Better way to train to wet the bed?

[bspecnoza]

I've currently been training for the past month to become a bed wetter. I've read up on a lot of the posts for those that have been successful and it seems that the safest and best way is to just wear every night and wet upon waking in the night. However it seems that this likely leads more to diaper trained wetting than true nocturnal bed wetting. I was thinking would the better thing to do be to wet the bed undiapered upon waking in the night instead? The thinking is this would disassociate bed wetting and wearing diapers? Has anyone gone down this route and have any anecdotal evidence that this would be a better way to truly train to wet the bed regardless of wearing diapers?

 

[longislandguy]

I have not found dependency an issue for me. I wear during the day because I want to not because I have to. That may have helped. But, for me, I have become a non-reliable bedwetter through time and patience. It was a combination of good diapers, hydrating before bed, and riding it out. In about six months I was sleep wetting a few times a week. That’s about where I am now 8 months in. Looking forward to more frequent and heavier wettings as time goes on but I’ll just wait and see. But, I don’t worry about an accident if I choose not to wear during the day. 

[bspecnoza]

51 minutes ago, longislandguy said:

I have not found dependency an issue for me. I wear during the day because I want to not because I have to. That may have helped. But, for me, I have become a non-reliable bedwetter through time and patience. It was a combination of good diapers, hydrating before bed, and riding it out. In about six months I was sleep wetting a few times a week. That’s about where I am now 8 months in. Looking forward to more frequent and heavier wettings as time goes on but I’ll just wait and see. But, I don’t worry about an accident if I choose not to wear during the day. 

Have you tried sleeping without a diaper to see if you still wet? It seems like there isn’t a lot of evidence that people who have achieved similar still wet undiapered. I’ve come across some who do not wet at all when not diapered. 
 

I’m trying to achieve bed wetting regardless of whether I’m wearing anything or not and I feel like only training with a diaper on will just cause diaper training not true bed wetting. 

[longislandguy]

I haven’t tried. Two reasons. One, I like wearing at night. Two, I do worry that I will wet which will cause restless sleep and potentially cold, wet sheets. Eventually I’ll try, but don’t want to break my streak right now. 

[Bret2]

I trained myself with diapers and I think your theory holds some weight.   If diapered I’ll be wet most every morning with no recollection of doing it.  If I sleep without diapers (a rarity), I tend to wake several times a night to use the bathroom and stay dry MOST nights.  However if I’m over hydrated, really tired, or have been drinking I’ll likely still wet the bed 

[stevewet]

15 hours ago, bspecnoza said:

I've currently been training for the past month to become a bed wetter. I've read up on a lot of the posts for those that have been successful and it seems that the safest and best way is to just wear every night and wet upon waking in the night. However it seems that this likely leads more to diaper trained wetting than true nocturnal bed wetting. I was thinking would the better thing to do be to wet the bed undiapered upon waking in the night instead? The thinking is this would disassociate bed wetting and wearing diapers? Has anyone gone down this route and have any anecdotal evidence that this would be a better way to truly train to wet the bed regardless of wearing diapers?

 

The problem is most people can't sleep in a truly wet bed. So they use nappies. I use nappies for convenience but a wet bed doesn't bother me, it never has.

[oznl]

16 hours ago, bspecnoza said:

I've currently been training for the past month to become a bed wetter. I've read up on a lot of the posts for those that have been successful and it seems that the safest and best way is to just wear every night and wet upon waking in the night. However it seems that this likely leads more to diaper trained wetting than true nocturnal bed wetting. I was thinking would the better thing to do be to wet the bed undiapered upon waking in the night instead? The thinking is this would disassociate bed wetting and wearing diapers? Has anyone gone down this route and have any anecdotal evidence that this would be a better way to truly train to wet the bed regardless of wearing diapers?

 

It’s certainly a safe way so long as you don’t sleep on an electric blanket 🤣

My experience has been that it’s definitely a kind of learned behaviour (as opposed to incontinence) but also over time it becomes easier for it to occur..

Initially, a lot of stars need to align for it to happen.  I suspect you need to be very used to doing it and you need to feel “safe” and that it’s “ok”.

Early on, that may mean that you only bed wet in diapers.  I think my very earliest bedwetting episodes only happened when I was not only diapered, but already somewhat-wet.  The bedwetting signal seemed to slowly grow stronger over time though.  This culminated in me attempting to sleep in a bed without a nappy on for a weekend.

The first night was sleepless with many trips to the bathroom.  The second night was sleepless because I was woken by cold, wet sheets at 2am and had to strip the bed (having proved the point, I put a nappy on for the balance of that night).

As an aside, I found it impossible to do more than doze fitfully in a wet bed.  The clean up is also hellish (assuming you don't want a bedroom smelling of stale pee).

It was several months of "24/7" before the first "bedwetting" (diaper use whilst asleep) occurred.  It was probably closer to 3 years before wet beds started appearing regularly.  They're still not an every-night thing but they are common enough now.  A dry week would be unusual and I know from testing that going undiapered will not necessarily keep me dry.

[stevewet]

Going without a nappy would result in me being soaking wet by morning.

[justforfun]

18 hours ago, bspecnoza said:

Have you tried sleeping without a diaper to see if you still wet? It seems like there isn’t a lot of evidence that people who have achieved similar still wet undiapered. I’ve come across some who do not wet at all when not diapered. 
 

I’m trying to achieve bed wetting regardless of whether I’m wearing anything or not and I feel like only training with a diaper on will just cause diaper training not true bed wetting. 

I trained myself back to sleep wetting about 20 years ago.  It does sound like my experience is at least a little unusual, in that the fully-generalized sleep wetting resulted from the untraining.

While I was mostly focused on wetting at night, what developed was a tendency to wet myself whenever I'm sleeping... diapered or not, including during naps on the couch/plane/etc.  It didn't happen all at once, of course, but I learned through experience that my wetting is not limited to night, or only while diapered.  I'm not sure why the "scope creep" occurred; while I was working to untrain myself I tried many, many things all at once (random alarm timing, many different hypnosis files, diapered and non-diapered wetting, and so on), so I'm not sure what lead to general sleep wetting, if there was only one thing.

The training has also resisted several significant attempts to re-train, so whatever I did to myself all those years ago, it worked.

[Little Sherri]

I didn't set out to train to wet the bed, per se, I just wanted to wear diapers all the time, including to bed. I had a childhood history of being a champion bedwetter, but had outgrown that, and other than a couple of incidents, my adult years had mostly been spent on pristine, dry bedding. Once I started wearing diapers to bed, I became annoyed at having to wake up in order to pee in them, and I would tend to barely awaken, start the process, and then drift off to sleep again, while it was still happening. At first, I remembered most, if not all of these instances, but after doing it for months and years, I found myself waking up in a wet diaper once in a while, with no recollection whatsoever of having wet it, and that started happening with more frequency, although it is still far from clockwork. At this point, 5 years in, I sometimes go a week or two without any recorded instance; it can be hard to know for sure, because I sometimes go to bed already a bit wet. Other weeks, I wet my diaper overnight 3 or 4 nights out of 7 - it's very unpredictable, other than to say that, #1, alcohol helps, and #2, Murphy's Law definitely seems to have some influence in this universe, because it seems to happen more often when I don't necessarily want it to, such as when sleeping over at friends' houses, or in a hotel. Although I usually would have had at least a couple of adult beverages under such circumstances, so maybe rule #1 is more powerful than rule #2. But I believe that the Universe has a sense of humour, so if I'm going to soak some sheets, it is more likely to occur at the Hampton Inn or at my buddy's place, than it is at my own house on a night when my wife is away, and there would be next to no consequences. 

[foreverdl]

On 3/17/2024 at 12:26 PM, bspecnoza said:

I've currently been training for the past month to become a bed wetter. I've read up on a lot of the posts for those that have been successful and it seems that the safest and best way is to just wear every night and wet upon waking in the night. However it seems that this likely leads more to diaper trained wetting than true nocturnal bed wetting. I was thinking would the better thing to do be to wet the bed undiapered upon waking in the night instead? The thinking is this would disassociate bed wetting and wearing diapers? Has anyone gone down this route and have any anecdotal evidence that this would be a better way to truly train to wet the bed regardless of wearing diapers?

 

I am still in training after years. I wear 24/7, I just wet when I need to day or night, I have an idea for you what about putting on a very thin cheap diaper so for starters you may be able to trick you mind? I can't try this to see, because I don't sleep in a bed I sleep in my recliner so I diaper. But I have been getting more successful  I wake to pee and fall back to sleep while peeing . But if I sleep sound I don't wake up and when I do I am really wet. So just an idea.

[dlmolicares]

You may be on to something. As one of the responders indicated, many people have a negative association of sleeping in wet sheets. That may create a subconcious bias towards only bedwetting if in a diaper at night vs "anytime anywhere" bedwetting. In theory, sleeping for weeks without a diaper, wetting the sheets whenever the urinary urge comes on could reduce / remove that barrier. Meaning, training ones self to be comfortable letting go without a diaper every night. Eventually your body will let go automatically into the sheets (even without a diaper) Of course, you'd need to also be comfortable sleeping in a wet bed every night and probably have to reposition the idea of laundry every day to a positive. If you're wetting while asleep without a diaper consistently, I am confident you would likewise wet while asleep even with a diaper.

Speaking from experience, I am maybe 25% to half used to sleeping in a wet bed (If the diaper majorly leaks, I won't change the sheets until the morning. But I do take off the wet shirt and usually the underpad and set them aside for the morning.

That said, I have trained to uncontrollable wettings at night when in a diaper (Example- staying in a friend's new bed, minimizing liquids and peeing right before bed to not have an accident THAT night... but awakening having soaked the diaper and stained the bed without remembering it anyways) "Wetting without remembering" may happen up to several times a week, but I can also go maybe 2 weeks where it doesn't happen. A therapist once told me it's best to "go with the flow" meaning enjoy when it happens but don't stress if it doesn't (versus worrying about wetting or not wetting). Seems to work.

 

[deewet]

Seems to me this discussion is not leaning toward reality, but focusing on some perceived perception of what bed wetting must be classified as?

In reality, if you are wetting during the night while sleeping in bed, you are a bed wetter even if you are wearing protection to protect your sheets and mattress!

Splitting hairs by suggesting that the bed has to actually get wet to become a true bedwetter seems to me to be moving into this realm of  fantasy.  Lets get real now and focus on what is happening to the many who visit here, and talk about issues that really matter!

 

[dlmolicares]

More so speaking to the training dynamics and our subconscious- which has been an absolutely amazing journey for me over a number of years. At the start of the journey, all of us (who aren't already bedwetters) have a whole host of learned behaviors that prevent bedwetting. Through the journey I've learned to recognize (and overcome) many of them for the purposes of my overall goal to truly be a bedwetter.

For example, wetting while laying down feels awkward at first but can be trained. Accepting that you'll need diapers and protection every night- even in nights when it's not practical (business trips, family vacations, etc) was a big barrier for me. Once accepted, it brought me another step closer. There are probably other barriers that had to be overcome. Trick is to recognize them (which can be hearing from others here, or equally importantly looking into your personal motivations and subconscious drivers to the extent you can)

I definitely consider myself a bedwetter in that I have total accidents with no recollection of it happening (that feeling of waking up soaked and not even knowing how) but I also sense there is a remaining barrier of sorts, which is a deeper preference for not having to sleep in wet sheets.

It can be addressed one of a couple ways- by having ultra protection (so we KNOW that the sheets won't get wet) or by getting the mind to accept that if we have to sleep in wet sheets it's OK. I am still working on this front. Ultra protection is easiest conceptually (alternative would be to train to get used to and accepting of wet sheets) but the challenge is that I've not found how to have 100% ultra protection. Have been wearing a hefty diaper for years, along with the rubber pants, insert, and underpad. Still I often wake up with wet sheets. Being a side sleeper might be part of it.

TLDR: Not saying you have to sleep in wet sheets to truly be a bedwetter, but what I am saying is that if someone has a deep concern about sleeping in wet sheets that it could be a minor barrier to an extent- IE part of the subconscious still holds back from wetting out of concern for wet sheets (either not wetting if already wet b/c of concern about wet sheets, or not wetting due to distrust of the protection being inadequate)

[stevewet]

1 hour ago, dlmolicares said:

More so speaking to the training dynamics and our subconscious- which has been an absolutely amazing journey for me over a number of years. At the start of the journey, all of us (who aren't already bedwetters) have a whole host of learned behaviors that prevent bedwetting. Through the journey I've learned to recognize (and overcome) many of them for the purposes of my overall goal to truly be a bedwetter.

For example, wetting while laying down feels awkward at first but can be trained. Accepting that you'll need diapers and protection every night- even in nights when it's not practical (business trips, family vacations, etc) was a big barrier for me. Once accepted, it brought me another step closer. There are probably other barriers that had to be overcome. Trick is to recognize them (which can be hearing from others here, or equally importantly looking into your personal motivations and subconscious drivers to the extent you can)

I definitely consider myself a bedwetter in that I have total accidents with no recollection of it happening (that feeling of waking up soaked and not even knowing how) but I also sense there is a remaining barrier of sorts, which is a deeper preference for not having to sleep in wet sheets.

It can be addressed one of a couple ways- by having ultra protection (so we KNOW that the sheets won't get wet) or by getting the mind to accept that if we have to sleep in wet sheets it's OK. I am still working on this front. Ultra protection is easiest conceptually (alternative would be to train to get used to and accepting of wet sheets) but the challenge is that I've not found how to have 100% ultra protection. Have been wearing a hefty diaper for years, along with the rubber pants, insert, and underpad. Still I often wake up with wet sheets. Being a side sleeper might be part of it.

TLDR: Not saying you have to sleep in wet sheets to truly be a bedwetter, but what I am saying is that if someone has a deep concern about sleeping in wet sheets that it could be a minor barrier to an extent- IE part of the subconscious still holds back from wetting out of concern for wet sheets (either not wetting if already wet b/c of concern about wet sheets, or not wetting due to distrust of the protection being inadequate)

Definitely,  if you worry about the bed getting wet you are defeating the object. Nappies leak, not always but it happens. My advice is if you want to be a bedwetter always think of your self as one. Protect your bed, wear nappies but just accept sometimes you will wake up with a wet bed. There will be problems you must overcome along the way but they can be worked around. I found family and friends were not such a big deal. One thing you can't do is switch bedwetting on and off. If you want to be a bedwetter you have to live as one all the time. The rest will follow.

[longislandguy]

8 hours ago, deewet said:

In reality, if you are wetting during the night while sleeping in bed, you are a bed wetter even if you are wearing protection to protect your sheets and mattress!

Meh….I don’t know. I have been working to untrain at night and have been wetting 3-4 nights a week lately. That is as a result of decent hydration before sleep which now means more often than not I will wake up wet. It’s never a lot, but it’s there. I don’t consider myself a bedwetter. Yes,  wet at night on occasion, but it is a result of actions prior. I have no doubt that I would not wet if those steps were not taken or if I made an effort to stop. 

[dlmolicares]

Agree, a lot of this is semantics. May post something tomorrow on the mental barriers.There are definitely barriers if one has never wet the bed (other than infant) but they can be overcome. Also, agree with your description of being a bedwetter- some if it is in eye of the beholder. Ultimately we're all trying to figure our things out and find our right "place"

[foreverdl]

I had a thought someone that slept in a wet bed all night every night when say over an age of maybe 10? I think they were more comfortable in the wet bed, I know o would be loving it to be able to sleep in a soaked bed. But if you try lay face down in bed with a good amount of bed Protection and padding to soak it up. Then relax and before you go to sleep, just let go and lay there and enjoy the warm wet, then if you wake up need to pee just let go, if you do this it could make your body and mind feel its ok to do it. It's just a thought 💭 and I wish I could do it. My wife is not one for the pee smell, so I keep the smell under control for her.

[stevewet]

6 hours ago, foreverdl said:

I had a thought someone that slept in a wet bed all night every night when say over an age of maybe 10? I think they were more comfortable in the wet bed, I know o would be loving it to be able to sleep in a soaked bed. But if you try lay face down in bed with a good amount of bed Protection and padding to soak it up. Then relax and before you go to sleep, just let go and lay there and enjoy the warm wet, then if you wake up need to pee just let go, if you do this it could make your body and mind feel its ok to do it. It's just a thought 💭 and I wish I could do it. My wife is not one for the pee smell, so I keep the smell under control for her.

I slept in a wet bed from being about 8 or 9 until I went back to nappies at 15. I just got used to it and eventually it just felt normal. I think that is why it doesn't bother me now.

[justforfun]

On 3/20/2024 at 5:39 AM, dlmolicares said:

More so speaking to the training dynamics and our subconscious- which has been an absolutely amazing journey for me over a number of years. At the start of the journey, all of us (who aren't already bedwetters) have a whole host of learned behaviors that prevent bedwetting. Through the journey I've learned to recognize (and overcome) many of them for the purposes of my overall goal to truly be a bedwetter.

I would speculate (with absolutely no data, mind you) that the the most important part of the training is convincing your mind that it's ok to wet, rather than waking.  I remember listening to a number of hypnosis files that weren't so much "YOU WILL WET THE BED", but more, "It's ok, and not a big deal, so don't worry about if you do wet, or don't wet.  It's all good". 

This goes to the same comments about being sure of no leaks, and so on, before being comfortable enough to allow the sleeping brain to let it go.  A related part of that is the setting of a-randomly timed alarm (somewhere in the 2-4am range), where I would wake, immediately pee in whatever position I was in, then turn off the alarm and go back to sleep.  Eventually I became less and less conscious of the waking, until I was just wetting and the alarm wasn't necessary.

I was just thinking of a fun little electronics project... an 'anti-no-bedetting-alarm'.  Modify a bedwetting alarm such that if it is _not_ wet by a random time, the alarm goes off and you have to wet to turn it off.  I bet it wouldn't be too long until one started wetting before the alarm went off so that you didn't get woken up.  ...Or maybe you'd just wet whenever you heard an alarm.  *Shrug* who knows.  

[WBxx]

6 hours ago, stevewet said:

I slept in a wet bed from being about 8 or 9 until I went back to nappies at 15. I just got used to it and eventually it just felt normal. I think that is why it doesn't bother me now.

The only time sleeping wet bothered me was when my wet sheets were not changed in the morning and didn’t dry beneath the covers during the day.  Crawling into the cold and smelly still wet bed the following night was not pleasant.  Outside of that I don’t recall ever minded sleeping wet.  In reality part of me enjoyed it!

[stevewet]

45 minutes ago, WBxx said:

The only time sleeping wet bothered me was when my wet sheets were not changed in the morning and didn’t dry beneath the covers during the day.  Crawling into the cold and smelly still wet bed the following night was not pleasant.  Outside of that I don’t recall ever minded sleeping wet.  In reality part of me enjoyed it!

The amount of times as a kid I slept in the same unchanged bed. My mother refused to change my bed every day. I just got used to it. Often I peed it deliberately to warm it up a bit.

[WBxx]

1 hour ago, stevewet said:

The amount of times as a kid I slept in the same unchanged bed. My mother refused to change my bed every day. I just got used to it. Often I peed it deliberately to warm it up a bit.

Mine refused to change during the night but would during the day if she knew I’d wet.  Not sure if it was by her direction or my decision, but I never placed a towel over the stain or did anything to alleviate the “discomfort” of a wet bed.  I just laid/slept in it till morning … didn’t bother me in the least.  Still doesn’t.

[foreverdl]

3 hours ago, WBxx said:

The only time sleeping wet bothered me was when my wet sheets were not changed in the morning and didn’t dry beneath the covers during the day.  Crawling into the cold and smelly still wet bed the following night was not pleasant.  Outside of that I don’t recall ever minded sleeping wet.  In reality part of me enjoyed it!

I have shared on DD before , I shared a room with my brother and step brother . I had stopped mostly peeing the bed by then age 10. They shared a king bed that was not nor had never been protected . It was wet always and never dried out. Well I was soo in Love with the smell, I got near that bed and got hard, I didn't understand what the getting aroused . But I knew I Loved it, when I was alone, I stripped and got in under the soaked smelly bed, blankets , and I get aroused now typing this, I humped it I may have cum, ? Don't know, but I wish my wife was into a wet bed we would have a soaked bed..

[nappyboymids]

I wonder if wearing cloth nappies at night might help you on your way: the thing about disposables is they're designed to make you feel as dry as possible and so, actually, you don't get used to feeling really wet.  OTOH, cloth nappies really do feel wet and if you use them regularly you get accustomed to that feeling.  I've noticed recently that even why my nappies leak (and sometimes the leaks are quite big) I still sleep straight through and wake up in the morning to a wet patch on my bed pad ...