Diapers and Sex

[Little Sherri]

I have a question that I imagine has as many answers as there are people on this site, but I am curious, so I thought I'd put it out there: For you folks who wear diapers most or all of the time (either because you want to, or because you have to, or both) or, for you folks who are in relationships with folks who wear diapers, what does "non-diaper-focused sex" look like? By which I mean, sex where the presence of diapers in incidental, rather than the intention. Does it sometimes happen spontaneously, or is there always a preamble, some advance planning to allow for a shower first, or at least a diaper change? Or is being in a diaper by necessity part of the experience now, IE, part of the turn-on is always contending with your (or their) juvenile underpants? Or is taking off your diaper like taking off your socks, just a practicality, and not part of "the event"? 

My spouse has had waning libidinal urges for years now, due to menopause, medical issues that can make sex painful, and, the fact that she never really had a strong sex drive in the first place. So, my having put myself back in diapers almost three years ago, while it undoubtedly hasn't helped, hasn't, in my estimation, been entirely responsible for the continuation of a trend that started well before my plastic underpants were in the picture, either. Boudoir activities have been vanishingly infrequent of late, and never spontaneous, but the other day we were watching a TV show with a hot and heavy love scene in it, which made me wonder... is bedroom spontaneity possible for us anymore? If we start cuddling, could it one day culminate in her reaching for one of my diaper tabs? Or would I need to dash off and take a shower? Could the smell of baby powder-scented diaper cream hover over such a scene, or is that an asphyxiant to latent stirrings for her?

In addition to wondering if she can get past my diaper, procedurally as well as mentally, I also wonder if I can get past it. While we haven't had a lot of "athletic" bedroom encounters over the past few years, we still cuddle from time to time, and of course, these days, I always have a diaper on, and often, only a diaper (below the waist), in the evening hours. And when we cuddle, I never fail to consider, and sometimes delight in, at least briefly, the reality of being in a diaper, although I don't say anything about it to her. Whispering "Do I look cute in my diaper?" would, I imagine, have the same effect on the moment as a bucket of ice water. But if we're having a rare, tame moment of closeness, at some point I always become aware of my diaper's crinkly presence, or the bulk of it, or I start to worry that it has a bit of a scent or that she'll somehow feel that it's wet if it's in contact with her, or if her hand drifts over it. 

I have no idea what I would do if I ever got the impression that we were possibly hurtling towards something beyond holding each other closely. Or, for that matter, if I ever found myself in the dating world again (perish the thought), and in a similar situation. Would I just go with it, and see what happens? Or risk interrupting the moment, in order to take the diaper off and get in a quick equipment rinse? What's the situational etiquette? What do pro-level diapernauts do? 

 

[rusty pins]

Take the sex part out for a moment.  It seems per your post that you are always wearing diapers, most likely for need.  How does your wife react to you being in diapers?  You also say, "these days, I always have a diaper on, and often, only a diaper (below the waist), in the evening hours".  That leads me to believe after dinner while watching TV or whatever, you are sitting in your easy chair or walking around the house in a shirt and just a diaper.  What is your wife's reaction to you when you are walking around the house in just a shirt and very visible diaper, especially if she can see it's obviously wet?  If she likes it and makes positive comments, you could be half way home in the sex department.  That doesn't necessarily mean it's not a turn off for her when sex is suggested.  I think many women marry a handsome hunky man who they think of as a real man and protector.  The image of that man wearing a diaper could be a sexual turn off.  On the other hand, It could mean if she enjoys seeing you in a diaper around the house, it could be a turn on for her.  If she is indifferent or just tolerant of you wearing diapers, that could carry over into your sexual life.  It sounds like you don't have much of a sex life with intercourse as it is.  I'd say either you wearing diapers is a turn on for her, she is bothered by the fact you wear them and doesn't like seeing you in them (which would be a turn off sexually) or she is indifferent of just tolerant to your wearing diapers which could also be a turn off sexually.  Only you know how she feels about you in diapers and what she feels as she watches you walk around the house in just a shirt and your diaper.  Maybe you should have a talk with her about how she feels seeing you in diapers and what she thinks of your relationship because of your diapers, both socially and sexually.

[BedWetMark]

It's a great question @Little Sherri, generally it doesn't happen much these days, probably a mixture of busy lifestyles and waning desires as we approach mid-40s with so much going on.  But when it does happen, it's normally spontaneous and during the day time, if I haven't disrobed already I get a "take everything off" command. So yes for me, removing a nappy is like removing a sock or any other underwear.  Many years ago I did try to bring the nappy into play but got shot down.  It doesn't work for her so I don't force the issue, I'm appreciative that my "at home" underwear choice is tolerated outside of night time! 

[ValentinesStuff]

Only the two of you can answer this question. My advice is to talk to her about your questions. Of course I am an asexual, aromantic virgin; so what do I know?

[Dartplayerinwvc]

Since I have MS and wear diapers nearly 24-7, My answer is this:

When wearing was a fun DL thing, we did have sex with me wearing 50-60% of the time. I just "put on the larger than usual diaper size" and would have it loose so I can take it out and get going. But now that I am wearing 24-7 - its about the same, although MS isn't helping with the erection thing. Just easier to have a larger diaper on, loose and after the fact tuck it back and and go to sleep.

[Little Sherri]

Thanks everyone for your responses - this is interesting. 

15 hours ago, BedWetMark said:

generally it doesn't happen much these days, probably a mixture of busy lifestyles and waning desires as we approach mid-40s with so much going on. 

This is definitely the case for us. After we had kids and started a business, we found ourselves so busy that we became essentially friends who shared a bedroom, a lot of the time. And then she developed medical issues that made sex less interesting or attractive to her. And then I started wearing diapers. Here we are. 

 

15 hours ago, rusty pins said:

That leads me to believe after dinner while watching TV or whatever, you are sitting in your easy chair or walking around the house in a shirt and just a diaper. 

I should clarify that it's only after the kids go to bed that I walk around in just a diaper (and some kind of shirt). Usually, it's from 10 PM or so, until we turn the lights out at 11:30 or midnight, and usually just in our room. My wife likes to wind down and watch TV for an hour or two, and sometimes I watch what she watches, and sometimes I read a book or watch something on my iPad. I've never really asked her what she thinks of seeing me in a diaper; I've kind of been afraid of the answer. She's tolerant enough, but I know that she's not "into this" at all, it's not a turn-on for her, so I fall back on the advice that one should not ask questions they don't want the answer to...

[oznl]

On 3/16/2022 at 3:42 AM, Little Sherri said:

I have a question that I imagine has as many answers as there are people on this site, but I am curious, so I thought I'd put it out there: For you folks who wear diapers most or all of the time (either because you want to, or because you have to, or both) or, for you folks who are in relationships with folks who wear diapers, what does "non-diaper-focused sex" look like? By which I mean, sex where the presence of diapers in incidental, rather than the intention. Does it sometimes happen spontaneously, or is there always a preamble, some advance planning to allow for a shower first, or at least a diaper change? Or is being in a diaper by necessity part of the experience now, IE, part of the turn-on is always contending with your (or their) juvenile underpants? Or is taking off your diaper like taking off your socks, just a practicality, and not part of "the event"?

 

The cold, hard brutal truth here is that our sex life withered and died as might any pot plant watered exclusively with pee a year or two into “24/7”.  I’d like to take some solace that her appetite appeared to more or less vanish along with menopause so I may not be entirely to blame.  Regardless, I know that whatever the exact opposite of an aphrodisiac is for my beloved, diapers are that.  Any relations we had occurred in spite of my nappies, not because of them.

When it was still a thing, a couple of times (usually on a weekend morning), I would remove them and rinse quickly in the shower at her request but that stopped.  She just stopped making any kind of moves and I didn’t push it.

We’d once, briefly, nearly discussed this.  I’d pointed out that she never asked for what she wanted and she somewhat ruefully conceded that point.  Then the menopause bus ran over her and so nothing was done.

For my part, another cold, hard, brutal truth is that things don’t work down there very well anymore and I suspect long term nappy use has something to do with this.   It seems that the atrophy that occurs with abandoning continence has some “other” strange side effects.

I’ve been surprised at how little I miss sex.  I’m almost relieved it’s gone to be honest.  It would be interesting to see if my interest came back if I thought she didn't despise the fact I was in nappies but I'll probably never know.

[Moochie]

What I noticed most about your post was the emphasis on your diapers. You might want to open up the conversation to how you can help her enjoy intimacy. Sex does not have to involve intercourse. Ask her what you can do to help her enjoy her body and facilitate an orgasm. Her decreased libido, while at least partially related to menopause might also be symptomatic of emotional estrangement in the marriage. Sexual intimacy is between the ears not between the legs.

[feralfreak]

3 hours ago, Moochie said:

What I noticed most about your post was the emphasis on your diapers. You might want to open up the conversation to how you can help her enjoy intimacy. Sex does not have to involve intercourse. Ask her what you can do to help her enjoy her body and facilitate an orgasm. Her decreased libido, while at least partially related to menopause might also be symptomatic of emotional estrangement in the marriage. Sexual intimacy is between the ears not between the legs.

do you mean,,,, giving her pleasure down there without expecting the ol' horizontal boogie?

[IminWetPampers]

My wife/mommy will frequently put her hand inside my diaper and play with me while I am peeing in my diaper and that invariably leads to sex. She gets me going and the diaper comes off and when we’re done she will re-diaper me. 

[docein]

I was already 24/7 when i started my second marriage, so she knew what she was getting into.  The desire to have sex has gone down over the past several years do to my other medical issues and getting older. That being said, i have always worn a diaper during sex, when i am ready to actually stick it in, I will pull the diaper down just under my balls. Since i  am also bowel incontinent too, some times i will lose bowel control during an orgasm, which is the reason i keep them on.  After sex, is clean up and then to bed. 

[Whiteplastic]

Well, see, this isn't a problem for us and we're both in our fifties.

I take care of her with my hands and mouth, and afterwards she takes care of me, either with her hands or her mouth, leaving both of my hands free to play with my diaper, hold her etc. 

We decided early on in our marriage, 22 years ago, that neither of us enjoyed vanilla sex very much.  And so we split it into two back-to-back sessions: first her, then me.  It has worked out really well.  If I can give any advice, it would be this: take care of your spouse first and it is axiomatic that (s)he will care for you in the same way.  We may not have had penetrative sex for over two decades, but we make love two or three times a week with all desires completely fulfilled.

 

[2sail2]

On 3/15/2022 at 1:42 PM, Little Sherri said:

 

 

MY wife is six or so years older.   

It is spontaneous.  Sometimes, I will have pull up on and usually shorts and she will grab me down there.  I may or may not allow it to continue.  I may also dance a little and show my waistband and or drop my shorts. I get very positive reaction from it.  The primary reason to not continue is that I am afraid I won't be able to have a happy ending as I pleasure myself a lot and need a several day break.   This is a pretty rare occasion that I will get a grab.  The key is that she doesn't seem to get much pleasure out of it (asked several times how she likes it, though panty rubbing seems good, but never goes very far) and is somewhat difficult for me to do all the work.  I will eventually push the  pull up down lower and/or off.  Her legs are not very strong such that strength and stamina get in the way.  For doggy style, the height of the bed and body (vag) seems to be a problem even though I am kind of tall.   I have stand on my toes to reach it.   Unfortunately, I just get more pleasure coming in my pull up.

We just don't sleep well at night, so whatever activity on weekends ends with a nap.  Sometimes we cuddle at night.  But either one of us can fall asleep before anything else happens, which never does anymore.  Sundays used to be the fun day, though now she grocery shops.

Yes, I do wear just a pull up and a t-shirt around the house, though just in the mornings.   When we are getting ready, I will often dance--rubbing my stomach and pull up--in the bathroom to some music (we have an echo in the bathroom).  Every time there is mention of getting money "in the money belt" (I used to wear undergarments, they were called g-strings).    

As I don't wear for need, I  get some strange looks and questions about every 5 years why I wear during the day.  She majored in pysch in college, so she must know something is up or down. On European vacations, I wear all the time as I get the urge to go a lot and underwear seems to calm the bladder, though one time I thought it was going to explode.  My first trip with her, I did not take anything and we ended up going to drug store to get undergarments.  Nothing was ever said about that.  I claim to need at night.  One time I was bending over to open the garage door to go shopping and heard "your Depends waistband is showing".  ok, let's announce Depends to the world LOL. 

I think my dancing and music has helped diffuse the situation.  I knew before getting married I had to say I wear them night, but kind of left it at that.  She cried and that was end of discussion and pretty much married bliss since then.  And now for the next dance number...

 

 

[fixitboy]

Married over 22 years about 50 years of age. Wife supported my diaper feddis from day one of our marrage I even got her support and encouragement after I confess my secret fixation on becoming a bedwetter. That night she order a case of quilty diapers and I have never been to bed without diapers on again.  She fully encouraged me to not hold back on becoming a bed wetter. Even rewarded me in the morning or denied me of I wasn't wet enough in the morning.  She never let me cheat either. When a  vacation came up I would say it's a hassal to bring diapers and she would remind me that as of that fatfull day when I said I wanted to be a bed wetter I became her bed wetting husband that and bed wetter doesn't just turn it off.  About 5 years agaio we discovered that my return to bedwetting has been a compleat success this was after I fell asleep in the car and fully wet myself a couple more test confirmed it.  Today I need diapers.. it turns out my wife had an motive in her support of my bed wetting.   she confessed that she loves that I'm a bedwetter as it makes me less attractive to other woman.... She loves the felling of superiority she get when she orders diapers for me. The more babyish the better she all way loved seeing my diapers stick out the crinkle when I walk by.  I'm her boy and knows 99% of other woman would want nouthing to do with a man who still in diapers.  Most would be disgusted by the thought of a sexual incounter with a man who still in diapers. This is why she was so excited when I confused my desirer to become a true bedwetter.  Which I have to admit would have never happened without her. I also have to admit she is compleat right I like being her diaper boy.... The day I relized I no longer wanted to be diapered as from that point on i needed to be  diapers...on our 20th anniversary I gave her earings. She gave me footed PJs I treat her like a woman and she treats me like a boy...

. It works for us

 .  Ow yea forgot to menchen.  Yes She will dive right in pull down my wet diaper and stick it right in her

 

 

[~Brian~]

Sex is incredible sometimes: sometimes it is not: however, sex does not need to be something that is totally blah:  it all depends on how it is done, and sometimes the best way to help you is the holding, the touching, the intimacy, the atmosphere, and maybe the smells of the surroundings and the person that you're with.

What I mean by this is: we all know that guys put or at least some of us do, Cologne on or aftershave when we go somewhere when we get up in the morning, and we go to work. Women will do the same thing and they will put perfume on along with all of their mascara and all that good stuff. If a guy and a girl meet each other, in a public place, and they start talking, sometimes a guy can be set off because of the perfume or the smell, I've had that happen to me. One day I was in school, and everything was fine and then, I don't know where I walk through a hallway with a bunch of girls. One of the girls had some sort of lotion or perfume on, and it set me off.When I got home, I had to take a shower, because I was so excited I couldn't believe it. Just walking through the hallway and smelling something like that and I was stiff as a board and straight up!

as I said, you don't really have to have the physical sex act: that can happen, but I can tell you that if you're with your partner, and your partner can help you relax and just be intimate by touching hugging kissing and all that stuff, that is really awesome, and the right woman could put you right into orbit, or calm you right down to the point that you're almost asleep. I had a friend that I spent some time with in Florida a few years ago at least 20 Connor and I was really really tight because of my CP. She said that she could give me a massage and it would help me relax. I was skeptical, but I let her do it. She started at the tip tip of my head, and went all the way down my body. Giving my body a wonderful massage, and at the end, I was a lump of drooling individual. My friend had the skill to be able to totally go from head to toe and totally relax me so that I was sleeping like a baby in less than 15 minutes. No one that I know of other than her would be successful in doing this, unless they had the skill to be able to do exactly what it was that happened.

Yes, sex can be fun, and the physical act of doing it could be the pinnacle, because it may take you a while to be able to enjoy it, but if somebody knows exactly how to help you relax and prepare, the right touch or the right words or the right environment will put you right where you wanna be, and a touch from your partner can also make you feel real special. I don't know how else to say that, but let's just say that if the right lady in my case, where to help me relax, I guarantee I probably would be in heaven. My problem is, I get so tight that it is ridiculous, and sometimes it isn't my fault, but the last time I had somebody that was able to relax me like that, it put me right out at the end. Felt so good that it was incredible. It hurt for a few minutes, but it felt good.

So as other people have stated sex does not have to be something that is just the physical act. In my opinion, the fun part is when you are together you're talking and you're doing things with him or her. Your partner ends up talking to you, you have a nice dinner or have awesome sounding music, and you set the stage, and when the time comes, you end up helping your partner to totally relax. You don't necessarily have to do the act, but sometimes just preparing to do it will help you relax, because you will release stress.

In my mind diapers do the same thing: you put a diaper on and you are expecting that you're going to either wear it and use it or wear it. It might give you the set off that you need, just like when you're in the right mood and all of your sensors turn on and you are super sensitive. Diapers allow you to fully release anything that you're holding back, because it is designed to do that. When someone actually helps you relax, they are helping you release something that you are holding back, and once it is out, it feels real good comma and if your partner knows exactly what they're doing comma it can be

Brian

[feralfreak]

6 hours ago, fixitboy said:

Married over 22 years about 50 years of age. Wife supported my diaper feddis from day one of our marrage I even got her support and encouragement after I confess my secret fixation on becoming a bedwetter. That night she order a case of quilty diapers and I have never been to bed without diapers on again.  She fully encouraged me to not hold back on becoming a bed wetter. Even rewarded me in the morning or denied me of I wasn't wet enough in the morning.  She never let me cheat either. When a  vacation came up I would say it's a hassal to bring diapers and she would remind me that as of that fatfull day when I said I wanted to be a bed wetter I became her bed wetting husband that and bed wetter doesn't just turn it off.  About 5 years agaio we discovered that my return to bedwetting has been a compleat success this was after I fell asleep in the car and fully wet myself a couple more test confirmed it.  Today I need diapers.. it turns out my wife had an motive in her support of my bed wetting.   she confessed that she loves that I'm a bedwetter as it makes me less attractive to other woman.... She loves the felling of superiority she get when she orders diapers for me. The more babyish the better she all way loved seeing my diapers stick out the crinkle when I walk by.  I'm her boy and knows 99% of other woman would want nouthing to do with a man who still in diapers.  Most would be disgusted by the thought of a sexual incounter with a man who still in diapers. This is why she was so excited when I confused my desirer to become a true bedwetter.  Which I have to admit would have never happened without her. I also have to admit she is compleat right I like being her diaper boy.... The day I relized I no longer wanted to be diapered as from that point on i needed to be  diapers...on our 20th anniversary I gave her earings. She gave me footed PJs I treat her like a woman and she treats me like a boy...

. It works for us

 .  Ow yea forgot to menchen.  Yes She will dive right in pull down my wet diaper and stick it right in her

 

 

i MUST install cameras in your house, hey you both can work me spiderman and me and his wife, i hope she is good with rubber chickens.

[fixitboy]

Nope vbim her diaper boy.  

[feralfreak]

44 minutes ago, fixitboy said:

Nope vbim her diaper boy.  

vbim?