It's complicated! My father passed away 13 yrs ago and my mother lives 400+ miles away (my choice to move)
When I was in my early 20's my parents were going through a bitter divorce and they each used us (kids) like pawns against one another and I chose Mom's side. I began to hate my father almost as much as my mother did. After my father had finally moved out of the house, my mother turned on me and forced me to move out as well even though I was helping her with my younger siblings.
When I got married a few years later, I had to choose which parent to invite to my wedding. Everyone said that if I invited my Father, they would boycott my wedding. Nice, huh? So mom got the invite and the rest of the family attended but after the wedding I mended my relationship with my dad. Soon after, he remarried and he and his new wife moved from NJ to Florida. I would talk to him every so often but he mostly wanted to know how my mother was doing. I believe he still loved her and wished he could have her back. After a few years, his wife told me to stop calling because she believed my calls were upsetting him too much. Sadly, I complied and a year or two later, I found out that my father had passed away and she didn't have a funeral for him or tell either of his 2 sisters.
My mother on the other hand has always been a very negative person and has found fault in everything I do/have done. She couldn't even pay me a compliment on my wedding day without getting her digs in first. When my husband and I had the opportunity 24 yrs ago to move from NJ to NC, I jumped at the chance even though it meant leaving everyone I knew behind. Now, I talk to my mother on the phone 2-3 times a month, visit with her once or twice a year and I can shake off her negativity so much easier from 400 miles away. I love my mother but it is so much easier to love her from afar.