feralfreak Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 what do you get when you see a naked smurf? a blue moon a truck driver delivering animals to a zoo has an accident and has to call the zoo the people at the zoo ask him how bad it is and he says "well I've got good gnu's and bad gnu's" Three Irishmen are in a pub sitting at a table with a big window facing a brothel across the street. A Rabbi walks up and goes in and the first Irishman says "would you look at the hypocrite!". The other two Irishmen say "aye". then a minister Link to comment
dlsmd Posted November 8, 2014 Share Posted November 8, 2014 More books to read: Rusty bed springs by: I.P.Nightly Brown spots on the wall by: Hu Fung Pu <i think this author had a name change> Yellow river around the old oak tree by: I.P.Freely Yellow river around the old oak tree by: I.P.Daily Run to the out-house by: Willey Makitt, Illustrated by Betty Whont Link to comment
rusty pins Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Don't forget "I fell off the Mountian" by Eileen Dover Link to comment
rusty pins Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 A traveling priest has to spend the night in a cheap motel and is sounding kind of dubious to the clerk about the place. "We have cable TV", the clerk says. 1 Link to comment
dlover49 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Overheard in a bar: Q: How do you make a screwdriver? A: Vodka and OJ. Q: How do you make a Phillips Screwdriver? A: Vodka and milk of magnesia. 1 Link to comment
windelman500 Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 A chronic masturbator is seeing a psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist tells him "you really need to stop masturbating", the client asks him why, and the psychiatrist says "it's upsetting the other patients in the waiting room". Link to comment
feralfreak Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 in russia, do you chase zombies? Link to comment
kellysbaby Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Is it possible for a morbidly obese person to go skinny dipping? It's called chunky dunking. Link to comment
BabyJune Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 Q: How do you make an elephant fly? Link to comment
Born Yesterday Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mosquito? A: Elephant * Mosquito * Sin( Theta ) 1 Link to comment
Guest Posted November 22, 2014 Share Posted November 22, 2014 What's the definition of mutual trust? 2 cannibals doing the 69 Link to comment
dlover49 Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Masochist to sadist: "Beat me, beat me!" Sadist to masochist: "No!" 1 Link to comment
feralfreak Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 where do you find a one legged dog? where ever the fuck you left it! 1 Link to comment
diaperguy85 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 a pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. the bartender asks "what the hell is up with that?". the pirate shrugs and replies "yar... i don't know, but it's driving me nuts!!" Link to comment
rusty pins Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 3 guys in a bar were bragging who had the longest dick. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 A guy had a blind date and decided the best place to take her would be the local carnival. Link to comment
Kodachi96 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 What is the longest word in the English language? Link to comment
blitz1027 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 What did the elephant say to the naked man? It's cute but can you really breathe through that? Link to comment
nappy_on Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. He asks the bartender for a pint of beer, and a half for Tiny, pointing at the newt. The bartender asks the guy why the newt called Tiny. The guy says... "Well, he's my newt!" Link to comment
engr_boy Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 What do a gyno and a pizza boy have in common? They both smell it all day but neither gets to eat it Link to comment
wearer24/7 Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 what do you call a nun on a radiator ? sister matic. what do you call a woman who sets fire to her utility bills? burn a debt. Link to comment
feralfreak Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 while at the store with my mom i saw a package of baby carrots with a brand name of peter rabbit, i said "i guess he wont be stealing carrots any more", she said "yeah now they steal from him", and without missing a beat i said "yeah and hes 'HOPPING MAD' about it" Link to comment
rusty pins Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I was in the grocery store by the vegetables and needed onions and things for some soup I was making. Link to comment
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