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(this may need to be moved to a more appropriate area of discussion, but I just thought this was more a general discussion topic, so... moderators, move as you see fit. Thanks!) So I'm going to try losing some weight before the winter months set in. I'm doing this for two main reasons, one is to get into clothes that no longer fit (some of my favorite shirts I might add) and admittedly be at a more healthier weight, and the second is so that I can comfortably put on my diapers without feeling ... um... like it's some major chore that requires a lot of effort. There was a time in my life where I was able to put on a diaper in less than 5 minutes, and now I'm lucky if I can get into one within 20 minutes. FIrst off, I'm an adult picky eater. What this means is that I cannot (even if it meant my life depended on it) change my dietary intake. No matter what, this is NOT going to change. I can't eat fruits nor veggies (I won't explain why, because that's just irrelevant here). Second, I'm looking for alternative solutions, i.e. workouts, possibly alternative things like protein shakes or meal supplements that might help aid in the weight loss quest. Lastly, I want to be able to fit comfortably in a Medium Molicare super brief instead of the L/XL Depends that I've been using over the last 7-9 years (ever since the "American Fare" brand of K-mart stopped selling their "Large" adult diapers/briefs). I'd post a picture, but I'm a little shy about posting my face, especially for privacy reasons. I know this largely has nothing to do with diapers, but when it's hard to put one on let alone masturbate in one (Yes, I admit to masturbating, and I don't care), it's time for a change (pun is intended). Ideally, I'd like to lose 30 pounds, but realistically, I'll settle for 15 and work my way down from there. So any tips or suggestions other than dietary restrictions would be wonderful. Thanks!

I am done with college & moving back in with my parents. I have a bunch of diapers and no room or space to hide them. They are as good as new, out of original packaging, stored in cardboard boxes ready for shipping. There is also a pare of fuzzy hooded footie pajamas, Fits 5'8"- 5'11" 130-170 lbs. *Also rubber pants. There are 51 Medium Tranquility ATN Briefs left & 32 Abena Abri-Form Briefs (X-Plus Absorbency) 1 pare Yellow Hooded Fuzzy Footie PJs 51 Tranquility ATN diapers (Medium) 32 Abena Abri-Form diapers (Medium) 1 pare Rubber Pants Links: http://www.footedpaj...p/ch-803-ah.htm http://www.northshor...e.com/atn1.html http://www.northshor...ites-abena.html I'm reaching a crossroad in my life and I think I'm ready for a change (harhar). I need this stuff out of my hair very soon (2 weeks) and if it were to find a good home instead of the dumpster, it would put my mind at ease. Rubber pants & Pjs WILL be washed before shipping, but you might want to wash again upon receiving just for your comfort. Message me and we'll figure something out.

I don't know how many other writers and authors out there would be interested but I'd like to recruit some editors and proofreaders to help clean up and make my stories more presentable, easier to read and generally a better product. I'm sure other writers and authors would appreciate the same. Feel free to chime in if you like. In return for your editing and proofreading, you would be the first to read a new story and possibly help shape the direction and flow of the story. Also, I'd be willing to proofread and perform minor edits within my field of interest, primarily DL and SciFi topics. I would propose that writers and editors agree on a format, such as .rtf, .txt or .doc or other common formats that are mutually agreeable. Chime in!

hey guys, I know a lot of you guys seem to prefer plastic covers over cloth covers, maybe because the diapers you wore as kids were plastic. But, I am of the slightly newer generation (90's), and I grew up with clothlike (huggies, pampers, goodnites) covers and I was wondering if anyone else shared my opinion. Of course, there are different kinds of clothlike covers, the ones on depends suck, the ones on goodnites, huggies and pampers were my favourite, they were the softest to touch. I know ABU Cushies have a cloth like model but that's about the only adult diaper that does (and I don't know how it compares to the three diapers i mentioned above). Does anyone else share my opinion? I'd love to hear what you guys have to say

At long last, I've decided to write a third "Life with Claire" story, with one chapter each day from now until Christmas Eve. Consider it my gift to all of you who liked my original stories. --- One The atmosphere inside the mall was electric with the holiday shopping frenzy. Whole families and troupes of friends rushed past each other through the aisles and escalators of every Macy's and Sears store, filling the air with the sound of kids laughing and crying while the same twelve Christmas songs were played on an endless loop. Through the chaos engulfing the first-floor Macy's, Jessica walked with a clear purpose. She kept one hand stuck in the pocket of her fur-collared jacket and the other hand tightly gripping the shopping list she'd received from her Aunt Claire earlier that morning. She'd known how insane it was to try and find any Christmas dinner supplies at this time of the season, but she had to try. The whole family was counting on it. From her left, she heard someone call out, "Jess! I got it!" Jessica turned and saw her friend Samantha come weaving and dodging through the thickest part of the shopping crowd. Samantha wasn't hard to miss, wearing a bright red pea coat and a white scarf trailing around her neck. The demented grin on her face brought a smile to Jessica's as she came to meet her friend halfway across the aisle. "You won't believe it," Samantha said, panting for breath as she came to a halt, "but I got the last one." She held up a beautiful tablecloth inside a square plastic package--the reindeer-embroidered tablecloth her grandmother used to have many Christmases ago. Jessica's grin widened. "That's fantastic! So how many older women did you have to fight off for it?" "Only a dozen," Samantha replied with a flippant shrug. She tucked the package under her arm and slid her other arm around Jessica's waist. "That's put us almost halfway done, am I right?" "We just need to get to Sears before all the cooking ware disappears." Jessica consulted her list and nodded. "With any luck, we should be done before six and back home in time for dinner." "Great!" Samantha led Jessica toward the front of the store. "And maybe then, we'll see if Sarah will be up for some roleplaying." Jessica considered that for a moment. Then she let out a satisfied smile and answered, "I think that'd be nice. Let's hope she's not too tired for it." "Say, Jess..." Samantha leaned in with a serious expression. "Sorry to bring this up, but... do you need a break to go change?" Jessica smiled and shook her head. "I'm fine, Sam. But thanks for asking." "Sorry. Old habit." "I still think it's sweet." --- It had been almost seven years since Jessica had finally gotten out of diapers. Like most girls, she had been toilet trained and out of diapers by the age of four, but things had conspired to go badly in her life after that. Her father suddenly leaving had caused her mother's mind to finally snap, and she'd taken out her rage on poor Jessica, who'd been forced back into diapers and treated like a baby for several weeks. It was only by Providence that her mother's younger sister Claire had steppped in and rescued Jessica from that wide-awake nightmare, although the damage had been done. For the next ten years, Jessica had to struggle with all manner of trauma. Emotionally-triggered flashbacks. An inability to be close with anyone except her Aunt Claire, her cousin Sarah, and her friend Samantha. And of course, the fact that she was completely incontinent. Being a teenager who still had to wear diapers had been particularly humiliating, even if she was fortunate enough that no one except for Samantha and the school nurses ever knew about them. Eventually, though, things got better. Jessica had been able to confront some of her worst traumas after an episode involving Sarah, who had just come out to their aunt about her diaper fetish. She also had found a boyfriend, Ryan, whose sympathy had overtaken his apprehension about the issue of her diapers. Claire herself had finally been able to move on from being simply Jessica's guardian and, after some soul-searching, had also come out of the closet. Now Jessica and Sarah had a whole new aunt, Andrea, Claire's old college roommate and current partner. Everything changed after that. Jessica, Sarah, and Samantha were able to get their own apartment with the help of Claire and Andrea. While Sarah got a promotion at her PR job, Jessica and Samantha went to work for a fashion boutique on Main Street. And most important for Jessica was the fact that she had begun to regain proper bladder and bowel control, having only to wear a diaper at night and getting by with a bladder pad in her underwear by day. But there were also sad developments, too. Just three months prior, Grandma Rose had passed away in her sleep at the age of eighty-nine. After the funeral, it was decided that Claire and Andy would have Christmas Eve dinner at their home for the very first time and the usual Christmas Day party at Sarah's parents' house. This was why Jessica was so urgent about getting everything that day at the mall. Her Aunt Claire was her second mother--her only real mother, as far as she was concerned--and she didn't want to disappoint her in making this Christmas as special as all the others. --- At close to five-thirty that day, Jessica had crossed the final item off her list. She handed the list to Samantha, who promptly crumpled it up and tossed it over her shoulder into a trash can behind her. And with that, they declared their holiday shopping over at last. On their way out of the mall, they passed by the Santa Claus workshop in the atrium, where there was still a decent-sized line of children waiting their turn. Samantha noticed one of Santa's elves was a tall guy with a pencil-thin beard and very cute eyes, though despite her efforts, she couldn't seem to attract his attention at the head of the line. "Nice, Sam," Jessica commented. "Now I finally know what to get you for Christmas." "Plus he's one of Santa's elves, so you know he's good at making presents," Samantha exclaimed in between giggles. "He's the gift that keeps on giving!" Jessica had to stifle a groan behind her lips as she grabbed her friend's elbow to lead her away. But then she heard over her shoulder someone say, "It's okay, Ritchie, I'm off break now..." Something about the voice struck her as familiar. She turned around and saw a man in a Santa suit emerge from behind the workshop, out of sight of the kids. He was holding a thick white beard in one hand and a Santa hat in the other, but it was his face that drew Jessica's eye. She knew his face. The hair was grayer, the skin was more lined, and the eyes were sunken, but there was no doubt it was him. Jessica slowly approached, hands clenched into fists inside her jacket. As she came up, the man glanced her way and froze. His eyes went wide at the sight of her. "J-Jessica," he mumbled, nearly dropping the fake beard. "God, honey... it's really you, isn't it?" Despite the nervous trickle her bladder released into her padded underwear, Jessica didn't flinch. She kept her hands tight and answered, "Hi, Dad. How've you been?"

I have used foley catheters before with diapers and found something that i am not quite sure what to make of. After about 5 to 8 days with the cath in, i find that they get plugges with a yellowish, non-smelling, non slimy, but somewhat pasty gunk. It is kind of like something that is just simply dry and flaky, kindof like dandruff so to speak. Does anyone know what to make of this? have spoken with a couple of medical people and they all have said that it does not sound like any UTI that they have heard of

So, I spent the entirety of this weekend in nothing but diapers, using my pacifier and bottle the whole time. At first, it was a little bit difficult to use my diapers, as I wasn't holding anything in. Anytime I had to go #1 or #2, I just went. It was really quite wonderful. The pacifier was a little bit interesting to get used to as well. However, now that I'm at the end of my 24/7 weekend, I took a shower and as I got out, I noticed I had to pee. Strangely enough, my very first thought was "Better put on a diaper." I think it's kind of indicative that I'm getting used to going potty in my pants. Also, I found that it was actually sort of difficult to go any place that wasn't my diaper. I tried to pee in the shower, but just couldn't get myself to, same with the potty. But once I had my diaper on, I was able to just let it all go. I also have started just completely forgetting that I'm suckling on my paci, it's just natural for me now. hehehe... Not sure if I should be concerned or not, as this is all true... But for now, I'm happy with it. I'm having a great time. Just posted for your comments, considerations, and thoughts

i had been in diapers only at night until 3months ago my dr. told me i needed to start wearing them during the day as well thats all fine and great but i also started at college as well anyone got any advice or similar stories feel free to chat

Hi, my girlfriend (mommy) and I are looking to set up a website where ABDL's and sissy's can buy our audios/videos. I need a website designer who would be willing to help us set this site up. I do not have a lot of money set aside for this project, but you could certainly be compensated by having your very own phone mommy! Thanks!

Im looking for a pacifier bondage gag, does any one know where i can find one?

AB/DL Stuff or sale: PM me for questions Clear Plastic pants, size Medium 32"-44" Packs of Attends Medium, plastic adult diapers - 24 count Packs of Goodnites XL bedwetting diapers 21 count Cherokee Footed Pajamas -sports, outer space, skulls, peace signs, size Kids XL (adult medium) Baby Pants Dinosaur Onesie, size adult large Looking for good ab/dl homes. All are unused and unopened. Fun for your inner child and grown up little! In Chicago. 60640 - Much easier if they can be picked up/dropped off instead of shipped!

(Constructive feedback always appreciated) As Kim closed the door behind her with Mary and Maria standing in her hallway. THey both noticed she was the kind of woman any straight man, even a lesbian would want to fuck with lucious lips, brunette hair, 5'8", and wasn't skinny, but not plump. She was sort of the perfect balance of having a little bit of curves but not "bony". They also noticed pictures of children all over her hallway. Mary guessed she either was a mother, or was a godmother. Either way, she knew her way around kids judging from the smell of baby powder in the air in Kim's apartment. Mary and Maria didn't know whether to be scared shitless, or excited. Though soon they would find their answer. "As I said, my name is Kim! And as I said before I usually babysit kids, but since there are no kids to babysit, I might have to settle for babysitting you two since you obviously don't know proper behavior in a public place such as a park!", Kim scolded them as both Mary and Maria lowered their heads in shame. "We just wanted to have a little fun, and-", Mary was cut off in mid-sentence by Kim, "I don't care what you two were doing, you're supposed to leave that kind of play time at home, not where everyone in the neighborhood can see you!", Kim continued to quietly yell at them. Taking a few whiffs in the air, she noticed one of them, or both, had made a mess in their diapers. "What are your names?", she asked. "I'm Mary," the blonde-haired woman in her black short skirt with her diaper barely peeking out the back, "And she's my lover Maria!", she pointed to her Hispanic girlfriend who wore her jeans shorts, a white top, and a very enticing belt. The kind of belt that begged someone to take it from her and give her a good spanking with it. "Well, you two need extra diapers, and from the smell of it, you need to be changed. Mary, go over to your place and grab your supply. You have 10 minutes. For each minute over, I give you and your girlfriend 20 smacks with Maria's belt. Understand?" Kim looked squarely at Mary, giving her the distinct impression it wasn't a game. Mary did as she was told, and as fast as she could with her messy diaper in tow, she ran to their apartment, and grabbed the bag of diapers, plus the extra bag that she hid in case they needed more. Looking at her dresser, she noticed she left her phone there. FOr a brief moment, she thought about grabbing it and calling for help, but then her thoughts turned to other things. Who would I call? What would I say? "Hi, this is Mary, my girlfriend and I got caught playing in the park wearing our diapers and well, our neighbor is now keeping us against our will acting as our babysitter." That explanation would raise more questions than bring her help. After careful thought, she decided this might be a blessing. Their apartment wasn't exactly the poster of cleanliness, and they could use an authority figure in their lives, one that would punish them both, severely if needed, if they absolutely were bad enough. Having too many stinky diapers might just be the thing that gives them the excuse to recruit Kim as their caregiver. She smiled, and took her time waiting for the right time to show just as her time ran out with Kim. Meanwhile, Maria was starting to get sweaty thinking about the kind of spanking she might get if her lover didn't return on time. "We're going on nine minutes, Maria. Your girlfriend better show up or both of you are getting whipped hard with that belt you're wearing!", Kim calmly assured her new captive "baby". "She'll be here, I know she'll be!" Maria hoped, because she already had a really harsh spanking the night before, and wasn't about to get another one from some person she didn't know. The door knocked, and Maria just about jumped out of her seat. The messy and wet diaper made moving around on the chair miserable, but Maria enjoyed it. What she didn't enjoy was her girlfried leaving her butt on the line as it were. Kim opened the door, and in walked Mary with all their diaper supplies. "You're lucky. You had 30 seconds left. I suppose I can spare you and Maria a smacking.... for now. Now get yourselves undressed all the way down to your diapers, and I want you two to stand in the middle of my living room and DO NOT sit down. You sit down, and your butts are mine!" Kim motioned for them to enter the living room, and while they stood, Kim went and grabbed a couple of changing mats that she normally uses for babies and toddlers. With a quick smack across both their bottoms, Kim placed both mats exactly 5 inches away from each other, then instructed Maria and Mary to lay on each one respectively. "Here's how this is gonna work for tonight. I'm going to change you both individually. After tonight, you'll change each other AFTER being spanked with your belts and hairbrushes." Kim explained, "Oh yes, Maria, I noticed the hairbrush in your purse. That one is going to be fun using on both of you." She smiled. Kim knew this was going to be humiliating for them both having being changed by a stranger. Kim carefully removed both their diapers, cleaning them up as thoroughly as possible with wipes, washcloths and toilet paper. "Before you two get into your fresh diapers, we have some punishment to be dished out. Maria, give me your belt, NOW!", Kim demanded while holding her hand out. With some discomfort knowing what was about to happen, she grabbed the belt that was in her pile of clothes. "Now both of you bend over the couch with your noses pointed into the cushions." Again, Mary and Maria did as their were told and bent themselves over Kim's couch. Just as they expected, Kim spanked them both harshly, giving them both whipping after whipping with Maria's belt. For a brief moment, Mary wished Maria didn't wear her belt, but then she sort of felt good being punished by someone else other than Maria. Whenever Maria spanked her, it always felt like she was holding back. At least with Kim, they knew it was nothing personal, it was to teach them discipline, and with each smack of the belt, they both yelped in pain and pleasure. "Don't you dare get your pussies all wet just because I'm givng you a spanking. You two have been very naughty, and this is not a pleasure spanking. If I see so much as ONE drop of wetness show up near either of your clits, you'll get the paddle... for an hour!", Kim warned as she kept the belt whippings comming hard and strong. It wasn't long before they both started crying like little girls. They'd lost track of time, and how many spankings they were at, but it felt like a burning fire across their asses for a long time. After what seemed like an hour worth of spankings, Kim stopped. "You young ladies learn your lesson?", she asked. The two girls whom she beat with a belt simply moaned out a yes. "I can't hear you!", then Kim whipped them both again. "Yes, ma'am!", they said simultaneously. "And what lesson would that be?", Kim sat in a nearby chair to let the bruises sink in, and let the fire-burn from their spankings also sink in through their bodies. "Only little girls and babies wear diapers, and are not sexual when playing at the park!" Maria answered with a slight whimper, Mary only whimpered in agreement. "Good! That means you're learning. Looking through their supplies, Kim noticed something that made her almost wet her panties. She noticed the suppositories meant to activate in a matter of hours to make someone poop like crazy. She decided to use it on them both. She also noticed the sedatives. This is going to be extremely fun, she thought to herself. "I want you both stay where you are for the moment." Kim took the suppositories and after giving both girls a quick few smacks across their asses, she inserted the suppositories harshly. "Just swallow them as you normally do." she ordered them both. Both Maria and Mary thought the same thing, "Oh no! Not again!" The suppositories were only supposed to be a one-time deal, and now they're being used against them. They both knew they'll be spanked for sure after messing their diapers again. "Stay there! I have a surprise!", Kim told them as they both wiggled their bottoms from being spanked so harshly. Within minutes, Kim was back with just her bra top on, and instead of panties, she wore her strapon dildo, "If you think all I do is take care of children, you're wrong. I have sexual needs of my own, and I don't get out that often to meet men or women, so you two are going to get fucked before you get diapered." Kim quickly put her strapon cock into Mary's pussy, and fucked it as hard as she could for 20 minutes straight. Mary felt exhausted, but felt it made up for the extreme spanking she got. Maria was next, and Maria was completely caught off guard as her pussy took a pounding from Kim for another 20 minutes. Mary and Maria looked at each other like it was over and they would get their diapers on. Kim wasn't about to let them off that easily. "Now it's time for your butts to get the same treatment!" Kim smiled, knowing that being anally fucked, done right, felt awesome. She wasn't about to make it very comfortable for either of her "baby" captives. She wanted it to make it rough, but pleasurable. Mary was first while Maria watched, knowing she'd be next. She could tell from the look on Mary's face that it definitely wasn't something she expected, but in a way, she looked like she enjoyed it, even if it was a little rough. She had to watch for 15 minutes as her girlfriend got butt-fucked. It made her hot, and somewhat horny. It was Maria's turn, and as soon as Kim's strapon dildo penetrated her butthole, Maria felt very uncomfortable. It was like she had to take a dump, but it wasn't going to happen. As Kim kept pounding her dildo in Maria's ass, Maria moaned and cried out in pain and pleasure. She didn't know what to think, if anal sex was better than regular sex. She thought to herself, as straight as she could while getting her butt rammed, that Mary and herself should try anal-fucking if Kim lets them go. "I know what you two are thinking, and I'm not letting you go until I think you two have learned your lesson!" Kim finished her anal fuck of Maria, and instructed them both to lay down on the changing mats after cleaning them both up with wipes and toilet paper again. Laying butt naked in front of a stranger wasn't exactly how they planned their night to be. Mary had in mind a night of gentler sex, where she would let Maria give her the spankings this time around and leave bruises. But it was apparent that wasn't going to happen. Mary and Maria lay still as Kim put their diapers on carefully and methodically. The tapes were securely snugged in as Kim smacked their bottoms over and over again, as if the spankings were not enough. She helped them both stand up, and without warning, Kim took a snapshot of them both standing with their diapers on, no shirts, no pants, just their diapers. "That's insurance, in case you decide you want to call someone.", Kim smiled devilishly. "Now, we should get you two into some night clothes. I got the perfect outfits that I just bought for a client." She held up one finger, letting them know to wait. After several minutes, waiting with their sore bottoms covered by their diapers, Kim returned with a couple of CareBear pajama suits. Mary and Maria both noticed that the hands were simple handmuffs, designed to keep the person wearing such suits from unzipping the nightwear. "Mary, you can be in the blue CareBear outfit! And Maria, you can be in the red CareBear one!", Kim put up the pajama suits up to each of them to make sure they'd fit. "Before we get ya in those, we're gonna put ya both in plastic panties, to keep any leakage from escaping!", and with that she pulled two sets of plastic panties that had rainbows, teddy bears, and other baby-ish icons all over out of her small bag. Maria was first to be put in one, and then suited up in her red CareBear outfit. After being zipped up, Kim carefully used some duct tape to tape each of her hands up so that after putting on the handmuffs, she wouldn't be able to effectively use her fingers through the muff. Then she taped up the handmuff so that it would be impossible to get it off without her help, or Mary's, but Mary knew she would receive the same treatment. Mary got the same done to her as she got her plastic panties on, had her hands taped, and had her handmuffs taped up so she couldn't undo the zipper at all. "Now, we're gonna get you two back to your apartment across the street, and once there, we're going to get you sedated, with a paci in your mouths. Depending how you two behave, another round of spankings might be order, maybe with a paddle and a belt, who knows!?" Kim laughed, knowing full well she'd be giving them a very harsh punishment no matter what they did. Mary and Maria knew this, but at the same time they enjoyed it as Kim escorted them back to their apartment. Within minutes, they were put in their crib. It was the first night in a long time that Mary and Maria couldn't cuddle like they normally did, but it was worth it. Kim kissed them both on their forehead as she administered the sedative. "Good night lovelies. I look forward to spanking you both in the morning!" Kim calmly said as she went back to her place. Morning came quicker than Kim expected. She noticed she was tied up to her bed with one arm free. She also noticed she was in a diaper, and her free hand was still down inside her diaper. Oh now I remember! She thought, I chained myself to the bed post after I put a diaper on and masturbated like crazy until I passed out. Kim also noticed that her diaper smelled funny. She figured she must have peed herself after having a few glasses of wine after taking the two girls home to mess their diapers. Oh my gosh! I need to go get them and ... Her thoughts came to a sharp stop as she noticed a woman standing over her bed. It took her a minute, but she recognized the woman was... Oh my god! She thought to herself. "Hi Kim, I'm back!" the woman standing over her bedside sweetly greeted her. Kim knew exactly who she was, her ex-girlfriend Gina. "Hi, Gina! It's been a while. What are you doing here?" She laughed, but felt a little exposed and humiliated. Gina had never known about her own diaper fetish. Gina smiled, knowing this was a stroke of sheer luck catching her ex girlfriend in a very compromising position, especially wearing a wet diaper. She was going to savor it, and decide later how to use it to HER advantage. Kim didn't know what that would be, but she knew she was going to get it bad. Her butt would be about as sore as Mary and Maria's. (Again, to be continued. Comments welcome. diaperedndenver@gmail.com) The girlfriends and the nosey neighbor.txt The girlfriends and the nosey neighbor.txt

For a year now I have accepted my enjoyment of diapers even though my parents took a strong stance against them when I was a teenager. now im a adult and have my own job and my parents accounced to me that they are going on a 3 week vacation in july and leaving me home alone since I have a job. for the last two years now I have made do with what cheap diapers they sell at walmart since its the only store near me that has a self check out and im sick of their leaking crappy diapers that always leak. Now however since my parents are gonna be gone for a long vacation I want to get some good diapers and have them mailed to me while they are gone however I went online and was blown away with all the stock and different styles of diapers! since I have no idea what diapers are good and what diapers are bad I really don't wanna waste what little money I make at my job I really was hoping you guys could give me links to you're favorite diapers and give me ideas on what would be the best diapers to buy. (description of what I like) I like the thick plastic feel and I enjoy nice patterns however my bigest concern is leakage...also I have around a $300-500 depending on how much I save this month so im not afraid to buy the good stuff so long they are good diapers also I wouldn't get another chance like this for along time so I wanna buy a lot of diapers....please leave links to the diapers you recommend. thanks!

Baby Camp has again been scheduled in the Rocky Mountains for Thursday, June 21, 2012 to Monday, June 25, 2012. We have a campsite in mind in the vicinity of Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Thursday is usually a setup day but campers are welcome to arrive too. Friday we usually go to the hot springs and pool in Steamboat Springs and meet other campers in the early afternoon. This is usually tent camping. You will need to bring your own water and diapers. People usually sponsor meals for the group. Meal planning will happen closer to the actual camp time. The selected site is very private and open diaper wearing is possible during the day temperature permitting. Airport or bus stop pickup can be arranged in advance. More details will be posted as they become available. I am reachable for questions in the chat or private messages at this site. Froggy

As one who only discovered diapers as an adult as part of another fetish, enemas, and never had any diaper desires growing up, I had no idea I wasn't alone in the days before the internet. Today, I know that AB and DL congregate together simply because of the commonality of diapers and many swing the full spectrum from AB, Mommy/Daddy to DL. It gives me no pleasure to see anything baby related, to the point I rarely read a story with heavy AB content. The times I've tried to write some AB aspect into my stories has seemed forced and unnatural to me. My stash consists of simply diapers and enema equipment. I don't mind if a diaper is not white and merely prefer it to be up to the task for which it was sold. I have plastic pants but they are all white or black solid colors, nothing AB about them. Anyone else have these thoughts, tendencies or actions?

Quick Intro. Hiya hiya all. I am Reyna Campbell. I'm a young trans woman who lives in Columbus, Ohio with my Mistress/Fiancee. We have been together for almost a year and a half now and have been learning more and more about eachother everyday. I recently came out and told her that I have an interest in wearing diapers and being treated like a baby sometimes. She has been hesitant at first but then this happened... So after an all night chat with my Mistress about our different fetishes and such, I have got her extremely interested in my DL fetish. Enough so that today she let me order my first package of ABU Cushies and bought me a pacifier. She is finding it all very exciting and so am I. She called me Baby Pet today and I just went so wide eyed. This is so great and I am so happy about this recent development that I just had to post it. Thanks listenting to my super happy life developments. Much Love, Baby ReynaPet =^-^=

Hey everyone, I'm new to the site. I wore diapers in high school so I guess I'm returning to abdl. I recently bought some Abena Abri-Form X-plus medium diapers for my 34" waist and I'm having some trouble with them. It seems as if the waist is made for Small because the tapes don't wrap all the way around my body. I need some advice on sizing and how to put my diapers on. Can anybody help me? Baby Pablo

Hi, I have been wearing diapers for 9 years now. I have intersystal cystitis, which is a very painful disease where the inside of my bladder is raw and inflamed. It causes great pain and bladder spasms. I have been managing this disease with diapers and some medication. The traditional meds didn't work for me, but I am taking flomax and another for nerve pain. I joined this site because I wanted to make friends with others who wear diapers and to be able to talk about it openly. I am married and have 4 boys, they all know about my diapers, but I don't talk about it with them. Over the years I have grown to like diapers. I am not a "diaper lover" so to say, maybe a "diaper liker," but out of necessady. I think diapers are very cute and adorable. I enjoyed the time when my boys were in diapers. My youngest (5) was potty trained by age 4 (he took the longest). I have tried many, many, many different diapers and I am always looking for something new and better. I'm hoping that this site will help me with that. I look forward to your support!

Here is another try at posting this story. It was posted during the lost period in the forums this week. The story is complete, so enjoy. All feedback is appreciated. Roommates by Write and Left At long last I was starting college. No more of the oppressive rules I had to grow up with. No more being punished for something I could not help. I started to unpack before my new roommate got here. My mother had just left and I had to be good, as I did not want her to expose my secrets to the dorm. I pulled all my clothes out of my trunk and started hanging them in my closet. Then I took my supply of Depends out of the bags and put them in the trunk. You see, I wet the bed. This has been the source of many problems over the years and I want to keep it hidden. I then took a combination lock and locked the trunk. Now that my secret was hidden, at least until that night I arranged the rest of my room and got every thing organized. I did not want to argue with my new roommate, so I took the smaller desk and I set up my laptop. I checked that I could connect to the network and thus satisfied, I arranged my textbooks on the shelf above my bed. It was a small room, but I had only brought some clothes and my computer, so I was in good shape. I then made my bed. There was a plastic sheet on my bed and I bit my lip, embarrassed. "Did my mother tell them about my problem?" I thought. I glanced over to my roommate's bed. She had just stopped in, threw her stuff on the bed and went to the bookstore. "No, her bed has a plastic sheet too. They must have put them on all the dorm beds." I lay on top of my bed and stared at the stuff on hers. She had 4 boxes, 2 suitcases, and what looked like some computer equipment. She was still getting raped by the bookstore. I had some time. Maybe I should just peek in her suitcases. No, I would not do that. What if she looked through my stuff? I would not like that. During the brief period of time I saw her, (when we were assigned our room and she brought her stuff from her car) she asked me if I would go to Wal-Mart with her. I lay on my bed waiting for her. Her parents had taken her to breakfast before she went to get her textbooks. My mother took me straight to the bookstore after I unloaded my stuff. I did not argue with her as I had time to unpack. I was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. It was rather hot and I would rather be wearing less. However, I was embarrassed to not be covered more because of some things that happened back home. Since I started wetting the bed my mother made me wear diapers at night. I did not mind too much because it was more comfortable then sleeping in wet sheets. However as I got older, the punishments got worse. When I got to the age that the other girls were starting to shave their legs, my mother said I couldn't until I stopped wetting the bed. I got teased from that time until I graduated. I had some nicknames like Butch Beth and Harry-legged Liz. I also was never allowed to have makeup. When I started high school, on days that I wet the bed, I had to wear diapers starting when I got home from school. I did get a reprieve during times when we were out of the house, but when we got home again it was back in diapers for me. So today, I am not wearing diapers. I will tonight, but I need them tonight. I want to go to Wal-Mart today, so I can get some razors and stuff and finally be able to compete with other girls for boyfriends. The bedwetting thing will hurt my chances, but I do not think I can handle being called Betsy Wetsy and Butch Beth. I grabbed my computer and started playing Solitaire. I was on my 4th game when the door opened suddenly. My new roommate walked in with an armload of books and dumped them on her desk. She waved goodbye to her parents and closed the door. "Hi," I managed to stutter. "Sorry, I had no time to get introduced earlier," she said smiling. "I'm Vikki." "And I'm Elisabeth," I said. "You can call me Beth, if you do not prefix it with anything." "Oops, bad high school nickname, huh? Well I got to get unpacked, then we can catch the bus to Wal-Mart," she said. "How do you know where everything is?" I asked. "My older brother just graduated from here last year," she answered, "He told me where everything is." I lay down and started thumbing through one of my textbooks while she unpacked. She hung up all her clothes and pulled a TV out of one of the boxes and set it on here desk. She also set up her computer. The other boxes she just stacked on the floor of her closet. I did not get to see their contents. She booted up her computer, and with some minor swearing, got it onto the network and then checked the bus schedule. "Okay, its 15 minutes until the next bus." She glanced at my long sleeved shirt and jeans. "You have time to put on something a little more suited to the weather." "No, I am fine," I said. "Aren't you hot in that?" she asked me. "Yes, but I will change into something cooler, when we get back from Wal-Mart." "Okay, suit yourself," she said, "It gets hot here." We caught the bus and headed down to the Wal-Mart. I stocked up on chips and pretzels and then went to the beauty supplies. I headed over to the razors and grabbed some shaving cream and disposable razors and threw them in my cart. I then went to the make up area and selected some various items. "Girl, that is the wrong color for you!" Vikki said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Isn't lipstick supposed to be red?" "Well it depends on the person, but I guarantee that bright red lipstick does not go well with bright red hair. The eye shadow you picked clashes with your green eyes. Here get these instead." She selected similar items of more suitable colors. Here I was exposed as a make up buying rookie. The next thing I know she will find out about how hairy I am. I had to get prettied up. If I continued to be ugly and a bed wetter both, no one would ever like me. Vikki was nice so far. I hoped she would continue to be nice if she found out my secret. We got what we needed and headed back to the bus stop. We took the bus back to the dorm and went to our room. As I was unlocking the door, Vikki whispered desperately in my ear, "Hurry up! I really got to pee." I opened the door and she fled past me into the bathroom. I gathered my bathroom stuff together to take a shower and added in my new shaving cream and razors. Then I put the other stuff I bought away. I carefully stocked the refrigerator with the computer scientist's secret weapon: Mountain Dew. I knew I shouldn't drink it with the bedwetting, but not being allowed to drink sodas all these years did not make a difference one way or another in the number of night time accidents. She came out and said, "Hey, lets get a pizza!" "I am okay with a pizza, but can't we do it later, I need a shower now," I said. "Sure, go ahead," she said. "You look all sweaty. I told you to put on shorts." "I will be awhile," I said. "Are you sure you don't need anything in there?" "No, it is all yours," she said. "Go for it." I grabbed my stuff and headed for the bathroom. I peeled of the sweaty layers of clothes and got naked. "Goodbye, Butch Beth," I said and stepped in the shower. After washing, I smeared shaving cream all over my legs and pulled out one of my razors. I then started shaving. I never realized how hard it was. I never had a father to watch how he shaves his face, and women always shave their legs in the shower, so there is never an audience. I shaved off a big chunk of skin the first time. Then after a few nicks, I got the hang of it. I made it through with no fewer than five nicks and the big cut. Then I had to shave the other leg. This time it was easier. I got it done with only one knick. I was then done. I then looked down at my under arms. How was I supposed to shave those? After twisting myself like a pretzel I got into the right position and finally finished. I rinsed off and inspected myself for missed spots. Satisfied, I said, "Goodbye Butch Beth, Hello Pretty Beth." I smiled and then blushed. I hoped Vikki didn't hear me say that. I slid on the non-granny panties and matching bra I got at Wal-Mart and then put a little sleeveless number and khaki shorts on. I had them both and wore them a few times before, but I was always teased when I did so, so I stopped. Now with a few passes with a razor, I looked pretty, not ridicules. I cleaned up the bottom of the shower, which was now a hairy mess, and got every thing gathered up. My self-esteem was rising. I then tried to dab the bloody spot with some toilet paper. It was still bleeding a bit, but it was mostly stopped. It was worth it I thought. I came out and put my stuff away. "Did you just cut yourself in there?" Vikki asked. Does she notice everything? She problem guessed I am a leg-shaving rookie too. And she problem will find out about the bedwetting. This is too close of quarters to hide. What am I going to do? "I cut it a little bit," I answered, "Its stopped now." "Just be careful," she said, "Now I am ready for that pizza." We ate pizza and watched TV all afternoon. We also ran around the dorms meeting people and having fun until bedtime. I got separated from Vikki, and it was late anyway, so I went back to my room. I would have to figure out how to keep my secret a secret. How could I open my trunk and grab a diaper out and put it on without Vikki noticing. If I could get a five minute head start at getting to the room... I open the door and went in. I then notice Vikki had a diaper in her hands. Quickly I closed the door and went to confront her. She snooped through my stuff. My plans of keeping my bedwetting a secret were dashed to the ground. I was in shock. I went up to her and snatched the diaper away from her. "How did you get in my trunk?" I yelled. "You looked through my stuff. I hate you." I turned and ran into the bathroom where I fell to the floor and started balling. What is she going to think? I need diapers and still ball like a baby. My brand new make up was running down my face and now the whole campus would know in a matter of minutes that I wet the bed and wear diapers. Classes hadn't even started yet. Just now she was probably going down the hall waving my diapers around saying, "My roommate wears Depends! Look!" "Let me in!" I heard outside the bathroom door. I was still sobbing. If Vikki thinks I will forgive her... "Give it back!" I heard her yell. "Give what back?" I choked out through sobs. "My thing you took," she said in a lower tone of voice. I slowly opened the door. Her face was bright red. She seemed to be embarrassed. "Give it back," she said pointing at the diaper. "So you can show everyone in the dorm what you found in your roommate's trunk," I said, "I thought we were friends." "I don't know what you are talking about. I am certainly not going to show anyone," she said. "Fine. How did you get in my trunk?" I asked. "It was locked." "Are you saying you have diapers in your stuff too?" she asked. She seemed to feel a little better. "Yeah," I mumbled. I looked down at the floor. "See these are mine." she said. She showed me one of the boxes in her closet. It had two bags of Depends in it. One was open. I opened my trunk. My diapers seemed to be intact. "I guess I owe you an apology. I was trying so hard to hide my night time problem, that when I saw you with one, I only assumed it was mine and the whole campus would find out. I thought you would be mean to me too." "Well I guess there is no harm," she said. "At least we don't have to hide it from each other. I might have reacted the same way if I caught you with a diaper in your hand." I grabbed one of my own diapers. "Well we should get these on for bed then," I suggested. We our are diapers on the comfortable way. We put them on while lying in bed, instead of standing in the bathroom trying to get the tapes right. "Do you think the put the plastic sheet on our beds because we are both bedwetters?" I asked. "No," Vikki answered, "All the beds in the dorm have plastic on them. It's not just for wetters. People drink and puke on them and spill stuff. No one will think that." "Oh, I didn't think about that." "So tell me, was today the first time you shaved your legs or wore makeup?" "Um, yes." "I thought so," she said smiling as she reached to turn off the light. "No one could pick such horrendous colors or cut themselves that many times without being a newbie." "I would have, but my mother wouldn't let me until I stopped wetting the bed. I got called horrible names, like Butch Beth." "I don't think you look butch at all," she said, "I got called Icky Vikki all the time because I had an accident or two a year." "I've been there. I once wet on stage at state choir competition. Even even the choir director called me Betsy Wetsy. My name was Betsy Wetsy in the program for the next concert." "Ouch," said Vikki. "My mother would have put me in diapers for a week during the day as punishment for that." "Yours too?" I asked. "At least you could do things to be pretty. I had to wear shorts or dresses with hairy legs. I got teased left and right." "I am glad you are my room mate," Vikki said. "I am glad you are my room mate too," I repeated. "By the way, when we have exams, we should wear protection. There are no bathroom breaks during exams," Vikki said. "Well lets get some sleep," I said. "Okay, good night."

So I put on a teddy bambino and it feals great!!! ive been wearing it for a few hours now and its really absorbent, then I added a second one and man it feals AWESOME!!!! what are some of your expiriences with doubled diapers? or what are things you like to do such as doubling them up?

My, my... Hello everyone, I have been ageplaying for a long time, and actually have a bit of an obsession with it in that it pours over into my real life. It's about time I came to terms with who I am. I've always used babytalk around my grandmother for example, and still whine and talk like that around her, because she raised me like a mother. I do the same around my real mother but my real mother is more like a friend because I don't really know her...:C I always get the urge to cuddle with people, but it usually gets me in trouble because no one wants to cuddle a 19 year old girl, it's supposedly like flirting. My name is Katie, I am a real woman, not transexual, not sissy here, I really am a woman. I have no problem with trans or sissies, but so far I've been worried that I'm one of the few AB's who are actually women. I am 19 years old. Bisexual. In a relationship, but so far my little AB secret has been kept in the closet. My boyfriend enjoys ageplaying with me online, but I don't think he realizes the full extent of it, that I like to ageplay in real life too. I have never 'truly' ageplayed with a partner in real life yet, but I am sure I would love to and look forward to it. I do not wear diapers except as punishment, and I do not enjoy scat. I may enjoy a little watersports, and may wear plastic pants but not if I have to sit in it wet! Gross. I mostly like to be a child, but since I was a real little girl I've always wanted children of my own to baby so I can play the part of the Mommy too. There are several reasons "Why" I am what I am, but I don't feel the need to go into it unless asked. My personalities: 1) Moonchild, or Katie, age 5 to 16 (most often, usually 6 to 10) 2) Mommy, age 35 to 42 (sometimes) 3) Little/Big Sister (sometimes) 4) Babysitter (rarely) I'm looking forward to telling my boyfriend one day, and that he will accept it and sometimes play the role of my Daddy for me. Because 'Daddy and his Little Girl' is my favorite kind of playship. Sometimes Moon will dress up real glitzy and girly, other times, she's a total tomboy. I roleplay online a ton, and I expect top grammar, writing, as well as commitment from anyone who roleplays with me or wants to adopt me. Sorry, but it's the way it is. :/ The only exception is if I were to play the part of Mommy and adopt a little one. In that case, baby talk is okay. I am an artist, writer, and game maker. I am a furry and love anime, games, and reading. I love adorable little girl clothes and the colors black, white, red and gray. Aaaand, that's it from me I guess. Now, a word from Moon! Hello everyone! My name is Moon, and I just know that I'm going to love it here soooo much. Big sister Katie told me that she looked around here for awhile and that everyone seemed so nice and fun that she just had to join! As for me, well, hehe, I just go where she goes! Heeehee. I hope you all are as nice as she says you are! : O Because I'd love people to play with me! Hmmm....I like my sippy cup a lot cause it has a unicorn on it and Big Sister always fills it up with the most yummy juice! Yummmmmmyyyy. I also like my stuffed animals, especially my stuffed sheep Bob. Bob. I love you Bob! *nuzzles her sheep* Hehe. My favorite color is blue and I really like horsies. My favorite thing to play with is My Little Ponies : D Ooooh...uh oh, looks like big sister says I'm talking too much! Time for me to go now, it was nice to meet you! *giggles* -Moonchild And from Mommy: Well, my name isn't really Mommy, it's Caitlin. Haha. It's very nice to meet you all. I've always wanted to baby things since I was a little girl myself. I don't particularly enjoy changing diapers, but if my little sweety needs it I guess I have to! Most of all, I like holding my little ones in my arms and rocking them back and forth. Sometimes, I'll rest my head on top of theirs and sing them a little song. I would never hurt my child, but if they do something wrong they'll be told so. Children are my specialty, and any child of my own would be treated with the utmost care. Just hearing them tell me "I love you, Mommy," or seeing them look up at me with their big eyes is enough to warm my heart for a long time. -Mommy

My first 'mature' ABDL story. It's about a husband and a wife who have a problem. I hope to write a lot more after this, so I hope you like it! Finding Mommy 'This isn't working.' The statement didn't come as a shock to Andrew. He knew it wasn't working. But he didn't want to look like he didn't care, so he persued it, already feeling resigned and bitter about the discussion's inevitable conclusion. 'What isn't?' he asked, softly. 'This. This whole...baby thing. I can't do it,' his wife, Tammy, waved her hand in his direction. He winced, glancing down at his apparel. A slightly soggy diaper, and a t-shirt. He'd been wearing the same thing to bed every so often for a couple months now. His wife had initially chuckled and teased him playfully, but lately...lately the playful teasing had stopped. She wouldn't remark on his padded state, except if the diaper got too close to her. 'The tapes scratch my skin,' she'd explain, but Andrew suspected it was something else. She went on. 'I'm sorry. I thought I could. I know you really want this. But I can't do it. I can't...pretend you're a baby. The diapers were one thing...but...I can't do that,' she looked away, as if preparing herself to say something upsetting. 'You know...when you first told me...you made it sound...sound like a sex thing...I don't mind that. I don't even mind...using them, sometimes...like...like before...you know?' She trailed off, looking at Andrew, a pained expression on her face. Andrew's mind flashed back to when he'd first told her, almost a year and a half ago. How she'd been so...accepting. -------------------------------- 'Are these ones good?' Tammy asked, as she patted the package. 'I wanted to make sure I got good ones...I ordered these a few weeks after you told me...they just arrived on Monday.' Andrew glanced at the large box of diapers, feeling a stirring of excitement at the fact that she'd bought so many...a whole case, in fact. God, what was she planning? Was this going to become a regular occurence? Was she going to keep him in diapers, for the whole day? Or wear herself? His head swam at the possibilities. 'I...uh...what are they?' he asked, licking his lips, nervously. 'Abena?' Tammy replied, scrunching up her face, trying to recall something. 'I...Abena X-plus? They had so many different names, but I think these are the good ones. Abri-form L4...The large ones...I wasn't sure what size we'd need...Oh.' She suddenly stopped, pausing, as if worried about what she was going to say next. She reached into her (rather mysterious, to Andrew, at least) handbag, rummaging around. Andrew waited patiently for her to speak, his eyes darting back and forth between her and the large box on the bed. Abena X-plus was sure to be a world away from what he'd tried so far. He knew these were premium diapers. He felt himself jolt back to reality as Tammy started talking again. 'I bought...these...as well...' Another package slid onto the bed, only this time it wasn't boxed or freshly delivered. It was clearly a packet of diapers. A packet of OPEN diapers. 'On the site I got the...uh...Abenas from, they were selling purple ones, too,' she said, nervously. 'So...I got some of those, in a smaller size...' Andrew's mind could have exploded at that moment. Tammy stood up from the bed, an audible crinkling coming from her pyjama bottoms. Andrew couldn't believe he hadn't noticed the bulge of her diaper before, but he certainly noticed now. He stared at her rump almost hungrily as she turned sideways, looking coyly at him, grabbing the edge of her pyjama top and starting to lift it, revealing the purple waistband of the diaper. Andrew stepped forwards, reaching out. His hand ran over her bottom, slipping off her trousers, until she was standing in just a diaper and a shirt. He patted the material of padding, pulling her close to him, hand trailing around and around the crinkly undergarment, feeling it, feeling /her/ through it. 'I...I guess you like it?' Tammy asked, feeling a little awkward. Andrew made a noise halfway between a sigh and a groan. 'Yes,' he replied, simply. 'Would you like to wear one, too?' she asked, wriggling her bottom against his crotch, making him tense a little. 'Y...yes...' he gasped, hardly believing what was happening... 'Then lay down on the bed for me...' ----------------------------- That night had been amazing. Andrew couldn't believe his luck. They'd spent the whole evening in diapers, exploring and experimenting. It felt like his wildest fantasies had come true. This beautiful woman, his future wife (he'd chosen to tell her a little while after they got engaged), was willing to wear and use diapers for him. He couldn't believe it. She seemed almost as eager as him, that evening. She did everything he'd ever fantasized about, sexually. She wet. She asked for a change. She changed him...they even had...well. Andrew wasn't sure what to call it. Lots of rubbing. Wet, squishy diapers pressing together, then pulled aside for the 'main event'. Was that diaper sex? He supposed so. It was wonderful, whatever it was. He wondered if what happened next had been a turning point. At the end of the evening, when they were snuggled in bed, she'd sighed contentedly and lazily rolled out of bed. 'Be right back, hun,' she told him huskily, slipping out of the room in an instant. She'd returned, after a couple minutes, undiapered, her bottoms now back on. She'd smiled and gotten back into bed with him. ------------ 'Why did you take it off?' Andrew asked, a little confused. 'Didn't you like it?' Tammy dodged the question, but sounded just as confused as Andrew. 'Well...we're done now, aren't we? I'm really tired...I don't think you're up to going again, even I wasn't...' She paused, sidling up to him in the bed, absent-mindedly flattening the covers over her. 'Why haven't you taken yours off?' she asked, finally. 'I...Well. I just...thought I'd like to keep it on. That's...okay, right?' A few moments ago, he'd been certain it would be. It seemed silly even to ask. But now he wasn't so sure. 'Oh. Um. Sure,' Tammy replied, smiling again. 'I love you.' She kissed him, turning away, and Andrew slipped his arms around her from behind, murmuring 'I love you, too' into her neck. --------------- 'That was okay. It made me feel...sexy. I loved that I could have that effect on you. It made me feel good, too,' she thought for a moment. 'I felt like your partner, then. I felt like I was desirable, sexually, like...like this was a special secret, between us. Something for the bedroom, something kinky and fun. I didn't care that it was nappies, I knew people had fetishes...but this isn't just a fetish, is it?' Andrew swallowed as she fixed him with a steely gaze. 'Is it, Andrew?' He shook his head 'no'. It was more than that. He wished he'd explained before. He thought she'd understood. 'You...want to be a baby, don't you?' Andrew's mouth opened in protest. 'No! I mean...not all the ti-' Tammy raised a hand, cutting him off. 'I know. Not all the time. Not most of the time. Not forever. Just occasionally, right? Like when I tried before...but for real?' Andrew swallowed and nodded again. He remembered the brief times she'd tried to play 'Mommy'. -------------- 'Uh...crawl to me...come here, you naughty little baby...' Tammy's voice was strained, as she patted the top of her legs, calling Andrew over. Meanwhile, Andrew himself was feeling...well. He wasn't sure exactly. There was something a little exciting about the humiliation his wife was bringing to this role. He found something arousing about how she threatened to spank him, how she called him names and teased him. It felt, well, /naughty/, and he decided he sort of liked that. It was very erotic. But...he wasn't looking for this to be erotic. Something was wrong. He didn't feel like a baby; he felt like a naughty boy being punished. He didn't feel safe and looked after. He felt chastised and a little ashamed. He felt unspeakably adult, despite the baby bonnet and mittens he was wearing. Instead of an innocent little baby, he was some weird guy, crawling around, pretending to be an infant, calling his wife 'Mommy'. 'Crawl to me!' Tammy repeated. Andrew sighed, starting to move. 'Yes, Mommy...' ------------------- 'I thought that was really weird, but you know...' Tammy shrugged. 'I tried. For you. I thought you wanted that. I thought it was a sex thing still.' Andrew shuffled in the bed, feeling uncomfortable. He wished he hadn't worn to bed, now. He'd felt a pang when he'd gone to pad up; his case of abenas was nearly empty; her package of molicares was two thirds full. He hadn't expected her to use them of her own volition, but it was a reminder of just how infrequently she'd worn, for him or otherwise. 'Then,' Tammy continued. 'Then you told me that wasn't what you wanted, either. You wanted it to be more...innocent...more 'snuggly'.' That last word was almost a snarl, and Andrew felt himself flinch. 'So I tried that, too. But I couldn't do it...I mean...' she sighed, pushing the hair back out of her eyes, sighing in frustration. 'Remember what I told you when you told me this stuff?' ­Andrew nodded. ­­­ ----------------- 'Aren't I...doing enough?' Tammy asked, a look of confusion on her face. 'No! No, it's not that...it's more that you're doing it the wrong way...' Andrew immediately regretted his words, seeing his wife's expression turn sour. 'No! I mean...I...I think maybe I didn't really explain what I want, not properly. It's not just the baby stuff, dressing up and that...I want...' he swallowed, hesitant. 'Well...I want it to be more...um...innocent? Like...like...I was a rea...' he stopped himself. 'Like, more snuggly? You know? Maybe some...cuddles...at bedt- at night time...I'd like to be, um...held...sometimes...' Tammy stared at him as if he had just sprouted a third head. 'So...you want me to be like your real mother?' 'No!' 'As if you were a real baby, right?' 'I...No...I mean...it's not like you're my real mother...I...I just want you to...' 'To what? Look after you? Like an infant?' Tammy demanded, her voice even. 'I...I...in a way...yes...I just don't want it to always be so...sexual...' Tammy sighed. There was a silence before she finally spoke. 'Okay. Look. This is pretty weird to me. I'm not comfortable with it. But I love you, Andrew. I always will,' she looked up as she spoke, taking Andrew's hand in her own. 'But I don't know how to deal with this. I don't think I can...do that. I'm sorry.' 'Oh.' replied Andrew, simply. He hated himself at that moment. If he'd been honest from the beginning, maybe none of this would have happened. 'But,' Tammy started, nibbling her lip. 'BUT. I'd like to be okay with it. So...You can do something...something small...I don't know, you could wear a nappy to bed. And I'll try to get more comfy with the idea.' Andrew's heart leapt. Everything was going to be okay. --------------- Andrew's heart sank. Everything was going wrong. But Tammy wasn't done yet... 'I tried so hard to...to accept this. I started off like...like it was no big deal, remember? I used to tease you and you'd smile and for a bit, I thought maybe I could be okay with it. But then, then you started to...I don't know. Resent me? You pulled away. It wasn't enough for you. And maybe I pulled away, too. It hurt to see you wanting me to give you something I wouldn't, couldn't give you. It hurt to see you shut me out because I couldn't understand. So...now we're here...' 'Where is here?' Andrew said, asking, for the second time that night, a question which he really didn't feel he needed to ask, but if he didn't ask it, he knew it would appear he didn't care. 'Here? Here is...my husband wants to be treated like a baby...NON sexually...and I can't cope with it,’ she paused, seemingly thinking hard about something. Her mouth opened again, this time drawing out the sound of one little word, waiting for a statement to follow it. ‘So….’ Andrew swallowed. He waited for the crushing blow. He didn’t know what she would say, but he could guess. ‘So you can’t wear diapers anymore around me…’ ‘So I don’t want diapers in the house anymore…’ ‘So I don’t love him anymore….’ ‘So I /can’t/ love him anymore, and I think we need to get a divorce…’ He knew whatever was said next would change their relationship forever. He was about to lose something, he didn’t know what exactly, but he also knew life would be a lot harder without him. He looked up at her with grim determination, resigned to whatever awful things came out of her mouth next. ‘So…’ she began again, and Andrew felt himself stiffen, worry making his heart pound. ‘So I think we need to find him…find you…someone who can.’ Andrew gawped at her. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting at all. What was she saying? Was she leaving him? She must be… she was just being the wonderful woman she always had been, willing to help him find a more ‘appropriate’ mate, someone who’d be happy to indulge him. He felt his eyes sting a little as tears formed, before, in the silence, another possibility occurred to him. She’d been watching him closely, and seemed to notice as a flash of something, hope, realization maybe, passed across his face. He addressed her again, voice shaky. ‘Do you mea-‘ he was cut off abruptly. ‘I mean, just someone to do that for you, you know?’ Tammy explained, her voice emphasizing the word ‘that’ in a way that made it clear she found ‘that’ distasteful. ‘I…no sex. I’m not leaving you. I love you, I always will, I think. I hope. I just…I don’t know what to do. I’m scared, Andrew. And…I know this is so, so important to you. I see it, Andy, I see how much you want it…’ It’s her turn to look scared now, her eyes filled with tears, rolling freely down her cheeks. She’s shivering, but it’s not cold. Wordlessly, Andrew embraced her, his own manly sob joining her small, squeaking ones, her voice cracking as she tried to go on. ‘I…I don’t want to lose you…I’m…I wanted so badly to m…make you happy, but I CAN’T. I’m a horrible, awful wife. I’m a fuck-up. I…I don’t know why you married me!’ she howls, throwing herself into Andrew’s chest, his arms soothing her, rubbing her back, shh-ing her like you would a crying child. A tiny smile formed on his lips for a moment, as he considered the role reversal. But it was soon replaced by another kind of smile, the kind that happens when you realize maybe you’re not alone, that your partner is just as afraid of what’s happening as you. That he or she is afraid of the exact same things. It was a tearful, almost regret-filled smile. ‘If only we’d talked about this sooner…’ He shook his head, clearing his mind. Right now, he had to help Tammy feel better. ‘Ohh…oh hun…’ he said, his own voice wavering, fighting back another hard sob. ‘Shhh… you know, I’ve been worried about the same thing. I thought I was an awful husband. I wondered why you wanted to be with me. I didn’t understand. I thought…just now, you were going to leave me…’ Tammy jerked back, head snapping upwards to look at him, a look of something…hurt, Andrew decides. Hurt he’d think she would do that. Her face pink and flushed, her cheeks damp with too many tears. ‘Never,’ She retorted, instantly, and then she was back in his arms, crying anew. ‘Never…I…I NEVER want to lose you…’ Andrew smiled again, sighing, a little in relief. Of course, given her earlier outburst, he already knew that…but it was lovely to have confirmation. ‘I know Tam, I really do. Now, at least. But I want to let you know, I love you too. I don’t think you’re an awful wife…you’ve been so understanding. Please, don’t think I don’t love you, don’t think I resent you, or hate you or think ANYTHING bad about you, after you’ve tried so hard to fulfill me and my selfish, perverted desires.’ He felt her shaking her head, disagreeing, with the part about her trying so hard, or the part about his desires being perverted, or both, or something else…he wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter at that moment. ‘So I’m just telling you, no matter what, I’ll love you. I’d have loved you even if you said I could never wear another diaper. I’d have loved you even if you told me you’d stopped loving me. I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself…’ Tammy’s cheeks turned a little pinker, her sobs dying down. ‘Are you sure?’ she asks, not moving to look at him. ‘Positive,’ he says, more confident now. ‘Do you feel better now?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Are you ready to talk about…it?’ ‘…Yes.’ There was a pause as Tammy pulled away, slowly, reluctantly, so she could look at him. She smiled, her eyes wandering over him, as if appreciating him newly. When she reached the diaper her expression clouded, eyes flitting back up to his, as if just remembering they had something else to discuss now. ‘So…do you mean it?’ Andrew asked, anxiously. ‘Yes.’ He looked unconvinced, so Tammy continued. ‘I don’t have a problem with it. I really don’t. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, an-‘ ‘Why didn’t you ask me before?’ ‘Wh-what?’ ‘Why didn’t you ask me before?’ Andrew repeated, his tone not demanding or forceful, but genuinely curious. ‘I…well…’ Tammy looked away, embarrassed. ‘I was scared…’ ‘Why?’ ‘Well…first I was worried you’d say no, because she wouldn’t be me, and you wouldn’t be able to feel anything with her. And if you said no, I’d be out of options. I don’t know what would h-happen if…’ her voice broke again, eyes swimming with tears. Andrew frowned slightly. ‘What else?’ ‘I was afraid if you said yes, you would love her...too much. You’d leave me. Because you don’t love me at all, not anymore…how could you? I mean-‘ Andrew squeezed her hand suddenly, shaking his head, stopping her from working herself up again. ‘Not true, love. I want you. I love you. I’m not going to replace you. Even if I agree to this, I promise,nobody’ll never replace you…are you sure you’re okay with this?’ Tammy nodded. ‘Yes.’ ‘What…sort of things would she, uh, do?’ ‘I don’t know,’ Tammy admitted, seeming to shrink back a little. ‘I mean…change you? Give you bottles…pacifiers…play with you like a real baby.’ Andrew felt his heart flutter twice; once at the prospect of a genuine Mommy in his life, after so long… and once at the sudden feeling of utter love for Tammy that swept over him. ‘The ideal woman…’ he thought, snorting somewhere inside his head at how corny that was. ‘Would I be allowed to call her Mo…’ Andrew blushed, dropping his voice to a whisper. ‘Mommy?’ he finished, waiting. ‘Yes. Of course. I mean, that’s what you want, right? A Mommy? For the…the baby inside you? Just no sexual stuff. Please. I need that from you.’ Andrew nodded unhesitatingly. The thought of having sex with another woman (beyond occasional fantasies) had never even crossed his mind. He was missing an emotional, platonic, maternal bond, not a passionate sexual one. They both smiled a moment, almost in triumph. They were still together. This might just work out. ‘So…’ Tammy started, grinning now. ‘So…’ Repeated Andrew, a playful smirk joining hers. ‘What do we do now?’ ‘Now? Now we sleep. I’m so tired. I just want to be held. I’m so…worn out…’ she leant forwards again, nuzzling his chest, smiling softly. She sighed, a long, happy sigh, as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. ‘Okay…do…you want me to go change before we-‘ ‘No. I don’t want you to leave.’ Her tone was demanding that time, and Andrew chuckled. She wriggled, pulling the covers out from under them both, as they each shuffled and worked to lie down, his arms still wrapped around her. Their heads reaching the pillows, Tammy smiled wearily, shifting away a little, finding her husband’s body too warm for comfort. He leaned forwards and kissed her on the forehead. ‘Goodnight Tammy…’ ‘Goodnight…’ she hesitated, wondering if she was really going to say this, worrying he’d take it the wrong way. She stopped hesitating. ‘Baby,’ she added, one hand slipping down and squeezing the soggy bulge of his diaper. She watched his face for a reaction. Andrew blushed a little as she withdrew her hand. It was a simple, loving gesture. A show of acceptance. It hadn’t meant anything else. She wasn’t going to baby him. She didn’t see him that way. She didn’t want to be ‘Mommy’. She was his wife, and she was just showing how much she cared, how safe he was with her, how much she truly wanted him to be happy, even in this. At that moment, that was all that Andrew needed. He lifted his hand to squeeze her retreating one, smiling. ‘Thanks,’ he said, earnestly. With that, she sighed slightly and turned around, snuggling into him backwards. Tomorrow, she thought, was sure to be a very interesting day.