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Bad Jokes


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What do you call a horny stoner? A weed whacker

What do call someone who cries when they masturbate? A tear jerker

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a monkey? You get kicked out of the zoo

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and goes, "Do you have trouble with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit goes, "No." And the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit. - Gilbert Gottfried

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

:roflmao:

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A newly-hired carpenter is tossing about half his nails on the ground. The foreman sees this asks him why. He replies that the nailheads are on the wrong end of the ones he's throwing away :rolleyes:

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are out playing golf, when the people at the hole ahead of them are taking forever to tee off. They all start complaining amongst them selves when a caddy walks by, they ask what the hold up? The caddy says that they are blind, immediately, the priest says, I'm so sorry, bless them, and bless their game of golf, the minister says, oh forgive me I did not know they were blind, the rabbi says, why can't they play at night?

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On top of a hill sits an outhouse. There is a man running up the hill- he is Russian. There is a man walking down the hill- he is Finnish. And there is a man inside the outhouse- he is European.

  • Haha 1
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Two young ducks are sitting outside on the patio and having quite the conversation.

"qwack qwack qwackity qwack QWACK! "

"Qwack??" :o

"qwackity....Q*W*A*C*K!" ;)

"qwackin' qwack qwack!

Then a lady yells from a window above:

Hey you two watch the fowl language!

  • Haha 1
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