Spending too much time here

[Bel George]

Hi fellow diaper friends,

It is getting difficult to do my job properly.  I just can't seem to stop my poking around here (and other ABDL websites) when I really need to be able to concentrate on my work.
Who has tips for finding a healthy balance between work and ABDL?

There are a few things that do not help:
- I have an office where I am usually alone and I can wear and use diapers without any problems.  The risk of being caught is virtually non-existent.
- at home I have a wife who does not like those diapers, and children who do not know about them, so at home I am limited in the possibilities to give in to my curiosity.

At the end of the month I do notice that I have (again) worked much less than I could and should have.
And, as a self-employed person, I also lose a lot of income this way.

What suggestions can you give to better distribute my time (= work more and read fewer stories and messages)?

Thanks in advance for all the tips.

[Firefly 35]

My best advice would be to set a timer for however long you think is reasonable and when it goes off, go back to doing work things.  Something like a 30 minute session for abdl stuff twice a day might provide a better balance between work and fun stuff.

[Little Sherri]

Hi, @Bel George; I have to say that I sympathize with your plight. I work from home all the time right now, but pre-Covid, I was home about 60% of the time and with clients the other 40. I've been 24/7 for just under two years now, and, on top of that, we recently moved to a house where my office is on top of the garage, so most of the time I can, if I want to, work in just a diaper and a shirt (so that I look professional for the camera). My wife isn't enthusiastic but is accepting, and my kids don't know, and I don't intend them to know, so when they're home, I'm more discrete. But on a typical day when they're in school, I can wear whatever I want while I work, and I can surf at will. 

I too have struggled with what you describe. I have definitely whiled away good chunks of time on this site, although I don't really know of any others. This may be like one addict asking another addict where they get their stuff, but, what other sites are out there that are worth looking at? The only other one I ever checked into was Fetlife, but I found it indecipherable. Learned a lot about midget nooseplay, though. But it also took me about a year between finding this site and posting anything. I wade in cautiously. 

But back to the topic at hand - self control. One thing I have done is spent a lot less time in the chat than I used to. I used to open it almost every day, and sometimes sit in it for most of the afternoon, trying to get work one with one eye and keep up with the conversation with the other eye. However, I find that I get stressed when I have to ignore something, in order to work, while I have the feeling that someone is waiting for a response, which is the nature of a live chat, whereas, if I'm reading articles or blog posts or stories or updates on this and that, I can come back to it as I have time to, without the feeling that I've left anyone hanging or been impolite. Which is why I tend not to go into the chat if I'm at all busy. 

The nature of my work is somewhat intermittent, which also helps, because I can pick and choose my times. I get deluged with work sometimes, things that need attention right away, but then there will be a stretch where I am waiting for responses back from people, and, while I could probably make better use of my time in those moments, I find that I can take a few minutes to read or comment on something here, without disappearing down a black hole. 

I actually think that going 24/7 has helped me with this, because I used to be obsessive about carving out "diaper time", to the point of planning vacations so that my family would be away a couple of days longer than I was, "because of work", just so that I could get a couple of days here and there to myself. And, back when I didn't have as much freedom, if an opportunity came up to do some reading here (I didn't really contribute much back then), I would make that my number one priority. Whereas now, because I'm in diapers all the time, and I have the freedom to drop in here whenever I choose, it's not a big deal if I'm not on the site for a few hours, in order to make some money, or, to spend some time with the family, or watch TV with my wife, or whatever. 

Finding a balance is key. I love drinking craft beer, but if I did it all the time, eventually, the repercussions would probably cut into my ability to drink craft beer. So it is with this site. If I blow too much time here, I'll end up looking for a new job, and that new job probably won't provide me with nearly the freedom that my current job does. And, I get to be in diapers all the time, so, sometimes it's worth putting off gratification for a bit, in order to do what needs to be done. 

[Bel George]

Hi @Little Sherri,  Thanks for answering.

It seems like your situation is very similar to mine.  

Other sites than this one (this one is where I spend most of my online time)?  Probably known by most users here: adisc, youtube, abkingdom (I read and speak french since that is the 2nd languague here in Belgium), abdlz (dutch), omoorg, tumblr, amazon (kindle ebooks), ... and then all thoses sites that sell diapers and so.  

I have never been in an ABDL chat, and I'm trying to keep away from it, for the reasons that you describe.

I have considered to go "24/7", and I guess, since being in a diaper would be an all-the-time thing, that I would spend less time thinking about it than I do right now.  However, my wife would never agree.  She has accepted that this is something I need to be able to do, from time to time, but she has a hard time when confronted with it.  So, as long as I don't wear diapers around her or the children (3 teenagers), she accepts it.  She knows I wear diapers when working (in my office), and I do my best to keep everything hidden.

Maybe I will recruit an employee in the near future. At that point, of course, I won't be so free to wear diapers at the office. But it would certainly help to focus more on work.

And in the meantime I will try to find a better balance.

@Firefly 35, I try this daily, but 30 minutes becomes an hour, then 2 hours. I keep trying again, and failing, to display that self-discipline.

[~Brian~]

@Bel George@Little Sherri@Firefly 35

I TRY to set a schedule where I work at LEAST one day a week on Store Related Stuff, as I run a Thrift Store in Montpelier VT for the Trinity United Methodist Church.  When I do that, two things go into making that decision.

ONE:  Does what i do require me to complete documents or other paperwork, and do I have the necessary things here at home to complete the job?  If I DO have what I need, I TRY to complete the task at home, and at least have it saved for later.  If I need to print it, I do that.    I check email, DD, and other sites BEFORE I start my work, and I do email and whatever task I need to do BEFORE the next check, so that by 1-2PM EST, I am DONE for the day, and I can do what I want in the afternoon, similar to what @Evelyn Dellcerro does:  She goes IN to her office BEFORE me, and comes home BEFORE me, so I like to do as much as I can in the MORNING, before the day gets rolling:  It is AMAZING what you can do in the quiet of your apartment or your office, when you don't have a lot of RACKET/NOISE to deal with. 

If I DON'T have what I want or need to complete the job, I then go to Number TWO

TWO:  If I DO have to go into my office, I always PLAN it to a "T" - I would rather spend an 8-hour day in my office, if I want to be available to the Pastor, Office Administrator, Trustees, or Finance Directors.  I also assist with things relating to donations or my staff, and coordinate time for me to meet with the Church Treasurer, because I have monthly Store Expenses, I have to complete "Check Request Documents" for, and I complete these, put them in my "unpaid bills folder" and then when I get the checks, I can deposit these in the Treasurer's box.  I have been known to go into my office, leaving from the local stop at 5:55AM, and I don't get done til 6:30PM, and home by 7PM some nights.......I try to make sure I am out earlier if I can, and sometimes, I am home by 3PM, but if I run til 4PM, I get home by 6PM.  A run to the office is a planned event, and now, due to COVID-19, I ONLY go there if I NEED to, upon Request, or when we have paperwork to do, so I don't have to waste a trip.

If I have to go to the office, I add these things to the "getting ready cycle:"

1.  I SCHEDULE a Door to Door Bus Trip at LEAST 48 hours before I want to run - I also have to call them the DAY before I ride, because I need to answer the "Covid-19 Screening Questions" and if I DON'T do that, I can't ride.  Assuming that we are set, they schedule, and the company "auto-calls" me, and tells me the times:  One for pick up, one for Arrival for the IN BOUND, and The RETURN times for the OUT BOUND Trip.  Usually works like smooth glass

2.  I always check to see if I need to anything PRIOR to leaving the house.  If I do, I get up EARLY, before I need to go to work, sometimes at 4:30AM, or so, because I want to be able to make sure that I have all of my stuff together.  That way, all I do is shower, dress, and ROLL because everything ELSE is ready to go.

3.  I make sure I have: Keys, Gloves (winter gear), Hat, Glasses with Yellow Polarized Lenses on,  IPhone, Applewatch, Ipad, Earbuds, Computer and Sticks.

I set up my desk so that I can use it to its fullest, and I do have the Phone, Charger and 10W Plugs, Ipad, and computer ready, and I complete tasks while I am there.  I don't check anything other than my email or messages on facebook, as I maintain 4 domains, and my store Facebook Page and my phone usually have requests and I work to integrate things if I can.  I am always looking for ways to improve what we do, but I have to remember to not exceed what I am able to complete:  I work HARD, and I am PROUD of what we do, and being at Trinity helps me clear my head:  There are times, I go all the way to the sanctuary on the TOP floor, roll up to the front, and bow my head, because as the Pastor says "Jesus is the Reason", and he provides me the wisdom and strength to face challenges - I have had many of them, and have BEATEN many of them, because of my faith - I have a lot of skills, and I can NOW use them to help people, as I have always done.

When I have problems, I always look for guidance:  I feel that I have found my calling, but there are times when I question myself:  I have to remember that I am here for a reason, and I have been given my talents for a reason:  How I use them is up to me, and how long I can continue to grace you with my presence is up to HIM, but I DON'T give up, I DON'T take "NO" for an answer, and there is ALWAYS a way to the means.  The Pastor also told me "God WILL answer your prayers, but he may NOT answer them right away, or answer them in the way(s) you think he should, but God WILL answer you."

While at work, I may check my websites, amazon, or do research, check and respond to email on my domain, or store email, or watch the streaming services or listen to music while working, and if I have to step away from my screen, I LOCK it, so someone isn't snooping intro my business while I am away from the desk.  I come HOME and then, I can check DD, or postings or do whatever I want, but I don't play on DD or other forum sites while at work, because I could be monitored, or the internet could be flaky, and we have had problems, but we did upgrade the speed so its 200MG Down/20 MG Up, because there were WAAAY to many times when 3 people upstairs in the office would LOWER the internet speed, and we have people using our  wireless connections/externders.

By the time I get home, its close to 7PM, and I want to relax:  That is why I PUSH so hard:  One day, I won't be able to do it anymore, and I want to be able to say "I gave of myself for the benefit of others, and I've done my best:  I served my community like my relatives and friends served their county, and I am proud of that service.  God Gives me the ability to do it, and the STRENGTH and guidance to do it, and God Willing, I will do it as long as I can."

So, as you can see, I am busy, and I like to be, and when there, I use my time to the fullest extent possible:  I can always come home to DD when I return

Brian

 

 

 

Edited February 27, 2021 by ~Brian~
Added Additional Information

[~Brian~]

16 hours ago, Bel George said:

Hi @Little Sherri,  Thanks for answering.

It seems like your situation is very similar to mine.  

Other sites than this one (this one is where I spend most of my online time)?  Probably known by most users here: adisc, youtube, abkingdom (I read and speak french since that is the 2nd languague here in Belgium), abdlz (dutch), omoorg, tumblr, amazon (kindle ebooks), ... and then all thoses sites that sell diapers and so.  

I have never been in an ABDL chat, and I'm trying to keep away from it, for the reasons that you describe.

I have considered to go "24/7", and I guess, since being in a diaper would be an all-the-time thing, that I would spend less time thinking about it than I do right now.  However, my wife would never agree.  She has accepted that this is something I need to be able to do, from time to time, but she has a hard time when confronted with it.  So, as long as I don't wear diapers around her or the children (3 teenagers), she accepts it.  She knows I wear diapers when working (in my office), and I do my best to keep everything hidden.

 

@Bel George

What you have to do to "balance" something with something else.  I remember when I used to work, and then come home, play on the computers, then eat and sleep.  Then COVID hit in March of 2020 - When it hit, I lost services for a while, and I was on DD all DAY for weeks, because I wanted to "escape" all the negative conspiracy theories, and thanks to @Elfy, he made this place BETTER, because he and the "Admin Team" would NOT allow all the garbage to be posted here.  I made lots of friends, learned a LOT about myself and WHAT I was dealing with, and WHY I was feeling the way I was:  I met friends like @Evelyn Dellcerro@Transfusionelle@AwakenEvil@Elfy@spoonchicken @~ashley~ @Emily Ruby Rose  @DailyDi and others, and I started chatting:  They WERE just names to me at one point, but NOW they are FRIENDS that I trust and that I RESPECT. ***HUG***

I was online a lot, and I usually am anyway, but when COVID hit, my SLEEP schedule was "Upside Down" because I would get UP at NOON, and be UP when people like @Evelyn Dellcerrowould go to work at 4AM - so I slept from 5AM to noon, and then be UP from NOON to 5AM. 

People would tell me "why the heck don't you get UP in the morning?"  I would say "There is NOTHING to do, no one visits me, No services (except the Home Delivery of HOT meals and meds and incontinence supplies) and nothing to look forward to, because everyone is sick, and everything is shut down, so there's NOTHING I can do, so why not play all night, and sleep all day."

Chat is not bad:  It is a little wild sometimes, but there are admins and mods that keep a pretty good handle on things, and there are a lot of good people there.  The time it gets "bad" is when you have no self control, and you just sit there for hours, and zone out.  It would be like someone getting a HUGE pizza, or as @~ashley~would say "CUPCAKES" and you BINGE eat all of them, and then you got a tummy ache:  You LOVE pizza, and you can't HELP but eat it, and you LOVE those cupcakes:  The consequence you suffer is a tummy ache or maybe even a messy diaper to change, but its all about control!

Going 24/7:  In May, June, and July of 2019, I was having accidents, and problems with Diverticulitis, IBS, and incontinence.  I would "miss" the warnings, and NOT make it to the toilet, and I would get NO TIME to even think about the action, where I have to get UP outta the chair, and go into the bathroom and use it, and there were several times, where I would WET or MESS with NO WARNING at all: and I had accidents at night as well.  Having Cerebral Palsy, and having limited mobility, I had to make a CHOICE:  and my CHOICE was made in August of 2019, when I swallowed my pride and asked the doctor for diapers:  I am NOT gonna let my disability stop me from being the man I wanna be, and so, in 2020, I made the decision to go 24/7 in diapers - I made the choice for my sanity, safety, emotional health, and over all health and well being, and i DON'T REGRET IT - I want to enjoy life, and NOT worry about what will happen - If I have to wear for the rest of my life, I accept it, and there may be a time, when you feel that you may want to do the same thing, so I am glad that your wife accepts that you wear, but hopefully, she won't have a problem if you have to wear for obvious reasons, if you decide you need to deal with possible incontinence using diapers as the solution.

Just take it easy, and Don't overdo:  set limits, and try to stick to them, and you should be OK

Good Luck!

Brian

Edited February 27, 2021 by ~Brian~
Added Additional Information

[AwakenEvil]

You have to know how to divide your time between work and life so neither get you into a spot you will regret.

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I spend a lot of time here only because I really have nothing to do the hours I am home. Mon - Fri I work from 4:30 AM to 2 PM. I get home average 3 PM. I was never much of a big sleeper. If I sleep 3 hours when I get home and 2 hours later in the evening I am good. I get on here to pass the time. I am married and my partner also works. Her hours are from 11 PM until 6 AM Sun - Thurs. We have entire weekends off together where we can cuddle talk read and watch TV together. Yes and we have sex also. I know people are under the misconception that we have sex all week and thats all we do, sorry to burst your bubble, but we are human too.

I also have hobbies as does my wife and we support each other as much as any couple can. I am and have been into Ameteur Radio since I was 8 years old, My fathers hobby and mine. My partner loves working on engines and working with cars and trucks and makes a pretty good buck on the side. @Bel Georgeyou say you have a wife that does not agree with your diapers which is very sad. I went through that for 25 years so I know exactly how you feel there. My husband found diapers repulsive, but he adored me and turned a blind eye.

The good thing for me was that my husband was a career military man. He was gone for months at a time so diapers kept me company and kept me sane. Even though my husband was not into diapers we shared a love for each other that was unimaginable and inconceivable. We went out and had fun when he had his 30 days of leave. Right now with this virus going its not easy to really do things outside the house. Hobbies are great, reading is fun and concentrating on work you have to do more of. Its not easy but you have to limit yourself times to be on this site. Spring and summer are right around the corner and yard sales and country drives with the wife might help to soothe things down. You have children which is a blessng in disguise.

Picnics and cookouts and pool time comes and goes. You can do many things at home like cooking and baking, I am sure if you keep the wife happy the liberties can be rewarding. It all depends on you sweetie, the ball is in your court. If ever you want to chat drop me a message, I promise to answer messages because I get plenty. I would say go to the chatroom, but then you would be spending more time here. One thing I can say is let your wife read forums here and let her get a taste of how many people feel. Let her read the good and the bad. How diapers have ruined and saved many peoples lives. For people to hate a piece of plastic with padding, there has to be a lot more. Love and peace and get to work sweetie.

[rusty pins]

I've always said I balance my life between diapers and a normal life.  I don't let the fetish control me.  I also know that there have been a few times when working alone on my job where I might have been a little tempted to check out the site, or even an on line medical site that sells adult diapers.  I know two things that remain with me even from my old job in the late 1990's.  Every key stroke I made was recorded (everyone in the company) and IT always has the ability to take over a computer remotely if you have a problem, even more so as technology gets better.  That means if your computer freezes while you have DailyDiapers or any other AB/DL site up, you will be calling IT who will be looking at whatever you have on your computer at the time!

Also you know about all the cookies.  I can be at home on my computer pulling up my email and get all kinds of pop ups for adult diapers.  Even on EBAY and other legitimate sites including Amazon I never know when a pop up for recommending a specific adult diaper will show up. Not good if there are others around including family members, and especially in an office full of people or if your boss happens to stop by and ask you to pull up something and a pop up happens.  Those things by themselves keep me from ever pulling up anything associated with AB/DL or adult diapers at work.

[Bel George]

On 2/27/2021 at 10:36 PM, ~Brian~ said:

Chat is not bad:  It is a little wild sometimes, but there are admins and mods that keep a pretty good handle on things, and there are a lot of good people there.  The time it gets "bad" is when you have no self control, and you just sit there for hours, and zone out.

@~Brian~ 

I never intended to imply that chat is bad.  As long as I keep away from it, it won't make me spend even more time here then is already the case.

On 2/27/2021 at 10:36 PM, ~Brian~ said:

Just take it easy, and Don't overdo:  set limits, and try to stick to them, and you should be OK

 

Setting limits is not the problem, sticking to them is.  This has certainly worstened for me since that start of the corona pandemic.

@Evelyn Dellcerro 

Thanks for taking time to answer here.   It seems that you and your wife do not have a problem with loving and using diapers. With my wife that is unfortunately not the case and that's why I try to keep it away from her.  She knows about it, so it's not behind her back, but she hates to be confronted with diapers or to be reminded about them.
Other then that, we are both very happy in our relationship.  We spend our nights and weekends together, we travel regularly (when it is not forbidden), we go shopping, eating out, walking, ... but all of this without me wearing diapers. 
Even talking about them makes her very uncomfortable.

The result is that I cannot resist to wear them while working.  Being self-employed and alone in my office makes that very easy.  However, at the end of almost every day I find that it is not helping me to concentrate on working, and too often I get distracted by reading these forums and all the nice stories.
It would certainly be better if I would have the chance to go online, in my spare time, while at home, without making my wife upset.  I keep hoping that one day this will be possible, maybe when the kids are out of the house.  Meanwhile, I need to find a better way to manage all of this.

On 2/28/2021 at 2:08 AM, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

One thing I can say is let your wife read forums here and let her get a taste of how many people feel. Let her read the good and the bad.

Unfortunately, reading and understanding English is not that easy for her, which would make it all the more frustrating for her to "waste time" on this.

Perhaps it can help both of us to see a kink-positive therapist together, in order to gain a better understanding of each other's situation. A stranger who, with full knowledge of the facts, can give unbiased advice on how to deal with this. I have already discussed it with my wife, but she is not yet convinced of the necessity.

 

To all who replied: Thank you very much.
I'm going to try to work for a few hours now, and hope that it works without being distracted.

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

9 hours ago, Bel George said:

@~Brian~ 

I never intended to imply that chat is bad.  As long as I keep away from it, it won't make me spend even more time here then is already the case.

 

Setting limits is not the problem, sticking to them is.  This has certainly worstened for me since that start of the corona pandemic.

@Evelyn Dellcerro 

Thanks for taking time to answer here.   It seems that you and your wife do not have a problem with loving and using diapers. With my wife that is unfortunately not the case and that's why I try to keep it away from her.  She knows about it, so it's not behind her back, but she hates to be confronted with diapers or to be reminded about them.
Other then that, we are both very happy in our relationship.  We spend our nights and weekends together, we travel regularly (when it is not forbidden), we go shopping, eating out, walking, ... but all of this without me wearing diapers. 
Even talking about them makes her very uncomfortable.

The result is that I cannot resist to wear them while working.  Being self-employed and alone in my office makes that very easy.  However, at the end of almost every day I find that it is not helping me to concentrate on working, and too often I get distracted by reading these forums and all the nice stories.
It would certainly be better if I would have the chance to go online, in my spare time, while at home, without making my wife upset.  I keep hoping that one day this will be possible, maybe when the kids are out of the house.  Meanwhile, I need to find a better way to manage all of this.

Unfortunately, reading and understanding English is not that easy for her, which would make it all the more frustrating for her to "waste time" on this.

Perhaps it can help both of us to see a kink-positive therapist together, in order to gain a better understanding of each other's situation. A stranger who, with full knowledge of the facts, can give unbiased advice on how to deal with this. I have already discussed it with my wife, but she is not yet convinced of the necessity.

 

To all who replied: Thank you very much.
I'm going to try to work for a few hours now, and hope that it works without being distracted.

Bless You, And we hope and pray for the best solution for you.

[IndianaJ35]

On 2/26/2021 at 9:45 AM, Bel George said:

Hi fellow diaper friends,

It is getting difficult to do my job properly.  I just can't seem to stop my poking around here (and other ABDL websites) when I really need to be able to concentrate on my work.
Who has tips for finding a healthy balance between work and ABDL?

There are a few things that do not help:
- I have an office where I am usually alone and I can wear and use diapers without any problems.  The risk of being caught is virtually non-existent.
- at home I have a wife who does not like those diapers, and children who do not know about them, so at home I am limited in the possibilities to give in to my curiosity.

At the end of the month I do notice that I have (again) worked much less than I could and should have.
And, as a self-employed person, I also lose a lot of income this way.

What suggestions can you give to better distribute my time (= work more and read fewer stories and messages)?

Thanks in advance for all the tips.

(To whoever does - thanks for taking the time to read my post).

Props to you, BelGeorge, for taking the first big step and realizing it is a problem.  I might be on the opposite end of the spectrum for you - I might not make enough time on here for this (relatively) important part of my life, but I won't go into details (or make excuses, which are almost always self-serving.)

Lots of good posts above...I think most that suggest setting limits, and exercising willpower thereon are the best.  I think if you have the willpower to admit a problem, you have the willpower to implement a solution such as this.

In closing, to quote Mr. Miyagi from "The Karate Kid" -- "Whole life have a balance, everything be better".

[BabyJilly_S]

Its tricky if the computer you use for work has the capability to browse the forums and log in. Maybe you can set up another account for work purposes that does not have the capability, the sites are blacklisted or something.

Other than that you can set specific times when you can look, maybe designate a morning coffee break with 15 mins of surfing, the lunch with an hour of surfing whilst you eat and a similar 15 minutes tea break in the afternoon. Or go task based, with finishing a work task rewards you with 5 minutes ?

If you don't use a computer and are using your phone or tablet, maybe buy a time lock safe and lock them away for the morning then the afternoon.

At the end of the day though, it's still going to come down to will power .....