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And yes,

I think I should have tried explained it all better.

I don't regret my surgery.  I have had problems and complications but I don't mind that.

Yes, I inflicted this on myself, and now I am STUCK with it.

I am surprised at now I have to wear diapers all the time.  And every single situation I can't escape it.  There are situations I was never thinking about diapers, and now in all of those situations I have to be in a diaper, no matter what.

Guess what, I didn't think of every little thing in advance.

But, I am not complaining about my surgery or my incontinence.  I just don't think I should have to change my life around because of this IF it's not necessary.  That's why this is tripping me up, I don't know the best way.

Here is my thing with the gym...

I am going to the gym because I made a promise to myself at the beginning, I would not shy away from things, because once becoming incontinent I might have a risk of becoming too afraid, and staying home, no longer living my life.  That is not fair to me to cancel my whole life based on this problem.

So now, I am always on the lookout for things that have changed or that stop me from doing the "normal thing" and I want to always make sure I don't let fear stop me from "continuing to live my life."  Because I am anxious anyway and I have a lot of social anxiety and I want to do the normal thing given the circumstances.

Now, I have the dilemma because I want to be at the gym like everybody else, be normal, not bother anybody, but not go out of my way to do inconveniences.  If that starts happening, then what's the point, and it's the same as giving up on life.

You know, it's pretty convenient just to be able to shower, and then come back and get all your stuff out of your locker and just get dressed and go, all at once.  That is why everybody does that.

If that is OKAY, then I will work on my embarrassment.  If that is my only problem, I can work on it and get over it.

If it is NOT OKAY, then I shouldn't work on my embarrassment, I should do something else, find a different way, or a different gym.

But if it's just a matter of my embarrassment I would rather work on that, than work on a convoluted other way of doing things.

I need to know if I am once again letting fear overtake me from just getting on with life.  This is why I want to analyze the situation.

Now, a concern was stated that I want to do whatever I want, with no regard to SOCIETY AT LARGE.

This is not my goal, but it is of course a concern for me too.

I am just trying to do the "normal" thing and it involves walking a tightrope between complaining about things and bothering SOCIETY AT LARGE.

This is the exact dilemma I am trying to navigate so I already understand that I don't want to become a nuissance.

This is becoming long but in the end I think I like Sherri's points.

Also keep in mind I wouldn't "change my diaper" at the locker because I would go to the bathroom for that.  I am only at the locker because I need to get dressed.  I was leaning towards the diaper is part of me getting dressed.

But I do take all the input and I appreciate it.

Like I said, I can't figure this out and that's why I am going on about it.

And I am sorry for not explaining it right.

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29 minutes ago, Reddy said:

I am going to the gym because I made a promise to myself at the beginning, I would not shy away from things, because once becoming incontinent I might have a risk of becoming too afraid, and staying home, no longer living my life.  That is not fair to me to cancel my whole life based on this problem.

And this paragraph right here is the entire reason I feel a lot of people on here haven't understood where Reddy is coming from.  

Absolutely brave stuff.

It would be far too easy to become a social hermit, rather than face the issues, deal with them at the time (or over time), and move on.

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Reddy... Here's my last thought on the gym thing.

I think you mentioned that you go from work, to the gym, so you would be in a diaper.  I'd think it wouldn't be to hard to ditch the diaper - in a toilet stall, under a towel, whatever. But what about after your workout and shower? Do you usually go straight home? If so, I would think that a pullup, something like a Depends Real Fit, might work. I've used the Depends RealFit pull ups before. They look pretty much like underwear, and many guys wear them for post-urination dripping. So less embarrassment putting it on, and it would probably last until you got home.

 

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1 minute ago, Diapered Dave said:

Reddy... Here's my last thought on the gym thing.

I think you mentioned that you go from work, to the gym, so you would be in a diaper.  I'd think it wouldn't be to hard to ditch the diaper - in a toilet stall, under a towel, whatever. But what about after your workout and shower? Do you usually go straight home? If so, I would think that a pullup, something like a Depends Real Fit, might work. I've used the Depends RealFit pull ups before. They look pretty much like underwear, and many guys wear them for post-urination dripping. So less embarrassment putting it on, and it would probably last until you got home.

 

That makes sense, and I have thought about that.  The reason I don't do that is I normally go to bed as soon as I get home from the gym, or not long after.  So I am used to putting on a diaper that will last me all evening, all night and the morning until I shower for work.

I don't have any pull ups right now either because they generally don't work for me for other reasons (can't change away from home easily, leak too much).

Well, maybe it would work because I don't wet over night really.  I just don't want to start a pullup and then have to change again and waste one.  But it could potentially work sometimes.

Yeah the first diaper is not a problem because I keep it on for the whole workout and just take it off before I shower.  It's the putting on of the diaper after the shower that I need two hands for.

 

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One thing you might consider is that many people who are incontinent don't use just one type of diaper, they have an assortment of them and use the one that is most appropriate to the situation.  I have cloth diapers and PUL pants that I wear at night and around home; tape-on disposable diapers are more discrete and are used away from home (I also have these in various degrees of absorbency depending on how long I expect to go between changes); disposable pull-ups are useful for short duration situations again where discretion is a priority; reusable pull-ups are handy around home when I want to delay putting on my nighttime diaper until just before going to bed. They are also reasonably discrete and can be used away from home, but have limited absorbency.

Now that you are incontinent, I think you'll find that you'll have to make some adjustments to your normal routine to accommodate that condition.  Having an assortment of protective underwear available will help in managing your new condition.

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Go to Amazon and search "men incontinence underwear."

They have several different kinds and brands of washable, re-useable incontinence underwear that look like regular men's underwear...  Meant for light leakage. They would get you home, and you can just wash it like regular clothes.

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Just now, Diapered Dave said:

Go to Amazon and search "men incontinence underwear."

They have several different kinds and brands of washable, re-useable incontinence underwear that look like regular men's underwear...  Meant for light leakage. They would get you home, and you can just wash it like regular clothes.

OK I am gonna look at those.  If they can hold enough that would be great.  I had some that didn't hold much and just got all wet but maybe there are better ones.

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So I finally joined so I could comment. Reddy, I have followed your journey from the start.

i have been medically incontinent for 5 years. Before that I was a life long DL. I go to the gym regularly. I just shower at home. I usually wear goodnites at the gym. Pro tip. If you have a sauna at the gym, use it after your work out. Not only are there amazing health benefits, it heats you up so your body retains water. I can drink a liter of water while working out and not pee for 2 hours. (In this case you can get by with a reusable boxer brief because you won’t produce the urine)
I have to say, I am not completely urinary incontinent. Knowing full is a possibility, I’ll have the money shortly to pay cash, I am telling myself all the reasons not to. But I really want it! why couldn’t a simple sphincterotomy work?

I enjoyed following your journey.

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6 hours ago, Reddy said:

That makes sense, and I have thought about that.  The reason I don't do that is I normally go to bed as soon as I get home from the gym, or not long after.  So I am used to putting on a diaper that will last me all evening, all night and the morning until I shower for work.

I don't have any pull ups right now either because they generally don't work for me for other reasons (can't change away from home easily, leak too much).

Well, maybe it would work because I don't wet over night really.  I just don't want to start a pullup and then have to change again and waste one.  But it could potentially work sometimes.

Yeah the first diaper is not a problem because I keep it on for the whole workout and just take it off before I shower.  It's the putting on of the diaper after the shower that I need two hands for.

 

You mentioned how you leak with pull ups, how much have you worn them post surgery? I imagine now that you are always leaking small amounts it would hold up better than pre surgery when you had a larger volume expelled at once. Do they always leak?

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5 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

You mentioned how you leak with pull ups, how much have you worn them post surgery? I imagine now that you are always leaking small amounts it would hold up better than pre surgery when you had a larger volume expelled at once. Do they always leak?

Yes, so far in my experience pull ups have always leaked.  I never tried them before the surgery I only tried them after the surgery.  But the problem is after being in it for hours.

5 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

You mentioned how you leak with pull ups, how much have you worn them post surgery? I imagine now that you are always leaking small amounts it would hold up better than pre surgery when you had a larger volume expelled at once. Do they always leak?

Yes, so far in my experience pull ups have always leaked.  I never tried them before the surgery I only tried them after the surgery.  But the problem is after being in it for hours.

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On 9/24/2024 at 8:40 AM, Reddy said:

 But I had two recent pooping accidents in my diaper.  When I couldn't get home fast enough and one time I pooped before I got to my apartment and the 2nd time I pooped when I was still driving home. 

As @Little Sherri has already mentioned, there is increasing evidence that the atrophy caused by a disused urinary control system has some faint contagion to the adjacent department around physiological corner.

When all things are normal, I have reasonable control however nowadays, if things are abnormal, my control is marginal and has, on what I'm disturbed to report is an increasing number of occasions, failed me.  Observe this week's update: another full nappy that I really didn't want.

I've thought before that there was some subconscious talk-track going on in my head that said "Go on! You're in a nappy anyway.  You know you want to."

I certainly did NOT want to do that with my beloved at the breakfast table.  Not in ANY scenario.

And yet it happened.  I've no idea if this is a trend or just a new aberrant behaviour but I'm pretty sure that before the whole strange days thing, I'd NEVER had accidents of this nature and now I do.  I hope that they remain occasional and require unusual provocation before they occur but let's face it, I can't know that.

You may yet be able to save yourself a fortune and the risk of additional surgery.  Just wait a while and see what happens.  There's loads of data points or, data points of loads 🤣

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9 hours ago, Reddy said:

Yes, so far in my experience pull ups have always leaked.  I never tried them before the surgery I only tried them after the surgery.  But the problem is after being in it for hours.

I remember you mentioning how you used them after the first surgery (when you had the stricture which would cause a larger buildup). Have you used them since the 2nd surgery, now that you have more smaller leakage? In my opinion they seem like the perfect solution to a quick, discreet changing option for the short amount of time after the gym and before putting on a night diaper. Even the crappiest pull up is more reliable than the reusable underwear in my opinion. 

You mentioned how your jeans often get wet, is that during changes you pee onto them, or are your diapers leaking? What products are you using/how often do you change? 

I was curious about the sling surgery, apparently it's only recommended for people with mild/moderate stress incontinence. You have severe incontinence (almost of your pee goes into diapers), so it's unlikely that a sling surgery would fix your problem, although it may reduce how incontinent you are. You would probably be a better candidate for an artificial urinary sphincter (more effective for severe incontinence). 

Did the urologist do a cystoscopy/is he aware that you don't have an external urinary sphincter anymore? 

 

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Maybe this could be a solution. I surf several days a week and change in and out of my wetsuit at the beach, and into a diaper before driving home. They make a towel that is sewn like a poncho meant for changing underneath, and gives you almost complete privacy. You could throw one of these on at your locker, take it off to shower, put it back on, walk back to your locker while drying off (they are awesome for drying your whole body at once), and put the new diaper on underneath.

Gray with white stripes surf poncho

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Man, I just want to say that some of these comments to Reddy were really rude and disrespectful. This is supposed to be a supportive forum of like minded people and some of the comments addressed to his valid questions and concerns were just mean. 
 

I’ll also mention that regardless of whether you choose it yourself like me Reddy and Bobby, or happen to end up with it, incontinence is a major life change that you have to fully experience to understand. Even for someone who regularly wears stents like cathdiap, you still have an off switch. Being truly incontinent and experiencing temporary incontinence are very different.
 

I’ve still been very happy with my incontinence myself as Bobby mentioned, but there is always a learning curve that comes with experiencing a permanent loss of bladder control, or whatever form of incontinence it is. Just try to be nice and take the time to understand someone before judging them, is all I’m saying. We’re all here for the same interests and reasons.

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A few people have asked for updates from me too, so I thought I’d give one.

I’m still very much incontinent. I have had one stricture treatment since my surgery last December and so far I don’t have a need to have another treatment. Considering it’s been 10 months or so since the surgery, I assume that it has settled down and the stricture won’t expand any more.

I’m quite used to the incontinence by now. When standing, my bladder will empty automatically, although simply using gravity and not movement it will take a bit longer. While walking, it empties extremely fast and my bladder essentially loses all the urine as soon as it’s in there. 

When sitting in a chair for long periods, my bladder will fill moderately and then empty suddenly with no real warning, even if I’m not moving. I love the feeling of this - I’ll be focusing on something on my computer and not paying attention to my body, and then all the sudden warm pee starts flowing rapidly all over my balls, and it can be flowing for a surprisingly long time. If I sit back or lean forward in my chair, I will have big gushes too.

I have had a few nights where I was drinking a lot of alcohol, and then would wake up with a wet bed and flooded pull-up. So I can wet the bed, but only if I have way too much liquid in me. Usually if I’m on my back or side, I won’t leak much, although if I sit up or twist or shift in bed urine will come out easily in squirts. 

One thing that I also love is the smell. My penis and balls always smell like pee. Even if I’ve just showered, washed myself thoroughly and put on a new pull up, within 20-30 minutes if I touch myself down there, the smell will be starting to become apparent again. I’m not sure why I love it exactly, but I do. It just reminds me that I am not in control of my bladder whatsoever, and I’ll always be peeing all over myself no matter what else is going on. 

I can still manage to have amazing orgasms and strong erections, but sometimes they feel less strong and it is a different feeling then I experienced before. Sometimes there are random pains or soreness or strange sensations that I’m not sure why they are happening, but that seems to be happening less and less and overall my body appears to be moving more towards “the way it was before” even if I still can’t hold my pee for the life of me. There are parts of the results that bug me or that I’m not especially happy about as well, but being incontinent was what I signed up for, and the surgery absolutely did accomplish that beyond a doubt.

Another really interesting moment was when I was at my urologist, wearing a wet pull up. I had to get undressed and take the pull up off, while dripping everywhere as usual. They asked if I have a new one to change into. It didn’t feel weird, it actually felt very natural to acknowledge it with a medical professional. There was no judging or anything, it was just them looking out for me and acknowledging the fact that I should probably change.

At the end of the day, my body does feel more aligned with my mind and my own “identity” now. There are many things I want to change about myself, insecurities, things about my health and appearance that I’m embarrassed of or need to fix. But being incontinent is not one of those things. It’s the one “wrong” thing that actually feels right.

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On 9/28/2024 at 3:09 PM, wetguy13579 said:

Another really interesting moment was when I was at my urologist, wearing a wet pull up. I had to get undressed and take the pull up off, while dripping everywhere as usual. They asked if I have a new one to change into. It didn’t feel weird, it actually felt very natural to acknowledge it with a medical professional. There was no judging or anything, it was just them looking out for me and acknowledging the fact that I should probably change.

Thanks for the informative update! As 1 of the 3 guys here who have had the surgery, it's interesting to hear how your experiences compare to Reddy's and BrownBobby's.

You mentioned your visit to your urologist... Does the urologist know about the surgery in Mexico? Is the doctor trying to correct your incontinence? I've thought about the surgery myself, but I always wonder how my regular doctor would react to my sudden incontinence, what questions would come up. On the other hand, I'm now in the age range where men start having prostate issues, which often requires surgery that sometimes results in incontinence, so I might end up there anyway...  🙄🤨

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9 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

Thanks for the informative update! As 1 of the 3 guys here who have had the surgery, it's interesting to hear how your experiences compare to Reddy's and BrownBobby's.

You mentioned your visit to your urologist... Does the urologist know about the surgery in Mexico? Is the doctor trying to correct your incontinence? I've thought about the surgery myself, but I always wonder how my regular doctor would react to my sudden incontinence, what questions would come up. On the other hand, I'm now in the age range where men start having prostate issues, which often requires surgery that sometimes results in incontinence, so I might end up there anyway...  🙄🤨

I told them that I went to Mexico for voluntary last resort surgery for chronic prostatitis - since I have also had documented prostate inflammation for a long time now. Apparently TURP can be done as a very last option for it, so I told them I found a doctor who offered that, and unfortunately I was incontinent after the surgery.

I have not asked for them to treat the incontinence no. I do need a urologist just to treat structures that might come back, and also for whatever complications might happen in the future as a result of the surgery. But they have acknowledged that I am incontinent, and have recommended pelvic physiotherapy. 

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On 9/28/2024 at 12:09 PM, wetguy13579 said:

A few people have asked for updates from me too, so I thought I’d give one.

I’m still very much incontinent. I have had one stricture treatment since my surgery last December and so far I don’t have a need to have another treatment. Considering it’s been 10 months or so since the surgery, I assume that it has settled down and the stricture won’t expand any more.

I’m quite used to the incontinence by now. When standing, my bladder will empty automatically, although simply using gravity and not movement it will take a bit longer. While walking, it empties extremely fast and my bladder essentially loses all the urine as soon as it’s in there. 

When sitting in a chair for long periods, my bladder will fill moderately and then empty suddenly with no real warning, even if I’m not moving. I love the feeling of this - I’ll be focusing on something on my computer and not paying attention to my body, and then all the sudden warm pee starts flowing rapidly all over my balls, and it can be flowing for a surprisingly long time. If I sit back or lean forward in my chair, I will have big gushes too.

I have had a few nights where I was drinking a lot of alcohol, and then would wake up with a wet bed and flooded pull-up. So I can wet the bed, but only if I have way too much liquid in me. Usually if I’m on my back or side, I won’t leak much, although if I sit up or twist or shift in bed urine will come out easily in squirts. 

One thing that I also love is the smell. My penis and balls always smell like pee. Even if I’ve just showered, washed myself thoroughly and put on a new pull up, within 20-30 minutes if I touch myself down there, the smell will be starting to become apparent again. I’m not sure why I love it exactly, but I do. It just reminds me that I am not in control of my bladder whatsoever, and I’ll always be peeing all over myself no matter what else is going on. 

I can still manage to have amazing orgasms and strong erections, but sometimes they feel less strong and it is a different feeling then I experienced before. Sometimes there are random pains or soreness or strange sensations that I’m not sure why they are happening, but that seems to be happening less and less and overall my body appears to be moving more towards “the way it was before” even if I still can’t hold my pee for the life of me. There are parts of the results that bug me or that I’m not especially happy about as well, but being incontinent was what I signed up for, and the surgery absolutely did accomplish that beyond a doubt.

Another really interesting moment was when I was at my urologist, wearing a wet pull up. I had to get undressed and take the pull up off, while dripping everywhere as usual. They asked if I have a new one to change into. It didn’t feel weird, it actually felt very natural to acknowledge it with a medical professional. There was no judging or anything, it was just them looking out for me and acknowledging the fact that I should probably change.

At the end of the day, my body does feel more aligned with my mind and my own “identity” now. There are many things I want to change about myself, insecurities, things about my health and appearance that I’m embarrassed of or need to fix. But being incontinent is not one of those things. It’s the one “wrong” thing that actually feels right.

Thanks for the update! Great to hear from you. 

Have you had any #2 accidents the surgery? Reddy mentioned how he's had a couple times when he's had sudden urges and had to use his diaper. Is fecal incontinence something you desire? 

Have you had any more conversations with friends/family about your incontinence? Have there been times when you wish you didn't have to deal with your incontinence?

You mentioned how when you are sitting you will get a build up of pee in your bladder which will suddenly leak out. Does this overwhelm your pull up? How often do they leak?  

What's your changing routine like/how many pull ups do you use per day? I imagine you must be changing a lot!

Thanks again! 

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3 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Thanks for the update! Great to hear from you. 

Have you had any #2 accidents the surgery? Reddy mentioned how he's had a couple times when he's had sudden urges and had to use his diaper. Is fecal incontinence something you desire? 

Have you had any more conversations with friends/family about your incontinence? Have there been times when you wish you didn't have to deal with your incontinence?

You mentioned how when you are sitting you will get a build up of pee in your bladder which will suddenly leak out. Does this overwhelm your pull up? How often do they leak?  

What's your changing routine like/how many pull ups do you use per day? I imagine you must be changing a lot!

Thanks again! 

Nope, no number 2 accidents. I can feel that my pelvic floor has been impacted a bit though. Overall the muscles seem a little bit less tight down there I think. I do not want fecal incontinence, and if I began to have it I would have that treated.

I haven’t really had any new conversations about the incontinence yet no. But as I said a while back in this thread, people you spend a lot of time around tend to find out. There are times when it can be annoying, but the inconvenience is also something I love in a weird way. Always needing to be thinking ahead and plan for constant bladder leakage.

As for floods, it doesn’t usually cause leaks. Maybe it’s just that I don’t drink enough or something, but I don’t deal with leaks very often, even while using depends which are my go to. When I have big floods while sitting, it’s the same thing. My balls and dick get super wet but the pull up will contain it. I only have leaks maybe a few times a month at most.

Usually I get up, discard the pull up from the night before, and put on a new one immediately. Then I’ll just change whenever I need to throughout the course of the day. It can vary a lot based on activity levels, fluids, or sometimes it just seems to vary naturally, but I’ll typically use 2-5 pull ups per day. It’s been more and it’s been less but usually within that range.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have been following this topic from the day it has been posted. I think it is very interesting to read and above all very informative. For all those whom share the same feelings it is almost an essential read. I can fully understand the desire to be or become diaper dependent, I share the same desire and feelings. For me the most valuable aspect of this topic is to learn about the struggles it gave Bobby brown, Reddy and maybe some others whom want down this road. To be honest I thought or better yet expected is was an onetime deal, you go in for surgery and that would be it, apparently it is much more complicated than that. Although I do not expect my desires and feelings to change for they’ve been a part of me for about as long as I can remember, I now know that surgery will not be an option for me.

Like so many others here on the forum I found a way to control the feelings and desires I have in a less invasive way. To me it is clear the method I use will be and is sufficient. In daily life I have to wear diapers, by choice. If I go to bed I will have to wear diapers, by choice cause if I wouldn’t I would wake up in a wet bed and throughout the day my clothing would be wet 24/7. The only thing that differs from surgery I can undo my incontinence if I want too, but I don’t. So I am really thankful or I really appreciate the fact that some of our members whom did go in for surgery shared their story, telling not only the upsides but also talked about the downsides of it all. The fact that both sides of the story are being highlighted makes it extremely valuable to make a proper assessment if surgery is something for you to pursue or not.

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1 hour ago, dlnoir said:

I have been following this topic from the day it has been posted. I think it is very interesting to read and above all very informative. For all those whom share the same feelings it is almost an essential read. I can fully understand the desire to be or become diaper dependent, I share the same desire and feelings. For me the most valuable aspect of this topic is to learn about the struggles it gave Bobby brown, Reddy and maybe some others whom want down this road. To be honest I thought or better yet expected is was an onetime deal, you go in for surgery and that would be it, apparently it is much more complicated than that. Although I do not expect my desires and feelings to change for they’ve been a part of me for about as long as I can remember, I now know that surgery will not be an option for me.

Like so many others here on the forum I found a way to control the feelings and desires I have in a less invasive way. To me it is clear the method I use will be and is sufficient. In daily life I have to wear diapers, by choice. If I go to bed I will have to wear diapers, by choice cause if I wouldn’t I would wake up in a wet bed and throughout the day my clothing would be wet 24/7. The only thing that differs from surgery I can undo my incontinence if I want too, but I don’t. So I am really thankful or I really appreciate the fact that some of our members whom did go in for surgery shared their story, telling not only the upsides but also talked about the downsides of it all. The fact that both sides of the story are being highlighted makes it extremely valuable to make a proper assessment if surgery is something for you to pursue or not.

I completely agree with you. This topic has reduced my interest in surgery to zero. The incontinence with my stent is the same during the day and even better at night.

A surgery would only put me at risk of hating incontinence. 

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2 hours ago, dlnoir said:

I have been following this topic from the day it has been posted. I think it is very interesting to read and above all very informative. For all those whom share the same feelings it is almost an essential read. I can fully understand the desire to be or become diaper dependent, I share the same desire and feelings. For me the most valuable aspect of this topic is to learn about the struggles it gave Bobby brown, Reddy and maybe some others whom want down this road. To be honest I thought or better yet expected is was an onetime deal, you go in for surgery and that would be it, apparently it is much more complicated than that. Although I do not expect my desires and feelings to change for they’ve been a part of me for about as long as I can remember, I now know that surgery will not be an option for me.

Like so many others here on the forum I found a way to control the feelings and desires I have in a less invasive way. To me it is clear the method I use will be and is sufficient. In daily life I have to wear diapers, by choice. If I go to bed I will have to wear diapers, by choice cause if I wouldn’t I would wake up in a wet bed and throughout the day my clothing would be wet 24/7. The only thing that differs from surgery I can undo my incontinence if I want too, but I don’t. So I am really thankful or I really appreciate the fact that some of our members whom did go in for surgery shared their story, telling not only the upsides but also talked about the downsides of it all. The fact that both sides of the story are being highlighted makes it extremely valuable to make a proper assessment if surgery is something for you to pursue or not.

I am really glad it helped because it is a big deal.  I think everybody who got it here is happy with it, but it is good to show what it's really like, good and bad, so people can see if it is what they want or not.

So I agree with you and that's why I appreciated what @BrownBobby and @wetguy13579 did for me, they shared what they went through and helped me understand what to expect in this process.  I am so thankful to them both.  And we all have something big in common, so it's really nice having them, because they truly understand.  It's a gift from them, and I appreciate it, and I and I want to offer that too if anybody needs it.

It was definitely the right thing for me.  I didn't even wear diapers much before this, and now I have no choice at all, I have to wear diapers whether I like to or not, and sometimes I don't like it.  Like I posted, I did wear diapers 24/7 for a long time once but I stopped because I didn't like it, there was no point.  But now I'm stuck in diapers.

But this is still the right choice for me.  I didn't need to wear diapers constantly before in order to prepare.  There was no point.  I had no interest in wearing diapers by choice, I only wanted to wear them if I had to.   Now I am figuring it out suddenly.  But my point is for me, that doesn't matter.  I have to figure it out now, so I do.  It was still the best choice for me to do this.  It doesn't matter whether I got used to it before or now.  It didn't change whether I am happy with it, because I already knew I wanted it.  I also didn't think the side effects would bother me that much and I was right, they don't.  But that's just me.  Everybody is different.

Some of you will not want the surgery at all now, and that is what makes sense for you, and that's great.

So I am glad it was helpful to read and thank you for saying so.

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On 10/9/2024 at 3:17 AM, Reddy said:

I am really glad it helped because it is a big deal.  I think everybody who got it here is happy with it, but it is good to show what it's really like, good and bad, so people can see if it is what they want or not.

So I agree with you and that's why I appreciated what @BrownBobby and @wetguy13579 did for me, they shared what they went through and helped me understand what to expect in this process.  I am so thankful to them both.  And we all have something big in common, so it's really nice having them, because they truly understand.  It's a gift from them, and I appreciate it, and I and I want to offer that too if anybody needs it.

It was definitely the right thing for me.  I didn't even wear diapers much before this, and now I have no choice at all, I have to wear diapers whether I like to or not, and sometimes I don't like it.  Like I posted, I did wear diapers 24/7 for a long time once but I stopped because I didn't like it, there was no point.  But now I'm stuck in diapers.

But this is still the right choice for me.  I didn't need to wear diapers constantly before in order to prepare.  There was no point.  I had no interest in wearing diapers by choice, I only wanted to wear them if I had to.   Now I am figuring it out suddenly.  But my point is for me, that doesn't matter.  I have to figure it out now, so I do.  It was still the best choice for me to do this.  It doesn't matter whether I got used to it before or now.  It didn't change whether I am happy with it, because I already knew I wanted it.  I also didn't think the side effects would bother me that much and I was right, they don't.  But that's just me.  Everybody is different.

Some of you will not want the surgery at all now, and that is what makes sense for you, and that's great.

So I am glad it was helpful to read and thank you for saying so.

Well said 👏 

> Now I am figuring it out suddenly.  But my point is for me, that doesn't matter.  I have to figure it out now, so I do.

Have there been any more things lately that surprised you or you've had to figure out?

Have you been back to the gym/figured out a routine that works for you to be protected while changing?

I love hearing about your journey, even mundane updates are appreciated!

> also didn't think the side effects would bother me that much and I was right, they don't.

I was wondering how the TURP affects the prostates sensation. Have you ever had an anal orgasm (prostate)? If so has the sensation changed since the surgery?

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@Reddy  @wetguy13579 I'm really glad you're happy with your decisions and hope you're both looking forward to lifelong incontinence and diaper-wearing.  Like so many others, I've followed this thread from the beginning and been fascinated by all the twists and turns.  Overall, for me, I think, like @cathdiap and @dlnoir, the stent route is probably the best for me, at least for now.  If I had a long-term partner who was as fascinated with and excited about incontinence as me I'd seriously consider the surgical route so we could spend our lives in uncontrollably wet diapers - but for now, I'll read on.  Good luck!

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