Wanting to be Incontinent but Feeling Guilty

[kittengirl173]

I want to be incontinent because I want to be. I love diapers so much and I want to have no excuses not to wear them. I hate feeling like I'm not supposed to wear them because I don't physically need them. I hate feeling like I'm wasting money when I buy them because I don't physically need them.

All of these thoughts could be solved by reframing the situation. I don't physically need diapers, but I emotionally need them, so it's okay for me to wear them and I'm not wasting money to buy them. But regardless of that reframing, I still feel this urge to wear them all the time, to truly be the cute girl I am who loves her diapers. It feels like a part of my identity.

But I worry that if I did try to train myself to need diapers, I'm making a huge mistake for my career. I want to be either a math professor or a math high school teacher. I'm about to enter my senior year of college and I'm getting ready to apply to PhD programs in math. My primary goal is to be a professor, but my backup plan is teaching high school as becoming a professor is competitive. I'd be totally happy to become a high school math teacher as I've loved every job I've had.

My career goals are perhaps the most incompatible with wearing diapers for fun discreetly, especially if I taught at the high school level. If any student somehow found out, it could potentially ruin my career. Wearing diapers is a comfort thing, likely related to my trauma and abusive houshold growing up. To me, wearing diapers is a really wholesome thing. But in the unlikely scenario that a parent found out that their child's teacher wears diapers without a medical need for them...that would be bad.

At the college level, it might be more okay for me to wear diapers discretely under my clothes. But it still is a job where if anyone found out, which is possible given that I'd be interacting with students, it would be pretty embarrassing.

So in my head, incontinence solves my issues. I can wear diapers and no one is going to say "No, you can't" because I will need them my medical necessessity. So becoming incontinent is so tempting to me. At the same time, it also sound like a bad idea, because it could still influence the ability of students to take me seriously. And if I was ever #2 incontinent, that would be a huge problem to people around me.

But the factor that's complicating all of this is my body seems to be having incontinence issues on its own. I've struggled for years with having to go the bathroom extremely frequently, and it's been especially bad the past couple months. I kid you not that at least once per day, have to pee around every 15 minutes, sometimes even less than that. I think the term for this is OAB (overactive bladder). Having to constantly pee has been interrupting my sleep (making me groggy the next day) and distracts me from my work as I keep having to get up, go to the bathroom, pee, return. This factor makes diapers even more tempting... but I feel like I'm using minor incontinence issues as an excuse to let me wear the diapers I love rather than me actually needing them.

So you can see the mix of factors in my head. In a world that was completely socially accepting, I would wear diapers 24/7. And I would probably train myself to need my diapers at least for #1 as I love diapers and it also would help with my OAB issues. But I get scared that if I do start wearing diapers all the time, it could affect my career down the road once I start teaching (either at the secondary or college level). If I am incontinent, it would okay for me to wear diapers at my work, and people likely wouldn't know anyways because I'd be discrete about it. Still, if people did find out, they might question if I'm really incontinent or not. And am I really incontinent if I made myself that way? ?? I'm curious if any of yall have any thoughts. I know wanting to be incontinent is so bizarre, but my brain is a weird place that wants weird things ?

[~Brian~]

@kittengirl173

I just wanted to respond to your posting regarding wanting to be incontinent but feeling guilty. There are many people out there that think that for some reason they have to conform to something in the world around them. while it is very important that we try to keep things on the up and up, which means everybody is doing what they can on a daily basis, there are times in our lives when whatever somebody says really doesn't matter, because you are going to make the decision that you think is the best for you, and I can tell you from experience being incontinent most of my life on and off that me wearing diapers 24/7 was the best decision for me.

A bit about me: I have had cerebral palsy all my life and I'm 50 years old. i'll throw out my life I've had on and off battles with incontinence, and I've had my share of what and messy experiences myself. For years and years I kept trying to put off the inevitable saying that it isn't true or trying to deny that I am not what I am, when I am actually what I am. by that I mean that I am incontinent and a diaper lover, and I've been on and off all of my life, and I've been a diaper lover since I was eight. in 2018 and 2019, I started having problems with incontinence accidents IBS and diverticulitis. I started wetting myself and then I'd start having messes in my bed. It got to the point where it was so bad that I would be sitting in a chair and I would be thinking about getting up to go #2, and I wouldn't even be able to get to the point where my body says I have to do this.. and then all the sudden I don't know where I'd have a mess to clean up. It took me a long time in my mind to realize that there's nothing wrong with me wearing diapers and there's nothing wrong with me using them to help myself make myself better. my decision to go 24/7 in 2020 was spearheaded because I got sick of having to get up in the middle of the night wasting four to five trips to the bathroom of over 2 hours apiece, and then having to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning so I don't get any sleep. I got sick of having a mess to clean up, and it just gets worse and worse because I just felt bad about it. Then I remembered that I needed Some help comments so I went to the doctor in 2019 asked him for diapers, and told him that I'd been having trouble and I'd already talked to him in 2018 about the possibility, to find out how easy it is for me to be able to get them. with my doctor's help I went through all of the testing fees going all of these tabbed underwear choices that don't even have enough absorbency To make it worth my while. I ended up going through every single cloth backs product they made, or so I thought, and I basically threw them all out telling them that they didn't work, or they ripped too easily or they're not built for someone to be able to use at their intended purpose. when you have a diaper on you want that order control and you want that ability to flood the thing and be able to use it and not have to worry about having a Problem.

It sounds like to me that you are trying to say to yourself that you want to be incontinent so bad, and the only way that you think you can wear diapers is if you are incontinent. this is Not always true. there are people on daily diapers who wear because of emotional needs or because of psychological needs or for comfort, so there are people that wear diapers for that particular reason, and they need them because it helps them in their own ways. Just because you don't identify as an incontinent individual, that does not mean that you cannot wear diapers. just because you don't need the diapers does not mean that you are wasting them or wasting money. The simple fact that somebody wears a diaper can actually make them a lot better off 'cause they feel like it gives them more security. Many people wear diapers on a daily basis, and there are a lot of professional individuals that wear diapers, it's just that you have to be able to deal with cleaning yourself up and changing yourself whenever the necessary time arises.

I hear you that you want to be a professor, or a high school math teacher. You want to be able to get your PHD in math. I applaud you for your economic and career choices.  What I've always said to people is that they should make the decision that makes sense to them. regardless of what is happening, you should not worry about what other people think what other people believe or what other people say, because in the end, you are the one that is making the decision. So many people are so worried about the fact that they're wearing a diaper, and they're worried about the bad stigmas that can be associated with that decision. I wear a diaper every day 24 hours a day seven days a week, and depending on how I feel I can change once Toward maximum of six times if I need to. we're talking about using North Shore Mega Max diapers, and they are 8 hour diapers. I used to be afraid of that fact that I'd have to wear a diaper, or that somebody would figure out that I was wearing. I wasn't really afraid of the fact that I was wearing a diaper, but I was afraid that someone was going to go and squeal on me, and this would cause me trouble. after talking to several people here on daily diapers, I finally came to the acceptance that I need diapers in more ways than one period not only because they help me with my incontinence, but they help me deal with the feelings i've had since I was eight and they helped me feel like I'm dealing with my emotional status State as well. diapers help in many ways and not simply because you are peeing yourself or messing yourself. ask anyone here on daily diapers, and you can find people that either are dealing with incontinence issues or they are dealing with medical issues that may not be Because of incontinence. wearing a diaper does not have to be just because you are wanting to be incontinent, you could decide right now that you want to wear a diaper, and all you're doing literally is changing your underwear choice from maybe panties to a diaper. A female usually do deals with a form of incontinence when we're dealing with Their time of the month period we all know that a woman goes through that time of the month and unless they obviate they end up having their periods. women usually have to deal with this part of their lifestyle and, and this is something they deal with from the approximately age 11 tell they end up going through menopause. Women are normally aware of this and they are prepared to deal with it at any point. If you have dealt with menopause are you have dealt with Having a period, you know exactly what I'm talking about. do you have to change your pads every so often because of it, so you have to be prepared for that particular eventuality, and it's no more strange to do that then it would be for me to end up grabbing my razor and shaving. It's part of life.

It also sounds like you are experiencing problems with Incontinence anyway. If you are going to the bathroom five or six times a day, and sometimes not making it, that sounds to me like you are dealing with what is referred to as functional incontinence. anytime you are unable to get to the toilet simply because of mobility issues or something like that, or you decide to wear diapers, you are technically functionally incontinent because you are having trouble getting there on time without making a mess. I can tell you from experience that wearing diapers is the best thing that ever happened to me, because I kept on having accidents in bed, having to run to the bathroom at an opportune times such as 3 o'clock in the morning like last night. I ended up going back and forth five to six times change my diaper at least four times. it can be a pain in the butt, and not only that but if you have an accident in your pants, that can be more of A embarrassing situation than if you had a diaper on and you used And messed it.

You do realize however don't you, that the ADA does cover People that use diapers because of incontinence don't you? incontinence is a disability or one disabling condition out of a whole host of others. I deal With cerebral palsy myself come And everyone knows that that is a neurological disability, and everything that has to do with CP is neurological. some individuals that have CP have trouble with incontinence. I have been diagnosed with fecal incontinence with fecal urgency and continuous leakage of urine. those two particular Diagnosis are written on my medical records, so that no one can say that I'm not incontinent, and no one can say that I don't need diapers. you may not need diapers in the classical sense like you said, but it sounds to me like you are having accidents and that wearing them would be an advantageous thing for you to do.

Other people around you also have to realize that there are people that wear diapers everyday. I have friends that are in wheelchairs that have trouble with mobility, and they may wear diapers because it's easier for them To not have to run to the bathroom or worry about having an accident, they just tell someone that they need help and they get changed. the ADA should be able to protect anyone who is incontinent, so no one should be able to give you the third degree or give you any Gonna feed back because they find out that you're wearing diapers. Just because someone wears diapers and has A situation where they have to use it call'cause they can't get to the bathroom on time, well that's Par for the course, and you should not have to worry about it too much. if people do not understand that you need diapers because of bouts of incontinence, or they don't understand that you want to wear diapers and that you are trying to deal with it, then there's something wrong. my is don't tell people that you want to wear diapers because you want to be incontinent: tell them that you are, have no problem with this because I don't I don't think any particular employer would terminate you simply because you're wearing diapers.

I'll give you an example of what I mean: every single lawyer that I hear of has to go through law school. These classes are long they're arduous they're difficult and they take a lot of time and a lot of energy.  They go through their exams and everything that they do, when they have to do that, some of these law students wear diapers to class because they They don't have the time to get up and use the bathroom in the middle of a class. This is a perfect opportunity to point out that people do use diapers in college, and there's no shame in doing it. even if for some reason you had a problem with incontinence, or you were having trouble because you couldn't get to the bathroom on time every once in awhile, it's OK:  technically if you have a reason to wear diapers, they shouldn't be able to touch you with a 10 foot post because you could use the ADA as a reason for doing it. If you wear diapers in college that's also fine, because you're dealing with all of your classes and I'm sure that there are long arduous difficult classes and ones where you feel like you're listening to an Abraham Lincoln ask type professor that just wants to keep on talk talking and talking and you don't have the time to actually go actually go to the bathroom And do it right. I've had professors that just feel like they wanna talk forever, and a 2 hour class can be can be like sitting in a large lecture hall for six hours: you get tired you get cold you end up feeling like you wanna crash because you're tired, or you just don't feel like yourself, or you miss your family or whatever to deal is. your ability to pay attention in class Because of things that are on your mind can also be a distraction. diapers can help you take care of things like that because you don't have to worry about the distraction. the only thing that you may have to do is change yourself from time to time.

As far as you wanting to become incontinent: being incontinent means that you are going to be making major changes to your life. This means that instead of wearing your underwear, and washing them every week or whenever you do your laundry, and changing them everyday if you're lucky, you are gonna end up making a change making a change that will be life altering. You must be prepared for the eventuality that you will be wearing diapers 24/7. this means every day Monday through Friday, Saturday and Sunday holiday and weekend 365 days a year with no exceptions. You must be prepared to change yourself and have all the necessary topicals and gloves and disposal bags and disposal systems and everything else so you can deal with it appropriately. you don't wanna leave any evidence around if somebody is going to visit you that you have diapers laying around, otherwise you end up with people that are going to be asking you a whole bunch of questions. you also don't wanna tell anyone that you can't trust because you don't want somebody outing something that you don't want disclosed. Remember, that it is you who makes the decision of what makes you feel the better: this means that if you decide that you think wearing diapers is an appropriate way to deal with your Incontinence issues, then you've just made the decision that probably makes sense to you. remember that no one else has to deal with the problem where you have to go real bad, you have to hold, you have to pee so bad that you feel like you're going to crash, or you would have to run like crazy when you really have to go #2. when you have a diaper on, you don't have to do that. if you have the right diaper on, you can handle almost anything, you just have to be able to deal with being brett, leaking through what you're wearing, or if you end up having a messy accident you don't want Have something smelling so bad that it is a turn off to somebody else. but remember, wearing diapers is Acceptable way to deal with the situation, and it is covered by the ADA so no one can actually use that against you, and I doubt very highly that anyone can terminate you for that decision.

I made the decision to go 24/7 because of my constant battle with my body. I got sick of my body always wanting to win all of the wars. constantly I was in the bathroom constantly I was not being able to get full amount of sleep, then I was ending up having accidents and I was sick and I'd end up in the bathroom all the time. My decision also helps with my sanity my confidence my ability to function as a human being, the ability to be the best person that I can be, it helps me with my emotions it helps me with my stability and sanity, my safety as well, because being that I have mobility issues, there has been times when I've been running to the bathroom like a bad out of hell because I have to get in that In that bathroom, and if I make a mistake I can easily fall and hurt myself.

People will ask me what it's like to be incontinent: the easiest way I can tell you Inches to experience a 2 year old child either a boy or a girl. you feed that child a bunch of food and you Feed them bottle after bottle. eventually, they will need to go to the bathroom and they will not be able to hold it back. A 2 year old does not have the strength of mind and body to be able to stop the inevitable, so they will use their diaper. The same thing can be said if you're taking blood pressure control meds or dyazide.  Basically if you wanna know what incontinence is like, taking one of those and drinking the normal amount of liquid that you are normally drink in a day Will eventually catch up with you and you will have to go to the bathroom. and I'm not just talking about feeling like you have to go, you have to go yesterday! this means if you don't want went pants and you're not wearing a diaper, you get your butt In the bathroom and quickly get set up on the toilet. i've had the situation where I can't control it, and even when I have the best possible circumstances sometimes I miss the target or I end up messing myself before I get there. sometimes even the slightest change in the way I sit will tell my body that it is time to release, and it comes on to me like 100 pounds of shoe leather wet shoe leather that is. Basically if your body wants it to come out, it's coming out. when you're a baby, you don't have that luxury and you will release whatever you're holding, because you don't have the ability to hold, because you don't have the training yet.

When you're talking about The Mess factor Colin you're wearing a diaper and you end up messing it. you have to clean yourself up carefully and you have to make sure that you're not going to have an issue where you have.  You don't want fecal material to be on your skin for too long of a period, and your What diapers can also interact with your skin if you are using them and you don't change them often enough, and that can cause redness and burning and itching and skin breakdown as well. People think that being incontinent is easy, but it is not, and it is life changing: too many people think that they want incontinence so bad that they are willing to do superhuman or ridiculous things to get there, then what can happen is they get started in the untraining arena, which is basically doing the reverse of what your parents did to train you, But you're undoing it. you spend two years to 2 1/2 years undoing your potty training, so that you can release in a diaper, and then you lose the ability to hold and you end up having to re potty train yourself, which can take a long time as well. if someone wants to be incontinent, I warned them that this is something that they want, and they have to deal with the consequence. if you're not going to be potty trained anymore, you will need diapers, blast you end up peeing and messing yourself at all times period when you decide to untrain and you're going 24/7, that means diapers diapers diapers diapers at all times there is no on day there is no on day, there is no break: diapers all the way!

If you make the decision that you want to be incontinent you have to be aware of the positives and the negatives of each decision. in my case having a disability, and dealing with incontinence over the years, I finally have gotten to the point where I have to accept that I wear diapers all the time and that I need them. I may not use them every single time, but I use them everyday and I need them. I can't just decide that I'm gonna take them off and get rid of them. my body is made changes so that if I feel the need to release it's coming out one way or the other period when you decide to go fully incontinent you, and you go 24/7, you have to decide whether you're going to go With bowel incontinence, bladder incontinence, or both. When you make that decision you have to also decide the diaper that's going to work the best for you, that can be something that you have to work on before you find the right one period once you find the right garment, stick with it because it'll work for you

finally, don't worry about what everybody around you thinks and says. You have to make the decision that makes the sense for yourself. if you feel comfortable wearing diapers, or using them, the only thing that you have to be careful of is how you go about doing it. you wouldn't wanna drop a huge load in your pants while you're in the middle of a class, but you may have to do that from time to time, and you may have to talk to your superiors about incontinence issues should there be something that needs to be discussed. that way, if you need accommodations to be made under the ADA,, they can be done. I would only disclose this to people that you trust, because then if you tell the wrong person that you are incontinent they would end up probably wondering about you, worrying about you, sending you to a medical professional, or anything else. you don't wanna do something that scares somebody, but your choice of underwear whether it be underwear, panties, thong, diapers: those are those are your choices: there's nothing against the law that says you can't wear diapers, it doesn't make it make it bad if you weren't aware diapers all the time, and if it makes you feel good and helps you to concentrate, that's also good. you will have to make the decision that makes the most sense to you. whatever happens, don't let everybody around you dictate what you do, because it is your decision and your body that you are dealing with. when I finally decided to go 24/7 in 2020, I had exhausted all of my Other avenues, and I wanted to go with diapers: when I started wearing them in 2020, the feelings I was having and the anxiety that I was having and everything else was gone or pretty darn close to it. the reason is because when you put a diaper on, a diaper is expected to be used. When you put a diaper on a baby, you don't expect a baby to not use it. think of it this way: when you have stress on your mind, and you finally are able to get off work for example and you go to a bar and you have a  drink or maybe a soda with: you take a sip of that and you let the bubbles and let the soda slide down in your throat. it makes your body feel good it makes your mind feel good it makes everything work better.  when you finally have to release every, think of it this way: when you have a full bladder or full bowel and you have to go number one or #2: think of it as you dealing with all of your stress in your mind. there's some things in your mind that you have to release by letting out your strations and breathing: other things that you release you Release in other ways. if you really have to go to the bathroom, the idea is that you want to release it so you feel better. Your diaper is there to release whatever you're holding, and think of whatever you are holding whether it be urine or feces, that you are releasing stress all the things that you don't need in your body, and that is the best way to explain what I mean. don't let anyone else try to reign on your parade, telling you that diapers are not for you, or that they're disgusting, or they stink, or whatever it is that they tell you. you are the one who asked to make the decision, and the best thing I can say is there are many people on daily diapers who can give you their perspective as to incontinence and how to deal with it, and why you might want to wear diapers and really And really want to push for incontinence. I warn you that you don't and you should not try to make changes to your body that would hurt you in any way to achieve incontinence.

Easiest way to become incontinent is to start getting the stuff that you need together karma such as diapers and Topicals, as well as diaper Covers gloves and all that. pick one day and decide on that day that you are going to diapers. if you're going 24/7 and you're not planning on looking back, this would be the day that you decide to throw all your underwear away, diapers all the way. You use them every day: no exceptions. If you're wearing them everyday, let your body release in your diaper. this is that you have to learn because you're going to have to reteach your body and your mind to allow yourself To wet and mesh yourself. as a baby, you didn't have those particular safety locks in your head, you just released when you felt the need or you felt the pressure. you have to actually unlearn your potty training and learn skills that will allow your body to let it happen. Don't worry about other people, but you also have to be respectful and consider of those around you. if you have a medical necessity For wearing, like you stated that you are having problems with incontinence, you shouldn't have a problem period once you learn the ways to become incontinent, you can turn around once you accept your diapers, and then you may be decide to add other parts of the lifestyle and have the fun pieces. this will come in time as you learn, but don't let your want of diapers Consume you, but be proactive and think of ways that you will be able to use them appropriately. sounds to me like you already have Incontinence in some ways, so you shouldn't have too much difficulty.

Feel free to come to me, feel free to follow me, private message me, or respond to any postings that May be helpful to you. If I or another one of my colleagues can assist you further, that will be a pleasure. as I say too many people embrace this and don't be afraid of it: it's not like you're going to have people turned off because of your choice: there are many people in the world that wear diapers every day, and they are very successful individuals, and there's no reason that you cannot be that successful person either good luck and I wish you the best in your academic career!

Brian

[Kif]

So I have gone through these feelings twice myself:

1. When I first started untraining, and was super self-conscious about whether people noticed or not
2. After I lost enough control that I started to physically consider myself incontinent

and I feel I can relate loads to your reasons for wanting to do it. 

Life details will sort themselves out...What I think is more important is your reasons for doing this. What you're getting out of all of it.

So I'll just ask this: Does at least part of you want incontinence for the sake of that feeling of not being in control of your bladder, because it simply just feels right and natural for you/your body? Or is it entirely out of fear that you won't be able to wear diapers if you aren't incontinent?

In my personal experience, I had both reasons when I started. 

But once the real thing hit me, only the first one mattered...It made me feel warm, euphoric, and happy for my body to finally be like this. Medically needing them came second, so much so that I honestly regretted having that reason in the first place.

Once you need diapers, it hits differently. My mood definitely took a dip for a few weeks while I sorted out those feelings...and I recovered. But had I wanted to be incontinent only out of fear I wouldn't be justified wearing diapers, then I'd probably still be feeling quite miserable right now.

5 hours ago, kittengirl173 said:

But the factor that's complicating all of this is my body seems to be having incontinence issues on its own. I've struggled for years with having to go the bathroom extremely frequently, and it's been especially bad the past couple months. I kid you not that at least once per day, have to pee around every 15 minutes, sometimes even less than that. I think the term for this is OAB (overactive bladder). Having to constantly pee has been interrupting my sleep (making me groggy the next day) and distracts me from my work as I keep having to get up, go to the bathroom, pee, return. This factor makes diapers even more tempting... but I feel like I'm using minor incontinence issues as an excuse to let me wear the diapers I love rather than me actually needing them.

So to what I said above, again I'd consider your reasons for wanting this. 

You can absolutely wear diapers if it makes your life easier, and you could absolutely see diminished control if you keep doing this. 

BUT again, you need to be 100% honest with your reasons for it. You'll realize at some point you've irreversibly changed your body, and it'll be emotionally rough to process that if you've not been honest to yourself about it--even if those reasons were beyond your control! This is exactly what happened to me after my vaginoplasty altered my pelvic floor...I still blamed myself on an emotional level, even though part of it was not my fault.

So...do you do it as an excuse to wear diapers, or because you want to wear diapers? 

If you want to wear diapers, then you'll find a way to incorporate that into your lifestyle. And if you decide you don't want to lose control then you can absolutely approach a doctor for help with your urgency problems; just because you want wear diapers doesn't mean you need to be incontinent to wear them, vice versa. 

But...as has been pointed out, do be mindful given your existing conditions because it can become worse and when that happens you'll want to feel okay with that.

[CodHero24]

I think if you're a girl, you could easily get away with wearing diapers while teaching at a high school.

You could simply wear a skirt over your diapers and nobody would ever notice a thing.

The only way you would get caught is by sitting down and leaking onto the chair.

If you feel like you need diapers because your bladder is overactive, ask your doctor what your options are.

If you have a documented medical condition, maybe you will feel better about choosing the best lifestyle for you...

My main point here is, Bee yourself ?????????

 

[kittengirl173]

Thank you so much everyone for your responses. ? I have to go to class but I've read your posts and I want to write detailed responses soon because I have thoughts. ?

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, kittengirl173 said:

Thank you so much everyone for your responses. ? I have to go to class but I've read your posts and I want to write detailed responses soon because I have thoughts. ?

@kittengirl173

You are welcome my dear! you are very fortunate because there are a lot of people here that have a lot of experience with diapers and incontinence. each one is telling you the truth about what incontinence entails. being Incontinent is not the easiest thing in the world, but it is possible, and wearing diapers is not be all end all and the baddest thing in the world either. what people have to realize is that once they are incontinent, they have to understand, but they might not really understand or get that it is not the end of the world. that is why there are so many people who identify as more than one of the designations: incontinent, diaper lover and continent diaper lover ABDL, and other things. one thing one thing that I learned through my journey is that you do not you do not have to worry you do not have to be scared, no one will chastise you here, and everyone is welcome here! many people have a lot of questions throughout their journey, and some of us have even written what we call journey threads.

A journey thread is simply a thread that explains how you became became a diaper lover or an adult baby or a little girl whatever you identify as, and it kinda tells you your story of For example how you got into diapers or why you like them. it lets people know more about who you are and how you got here. people start on a journey karma and they walk down the road. The roads wind and they turn and they twist, and many roadblocks may appear, but eventually you start on your end of the road, you end up twisting and turning, and you end up at a place like this. regardless of what road you start on, you end up right here: then you end up telling us a story about how you got here and all about you.

For example take a look at my profile: it tells you several things about me because I posted things that are important for people to know about. one of is my journey thread that tells people how I got here, or how I got interested in diapers. It is very detailed and could be quite lengthy, but it kinda tells the story about me and how I feel and what went on in my life, and it is not a story that was easy: it was a very hard fought run, starting at approximately age 7 or 8. that is why I say I've been a diaper lover ever since I was eight, and I love diapers. because I'm incontinent and I'm a diaper lover, I don't have to hide it any more, and I don't have to feel guilty or shamed or ashamed: I am what I am and one of the things that is important is that you should not feel guilt or shame at all. If you wanna wear a diaper, put that thing on and enjoy it! 

I sincerely hope that you are able to accept and enjoy wearing diapers. @Kif Knows what she's talking about, and what she is saying is 100% true. You have to make the decision that makes sense to you, And you also have to realize that if you're dealing with medical reasoning, you may want to be checked to see if there's anything wrong other than what you're experiencing, so you're not dealing with something that is being hidden. once you know that you're healthy otherwise, wearing diapers should not be a problem period as a colleague above me has stated, since you are a girl, you should have no problem wearing diapers. with guys comment it might be a tad bit different because it is so obvious if we do not wear our pants in a configuration where we are belted, or that what we wear under them doesn't want to fall down.  i'll give you a little hint in my case what I do is I will choose my pants for example. then I have a nice leather belt that is really nice and is thick and is able to hold my pants up without them falling down. I put my diaper on and I put in Two or three boosters if I'm working more than a couple of hours because I want to make sure the diaper lasts all day. I put a pair of trifectas or Gary Ware over the top of my diaper, and then pull my pants up and belt up. Able to cover your diaper cover or your diaper then, then pull a shirt down you won't attract as much attention, unless of course you end up Wedding yourself, and whatever you are doing you are leaking through your pants.

Girls have an advantage because everybody knows that they go through menstrual cycle call: everybody knows that they need their pads or whatever they use, so wearing diapers for a girl is really easy. Also, if they have kids, they deal with the fact that their bladders might be weaker because of their pelvic floor. you have to press real hard or push as they say to actually bring your baby through the birth canal, which is part of the reason why some Times deal with a lot of issues with weakness after childbirth. I don't think you would have a problem at all wearing a diaper,, and it all depends on what type of dress you wear or what type of skirt. you could also hide it by putting on your diaper, with your boosters for convenience and safety, and then put your for cover over your diaper, and then put your tights over that or your nylons. I guarantee you if a girl were to walk through for example wearing a Mega Max, and they had the right skirt address on with the right protection over your diaper, plus Your tights or your nylons, no one would be any of the wiser if you had the right type of dress on. in my opinion, no one's gonna question you no one's going to worry about that, and half the people around you probably won't even know you're wearing a diaper, unless of course they see it, or they hear it. I wear Mega Max's every day, and those things are so thick and bulky that they sometimes will crinkle if you move, but in my estimation they do not crinkle so bad so bad that they automatically give you away.

So as I said: I would take every person's Post with their opinions and their analysis and then use that as a guide as you go through your training or your decision making. because you are because you are a lady, you are less likely to attract attention, because well, girls have a way of being able to dress in such a way so that no one would question them. The only thing that you may find is that if you are wearing or other pants call you may find that your type kind of thick, but the best way to stop cranking if you're trying to stop that is to cover your diaper with a trifecta cover or a Gary wear cover, and then make sure that when you're pulling your pants up you cover cover. So have to be increased to take care of the bulk, but if you belt up right, no one will question you.

Take care!

Brian

[kittengirl173]

12 hours ago, Kif said:

So I'll just ask this: Does at least part of you want incontinence for the sake of that feeling of not being in control of your bladder, because it simply just feels right and natural for you/your body? Or is it entirely out of fear that you won't be able to wear diapers if you aren't incontinent?

In my personal experience, I had both reasons when I started. 

But once the real thing hit me, only the first one mattered...It made me feel warm, euphoric, and happy for my body to finally be like this. Medically needing them came second, so much so that I honestly regretted having that reason in the first place.

Once you need diapers, it hits differently. My mood definitely took a dip for a few weeks while I sorted out those feelings...and I recovered. But had I wanted to be incontinent only out of fear I wouldn't be justified wearing diapers, then I'd probably still be feeling quite miserable right now.

So to what I said above, again I'd consider your reasons for wanting this. 

I don't think I talked about this enough in my post as I was focusing on my anxieties, but of course the main reason I want incontinence because feeling not in control of my bladder sounds so right to me! It gives me such euphoria to think of myself as a cute girl who needs and uses her diapers. I just feel all glowy inside and hug my stuffies thinking about it. I want to wake up with a full diaper of pee. I want to happily pee myself while studying math. And I want to feel even more attached to my diapers than I already am. I love using diapers, and I don't like not using them.

This is rather embarrassing, but I was reading both your journey post Kif as well as DFJeff52's. DFJeff had the idea of peeing ones pants in order to really feel you need diapers. Since I currently don't have any diapers (need to buy more), this sounded like something fun I could do right now. I went to the shower, and just peed, soaking my panties and skirt. And this is so bizarre, but...I loved it? I loved feeling so desperate, like this is what I would do without diapers. It made me feel so vulnerable, so cute, so...me. But I also felt so confused. Why do I like this? People aren't supposed to not want to be in control of when they pee. Why is my brain so weird?

Like, it's not even a sexual want. I genuinely felt euphoria (similar to gender euphoria---oh yeah, I'm trans too btw!) from wetting my skirt and needing diapers. It felt like how my body should operate and who I am, and I felt cute. I guess I'm weird but maybe it's okay to be weird. ?

Tonight, reading Kif's timeline, she talked about messing for the heck of it. She also talked about peeing lying down in the shower to get used to peeing lying down. With the training I've done, I can currently wet when standing anywhere, but I can't wet while lying down. Both of these ideas sounded appealed. So I just wet to the shower again, lied down, and pooped and peed. And I liked it again!?!? I liked sitting in my own mess. After taking off the underwear, I realized how disgusting it was. But it also felt so so nice. My brain is bizarre, and it just likes needing diapers.

So yes, I think my main reason I want to be incontinent is because I want to. The anxiety I have is that I'm afraid I only want to be incontinent to justify me wearing diapers. But you helped reassure me that I do just want to be incontinent. The latter is a nice perk, but first and foremost I just want to be a cute good diaper girl. ?

---*---

17 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

 

It sounds like to me that you are trying to say to yourself that you want to be incontinent so bad, and the only way that you think you can wear diapers is if you are incontinent. this is Not always true. there are people on daily diapers who wear because of emotional needs or because of psychological needs or for comfort, so there are people that wear diapers for that particular reason, and they need them because it helps them in their own ways. Just because you don't identify as an incontinent individual, that does not mean that you cannot wear diapers. just because you don't need the diapers does not mean that you are wasting them or wasting money. The simple fact that somebody wears a diaper can actually make them a lot better off 'cause they feel like it gives them more security. Many people wear diapers on a daily basis, and there are a lot of professional individuals that wear diapers, it's just that you have to be able to deal with cleaning yourself up and changing yourself whenever the necessary time arises.

I hear you that you want to be a professor, or a high school math teacher. You want to be able to get your PHD in math. I applaud you for your economic and career choices.  What I've always said to people is that they should make the decision that makes sense to them. regardless of what is happening, you should not worry about what other people think what other people believe or what other people say, because in the end, you are the one that is making the decision. So many people are so worried about the fact that they're wearing a diaper, and they're worried about the bad stigmas that can be associated with that decision

You're right: my emotional need for diapers is enough to justify me wearing them even to a teaching job. I'm just afraid of the consequences of being found out for wearing diapers in a teaching setting if I don't actually need them. But the risk of being found out is low, and if I did, it's okay. It's okay to wear diapers, and I do have incontinence issues to justify wearing them regardless if I really need to justify it to other people.

17 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

It also sounds like you are experiencing problems with Incontinence anyway. If you are going to the bathroom five or six times a day, and sometimes not making it, that sounds to me like you are dealing with what is referred to as functional incontinence. anytime you are unable to get to the toilet simply because of mobility issues or something like that, or you decide to wear diapers, you are technically functionally incontinent because you are having trouble getting there on time without making a mess. I can tell you from experience that wearing diapers is the best thing that ever happened to me, because I kept on having accidents in bed, having to run to the bathroom at an opportune times such as 3 o'clock in the morning like last night. I ended up going back and forth five to six times change my diaper at least four times. it can be a pain in the butt, and not only that but if you have an accident in your pants, that can be more of A embarrassing situation than if you had a diaper on and you used And messed it.

You do realize however don't you, that the ADA does cover People that use diapers because of incontinence don't you? incontinence is a disability or one disabling condition out of a whole host of others. I deal With cerebral palsy myself come And everyone knows that that is a neurological disability, and everything that has to do with CP is neurological. some individuals that have CP have trouble with incontinence. I have been diagnosed with fecal incontinence with fecal urgency and continuous leakage of urine. those two particular Diagnosis are written on my medical records, so that no one can say that I'm not incontinent, and no one can say that I don't need diapers. you may not need diapers in the classical sense like you said, but it sounds to me like you are having accidents and that wearing them would be an advantageous thing for you to do.

But see, most people who are having minor incontinence issues would want the issues to go away, and diapers would be their last result. Meanwhile I'm being weird and jumping to diapers because I love them. Then, if I used insurance for diapers, I'm wasting society's money just because I don't want to get the usual treatment for incontinence problems. If I went to a urologist, wouldn't they be very confused by me wanting to wear diapers? I feel guilty jumping to diapers because that's not what most people would ever want to do in my situation, yet I want to go to diapers because I love them so much.

---*---

11 hours ago, CodHero24 said:

I think if you're a girl, you could easily get away with wearing diapers while teaching at a high school.

You could simply wear a skirt over your diapers and nobody would ever notice a thing.

The only way you would get caught is by sitting down and leaking onto the chair.

If you feel like you need diapers because your bladder is overactive, ask your doctor what your options are.

If you have a documented medical condition, maybe you will feel better about choosing the best lifestyle for you...

My main point here is, Bee yourself ?????????

 

I actually basically only wear skirts already because I love wearing skirts. ? When I wear diapers under them, especially with a onesie they are super non-obvious, especially because I have hips and a big butt already. I still feel bad about potentially exposing students to me wearing diapers, but I'd want to be discrete anyways so they don't know. And I wear diapers because they make me feel happy, safe, and okay. ?

[kittengirl173]

5 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

Girls have an advantage because everybody knows that they go through menstrual cycle call: everybody knows that they need their pads or whatever they use, so wearing diapers for a girl is really easy. Also, if they have kids, they deal with the fact that their bladders might be weaker because of their pelvic floor. you have to press real hard or push as they say to actually bring your baby through the birth canal, which is part of the reason why some Times deal with a lot of issues with weakness after childbirth. I don't think you would have a problem at all wearing a diaper,, and it all depends on what type of dress you wear or what type of skirt. you could also hide it by putting on your diaper, with your boosters for convenience and safety, and then put your for cover over your diaper, and then put your tights over that or your nylons. I guarantee you if a girl were to walk through for example wearing a Mega Max, and they had the right skirt address on with the right protection over your diaper, plus Your tights or your nylons, no one would be any of the wiser if you had the right type of dress on. in my opinion, no one's gonna question you no one's going to worry about that, and half the people around you probably won't even know you're wearing a diaper, unless of course they see it, or they hear it. I wear Mega Max's every day, and those things are so thick and bulky that they sometimes will crinkle if you move, but in my estimation they do not crinkle so bad so bad that they automatically give you away.

I actually am a trans girl, so I don't menstruate sadly. But still, the societal expectation is that it's normal for women to need pads sometimes, so that makes me feel better. I pass really well, so people don't know I'm trans unless I tell them. So I still have that benefit of people seeing me as a woman (which I am!). And I loooooove wearing skirts and wearing diapers under skirts makes me very happy. ???

[Goerge]

I read that some people who go though the transition end up urinal incontinent from the operation.

[Hannah YMS]

I can't add much to what has already been said, but I want to say a couple of things.

First off, if people notice that you're wearing a diaper, the first thought on their mind will not be "did you make yourself incontinent?" If they do, they're probably an ABDL, and in that case, no worries.

I've been 24/7 now for just over 2 years (still not incontinent, though) and I've been wearing diapers 18/7 for many years, and not one person has noticed me wearing a diaper. If you keep it more or less discrete, you'll be fine.

If you want to pursue incontinence, go for it and don't hold back. Better to be happy in this short life than not. And if you feel you no longer want to pursue incontinence after untraining for a while, then you have plenty of time to stop untraining before you hit the point of no return.

Enjoy it and have fun!  

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, kittengirl173 said:

I don't think I talked about this enough in my post as I was focusing on my anxieties, but of course the main reason I want incontinence because feeling not in control of my bladder sounds so right to me! It gives me such euphoria to think of myself as a cute girl who needs and uses her diapers. I just feel all glowy inside and hug my stuffies thinking about it. I want to wake up with a full diaper of pee. I want to happily pee myself while studying math. And I want to feel even more attached to my diapers than I already am. I love using diapers, and I don't like not using them.

This is rather embarrassing, but I was reading both your journey post Kif as well as DFJeff52's. DFJeff had the idea of peeing ones pants in order to really feel you need diapers. Since I currently don't have any diapers (need to buy more), this sounded like something fun I could do right now. I went to the shower, and just peed, soaking my panties and skirt. And this is so bizarre, but...I loved it? I loved feeling so desperate, like this is what I would do without diapers. It made me feel so vulnerable, so cute, so...me. But I also felt so confused. Why do I like this? People aren't supposed to not want to be in control of when they pee. Why is my brain so weird?

@kittengirl173

sounds to me like we have a little girl here that just admitted to me that she loves her diapers  and wetting and messing  her pants, she loves wearing the diapers, and she loves the thrill! sometimes what happens is that you end up having these incredible feelings that are so crazy so out of sorts and so weird that you just can't believe it. some of Some of what you are talking about is what I felt like when I was eight years old period I always wanted to wear diapers for some reason because they felt so good, because they crinkled, because they're white, because they smell good, and because of one thing when you have a diaper on you're allowed to pee Your pants and you're allowed to mess your pants and there's nobody that's going to stop you, and if you're young enough no one will care period that is the thrill: you're doing something that you think is wrong or gives you one hell of a thrill, because you think it's wrong.

I can tell you right now that yes there is a thrill of doing something that you think or I think is juvenile, or really really really little. when you're a kid, you can't control your pee or your messing, so you end up releasing because there is no other choice. Kids sit in their diapers and they enjoy the feeling, and then after a while somebody noticed that they smell, or that it's uncomfortable, and they'll change a diaper. a kid will have a full diaper and they'll have to clean them up, and a parent will just do it because that's the way it is. A kid is not gonna get in trouble for doing that, and that is the good part. when you're an adult, and you enjoy diapers are using them, you end up feeling like a little kid when you pee or you mess because you remember what may happen if they catch you. it's the same thing it's a thrill:  no one is gonna catch you doing anything wrong per se, and no one is going to report that to anyone, because if you wear diapers, someone automatically thinks that you need them. you just told me things in the post above that tell me that you need the diapers, that you want to use the diapers, that it makes you feel good, that it completes you. You also have bouts of incontinence and not being able to get to the bathroom.

So you just admitted your need for diapers:  It would be like if I saw you in a room full of diapers that actually fit you, and they were so cute. you'd walk into the room and you'd pick the diapers that you think work good for you, and walk out and hope that somebody doesn't catch you. The thrill is that you can do something, and you feel like you're doing you're doing something naughty, but no one's really gonna catch you. if you are in a math class for example, are you earn a class for your PHD, I bet you 10 clean diapers that you would be able to wear the following the following type of setup: A halfway decent looking shirt, A onesie, A skirt and a nice pair of shoes. you could wear the crinkliest diapers on the planet, and as long as you're wearing the outfit that you are, with your dress or skirt, and a nice pair of pantyhose or tights, no one is gonna see anything no one is gonna say anything and if they do, as I said you are covered by the ADA even if You may not medically need diapers, but it sounds like you might have incontinence issues, so if these get any worse you have your in. there's nothing wrong with wearing diapers and there's no way that you are gonna get in trouble for enjoying them. the only thing that you have to do was be able to fork to pay for them. you also have to be able to find the diaper that works for you: for me that's a megamax, I want a diaper because of my total incontinence both Ways and very severe incontinence, I want a diaper that will be able to handle whatever I release in it. if I Do a number 2 in my diaper, I want it to be able to hold in the diaper, so that it does not make a mess all over the floor. I might have to clean myself up, but my diaper being a Mega Max is designed to take care of what it's holding. if I let go of something And Pee, I wanna know that the diaper will be able to support what I'm dealing with without leaking all over the place. in essence I don't want to be wearing a diaper who has the quality of a bounty paper towel on my rear end, because I want to diaper to work well.

So young lady, it sounds to me like you just admitted that you need your diapers in more ways than one: you just have to find a way To deal with getting the diapers, and then figuring out a good way to be able to dress in a way that won't give it away. sounds to me like you've already gotten A way to do that, so all you have to do now is figure out how you're going to add all the cute clothes that you want to wear with your diaper so that you can feel comfortable under there. there's nothing wrong with wearing diapers under the hood, To be ashamed of or embarrassed about. there are many people in the world that wear diapers, and the reason they wear diapers is Vast. some people May think that it's embarrassing to wear diapers, but I can tell you I wear them 24/7, 365, and I am not embarrassed at all. if I mess myself, then I enjoy it As much as I can without having to worry about the particulars when it comes to rashes. I have all the topicals the gloves and everything to take care of the problem period so I could decide one day that I'm going to wet myself i'm gonna mess myself and I'm gonna sit in it, but the last time I did that I regretted it because I wasn't using barrier cream which is important to use. There's nothing to be afraid of and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. think of yourself as a 2 year old adult girl who wears diapers and needs to use them.

You will find that the easiest way to become incon is to decide one day that you're just going to not wear under underwear at all. you're going to wear diapers all the time 24/7: you're going to wet in your diapers you're going to mess in your diapers and you're going to change them as needed. you are not gonna worry about anything else. once you get used to the fact that your body uses the diapers, then you can move onto after the acceptance phase you can then determine if you're going to add fun parts of it like parts of the lifestyle. we have people that will be like Adult babies and they'll act that way. they'll use bottles and pacifiers and they might even eat baby food or whatever. it depends on how far you want to go. in your case you're wearing diapers and you love them. you can't Deny that you love them, and you can't deny that the feeling is there. people that deny that are ones that decide that they May not want diapers, but the feelings are there. in your case I think the feeling is there, but you're asking yourself for permission to do what you're trying to do, and in some ways you've already given yourself permission. the way that you take care of that is to just decide one day young lady you're going to wear diapers and that's it!

And believe you me, it is OK to wear diapers: I wear diapers all the time! I will take my pants off for example at the end of the day, and I'll have a shirt on on top, and my diapers and my trifectas will be on below. the fun part is that you can just sit there and you can and you can have a full bladder or a full bowels and once you do that, you can just release in the thing and do your business. Part of being a little kid is that you can just let it ride let it rip and nobody will say anything other than it might smell, and your parents might want to change your diapers. or you tell your parents that you have white diapers, the only thing that's really bad is the fact that your parents want to train you, and based on when they want to train you it might be earlier than normal, and sometimes kids may be attracted to diapers because they're forced out of them too early period I would be shocked if parents would allow their kids to be in diapers past 2, because they don't want to change them anymore 'cause they get ridiculous I think that kids should be trained by 2 1/2. it's getting harder and harder for kids to be in diapers for longer than that, because most parents don't wanna deal with it.

What I would do is embrace it all the way around. if you wanna wear diapers, go for it don't procrastinate, because the more you procrastinate the more you're denying yourself the pleasure and the fun and the feelings: I would even go so far as to take one of your stuffies that you love and keep on hugging it every time you get a chance call and treat it like a baby, and sometimes what it also helps is if you get diapers and baby sizes, you can diaper your stuffy as well so now you have a little stuffy that is just like you, treat that stuffy just like your son or your daughter and make sure that it is comfortable and let it be your comfort Item, just like a pacifier. usually Usually people start by wearing diapers, and then they work up. if you like to wear diapers go for it, and if you liked the idea of using pacifiers or bottles, that might come later. just be ready to deal with your situation to the point or the level you want to deal with it.

In your case that would probably be that you want diapers and you want onesies in your dresses or skirts and your tights or your pantyhose and your shoes. I think you would be an awesome cute little baby if you ended up dressing up that way, and because you're a lady no one is gonna question it if you're wearing your dress are you wearing your skirt, and you are A lady. no one is going to i'll be run up to you and then say that they hear a diaper and then pull your pants or pull your skirts down, if you do that you could slap them around like a fish out of water Out of water! just have fun with this and enjoy it. let it go as far out as you want. you don't have to be a full baby on display when you're in the classroom with either your classmates in your PHD program or classmates in any other particular classes or if you're in teacher mode and you're teaching people they don't want to do that in Your clash. if you use your diapers, you use your diapers: make sure you have a diaper cover over your diapers when you put on your onesie. if you're totally covered all the way around the box, and it looks like you're wearing a onesie but it's not really a onesie, cause you covered up yourself, you're all set. you could wear a short onesie, and then put on for example a Hot red top, white Pantyhose or tights and, and then A black skirt and then And then a pair of colored shoes in your favorite color. if you were to dress like that, no one is going to question you, because the only thing they're gonna be paying attention to is you teaching the math skills and not whether you're wearing a diaper. no one's gonna hear it if you prepare yourself In a way that allows them not to hear it. Don't feel guilty if for example after a long day you decide to strip all the way down to just your diaper and maybe a top, because that's how some people relax including me. it's all up to you and not only that, but it is your decision and you should feel comfortable about what you want to do. if you wanna be an adult baby, and you want to wear diapers and you want to feel good, and you wanna look good that way, and you think you look good then that's all that matters! all you have to do is be able to take care of any P accidents or any mess accidents.

So don't worry about people getting after you. just think of it this way you are you are Who you are and what you are, and no one is gonna change that. if you had the feelings that you love diapers and you want it to wear diapers and diapers make you feel good, and it made you feel guilty and all of the things that you're talking about. all of these feelings were there before There beforehand. you can't Deny that you like diapers or you love diapers or that they make you feel better inside. by all means wear diapers and enjoy them. if that means that you totally mesh your pants and you enjoy the feeling or are you enjoyed The fact that you are wet, or that it makes you feel naughty like you did something wrong, and that gives you a thrill, enjoy it. grab that old stuffy at yours and give that thing a hug and then And then give it a kiss and enjoy yourself. just don't allow yourself to stay in a wet or messy diaper for a long long time, or your stomach may end up turning if you are averted to the smell, or having a dirty diaper could cause one of two things: either you have a severe red rash because of the fact that P is full of ammonia, or that fecal matter is acidic and can cause major major problems with burning. Enjoy the fact that you want what you want, and embrace it all the way around: because you are what you are and you can't deny that. that's one thing that I had to experience and know for myself: I got sick of having to fight what I knew to be true, and people here on daily diapers made that something that I now understand: now that I understand it I don't care if I'm wearing a diaper and I do jumping Jacks In here, because I'm the one living in here and nobody's gonna say that. I wouldn't go around in parade around with nothing on, but I certainly in the heck wouldn't be in a situation where where A diaper is bad 'cause I've done it right in front of the maintenance people in my own house because that's where I live: they have keys to the unit they knock and I ask them to enter, so it's no big deal, so as long as you know that that's what you want, and you're comfortable with it go for it.

I'm willing to bet you that if you started wearing diapers 24/7, you would be so relaxed and so comfortable that it wouldn't even bother you, even if you're not incontinent you. you may have to use diapers that you buy yourself from Amazon, because you don't want to waste insurance money, but if they find that you have a medical need because of incontinence, make sure that you are dealing with your insurance carrier if they need it, because if you're able to prove medical necessity, make sure the diapers you get work with you and work best for you.

Enjoy yourself and be yourself! you've earned it and it sounds to me like you really really want it: it'd be like a piece of chocolate cake: if I made you a wicked piece of chocolate cake and you couldn't have I said that you couldn't have one, and I told you that I didn't wanna see you touching that cake, your mouth would water so bad and you would figure out a way to get that cake get that piece of cake even though I told you you couldn't have it: that's what having a diaper fetish is like, what it feels like to be in a situation where you need that diaper, you need that feeling you need that ability to be confident and not worry about it cold: the crinkley diaper for example makes you remember what it was like to be a kid, it feels good against your skin, it feels good in other ways too. it makes you feel like something that you have not been able to do is missing: it completes you And that's basically what it is.

Good Much!

Brian

[Wheels]

20 hours ago, kittengirl173 said:

I want to be incontinent because I want to be. I love diapers so much and I want to have no excuses not to wear them. I hate feeling like I'm not supposed to wear them because I don't physically need them. I hate feeling like I'm wasting money when I buy them because I don't physically need them.

...

But I worry that if I did try to train myself to need diapers, I'm making a huge mistake for my career. I want to be either a math professor or a math high school teacher. I'm about to enter my senior year of college and I'm getting ready to apply to PhD programs in math. My primary goal is to be a professor, but my backup plan is teaching high school...

I'm curious, is the second sentence in the top paragraph the primary force that's driving the first sentence? I would think that the second sentence would be much easier to overcome than the first sentence would be to achieve. If your joy for diapers is so great, yet the guilt is so steep that you feel like the solution is to become incontinent, then it would make sense to proceed with extreme caution when considering becoming incontinent. Perhaps the more you explore and overcome the guilt of your joy of wearing them despite physically not needing them, you might achieve a level of acceptance in which you enjoy yourself without having to alter your physical control of your bladder. 

However, if you chose to go forward and become fully dependent on diapers for urinary incontinence, I don't see any reason why you could not have a fulfilling career as a professor or teacher while wearing diapers. Nobody would ever have to know, and the surroundings that these jobs take place within have easy access to bathrooms and potential breaks where you could take care of things if your diapers needed to be changed.

[kittengirl173]

6 minutes ago, Wheels said:

I'm curious, is the second sentence in the top paragraph the primary force that's driving the first sentence? I would think that the second sentence would be much easier to overcome than the first sentence would be to achieve. If your joy for diapers is so great, yet the guilt is so steep that you feel like the solution is to become incontinent, then it would make sense to proceed with extreme caution when considering becoming incontinent. Perhaps the more you explore and overcome the guilt of your joy of wearing them despite physically not needing them, you might achieve a level of acceptance in which you enjoy yourself without having to alter your physical control of your bladder. 

However, if you chose to go forward and become fully dependent on diapers for urinary incontinence, I don't see any reason why you could not have a fulfilling career as a professor or teacher while wearing diapers. Nobody would ever have to know, and the surroundings that these jobs take place within have easy access to bathrooms and potential breaks where you could take care of things if your diapers needed to be changed.

Thank you for challenging my thinking. I go into this more in my second comment in this thread, but no, I don't think the second sentence ("I want an excuse to wear diapers") is what is creating the first sentence ("I want to be incontinent"). There may be some influence, but I really do would love to have less bladder control. But my anxiety is worrying that perhaps it is exactly what you're saying, that I really want to be incontinent only to have an excuse to wear diapers. I don't think that's true, and I think my brain is just being anxious as it often is, but I do want to keep reflecting on this.

Also, your second paragraph makes me happy. ?

[Kif]

Sounds like you're in a great place for all this! Honestly, even better than when I started. 

Wishing you the best with your journey! ❤️

[kittengirl173]

23 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@kittengirl173

sounds to me like we have a little girl here that just admitted to me that she loves her diapers  and wetting and messing  her pants, she loves wearing the diapers, and she loves the thrill! sometimes what happens is that you end up having these incredible feelings that are so crazy so out of sorts and so weird that you just can't believe it. some of Some of what you are talking about is what I felt like when I was eight years old period I always wanted to wear diapers for some reason because they felt so good, because they crinkled, because they're white, because they smell good, and because of one thing when you have a diaper on you're allowed to pee Your pants and you're allowed to mess your pants and there's nobody that's going to stop you, and if you're young enough no one will care period that is the thrill: you're doing something that you think is wrong or gives you one hell of a thrill, because you think it's wrong.

I can tell you right now that yes there is a thrill of doing something that you think or I think is juvenile, or really really really little. when you're a kid, you can't control your pee or your messing, so you end up releasing because there is no other choice. Kids sit in their diapers and they enjoy the feeling, and then after a while somebody noticed that they smell, or that it's uncomfortable, and they'll change a diaper. a kid will have a full diaper and they'll have to clean them up, and a parent will just do it because that's the way it is. A kid is not gonna get in trouble for doing that, and that is the good part. when you're an adult, and you enjoy diapers are using them, you end up feeling like a little kid when you pee or you mess because you remember what may happen if they catch you. it's the same thing it's a thrill:  no one is gonna catch you doing anything wrong per se, and no one is going to report that to anyone, because if you wear diapers, someone automatically thinks that you need them. you just told me things in the post above that tell me that you need the diapers, that you want to use the diapers, that it makes you feel good, that it completes you. You also have bouts of incontinence and not being able to get to the bathroom.

So you just admitted your need for diapers:  It would be like if I saw you in a room full of diapers that actually fit you, and they were so cute. you'd walk into the room and you'd pick the diapers that you think work good for you, and walk out and hope that somebody doesn't catch you. The thrill is that you can do something, and you feel like you're doing you're doing something naughty, but no one's really gonna catch you. if you are in a math class for example, are you earn a class for your PHD, I bet you 10 clean diapers that you would be able to wear the following the following type of setup: A halfway decent looking shirt, A onesie, A skirt and a nice pair of shoes. you could wear the crinkliest diapers on the planet, and as long as you're wearing the outfit that you are, with your dress or skirt, and a nice pair of pantyhose or tights, no one is gonna see anything no one is gonna say anything and if they do, as I said you are covered by the ADA even if You may not medically need diapers, but it sounds like you might have incontinence issues, so if these get any worse you have your in. there's nothing wrong with wearing diapers and there's no way that you are gonna get in trouble for enjoying them. the only thing that you have to do was be able to fork to pay for them. you also have to be able to find the diaper that works for you: for me that's a megamax, I want a diaper because of my total incontinence both Ways and very severe incontinence, I want a diaper that will be able to handle whatever I release in it. if I Do a number 2 in my diaper, I want it to be able to hold in the diaper, so that it does not make a mess all over the floor. I might have to clean myself up, but my diaper being a Mega Max is designed to take care of what it's holding. if I let go of something And Pee, I wanna know that the diaper will be able to support what I'm dealing with without leaking all over the place. in essence I don't want to be wearing a diaper who has the quality of a bounty paper towel on my rear end, because I want to diaper to work well.

So young lady, it sounds to me like you just admitted that you need your diapers in more ways than one: you just have to find a way To deal with getting the diapers, and then figuring out a good way to be able to dress in a way that won't give it away. sounds to me like you've already gotten A way to do that, so all you have to do now is figure out how you're going to add all the cute clothes that you want to wear with your diaper so that you can feel comfortable under there. there's nothing wrong with wearing diapers under the hood, To be ashamed of or embarrassed about. there are many people in the world that wear diapers, and the reason they wear diapers is Vast. some people May think that it's embarrassing to wear diapers, but I can tell you I wear them 24/7, 365, and I am not embarrassed at all. if I mess myself, then I enjoy it As much as I can without having to worry about the particulars when it comes to rashes. I have all the topicals the gloves and everything to take care of the problem period so I could decide one day that I'm going to wet myself i'm gonna mess myself and I'm gonna sit in it, but the last time I did that I regretted it because I wasn't using barrier cream which is important to use. There's nothing to be afraid of and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. think of yourself as a 2 year old adult girl who wears diapers and needs to use them.

You will find that the easiest way to become incon is to decide one day that you're just going to not wear under underwear at all. you're going to wear diapers all the time 24/7: you're going to wet in your diapers you're going to mess in your diapers and you're going to change them as needed. you are not gonna worry about anything else. once you get used to the fact that your body uses the diapers, then you can move onto after the acceptance phase you can then determine if you're going to add fun parts of it like parts of the lifestyle. we have people that will be like Adult babies and they'll act that way. they'll use bottles and pacifiers and they might even eat baby food or whatever. it depends on how far you want to go. in your case you're wearing diapers and you love them. you can't Deny that you love them, and you can't deny that the feeling is there. people that deny that are ones that decide that they May not want diapers, but the feelings are there. in your case I think the feeling is there, but you're asking yourself for permission to do what you're trying to do, and in some ways you've already given yourself permission. the way that you take care of that is to just decide one day young lady you're going to wear diapers and that's it!

And believe you me, it is OK to wear diapers: I wear diapers all the time! I will take my pants off for example at the end of the day, and I'll have a shirt on on top, and my diapers and my trifectas will be on below. the fun part is that you can just sit there and you can and you can have a full bladder or a full bowels and once you do that, you can just release in the thing and do your business. Part of being a little kid is that you can just let it ride let it rip and nobody will say anything other than it might smell, and your parents might want to change your diapers. or you tell your parents that you have white diapers, the only thing that's really bad is the fact that your parents want to train you, and based on when they want to train you it might be earlier than normal, and sometimes kids may be attracted to diapers because they're forced out of them too early period I would be shocked if parents would allow their kids to be in diapers past 2, because they don't want to change them anymore 'cause they get ridiculous I think that kids should be trained by 2 1/2. it's getting harder and harder for kids to be in diapers for longer than that, because most parents don't wanna deal with it.

What I would do is embrace it all the way around. if you wanna wear diapers, go for it don't procrastinate, because the more you procrastinate the more you're denying yourself the pleasure and the fun and the feelings: I would even go so far as to take one of your stuffies that you love and keep on hugging it every time you get a chance call and treat it like a baby, and sometimes what it also helps is if you get diapers and baby sizes, you can diaper your stuffy as well so now you have a little stuffy that is just like you, treat that stuffy just like your son or your daughter and make sure that it is comfortable and let it be your comfort Item, just like a pacifier. usually Usually people start by wearing diapers, and then they work up. if you like to wear diapers go for it, and if you liked the idea of using pacifiers or bottles, that might come later. just be ready to deal with your situation to the point or the level you want to deal with it.

In your case that would probably be that you want diapers and you want onesies in your dresses or skirts and your tights or your pantyhose and your shoes. I think you would be an awesome cute little baby if you ended up dressing up that way, and because you're a lady no one is gonna question it if you're wearing your dress are you wearing your skirt, and you are A lady. no one is going to i'll be run up to you and then say that they hear a diaper and then pull your pants or pull your skirts down, if you do that you could slap them around like a fish out of water Out of water! just have fun with this and enjoy it. let it go as far out as you want. you don't have to be a full baby on display when you're in the classroom with either your classmates in your PHD program or classmates in any other particular classes or if you're in teacher mode and you're teaching people they don't want to do that in Your clash. if you use your diapers, you use your diapers: make sure you have a diaper cover over your diapers when you put on your onesie. if you're totally covered all the way around the box, and it looks like you're wearing a onesie but it's not really a onesie, cause you covered up yourself, you're all set. you could wear a short onesie, and then put on for example a Hot red top, white Pantyhose or tights and, and then A black skirt and then And then a pair of colored shoes in your favorite color. if you were to dress like that, no one is going to question you, because the only thing they're gonna be paying attention to is you teaching the math skills and not whether you're wearing a diaper. no one's gonna hear it if you prepare yourself In a way that allows them not to hear it. Don't feel guilty if for example after a long day you decide to strip all the way down to just your diaper and maybe a top, because that's how some people relax including me. it's all up to you and not only that, but it is your decision and you should feel comfortable about what you want to do. if you wanna be an adult baby, and you want to wear diapers and you want to feel good, and you wanna look good that way, and you think you look good then that's all that matters! all you have to do is be able to take care of any P accidents or any mess accidents.

So don't worry about people getting after you. just think of it this way you are you are Who you are and what you are, and no one is gonna change that. if you had the feelings that you love diapers and you want it to wear diapers and diapers make you feel good, and it made you feel guilty and all of the things that you're talking about. all of these feelings were there before There beforehand. you can't Deny that you like diapers or you love diapers or that they make you feel better inside. by all means wear diapers and enjoy them. if that means that you totally mesh your pants and you enjoy the feeling or are you enjoyed The fact that you are wet, or that it makes you feel naughty like you did something wrong, and that gives you a thrill, enjoy it. grab that old stuffy at yours and give that thing a hug and then And then give it a kiss and enjoy yourself. just don't allow yourself to stay in a wet or messy diaper for a long long time, or your stomach may end up turning if you are averted to the smell, or having a dirty diaper could cause one of two things: either you have a severe red rash because of the fact that P is full of ammonia, or that fecal matter is acidic and can cause major major problems with burning. Enjoy the fact that you want what you want, and embrace it all the way around: because you are what you are and you can't deny that. that's one thing that I had to experience and know for myself: I got sick of having to fight what I knew to be true, and people here on daily diapers made that something that I now understand: now that I understand it I don't care if I'm wearing a diaper and I do jumping Jacks In here, because I'm the one living in here and nobody's gonna say that. I wouldn't go around in parade around with nothing on, but I certainly in the heck wouldn't be in a situation where where A diaper is bad 'cause I've done it right in front of the maintenance people in my own house because that's where I live: they have keys to the unit they knock and I ask them to enter, so it's no big deal, so as long as you know that that's what you want, and you're comfortable with it go for it.

I'm willing to bet you that if you started wearing diapers 24/7, you would be so relaxed and so comfortable that it wouldn't even bother you, even if you're not incontinent you. you may have to use diapers that you buy yourself from Amazon, because you don't want to waste insurance money, but if they find that you have a medical need because of incontinence, make sure that you are dealing with your insurance carrier if they need it, because if you're able to prove medical necessity, make sure the diapers you get work with you and work best for you.

Enjoy yourself and be yourself! you've earned it and it sounds to me like you really really want it: it'd be like a piece of chocolate cake: if I made you a wicked piece of chocolate cake and you couldn't have I said that you couldn't have one, and I told you that I didn't wanna see you touching that cake, your mouth would water so bad and you would figure out a way to get that cake get that piece of cake even though I told you you couldn't have it: that's what having a diaper fetish is like, what it feels like to be in a situation where you need that diaper, you need that feeling you need that ability to be confident and not worry about it cold: the crinkley diaper for example makes you remember what it was like to be a kid, it feels good against your skin, it feels good in other ways too. it makes you feel like something that you have not been able to do is missing: it completes you And that's basically what it is.

Good Much!

Brian

AAAAAAAAAA you are so affirming and hitting all of my gender euphoria and little buttons aaaaaa. I love being called a cute little girl or young lady, and I really love diapers ??. It took me a while to get through your message because I kept blushing and rolling around in happiness aaaa. Thank you so much for the nice words!! I do need diapers!!

[~Brian~]

2 minutes ago, kittengirl173 said:

AAAAAAAAAA you are so affirming and hitting all of my gender euphoria and little buttons aaaaaa. I love being called a cute little girl or young lady, and I really love diapers ??. It took me a while to get through your message because I kept blushing and rolling around in happiness aaaa. Thank you so much for the nice words!! I do need diapers!!

@kittengirl173

I am so happy for you that you are happy not all we have to do is make sure that you continue to be that way, and that you are able to move to the point where you are ready and able to wear diapers and use them without without fear or trepidation. What I used to think when I started having problems in 2019, was that it was crazy or silly or what ever it is, and and I was trying to figure out why I felt the way I did, I realized that I've always felt the way I did, I just had repressed the feelings for so long, and when I first put my first diaper on when I started having problems with incontinence, it brought back all of the feelings that I had of the sensations all of the endorphins all of the things that make everything just feel right.

When everything feels just right, or you have been Feeling like you were an orbit, that's the way it felt for me. I wondered why the heck I waited so long, thinking why did I try to hide what I am and My feelings. I finally realized that I was hiding my feelings because of the fact that I felt embarrassed or scared, and as such was worried about what would happen. when I came here in 2019, that was after I had made the decision that I needed help, after constant accidents or constant having issues. I finally gave up and said to myself that I couldn't continue to do this. I finally had to turn around and ask somebody why I felt the way I felt. I felt guilty like you did like something was wrong with me, or why did I feel this way. it's like somebody giving me a scrumptious piece of cake: it smells so good it looks good and it's there. Then when you grab onto the thing and you take your first bite, it's like tasting gold liquid gold running down your throat and you finally realize that you have hit the maximum euphoria that everybody deals with.

After talking to many people here, I realized that what I am experiencing is no different then somebody else that is dealing with something that they really like or really Attracted to. Of course, with I would like to have A partner that loves me for what and who I am, who doesn't think of me as strange, who loves me and will support me, and doesn't think I'm strange the. the problem is is that there are many individuals who are in relationships karma and they might not be type of relationships that make the person whole. If I'm going to be in such a relationship, the person would have to accept me for who and what I am, diapers and all. I realize that I can't hide what is actually A part of me. I can't lie to myself and then try to put on a shield and say that I'm not attracted to a diaper. if somebody put a diaper in front of me they would probably see me have a major erection or something, and then the Lady would probably tell me why am I denying myself the pleasure!

It sounds like I hit every single pleasure center in your entire body! I am glad that I was able to do that for you, because I was able to elicit all of the responses that you feel when you Feel happy. I bet you if we were to find you the cutest diaper, or the thickest diaper imaginable, and we were able to put you into this diaper, that you would be in so much happiness come, that you would be screaming with Glee. I never thought that I would understand why people would feel that way, but I am wired the way I am, and I can't deny that. I came to the realization in 2020 that I might as well Make the decision and say that I am what I am I am who I am, and I can't lie to myself. there's no reason to hide what I am, there's no reason to hide why I feel the way I do. I don't have to hide my diapers anymore, I don't have to hide my feelings anymore, because a diaper helps me with my incontinence, but it also helps me with my feelings. i've always liked diapers since the age of eight, and I guess what happened is whatever it was either it was the crinkliness, the smell, the idea that someone would put me in a diaper, the idea that I wasn't supposed to take it off, the idea that I was supposed to use it, or the idea that if I used it I would be a baby, because I wasn't supposed to change it myself. maybe it was because of the fact that A diaper is supposed to be used, to release things that you're holding, and you're not supposed to feel guilty. being an adult or being a young kid, they always shame you into the fact that diapers are awful things, and that you shouldn't be wearing them, you shouldn't be enjoying them, and all of this thing. people make you feel guilty and shamed and make you feel like a baby because you like diapers. liking diapers is no different than liking a favorite blanket or liking them favorite drink or something like that. putting on a diaper that feels so good is like having a major endorphin rush, or maybe a major chocolate rush I can't really explain how that is: other than to say that everything that I elicited from you and your response, is what I would be showing and acting like if somebody had found me, and told me that they were going to help me, then they diaper me and they take care of me like you were talking about: you sit in a very comfortable position, having several Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Moments, then somebody decides to add add piece by piece baby equipment pieces such as a bottle, such as a pacifier, such as a onesie, such as a diaper, and each time you will get pushed further and further into your comfort zone and you feel like you are you are in heaven: you don't wanna get away: you don't want to stop: you just want to enjoy the pleasure!

back in 2020 that's exactly the way I felt! when I first messed my pants for the first time, I said to myself oh my god I finally did the deed, this is not good: but then when I finally got the right diapers, it just felt right. I might not want to mess myself or I might not want to pee myself i'd say, but now that I have the diapers on it doesn't bother me. A diaper is there to help you in more ways than one period I like the plastic backed ones because it reminds me of how it was when I was a baby! I don't like the ones that they give you now because they don't have the plastic back shell and they don't feel the same. eliciting a response is part of the way that you can tell whether somebody is enjoying themselves. Many times I feel like I want someone to put me in a position where I am going to really like what they're going to do, and then they do to me what you want done to you, being placed in a diaper and being dressed in a way that says it's OK to use these, it's OK to have fun, we want you to use these, we want you to be calm and relaxed. when you're a baby, that's exactly what happens. they put you in a diaper, they dress you warmly and they care of you lovingly. all of those particular things make you feel like you're on cloud 9. you hit every single thing: that's the way I feel too. The idea here is that you need to be comfortable with whom you are and what you are. A phd professor or a teacher, of math no doubt, which is my worst subject: and you will be that teacher and you will be teaching people, but the idea here is be yourself: not the end of the world, and if I can actually elicit the response by calling you a little girl, a cute little girl, telling you how proud I am, and all of this, then I know that you really really really want this to happen. There are many ways that you can do this,  And you should never feel the one bit.

As I said: I am sure that there are ways that you can dress so you can be the type of lady and a young lady at that that you want to be. By dressing that way, you could wear a whole body suit or some sort of zip suit. under which you end up putting your favorite diapers karma a set of trifectas, and then ZIP your onesie On. once you do that, you could then put a shirt over your onesie, where a halfway decent, and then Wear a pair of possible pantyhose or maybe even some tights. and even for a little bit of flare, you could wear A red black blue or any other type of bow in your hair. as a lady, you could get away with dressing like this. no one would be the wiser if you had a Mega Max under there, because you're covered. You have or you would have your onesie on and no one would know the difference, except for you and anyone who You told about this.

In this way, you can then be the math teacher that you want to be or be the math professor that you want to be, because you are outfitted the that would make you feel the littlest or the cutest. This way you could use your diaper and, and you would be able to possibly get away with it because no one would be the wiser period of course you would have to be able to change your diaper if necessary, but that is the easy part if you have the right type of bathroom facilities and you have the right setup. Who says that you can't feel the way that you just said that you felt when you read my response! I say you can be that person, and you can feel that way, and not only that but if you are dressed the way you are dressed, you could literally spend the entire day peeing peeing your pants, and no one would be the wiser. if you have a Mega Max on for example, they last 12 hours. the only thing that would be a pain is if you really had to go and you didn't have the right type of Booster under there. when you end up having a full diaper, you could take it off at the end of the day, or you could go home: then you could then turn around and say that you feel little, and then when you take off your onesie, and you're prepared to change the diaper, then you could say that you feel young and you are: nothing says young lady better than having a very well used mega Mega Max diaper on underneath. for example, I just put one on last night before going to bed. I didn't change it before 6 o'clock tonight. when I took off my megamax that thing weighed Probably 5 pounds!  when I took it off I noticed that I had wet it all the way from the front of it all the way up to the back of it all the way through. Nothing sends the signal that you are little stronger than having a diaper that is used to its extent full extent possible, and when you take your diaper off the thing is wet from stem to Stern.

so what I'm saying to you is don't let don't let your mom or your dad or anybody else dissuade you from being what you want and who you wanna be!  They may be helping you in your academic career, but you are the captain of the ship. you may have to follow their lead For certain things for awhile longer, but don't let them dissuade you from being the better person and the best you can be. you can wear those diapers and you can be the young lady that you want to be, and you can have fun wearing them. enjoy it and embrace it, because I'm telling you, more stimulating than to be able to let yourself go and realize that you put a diaper on! a diaper is there for you to release in, to let everything out in, and in that way, that means that you can act like the Little one that you want to act like. There are very successful individuals that wear diapers every day working in any type of jobs. I have friends that work in differing sectors, and they wear diapers everyday. I bet you money that they wouldn't trade one iota if like their diapers What they've done, because they realize that they are who they feel like they are. What I'm saying to you is, enjoy it Think of it like somebody giving you that succulent piece of cake: one that tastes so good that you can't resist, one that someone is trying to keep away from you and you want it so bad that you are willing to do anything and everything to do it and to get that piece. I don't say that you should become a bank robber or a criminal to get that piece of cake, but the idea is the drop the drive when you have a diaper on or the feelings that you elicit when you do what you just did, are exactly the way I felt when I finally was able to say to myself I give up I give in, this is where I wanna be this is what I want!

in mathematical circles 1 + 1 + 1 = 3. In your case one, a diaper plus one of feeling plus one you're transitioning surgery equal being complete! you might not you might not be able to add 1 + 1 + 1 and get 3 right now, but you can add 1 + 1 to get 2. this is because the diapers are easily obtainable, your feelings are already there, so that's 1 + 1. You already have your incontinence, or your struggles with incontinence, so you don't have to worry about whether you need them or not. i'm telling you that you need them. i'm telling you that you would be more complete if you're wearing diapers than if you didn't. not only that but if your depression like mine gets bad seasonally, the worst thing that you can do is to deny something that is true: If I gave you a second piece of cake, and ask you does it smell good, does it taste good, do you want it, does it make you feel good? you would probably tell me that all three of those questions are true, so there's no denying it. A plastic diaper to me feels good because it helps me to keep My feelings in check. this this this means that I can now where are the diapers that I thought I thought would be like being taboo, because I need them now: my disability is getting different in scope, and I finally have come to the realization that diapers help me and I need to accept it.

So in your case little girl: you need to accept it as well! I don't think I need to tell you that you need to accept it, the only thing is that you need to figure out how you will be able to accept it. you need to be able to find out how you can make the transition so that diapers can be a part of your life, so you can be the best young lady you can be. there's no harm in wearing diapers and enjoying then, because everyone basically wears Different clothes. it's like having an engine in your car. when your car is being used and there's nothing wrong with your engine, the hood is closed. when you need to look in your engine and you need to fix it, you open up your hood and you look in there and you fix it. it's like being nude. you add clothing to your body when you get dressed in the morning, and The first thing you add is your those eriod in my case it's a diaper, in your case it probably will be a diaper. The difference is that you can put on a diaper first thing in the morning, and then put on your onesie and anything you want over the top, put on a pretty dress and in pretty top, make yourself look awesome, and then you walk out the door with a diaper bag or a bag that can be used as such, And no one is the wiser. all the while, your feelings and your aspirations under the hood are being dealt with, because it feels good to you. the only thing you have to be careful of is that you do not allow your feelings and aspirations to overload your memory centers, because you don't want a piece of chocolate cake, in this case wearing a really comfy diaper, to override everything so that you feel like a piece of string cheese because you are so comfortable in the thing that you are in overload!

I'm sure with practice you will be able to deal with this as it happens. @Kif There's always a good resource to help people like you who are going through exactly what she is going through, And I hope that eventually you will be able to do exactly what you want to do, and you won't have to worry about your mom or your dad or any of their ridiculous rules. it's just a shame that your parents do not accept you for who you are: i'm telling you right now I certainly do! if not happy the way you were or currently are, Decide what steps are necessary to make your life the way you want it to make it better for yourself. in my case and in yours, I think we can basically say you being a little girl and me liking my diapers and you liking yours, is the best thing that helps you and I. i'm sure that KIF would also agree that once she gets done with her surgeries, and she can go back to diapers, she will feel better about common because she won't have to be running to the bathroom, she can just put a diaper on and enjoy it.

In closing i'm glad that I was able to elicit the responses that I was. Based on those responses I can tell that this is exactly what you do need. there is no reason to feel guilty: you definitely do need your diapers: in a position where you feel comfortable:  I once said to myself that if I have to wear diapers for the rest of my life and use them for the rest of my life, if it makes me happy i'm gonna do it. I was once told by a friend: procrastinating about putting yourself in diapers when you that is what you really want to do is not gonna make it better for you, all that's going to do is increase your want and desire to do it! once you have the diaper on, and you have everything that you need, you will feel like a brand new young lady, and I bet you you will be the cutest little thing to be teaching teaching math! and then you will be able to say when you're all done 1 + 1 + 1 = 3 and the three will represent the three pieces of your puzzle they have come together and made you complete!

Good luck and keep in touch!  also feel free to follow me should you want to!

Brian

[DiapergirlWB]

You sound really similar in thought to me.  I crave the lack of control that is what drives me to wear diapers.  I love the feel of wetting and tolerate messing as part of that lack.  I have managed a good deal of diaper training.  I can still hold if I want to but I am so used to not that my default has kinda been reset to not hold.  I still don't wet the bed and do not wet immediately upon waking I still need to actually give permission that first time of the day.  So i have achieved some of what I want.  

i went into the holiday season with a lot of trepidation over wearing for Thanksgiving.  I stayed the course until it was really to late to do anything about it and ended up needing diapers for it.  We hosted so it was a little easier but i think no one noticed.  Christmas will be a bit different as we will be going to a fgamily members house for dinner  but i should be ok as I can get 4ish hours out of a diaper.  I am both excited and scared of the fact that at this point even if i tried to stop i would need at least some kind of protection but i know i will push it until it's too late again.

[kittengirl173]

Update: While I've struggled with having to pee all the time for years, I realized that my issues the past couple weeks was due to a multivitamin I was trying. I still have to pee a lot, but not as often as every 15 minutes most of the time. To be honest, I'm kind of sad, as I liked being a little incontinent without knowing how to stop it. ? ? But I guess it's good to know there was no larger medical issue going on. 

Today,  I had to go #2 and my body gave me very little warning. I almost missed the toilet in time. ?? I'm weird but I kind of liked it? Gosh I'm so weird for wanting to be incontinent but I keep wanting to be.

EDIT: Okay this is crazy. So after not taking the multivitamin for a few days to test my theory, I took it again this evening before I wrote the above, which confirmed that it was it that was making me pee even more than I already do. Well just now I accidentally wet myself while walking for no apparent reason. ? Not sure if it was related, but aaaaa it made my heart feel good. ?

[doogles]

On 12/1/2022 at 7:29 AM, Kif said:

Does at least part of you want incontinence for the sake of that feeling of not being in control of your bladder, because it simply just feels right and natural for you/your body? Or is it entirely out of fear that you won't be able to wear diapers if you aren't incontinent?

This is a really powerful couple of questions that really get at the heart of this forum. It's actually crystallizing my own desires. Wearing diapers is such a comforting and protecting experience that I remember how I would immediately gravitate towards them any time I felt stressed. Now, I am always stressed, and I worry that life will somehow take away this refuge. I would rather need them than risk the trauma and realization that life will inflict such cruelties so efficiently that it seems to be designed that way.

 

None of us are asking for special treatment or anything outside the system. We definitely don't want to force the spectre of our needs into the public. It's the self care that works for us.

[Diapered Dave]

On 12/4/2022 at 10:49 PM, kittengirl173 said:

EDIT: Okay this is crazy. So after not taking the multivitamin for a few days to test my theory, I took it again this evening before I wrote the above, which confirmed that it was it that was making me pee even more than I already do. Well just now I accidentally wet myself while walking for no apparent reason. ? Not sure if it was related, but aaaaa it made my heart feel good. ?

Ok, I'm SUPER curious... What kind of multi vitamin were you taking that had/has these side effects? And is it widely known to cause this??

[babykeiff]

On 12/1/2022 at 6:37 AM, kittengirl173 said:

I want to be incontinent because I want to be. I love diapers so much and I want to have no excuses not to wear them. I hate feeling like I'm not supposed to wear them because I don't physically need them. I hate feeling like I'm wasting money when I buy them because I don't physically need them.

All of these thoughts could be solved by reframing the situation. I don't physically need diapers, but I emotionally need them, so it's okay for me to wear them and I'm not wasting money to buy them. But regardless of that reframing, I still feel this urge to wear them all the time, to truly be the cute girl I am who loves her diapers. It feels like a part of my identity.

But I worry that if I did try to train myself to need diapers, I'm making a huge mistake for my career. I want to be either a math professor or a math high school teacher. I'm about to enter my senior year of college and I'm getting ready to apply to PhD programs in math. My primary goal is to be a professor, but my backup plan is teaching high school as becoming a professor is competitive. I'd be totally happy to become a high school math teacher as I've loved every job I've had.

My career goals are perhaps the most incompatible with wearing diapers for fun discreetly, especially if I taught at the high school level. If any student somehow found out, it could potentially ruin my career. Wearing diapers is a comfort thing, likely related to my trauma and abusive houshold growing up. To me, wearing diapers is a really wholesome thing. But in the unlikely scenario that a parent found out that their child's teacher wears diapers without a medical need for them...that would be bad.

At the college level, it might be more okay for me to wear diapers discretely under my clothes. But it still is a job where if anyone found out, which is possible given that I'd be interacting with students, it would be pretty embarrassing.

So in my head, incontinence solves my issues. I can wear diapers and no one is going to say "No, you can't" because I will need them my medical necessessity. So becoming incontinent is so tempting to me. At the same time, it also sound like a bad idea, because it could still influence the ability of students to take me seriously. And if I was ever #2 incontinent, that would be a huge problem to people around me.

But the factor that's complicating all of this is my body seems to be having incontinence issues on its own. I've struggled for years with having to go the bathroom extremely frequently, and it's been especially bad the past couple months. I kid you not that at least once per day, have to pee around every 15 minutes, sometimes even less than that. I think the term for this is OAB (overactive bladder). Having to constantly pee has been interrupting my sleep (making me groggy the next day) and distracts me from my work as I keep having to get up, go to the bathroom, pee, return. This factor makes diapers even more tempting... but I feel like I'm using minor incontinence issues as an excuse to let me wear the diapers I love rather than me actually needing them.

So you can see the mix of factors in my head. In a world that was completely socially accepting, I would wear diapers 24/7. And I would probably train myself to need my diapers at least for #1 as I love diapers and it also would help with my OAB issues. But I get scared that if I do start wearing diapers all the time, it could affect my career down the road once I start teaching (either at the secondary or college level). If I am incontinent, it would okay for me to wear diapers at my work, and people likely wouldn't know anyways because I'd be discrete about it. Still, if people did find out, they might question if I'm really incontinent or not. And am I really incontinent if I made myself that way? ?? I'm curious if any of yall have any thoughts. I know wanting to be incontinent is so bizarre, but my brain is a weird place that wants weird things ?

From reading this and other posts, you are seeking a reason to wear and use diapers and SAS... and have identified that either or both might affect your choosen career path.

Simply, anything you choose to do will effect you future life and career path. Discretion is advised. If a doctor confirms that you have a need for diapers based on your own experience of OAB, then wearing associated protection should not be an issue... however without that confirmation, then protection could cause you problems.

I sincerely doubt, other from a limited few, whether the SAS would cause issues, but connected with non-diagnosed bladder issue would be almost too much for most to be able to understand / accept.

Seek medical advice re. OAB history.

[kittengirl173]

On 12/11/2022 at 3:23 PM, babykeiff said:

From reading this and other posts, you are seeking a reason to wear and use diapers and SAS... and have identified that either or both might affect your choosen career path.

Simply, anything you choose to do will effect you future life and career path. Discretion is advised. If a doctor confirms that you have a need for diapers based on your own experience of OAB, then wearing associated protection should not be an issue... however without that confirmation, then protection could cause you problems.

I sincerely doubt, other from a limited few, whether the SAS would cause issues, but connected with non-diagnosed bladder issue would be almost too much for most to be able to understand / accept.

Seek medical advice re. OAB history.

What does SAS mean?

[babykeiff]

11 hours ago, kittengirl173 said:

What does SAS mean?

Sorry @kittengirl173, that was a typo. I meant to say SRS in relation to Sexual Reasignment Surgery

[Diaper Duck]

I feel the same way, as I got older and found other people who like diapers like me I wanted to be Incontinent. The guilt I feel is mostly how will my family look at me and if I stay the night at my parents one night will they allow me to wear diapers there. Alot of things are going through my head when I put on that diaper.

[NightWitch]

I totally understand all these feelings. I’ve wanted to become a bed wetter for years. After some medical issues I have found myself with a very overactive bladder. Instead of trying to remain in control I decided to give in. For about 7 months now I’ve been going just about 24/7 with either pull-ups or diapers. There are some days I don’t even try to make it to the bathroom, just wetting myself all day. Days like that often feel amazing, not trying to hold my urine at all feels..right in a way. But I feel a lot of guilt sometimes too. Like I shouldn’t be enjoying this. Thankfully I have a supportive partner. Thats definitely helpful. I say if you really want it, go for it! There are plenty of incontinent people in those types of positions you mentioned wanting. The only person who will know that you’re wearing diapers by choice is you. As I’ve been told, most people don’t even notice you’re diapered at all if you don’t make it obvious.