If you could have no control of your bladder

[Alex Bridges]

Nope.

What I want is the ability to turn my control on and off. At work: on. Watching movies at home: off. Etc.

[carsfan]

No, I wouldn't take a pill. I already wear mostly 24/7 out of choice. I can already choice to not wear a diaper if I don't feel like it, which does happen sometimes. I have thought that If I ever become incontinent and had to wear or even had an actual daytime accident from wearing diapers lots, I'd probably have an easier time accepting both then someone who doesn't like to wear. For now I'm happy being diapered as much as I want and having control to enjoying other parts of life and not worry about needing a diaper.     

[justforfun]

Nope.

About twenty years ago I trained myself into bedwetting.  It's a decision I would take back now, if I could.  The idea of permanent incontinence would have enticed me back then, but not a chance at this point.

Now, if there were a magic pill I could take to stop the bedwetting, now that would be interesting... but not something for this particular sub-forum!

[NannaAnnabelle]

No. For every minute I spend wearing and wetting diapers, hours and days go by where I have no desire to deal with the consequences. I would choose to hold onto my freedom of decision as long as possible.

[cathdiap]

I don’t need a pill for that. My home built stent offers me a comfortable and safe way to enjoy incontinence and diaper dependency for as long as I want. If I wanted I could wear it for ever, but usually my urges only last a few days. That is why I know that lifelong incontinence is not for me. 

[Elbs]

On 8/20/2020 at 9:09 AM, Transfusionelle said:

why on earth would anyone in their right mind want to give up that kind of control ? that would be insane ! i enjoy wearing my diapers, but to not have control over my bodily functions is beyond belief to me. might as well sever my spine and make me a quadripalegic. not a very nice thing to say because i have a friend in a wheelchair and i see the tribulations he goes through and not just diaper related. its not an easy life, why make it harder. and no i would never take a pill to make me incontinent.

There are people who want to be quadriplegic, too. Look up body integrity identity disorder.

 

Anyway, I don't know your friend, you'd have to ask him, but many wheelchair users I know would not want to be cured. People think being disabled is a lot worse than it actually is for most people. Studies have found that the average self-reported happiness and mental health doesn't differ between quadriplegic people who are ventilator dependent vs fully able-bodied people, except for people who just recently became disabled and haven't adjusted yet.

 

A lot of harm has been done to disabled people on the assumption that having a disability automatically makes you miserable, this stereotype has even cost people their lives. And it's often used to distract from the actual causes of most of the problems disabled people face, which have more to do with societal barriers than with the disabilities themselves. For example needing a wheelchair isn't the problem, the stairs and such are.

[Transfusionelle]

18 hours ago, Elbs said:

There are people who want to be quadriplegic, too. Look up body integrity identity disorder.

 

Anyway, I don't know your friend, you'd have to ask him, but many wheelchair users I know would not want to be cured. People think being disabled is a lot worse than it actually is for most people. Studies have found that the average self-reported happiness and mental health doesn't differ between quadriplegic people who are ventilator dependent vs fully able-bodied people, except for people who just recently became disabled and haven't adjusted yet.

 

A lot of harm has been done to disabled people on the assumption that having a disability automatically makes you miserable, this stereotype has even cost people their lives. And it's often used to distract from the actual causes of most of the problems disabled people face, which have more to do with societal barriers than with the disabilities themselves. For example needing a wheelchair isn't the problem, the stairs and such are.

For example needing a wheelchair isn't the problem, the stairs and such are. You just answered your quote sweetie. If you want to speak to someone that knows about dissabilities and is a very educated and a sweet man speak to @~Brian~a very good friend and confidant. He is one of the sweetest men I know and care deeply about. Not all places are wheelchair accessible so in fact it is hard for a wheelchair to go where non disabled people can. Yes it is not an easy life, but many do manage. I know you may not like my answer, but many do not choose to be disabled. Many have had accidents that was no fault of their own or a birth defect . Many live happily, but given a choice I am sure many would choose to walk on their own two feet. Hugs and kisses and life is for all to enjoy.

On 8/22/2020 at 6:37 PM, ~Brian~ said:

@abwetter1 @Evelyn Dellcerro

Being Incontinent, I already believe that I have lost some control, but taking a pill to take away control would make it so that I would not be in as much control as I am now:  I already take triamterene (Water pills) for excess fluid, and Miralax for constipation issues, and with IBS and Diverticulitis, I don't think that I would want to take a pill to lose all control of my bodily elimination functions.  I don't think I'd want to take a pill to take away control of my bodily functions, although losing control for FUN is a THRILL.  Why wouldn't I want to lose control on a permanent basis?  Here is why?

Yes, its fun to have a diaper on, and experience, or LET a loss of control happen, but as anyone who is incontinent will probably tell you, losing control and having it happen at ANY time can be inconvenient, troublesome or restrictive to whatever you are doing - I like to be active, and using diapers allows me to do that without inconveniencing anyone too much, and also because most bathroom setups I may use as a visitor are NOT set up with safety rails, so safety is a concern, because I can't grab anything solid most times to be able to get myself off the toilet:  You also have to realize that slippery floors or dangerous elevations or deformities in terrain can cause me problems, and if I step and slide, I will hit the floor, and possibly injure myself:

@Transfusionelle says:

I agree with her here:  if you have control, you have to realize that for each person who has it, there are people who don't have it:   if you don't have it, and that is all you know, then it would be normal for you NOT to have control of bodily functions.  Wearing and using diapers is one thing, if you enjoy it, and deal with it.  It is quite a DIFFERENT situation when you have NO CHOICE but to use diapers because you don't have any control at all:  you then go PEE or POOP anywhere, anytime, and you don't decide when it happens.  It just happens: This could cause problems for those who are quads, who have to prepare to go somewhere, or plan how long they can be out, or if they can change where they are, or even sometimes when someone wants you to spend the night or something:  Its not easy being disabled, and its really hard if you have to change in an unfamiliar place, or in a place where privacy may not be as readily available as the person would like. 

Right again:  people who are disabled have enormous challenges that they face everyday.  In 2019, I "Bit the Bullet" and decided that because of my issues, diapers would be the way I deal with them.  In 2020, I decided that I was gonna go 24/7 - This is due to comfort, safety and convenience reasons:  I am getting older, and it is getting harder to get up and MOVE if I feel the "I need to go" signal.  Right now, I have control of #2, but if I eat good food, new food that I have never eaten before, or food that does not agree with my stomach, I can experience diverticulitis or IBS trouble, and sometimes, I can fill my diaper, WITHOUT ME HAVING ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, trying to relieve the pressure or pain, and if that happens, it HAPPENS, and as @Transfusionelle says:

Loss of control of bodily functions is a BIG thing to lose:  We work from the time we are toddlers to gain that control:  total loss of control has pretty serious and long-lasting consequences - some people lose it because of disability/injury, while others may lose it due to illness or conditions that weaken this control or quicken the pace at which you may lose continence - Loss of control is a serious issue, and there are individuals who may find that loss of control means that they give up control, and lose a piece of their independence, and diapers can help that person gain confidence, but if you lose control of these functions, you may NOT be able to get them back, so:

Take it from a guy who is incontinent, and uses a wheelchair:  losing ALL CONTROL, if you could take a pill, or even if you didn't or couldn't do it is NOT all that it is cracked up to be.  My family cared for my late brother for 10 years, and had to change him, bathe him, etc, because he was nonverbal and could do NOTHING for himself:  I have Cerebral Palsy, and I have accepted that eventually, I may have NO CONTROL at all, but I want to keep what control I do have for as long as I can, because once gone, I won't be able to get it back.

I enjoy wearing and using my diapers for their intended purposes, and enjoy the feelings associated with the  releases and the sensations that I experience, and if I was in a place where I could just "let go" and NOT have to worry about the mess, because someone is helping me enjoy the experience where I lose control, then would just let it go - BUT - 99% of the time, I HAVE to clean UP the mess, and deal with the smell, and the inconvenience if it happens without my allowing it to happen.  It can be FUN to wet and mess, if that is what you do, but it also can be a HEADACHE for those who are incontinent and have no choice but to wet or mess.

My Take, for 

 

Brian you cease to amaze me with your wisdom and strength. We pray for you here everyday and always hope the best for you. We love you so much and pray for that day we all get to meet and hug.

[Elbs]

4 hours ago, Transfusionelle said:

For example needing a wheelchair isn't the problem, the stairs and such are. You just answered your quote sweetie. If you want to speak to someone that knows about dissabilities and is a very educated and a sweet man speak to @~Brian~a very good friend and confidant. He is one of the sweetest men I know and care deeply about. Not all places are wheelchair accessible so in fact it is hard for a wheelchair to go where non disabled people can. Yes it is not an easy life, but many do manage. I know you may not like my answer, but many do not choose to be disabled. Many have had accidents that was no fault of their own or a birth defect . Many live happily, but given a choice I am sure many would choose to walk on their own two feet. Hugs and kisses and life is for all to enjoy.

And many would not choose to walk. Didn't you read what I said? I know disabled people who don't want to be cured.

Plus, societal barriers exist for a lot more people than just disabled people. Do you find it offensive that some people want to transition from male to female because women face more societal barriers than men do?

[~Brian~]

10 hours ago, Transfusionelle said:

For example needing a wheelchair isn't the problem, the stairs and such are. You just answered your quote sweetie. If you want to speak to someone that knows about dissabilities and is a very educated and a sweet man speak to @~Brian~a very good friend and confidant. He is one of the sweetest men I know and care deeply about. Not all places are wheelchair accessible so in fact it is hard for a wheelchair to go where non disabled people can. Yes it is not an easy life, but many do manage. I know you may not like my answer, but many do not choose to be disabled. Many have had accidents that was no fault of their own or a birth defect . Many live happily, but given a choice I am sure many would choose to walk on their own two feet. Hugs and kisses and life is for all to enj

@Transfusionelle@Elbs@Evelyn Dellcerro

Tranfusionelle speaks the truth:  being disabled is NOT all fun and games, and 90% of my life, there have been challenges I have faced.  Most of these started right outta the womb, and then right into specialty therapy, or school accommodations, or accessibility to different places.  I have been disabled all my life, and my late brother Richard was the first person I knew with a disability - I was taught to look out for him, and take care of him, and make sure our parents knew what was going on.  Being disabled to us was the Norm, and we were treated well, and taught right from wrong - We didn't know anything else then being what/who we were, and we were raised in a LOVING home, with parents/aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents that loved the hell out of us.

Would I change who I was if I had the chance?  Probably not: because that would mean my life would be different: I wouldn't have the same experiences, the same family members, the same dreams, aspirations, feelings, understandings, or abilities.  All my life, I have been TAUGHT that you TRY REALLY hard, and as long as you do your best, no one would expect any more from me, but I also don't want to do LESS then what is expected - For that would mean that I would not be in my right frame of mind, and I would kick the hell outta my own BUTT, because I KNOW when I am trying to be lazy. 

There are times that I worry that I will be a "burden" to someone else, and because of that, I won't be able to enjoy as many things as I would like as I age.  I tell it straight up: I am disabled, and I am "able" - I don't worry about the things that I can do for others or myself, but I do want to live an independent life, making decisions for myself as long as I can.

I'm gonna use @Evelyn Dellcerro, @Transfusionelle, and @DailyDi as examples next:  ALL of these individuals can test for, obtain, and MAINTAIN driving privileges.  They can operate vehicles safely.  I CANNOT:  I rely on local Paratransit, my brothers, or my family to take me places, and sometimes it puts me in a position where i cannot do something without assistance.  Because of local bus service, and my on board technology, I am mobile, available, and content, because I know that I can do it - In NO WAY do I feel sorry for myself, or question whether disability is something that is wanted, or wished for:  I GOT it, and I have to play the cards I am dealt.  I want people to know that being disabled is a PROFOUND change to what a non-disabled person deals with.

I have friends that CAN'T Function without a wheelchair:  They can't feed, change, groom, care for themselves without a 24/7 PAID aide, or caregiver.  They have to be tended to EVERY hour:  They HAVE no CHOICE:  They live that every day.  They get fed, showered, diapered, and medicated and that is the extent of their lives.  If they are lucky, they may only have less severe disabilities, and they still may need help.  If they do, then so be it, and that is cool. 

There are friends of mine who think or thought that because they are disabled that they could get away with things that we all know are against the law or wrong to do to someone.  I have held friends accountable when I catch them doing something I KNOW they know is WRONG:  Just because you are disabled or use a chair or an assistive device, does NOT mean you use your disability as an excuse for misconduct or wrongdoing.  Let me tell you, that makes me MAD - Its bad enough that we are disabled, but to allow them to have the mistaken impression that disability can be used as a shield? BZZZZZZZZZT!!

6 hours ago, Elbs said:

And many would not choose to walk. Didn't you read what I said? I know disabled people who don't want to be cured.

Plus, societal barriers exist for a lot more people than just disabled people.

@Elbs

If there are disabled individuals that could be "cured" I am sure that they would have to make that decision.  A disabled individual may NOT choose to do certain things, such as walk, or exercise:  If they choose that, then it rests with them.  Disabilities like @Evelyn Dellcerroand @Transfusionelleand I are talking about are not going to be "cured."  In my case, to be frank:  Some of my brain cells that control parts of my body ARE D E A D - They are NOT coming back, and I never had the ability to know what I can't use. 

That does NOT mean that I am gonnna wallow in self-pity here:  I live the live I have, and I am happy for what I have, and my family, and friends I have made.  I am sure that @Evelyn Dellcerro or @Transfusionelle would take a "social barrier" and "MOOOOOVE IT outta the way". That does not mean that it doesn't exist, but it does mean that we have to be aware of it - a Barrier is a challenge, but that doesn't mean that you can  NOT overcome it - It just means that you have to work harder to get around it.

7 hours ago, Elbs said:

Do you find it offensive that some people want to transition from male to female because women face more societal barriers than men do?

I don't think a decision to transition should be based solely on social barriers.  If someone has a reason to transition, then I am sure that it has been on their minds, and that the "feelings" that they are experiencing have always been there. Remember, I said that you would have to move the barriers outta the way?  I mean it!

11 hours ago, Transfusionelle said:

Brian you cease to amaze me with your wisdom and strength. We pray for you here everyday and always hope the best for you. We love you so much and pray for that day we all get to meet and hug.

Thank you Elle:  I always try to project confidence, strength, and wisdom:  They always say that you don't understand a person's struggles unless you walk a mile in their shoes or diapers.  Being that I live in a chair 24/7, you and Eve UNDERSTAND these struggles, and know that life isn't easy - People used to tell me what I COULD NOT DO - and that made me want to DO IT ANYWAY - I proved them wrong - because YOU are BOTH "New York Tough" and I, am "VERMONT STRONG"

Brian

[Elbs]

16 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

I don't think a decision to transition should be based solely on social barriers.  If someone has a reason to transition, then I am sure that it has been on their minds, and that the "feelings" that they are experiencing have always been there. Remember, I said that you would have to move the barriers outta the way?  I mean it!

This is just as true for people with BIID as it is for trans people. One of the reasons why it's so annoying to have people on this forum constantly lecturing people about how they don't really want to be incontinent. It comes across like a cis woman lecturing a trans woman on why she should just stay a man.

[BoTox]

If the pill were like a laxative for the bladder, had a known effective time frame and wore off after the dose had run its course, then I think it would be interesting to experiment with it. For instance, take it before bedtime and wake up wet would be a freeing experience.

As a permanent or very long acting cause of incontinence, no, I would not. That will remain the stuff of fantasy.

[~Brian~]

3 hours ago, Elbs said:

This is just as true for people with BIID as it is for trans people. One of the reasons why it's so annoying to have people on this forum constantly lecturing people about how they don't really want to be incontinent. It comes across like a cis woman lecturing a trans woman on why she should just stay a man.

@Elbs

I would not try to tell anyone that they are who they are not:  There are people who think that it would be awesome to be incontinent.  Since I am incontinent, and have been dealing with the effects on a daily basis, I can tell you that while it may be fun for someone to be incontinent and lose control for a short time, long term dealing with this, means you don't have the control, and with that comes the fact that you can't control when or where a release occurs.  If you deal with it on a daily basis, it can cease to have its "fun" aspect, and you just deal with it - It can be inconvenient, and it can be embarrassing.  I am simply stating that if you live with incontinence, eventually, you may wish that you were not incontinent, and that it is hard to undo it, and harder to get back what you lost.  If you are incontinent, you may not have that choice, and you find ways to deal with it.

I am not trying to argue or lecture anyone.  the fact remains that  people think that being incontinent is desirable:  Wishing to become incontinent is different from being medically incontinent.  If you are incontinent because of medical reasons, you have to deal with those issues.  How you deal with them is up to you, but believe me, you still have to deal with them.  If you desire incontinence, you have to  train yourself to make changes to the way you manage you bathroom habits.  You probably will lose some control if you are in a state when you are using your diapers for release of either or both, but regardless of how you get to the end, the means to get there are similar.

Brian

[spark]

I guess it depends on what no control of your bladder means.

Personally- I wouldn't want any form of medical incontinence, especially something permanent.  That would be something that is physically preventing from from feeling the sensation of bladder- and either chronic leakage or frequent accidents.     However I'm not sure if that's what we are achieving if we engage in behavioral conditioning, which is basically what we seem to be doing with the 24/7 method.   We are doing the reverse of what happened when we were potty trained.

I don't think there has ever been a scientific study about people conditioned to use diapers eventually regaining their potty training, but I know there is anecdotal evidence that it has happened.   It make sense, and it also makes sense that it wouldn't be a simple switch.   It took me a while to get used to using diapers, and if I went back, it might take a few weeks to be conditioned to wait.    I would have to be hyper aware of my bladder for a few weeks, and may even make a few mistakes.  Fortunately- I have no desire to go to underwear 24/7.

 I've wondered if I would give up control to a caregiver.  If somebody were to offer a week where I had to wear diapers and wait for them to change my diaper.  It's a fantasy, but I don't know how I would really feel about it.