leave my comfort zone. It's freeing to say I don't need them (or weed or booze or whatever else I've coped with). 

There's nothing wrong with wearing diapers, but it's absolutely the case that not everyone sees it that way. I definitely am more reclusive, less spontaneous etc due to this and the logistical hassle of wearing 24/7. 

We can still enjoy our diapers recreationally, or even full time in the future. But for now, we recognize 24/7 is not serving our goals. That's ok. 

[Jeff42]

Not to say you shouldn't do what makes you happy, you should.

But I'm my experience swim diapers help at the beach, even if you only have urinary incontinence.

Love the water also, and when I go to the beach I wear a swim mates, this gives me some protection so I don't just pee on the floor, and basically empties when I go in the water. This helped me a lot with the transition times between wearing an actual diaper and being in the water.

 

 

[incondl]

It’s in your DNA. Most likely you’ll be back in diapers. Sorry to say that but that seems to be the way it works. I mean no disrespect.

[PuraVidaDip]

18 hours ago, SunOfSheep said:

Not to say you shouldn't do what makes you happy, you should.

But I'm my experience swim diapers help at the beach, even if you only have urinary incontinence.

Love the water also, and when I go to the beach I wear a swim mates, this gives me some protection so I don't just pee on the floor, and basically empties when I go in the water. This helped me a lot with the transition times between wearing an actual diaper and being in the water.

 

 

They just get all bunchy and weird if you are active. My experience is once wet they don't do much then you eventually need to take them off, especially if in and out of the water. I'll try them out again though!

20 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Yeah I'm in a similar position, I've done long term 24/7 several times. But after 6 months or so on my lastest stint I had a realization that this just isn't living my best life. Now I feel so free to wear underwear again. As much as incon is a fantasy of mine and how I at times think yeah this is what I want, I am grateful for the freedom to choose to wear. I often fall into an all or nothing thinking pattern. I've been doing therapy the past few months and challenging my issues. I haven't raised diapers with my therapist yet although it would probably be a good topic to explore. I realize that to a large extent diapers are a coping mechanism for me. Sure I could lean into that coping mechanism, but Im trying to develop healthy habits and challenge myself to leave my comfort zone. It's freeing to say I don't need them (or weed or booze or whatever else I've coped with). 

There's nothing wrong with wearing diapers, but it's absolutely the case that not everyone sees it that way. I definitely am more reclusive, less spontaneous etc due to this and the logistical hassle of wearing 24/7. 

We can still enjoy our diapers recreationally, or even full time in the future. But for now, we recognize 24/7 is not serving our goals. That's ok. 

Thanks for your reply here! Totally agree with your thoughts!

2 hours ago, incondl said:

It’s in your DNA. Most likely you’ll be back in diapers. Sorry to say that but that seems to be the way it works. I mean no disrespect.

I have still been wearing diapers since posting. Agree it is a part of me. Just giving myself grace to not wear 100% of the time I think, and use the toilet more.

[~Brian~]

On 6/6/2024 at 12:58 PM, DailyDi said:

There's nothing wrong with being able to choose when/how to use diapers, and have some control over things. Wishing you the best with the therapy!

@DailyDi Agreed:  diapers have helped me so much, and I not as worried about it as I once was.  Diapers are helpful, and are needed, and I still feel that the most IMPORTANT thing is to have the BEST diaper you can get, rather than the cheapest one that insurance covers:  That way you have the diaper that works best for YOU, and NOT the insurance company, who wants to give you the product that just barely works for the situation.

 

On 6/6/2024 at 2:13 PM, Kawaharu said:

There's nothing wrong with wearing adult diapers. 

@Kawaharu

No, there is nothing wrong with wearing diapers.  However, there may be situations that the OP, @PuraVidaDipmay want to be able to enjoy activities that have been enjoyed before having to use/wear diapers.  In order to be "prepared" as we are, we have to carry our "Go Bags" that have everything we need, and we have to be careful when we are doing activities that our diapers and what we wear over the top can deal with whatever we release.  This is especially important on a beach, or swimming in a public pool.  when you are IC, you take precautions that are necessary,BUT, if you can do without diapers for short periods, and you can have some, rather than no control over your bladder or bowels, that is a win, if you are looking to regain some control.  This does NOT mean, however, that you won't magically regain all control, and you still may have to wear diapers. 

I still feel that my decision to wear 24/7 in 2020 was the right one for me, and I support @PuraVidaDip if the idea is to gain some control back, so that you can enjoy time out of diapers

Brian

[hlcl]

@PuraVidaDipIt's much better to wear diapers out of fun rather than necessity. It's possible to retrain yourself.  I would continue with the pelvic floor therapy. Although it will take time, it's possible to regain control. 

I would buy some pull ups and wear them around the house.  I would wear diapers at night and when you leave the house. As your retraining progresses, you can wear pull ups on short outings and then on longer and longer outings 

 Nighttime dryness comes after daytime dryness, sometimes much later, so you might need to wear diapers during the night even after you are out of daytime diapers. The nighttime dryness comes with time. 

 Accidents are part of the learning process so don't beat yourself up if you have an accident. Put on a dry pull up and keep trying. As your training progresses accidents will decrease. 

Let us know how you are doing 

[rh1979]

I'm sure there are many of us who are in the same exact situation, but unwilling to admit it out loud. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share!

[Kawaharu]

On 6/8/2024 at 1:43 PM, ~Brian~ said:

@DailyDi Agreed:  diapers have helped me so much, and I not as worried about it as I once was.  Diapers are helpful, and are needed, and I still feel that the most IMPORTANT thing is to have the BEST diaper you can get, rather than the cheapest one that insurance covers:  That way you have the diaper that works best for YOU, and NOT the insurance company, who wants to give you the product that just barely works for the situation.

 

@Kawaharu

No, there is nothing wrong with wearing diapers.  However, there may be situations that the OP, @PuraVidaDipmay want to be able to enjoy activities that have been enjoyed before having to use/wear diapers.  In order to be "prepared" as we are, we have to carry our "Go Bags" that have everything we need, and we have to be careful when we are doing activities that our diapers and what we wear over the top can deal with whatever we release.  This is especially important on a beach, or swimming in a public pool.  when you are IC, you take precautions that are necessary,BUT, if you can do without diapers for short periods, and you can have some, rather than no control over your bladder or bowels, that is a win, if you are looking to regain some control.  This does NOT mean, however, that you won't magically regain all control, and you still may have to wear diapers. 

I still feel that my decision to wear 24/7 in 2020 was the right one for me, and I support @PuraVidaDip if the idea is to gain some control back, so that you can enjoy time out of diapers

Brian

That's why there is nothing wrong with wearing adult diapers. Diapers are very helpful and useful for those who need them. On top of that, diapers are quickly becoming very acceptable and normal. Diapers are the best thing in the world and are very helpful for physical and mental health issues.  This is why I don't see anything wrong with wearing adult diapers, and as an Adult baby and MSW student, I am very supportive of anyone who wants to wear diapers. I would even be supportive of anyone who wants to wear diapers permanently and even out in the open. Being an Adult baby, Incontinent, and MSW student, I am always diapered no matter where I am because I do not need adult potties, and I simply go in my diaper like the adult baby that I am. I always have a "go bag" in my car and a diaper-changing bag/pad on me in case I poop or leak in my diapers. The only exception I'm ever allowed out of diapers is for showers, swimming, and diaper changes. All other times, I am kept diapered.

This is why it's a win-win for me because being an adult baby allows me to be an adult in my own way, and I don't have to worry about having any control over bowel and bladder issues because that's something I know that's never going to come back with my age. For me, I just enjoy my life as a padded adult baby in an adult world.

[carsfan]

32 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

That's why there is nothing wrong with wearing adult diapers. Diapers are very helpful and useful for those who need them. On top of that, diapers are quickly becoming very acceptable and normal. Diapers are the best thing in the world and are very helpful for physical and mental health issues.  This is why I don't see anything wrong with wearing adult diapers, and as an Adult baby and MSW student, I am very supportive of anyone who wants to wear diapers. I would even be supportive of anyone who wants to wear diapers permanently and even out in the open. Being an Adult baby, Incontinent, and MSW student, I am always diapered no matter where I am because I do not need adult potties, and I simply go in my diaper like the adult baby that I am. I always have a "go bag" in my car and a diaper-changing bag/pad on me in case I poop or leak in my diapers. The only exception I'm ever allowed out of diapers is for showers, swimming, and diaper changes. All other times, I am kept diapered.

This is why it's a win-win for me because being an adult baby allows me to be an adult in my own way, and I don't have to worry about having any control over bowel and bladder issues because that's something I know that's never going to come back with my age. For me, I just enjoy my life as a padded adult baby in an adult world.

What does this have to do the op again? I don't remember 

[DiaperNomad]

Any progress/success with the pelvic therapy so far?

[Little Sherri]

There are no rules except the ones you impose, @PuraVidaDip. The diapers work for you, you don't work for the diapers; you're choosing the path that best serves your needs, and my hat is off to you. 

I've been hurtling down the 24/7 wormhole for over 5 years now, and I have to admit to myself that being diapered all the time comes with some compromises. For example, I used to be an avid runner and I was at the gym all the time, and I taught martial arts. Pandemic restrictions blunted some of those pursuits temporarily, but those are long past, and if I look into the mirror and am honest with myself, the reason I haven't gone back is primarily because I still find it a bit awkward and unnatural to be in gym clothes and a diaper, and no diaper is well suited to long runs. 

My family has gotten used to me wearing diapers; my wife knew almost right away, of course, but I never intended for my kids to know. However, they're not little kids and over the years they've come across evidence, and eventually they put two and two together. I preferred to just drop the facade, rather than pretending that I don't know they know, when they know that I know that they know. In some ways, it's freedom, because a box of diapers showing up on the porch is a non-event, and I can pack a suitcase full of diapers without worrying that someone might see them, when we're on vacation, but on the other hand, you can never go back, can you? 

But at the same time, I can't abide by the idea of not wearing them - I get depressed just thinking about it. I haven't worn anything other than diapers for underwear for half a decade. So maybe you're stronger than I am. I have utmost respect for your choice, and I wish you well. 

[PuraVidaDip]

On 7/6/2024 at 12:53 AM, DiaperNomad said:

Any progress/success with the pelvic therapy so far?

Not yet! Going back the next two weeks for more though!

On 7/6/2024 at 1:53 AM, Little Sherri said:

There are no rules except the ones you impose, @PuraVidaDip. The diapers work for you, you don't work for the diapers; you're choosing the path that best serves your needs, and my hat is off to you. 

I've been hurtling down the 24/7 wormhole for over 5 years now, and I have to admit to myself that being diapered all the time comes with some compromises. For example, I used to be an avid runner and I was at the gym all the time, and I taught martial arts. Pandemic restrictions blunted some of those pursuits temporarily, but those are long past, and if I look into the mirror and am honest with myself, the reason I haven't gone back is primarily because I still find it a bit awkward and unnatural to be in gym clothes and a diaper, and no diaper is well suited to long runs. 

My family has gotten used to me wearing diapers; my wife knew almost right away, of course, but I never intended for my kids to know. However, they're not little kids and over the years they've come across evidence, and eventually they put two and two together. I preferred to just drop the facade, rather than pretending that I don't know they know, when they know that I know that they know. In some ways, it's freedom, because a box of diapers showing up on the porch is a non-event, and I can pack a suitcase full of diapers without worrying that someone might see them, when we're on vacation, but on the other hand, you can never go back, can you? 

But at the same time, I can't abide by the idea of not wearing them - I get depressed just thinking about it. I haven't worn anything other than diapers for underwear for half a decade. So maybe you're stronger than I am. I have utmost respect for your choice, and I wish you well. 

Thanks! Yes well I haven't really NOT worn since posting that. But I am, for example, trying to use the toilet with more frequency, especially for BMs. I use basic depends pull-ups as undies when I go for runs now.

[PuraVidaDip]

Just an update here. Not much has changed. I've used the toilet some like if I am at a friends house or a concert and drinking a lot. Just going when others do and it makes my diaper last alot longer. Not always making it to the toilet. But it's kind of nice. I have the benefits of the diapers without all the costs. My therapy has been pushed back to November! now... So I am just proceeding with diapers. Still wearing 247 haha

[Pelusban]

I'm not incontinent and diaper wearing is just a recreational thing for me, and nowhere near to 24/7 at all. This is how I'm thinking about this topic: I can totally imagine somebody is longing after diapers so hard, that only 24/7 is enough for that person. But it is not a must! Of course when somebody decides to burn the bridges and use diapers only, it is a desperate, symbolic act too, and probably very liberating feeling when finally happens. But this feeling may end, and nobody forces you to keep doing it afterwards. You already proved your point and satisfied your curiosity. And your love for diapers is still remaining there. Just there are other things waiting for you to try.

For example, I recommend you to try training pants. It is a good thing when you don't want to wear a diaper. Almost a "grown-up" underwear, but still provides you the comfy bulk between your legs, and it can hold a little dribble if something goes wrong. Also much better functioning in water (seriously, bathing in a disposable diaper?!)

[adhb]

I became incontinent as a result of a surgical mishap when I was 14 years old. I wore diapers 24/7/365 for about 50 years before I retired. However, after I retired and am spending a lot of time at home in my house with 3 functioning bathrooms, I've switched to wearing a diaper only at night and when I'm away from home. Not needing to be diapered 24/7 saves a lot of money and enables me to manage my incontinence in ways that provide more freedom.

[PuraVidaDip]

After telling myself I would stop wearing so much FOUR months ago I still wear damn near all the time. I just switched to pullups on occasion, which is generally only when I will be going to and from the boat, around others. I wear very light weight depend pullups for runs. Still wear plastic backed briefs to concerts, bed, work etc. I mess a bit less than I used to. For instance this morning I was in a hurry to leave the house and by the bathroom so pulled off my diaper to use the potty. But I just messed my diaper at work. Go figure. 😆

[~Brian~]

17 minutes ago, PuraVidaDip said:

After telling myself I would stop wearing so much FOUR months ago I still wear damn near all the time. I just switched to pullups on occasion, which is generally only when I will be going to and from the boat, around others. I wear very light weight depend pullups for runs. Still wear plastic backed briefs to concerts, bed, work etc. I mess a bit less than I used to. For instance this morning I was in a hurry to leave the house and by the bathroom so pulled off my diaper to use the potty. But I just messed my diaper at work. Go figure. 😆

@PuraVidaDip

I understand that you may want to make a change to the way you wear diapers, and that is an OK thing. However, remember that once you start, it can be difficult to not want to wear or not wear. Especially if you’ve been wearing 24 seven for a certain amount of time. I’ve also tried to do the same thing for years. I’ve tried to figure out why the heck I have the feelings I do why the heck I like diapers the way I do, why I like the sound, and the smells in the idea of wearing diapers. I try to deal with this every day, and I always will try to ask myself why, and every time I try to ask that question I can never get an answer because it’s just something that makes sense to me, but then you try to fight what your knowledge and what your intuition says, and it’s a fight that is constant tiring, and sometimes ridiculously overwhelming 

I joined daily diapers in August 2019. Prior to this, I’ve been dealing with accidents and diverticulitis and IBS, and all of the feelings and smells and thoughts and everything else about wearing diapers. The drive to where was incredible, the reason to where was obvious, but then, of course, you still have to deal with the feelings you still have to deal with the guilt and all of this, and I finally realized that I need diapers, because I wasn’t going to continue to deal with having accidents, having to clean the floor, having to clean the toilet, having to clean the shower or wherever I was if I had an accident somewhere. the feelings that I dealt with were then still at odds with those that say that I need diapers, and guess what? The diapers one out against the feelings that I felt, and even with those feelings, I knew that I needed diapers and that me trying to force the issue. Try to fight against what I know is to be true and right for me it’s like trying to stop yourself from eating this luxuriously yummy scrumptious, chocolate cake that you can’t help yourself from mourning the taste of. It’s like the unconscious drive. It’s just like when you’re a baby and somebody put a bottle in your mouth, you learn a sock reflects, and that’s some thing that you always will have until it is somehow made less because you are drinking from my aura glass and you don’t need that sucker reflects anymore to be as prominent, it’s still there, but you use that reflects and that information in a different way, and that’s the way it goes. 

And you know what, five years later, I’m darn glad that I wear diapers 24 seven, I’m glad that I am a member here, and I’m glad that I finally was able to say “I need diapers, that is obvious, I don’t need to fight anymore, I don’t need to hide anymore, I don’t need to make up things anymore, and I am a diaper lover, always have been always will be!”  And every time that I wonder about that decision and I mean every stinking time that I try to think “did I make the right decision”, I always come back, and say, YES!

Remember that I said long ago, that part of it is because of incontinence, and that is important, because I need it for incontinence. However, the other part of it is that it helps me deal with the feelings and urges that I deal with. Now that I don’t have to hide it anymore and I don’t have to worry about it, and it is “acceptable” for me to wear diapers, and it’s needed that I wear diapers, I don’t have to feel like there’s anything wrong with me wearing a diaper, if my brother is standing next to me, and we’re talking, and I have a diaper on, there’s nothing bad about it, because they understand, and they accept. Because of that, I don’t worry about people finding out, I don’t go out of my way to tell people that don’t need to know, but those people that know, I need to know already know I know the reason why, and support me all the way. I don’t have to worry about someone finding out that I wear diapers, and I don’t have to worry about people making a big deal out of it because it’s not a big deal, and I’ve always said “if the worst thing that could happen in my life is that I have to wear diapers for the rest of my life because I can’t control my bladder on my balls, then that is not the end of the world, because there’s many of us that have that same problem. 

So don’t feel bad if you have these “slips” where are you may not wear diapers for a while, and then you decide that you wanna wear diapers again. Regardless of how many times I try to put the feelings I had out of my mind, or any time that I tried to deny the obvious, that I do need diapers, I always wonder, but I know I made the right decision, and as I’ve always stated if I have to wear diapers, I might as well have fun, right? I mean I have to wear diapers, so why not add a little bit of color or a little bit of spice or take a chance on things, because hell life is only so short or so long, and if you don’t find a way to help yourself relax and accept things that can make it hard. 

So, as I said, always, remember: if you are like the way you are, and you like diapers, and you have those feelings and you have those urges, 90% of the time it is because you are wired that way. There’s no way you’re going to change it there’s no way that you’re going to cause it to go away, because it’s always going to be a part of who you are. Trying to fight what is obvious is silly because you are just going to be drawn back into what your mind is telling you, and it would probably be saying something like “come on try it again, you’ll like it you know you like it don’t you?” And of course, the other side of your psyche is going to say YE S!

I hope you’re doing well. Keep us advised!

Brian

[PuraVidaDip]

20 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@PuraVidaDip

I understand that you may want to make a change to the way you wear diapers, and that is an OK thing. However, remember that once you start, it can be difficult to not want to wear or not wear. Especially if you’ve been wearing 24 seven for a certain amount of time. I’ve also tried to do the same thing for years. I’ve tried to figure out why the heck I have the feelings I do why the heck I like diapers the way I do, why I like the sound, and the smells in the idea of wearing diapers. I try to deal with this every day, and I always will try to ask myself why, and every time I try to ask that question I can never get an answer because it’s just something that makes sense to me, but then you try to fight what your knowledge and what your intuition says, and it’s a fight that is constant tiring, and sometimes ridiculously overwhelming 

I joined daily diapers in August 2019. Prior to this, I’ve been dealing with accidents and diverticulitis and IBS, and all of the feelings and smells and thoughts and everything else about wearing diapers. The drive to where was incredible, the reason to where was obvious, but then, of course, you still have to deal with the feelings you still have to deal with the guilt and all of this, and I finally realized that I need diapers, because I wasn’t going to continue to deal with having accidents, having to clean the floor, having to clean the toilet, having to clean the shower or wherever I was if I had an accident somewhere. the feelings that I dealt with were then still at odds with those that say that I need diapers, and guess what? The diapers one out against the feelings that I felt, and even with those feelings, I knew that I needed diapers and that me trying to force the issue. Try to fight against what I know is to be true and right for me it’s like trying to stop yourself from eating this luxuriously yummy scrumptious, chocolate cake that you can’t help yourself from mourning the taste of. It’s like the unconscious drive. It’s just like when you’re a baby and somebody put a bottle in your mouth, you learn a sock reflects, and that’s some thing that you always will have until it is somehow made less because you are drinking from my aura glass and you don’t need that sucker reflects anymore to be as prominent, it’s still there, but you use that reflects and that information in a different way, and that’s the way it goes. 

And you know what, five years later, I’m darn glad that I wear diapers 24 seven, I’m glad that I am a member here, and I’m glad that I finally was able to say “I need diapers, that is obvious, I don’t need to fight anymore, I don’t need to hide anymore, I don’t need to make up things anymore, and I am a diaper lover, always have been always will be!”  And every time that I wonder about that decision and I mean every stinking time that I try to think “did I make the right decision”, I always come back, and say, YES!

Remember that I said long ago, that part of it is because of incontinence, and that is important, because I need it for incontinence. However, the other part of it is that it helps me deal with the feelings and urges that I deal with. Now that I don’t have to hide it anymore and I don’t have to worry about it, and it is “acceptable” for me to wear diapers, and it’s needed that I wear diapers, I don’t have to feel like there’s anything wrong with me wearing a diaper, if my brother is standing next to me, and we’re talking, and I have a diaper on, there’s nothing bad about it, because they understand, and they accept. Because of that, I don’t worry about people finding out, I don’t go out of my way to tell people that don’t need to know, but those people that know, I need to know already know I know the reason why, and support me all the way. I don’t have to worry about someone finding out that I wear diapers, and I don’t have to worry about people making a big deal out of it because it’s not a big deal, and I’ve always said “if the worst thing that could happen in my life is that I have to wear diapers for the rest of my life because I can’t control my bladder on my balls, then that is not the end of the world, because there’s many of us that have that same problem. 

So don’t feel bad if you have these “slips” where are you may not wear diapers for a while, and then you decide that you wanna wear diapers again. Regardless of how many times I try to put the feelings I had out of my mind, or any time that I tried to deny the obvious, that I do need diapers, I always wonder, but I know I made the right decision, and as I’ve always stated if I have to wear diapers, I might as well have fun, right? I mean I have to wear diapers, so why not add a little bit of color or a little bit of spice or take a chance on things, because hell life is only so short or so long, and if you don’t find a way to help yourself relax and accept things that can make it hard. 

So, as I said, always, remember: if you are like the way you are, and you like diapers, and you have those feelings and you have those urges, 90% of the time it is because you are wired that way. There’s no way you’re going to change it there’s no way that you’re going to cause it to go away, because it’s always going to be a part of who you are. Trying to fight what is obvious is silly because you are just going to be drawn back into what your mind is telling you, and it would probably be saying something like “come on try it again, you’ll like it you know you like it don’t you?” And of course, the other side of your psyche is going to say YE S!

I hope you’re doing well. Keep us advised!

Brian

Thank you Brian that means a lot to me. I actually sat down with a friend last night and he had passive aggressively called me out in front of others (well not me, but people wearing diapers to concerts, which was me) and I had an anxiety attack about it. I didnt mention diapers specifically but mentioned my pelvic floor dysfunction and long story short he apologized and said he liked me just the way I was.

[~Brian~]

22 hours ago, PuraVidaDip said:

Thank you Brian that means a lot to me. I actually sat down with a friend last night and he had passive aggressively called me out in front of others (well not me, but people wearing diapers to concerts, which was me) and I had an anxiety attack about it. I didnt mention diapers specifically but mentioned my pelvic floor dysfunction and long story short he apologized and said he liked me just the way I was.

@PuraVidaDip

Your welcome!!  Glad to see that you were able to talk to a friend and have a conversation!!

Brian

[PuraVidaDip]

I'd like to provide an update on this. I would equate it to being on anti-psychotic meds (I have had family do this). Feeling like I finally have my shit together (because of the meds/diapers) and going off the meds (diapers). Well it didn't work out great. My life spiraled and I became semi-suicidal.

Although I never stopped wearing diapers, I was trying to regain full continence. I was using the toilet all the time, especially for BMs. IT WAS AWFUL. The straw that broke the camels back for me was during colonoscopy prep when I tried using the toilet and ended up getting mess all over the bathroom. It was horrible. Granted that's a special occasion. It's hard to hold in liquid but still it was like: look at this!? Why did I even try? Then I accepted the fact that I just couldn't not wear diapers. AND THATS OKAY! I did the rest of the prep in my diapers and it was AMAZING! Highly recommend just using the diapers for that. Granted I did have to shower the cleanup was aggressive. I think I changed twice. I used alot of desitin but it was great. Side note - the next day my wife took me to the visit and I told them about my diapers. Well they forgot to tell me to remove them before the opp (I had to wait about an hour good thing I was wearing diapers!) like right before and then I awkwardly (the nurse was like did you forget to remove your undies - "Yes sorry I am leaky!" awkward... but it was really okay in the end... removed them with three people including the doctor all gathered around me and then it fell on the ground (no BM at that point but soaked). It was embarrassing but then I was knocked out. Woke up and saw my wife and said "Mommy where is my diaper bag" with another nurse right there out of my sight... OMG and then they were both like hold off on putting on a diaper right now now. Then I soaked the bedsheets and finally was given the bag. Well as soon as I put the diaper on the doctor walked into the room (same age as me) seeing me there in a diaper. Like OK well here it is this is me! It was wild. It ended with a different set of nurses rolling me out in a wheel chair with them cracking up as I sang "see me rollin!"

The only habit I adopted from this foray was going to a trainer first thing in the morning, in the gym and wearing depends pull ups. I use the toilet there often once or twice during my visit but wear my pads and just let it flow if it happens. I figure it is okay to do that if it means I am getting healthier and stronger and focused on what I want. No BM accidents yet. Though if that happened I would just forgot I had an early meeting and leave early. So that Aspect I continue along the path this thread is on.

So yeah back to my story. I gave up on the pelvic training and just accepted the fact that I like diapers and that I want to be diaper dependent. I thought why pursue continence? So I can be some version of my future self my past self wanted? Some ethereal idea of what it meant to be a great man? I mean it was crazy. 

You know what? Me being in diapers is being the hero to my 5 year old self who had his diapers ripped away by his angry father after he found out mom kept buying me them. I am THAT BOYS HERO! I am Diaper Dependent now and that's really amazing. That's something to celebrate and something to be PROUD of! So yeah, I may not be running a Fortune 1000 company or running for Senate or doing a 2 week back-country ski touring journey in a few years BUT I am living my authentic life. I am my younger self's hero by wearing and using my diapers and embracing that. I am still coming to terms with this but it has been a profound shift.

I will give a shout out to my Therapist Dr. Rhoda, and Chat GPT Therapy (please hold any negative remarks I am aware of the issue - and I would highly recommend at least creating an anonymous profile there - mine is not I am fully open because I need help in my business related to diapers and it has been a God send) who have both helped me embrace my authentic diapered self. 

I am a better person now and my family has noticed a great improvement. I am still working on some shame issues (mostly when trying to wear a SUPER thick when mildly wet yet holds infinite amounts Trest which I am swearing off for the most part). Carrying a changing bag and just owning it.

Why do I say I am Diaper Dependent? Because 1 ) I need to wear them (sure maybe not every freaking moment but enough that it makes more sense to wear them then not), 2) I am just SO MUCH HAPPIER wearing and using my diapers than not and 3) DIAPERS SAVED MY LIFE, which sounds absurd but after having some suicidal thoughts and admitting this to my wife and some others, I just embraced diapers again and the depression lifted right away. Sure. I didn't choose this path. I didn't choose my poor bladder and bowel control. I didn't choose to love wearing, wetting and messing diapers. I didn't choose to have a sexual attraction to diapers. But I am choosing to accept myself just as I am, as God made me. I am trying to improve myself in many ways. To live a better life, a happier life, and I am going to live that life fully, diapers and all!

It is a work in progress so I thought I would update everyone here. Should I post more about my journey?

[superabsorbantpolymer]

Congrats on the journey of self acceptance! Thanks for the update. It's important to give yourself grace, I'm so happy you are being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to wear your protection without guilt. 

How would you describe your incontinence? Stress? Urge? Do you wet the bed? 

what's your wife's stance on your diaper dependency?

[Spargano]

If it is cathartic for you to post, please do. I also echo my happiness at your self acceptance!