How much do you care if your diaper or pull up shows in public? What effort do you make to fix it?

[2sail2]

With the 1 and 10% options, I was thinking those might be a parade, but exclude that situation.

 

 

 

[Cmp]

Apart from work I don’t have any choice in what I wear even then I’m wearing a northshore megamax or crinklz or a better dry . 
most of the time I aloud to go to my friends I have to wear terries and I can’t hide them for nothing. 
when I go out shopping or anything else I’m normally told to wear a work diaper and a nru str8up or two work diapers. 
It doesn’t matter if you are able to see my diaper or not because you are definitely going to smell them even if they dry and clean I have to use baby lotion cream and talc . 
 

[Alyeskabird]

I tend to try and conceal, but, honestly, mistakes happen, just moving around exposure does happen now and again. I have also been wearing long enough that I am not going to panic about it. On the other hand I tend to try and keep things under covers, just because I am carefull and I do not want to advertise that I am wearing. Still, its not something thats worth panicing about, just check your clothing now and again, and understand that shit happens.

[rusty pins]

I'm not incontinent, I'm a DL. 

The second question is a lot tougher for me to answer.  When around town or near any people I know, I rarely wear a diaper, but there have been times I wear a low end store type diaper under my jeans when I run to the store.  I have run into people I know while shopping diapered.  I never ever want anyone I know to discover I like wearing diapers, therefore when I do take a short trip around town to stop at the store, I make sure my shirt stays tucked in and there is no noticeable diaper bulge.  When I am out of town shopping or out of state on a solo trip, it really doesn't matter very much if someone may notice I am wearing a diaper due to the bulk of a premium diaper or if it shows out the back of my jeans if I have to bend down and my shirt rides up.  A stranger is very unlikely to come up to me and say that they noticed my diaper showing when I bent down.  I don't know that person and will probably never see them again when out of town on a vacation trip.  They will assume I have a medical need for them. Why I put "7" is because I don't care much if a stranger out of town notices but not anyone I know around my own town.  I try to be as discreet as possible, but if my diaper should show, that happens.  it's not on purpose or that I flaunt it.  When out regularly in diapers, it's mostly when out of town running errands, Christmas shopping or a solo vacation trip every one or two years.  Solo vacation means diapers 24 hours a day from the time I leave home until the time I return 6 days later.  That means everywhere I go, everything I do, all the tourist sights, restaurants and activities.  I'm never not wearing a diaper on a solo vacation, but always being in diapers means I take care that my diaper is not obvious to people around me.  Not fanatically, just normal care that my diaper isn't noticeable with a rare exception of my shirt riding up when I bend down. 

The third question is about 70% as well.  I try and be very discreet when out of town in a diaper, but I do wear premium diapers like Betterdry when gone for most of the day.  They can look a bit bulky but my experience is no one will notice.  They are wrapped up in their own world and thoughts, and unless they are AB or DL themselves, the last thing they will think is an adult is wearing diapers under their jeans.  The 70% choice is because even though I know I try and keep my shirt tucked in and discreet, sometimes things happen like bending over in a store or sitting in a chair at a fast food place for lunch and having my shirt ride up exposing some of my diaper.  I try and tuck it in but if I made a sudden move and obviously started tucking things in, it would direct more attention to me.  I wear jeans most of the time, short denim camper style shorts when on vacation and yes, much bulkier diapers.  The jeans and shorts I wear are thicker fabric that help hide the bulge of thicker diapers better than knit dress pants or some sweat pants, but the fact is, bulkier premium diapers are thicker and swell up more, making it harder to keep a slim profile.  When I can on vacation, I wear a plain T-shirt onesie that keeps my shirt from being untucked exposing my diaper, but there are only enough onesies for the major things.  I do have to wear tshirts some of the time and yes, they can come untucked.  I try and get long ones but sometimes they shrink a bit in the wash.  I don't go around trying to make it obvious I have diapers on under my clothes, but the 70% discreetness I chose was realizing that with the thick diapers I sometimes choose to wear, it is not quite as discreet as a thinner diaper and the fact that while I do attempt discreetness, I know the chance my shirt may come untucked in the back exposing my diaper is very possible in some situations.

My overall thought is people should try and be as discreet as they can when out in diapers instead of flaunting them to everyone around, but you have to find a middle ground or somewhere in between 10% and 100% in your no show effort.  Depending on your choice of diaper, clothing and activity you are engaged in, you may never be able to make that 100% effort for no show of your diaper.  Likewise, the other end of the spectrum is going out in just a diaper on the beach or clothing that makes it impossible not to tell someone is wearing bulky diapers.  One extreme to the other.  Personally, I don't see a little diaper showing discreetly when you bend down normally dressed as an issue.  Same as a fat guy in shorts bending down and showing his butt crack.  No one wants to see that, but it happens at times.  Someone, however, going out in thick bulky diapers with a snap crotch shortall with his diapers showing through the legs and a pacifier around his neck in stores, beach and among the public is going too far in my opinion.  Yeah, some will say everyone has a right to dress in public as they please as long as it's not indecent, but people also have the rights to enjoy their days without having to see an adult dressed in diapers and a snap crotch outfit when they are out to enjoy their day.  That's where the middle ground come into play.

[Kawaharu]

For me being Incontinent and AB, I don't even care if people notice or see me in diapers. I don't even hide them as well because I am not ashamed of being in diapers. Since I am an adult baby and Incontinent, I know I am never ashamed or afraid of people knowing I am diapered. I have been wearing long enough that I know I am never going to panic if someone sees me diapered. It's why I don't bother trying to hide them because I know I need them and they help me get through the day. 

[2sail2]

Around family, I care a lot as they don't know.  I almost never see siblings or cousins--in different states.

I have gained weight so pants have become tight in the waist.  I did buy new jeans as the current ones started to get holes--bad for work.   I think someone was following me one time up the stairs to 1st floor and said something along the lines I was walking weird.  I think I walk weird...a bazillion years ago someone made a similar comment and I wasn't wearing then (I think they called me Popeye walk or something kicking my feet out in front).   I do generally wear dark pants, so vdl is not noticeable.  I used to wear shorts all the time, but my skin doctor has told me to wear suntan lotion all the time.  The pants and some shirts I buy are SPF 50 rated.

I wear a pull  up while boating as there are no toilets.  My shirt will often fly up in the wind--pants too tight to tuck in shirt.  Sometimes I feel to see if the waist band that I folded down has snuck up.  USually it doesn't seem to.  Though I have pushed it down at other times.

 

[Babypants]

4 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

For me being Incontinent and AB, I don't even care if people notice or see me in diapers. I don't even hide them as well because I am not ashamed of being in diapers. Since I am an adult baby and Incontinent, I know I am never ashamed or afraid of people knowing I am diapered. I have been wearing long enough that I know I am never going to panic if someone sees me diapered. It's why I don't bother trying to hide them because I know I need them and they help me get through the day. 

Well said.  As an incontinent, both bladder and bowel, diapers for me are akin to an asthmatic carrying an inhaler, or an insulin dependent diabetic carrying a pouch for her/his supplies.  I have a great deal of fun teasing my elderly neighbors who aren't incontinent but instead find themselves trapped in the "getting up to pee three times a night" ritual that diapers spare me those trips to the toilet, and pretty much guarantee me a more restful night's sleep.  Perhaps because I treat incontinence as a relatively minor health issue. and diapers as just one of those things, no one ever gets offended, never mind abusive.  Shame is simply not a dynamic in play for long-term incontinents.

[ppdude]

I've gotten to the point where I don't care about discovery. I wear my size in clothing -- don't go up to hide the diaper. If it shows -- it shows.

The plastic/PUL pants keep things under wrap and everything is tucked inside those nicely. Nothing is going to peek through those.

 

[Kawaharu]

5 hours ago, Babypants said:

Well said.  As an incontinent, both bladder and bowel, diapers for me are akin to an asthmatic carrying an inhaler, or an insulin dependent diabetic carrying a pouch for her/his supplies.  I have a great deal of fun teasing my elderly neighbors who aren't incontinent but instead find themselves trapped in the "getting up to pee three times a night" ritual that diapers spare me those trips to the toilet, and pretty much guarantee me a more restful night's sleep.  Perhaps because I treat incontinence as a relatively minor health issue. and diapers as just one of those things, no one ever gets offended, never mind abusive.  Shame is simply not a dynamic in play for long-term incontinents.

That's why I have gotten to the point where I don't care anymore and I don't even care if people know or notice me being diapered. It's why I learn to deal, adapt and overcome my Incontinence and being kept diapered.

[~Brian~]

17 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

For me being Incontinent and AB, I don't even care if people notice or see me in diapers. I don't even hide them as well because I am not ashamed of being in diapers. Since I am an adult baby and Incontinent, I know I am never ashamed or afraid of people knowing I am diapered. I have been wearing long enough that I know I am never going to panic if someone sees me diapered. It's why I don't bother trying to hide them because I know I need them and they help me get through the day. 

 

@Kawaharu

I also agree with you, and the reason I agree with you is because there are many people who have issues that they must deal with on a daily basis. Some of these issues are issues that are easy to deal with, and that they are the ones that everybody can probably say no big deal, and then move on, or laugh at as they deal with it, and it's no big deal and there's no problem. Then there are other issues that cause issues for individuals who have disabilities or issues that are harder to deal with. Many people think that diapers are bad or that they have some taboo attached to them. This is because of people's beliefs and their Upbringing or other factors that change the way people think about certain issues.

As kids we are always taught that we should be kids and we should not worry about things and that everything will be taken care of for us. This is true in most cases, as we are kids we are taught that there are certain things that we can do, and there are certain things that we cannot do, certain things that we should tell our parents and certain things that we don't have to, and we should always tell the truth and we should always be able to be transparent and open about almost anything with our parents because that is the only way that we deal with things, because that way there are no secrets. I'm also in agreement that there should be no secrets, but then of course sometimes you have to keep something secret because of people's reaction once it is being disclosed. Diapers are unnecessary evil, and diapers aren't necessarily evil. Assistance device made so that you can deal with an annoyance that everyone probably deals with at least once in their life, and if they're lucky, once you are potty trained you never have to use diapers again. Unfortunately, the old adage that once you're threw potty training you don't ever have to use them again it's false. Many people me included who are disabled who have been working through their lives, don't have to worry about that until such time as they start having issues.

So eventually I decided that the proper way to end of this is to ask my doctor for help, and he said that it takes a lot of guts for a guy like me to come in there and ask for help like this. Then came here and ever since then my life has changed for the better, everything has done 110% turn around, I don't have as much stress I don't have to worry about anything, and it just seems like all of the stress and all the worries and all the stupidity and everything that we all worry about and lose sleep over is gone. Sure that's gonna be something that we constantly worry about and there's gonna be things that we worry about every day, but everything is not as bad as it seems in some cases if you just let things happen and take the course. Part of the problem however is that there are others that believe that diapers are bad diapers are terrible, and that they mean that someone is a baby or mean that someone doesn't have control and they should be, and they should be ashamed in all of this: wrong answer!

There's no reason why anyone should be ashamed or feel guilty or embarrassed or otherwise!  this is the main thing, people get involved in things that they worry about 'cause they don't want to embarrass someone or make them look bad or make them feel bad, and there's no reason for this! I understand that there's people that feel bad and they feel like they're less of a person or they might feel that they can't help it and it's like a major problem for them, and I get that! incontinence is one of those things that people don't really want to have to deal with, and it kind of hits on the moral fiber to show that once you don't have control of your bladder or bowels then that is a primary concern because that is one thing that we work our lives to be able to control is our bowels and our bladder, before that we wear diapers and we have people helping us to learn how to deal with this, but once we lose that ability after potty training, then it brings back negative memories or situations, and it reminds you of what it was like to be a baby when you didn't have any say in the matter or the fact that it just happens.

All through my life I have been trying to fight the good fight. Once I have cerebral palsy I have a particular neurological disability that deals with skeletal and muscular issues as well. Regardless of how hard I fight, my body is going to tell me when it hurts, it's gonna tell me when it needs attention, it's gonna tell me when I don't feel good, and sometimes when I pay attention, then I get help and everything is fine, or it takes longer to take care of the problem, while other times it will take longer because I'm stubborn and I won't give in and I won't allow my body to win the fight. My main concern through my entire journey has been the fact that I have been trying to fight a battle that while it is a good fight, there's no reason to fight it anymore! why fight something that is obvious! why try to hide something that you are when you know you are what you are! when you finally realize what the situation is and you realize you have the need for diapers or you have the feelings that you have that you like diapers or whatever, it makes it a lot easier to allow yourself to just say hey, I have diapers I need diapers, diapers help me, they help my psyche they help my sanity sanity and my safety, and they help me to be a better person. Stress is something that can kill you, in more ways than one! I can't tell you how many nights that I have sat here in my chair wondering at one point should I have done what I did, does it make sense? Every time I think about this I always come back to the same situation yes it does make sense, and yes it does help me in many ways.

So people need to realize, when you're incontinent and you make the choice that you make, or you like diapers and you want to wear diapers and you make the choice you make, nothing nothing nothing anyone else is going to tell you say or do is going to change that philosophy. It's a lot easier to just accept what is obvious except what is in front of you, and then try to deal with what you're dealing with, rather than to try to deny it left right upside down and backwards, that you absolutely positively don't need something that you absolutely need! I understand that there are people that think that diapers are some sort of negative influence or something and they don't like the idea of having to wear diaper because of its connotation that it makes you feel like a little baby or something like this, but diapers are not for babies only, they are for people that need him such as myself, a disabled individual or a person who does not have the ability to control their bladder or bowels! simple as that.

I must say that I admire you! the reason why I admire you is because you understand exactly what the deal is! you know that you are disabled, you know why you're disabled, and you have accepted your disability as far as you wish to go, and you have taken the appropriate steps to make sure that you are able to deal with such a disability. You are incontinent as well, and you have taken the appropriate steps to make sure that you are taken care of, and that you're taking care of the incontinence as well. 3rd, you have also taken the Liberty of deciding which lifestyle you wish to follow, so that you don't have to worry about the world around you, because as long as you are living your life to the level you wish to as an adult baby, and you are living the life that you want to live, you are living that life and able to function at high level. Most people that have a negative like being " Thrown back into diapers" Would probably fight and scream and claw and everything else, because it just is something that is embarrassing and goes right to the core of a person's Functional control. What you have done is taken a negative, and turned it into a positive which you can manage on a daily basis, the way you think it's appropriate to manage it. The thing is your mom is one of your support systems and others that support you understand exactly why you have made that decision and they support/enforce The lifestyle on you, but this is something that you have made a choice to do, and it makes it so that you can always return to a state of mind where you were an adult to be able to take care of adult responsibilities, and once you are done with those responsibilities you are able to switch gears and be able to live as an adult baby as well, acting and feeling and all of that the way you want to feel. 

The main point here is that everyone has their reasons for doing what they want to do and why they want to do it the way they want to do it. I've always stated that choosing a lifestyle such as AB or DL or adult kid or whatever it is, Or being incontinent, has its good points and its bad points, and whatever particular lifestyle you choose the important thing is that you have chosen that lifestyle and that you are making the unnecessary adjustments to your life so that you can make that happen. Far too many times there are people who worry so much about the world around them, worry about the smile stuff to the extreme, which causes them to lose reality sometimes and worry that everybody's gonna find out all this really bad stuff, or stuff that you make into something that's big and it's not. For example, when I asked my friends what they would think of me when I told them that I was going 24/7 and wearing diapers because of my disability and incontinence, and I asked them if it would make a difference in our friendship or the way I was looked at, they said absolutely not, we still love you, and it doesn't matter, it's part of life! with those type of responses I don't have to worry either way, but there's still others who still worry that people's morals and moral codes are hard set to say that diapers are not to be used and diapers are to be hated. I would rather have a wet diaper on than have wet pants and wet everything else, and that's the way that is. People just have to realize that there are reasons why we make the decisions we make.

I feel that I should not have to hide nor will I hide the fact that I am incontinent. Does not mean however that I am going to go out there and I'm going to make it obvious that I am incontinent by showing off what I'm wearing, but if somebody sees my diapers what the hell? It's not gonna make a difference because it's gonna help me, I'm the one that has to wear the diapers, I'm the one that has to use the diapers, I'm the one that has to deal with the smile or the leak or whatever the inconveniences, but in order for me to be able to enjoy my life to the fullest extent possible, diapers have been added. How many times can you say in your life that you can get a full night sleep? Very many people have told me that sometimes it's hard to sleep at night. Know exactly what that's like because if I have to go to the bathroom I'm constantly getting up in the middle of the night, I'm constantly running to the toilet and I'm constantly running back and forth. Do you have a diaper on, the diaper helps you, you don't have to run you don't have to worry and everything is a lot easier if you just do it once and change. This does not necessarily mean that it's always easy, because people tell me they want to be incontinent, and I always tell them that incontinence is not as easy to deal with or The easy way out this means that you would have to make drastic changes to your lifestyle to be able to make the change, and this means that you may not be able to swim like you used to, you may not be able to wear the same clothing you used to, and you may not be able to just bring only one set of clothes, there are many things that people have to understand the positives and the negatives of being incontinent, but as far as me caring whether someone sees my diaper, of course if someone doesn't know, that's one thing, 'cause I don't tell everyone that I'm incontinent  because there's certain people and certain situations where that information should remain Undisclosed, otherwise certain people can turn everything upside down and out you and make a big mess out of something that isn't. All I say is that if somebody makes a big deal out of my diapers, let them! I've spent almost 50 years in my life worrying about what will happen when I turn 60 or 70 or even 80 years old, and what will happen to me and will I be able to do this or will I be able to do that, or will I be able to think? My main concern about this is not to worry about it, if it happens it happens, all I wanna do is be able to live my life to the fullest extent possible and enjoy whatever I have for time left, because if you worry about every possible connotation every single thing that can possibly go wrong in your stress level goes through the roof!

 

 

 

13 hours ago, Babypants said:

Well said.  As an incontinent, both bladder and bowel, diapers for me are akin to an asthmatic carrying an inhaler, or an insulin dependent diabetic carrying a pouch for her/his supplies.  I have a great deal of fun teasing my elderly neighbors who aren't incontinent but instead find themselves trapped in the "getting up to pee three times a night" ritual that diapers spare me those trips to the toilet, and pretty much guarantee me a more restful night's sleep.  Perhaps because I treat incontinence as a relatively minor health issue. and diapers as just one of those things, no one ever gets offended, never mind abusive.  Shame is simply not a dynamic in play for long-term incontinents.

@Babypants

I also agree well said! the point here is is that regardless of what happens, The deal is is that you don't have a choice sometimes what happens and when it happens and where it happens. You should always be discreet, but the thing is if someone sees your diaper big deal! if somebody has a reason to wear diapers or they want to wear diapers, that reason is a valid reason, even if a person is not incontinent, even if a person is not someone who needs diapers for medical reasons, because sometimes people wear diapers for reasons that may not be considered medical, but there might be psychological or comfort reasons or whatever that people wear diapers, and it helps them deal with urges and feelings, which is why I consider myself IC&DL. Can't fight what is already there, and I'm not gonna try to undo 50 years of my internal strife with my brain trying to fight what is obvious, what is always been there, and what will always be there. I will always be a diaper lover, I will always be disabled, so therefore I might as well accept incontinence because as you get older that's exactly what happens.

People also shoulder understand that while there are negatives involved in each change, there are also positives. If you wearing diapers, you don't have to jump up in the middle of the night to run to the bathroom. Wearing diapers you don't have to worry about making a mess, you don't have to worry about trying to hold, which is really bad for your body, and you don't have to worry that someone is going to laugh at you for using your diaper or whatever you need to do.  Because of my diapers I can sleep better, because of my diapers I don't have to worry about the feelings that I have or the troubles that I worry about, and I don't have to worry about falling on my face trying to get up at 3 o'clock in the morning because I didn't see my chair correctly or I fall on the floor cause I missed the toilet, or I pee all over the floor, there's a myriad of things that people don't quite understand as you being disabled would understand if you're disabled, and there's many people who Dealing with disabilities or the inability to control their bladder or bowels, and it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter where you are, there are many people that have that same problem, and everyone that I have met seems to be able to handle this with dignity skill prowess and pride! sure someone's gonna make a mess, they're gonna mess their pants, sure they're gonna wet themselves and they're gonna have wet pants, but at least they don't have to worry about somebody picking on them and running them down because they have no control. To me that's a type of person that needs to be educated that people wear diapers for good reason, and they shouldn't be put down or made fun of because they do!

I have cerebral palsy and I've had it all my life, and why do I have people that might pick on me or have picked on me because I lose my temper and I cry like a baby sometimes when I don't understand something when I was a little kid, i'll tell you that unless people understand exactly what I was going through in my head, they wouldn't understand why I would finally break to that point There's a lot of things that go on in your head and there's a lot of stress that you deal with everyday, some of it people understand some of it people don't understand unless they actually live the life and understand what's going on. Same thing with diapers or incontinence or being an adult baby. People make the decision they make because it makes sense to them, we are all adults here and we understand the reason why we wear diapers, and if there wasn't a reason to have diapers, they wouldn't exist. There's nothing wrong with wearing diapers and there's nothing wrong with understanding the reasoning. All of these reasons are valid, it's just that people around us make decisions that say morally that we can't do this or ethically we shouldn't do that, but there's nothing wrong with wearing diapers!

@Diaper Duck Remember my friend, you do have the reason and you do have the ability to make the decision that you make, and nothing should stop you from doing what you think is appropriate. Although, you should always remember that you should be discreet, nothing should stop you from your goal, but just remember that making a decision to go 24/7 fully incontinent has its positive and its negatives, and you need to be fully aware of that. Don't let anyone stop you from your appointed rounds, just remember the consequences of such decisions, and you should be OK. Don't let anyone try to dissuade you if that is what you want!

Brian

 

[tommyneedsdiapers90]

i dont super super care, i kinda hope its visible sometimes just so i feel cute and embarrassed. but lately i lost some weight so a lot of shorts and pants kinda hang off me so if im not wearing a belt im constatly adjusting and making sure my full padded ass isnt hanging out! thats just too far 

[anned]

I have gone to nude beaches and hot springs and openly taken off my diaper and since i am incontinent will spend the day openly leaking.

Sometimes it just dripping other times it will fill  and just let go.

no one has ever said anything. and by watching there eyes they watched me pee.

[dmavn]

Umm.. I work in a factory.. My daily wear is megamax, tights, onesie, polo and shorts. no possibility of peakage that way

[stevewet]

I couldn't care less if people notice I wear nappies 

[amandas_diapered_boy]

I don't care if my diaper is noticeable under my clothes or if people see it.