Goerge

carrier

I would rather have a tranquilizer needle in my ass so I'm zonked out drooling on my bib.

I'm watching Dexter on Paramount +

Plane.

Opps I think I pooped my nappy, oh well.

I love disability clothing.

There is nothing nicer then laying down on your back and feeling the worm pee dribble down in the seat/back of your nappy. It took me years but now I can wet in any position. I sleep on my side and can easily wet in that position too but because its only dribbling and gushes my nappy never get oversaturated and it can handle the wettings. I wake up multiple times a night and wet straight away then go back to sleep. My bladder is rather sensitive now so will wake up when there is a little urine in there. Unfortunately I'm not a bedwetter yet but I do uncontrollable wet when I've a quite a few beers, my nappy is always wet in the morning in that case and I can't remember wetting but have a full nappy.

I seen another psychologist last year and she did a capacity assessment to see if I understood things around money, I failed it and now have a similar thing to a Conservatorship. Social services now manage my finances, so now if I run out of nappies I email the social worker with what nappies I need and he purchases them for me with my disability benefits that he receives on my behalf. He also buys me anything incontinence related like my monthly supply of wet wipes. I just sent him the link to the website. I always make sure its a generic medical websites, wouldn't send him a link to a AB website like nappiesRus. If I want AB nappies I always purchase them myself. I think giving away my independence makes me feel more special needs and disabled. I have been fascinated with disability since early childhood, I was always jealous of the more disabled kids. I wanted to be like them. I guess this is a sign of BIID but instead of being psychically disabled I wanted to be mentally disabled. I have a long history of wearing nappies, When I was 11 it was decided by a child psychologist and social worker and foster parents that I could wear IC nappies overnight to bed. I was stealing IC nappies from school and when told off continued to do it. That is when I was diagnosed with the Attachment Disorder, I wore to bed overnight until I was 17. My foster mother told me pretty early on that I would become incontinent if I continued to wear nappies and since that day when I was around 11 years old I knew I wanted to be incontinent.

I would ask for complete incontinence, urine and bowel. I would constantly weep and dribble urine and have passive bowel incontinence, I would want to be heavily tranquillised so I'm confused and drooling, having to wear bibs. I would want sexual dysfunction so I wouldn't ever be able to get an erection again. To live in a nursing home and be cared for.

Say an intellectual disability and you would be cared for for the rest of your life living in a residential group home with paid staff? I have always longed to be looked after and cared for and loved. I have Attachment Disorder which stems from a very abusive childhood I experienced when younger. Apparently I had an intellectual disability from being a child, that is what was written in my school notes as well as me attending a special needs school from age 11 years old. I loved that school, there was only 3 other students in my class and we got to do community based learning, taken out in the teachers car and going into the country side. My desire to wear nappies started at 5, nappies having been a passion for me throughout my life, they help with me Attachment Disorder and really stabilise me. When I first joined DailyDiapers back in 2007 I was obsessed with wanting to become double incontinent, I was living alone with no support and I longed to be looked after and supported. I become unwell with psychosis in 2010 and was referred to the community intellectual disability team and a psychologist did a IQ test and I scored IQ69 which means I do have a intellectual disability and a mental age of a 9 year old, I was so happy with this. I sometimes which I had a MUCH lower IQ. I am now being cared for and well looked after in my group home. I have long binges of wearing IC nappies 24/7 and its known I suffer from IC. I don't hide the fact that I wear although I try and be discreet. This is the happiest I've been in many years. Would you opt for a lower IQ if you were to be looked after?

I don't feel embarrassed either. I live in a group home so can't hide wearing nappies 24/7.

I know after 16 weeks I'll hit the purge cycle and want to stop wearing 24/7. Thats how long I lasted last time. If some level of incontinence sets in I'll be forced to continue to wear nappies.

How to accept it? That is what I'm find hard. Acceptance.

is that voiding 3-5 large wettings? I wet in dribbles and gushes.

I want some level of moderate incontinence to set in so when I go through another purge I have to accept that I have to wear 24/7 to keep myself dry. I'm sick of binging and purging. I feel like I've progressed further this time as I can keep my sphincter from clenching in all positions and I do drip and dribble without the automatic clench reflex. My sphincter does always feel open and this is making me feel like I always have to pee even though when I do its a dribble. I can easily get 6 hours out a betterdry even when drinking load of fluids. Although I'm not a bedwetter yet I awake many times during the night and wet automatically and go back to sleep. I really need to active some level off urge incontinence or stress incontinence (hopefully both) in 16 weeks when the purge will set in. I'm going to keep my sphincters in their relaxed state. In a purge I'll stop wearing and then in a binge regret it. I do have posy void dribble and I leave skid marks in my underpants after doing a BM. This is from all my other binges so I think I do have weaker pelvic floor muscles. I just need them to get weaker and weaker, hopefully in 16 weeks then this will motivate me and accept I now need nappies.

I'm hoping my medical notes have incontinent written in them soon.

Nobody mentioned purposely weaken you pelvic floor muscles from continued disuse and it will take away your erections like it has done me. I never liked masturbating with a full erection and ever since a kid I just massaged my penis and when it got hard to stopped until it went down. 30 years later I hardly get hard on and also since I've been working on weakening my pelvic floor from wetting at the slightest urge this has also decreased my erections.

I have enough until my next auto delivery just before Christmas. These ones that were meant to be delivered were AB nappies and I purchased them myself. I get my team to order my medical nappies and purchase the AB ones myself.

My nappy delivery got delayed by a day. I hate when this happens.

And involuntary wet and mess yourself would you be seen as more mentally incompetent and disabled than say people who have full control? I really like the idea of being disabled and looking more mentally Incompetent. I'm already diagnosed with an intellectual disability and live in a group home so anything that enhances that is really appealing to me. I wear 24/7 and wet at the slightest urge and have been doing off and on for over 20 years (binge and purge) and have some level of incontinence and its known with my support staff that I wear nappies 24/7. I'm discreet about it as its only for wetting and I manage changing and hygiene independently. Only input I have off staff if I've leaked or something is sticking out. I'm going to push for fecal incontinence now, this is wear it gets more complicated as you can't really hide messing and I'm pretty much around people all the time. I have already put the ball into motion as when with staff when out shopping or meal or something I pretend I have stop what I'm doing and rush to the toilet, obviously they know its for a BM as they already know I'm in nappies 24/7 for urinary incontinence so they think I'm desperate for a BM. I'm going to start messing myself when ever the urge strikes without clench relax same as when I wet myself without clenching. I'm not going to mention anything after the BM and just go to the nearest toilet for clean up like nothing happened. Obviously they will know I've had a accident and if they mention anything I'll just say it was IBS. (They already know I have this) They will have some concerns and want me to visit the GP but I will put this off as long as possible until fecal incontinence is more developed. I'm already developing pelvic floor problems as I have leakage after a BM and can't wipe clean properly, Post void dribble which means I'm dribbling for2/3 minutes after having a BM on the toilet, I notice I'm dribbling after a large gush in my nappies. I wet at the slightest urge without clench relax, also I have erection problems like I can't get a full erection and Ejaculation isn't strong, more like a dribble. I also have a small bladder tone and urge to pee most off the time. My appointee (like a conservatorship like Britney Spears had) who manages my finances because I lack capacity already purchase my nappies for me so not a problem there. I really think its time to go full on incontinence. Does this sound like a good idea, I'm already becoming more incontinent, does it sound like I'm developing pelvic floor problems with what I mentioned above?

wet better dry L10

I don't have a therapist but see psychiatric community nurse who monitors my mental health condition. I've had him as my community nurse for 7 years am pretty comfortable with him and being around him. These nurses are holistic so cover all things to do with you health and well-being. He brought the subject up over a coffee why I don't ever talk about my sexual needs and how do I define myself, he knows I'm out as gay but would prefer a platonic relationship and he asked me if I ever masturbate which I told him I do sometimes. He brings the subject of fetishes up and told me he worked with people who like to pee themselves and its okay too do that. I knew straight away he was referring about me and I think he was trying to make me feel comfortable and open up to him about my nappy fetich and wettings and messings. I didn't feel ready as I think me liking nappies and wanting to wear 24/7 and become incontinent is a private thing that I don't feel ashamed about or embarrassing about so don't need to discuss it. I know they know that I wear nappies 24/7, my community nurse might know its a fetich but I want to be identified as double incontinent not as a fetishist. One time when I got involuntary hospitalised I had to ask another nurse to enter my bedroom in the group home and bag up the used incontinence nappies on my floor and take them to the dustbin for disposable, I was worried about them festering while I was in hospital and she did that for me with no questions asked. Also I have something called a deputy which means I lack capacity with my finances, similar to a Conservatorship what Britney Spears had in the States. I got the person who manages my disability benefits to set up a auto order every 28 days for delivery of my incontinence nappies and wet-wipes. The group home staff know about my nappy wearing but its never talked about. They sometimes tell me if I've leaked or if something is peaking out. I don't purposely expose my nappies and try to be discreet but I know its known. I'm totally independent with changes and hygiene. I also use very clinically smelling wet-wipes to clean myself every time I change. The other people in the group home also know about my nappy wearing. They are okay with it. The reason why I live in a group home is because I have an intellectual disability. I have always had this need to be cared for and looked after. I've been interested in intellectual disabilities since I was 10 when in the foster home I was in at the time my foster parents always talked about how wonderful the other foster child was and he couldn't help his behaviours because he was disable. I already had a nappy fetish at that age and I thought to myself I wish I was disabled like the him and be given love and attention which I had lacked during my early childhood.. This is why I have BIID around wanting to be intellectual disabled and have a low mental age and be looked after and cared for. I achieved this as I now live in a group home, I had a IQ test and scored a low score. So know I have a intellectual disability and am living the dream. I'm transitioning into total double diaper dependency and when this is achieved I'm going to get it put on my medical records, I'm going to have a yellow continence dustbin on the group home complex to dispose of my incontinence waste so its known in the community that an incontinent person lives at this property. And then I'm going to start wearing my leather special needs helmet in the community when I go with my support staff. I'm happy.

I read that some people who go though the transition end up urinal incontinent from the operation.

How fast would a persons continence slip if they were wearing 24/7 and wetting at the slightest urge without clenching the muscle, wetting in small dribbles every 10 minutes. Sphincter muscles feels in an open position all the time but sometimes spasm when dribbling but then go back into open mode. Also this person suffering from post void dribble. How fast does sphincter weakage happen in this case if I continue to do this. I should add I now have a over active bladder from wearing all the time, feel like I need too pee all the time.

This is the site with more detail. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/14713012221116490