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So, I almost debated on if I should have just waited until I could post this chapter on Friday (being Friday the 13th and all), but this story still has a bit to go and I'm slightly debating on writing a short story or not for Halloween. I was originally going to write one about magic and other fantasy things like that, but this story is taking longer than I thought when I first started it, and by the time that story would be finished, it would almost be Thanksgiving at best, which kind of defeats the Halloween theme and all. I'm still debating if I should write the other short story, but I still have some time to think about it. Let me know if you would like to see a one-off outbreak type of short story. Moving on, this chapter now marks the end of Part III. Again, there's a toal of six, so congrats to everyone on making it halfway through. Additionally, feel free to ask any questions on here about the story. I know that sometimes with these long stories, little bits can be forgotten about after having read the first chapter a few weeks ago now. I don't like harping on ideas in my story, so I would rather answer a bunch of questions when I can, rather than for any of you to be confused about something. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter and final section of Part III! Chapter 13: An End and a Beginning One surprisingly crisp afternoon, the entire group of Littles found themselves outside and enjoying the traditional end of term party and anticipated choosing ceremony. It wasn’t anything fancy as far as most galas were concerned, but it didn’t matter to any of the partygoers. It was a time to celebrate milestones and prepare for the next phases of each of the Little’s journeys. For those Littles like Matilda or Eddy, whom Patrick had only grown closer to, it was also a time to say goodbye, at least for now, to the friends they had made here. “Please don’t cry, Eddy,” Patrick tried to console the tearful Little in front of him. “Buh… you’re leavin’. I don’ wan’ you to go!” The Little clung on the ground to Patrick’s leg. It was a pitiful sight, but Patrick only rubbed his back and did everything he could to hold back a smile as he actually felt at least part of Eddy hugging his leg. “It will be okay, Eddy. You’re going to see your new caretaker soon. Isn’t that exciting?” Matilda pried Eddy off Patrick’s leg and helped him up. After wiping a tear away, Eddy nodded slowly. “Yeah… buh’ I don’ wanna leave you. You’re my fwiend…” Feeling a little jealous of the attention, Matilda piped up as well. “We’re all friends, Eddy. Right, Patrick?” she asked, a desperation to be right palpable in her voice. Patrick didn’t know much about where Matilda had come from, but from what Eddy had haphazardly implied one day, finding a group of people to call friends was a big deal to her. So, despite the unknowns of the future, Patrick knew he needed to give all of them some glimmer of happiness for their future together. “Oh, absolutely. You two have given me hope in this program and I don’t want to lose you all in my life. Besides, we can just look each other up afterward, right? That’s allowed… isn’t it?” he asked with some uncertainty. Addy just happened to be walking by and checking in on all the Littles and spoke up. “Yes, Patrick. In fact, we actually encourage you all to maintain your connections with each other after all this. Could make for some cute and fun playdates with you all!” “Addy…” Patrick groaned, obviously feeling embarrassed over her insinuations. She was a wonderful nurse, but Patrick couldn’t help but feel there were times where she wished that she could adopt him. He would have brought it out in the open, but he was too scared of being wrong or for her to freak out and take him away right then. Redge’s time in his life may have been brief, but he was still bearing some of the emotional scars from that horrible day. So, for the time being, he would just groan or slightly complain if she ever implied that he would be like Matilda, or worse, Eddy, when he left here two months from now. With any luck, it might just be enough to dissuade her from doing anything rash, or at worst, prevent her from regressing him fully if she did something they both might regret later. Acknowledging their desire to be left alone now, Addy then just simply waved and left the trio. Once out of earshot, Matilda turned back to her friends. “I’ll make sure Dr. Halgen and my caretaker know that we want to talk after tonight. I don’t think anyone would object to something like that,” Matilda said. “For all we know, they might even push us to do something like that.” “Yeah… I think you’re right. So, yeah… we should be good.” Patrick then turned directly to Eddy. “See? All is going to be okay. Just take some breaths and before you know it, you’ll have a caretaker all to yourself and friends you can still see after all of it.” Eddy grinned widely and the trio kept talking for most of the night. Patrick could have opted to hang out with his friends from his group, but he doubted that he would get to see Matilda or Eddy until he had left Psyche as well. His friends in group were wonderful, but he knew that he would be seeing plenty of them for the foreseeable future. Before each Little could be presented and announce who they would select as their caretaker during the official ceremony later, the Littles were to be shuffled off to ensure they were well-fed, had clean diapers, and generally weren’t dirty. Due to the precarious and often temporary nature of these protocols, the less regressed Littles went first, so Matilda was called off to be checked on her own. Alone, and after a little casual conversation, Eddy suddenly became more serious, as opposed to his more traditional goofy nature, and then turned to Patrick. “Patty? I jus’ wan’ to say dat you were really awesome to me.” Patrick smiled and even blushed a bit. “Well, I appreciate that a lot, Eddy. You were one of the good ones around here too.” Eddy remained serious. “No… I’m bein’ sewious… a wot of other Littles haven’ tweated me the best. When I goh’ here, I was awl awone… Matty was gweat, buh’ she… she had other tings to wowwy about… but you… you were diffwent.” It was now Eddy’s turn to blush. “So, tanks…” Patrick smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “It was the least I could do, buddy. You helped me a lot in all this. Made me see it as less of a hardship and more of a… vacation of sorts.” Patrick couldn’t help but see his friend’s still serious face. “I mean… you are happy, right?” Eddy surprisingly took a second to think about his answer. Unlike most days, in this moment at least, Patrick swore that he could see a glimmer of who Eddy might have been before all this. “I… I am happy, buh’ dere will always be a part of me dat wishes I was who I was befo’ all dis.” The answer unsuspectingly slammed into Patrick with its full weight right into his chest. “Oh? I never thought I would hear those words from you… you always just seemed so… happy.” Eddy sighed and briefly tugged at his romper’s right sleeve. “Don’ get me wong… I love my life. I jus’ wish dat some stuff woul’ be diffwent. Wike my talkin’. I miss the ol’ way, buh’ I mos’ of the times, I jus’ have ta accept it. People go cwazy for a lot less awound here you know…” “I guess.” Eddy’s words of doubt, however fleeting or accepted they now were with the Little, still rattled about in Patrick’s head. “Do you have any regrets?” Eddy pondered and even traced his lips with his thumb for a moment. If Patrick hadn’t known any better, Eddy almost seemed as if he had a strong desire to suck on it. Finally, though, he spoke. “I…” “Eddy! We’re ready for you now!” one of the nurses called out from the top of the back deck nearby. Eddy shook his head and seemed to almost move on as if they had just been talking about the latest cartoon show they had watched the other. Much to Patrick’s surprise, he actually found himself enjoying it a bit. “Oh! Dat’s me,” Eddy beamed. “I guess we can always talk later, wight?” “I guess… but you should go… looks like you could really use a change,” Patrick said, now pointing to Eddy’s clearly bulging diaper underneath his playfully adorned onesie. Since his arrival here and especially after wearing one himself, he had gotten more used to the idea of them, but he still couldn’t understand why some of these Littles almost seemed to not care when, where, or even if they were changed or not. “Oh… wight! One diapy change comin’ up!” Eddy then toddled off but briefly turned back toward Patrick and gave him a cute and tiny wave. “See you later, wheely man.” Patrick waved back at his friend and Eddy soon disappeared from view. Mulling over his spiced apple cider, Patrick wandered around the backyard in his wheelchair and admired the lantern lights overhead and the persistent smell of grilled meats and vegetables. According to Dr. Halgen, winter ceremonies were held indoors, but they would try to stay outside as long as they could to enjoy the beauty of the surrounding areas. He had wondered if their ceremony in two months would be held outside as well, but it was still a way off. For now, though, looking around at the distant mountains and tiny town at the bottom of the hill, Patrick couldn’t help but agree with the notion of holding the ceremony out here, no matter how cold it would be. “Hey there, stranger,” Cara said wheeling over to where Patrick was standing. She still used her wheelchair lately to prevent her from collapsing over long distances or times, but she had recently begun to walk around the house, much to the delight of all, even now including Patrick. “Hey, Cara,” Patrick replied. “Enjoying the party?” Cara finished a sip of her own drink. “Eh. I’ve been to better, but still… feels kind of weird, huh? Them leaving and all. I mean, tomorrow, we’ll be the second group… part of the more progressed Littles. So strange to think about when we first came here and saw all of them…” “I guess…” Patrick took another swig of his drink. “On one hand, it doesn’t feel like it’s been a month, but on the other… just look at everyone.” The pair of Littles then scanned the crowd and saw the rest of their friends and group. “A month ago, and barely anyone was standing, and Quentin looked like he was going to keel over at any minute. Look at him now…” Cara did and saw him dancing with one of the Littles from the next more progressed group that was about to start their third month here. Her hair was grouped into a pair of pigtails on the sides of her head and her flowy pink dress did little to cover up the fact she was thickly diapered, something that Quentin didn’t seem to be aware of or at least mind. “At least he’s happy,” she mused. “Remember when we first met him? I swear that man didn’t say anything that he couldn’t cite directly from a textbook or a lecture.” Patrick chuckled. “Yeah. So glad he’s changed since then.” He then paused and stared once more back at Quentin and the other Little. “Makes you think though… She could be us in a month. I mean… I’m wearing diapers and it’s only been a month. What will someone like me be after two or even three months in a place like this?” Patrick then shuddered. “Makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.” “I suppose…” Cara said somberly. “I try not to think about it too much, but maybe we just need to go along with whatever happens. Standing or curative measures for all of us seem well worth the little sacrifices… don’t you think?” Patrick hesitated to answer but as he saw the happiness on all the other Little’s faces, regardless of what they were wearing or even acting like, he only nodded. “I guess we came here to grow and heal. Maybe some of this could just be considered a different form of therapy.” A nearby Little squatted briefly but then just went back to eating their hot dog. “A little weird though…” “Therapy… yeah, I guess. Maybe it will be the next new fad in L.A.?” Cara sarcastically joked as she smiled and watched the same scene unfold with the pants pooping Little as Patrick had. Patrick nodded and smiled back at her joke. “Very true. Knew a few people who would probably would have leapt at this chance. Especially when the portals first opened. A different time…” “Yeah… swear that’s why half of us are even here in the first place.” Cara then lowered her voice. “Some damn holdovers with pollution or lack of maintenance or improvements to something.” She then paused and seemed hesitant, but just took a breath and continued. “You really think your accident would have happened if their technology had been on that road in the first place?” Patrick had often thought about it. That stretch of road of his accident was costly to upgrade or repair even when not dealing with new portal technology, so it was one of the few roadways without warning lights, focused and more intense streetlights that didn’t give off light pollution, or even a slicker and more resistant road. It was all in the past now, but Patrick always came back to the same question; ‘what if?’ The two continued their conversation for a little while longer until Dr. Halgen shockingly called Cara over to speak with her. Before Patrick could join her though for some morale support at least, Matilda popped back and inadvertently stopped him. “Hey there! Miss me?” A strong smell of baby powder immediately washed over Patrick. Patrick let Cara go and refocused on his other friend in front of him now before waving his hand in front of his face. “Whew. Got all fresh I take it?” Patrick asked as nonchalantly as he could while also trying not to cough everywhere from the almost wafting cloud of powder that had arrived with Matilda. Diaper usage was just the norm around here and his developed rapport with Matilda and Eddy had swiftly broken down his embarrassment over talking about them so openly. “Oh yeah. Nothing too bad before, but I’m all clean and ready to go now!” Matilda exclaimed, her flowery dress swaying around as she moved to the soft and distant music being played for the party. “You know… I’ve been meaning to tell you something…” “Oh?” Patrick asked, leaning in a bit. “Is it a surprise?” Matilda stopped twirling about for a moment and suddenly looked serious. “This is actually important, Patrick.” “Oh… one of those talks,” Patrick said glumly upon the realization of what direction this conversation was actually going to take. Matilda nodded. “I want you to enjoy yourself with these Bigs while I’m gone. I know it’s hard to sometimes and you’ve had some absolutely rotten luck, but there are some good ones here. If you want to survive or even be happy here… find them.” Patrick looked around and saw many intimidating Bigs who had also been invited to the party. None within his view even seemed remotely approachable. “Any suggestions?” Matilda saw what Patrick was seeing as well and shrugged. “Well maybe not around us immediately, but there’s always Dr. Halgen.” Parick’s eyebrows raised in disbelief over his friend’s suggestion. “Yeah, yeah, I know. A bit of a stern taskmaster perhaps, but she’s loyal to us in a way I didn’t think possible when I first came here and encountered a Big. Stay on her good side and she’ll bring an army behind her if she needs to in order to bail you out of something.” “Maybe…” Patrick mused, now actually thinking hard back onto some of the recent events he had been witness to with her. “Now that I think about it, I’ve been seeing that more lately. Particularly after… Redge.” Patrick still shuddered a bit at the name. “I thought she was going to blow a gasket and then strangle him herself when she confronted him the day after Addy told her about him.” “Yeah… she gets like that when someone as evil as he was pops up around here. I actually heard a rumor that she once kidnapped an abusive Big that had threatened one of her Littles and regressed him in the basement… or at least that’s the rumor. All I know is that the authorities officially called it an ‘emotional breakdown’ and all, truth or otherwise. “Geez.” Patrick looked over at Dr. Halgen slowly sipping her drink and talking to Bruce now, Cara now having scampered off to the safety of their friend group. “Maybe Bruce as well, but that’s still only two.” Matilda nodded. “Yeah. Definitely, Bruce, but… if you’re willing, Samantha and Lloyd also seem like good people. You can trust them.” Patrick scratched his head and debated about his two new potential caretakers. “Eh. I’m not sure, but wait, how would you know about them? I thought you were with Emily?” “Well…” Matilda shifted about uncomfortably, “Samantha used to be one of my caretakers… well, at least one of the candidates.” Patrick nearly choked on his drink. After a moment, he managed to catch his breath. “She… you…? What happened?” “Nothing really… we just didn’t click in the way I wanted a caretaker to click with me.” She took a sip of her own drink and then continued. “Samantha, and even Lloyd, when he came over to her house at the end, were great caretakers, but they weren’t what I needed. Almost too loving for me. I’m not the ‘hugging it out all the time’ type of girl, you know?” Patrick nodded. “Yeah, well Emily gets that. I mean honestly, we’re almost more of friends than true caretaker and Little, but we both like the arrangement. She gets to indulge in her ‘mommy side’ or whatever without all the extra bits, and I got this program and someone, a cop even, to protect me. Gotta find what suits you best, right?” Patrick nodded but mostly just blinked at what she had just told him. After a minute, Patrick spoke back up. “So, Lloyd visited her at her house…?” Matilda sighed with a great deal of annoyance. “That’s what you got from all that?” She groaned but after throwing her hands up into the air, still gave in. “Yes, everyone knows they’ve got a thing for each other. Been going on for years. As usual, they seem to be the only ones who still don’t know. Typical...” The gears in Patrick’s head started clicking together at the notion of those two together. He had only seen them once in the same room together, but there had been… something there. Seeing Matilda’s annoyance over the subject though, Patrick decided to just move on rather than ask the million or so other questions that he had about them. “So, anyone else?” Matilda looked hesitant for a moment. “I’m not sure if I should say this… but,” she sighed, “there’s always… Addy.” Patrick smacked himself on his head. “Oh, geez. Of course, Addy! How could I have forgotten about Addy?” Patrick still saw Matilda’s contorted face at the sound of her name. “Wait… is there something more I don’t know about her? I’ve been suspecting something with her, but… why all the hesitation? Wait… is she poisoning me or something to reel me in as her Little?” “Uh, no… well, I don’t think so, but… damn it… I really shouldn’t tell you this…” she then took a breath. “Addy has a thing for you as well… like she wants to be a caretaker to you…” “Oh…” Having considered her a candidate at one point, despite not even being sure if that was possible, hearing it out loud need seemed… odd. For whatever reason, and he wasn’t sure why, Addy didn’t seem like a caretaker to him, or at least not in the same way as Lloyd and Samantha had. “Should I do something? Is that against the rules or… should I just wait this out?” Matilda shook her hand at the notion. “No, no. Not against the rules at all. Just… be careful of what you say to her. She’s no threat, but she’s also your nurse here. Use her to help you through things, but unless you’re serious about considering her as your caretaker, be careful how much you tell her or rely on her emotionally speaking. She’ll be in your corner no matter what, but the rest… it could just get sticky. In fact, if you did go through with it… she could lose her job. And she’s one of the good ones, so, don’t take the leap unless you are absolutely sure.” Patrick nodded but still saw a grave look on Matilda’s face even after all that she had just told him. “Is there something else? You look like you just found out that D.C. was bombed or something like that from back home.” Matilda’s eyes bugged out. “Oh, no, no. Just…” she sighed. “Emily… my caretaker… being one of the local police and all... Well, she was talking about a few things, and I overheard, though I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to when I was over at her house the other day.” Patrick quickly panicked. “What did you hear? Was it something about me?” “Well… one of the reasons I told you to get some Bigs in your corner before… it was to help you, but she said that Redge fled the country and they’re not sure where he is anymore.” Patrick could feel a lump form in the back of his throat and his immediately began spinning. “Redge… well, what should I do? Do others know about it? Am I in danger? Are we all in danger? Should I ask for protection or…?” Matilda quickly reached out and gripped Patrick’s shoulder to steady him with this sudden burst of unwelcome news. “Woah, buddy. Take a sec and breathe.” Patrick did so and some color quickly returned to his face. “Like that, yes. Now, I know a bunch of others are aware of the situation around here.” She quickly scanned the crowd around them. “Definitely the nurses and the rest of the staff, so you’re covered there. Tell the others if you want, but I just wanted you to be informed before I leave here. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but that man is dangerous. Very dangerous for us Littles.” Patrick unconsciously rubbed his butt from where he had been spanked. “Yeah… I know…” “No… not everything about him, so just be extra careful. He still has a lot of resources, and he doesn’t like to be told ‘no.’ It’s gotten him into trouble before.” Matilda sighed. “One of the reasons that Dr. Halgen expanded her search criteria is because she realized she missed a few bits on his background check.” She then looked away for a moment to compose herself. “There was a Little… she told him no when they were in a mixed high school together and he offered to take care of her after graduation.” Matilda then had to breathe for a moment and for a second, the words refused to escape her lips. “The…they found her three days later… completely regressed. Couldn’t say her ABC’s even, let alone… well, what had happened to her. Everyone suspected Redge, but… you know, money and power…” Her voice then trialed off and she even looked over to the crowd of Bigs where she had comfortingly spotted Emily. Patrick was near speechless and couldn’t believe that a man like that had even gotten near to this place. A fear gripped his insides and twisted a knot that couldn’t easily be undone. “Thank you for telling me… I have no idea what I’m going to do, but… I’m glad you told me.” Matilda smiled sympathetically at her friend and wished she could do more for him. “Just be careful. I won’t be here, but feel free to just call me if you ever need help, or even if you just want to talk. Emily can do a lot around here, and I even used to be a…” “Bigs! Littles! The ceremony is about to start!” Dr. Halgen then announced on the main porch, now outfitted to look like a stage in front of the back lawn where the party had been taking place. “Oh, shoot. That’s me. I gotta go, but just remember what I said, and you’ll be fine!” Matilda then shockingly leaned in quickly and gave him a peck on the cheek before scampering off to get in line with the other Littles officially choosing their caretakers tonight. Patrick touched the spot where she had kissed him and felt a tiny warmth grow in his heart. It wasn’t enough to overwhelm the knot of fear that persisted, but it was enough to give him a tiny respite and moment of happiness. For that at least, he was glad. Not long after, Patrick gathered with his group and eyed the main stage. “Good evening, everyone! It’s my pleasure tonight to introduce you to our next group of fully healed Littles. We here at Psyche are dedicated to the progress and healing of all, but as I’m sure you all know, this comes at a price. This is price comes into play tonight, but don’t think of it as a shackle of imprisonment as some may view our society. Think of this price instead as a ticket to your new lives!” The crowd that had gathered around the stage then applauded. Patrick quickly spotted several Bigs looking eagerly at the Littles lined up behind Dr. Halgen, amongst them were both Emily and Bradly. There were other viewers as well, but curiously, Patrick also noticed that several of their group’s nurses weren’t amongst them. It seemed odd that they would miss this ceremony, but he could only shrug his shoulders and turn his attention back to the main stage. Soon, four of the other Littles went and each proudly had announced their caretaker, eliciting a round of applause and a tender moment between the Little and their chosen Big. Some of the Bigs that Patrick had seen previously quickly excused themselves and some had even run off crying, obviously over having not been chosen by their desired Little. For a moment, Patrick almost felt bad for them after hearing what they had to go through to get here in the first place, but finally, it was time for Eddy and Matilda to go. Eddy was first and stepped up to the stage, now dressed cutely in a pair of pants with suspenders that wrapped up around his white button shirt and tiny striped bowtie. Patrick briefly wondered if this was how Eddy had dressed, sans the obvious snaps in the pants and diaper bulge, before all this. Despite being friends, he had almost never discussed his past. “And here we have Eddy!” Dr. Halgen announced, as the crowd lightly clapped as they did for all new introductions to the next Little in line. “And Eddy… who are you choosing tonight?” Without hesitation, Eddy leaned into the offered microphone still in Dr. Halgen’s hands and proudly announced, “I choose Bwadly!” The entire audience cooed over his speech impediment, as if it was a token of accomplishment, and then furiously clapped. The man that Patrick had often seen with Eddy then ran through the crowd and grabbed Eddy up from the stage. The two hugged in each other’s arms for a good while and then disappeared back into the crowd to watch the rest of the ceremony, now together. Seeing them like this, Patrick seriously doubted that Bradly and Eddy would part after five years. ‘Would Matilda be the same? Or their group? Or even himself?’ “Next up,” Dr. Halgen continued, breaking Patrick’s thoughts of the future, “we have Matilda!” Matilda then walked forward and her newly curled hair and dress seemed to delicately move in the oncoming fall breeze of the night. “So, Matida… who are you choosing tonight?” Matilda then proudly beamed and pointed into the audience before her. “I choose Emily!” A tall woman then dashed through everyone before her and met Matilda on the stage with the widest smile Patrick had ever seen before. True to form, instead of the usual cradle or hug that Patrick had become accustomed to seeing with the other Littles, the two then danced it out on stage for about a minute. The whole scene only ended when Dr. Halgen stepped back up and Matilda hugged Emily’s leg. “Yes, yes… very, uh… interesting…” Dr. Halgen commented as the two then happily exited the stage together. “Yes, well… that concludes the selections tonight. For those of you still here that weren’t selected, I am deeply sorry, but to you and to those watching from around the country or even the world, we remind you that you still are or may even be approved soon to become a caretaker. Tomorrow, we’ll be bringing in a new batch of Littles, and let me tell you, many of them are just absolutely adorable! For now, though, I want to thank everyone and the staff for making this night a reality! It means a great deal to all of us here at Psyche New Beginnings! Happy choosing day everybody!” The remaining crowd then broke into a thunderous applause. Patrick, however, barely registered what was happening. It had been that way now for about a minute since Dr. Halgen had first announced that this ceremony was being broadcast elsewhere. In sheer terror, his head darted about and quickly saw the cameras perched high above everyone, including the Bigs. From where he was at, he knew that the cameras had a perfect view of him to be broadcast all over the world. Barely registering it, a small spur of pee escaped into his slowly dampening diaper, a fact that Patrick had scarcely noticed throughout the night. Without another moment’s hesitation once he broke from his terrified stupor, he then quickly darted behind a clump of bushes to hide from their watchful movements, the red blinking lights indicating that they were still broadcasting whatever they captured to any discerning viewer. Moments later, Dr. Halgen walked by. “Dr. Halgen! Dr. Halgen! I need to see you!” Dr. Halgen stopped in her tracks and saw the hiding Little. “Oh? Patrick, what are you doing behind these bushes? Are you playing a game with your friends?” she cooed. Dr. Halgen smiled sweetly, but then got a better view of him as she came closer and saw his frightened expression. “Oh, Patrick, are you okay? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?” Her voice quickly became angrier as she scanned the audience for the perpetrator who harmed one of her Littles. “I… no, but the cameras!” Patrick exclaimed, pointing to the blinking devices just beyond and above where he was hiding. Dr. Halgen immediately looked relieved and smiled as one would do to a child with an overactive imagination. “Oh, Patrick. You silly boy. Those can’t hurt you. We just want to show the world what we’re doing here.” Patrick quickly remembered back to what Matilda had told him about Redge’s disappearance. “Aren’t you worried about streaming to the whole world? Isn’t that a security risk? You know… with him?” Dr. Halgen crouched down to his level and patted him on the shoulder. “Nonsense, Patrick. I think you worry too much about things. You’re still thinking like your world.” She pointed back at one of the nearest cameras. “Here, our firewall security is easily ten times what yours is back on earth by at least a factor of 10. Plus, even if… that man ever was to come trapsing back to this area, he would have to dodge the police and our security. He won’t get within ten feet of you. I personally will promise you that, okay?” Patrick’s mind still raced and wanted to point out all the flaws in her logic. “But…” She patted his shoulder again. “Relax… just relax and enjoy yourself tonight. Besides, I think I see your friends calling you over,” she said pointing to a waving Ian nearby. “Go on.” Dr. Halgen then stood back up and gave him a pat on the back and quickly sent him over to his friends. Ever vigilant though and knowing that Dr. Halgen wouldn’t listen to him any further for tonight at least, Patrick made sure that his back was at least turned to where the cameras were pointing so that his face couldn’t be seen. With a sigh, he knew that Dr. Halgen was many things, but he also couldn’t help but feel that she was being very naïve about all this. ‘Oh, the arrogance of being a Big here…’ Knowing his luck, Redge could have been out there right now and looking in on all this and just scheming away... for him. For now, all he could do was wait. * * * Far away and beyond many mountains, rivers, trees, and several winding backroads, two Bigs watched eagerly in their hideout as the party unfolded. “That’s him… I know it.” “What? That speck? Please, your eyes are just getting tired.” The woman then stood up. “Besides, I doubt Halgen would be foolhardy enough to let him within a state of any broadcasting camera.” He squinted his eyes and tried to make out the figure more clearly. “You overestimate their diligence with these things. They’re flawed in a way… caring so much about their Littles. Almost makes them… human.” The man shuddered at the notion of his species acting like one so weak. Humans were good for being brainless babies and not much else. One just had to see their society when the portals first opened to know that. “I suppose,” the woman mused. “Now, come on. We have a big day tomorrow. It won’t just walk out on its own two legs you know. Not yet at least…” He held up one finger and tried to zoom further in one the figure seated in the wheelchair with their back turned toward the camera. “Just one minute. I need to see him. I’m so close.” “Reginald Burton,” the woman commanded. “You come to bed this instant. You want to be a Daddy? Then start acting like one and get to bed on time.” Redge sighed. “Yes dear…” He then closed his laptop and followed her into their bedroom. Despite her changing into her sleek pajamas in front of him, Redge couldn’t help but focus on and think of Patrick and how he would soon be all his. “Soon, my Little. Soon…”

Livy and Robyn finish their playdate. That night Livy has a very wet wet dream and an equally wet wake up. --- Writing is my passion and my only source of income. If you enjoy my stories you may be interested to learn that you can see every update I post one week before the rest of the world with a $5 pledge on Patreon. For $10 you can see everything early AND 48 full length stories that can only be found on my Patreon page! The money I get goes to paying bills and putting food on the table so I appreciate all of my patrons and would appreciate anyone who might be interested in supporting me to check out my Patreon ❤️ https://www.patreon.com/Elfy88 --- Robyn was the first to stand up and as she moved the smell got a lot stronger. Olivia stood up and when she did so her diaper sagged between her legs. She didn’t need to touch it to know she was a lot wetter than she had thought. She must’ve got so into playing with Robyn that she hadn’t noticed. The three women left the living room and headed towards the stairs. Olivia, last of the three, looked down the hallway and saw Dan leaning against the wall and smiling. Olivia smiled in return before following the other two up towards the master bedroom. “Who’s first?” Landon asked as she retrieved two fresh diapers from the closet. “Probably should be me…” Robyn raised her hand. Olivia got to experience a diaper change from the point of view of a third party. Just like when Landon changed her diapers she was both gentle and efficient with Robyn. She spoke to the woman as if she was a real baby complete with syrupy praise for following basic instructions. Robyn seemed to react to it all just like a baby as well. Olivia wondered if she looked and sounded like that when having her own diaper changed. Once Robyn was safely clean and taped up in a new disposable it was time for Olivia to take her place on the bed. Her change was a lot faster since she was just wet though she spent the whole time being lost in her own head and questioning every reaction to Landon’s orders. She made sure not to look over at Robyn until her new diaper was taped up. With fresh diapers the two adult babies were taken back downstairs with some more toys and left in the living room. Whatever ice still remained had been truly broken now that they had been changed in front of each other. Olivia found herself slipping into Livy mode a lot and Robyn too was increasingly acting like a small child. They had a genuinely great time together. The only time Olivia saw Dan or Landon it was when they were bringing more drinks in or checking their diapers. At lunch time Dan came in with a couple of peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches, some cut up apples and a packet of chips. It was easy for Olivia to lose track of time. Both herself and Robyn were having a great time playing and occasionally taking breaks to discuss their pasts and interests. Once more in the afternoon they were both given diaper changes as they were soaked. Olivia didn’t want the day to end, it had been more fun than she’d had in a long time and she hadn’t ever slipped into such a Little space before. “Robyn?” Landon opened the door, “I’m afraid it’s time to go home.” Olivia whined and when she looked across her toys at Robyn she could see her new friend’s lip was stuck out in an unhappy pout. With great reluctance Robyn slowly got to her feet, Olivia did the same. “Do I have to?” Robyn asked. She clearly wanted to stay. “I’m afraid so, sweetie.” Landon replied, “But I’m sure you’ll see each other again soon.” “Really, Mommy?” Olivia asked excitedly. Landon looked a little taken aback and she may even have had a tear in her eye as she smiled. It took her a few seconds to regain her composure. Olivia only belatedly realised it was the first time Landon had heard her call Landon “Mommy.” It didn’t seem like such a big deal to Olivia, she’d been doing it internally for a while! “Well, you got on well together didn’t you?” Landon asked when she had got her emotions under control. Both Olivia and Robyn rapidly nodded their heads and exclaimed that they had. “Then I see no reason why not.” Landon smiled, “But unfortunately Robyn needs to go home today.” Olivia felt genuinely upset. For a second she thought she might burst into tears like a toddler being told they couldn’t have something they wanted. Whether it was because Olivia’s bottom lip was trembling or because Robyn was equally emotional the pampered guest quite suddenly darted across the play area and wrapped Olivia in a big hug. “I really enjoyed meeting you, Livy!” Robyn said, “I hope we can be friends…” “Of course!” Olivia replied as she squeezed the other Little. When Robyn pulled away Olivia gave her a little wave as she skipped over to Landon. She took the taller woman’s hand and with a final wave to Olivia they left. Olivia went straight to the front window to watch them go. She even knocked on the window and waved one more time at Robyn who giggled. “You two seemed to get on like a house on fire.” Dan’s voice came from the doorway. “She’s really nice.” Olivia replied rather bashfully. “That she is.” Dan nodded. There looked like there was more he wanted to say but he didn’t seem to know how to get the words out. “What?” Olivia asked. “Livy…” Dan bit his lip and looked at the floor, “You’re not stupid. You’ve seen what’s been going on… with Landon and stuff.” Olivia came away from the window and walked towards her husband. “I just…” Dan seemed to find it hard to meet her eyes. “It’s OK.” Olivia said with a smile, “We need Mommy.” At the mention of “Mommy” Dan finally looked at Olivia. He seemed even more shocked than Landon had been. Olivia smiled up at him again and then wrapped him in a cuddle. She hadn’t really known what she was going to say until the words spilled out of her mouth. In her heart of hearts she knew what she said was the truth though. Whatever happened going forwards it seemed very clear that Landon was going to be a big part of their lives. The rest of the evening really passed in a blur for Olivia. All she knew was that she was given a lot of bottles that day and as a result she was wetting herself a lot more often. She was quietly thankful she was no longer trying to get to the potty in time since she was sure it would’ve been impossible by this stage. Shortly after dinner it was time for Olivia to go to bed. It was Landon that took her up and despite feeling that her diaper was quite wet she decided that Olivia could wait until morning. Olivia was too tired to really put up much resistance, social situations always drained her energy stores and that day with Robyn had certainly been the most social she had felt in a long while. “Have a goodnight, baby.” Landon said as she tucked Olivia in. “’Night ‘night, Mommy.” Olivia said through a yawn. “Thank you.” Landon said so quietly it was almost a whisper, “It means a lot to me.” Olivia smiled as Landon leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Her eyes were already closed before the bedroom door was shut. She felt happy that she was making Landon happy. She pulled her teddy bear closer to her chest as she drifted to sleep. --- That night Olivia dreamt of Robyn. She dreamt they were playing whilst Dan and Landon looked on. At one point she got up and wandered out of the living room where all the toys were, she turned down the hallway and was suddenly back at the office. She was wearing her dress and diapers, her pacifier was between her lips and her hair was in pigtails, she started feeling scared and alone. Olivia turned to head back into the living room only to find the doorway wasn’t there anymore. Instead, both directions down the hallways seemed to head to the same open plan office. She could hear people murmuring and going about their work but she couldn’t see anyone. She didn’t know what to do or where to go. She looked desperately around for Mommy or Daddy but couldn’t find them and that made her even more anxious. With unsure waddling steps Olivia tottered down the hallway towards where all the cubicles were. The sound of people got louder but she still couldn’t see anyone. She could feel a sense of dread creeping in on her. “Mommy?” Olivia’s called out words echoed around the walls, “D-Daddy?” Olivia waddled forwards into the maze of cubicles. It was all so strangely familiar and yet alien. She had worked here at a cubicle like any of the others she was walking past, she didn’t remember it all being so confusing though. She didn’t remember getting lost amongst the cubicles and yet as she turned corners lined with cubicle walls she kept coming to dead ends and having to turn back. Soon she was completely lost. The voices of her former co-workers were still loud and all around her and yet she couldn’t see any of them. “Hello?” Olivia called out, “I… I think I’m lost.” There was still no response. Her voice felt drowned out next to the voices of all the invisible or hiding people. To make matters worse she felt like she needed the bathroom. She spun around looking for a way through but the tall cubicle walls were impossible to see over. Olivia was becoming increasingly desperate both for the bathroom and to find her Mommy and Daddy. Her heart was racing as she looked around the empty hallways created by the walls of the cubicles. She kept wandering around desperately as tears filled her eyes but there was still no sign of any way out. Just as she thought she might be lost in the maze forever Olivia found something that wasn’t a hallway. A large open area which looked like it might’ve been the centre of the impossible maze. She waddled out into it and saw the people whose voices she had been hearing since appearing here. The people were all sitting on swivel office chairs and staring at her as she walked out into the middle of the area. She scanned the faces for Mommy or Daddy but they weren’t there. “C-Can you help me?” Olivia asked the room at large. “Baby! Baby!” The people started to chant in a monotone voice. Olivia looked around at the cruel chanters and suddenly saw a way out. She started running as fast as her legs would take her with the padding around her crotch pushing her thighs apart. There was a gap between the chairs and a long hallway that looked like it might go all the way out of the maze. At the very far end there was a door. Olivia kept waddling down the hallway with the jeering chant seemingly chasing her. The further she went the bigger the pressure she felt building inside her body until she finally reached the door. She pulled on the handle, opened the door and went inside. “H-Hello?” Olivia called out into the new room, “What the…” Olivia was no longer in the office that much was for sure. Everything was white. She touched the walls and felt a strange plastic that reminded her of a plastic bag. The floor was even stranger. It was slightly spongy and as she walked inside she could feel her feet sink into it slightly. It was like a void. Turning back to where the door had been Olivia couldn’t find it. There seemed to be no way in or out of this strangely white room. She walked further in but saw no sign of any people or objects. “Just let go…” Landon’s voice came through the room like a whisper brought on the wind. It echoed and sounded like it didn’t start in the room at all. “Landon?” Olivia called out in confusion. “Just let go…” Landon’s voice repeated. As Olivia stopped in what seemed to be the centre of the interminable room she felt the need to pee overwhelm her. She was surprised she was even able to hold on for as long as she did and relaxed her bladder. As she did so she heard a noise above her head almost like a waterfall. She looked up to see, high above her, a yellowish liquid pouring from the ceiling. Olivia looked around the room again and suddenly realised where she was. She was in a diaper! More specifically she was in her own diaper and as soon as she started peeing the liquid started falling from the ceiling! It started at the far end of the room and Olivia started backing away. She could see the urine moving towards her and she turned to run away all the while still wetting herself. She could hear the liquid waterfall getting closer and she tripped on the spongy floor. She tried to crawl away but it was advancing on her faster than she could move. Olivia turned and sat on her backside. As the waterfall rolled forever closer she knew she couldn’t get away. She curled up into a ball and covered her head with her hands as she waited for it to fall on her. “Livy! Livy, no! Stop!” Olivia jolted awake feeling confused. Her heart hammered away in her chest as she rapidly came back to the world of the living. The bedroom was dark but Dan was in the bed next to her. As she sat up she felt Dan throw back the covers. She still had her teddy hear in her mouth and as she looked down she gasped and covered her face. The bedside light came on and what had happened became obvious. “I… I leaked...” Olivia mumbled in shock. “You wet the bed!” Dan put a hand to his face, “And I have work tomorrow.” It was the middle of the night and Dan looked very annoyed that he had been disturbed like this. Olivia couldn’t really blame him, he had basically just woken up in a puddle she had made. She wasn’t sure what to do and stayed in place as Dan climbed out of bed and pulled the cover off the mattress completely. He was dressed in only a pair of boxer shorts. A minute or so later there was a knock on the bedroom door. “Is everything OK?” Landon called out, “I heard shouting.” “Yeah, everything’s fine. You can come in.” Dan sighed. “What’s going…” Landon looked at the bed and saw Olivia still sitting on the stained sheets, “Oh dear.” “I’m sorry.” Olivia mumbled. She felt like she might cry. “I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.” Dan sighed. He moved around to the foot of the bed to get a better look at the situation. When Landon moved across and stood next to Dan it certainly looked like two disapproving parents. Olivia bowed her head. She felt like she had let everyone down. It had been such a good day with Robyn and now it was ending on a sour note. “I’ll deal with it.” Landon said. She reached an arm over and rubbed Dan’s back. “I think she’s a bit messy as well.” Dan said. Olivia was about to open her mouth to retort that she wasn’t but as soon as the words were said she concentrated on the feelings in her diaper and could feel something pressing against her butt. Just when she thought things couldn’t get worse she found out that not only had she wet the bed but she had pooped it too! “Olivia, come on.” Landon said. “Where are we going?” Olivia asked. “Well, you can’t stay there.” Landon said, “Dan, why don’t you flip over the mattress and remake the bed? I’ll take Olivia for a new diaper.” “Sure.” Dan replied. Olivia slid off the side of the bed and stood up. She was absolutely soaked. Her diaper seemed to be barely held up and there were little streams of urine running down the inside of her legs. Landon was already getting a fresh diaper out whilst holding her robe closed. She stood back up with the changing supplies and came back around to Olivia. “Follow me.” Landon said. Olivia did as she was told. She looked back one more time at Dan who was looking at the bed and shaking his head with disappointment. She felt like an infant who had disappointed parents that had given her a little more freedom. Olivia went out into the hallway and followed Landon to the spare bedroom which had pretty much been made Landon’s since she started de facto living there. Olivia idly thought about how she hadn’t looked in this room since Landon arrived, in one sense it was strange since this was her house. “In you go.” Landon said as she pushed open the door and stood by the side for Olivia to waddle in. “I’m sorry, Mommy.” Olivia said as she stepped inside, “I didn’t know I needed to go…” “It’s OK, baby.” Landon replied, “I should’ve changed you before bed.” The spare bedroom seemed mostly unchanged from before Landon’s arrival. She hadn’t expected big changes but it still seemed somewhat of an anti-climax. It was nice and tidy though, Olivia supposed she shouldn’t have expected anything else. Landon had tidied the house up and made it look presentable, her room was the same way. It didn’t seem like there was even a stray hair on the carpet. Landon stripped Olivia down. The adult baby didn’t have much shame about being naked in front of Landon these days. The diaper was removed whilst she was standing leaving her completely bear. Landon carefully folded the disposable into a ball and put it in the corner of the room. She opened the tub of baby wipes and started wiping Olivia’s butt and legs. “This is my fault.” Landon said as she worked, “You should never be put in bed without a fresh diaper. It was an accident waiting to happen… Literally.” Once Olivia had been wiped clean of urine Landon spread a towel on top of her bed and indicated that Olivia should lay down. Olivia did as she was told for her fresh diaper. It felt comforting to have new padding wrapped around her waist, it was a feeling of safety and comfort that made the big baby sigh. She was soon taped up and Landon tugged at the edges of the diaper to make sure it fit properly. “I think it would be best if you stayed in here.” Landon said once she had finished the change. “In here?” Olivia replied with a frown. “You don’t want to disturb Dan again, do you?” Landon asked. “Well… no but-…” Olivia started. “And I do have work tomorrow as well. Really, this whole episode has disturbed both of us.” Landon reasoned. Olivia sat on the edge of the mattress and looked down at her diaper. She felt like Landon had a point. She had leaked into the bed once, it would be impossible to say that it wouldn’t happen again even if this diaper was dry. She remembered Dan’s look of disappointment on the way out of the bedroom. In truth it felt a little strange to be in the master bedroom still, Olivia didn’t feel like Dan’s equal anymore and since she thought of the other two as Mommy and Daddy… “Livy? Are you still there?” Landon asked with a chuckle. Olivia realised she had zoned out in thought. She finally nodded her head to tell Landon she was right, Olivia would stay in the spare bedroom. She didn’t particularly want to sleep on top of her wet spot even if the mattress had been flipped over. Landon got down on her knees and wrapped Olivia in a tight hug. “You’re a good girl.” Landon said. Olivia broke into a smile. She could see that Landon was happy and that she meant her compliment. With everything Landon had done for the family it was nice to be able to do something for her. Landon pulled back the edge of the cover and Olivia slipped underneath. Landon tucked her in and gave her a kiss on the forehead. As Landon left the room Olivia sighed and rolled over to face the wall. Her only regret being that she had forgotten Hootie as she closed her eyes and fell back to sleep. --- If you enjoyed this part you can check out what happens next RIGHT NOW at: https://www.patreon.com/posts/livys-new-family-90829946

I would be happy to volunteer to be the baby as long as my identity wasn’t shown like maybe a baby mask or something 😁

The fire was dying out now, the last glowing embers giving their final bursts as Hortensia pushed their smoldering remains around with a stick. The girls hadn’t spoken to each other since Hortensia’s return, and while she didn’t seem in danger of internally combusting, Jennifer noticed she sat off by herself, hunched over and looking sullen. Jennifer stood from her spot on the ground and stretched before taking a seat next to her. “You did well keeping yourself together, thank you.” she said softly, her gaze fixed towards their dwindling source of light. Hortensia didn’t respond. Instead she prodded harder, sending sparks and burnt chips of wood flying off in different directions. “What do people usually do when this happens?” “Throw me in the Chokey.” Hortensia grumbled. Jennifer frowned. She was hardly the child expert , but it seemed poor judgment to place a rampaging kid in an environment where they could hurt themselves. Could? More like would! “That doesn’t sound very safe.” Jennifer stated. “It isn’t easy standing still enough even on our good days.” Hortensia thrust a bare arm out as if to keep Jennifer from flying forward, but even in the dim light, Jennifer could see specs of shiny skin up and down her arm, so she rolled up her own sleeve and showed Hortensia her own collection of scars. She was quiet for a moment while she took in the sight as if now finally having permission to stare. They had been seen but not acknowledged. She never went around showing this much skin at school. “You’ve been in the Chokey too?” Hortensia asked surprised. “Yes, many times.” Hortensia screwed up her face in disbelief. “I don’t see you being a rule breaker.” “I didn’t need to be. I lived with her until I ran away at 19.” “It’s not ‘running away’ if you’re over 18.” Matilda called out. Jennifer pinched her eyes shut before putting on her “Miss Honey voice” “Sweetheart, play with your dolls, mommy’s busy.” Hortensia snickered at Matilda’s near open mouthed expression. “Yeah, the adults are talking.” Hortensia chuckled, laughing even harder as Matilda’s shocked face turned into a scowl. “What I’m trying to say is, I understand.” Jennifer said, steering her attention away. “And you’ll never have to go back in there. I promise. I already had it torn down.” She saw Hortensia’s smile falter for a moment as she gave a small nod. “I’ll meet with your new teacher and we can work something out. Maybe you can go for a run outside when you feel out of control.” “Even during class?” Hortensia asked doubtfully. “If it helps, then yes.” Jennifer said. “They’ll never let me leave class to ‘go run’.” “Yes, she will.” Jennifer said firmly. “I’m sort of the boss now.” She whispered conspiratorially. “I told you, there’s going to be changes.” She could already picture Old Mrs. Marshall raising a fuss. “If I let her out to run amok, then I'd have to let everyone. No. It will be chaos.” Jennifer pictured her saying. She didn’t want to pull rank, but she would if she had to. They were just going to have to learn expectations did need to be made for certain students. Would Jennifer trust Hortensia to run off by herself during class? Absolutely not. One of the school prefects would have to go with her and make sure she didn’t light another trash can on fire. She glanced over at her daughter. What would have happened to Matilda if she had followed school policy and not made exceptions for her? She’d certainly come to see school as a prison, not a place of learning, but of boredom. And speaking of Matilda… “Where do you think you’re going?” Jennifer asked as Matilda was about to make her way out of camp. “A walk.” Matilda said. “No, you’re not. You need to stay here.” Jennifer said. “You’re grounded, and even if you weren't, it’s too dangerous at night.” Matilda pursed her lips together in annoyance. “I was just going to go over there, not that far.” Matilda said, pointing out to the field. Jennifer knew where she was headed. She could see the wipe clutched tightly in her fist. “Not by yourself you’re not.” Matilda flashed her a panicked look before eying all the people in camp. Her shoulders slumped. “Fine.” She stood in place watching Jennifer expectantly. “You’ll have to wait, I'm busy.” “Hortensia?” “I don’t think she’s in the market for doing you any favors.” Jennifer said before hiding her grin behind her closed fist. A little teasing wouldn’t hurt. “Ask me.” “Will you come with me?” Matilda said between clenched teeth. “Ask me properly.” Jennifer said, unable to hide her amused smirk. “Will you please come with me?” “Try again.” Jennifer said. Matilda gave an exaggerated slump forward and she groaned. “I don’t know what you want.” Matilda complained. “Think. How did Hazel address Brian?” Matilda’s eyes narrowed. “Fine, Daddy.” Jennifer rolled her eyes. She could see Brian pop his head up in search of the voice. “Hazel, did you need something?” He asked. The little girl shook her head. “Sorry, it’s mine. She’s just being a little smart alec.” Jennifer said before turning back to Matilda. “You want to try that again?” “Mooom, why can’t you ground me like a normal person?” Matilda grumbled. “What am I going to do? Stick you in your room? You hardly come out of there anyway. Punishment isn’t something you enjoy. It’s not supposed to feel good. Now ask me again what you want, but without the attitude.” “Mommy…” Matilda said after a five second pause, something else they had learned from therapy. “Yes, darling?” “Would you please come with me to the field?” “Hmm, but we’re having fun over here, why would you want to go to the field?” Jennifer teased. “Because I need to go to the restroom.” Matilda hissed. “‘Restroom’ sure is a big word for someone as young as you.” Jennifer said. Matilda’s mouth hung open. She knew she was pushing it, but this was too much fun. “No! I’m not saying it.” Matilda said. “Then I guess you don’t want to go for a walk that badly.” “Mom, please stop.” Matilda said. “If you want me to stop, then all you have to do is tell one story.” “Why does it have to be that one? Why can’t I just say I used to be a bed wetter?” Matilda pleaded. “Because that was a medical condition and it wasn’t your fault.” Jennifer said. “You have no one to blame but yourself for what happened in the corn field maze.” “Ugh, forget it!” Matilda said, throwing up her hands in frustration before going back to sit with Hazel. “Wait, what happened in the corn field maze?” Hortensia asked. Jennifer shook her head. “It’s not my story to tell.” Jennifer went back to chatting between Hortensia and Brian before Matilda approached again, looking much more contrite. “Can I borrow that pen and paper?” Matilda asked Brian. She took the offered items and scribbled a note before handing it to Jennifer. She took it and had to bite back a laugh. “Matilda, just say it outloud and I’ll take you. Stop making this harder for yourself.” She watched as Matilda stood there, fighting with herself to get the words out. Finally, with her head hung in embarrassment she said so softly Jennifer wouldn’t have been able to make out what she was saying if she hadn’t been listening for it, “Mommy, will you please take to the field so I can go potty?” “Yes, I will take you potty.” Jennifer said, making Matilda wince. “You didn’t bring one?” Brian asked. Jennifer shook her head. “Not even for the little one?” Matilda scowled at being referred to as “the little one” but a quick warning glance from Jennifer kept her mouth shut. “She can manage fine without it. We only brought the essentials.” Jennifer said. He looked to the giant, deflated alligator lying by his feet before giving her a sly smile. “I can see that.” He said. “Hazel, what about you?” The little girl looked up in question. “The ladies are making a potty trip, do you need to go as well?” Hazel shook her head. “Would you mind taking her? She hasn’t gone since we left earlier this evening. Just have her take everything off first, I don’t think she can do it without making a mess on herself.” “I don’t mind.” Jennifer said. Privacy wouldn’t be an issue for her, it was dark enough out there. Only their outlines were visible in the low moonlight. “Please no.” Matilda begged. “It’s dark, no one will see anything, you know that.” Jennifer said. “Hazel, please go with them.” Brian said to his daughter. “Thank you so much, she can-” she saw Brian’s face fall. “Hazel.” He groaned. “Why didn’t you say you needed to go potty?” Jennifer turned and saw what Brian was talking about. Even in the low light of the moon she could see the front of her pink sweatpants were streaked with a dark, wet stain down the front. “You’re not going to make me do that too, are you?” Matilda whispered. “Umm, no…?” Jennifer said incredulously. “Do you really think I’d go that far?” “You said I had to do everything she did. I didn’t know how far you were going to take this.” Matilda hissed back. “I was only teasing you.” Jennifer said. “Consider it part of your punishment.” “I knew you were enjoying this too much!” “Okay, a little.” Jennifer admitted. “I missed hearing you call me mommy.” “I never called you mommy.” Matilda insisted. “Yes, you did, for a little while, anyway.” Jennifer said. Matilda frowned. “When you were sick.” “Does this mean you’ll stop?” Matilda asked hopefully. “Not a chance. I’m going to enjoy this.” She let out a low laugh at her daughter’s sullen face. “Well, I guess we should take this as our cue to head back to our side of the lake.” Brian said, taking his daughter by the hand. “Zack! Nick! We’re going! Will we see you tomorrow? Maybe you can come to our camp around lunch time?” “Sounds good.” Jennifer said. “It’s a date.” She could feel her face burn at his words. Did he just say it was a date? Calm down, Jennifer. It’s just an expression. “Say bye, Hazel.” Brian said. The little girl waved. “Say bye, Matilda.” Jennifer said with a grin. “Stop it!” “Later!” One of the boys called from the darkness. Jennifer stood rooted to the spot silently waving to their backs as they walked away. She only glanced back when she heard Matilda moan and tug on her arm. “Mom, seriously, I really have to go!” Matilda said, marching her feet in place. “I had to pee since before they got here, remember?” Jennifer winced. Matilda had wanted to come with her earlier, but Jennifer’s bowels were about to blow. She had meant to come back for her, but she had gotten distracted by the many creatures which had collectively taken a chomp from her backside. And now that he was gone… She stuck her hands in the back of her underwear and began to scratch while eliciting a loud moan. Finally. Sweet relief! “I’ve been wanting to do this all night.” Jennifer said as she furiously scratched. “Ahh.” A voice from right behind her made her heart drop. “Uh, sorry, I forgot my sunglasses.” Brian said. She spun around, hand still down the back of her pants and froze. Brian stood behind her with a large amused grin on his face. “Here, thank you again.” Matilda said, handing them over. They both looked at each other before beginning to cackle. Jennifer stood, horrified as she watched him run away. “Any chance he found that attractive?” she mumbled. “Not one bit.” Hortensia said through gasps of air. Jennifer groaned. “Girls, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for this day to be over.”

Chapter 28: The Box Parum Mortis – LittleFallenPrincess “And voilà! Welcome to Meddy’s daycare!” Pandora said as we stepped through the door into A WHOLE OTHER FREAKING DIMENSION. Like… a month ago the biggest fear I had was being late to work, or forgetting to order the spring rolls for Beth. Now I’m literally dead, my girlfriend is a Witch who can cast actual magic, my best friend is an actual vampire, I’m being chased by Death, I’ve met the ACTUAL DEVIL! And I’ve met two of my favourite stories from my childhood, Medusa and Pandora… who ended up being into some pretty freaky kinky stuff, as did my girlfriend and best friend. And now… I’m walking casually into a pocket dimension, something I bet most, if not all, humans have never done before. And one that looked just like a damn daycare. Pale yellow walls, dark grey carpet, a big playpen in the corner of the room made up of what I could only assume was the entire colour wheel and then some, a few little plastic tables with various artistic tools sat on top of them, a row of square shelves sticking out into the middle of the room with various boxes full of toys… yeah this was like any other daycare I had seen, though everything was a lot… larger. Speaking of larger… My hand was now stretching upwards, instead of horizontally like it had been upon entering, so I followed my arm with my eyes, to see that the person in front who I had been holding hands with… was now a good few feet taller than me, dwarfing me in stature as she turned and looked down, smiling. “Are you okay? Sorry, it’s a thing about this room. Bigs are… well… big! Babies like you… well you’re tiny… like you should be.” Pandora smiled at me. “Beth didn’t share that piece of information…” I rolled my eyes. “I think she wanted you to experience it for yourself. Sorry.” “It’s… okay.” Pandora looked up at the rest of the group and put her hands on her hips, letting go of my hand in the process. “Right… little ones? Go play with whatever you want. You know my rules for this place. And Meddy, Lucy?” All the people behind us let go of each other’s hands and quickly dispersed around the room, running off to various parts of the daycare. It didn’t hit me at first… but I now realised they… well they weren’t wearing the same things they came to the hotel in. They looked… like babies. Adult babies. They were wearing outfits much more fitting for this place… so this was yet another thing Beth declined to share. Medusa and Lucy both turned to Pandora, both of them still holding each other’s hands. Lucy still held onto mine, and Medusa still held on to her Mummy’s. But they… they were wearing very different outfits now. The bell bottom jeans and camisole were replaced with… a footed sleeper. A vibrant-red footed sleeper. And her beanie… was now a baby bonnet. A matching red bonnet. Lucy… well Lucy was no longer wearing that black skirt or her red top. Instead she was wearing shortalls with a frilly red top under them, her combat boots becoming velcro-strapped babyish trainers. I… I was too nervous to look at what I was wearing. I never signed up for this. I said I’d give this room a go… to ease into it. I never agreed to let my outfit be changed. I was still getting used to the whole babying thing and the fact I need nappies now… but the baby clothes would need a bit more time. “Yes Mummy?” Medusa said whilst Lucy responded at the same time but with ‘Auntie Pandy’ instead of Mummy. “I need you two to show little Susie around and teach her the group rules, okay?” The pair of them nodded before Meddy grabbed my other hand and they both skipped off, dragging me along with them. “You’re okay, you know…” Lucy said, stopping in the middle of the daycare. “What do you mean?” I asked, confused. “You weren’t changed into anything. I can see how you’re avoiding looking at your outfit, whilst staring at everyone else's.” Lucy said, trying to reassure me. “Yeah, it only changes you if you want to be. Same goes with height.” Meddy explained. “But I…” “Yeah, you’re our height, which means there’s some littleness in you. But you haven’t accepted it yet, hence why you’re still in your normal dungarees.” “Plus they’re already pretty babyish…” Lucy teased. “HEY! No they’re not!” I whined, sounding… just like the baby I was sort-of dressed as. “Yeah… totally… any other woman your age would totally be wearing something like that…” she continued mocking me, trying to hold back her laughter. “I gotta admit… she’s not wrong.” Medusa added. “Seriously? You too? My favourite myth?” “I almost forgot you were human only a month ago. It’s still weird when people call me a myth… it’s like… I’m right here!” Meddy shrugged. “I know, but humans wouldn’t believe you if you told them.” Lucy replied. “They would if I showed them what's under my hat… well I guess bonnet now…” “No doubt, but then they’d try to kill you or lock you up and experiment on you. Humans are nasty.” “That they are.” Meddy agreed with Lucy. It may be weird for Medusa to hear humans talk about her as if she’s a myth… it’s even weirder to be talked about as if I wasn’t a human only a month ago. Like… I’m still getting used to this thing, calm down a bit on the anti-human stuff, please! “What about me?” I asked Lucy. “You’re different. I’m not saying all humans are bad… but… enough of them are to warrant us being scared of them.” “Okay… I sort-of understand. I am gay after all.” “YOU ARE? OH EM GEE. I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED!” Lucy replied in the most sarcastic voice she could muster. “...Shut up. What do we do now anyway?” “How about I introduce you to some of my friends?” Meddy suggested. “I… I’m not great at meeting new people but I guess I really should if I want to be a part of both of Beth’s worlds.” “Atta girl!” Lucy teased, wrapping her arm around me and escorting me away, following closely behind Medusa. We walked over to the corner of the room where all the blocks were, where two ‘babies’ were playing together and laughing. A guy and a girl, just acting like… kids? It was weird, but weirdly… wholesome. “Hey guys!” Meddy called out to them. “Hey Meddy, thanks for letting us hang out here. It’s much more fun than helping the big ones out there!” The boy said, the young, rough-looking one with shaggy hair and an unshaven face, who wore dungarees and a blue tee. “It was my Mummy’s idea, you know it’s her box really. But it’s okay, I agree. I’m happy to help with this big project thingy Auntie Beth has come up with, but I wasn’t expecting to do all the heavy lifting and stuff.” “Do… Do you all call her Auntie Beth?” I interrupted. “Oh yes!” The girl on the floor said. She looked to be a natural redhead with beautiful blue eyes and a face that would rival any model you see in magazines or on TV. Her gorgeous red hair was tied up into two large pigtails, her outfit was very… not babyish, which stood out more amongst the sea of onesies and dungarees. Instead, her clothes had transformed into a cute little blue dress that stopped half way down her nappy, as I could see the bottom of her padding peeking out below the hemline. “Oh sorry, you’re the new girl, Auntie Beth’s girlfriend, aren’t you?” “I… yeah… and you are?” “I’m Abby, and this monster here is Grim.” “Oh…” I replied. “Ah… my reputation has spread already…” Grim grinned as he stacked a block on top of his little tower, before quickly knocking it down. “I…” “Go on… what were you told?” He asked. “Just… to be careful… apparently you’re a handful.” I said, shyly. Grim grinned proudly, as if he had accomplished what he had set out to do. “Ignore him. He’s a pushover really. All noise and no action.” Abby said, rolling her eyes at the guy. “Hi… I’m Lucy…” A quiet voice beside me said. “OH hey! It’s nice to finally meet you! I’ve seen you in the community before, but you’re always so… shut off and shy.” Abby said, talking to Lucy who was half-hiding behind me, gripping on to my sides for dear life. “Yeah… she’s a shy person.” I explained. “Never heard of a shy vampire.” Grim shrugged. “Makes you more interesting!” Lucy’s grip on me loosened as she slowly edged out from behind me. “Do you three want to play?” Abby offered. “No thanks, though maybe once we’re done with the tour.” Meddy replied. “Ah yeah, good idea. Well it was nice meeting you, undead girl.” Grim grinned at me. As we walked away, being shuffled away by Meddy, I turned to Lucy. “So… you’ve never talked to them before? I thought you were big in this community?” I whispered. “Who told you that?” She whispered back. “I just assumed from everyone talking…” “A few bigs know me. And Meddy. That’s about it. I’m… look, you know how bad I was at uni? It’s been like that. I tend to keep to myself most of the time.” “Really?” “Really.” “Oh hun… well I’m here now. Maybe we can get you to come out of your shell. Seems this introduction is as much for you as it is for me.” “I guess… maybe…” “Can I ask… what are those two?” “Oh you mean what kind of…” “Yeah.” “I think the guy is a werewolf. Though I have no idea if that’s actually true. I just assumed, based on appearances. I have no idea what that ‘Abby’ is.” “She’s a kitsune.” Meddy stopped and turned to face us. She had clearly been able to hear us the whole time. “A kitsune? What’s that?” I asked. “A shapeshifting fox creature from Japanese folklore. Yeah, I know she doesn’t look it, but apparently her family has ties back there many generations ago. Great great grandmother or something, who was a Japanese kitsune, fell in love with an Irish guy over here, at least that’s what she told us.” “You know everyone, Meddy. You’re always so popular.” Lucy sighed. “I’m just not scared to talk to people. You need to open up, Luce. Oh and yes, Grim is short for Grimfang, and he’s a werewolf. Both of them joined around the same time not that long ago, so they kinda bonded over being the newbies. They’re slowly making friends with the others, but they mostly keep to themselves. I heard they’re planning on moving in together.” “Really? They didn’t look… close.” I said. “Oh they’re not dating. Grim is gay for one thing. And Abby is seeing a few people right now. They just… look, it’s expensive to live this close to the centre of the city, and it’s getting more expensive, so they’re trying to get a place together to make it cheaper for them.” “Makes sense.” “Right, let’s get going, there's a dozen or so of us left to introduce, then you can actually try being one of us!” We then proceeded to be dragged around the daycare, being introduced to the other ten or twelve people. I can’t remember how many, I can barely remember their names. I was still a bit… weirded out. They all acted so… normal. Yet there were creatures of all sorts just sitting there, in thick nappies and babyish outfits… playing with toys. Names and numbers, I don’t remember. But the types… I do. I mean there was even a fucking ghost! A GHOST! WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DOES A GHOST EVEN WEAR… OR USE… I… It was all a bit too much for me, and Medusa could apparently see that, because she grabbed my hand and pulled me off towards the front of the room, where Pandora sat watching everyone. “Mummy?” She asked, stopping just in front of the desk. “Yes baby?” Pandora responded. “I think Susie is a bit… overwhelmed.” “I can see that, it’s plastered all over her face. How are you doing too, Lucy?” She asked Luce, who was gripping my other hand tightly. Lucy didn’t say a word, she just nodded. “A new girl and a socially anxious one. Yeah, I should have seen this. Well I’m proud of you both for trying so hard, okay? You did super well and you deserve a sticker!” Pandora opened a drawer on her desk and pulled out a sheet of stickers, gold stars from what I could tell. Taking one on the tip of her finger, she reached over the desk and pressed it against my chest, sticking the star onto my dungarees. Pandora then did the same for Lucy, whose face turned red. “Fank you…” Lucy and I said, at the same time. “You’re very welcome, sweethearts. Now… How are you feeling? Do you need a break?” “I… I wouldn’t mind one, thanks. It’s… a lot. The baby stuff, the… types of people like you… I mean… us.” I was still getting my head round the fact I was one of them now. Not human. Not anymore. “I know, sweetie. It’s a lot to take in. It’s okay though. Do you want to sit in the quiet corner for a bit, or do you want me to get your Mummy… I mean, girlfriend?” “I…” I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to leave, because I missed Beth, and I also wanted time to process this stuff… but I also knew this was probably good for Lucy, as awkward as she’s feeling. So I turned to her and raised my eyebrow, trying to ask her what she wanted to do without actually saying anything. “I think… the quiet corner would be good…” She said, surprising me. I wasn’t expecting her to answer at all, and here she was voicing what she wanted. “Okay sweeties. Right, Meddy? You can go play now, thank you for doing such a good job showing these two around. You’ll get a gold star on your chart when we get home.” Medusa jumped up and down excitedly as she rushed off to the corner to play with Abby and Grim, who were still playing with blocks. Pandora looked at us both, before slowly standing up, towering over us with her newfound height, and walked around the desk. Without saying a word, without asking, she reached down and grabbed the both of us in one swoop of each arm, cradling us both at the same time as she then proceeded to carry us off into the corner of the room that was currently deserted. ======================================================== Who wouldn't want their own portable pocket dimension with a nursery inside it? I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the remaining chapters are available on my Patreon which can be found here if you go for the second tier. New chapters of Parum Mortis every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

I'd forgot all about Mr. Dressup until I saw a trailer for a documentary on Prime. It mentions that Ernie Coombs considered himself a 'child at heart' 🤔. Seems pretty interesting. He was very dedicated to what he did. I was surprised to learn the show spanned 30 years and over 4000 episodes. Way ahead of his time on the transgender issue also. Update: I watched the documentary. It really brings you back and is very touching.

Welcome to Daily Diapers Steve

I've been travelling for work and really busy, but I hope to sit down and write some more soon. Thanks for the support.

Wow. 4,000 episodes.

@oznl My personal experience with the US nude-o-scopes is that I get pulled when wearing, which now is all the time. Also note that I normally wear cloth, not disposable. However, now that we have some rather good (ABDL influenced high capacity) disposable diapers, I might try those when needed in the future. Unfortunately, the way I sweat will still likely cause me to get pulled over even if they compensate for the disposable's normal contents. Prior to needing diapers before the security check, one nude-o-meter found a flaw of an extra partial layer of cloth in how one pocket in my pants was manufactured and flagged it for further inspection. Since then I think the machines have been reprogrammed, but who knows. And with what I currently wear, which is usually a (layered) cloth diaper that can take care of business if I happen to nap at the right time, I believe I'm 100% for secondary inspection. The first time I wore coming home and had to go through the nude-o-scope, I was asked to have private screening.... And yes, they saw and touched what they wanted before passing me on (I believe including explosive check from a cloth wipe down -- OK, that time they had to verify the chemical they found was sun screen....).... Pants were only loosened - opened up, but.... Any way..... More recent checks have only resulted in pat downs (accepting not needing to go to a private area for additional screening). So, this "theater" of security, well... I should stop commenting here.... @FretaBWetSee my response to @oznl above. Yes, the pat down without privacy is less invasive than the option of private screening. The time I was more or less required private screening their only suggestion for "next time" was to call ahead to give advance notice.... In my opinion they should be ready to handle folks that show up at any time.... Not sure how far one can push US ADA rules.....

*big hugs back*

Hi Ashy! Big hugs!🤗♥️ Me love you lots.

I have similar feelings: I’d like to see fun and cute scenarios without the graphic sexual stuff personally: One reason I unsubscribed from UK Diaper Girls is I got sick to death of the same shitty videos of a woman in a diaper with a vibrator wand week after week; I didn’t even like it the first time. Also I wish more effort was put into production side of things. Why is it you can watch amazing, low budget short films on YouTube for FREE like the stuff made by Film Riot or even Dahr Mann, but if you want to watch ABDL videos you usually have to pay $25 and it’s filmed and produced like a crap amateurish home movie from the 1990s? It really frustrates me!

Can't wait to see what happens when he gets back home😄

An Anonymous commission. Enjoy. “Happy Anniversary!” Mikey said from the dining table, seeing his girlfriend of one year walk out of the bedroom. “Happy Anniversary!” Lilith said with a smile, not hesitating to help herself to a cup of coffee that Mikey had brewed earlier. “Got any big plans for us today?” “Uh, hadn’t really thought that far. But I do have something that I have been trying to build the courage to tell you…” Mikey said, looking down at his coffee in an attempt to avoid eye contact. “Oh, cool,” Lilith said, grabbing her coffee and joining him at the table. “What's up?” “Umm, I’ve got something that I’ve been meaning to tell you…I just…” Mikey started. “It’s okay. You can tell me anything. Besides, there's something that I should probably tell you too,” Lilith said, taking a sip of her coffee as she gazed into Mikey’s hazel eyes. “Really?” Mikey asked, shooting up with excitement. “Yea, but you first,” Lilith said, grabbing her boyfriend's hand. Mikey sat up a little, as if preparing to give some kind of public speech. “Ok- uh…” He started. “I uh- have a kink that I am really into and…” Mikey paused. He could feel his stomach churning with nerves as he tried to muster the courage to say it. “It’s okay, sweety. You can tell me anything,” Lilith said, smiling at him from across the table with her deep, mossy green eyes. Mikey couldn’t help but let out a smile as he felt butterflies in his stomach. “I’m an…ABDL…” He said, letting out a quick sigh. “What's that?” Lilith said, playing dumb. She had known for quite awhile now, having scrolled through the contents of his phone while he was asleep, but had decided that it wasn’t fair to call him out on it. It was something that he needed to feel comfortable admitting. Admittedly, it was also something that she was really into. Being unable to conceive children herself, she had always fantasized about finding a man to fill that hole for her. Mikey blushed, feeling beyond embarrassed. “Like…baby stuff…” He started. Lilith smiled. “Oh! Is that it?” She said practically gleaming. “What all does that entail?” “Um-” He gulped, feeling his leg frantically bounce under the table. “I like to be babied…use diapers…play with toys…” “Oh my gosh! That's so cute!” Lilith said, quickly getting up from the table to run over and give Mikey a big hug. She pulled him in close, tightly squeezing him as she started to imagine the possibilities. “Phew…that's a huge weight off my back,” Mikey said, looking emotionally drained from the anticipation. “So what's your secret?” “Well…” Lilith started. “Remember how I said I work remotely?” “Yea?” Mikey said. “That's not entirely true…” She started. “You see, the thing is…I’m actually a Witch,” She said, pausing to gauge his reaction. Mikey scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “Oh I see, haha!” He said in a raised voice, quickly getting up from his chair. “You think this is a big joke, don’t you?” Lilith was taken aback, unsure how to process what her boyfriend was saying. “No, I’m serious…” She started. “I’m a witch. I don’t work remotely because I am able to use my magic to make sure that we live a comfortable life,” Mikey threw his hands into the air. “What a fucking joke!” He shouted. “I just told you my biggest fucking secret. Something I am extremely embarrassed about, and you come back saying that you're some kind of made up fantasy character?” “I’m not making this up, Mikey,” She said, still standing next to the chair he had been seated in. “God, you’re such a bitch, Lilith!” Mikey shouted. Lilith said nothing. Mikey stared at her waiting for a response, but it didn’t come. Instead, she slowly turned herself around, and made her way towards the kitchen, opening one of the back cabinets and reaching into the back to pull out what looked like some old twig. “Oh great! At least we’ll get to role play your little witch fantasy, even though I just nearly had a panic attack telling you about my deepest desires!” Mikey yelled. Lilith ignored him, and gave the wand a quick flip and a swoosh as she muttered something under her breath. Mikey froze for a second, starting to feel a little tingly. Unsure of what had just happened. The tinglin stopped for a moment, and he prepared himself to call Lilith out on her BS again, when he suddenly felt a breeze on his legs. He looked down, quickly realizing his pants and socks were gone. His stomach sank as the tingly feeling returned, quickly growing and spreading its way through his body in every direction. He glanced up at Lilith for help, only to see her smiling back at him as he looked down in horror only to see his leg hair begin to vanish from the top down. Soon the tingly feeling spread to his arms, his chest, his face, all while he watched the hairs on his body disappear only to finally feel his beard fade into nothing as well. “Lilith!” He tried to call out, only to hear the word “Mommy,” instead. He tried to take a step forward, only to trip over thin air and end up on the floor, where he now felt the familiar comfortable feeling of a soft, Peekabu diaper wrapped around his waist. He looked down to confirm his suspicions, only to see the included black onesie that now covered his body, snuggly holding the diaper to his groin. “Mommy!” He heard himself say again as he tried to call out to his girlfriend. He felt the tears quickly build up in his eyes and couldn’t fight them for long before they began to overflow. He began to loudly weep as he struggled with what was happening to the reality around him. Tears streamed down his face as his nose started to clog with snot as his weeps gradually grew louder and louder. He felt himself start to pee. Flooding the soft, dry diaper that had magically found its way around him as the warm liquid spread around his boy parts. Lilith watched for a few minutes as the magic took its effect. She was beyond ecstatic and could barely hold herself together as she watched her once manly boyfriend break down into tears as he lost what little control he had over his life. It wasn’t until he let out a third call for his Mommy that she finally decided to step in. She stuffed the wand down into her sock as she made her way over to Mikey. “Shhhh,” She started. “It’s okay, baby. Mommy is here,” She cooed as she ran her hand through his hair. Mikey sniffled as he continued to cry, slowly looking up at her. “Was happen’n Mommy?” He said as tears rolled down his face. “Mommy didn’t like your attitude, so she decided you needed an attitude adjustment,” She said, helping him sit up as she wiped the tears from his eyes. “You’re gonna be Mommy’s little boy for a bit, okay? Just like you always wanted!” Mikey reached out for a hug, which Lilith gladly accepted, using the opportunity to lift him off the ground and carry him on her waist. “Maybe if you are a good little boy for Mommy for a week or so, we can give you some control back, okay?” Mikey nodded his head as he sucked some of the snot back in his nose. She carried him into his office, which was really just his man cave. His massive tower PC sat on his desk, back lit by way too many RGB LEDs. “Oh dear, this is all too much for a little baby like you,” Lilith said. Holding Mikey up with one arm, she bent over just enough to grab her wand out of her sock and gave it another quick swoosh through the air. A trail of sparkles lit up the wall as they made their way around the room, instantly transforming everything they touched. The walls turned white, with shiplap paneling on the bottom. Baby blue planes and clouds covered the top half. The desk turned into a fully stocked changing station covered in little cartoon animals. A massive adult sized crib appeared, alongside shelves and chests overflowing with stuffed animals and toys. Everything Lilith would need to take care of her little Mikey. Mikey’s eyes lit up with excitement as he watched the transformation. The little sparkles of light danced around the room effortlessly, completing the magical transformation before returning to the tip of Lilith’s wand, disappearing as quick as they had come. Lilith smiled as she watched Mikey’s face, knowing that this was exactly what he wanted. “Why don’t we have a little more fun while we're at it?” She said with a smirk, giving her already massive breasts a quick tap with her wand before returning it to her sock. Mikey’s mouth opened wide as Lilith’s breasts began to inflate. Quickly outgrowing their usual size and fulfilling his wildest dreams. His eyes stayed locked on her breasts as Lilith smiled down at him. “Milky! Milky!” He shouted. “What's that dear?” Lilith teased. “I want Mommy Milky!” He shouted, now trying to use his hands to pull her shirt down. “Okay, calm down, baby,” She said, gently carrying him over to the newly found rocking chair, and taking a seat. She laid him out across her chest as she pulled her shirt off, letting her two massive breasts plop out. Mikey instantly used his hands to grab a hold of one, guiding it to his mouth as he latched on, almost instantly starting to suckle. He felt the warm, sweet milk hit the tip of his tongue as his mind instantly melted away. Forgetting everything that had happened leading up to this moment. He continued to suckle, pulling in a mouth full of warm milk as he could feel his stomach rumble. “That's it. Drink up, my little prince,” She cooed, running her hands through his hair. Without warning, he felt his bowels open as he pushed a big mound of poo into the back of his diaper, feeling it spread across his soft cheeks as he continued to suckle on his Mommy’s boobs. He could feel the mess spread as more continued to come out, only making him happier with each passing second. It was all more than he could ever have hoped for. His cock now throbbed, pushing against his soiled diaper as he shifted to leverage it against his Mommy. He began to hump. Pushing his hips up against his Mommy as he felt his wet, mushy diaper rub against his sensitive parts. Lilith got up, holding Mikey against her breast as he continued to suck. She carried him over to his changing station and laid him out before pulling her breast away. “Look at you. You’re so cute,” Lilith said, using her thumb to wipe away the excess milk on the sides of his mouth. “Why don’t we get this icky little diappy off of you? Hmmm?” She cooed, moving to unbutton the snaps of his onesie as she exposed his soiled diaper. Mikey let out a soft moan as Lilith untaped his diaper, exposing his rock hard shaft to the brisk air. “My my,” Lilith said. “I think someone is a little excited about all of these new things”. She said, proceeding to wipe him down, cleaning up the icky mess as Mikey’s cock throbbed with each delicate wipe. She slid a fresh diaper under him, before she proceeded to coat his member in baby powder, dumping a rather generous amount on before slowly working her hand towards his shaft. “Does someone want to make cummies?” Lilith teased, running her fingers up his shaft. Mikey violently shook his head as he felt her delicate touch. “Yes!” “Mmmm, I don’t know…” Lilith teased, still slowly running her finger up and down his throbbing cock. “Pwease, Mommy!” Mikey shouted, throwing his hands down softly in a pouting motion. Lilith did hesitate. She quickly wrapped her hands around his little cock as she started to stroke it. Gentle at first, but she gradually gained speed as she watched her new little boy whimper on the table before her. “You're such a cute little baby boy,” She cooed, looking down at him with a smile. “Such a good little boy too”. Mikey whimpered as he felt himself already approaching a climax. Lilith could tell, but it's what she wanted. “That's it baby, make cummies for Mommy,” She said. “Cum for Mommy, sweetie”. Mikey’s cock twitched violently as he shot out several spurts of cum as Lilith continued to stroke. “Good boy!” She cooed, watching his cum pile up on his tummy. “You make Mommy so proud, do you know that?” Mikey was too out of it to respond. Trapped in a world of ecstasy for a moment as his deepest wishes had all come true at once. “On second thought, we should get you a nice warm bath to wash off in,” She said, giving his tummy a quick wipe before lifting his powered butt off the table and setting him on the rug in the center of the room. She opened one of the chests, pulling out a bin of hot wheels and set it in front of him. “You play with these for a bit while Mommy goes and gets a bath started for you,” Lilith said. Mikey instantly dove his hands into the box, dumping the cars everywhere with little care for much else in the world. This was exactly what he wanted. Did you enjoy the story? Want to read the next couple of chapters early without waiting? Check out my Patreon!

Single Foster Father Chapter 1: My New Babies I walked into the group home not sure what to expect, really. The woman, a Sharon Rhimes had called me in the day before telling me, a 47 year old single man, that after three long years of waiting to be vetted and to finally pass through the red tape and the multiple checks that were required, that they finally had two children that might benefit from a single father like me. My name is Alan Riverstone, and with graying medium brown hair, bushy eyebrows, and a less than perfectly smooth shave, I walked into this darkened room where even with the lights on everywhere, there seemed to be a gloom about the green walled place. My red and white checkered shirt and somewhat faded but still in good repair bluejeans hung confidently from my wiry frame. The round lenses of my spectacles took in a room full of children playing on the floor or reading in the chairs—some as young as seven or eight, and some as old as fourteen years. I glanced around trying to see if I recognized the children that I’d finally get to father, as I walked behind the pole of a woman with red hair and green eyes. “So, as I told you on the phone, Mr. Riverstone, these two children that somewhat fit your request, and who really need someone that they can look to for protection, have had difficult situations particularly in the last year.” I nodded my head heavily as the woman talked to me about my new children. “The younger child, a ten year old, was rescued from a place that didn’t believe in her so much, that she suffered from neglect because the people that were entrusted to protect her allowed their son who was nearly five years older than her to do awful things to her.” “What, did he hit her?” “Well, no, but what he did do, would be considerably, arguably, worse by most.” I frowned and gritted my teeth. Who would do something even worse, not that hitting was okay, but if it was worst than that, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know what they did to the poor little one. “What’s the baby’s name?” I asked. “Well, she’s far from a baby,” the woman told me as though she thought I was somehow unable to distinguish a two year old from a ten year old, but I didn’t see any point in getting on with that fight. My purpose here, was to collect my two babies, and to finally take my own daughters home with me. She had said I was getting daughters that evening before. “So, the ten year old’s name is Michelle,” she went on after eyeing me for a moment, but seemed to have decided that me calling the ten year old a baby wasn’t the worst crime any new parent has committed. “She has a lot of trust issues and at the same time, she is pretty needy.” I just nodded. I felt like anyone that is older than three in a system that placed you with strangers rather than with familiar people would be needy anyway; even if not all of them wanted to accept it. I walked into an office with a large bureau in the center of the room, the typical rolling chair behind it with two formal looking comfortable chairs that faced it. To one side, there were two little girls, sitting at a table, somewhat quiet, though I had the distinct impression that they had been whispering moments before the door opened. The lady was still talking to me, as though it didn’t matter, and that the children in the office were in on what she was sharing with me already. “Michelle’s mother was less than ideal, but the system had given her another chance, and she was taken away from her again just last month.” I frowned. “So… I’m going to be having a parent coming around that gets visitation, but is less than ideal for the girl?” “No,” the woman said. “She has lost visitation rights when she was caught a couple months ago using her daughter to commit crimes for her.” I frowned. “Michelle, honey, will you come over here? I have someone I’d like you to meet,” Sharon addressed the little girl with brown hair that had a light reddish glow to it. Her face had a few cute little spots particularly by the nose that I just adored, and she had amber brown eyes. The little one wore a green top that was quite dirty and stained, and as she approached us, I could smell that it seemed she had not taken a bath in days. Her little legs were covered by a pair of purple pants that had holes in them, and they were quite as stained and dirty as the top, if not worse. What was worse, as I looked out the window into the winter day, and was easily reminded that it was snowing, I sort of wondered where her socks were as she did have on some shoes, but those shoes did not look like they were meant for winter. The tops of her feet were exposed, and they seemed to have blisters on them, as well. The shoes also definitely had seen better days. I smiled upon seeing Michelle come over and show me a picture she had colored. It was actually a really nice one, and I wondered if I knew children at all, or if maybe she had some talent. The child smiled back at me, and in her hands, was a picture of a nice little house and a nice little yard with a large bonfire next to it. Trailing out of the fire, was a length of something that I supposed at first was a snake; for I had my attention mostly on the little cutie that held it. “Those are belts,” she seemed to guess that I had would not get that they were belts rather than snakes from the first moment of looking at the colorful picture. “Why are the belts burning?” I asked her. “Because that girl doesn’t like belts,” the little one pointed at the other child who had been at the little round table with her. “There’s wire hangers in the fire, too, but I decided not to show one because that older girl told me that she didn’t think that wire hangers would burn up like belts.” I frowned as I turned to the dark blond girl who looked a little fuller in weight, as well as a little taller because of course the other little one I was getting was supposed to be thirteen years of age. Even if she was to be thirteen, I wasn’t sure if the ten year old was tall for a child her age, or if the thirteen year old was short, but the height difference between them was not as extreme as I thought it would be. I smiled over at the little teenager, and she narrowed her eyes at me for a moment, but as I continued to just smile at her, she dropped her brown eyes to her lap, and I thought I saw a small smirk on her face as it lit up for just a moment before she forced herself to frown again. “That one is Samantha,” Sharon told me as I looked at the baby with a brown shirt that had long thick sleeves, and a pair of jeans that had no holes at all, her panties and lower stomach was covered perfectly by her jeans top, even to the point that when she scooted out and started to walk towards us, I didn’t see the pants pull down or the shirt pull up showing any of her panty at all. I mean, that could mean she was just more decent than most girls took care to be, but somehow, by the way it looked as I looked back at Mrs. Rhimes, I felt that there was going to be a lot more to it than that, perhaps even the reason she hated belts. “That child has been in the system since she was around four,” the lady told me. “And she had never been adopted because almost every person she has ever been tried with had returned her within six months telling us she was too much. This last family she was with lasted the longest, nearly a year with her, but in the end, they really should not have had the opportunity to even have a child.” I frowned. “Did they...?” I grew a little worried about what could have happened to her. Sharon nodded. “They hit her regularly most of the time, it turns out, with wire hangers, but they also used the backs of shoes, belts, and just a couple of nights ago, when she was taken away from them, a garden hose.” I felt tears run to my eyes. “They hit her with a garden hose, and with… with…,” I couldn’t get the words out. “...With anything that they thought would hurt her,” Sharon concluded my thoughts. “Why on earth?” I asked without meaning to. I mean, sure, I wondered that, but I didn’t expect anyone to have a logical answer for that kind of behavior towards a child. Children are not punching bags! “Because I’m bad,” I heard someone whisper. The whisper in the air was so gentle and soft as it seemed to linger, it was if someone took a strand of honey, that barely hung together, as if anymore pulling would break it in half, and the echo of it tortured my mind. “No one is THAT bad,” I told her. “I don’t care what they think you did, or what you think you did,” I felt my lip quiver as I spoke to her. “No child deserves to be hit with a garden hose, a hanger, or a shoe. Those are not natural, even for someone that believes in spanking a child.” She just looked down for a couple of minutes. Frowning, I rubbed her arm as I held her close to me trying to hug her. “She does have some social issues,” Sharon told me seriously as I looked down collecting myself from what I had just heard the child say. “She lies, she steals, and she sometimes bullies little kids.” I looked up again, and then to the thirteen year old, that even while I was sitting, it felt like she was barely a head over my shoulder. “Do you like to steal?” I asked her though I was not accusing her, but just trying to give her a chance to deny it. Samantha actually just shrugged. “Sometimes,” she mumbled. “Well, Sometimes...? Sometimes, the only way you get to eat, is if you steal.” Michelle looked up at me from the other side, for I had each of them at each side of me as we got to understand each other. The little Michelle was nodding. “My mom made me steal from people so we could eat sometimes. The police caught me the last time, and so I got put with that other people, and now, I’m in jail.” “Honey, do you think this place is jail?” I asked her. Michelle nodded. I looked over at Mrs. Rhines. “I told you, her mother made her do crimes, and that’s one of the reasons she has lost visitation rights to see her. She was warned a couple of years before about doing that to her daughter, but the child was inside someone’s house, who let her in to use the bathroom, and they found out she tried to take money from them, and they called the police instead of her mother, who seemed to have run away.” I shook my head. By now, with both of the girls right next to me for a few moments now, I realized that one or maybe both of them smelled like they hadn’t bathed in a couple of days. “So, both girls have been stealing, lying, and the older one hits little kids,” Mrs. Rhimes summed it all up for me as she passed me their folders. “Now, I know that they are not ideal kids for anyone, but honestly, given you are forty-seven years of age, have no wife or woman in your life, and that you are not exactly middle class, you are lucky that you were even approved as quickly as you were.” I frowned but I knew that I’d be judged a little bit more than most, especially since I wanted girls to spoil instead of a boy. “But you were approved, so while these are the first girls that we have available for you, they are not the best you can get if you want children a little better behaved.” “And what will happen to these two angels if I don’t take them?” I asked. “The elder one will likely continue to be put in temporary homes until she gets too big for that, and then she will live a couple of years in a halfway house, and finally age out of the system….” “With no one really loving her?” I asked. The lady nodded and I saw her face go taut as though there was as much disgust to her about that idea as I felt the pit in my stomach telling me that I could not even think about letting that happen. “And the little one?” “She’s still ten. If she turns herself around and stops stealing and lying, she might have a chance, but with what she’s learned….” “That’s just as unlikely, and she’ll end up the same way as the elder child?” The woman nodded. “You know what, I understand what it is like to have no one believe in you.” The woman now looked at me as if she wondered if I was comparing what I’ve seen or experienced to these children. I explained a little bit. “I wanted to have a nice little family complete with a wife and children of our own, but life doesn’t always give us what we want, but in the end, if we try to believe in ourselves enough, life will give us what we need.” The lady looked at me sideways, but I didn’t want to go into the ugly divorce where Angela had taken our child with her and without even asking for child support, just disappeared. “I don’t care what you believe, I want both of these little angels,” I told her. Mrs. Rhimes nodded and under her breath I heard her whisper. “I hope you last longer than a year.” I just tried to ignore what I thought I heard, and I grabbed both my little children around the waist, and even though the thirteen year old was a little big for it, and might even fight it, I pulled them into my lap anyway and hugged them. I heard the teenager suck in air as I pulled gently at her shoulder to get her in my lap, though at first I had not known which it was. I turned them both to face me, to see if I could decide which it was. The elder child had a look on her face, and she flinched her shoulder from me. I whispered to her. “Does it hurt, sweetie?” The child narrowed her eyes at me for a moment, but as I continued to stare my own blue emotion softened eyes at her, she eventually dropped her cold stare and nodded a little. “Is it inappropriate for me to see what damage they did to my child?” I asked Mrs. Rhines. “I’d rather look here, in front of another woman in front of her, so she and the younger one don’t get scared.” “You mean you want to look at her naked?” the motherly woman sounded a little surprised. “She just whispered out that she is still hurt, Mrs. Rhimes. You said she had been beaten a couple of days ago. Even if she was beaten a lot, it feels weird to me that she still hurts from whatever happened to her, and I am going to look one way or another because I’m worried about her. I figured if I looked at her while she is in the safety of another woman watching, she’d be a lot less scared, but if I have to, I’ll just look at her privately.” “Well, that’s hardly something a first time parent normally says when they are adopting.” “Just because they don’t say it,” I let it trail off wondering if I was being strange. “Look, I don’t know what being a father is like. I just know, I care if the kids are hurt, and she really seemed to try to bite her tongue the best she could, but she flinched, and she hurts.” “We do have photos,” Mrs. Rhimes told me. “I’m sorry, but I have a feeling that photos are not really going to do justice to what I need to know about my new children,” I told her. “I mean…, it’s not weird for a parent to worry if they think their child is hurt, is it?” “I suppose you are right. I know I still look at my high school daughter’s owies, if she complains too much about an injury that a moment ago looked innocent.” Michelle shivered a little bit though, and I held her to me. “What’s wrong, honey?” “You gonna put your hand in my pants,” she told me shaking. “Put my hand in your pants?” “Yeah. I don’t like that.” “Honey, I’m just going to see if you have owies, and Mrs. Rhimes is here. She is going to make sure it is safe. I bet she wouldn’t let me take you home with me if she thinks I’m unsafe.” Michelle looked at the nice social worker, and then back at me. “Okay. But your hands stay out of my panties, both of you,” she said with a shiver. I felt water in my eyes. I felt a tug at my heart. I hoped she was not eluding to what it seemed she was. Samantha, the elder child looked at me for a minute, and I saw the dismissive, teenage attitude in her eyes. I could tell she wanted to say, “Loser! I don’t have to do this. You’re just being gross,” or maybe she had other even harsher words for me, but you know, when you take care of a kid, you shouldn’t mind what they think of you at that one moment, but rather, you should do what you know is right, and knowing if my children are hurt is more right than worrying about their modesty. Samantha sighed, and she pulled up her shirt and off it went, revealing so many thin lashes that looked like little cuts, some of which did break the skin. Along with those, there were other broader lashes that left her skin darker in some areas, and then there was the heavier beatings all over her back, and then up and down her things, and eventually, without me saying anything, she took off her training bra and even pulled down her panties. I had seen enough. “You said that I will get the foster money in about fifteen days?” I asked the woman. “Yes?” “Is there anyway I can get some of it early, or maybe even just a recommendation for a doctor that will look at her before then?” “We did take her to see a doctor about these bruises,” Sharon told me. “Right…,” I said drawing out my reply trying to buy some time to think on how to respond in a way that was not accusing them of neglect, but wanting to point out that the hose hit her in very scary places that might have done more damage on the inside. “Look,” the red headed woman looked at me as she nodded to Samantha that she could pull up her pants and put her shirt back on. “The doctor checked for broken bones and her heart and lungs are working just fine.” I sighed. “She was hit more around her lower abdomen than anywhere else. I’m glad she doesn’t have broken bones, a punctured heart or lungs or whatever, but…,” and I pulled little Samantha back towards me, pulled her jeans back down to show the woman her back, her side, and where the welt disappeared into where she still had her panties up. I didn’t need to show her privates again. “She might not be okay just because her bruises will heal.” “Look, we did check her over, and the file on my desk has her medical file in it, and the one for Michelle has hers, as well.” “So… you are saying I’m not allowed to take her to see a doctor anyway, just to make sure?” “No, actually, I’m kind of glad you are insistent on that. I’m just trying to tell you that you’ll have to wait for the money and the insurance process to change and put them in your name.” I sighed. “Alright. Let’s see Michelle then.” One thing I said nothing about, but that I had noticed about poor little Samantha, was her panties had some stains in them, but it was probably because she didn’t wipe well. It probably wouldn’t take that much to teach her to wipe better and let her know the importance of it, but I’d do that later, after she was more comfortable with me. Michelle wasn’t really bruised much more than you’d expect from a healthy child playing around, so I was glad of that, but I did notice that she shook a lot when we had her pants down, even though I saw no reason to pull the squirming watery eyed child’s panties down. Her hands were securely on each side, keeping them in place, and she shook, as though she was ready to fight us tooth and nail if she had to. “Her mother did…?” I started to ask Mrs. Rhines. “No. Her mother has been out of the picture for a couple of months. Another bad situation, actually. In her case, the fostering family had a boy about five years older than her that was doing stuff to her.” That was enough. The children had been exposed enough and scared enough. I learned what I needed, so I intended to sent the children out of the office while I signed the papers that probably went into further details about what happened to them both. “Alright, babies,” I told them both. “While Mrs. Rhimes and I finish signing the paper work so I can take you to your new home, maybe you should go use the toilet and then get anything you want to bring with you.” Michelle looked up at Mrs. Rhimes, and when she nodded at her, the little ten year old was off like a flash, but Samantha hung back for a moment, and stared intently at me. I couldn’t help but look back up at her. “No one ever checked for bruises before,” she whispered at me. I smiled. “Well, I hope you take this as a sign that things are going to be different and hopefully better.” “Well, um… you saw, right?” “That you were hurt, yes, baby.” “No, I mean, that… um… I… the reason I got hit the other night.” “This happened the other night?” I asked her. “The hose beating did.” “Well, no, sweetheart, I didn’t notice a good reason to hit you with the garden hose. Do you want to tell me what I should have noticed?” “You didn’t see that I pooped my panties?” I frowned and looked down. “I… I did see, but I thought it was something else, baby.” “Oh, okay. Well, I was bad, so….” I grabbed her around her waist, and I sat her in my lap. “Bad?” I asked. “Because I pooped my pants…,” I could see tears starting to threaten appearance through her moistened eyes. “Baby, even if you did that kind of thing on purpose, and I highly doubt it given how embarrassed you were to even show us, and how much you are shaking to tell me about it, even if it was on purpose, it is no reason to beat a child with a hose.” She looked into my eyes, as if she was trying to read me. I just stared blankly back at her, not really sure how to explain to a child that has been abused as much as she has, that there is never a situation where it is okay to beat a child like this. “Samantha, go get your stuff, baby. I’m taking you home along with Michelle. You are my child, now, sweetheart.” “You… are you still taking me, even if I poop my pants all the time in the car?” I rubbed her back. “First of all, Yes, even if you poop your pants all the time, I’m taking you home. And if you are just pooping in the car and not really anywhere else, then it sounds like to me, that I need to learn what is causing it, so I can do something differently.” She stared at me for a few more seconds, and then she said, “I steal.” “Well, again, yes, I’m taking you even if you steal stuff. I’ll have to keep an eye on you for a while if that is true, but again, if you are admitting it, then it sounds like I need to find out why, and what I can do differently that will help you not do it anymore.” “It’s not other people’s fault if I’m doing bad stuff.” “Normally,” agreeing with her, I nodded my head as I responded. “I would agree with you. However, I’m not sure of what was done to you that made you feel like you had to steal or go to the bathroom on yourself. It’s not most teenagers that would go to the bathroom on themselves even if they are mad at someone. Something that bothers you caused this, sweetheart.” She looked at me for a moment longer, but finally, she turned and walked off to go get her stuff and to hopefully use the toilet.

Now that I have been to the office wearing a diaper a couple of times, I think I'm ready to start my challenge of being diapered all of October, including at work and social gatherings. My wife is even trying to come on board, yesterday before we went to visit the Movie Park Germany with the family, she asked if I had a clean diaper on, later that day in the Park she asked if I didn't need to put on a clean one too. I had packed a spare Tena Super in our day-bag with her full knowledge. She doesn't check my diaper but having her ask is enough to lift my heart each time. This happens only occasionally though. The other night I went to an ex-pat party in a bar in Town with about 20 people, I thought about not wearing, it was still September, but came to the conclusion that as I was contemplating to be in diapers for the whole of October and had been for 10 days already why skip? Sitting on a barstool with my legs a little spread I did start to notice the diaper bulge in my crotch, if people would pay attention it's more visible than my slightly more padded butt. I'll adjust my position in future or place my hands in my lap. So far I have not experienced any problems or embarrassments, the more I wear I think less about being in a diaper. It's now just part of my Daily routine, before bed I wash under the shower, dry off and put some baby oil over the diaper area, put on a night time diaper covered by plastic pants and a tight boxer short. In the morning I get up and put on jogging pants to hide the bulge of my wet diaper, have coffee with my wife and start to get the kids ready for daycare. At some point I take a shower and go through the washing and oiling routine, put on a Tena Super and go of to work. At work I usually have a change around lunchtime, freshen up with some wet-wipes, in the evening the whole routine starts over again.

I really wish someplace made simple ABDL videos that were just fun an cute. Nothing long an drawn out, but 20 to 25 min long, but all about a fun experience for an adult baby If filmed in an adult nursery that would really be great too. Also they would be free to watch Thoughts

I am an adult baby mentally. However, the reality of actually trying to live even a small portion of my life as a baby is impossible. I am a responsible person who feels the need to be responsible, supportive, compassionate, loving and stable at all times. That's just my other side that doesn't afford opportunity to put on a diaper, suck on a binkie, bottle or breast and wear a onesie all day. *sigh* Maybe when I pass on heaven will have a place like that. I have resigned myself that these desires will only be a fantasy for me. I also like to be a strict Daddy as well to little girls, but again that will probably only be a fantasy for me. For me, I love strict and stern parental figures who use corporal punishment and other punishments to correct their littles. I don't like stories of people who are cruel. Cruelty to me is empty for me. Without some love, it feels abusive. No offense if that is something that turns you on. So why am I here. I love to read the stories and look at the cartoons. I would like to create more stories along the themes I just shared. I think I will post some stories that I have worked on before. Hopefully, I can add to the great stories that I found here before. Thanks, Steve

I grew up, well not really “grew up”, watching that show a loooong time ago. It was one of my favs. Even as a teen, I still watched Mr. Dress Up in the morning before school. I watched a lot of little kids shows when I was well past the age of the kids those shows were directed at. I just related to them and really enjoyed them. Still true today. Mr. Drees Up was one of my favourites. Casey’s mouth didn’t move but could talk. Finnegan’s mouth moved but didn’t make a sound.

I loved that show as a kid. He seemed like a genuinely good guy.

I want to apologize to everyone that has been waiting on another chapter. I sometimes take breaks like this, but still promise to keep working on it. I'm just finishing a ab/dl kingdom hearts story I started several years ago. Thanks for your patience 🙏

Thanks to @Menaiya for starting us off with $25

Yes why does everything have to do with making money, and actually if an age player had most of the items then it could done. It doesn’t have to be professional just fun for all

The advent of the professional "YouTuber" has spoiled us rotten. The origial YT was just that; for just plain folks. But now, who would watch such?

IIRC; DD used to have a video section

@Rachael-Little I would love to see videos like this. How much stuff on the Internet nowadays, that I remember back in the days like when I was like 25 or 26, this is like in 95 or 96, we ended up having the Internet be a little bit different or maybe a lot different than what we have today. Most of the stuff that was AB related or DL related was probably considered either sex videos or something that was X rated. Then you ended up with so much junk like all these downloaders and things that they wanted you to download to be able to put all this on your computer and all it did was gum up the works. It was so confusing and so dangerous back then to be able to just download videos like that that you wouldn't want to touch it and you are afraid that you downloaded a video you wanted but you also downloaded a virus exclamation I would really love it if there was a place that I could trust to download videos and be able to see some of them for free. Ever since I became a member here in 2019, I actually have downloaded several videos from Diaperperv, @zombieg - I trust her sight, and I love the videos that she does, because she really does know how to get right down to business and make you feel little or make you feel like a baby or exactly what you want her to make you feel like. She's right there and makes it feel so real that you feel like you could reach into the screen and touch it or do whatever they're doing or have her do it to you and you feel like she's doing it right to you because of the way that they do it. I've downloaded several of her videos, and I love them, I play them constantly sometimes because I get in the mood to have that happen, and she is a real awesome person to be downloading videos from. There are also places where you can get free videos, but I if I was gonna try to get free videos first of all I'd make sure that whatever video that we have is OK to post unset the site, and then I would end up having a place where the that is what you download. Download any screwy downloaders, you don't download any viruses, you don't download something that you didn't expect, when you order a video that's what you get. That's why you have to be extra careful on the Internet because some dork head will try to put something in there that doesn't belong! I love those types of videos that you're trying to say that you want, and I endorse free videos as well, but if there is any site that I would want to buy from would be One that I can trust, and I would want to make sure that if there's any place that you download videos also that you compensate the person doing it fairly as well but that is one thing that would be interesting. Love the videos that I download, and it's awesome! Brian

Oh don't I know it... I was originally going to work on another story that would have been very horror-centric, but this story just spoke a lot more to me at this point. Maybe next year...

And this has what to do with diapers?

I hope there is going to be more of this story soon !

Chapter 16 I've been really bad about posting updates for this - Updates coming soon! ... The Archipelagon stood as a testament to, if nothing else, the sheer wealth of nobility. Neither an archipelago, nor a paragon of anything besides opulence, it nonetheless stood proud as the most ostentatious structure for a thousand miles in any direction. A shrine to Abadar, geometrically perfect, a hexagon wall around a circular temple. At a glance, Sandra could not identify the material it’d been made of–or perhaps, coated in. It seemed the whole structure had been painted a perfect, pearly white. “I don’t get it,” Quinn said, setting down Tarja for a moment and scratching his chin as they came over a ridge, into view of the Archipelagon. “What don’t you get?” Tarja asked, shaky on her feet. As bad as her dexterity drain had grown, she had been having trouble walking and even standing, but she could wobble for a bit on her own when Quinn needed a break from carrying her. “It’s a temple.” Quinn shrugged. “Well, for the ‘God of walls and ditches’, I expected…I don’t know.” “More ditches?” Hadrian chuckled, stretching his back. “Less walking?” “The owner said he’d give an audience to anyone who makes a pilgrimage to see the place,” Sandra said. “Pilgrimage means walking. As for the ditches…Eh. Abadar rules over other stuff. More to the point, all the real temples–sorry, all of the tithe-funded temples restrict access to their inner sanctums, and none of us are priests. So we’re going to play the game just long enough to have this chat.” “Pilgrims can have horses,” Hadrian said, kneeling to rub at the back of his legs, through a layer of latex. “My calves are killing me.” Sandra shook her head. Hadrian was just venting, they all knew why they were here. They’d drawn the attention of the gods, and all of them wanted to know what was going on. Priests could sometimes be persuaded to relay messages, but in this case, they needed a divine chat, and the nearest likely candidate was here. The Archipelagon. A structure built and funded by a politician-slash-businesswoman with far, far too much money on her hands. After a bit of soul searching, Sandra had proposed they needed more information. They’d been playing catch-up and fighting blind for too long. Making guesses and running fetch-quests to patch over the last mistake. The time had come to find a god and get some answers. “Let’s rest a minute,” Quinn said. “I need a little break.” Hadrian exhaled sharply through his nostrils, not quite a laugh. “Really?” Quinn almost let his request die, then straightened and shook his head. “Yeah, really. I’m tired. I need a break, or for someone else to carry Tarja.” Blinking, Hadrian said, “Oh, I–sorry. I’m just so used to you being Muscle Man, I wasn’t thinking about that.” “It’s fine,” Quinn said, moving to the edge of the road and sitting down. “It’s not so much the weight as the awkwardness–I’m as strong as ever, but it’s hard to hold a good grip and keep balance when she’s twice my size, and I’ve got to take twice as many steps as the rest of you.” “I–” Tarja said, a little pink. “I could walk on my own for a bit.” Sandra blushed sympathetically. Even though it allowed Tarja to bypass the dexterity drain she’d been cursed with, the side effect was humiliating: If Tarja wanted to walk, she had to choose to wet herself. Even with the option to put on a diaper beneath her cursed onesie, it was almost worse than simply having her potty training erased. “If you’re okay with that,” Sandra said. Tarja’s arms straightened, hands tightening into balls, and her blush deepened bright red. Nobody commented on the process, just waiting until the changeling relaxed, no longer wobbly or unstable in the slightest. “Let’s get a move-on then,” Sandra said, offering a hand to Quinn. He was remarkably light in his reduced form, and she added with a chuckle, “I could carry you for a bit, if you want.” He took the comment as intended: As a lighthearted joke disguising a genuine offer for help. Smiling, he shook his head. “I’m alright. Thanks.” The remaining mile to the Archipeligon went quickly. Ivory gates loomed, a large key embossed in stark relief, ensuring nobody with even a passing knowledge of religion or the arcane could miss the purpose of this temple. The four of them staggered up, dusty, dirty, riddled with magical curses that rendered each almost as laughable as the next–save for Sandra, who’d been purged of her curses and stood almost back at her normal self. Almost. With a shudder, the gates opened, slow and imposing. Sandra could make out the faint glow of a magical mechanism beneath them, turning the cogs that moved the huge alabaster-white gates. As the gates open, a short, slender halfling woman outfitted in a tailored suit of crimson and pale green fabric, raised her hands up to her sides in a gesture of greeting. Sandra knelt, and taking her lead, the others did as well. “Archbanker Blackdown.” “Please,” Praye Blackdown said, spreading her arms genially. “I’m merely a humble servant of Abadar, I’ve got no claim to the title of Archbanker.” “This is your temple, isn’t it?” Tarja asked, glancing up at her. “I built it with the wealth I’ve earned under Abadar’s grace, but I’m no cleric,” Blackdown explained. “Come in, I received your message, and we’ve much to discuss. Will you be changing into supplicant’s clothes now that you’re off the road?” Sandra looked over the party. Hadrian didn’t have anything on over his latex bodysuit–as he’d explained, it was hot and stifling enough without adding extra layers. Tarja’s onesie was covered by her normal travel clothes and armor, and the bulge of her diaper was mostly hidden unless one knew what to look for. Quinn had stayed armored on the road–meaning he had on his pink, ruffled dress full of petticoats. And finally, Sandra had worn her typical armor, with the addition of the tail she’d acquired in the dream realm, and… It didn’t particularly matter. “We didn’t bring any supplicant’s clothes, unless you have something for us to change into,” she said. “This is, generally, what we wear when working.” Blackdown’s smirk carried subtle condescension, but she didn’t comment on it aloud. “Well, come in.” They approached through the huge gate, so tall that the whole party could have stood on each other’s shoulders and not reached the top, and the enormous doors crept closed behind them. “Explain to me why you’re here,” Praye Blackdown instructed, as they walked across a wide, sandy courtyard separating the outer walls from the inner structure, a boxy white temple made of the same matter as the walls. Crates and carts full of trade goods were stacked out in the courtyard, and off to the right Sandra saw stables being worked by experienced animal handlers. This wasn’t just a temple, then, but a place of business as well. Or, perhaps, the business conducted was a part of the temple’s nature. The god of Merchants would have a place for mercantilism to be conducted in his home, it only made sense. “What do you need to know?” Sandra asked. “We explained as much as we could in the letter we sent ahead.” “I know what I need to know,” Praye countered. “I want to hear your pitch. Sell it to me.” “Oh.” Sandra started. “Well, we’re here because we need to speak with the gods, or at least one of them, to figure out if they’re willing to help us–” “I’m sorry,” Praye said, as a smaller door to the inner temple opened up, pushed by an unseen bit of magic. “Were my instructions unclear? Tell me where I lost you.” “You wanted me to explain why we’re here, right?” Sandra asked, following her inside. Within the doors, she paused, stiffening as she looked around. The interior was all pearly white, same as the exterior, lit by gilded sconces shedding magical light, but had the layout of a place of business–with space for secretaries and middle management to do bookkeeping. “I told you to sell it to me,” Praye Blackdown explained. “I don’t care what you want, unless it offers some benefit for me.” “Ah–” Sandra said, distracted, trying to repitch the idea in her mind as they were led deeper into the temple, past the desks and filing cabinets. “Well, if things go well, we could stop the Wizard of Paraphilia, and stopping him is good for everyone. Yourself included.” “Hmm,” Blackdown considered, leading them finally to a side hallway. “Work on it, and do better when we speak tonight. For now, your lodging can be here–I strongly advise you to make use of the showers at the end of the hall, but the beds and rooms are yours to rest in.” Off guard by the sudden dismissal, Sandra didn’t know what to say until Praye Blackdown was already five steps away. “Why tonight?” “Because I prefer to conduct business over supper,” Blackdown explained. “I’ll have a servant come fetch you when dinner is ready.” And with that, she left, dismissing the party and the conversation without another thought. “I don’t like her,” Hadrian said, quietly, as they walked into the lodging–little more than a barracks, albeit one with fine silk sheets and pillowy blankets on down mattresses. “The gods want to speak to us,” Quinn said. “Does it really matter that we didn’t bring the right robes, or whatever?” “Be polite,” Sandra warned. “She still has the right to refuse us entry to the inner sanctum, and without access, we can’t talk to Abadar.” “I can play politics,” Hadrian promised. “But I’m not going to hold my tongue when she’s not even around to hear me.” Tarja collapsed onto one of the beds, her legs buckling out from under her as they entered–her curse reinstated in full force once again. “What’s our backup plan if we aren’t allowed in?” “We don’t really have one,” Sandra admitted. “It’s this, or we find another religious site not overseen by a priesthood, or else one of us will need to be inducted as a cleric somewhere so we can access a real holy site. Both of those options could take months or years, so I really don’t want to screw this up.” “Serendipity is looking into the possibility of talking to Calistria at an orgy,” Hadrian added. “But it’d need to be…intense, for there to be a chance that it works.” “Like I said,” Sandra repeated. “I really don’t want to screw this up. We just need Praye to let us into the inner sanctum, then we’ll be home free.” “Well, in the meantime,” Hadrian said, rubbing at the back of his legs, “I’m not going to say no to some rest and a shower. My calves are killing me.” Sandra nodded, gesturing with her head towards the bathroom. “Good call. Anyone mind if I go first?” At the lack of objections, she ducked into the bathroom, shutting the door and taking a breath. She was filthy from traveling. Heat meant sweat, and sweat and dust had caked her in a fine film of grime, but more than that she needed a change. Checking her trousers, she breathed a sigh of relief. Though she had leaked, the wet spot around the leg gathers was barely noticeable, almost certainly overlooked by Praye and the party. She needed to get better about that. Though she’d been freed of the cursed diaper and clothing, that freedom hadn’t been perfect. Though no longer trapped in a diaper, her potty training hadn’t returned, and a private conversation with a Calistrian healer had confirmed her fears–she’d need to work to get that control back the old fashioned way. And, another hiccup–she no longer had a magical, self-cleaning diaper. She’d had to learn to change herself, and more importantly, to check her diaper regularly to make sure she wouldn’t leak. By the wet crescent-moon shapes on the inside of her pants, that diligence needed work. She’d almost considered putting the cursed diaper back on, since she was stuck with the incontinence anyways, but disregarded the idea as impulsive. It might take a while, but her potty training would return, with practice and diligence. For now, she stripped herself naked and stepped into the shower. Her tail still hung between her legs–the counterspell designed to undo the Wizard’s curses had been fine tuned and specific to a certain frequency of magic, and any efforts to undo dream magic would need to be just as specific on an entirely different frequency. Still, she’d almost grown not to mind it. Unlike the humiliating curses from the Wizard, this felt almost more like…a gift, perhaps, if not one she’d have asked for. There was no malice behind it. Cleansing herself with hot water and fancy soap, Sandra dried herself off with a towel, then went about cleaning her clothes up with judicious prestidigitation. She’d found that the cantrip couldn’t quite clean a diaper while she wore it, but rinsed off and wrung out, the magic refreshed it to like-new. The leak stains vanished from her pants, and the dust melted off her clothes, leaving her clean and as professional as she could manage. It’d be good enough for Abadar, she expected–he’d already taken an interest in her activities. She just hoped it’d be good enough for Praye Blackdown as well. Returning to the room, she let Tarja go with Quinn to take the next turn in the bathroom, and for her free time she went with a nap for herself. Hadrian was right, the trip had been exhausting, and a little rest would do her good. “Sandra?” Quinn asked, nudging her arm. She sat up, surprised. “Huh?” She didn’t recall falling asleep, but she hadn’t heard Quinn or Tarja return, so she knew she must have dozed off. “Is it time for supper?” “No, but you were twitching,” Quinn said. “A nightmare, I’d guess.” “I don’t remember anything,” Sandra said, though she still felt a prickle of adrenaline, as though she’d been wary of a fight about to break out. The party had gotten ‘cleaned up’ as it were; similarly washing away the dirt and grime, cleaning up their clothes. Quinn at least looked less frilly, having removed his armor in exchange for simple traveling clothes, though he was still as busty as he was short. Tarja’s onesie was concealed, though the slight bulge of her diaper was not, and there was little Hadrian could do about his latex bodysuit save for wearing a fetching jacket overtop of it. Sandra stood and stretched, as much to untangle her muscles as her mind. She felt nervous for no reason she could pin down, save for the apparent nightmare she couldn’t recall. While she did that, a knock came at the door. Hadrian answered it, and a servant in a nicely tailored suit cleared his throat. “I’ve been sent to show you to the dining hall.” “Alright,” Sandra said, steeling herself for their greatest challenge yet: an awkward dinner. “Let’s do this.” … Dinner was served at a table of comical proportions. Long enough to seat thirty people, barely wide enough for one person to sit at either end, in a marble hall of equally grandiose design. Sandra briefly considered taking the bait and sitting at the far end, across from Praye Blackdown, but shouting through their conversation felt ill-advised, so she instead sat on Praye’s righthand side. Another complication presented itself: Praye had built this dining hall with her own body type in mind, and nobody else’s. The chairs were awkwardly short, with a table to match, and uncomfortably narrow, so that Sandra’s thighs were pressed up against the armrests. Quinn was right at home in his shrunken down body, but the rest of them sat awkwardly, legs bumping up against the underside of the table across from Tarja. Hadrian, unable to bend his legs quite far enough, just pulled the chair away and sat on the ground. Well-dressed servants poured wine into delicate glass flutes, while the first course, some kind of brothy soup, was laid out. “Did you work on your pitch while you rested?” Praye inquired, swirling her wine. “I gave it some thought,” Sandra said. It wasn’t totally a lie–she had considered it, at least. “The gods have already expressed interest in speaking with us. We know they’re watching. Were you to deny us access, you’d be risking the ire of several powerful deities.” Nodding, Praye’s lips played up in a slight smile. “That’s better, I suppose. But have you considered the alternative?” “What alternative?” Sandra asked, knees bumping against the bottom of the table as she tried to shift to get comfortable. “That, should you insult the gods with your presence, I could draw their ire for allowing you into my sanctum,” Praye explained. “So what assurances do I have that you’re going to perform well?” Sandra seethed, and she heard Hadrian’s latex clothes squeak as he shifted in annoyance. Before he could say anything cutting, she said, “We’ve gone up against the Wizard before and bloodied his nose, and come away from it alive and whole. He’s pursued us and been held off. Our information about his magic is greater than anything anyone else in the realm has learned. Who else do you know that can make such a claim?” Praye’s smile never quite reached her eyes, but she nodded. “Tell me of your pilgrimage.” As servants brought out the main course–roasted meat in an expensive-smelling sauce–Sandra fought back frustration. Though she couldn’t prove it, she knew in her belly that Praye had already decided what she would do, and this whole conversation was a show for her entertainment. “We walked here, on foot, as per your request,” she explained. “As we already established, we don’t have any other robes or fancy clothing.” “Have you thought about where you might acquire such clothing?” Praye asked, tilting her head. Quinn made a small sound. Dammit. “Something to add?” Praye Blackdown asked. “Where would we?” Quinn said, bluntly. “Unless you’re offering to give us some.” “Certainly not,” Praye said. “Though, if you’d be interested in buying robes from me, that could be arranged.” “Sa–” Hadrian started. Sandra bumped him with her leg. “We’re fine, thank you,” Sandra insisted, drawing the conversation to a rather harsh conclusion before anyone else could blow it. “We just need to use your sanctum. Please. I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish with this test, but the gods have already shown that they’re interested in us. We’ve shown we can handle it. Give us leave, or don’t, but don’t bar us because we can’t play word games as well as you.” Praye tilted her head back in a slight nod. “As you wish, then.” Getting to her feet, Blackdown strode across the room, down the length of the table, and out the far door. That left the four of them alone, for a moment, uncertain where to go. “So, what happened to ‘be polite’?” Hadrian asked. Tarja chimed in, “Sandra, that was brash, you have to admit.” “She wasn’t going to let us win in the verbal sparring,” Sandra said. “I wanted to end the bout on our terms. And besides, we know Abadar wants to speak to us.” “Do you? Or was that an assumption made on incomplete information?” The voice that interjected was deep, and not particularly bothered, but also carried with it a sharp edge. It made Sandra think of her father, except that the subtleties in the tone were far deeper than any mortal. She looked down the length of the table. Fifty feet down at the far end, in the seat across from where Praye had been, sat a handsome man who appeared to be in his fifties, dressed in robes and armor of crimson and deep brass. Sandra faced him. “Lord Abadar.” “Sandra Cassidy,” Abadar replied. Though some forty feet down the table, his voice carried clearly. “You asked for this audience. Speak your piece.” Sandra didn’t allow herself to gawk, and cut simply and directly to the point. “We need something to allow us to defeat the wizard. He plans to make a new school of magic–and you know those plans could wreak havoc on the realms of mortals and gods alike if nobody stops him, and it’s clear you have a plan for us, so let’s lay it out. Hadrian can tell you what he’s learned of the wizard’s magic, and we can tell you everything we know about his tactics. What do you want us to do, and what can you give us?” He nodded his head. “And the reason you’re asking this of me?” “Because…” Sandra started. “Well, simply, because we could. And we couldn’t get to anyone else easily.” “Do you know the impact on trade and business that a new school of magic would cause?” Abadar asked. Sandra didn’t, precisely, but she took a guess. “It’d throw things into chaos.” “In what way?” Abadar inquired. “Specifically.” “I suppose–” Sandra started. “I’m not going to help you,” Abadar said, simply. “But, as a courtesy to my peers who would see you succeed, I will explain why.” Sandra swallowed. “Why did you–” “I did not request this conversation,” Abadar said. “We took note of your activities because you are acting against powerful forces, but notice is not the same as approval. Let me be clear, Sandra: Your goals are not in question here. Your ability to carry out those goals is.” “That’s why we need power,” Hadrian cut in. “Something you–or any god–can give us to even the scales. Surely–” His pacifier plopped into place between his lips, cutting him off. Abadar’s eyes narrowed. “You will allow me to speak.” “Did you–” Sandra started, glancing between Hadrian and Abadar. “You can control his curse?” He nodded slightly, approving of the question. “In a fashion. Magic is the lifeblood of all divinity. It shapes us, and in turn we control it. Now, may I continue?” Sandra kept quiet. She understood the implied, ‘If you interrupt again, I won’t be so polite.’ “You’ve only persisted this long due to a stroke of cosmic luck.” Abadar continued flatly. “You’ve shown cleverness, and tenacity, but cleverness and tenacity are not the only traits one needs when up against the wizard. Do you know why you’ve managed to survive against him so far?” “Why?” Sandra asked, vocalizing the hypothetical. “Because you’ve caught him by surprise, and you’re not worth his time.” Abadar let that statement hang in the air for a beat before he continued, speaking like a student to a child. “The Wizard of Paraphilia has amassed great power, and wrapped himself in defensive magic the likes of which you could hardly fathom. He is not incapable of destroying you, you’ve only found yourself in a position of being just strong enough that it’d be an inconvenience for him to do so. And were I to give you power–a boon, so you might go face him directly–he would suddenly find that inconvenience worth it.” “So get us more boons,” Sandra said. “So we can stop him for good. His power isn’t infinite.” “You are not the only mortal champions in the world,” Abadar countered. “Were it in my interest to face strength with raw strength, and simply overpower the wizard, I’d pick a paragon whose strength already rivals the wizard’s. That isn’t in my interest. The more power we bring into the mortal realm, the more we stir up trouble–we want the wizard defeated, yes, but not if his defeat brings forth greater danger.” “Hey now,” Quinn said. “We’ve kicked him where the sun don’t shine once before, we can catch him by surprise again. You’re acting like you’d have to bring in the full power of your divine strength to stop him for–” “Mmm,” Abadar raised a hand, and Quinn simply fell silent. “Please remember that my presence here is a courtesy. Waste my time again, and I will not hesitate to give up that courtesy.” “May I ask a question?” Tarja asked, quietly. He nodded. “You may.” “Would you?” she asked, quietly. It took Sandra a moment to jump back a few moments and recognize what Tarja was asking, but Abadar answered immediately. “It would take more power than I could bring into the plane without fracturing it beyond recognition. The wizard has found ways to tap into primordial powers, the powers he needs to enact his plans, and matching force with force has ceased to be an option. Though we might lend you much strength, it will take more than strength to beat him.” Sandra exhaled. “So what do you want from us?” “Nothing. You’re not the champions I’ve chosen,” Abadar explained. “We are watching, but that is all–we have observed your quests, and your failures, and the way you operate, and we are simply unimpressed.” He let a moment pass, for an objection. Sandra didn’t answer; He was going to explain regardless of what she said. “You have had only one moment of triumph over the wizard, and then only fleeting,” Abadar explained. “Your first meeting with traps he had left behind, you were soundly humiliated. Your second, you could hardly protect your charge from his curses. Every moment of your lives has been spent cleaning up from him, scraping by to undo a little of his damage. Only once, with careful preparation and clever trickery, were you able to face him as peers and get away, but that cost you more dearly than any other encounter, before or since. “To put it simply and plainly, you do not have the focus, the clarity, the presence and planning to be entrusted with our power. You are reactive. Your ability to handle threats as they arise is impressive given your inexperience, but that is all that it is–handling threats as they arise, taking your lumps, limping along weaker than before. Even now, before me, you are demonstrating your inability to think ahead past your next fight.” He let his words end for a moment, staring quietly at her. “I don’t understand,” Sandra said, when it seemed that he was leaving an opening to reply without incurring his wrath. “What did we miss?” “My favored supplicant tried to aid you,” he explained. “To give you guidance. She wouldn’t simply tell you the best way to speak to me, what I expect of any who demand my presence so brashly, but she tried. You ignored her.” He stood up from the seat, and though he only stood at the height of an above-average human, his presence grew imatterially, until he took up all the space in the room with the weight of his words. “You though yourselves so important that you could demand an audience with me, in hastily washed traveler’s garb. You brought no offering. You ignored her suggestions. You burned a relic from my domain–in case you thought I didn’t know about your abuse of the ledger you stole. You presumed to know what I would do, and never once considered that I might give an answer you didn’t want to hear.” Sandra had no response, or no good one. She shook her head. “So what are you going to do about the Wizard? Pick another group of champions?” “That,” he said sharply, and the anger in his tone shone clear. “Is none of your concern. Step carefully, Sandra Cassidy, and should you demand an audience with me again, first know that my courtesy has met its limits.” With a gout of golden fire, he vanished, leaving the room empty. Quinn gasped as his voice returned to him, the powers of speech restored with Abadar’s departure. Hadrian, less lucky, needed Sandra’s help to remove his pacifier. Even able to speak, though, the four of them had little to say. Tarja spoke up first, sighing as she said it. “We’re done.” “I’m sorry,” Sandra shook her head. “This is my fault. I should have known.” “No,” Tarja said, shaking her head. “We’re done. We’ve been told as much by the greatest authority we could ask. The fight isn’t ours anymore.” “But you’re still cursed,” Sandra said. “We haven’t fixed anything.” “Honestly.” Hadrian spoke tentatively, feeling out the words as he said them. “That’s…that’s fine. Someone else will sort out the wizard. We’ll get the curses removed eventually. There’s got to be a substitute for the ledger out there somewhere, some way to get all this dealt with. We can get back to our lives.” “I’d be fine with that,” Quinn added. “Hell, most of what was done to me, the wizard isn’t even at fault. I don’t have to wear the dress armor, and he didn’t make me this size. Curses are a part of the job. They’ll get fixed sometime or another.” Sandra slumped back in her chair, uncertain. She’d failed, but her party was okay. They were safe. And maybe they were right–maybe their normal lives could be returned to, maybe they could let someone else deal with the existential problems while they went back to more mundane quest work. She smiled. Maybe they were right. “Well, it’s worth a shot.” ... I've been neglecting to update this properly, but new updates will be following soon! If you want to support my writing, you can do so here for just a couple bucks a month: https://www.patreon.com/PeculiarChangeling https://subscribestar.adult/peculiarchangeling

This story is off to a good start. Other than a few minor errors this story is looking good.

Thanks for your review! This story really isn’t supposed to be realistic at all and I actually got the idea loosely based off the Black Mirror episode, “Black Museum”. If you decide to continue, the whole story just continues to devolve more into fantasy, stuff that could never be possible in reality. And without revealing anything, nothing about this woman is honest or the situations that have happened so far. I suppose you could also say the main character is loosely based off myself. I am probably the least attentive person, until someone points out the obvious and honestly in her situation, I would’ve been the same way ahaha. The story is set in America (Upstate New York) so apologies if it was Inferred to be in Europe? Being from Massachusetts and having been on many road trips, my favorite thing is finding little places like this off the grid not many people know about. I thought I’d implied not many people visit but those who do, she enjoys giving tours too. I’ve been to places like this many times, little museums in country towns people have never heard of. Keep in mind as well that this is only the first two parts, and still setting out the lay of it all! There is more to come and some of the stuff you were wondering about will come to make sense if you decide to stick around 😊! I do appreciate your comments however and I’ll be sure to keep them in mind!

After wearing a holey foley on and off for a couple of years I finally summoned up the courage to try a stent. I have been using a modified foley stent size Ch16 with partially inflated balloon for a couple of months now, with removals to change the stent and clean it. The pic shows one of the stents, the balloon had deflated somewhat due to leakage from the stopper in the fill tube, although I soon realised I was limited on the size of balloon I could pass due to my enlarged prostate. Early attempts using blue strimmer cord as a stopper on the fill line tended to leak and deflate the balloon, but I went to the green line and filed one end of the cord to help it in and this lasts for several weeks. I make the stent approx 12.5cm long and have never experienced migration into the bladder. The end of the stent rests behind my balls where the stent bends upwards toward the prostate. I have also used a 14mm diam. O ring instead of the balloon to retain the stent in the bladder with good results, although this can be harder to get in and is a bit scratchy to remove. When I first started I would wake up at about 3.30am with a partially full bladder. My nappy was wet so I had been incontinent, but the bladder struggled to drain without clenching the muscles to squeeze urine out. I'm not sure why this occurred. It may be coincidence, but I was then using a stent around 15cm long, but when I shortened it to 12.5cm I slept right through the night and woke up in the morning with a saturated nappy and an empty bladder. I've had total night time incontinence ever since- happy days! If anyone has any advice or questions then feel free.

I went poopy in my wet morning diaper about 45 minutes ago while in the kitchen getting coffee and now sitting here finishing my coffee in my very wet and messy Magnifico diaper, sooo warm and squishy as I squeeze the front of my diaper.

The story is coming along nicely with the chapter I've already completed. I should have another chapter out tomorrow or the day after at the latest, but then there will almost definitely be a day break after that. I need to do a rundown of the overall plot to just make sure I'm not leaving anything out or to make sure that all makes sense. It's not terribly difficult, but it usually takes more time than I can spare to write a new chapter, edit a previous one, and do the check at the same time. Regardless, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 12: Spasms and Stories They say it is darkest before the dawn, and reflecting on his time here now, Patrick couldn’t help but feel personally connected with this sentiment. Upon waking up on the first day of the last week of the first month with Psyche, he couldn’t help but marvel at the life he had come to know and how different he had felt since his previous breakdown in front of the group. While Addy still came in to give him his now usual change out of his wet diaper from the night before, bathe him in the tub with the soap that Samantha had given him, and then rediaper him for the day, there was still much to be thankful for. His breakdown in group, instead of alienating everyone, had actually shattered a part of the group’s conscious block that was still holding them back. The following day, everyone had just let out their own feelings about what was going on. They even made a game of it and practically howled at the sky with their frustrations out on the lawn. It was a silly scene to be sure, but not a single one minded. Dr. Halgen and the nurses couldn’t help but smile at the progress they were seeing, both health wise and other, in their patients. Patrick had a care been heaped on him as well afterwards by his friends and all showed their support for not only his lack of progress with walking, but his diaper usage as well. While Darren was the only other one of them to be diapered, it turns out that only Quentin wasn’t in some form of protection by now. Though, based on a near miss from the other day, Patrick suspected he would soon be joining their ranks. Cara, Quentin, Ian, and Patrick had even grown closer and had started their own mini therapy sessions alone at night. While before they had shared stories of their pasts and made jokes, they now also included what they called a ‘decompression moment’ where they would talk about the problems of their days and the others listening in would try to devise a solution. As such, while at breakfast with the others, when Patrick felt a tingle in his foot and then actually felt a breeze on his calf, he announced it to the group, per the suggestion that Quentin had made a few nights ago. “Guys! Guys! I just felt something on my calf and in my foot!” Patrick lightly caressed the precious spots where he had just felt something. “Oh, that’s awesome, man!” Ian congratulated him, spoon still in his hand with a helping of cereal and milk. “You’re doing it! You’re doing it!” Terra added, becoming more aware of her surroundings every day. “Congrats, Patrick,” Cara said, patting him on the shoulder. “In no time at all, you and I are going to dance till our feet go black and blue.” “It’s a deal,” Patrick said with a slight blush. While Cara had previously been a reminder of his failure at further progression, she now had become one of his staunchest supporters. Despite Dr. Halgen telling the group to give Patrick space, she charged headfirst into the situation after he had calmed down the night of his breakdown. Thinking back, he was glad that he had ripped off the band-aid with her when he did. * * * Addy slowly wheeled Patrick back into the common area where they held some of the art supplies and games. She knew that he could use the alone time after his breakdown with the group, and was almost certain he would get it here, due to it being naptime for some of the more progressed Littles and that most of Patrick’s group would be back outside by now before dinner was ready. “I’ll come to check on you in a little bit, okay?” Patrick just nodded at Addy as she left and then thumbed around with one of the advanced coloring pages of a tiger that was meant for surprisingly meant for adults back in his own dimension. He wanted to color in the frog he had seen on the front, but someone had already done so with the initials of ‘M.N.’ from about two months ago. Regardless, the tiger would suffice to distract from his previous woes of the day. About halfway through his serenity and the coloring of the tiger though, the doors to the room burst open and Cara furiously wheeled herself into the room. “What the hell, man? I thought we were friends, and you just unload like that?” she spat. Patrick was still fragile from the events of that day and the ones before it with Redge and the diapers, so despite the reassurances from Bruce, Samantha, and Addy that day, tears immediately began to fall from his face. Only having seen the angry and frustrated version of Patrick during group, the scene caught Cara off guard. “Are you…?” Cara walked up closer to the person whom she thought was her friend and noticed him shaking a little bit. “You… you’re crying… why are you crying?” Cara asked, seemingly having almost entirely forgotten about why she was upset in the first place. She had a big heart and hated seeing people cry. She needed to know what was happening to the once steadfast Little in front of her now. Patrick sniffled through his tears and moved the book aside to guarantee that none of his tears would ruin the page he had been working on. “I… I just feel like I’m getting left behind by everyone. I don’t wanna be all alone…” he despaired. Cara just blinked at Patrick for a moment. He had always maintained a mostly positive attitude, but clearly, something more was going on. As Patrick’s tears began to flow more freely though, several revelations crashed upon her at once. Beyond that deeply terrible… Redge, who could have been enough to destroy anyone in a place like this, she also saw his almost bone-like legs from their sheer disuse, and as she looked at him more carefully, his midsection and pelvic area certainly looked bulkier. One of her hands absentmindedly slipped to her own pelvis and felt the slight bulge and crinkle of her own princess-themed pull-up. Somewhat noticeable, but not nearly as much as Patrick’s own bulge was now. It was thicker… it was… another revelation hit her as to what he was now wearing. Without a second’s thought, she flung herself as well as she could out of her wheelchair and into his side. Even through his tears, Patrick could feel the mass of his friend slam into his side. Cara had leaped from her own parked wheelchair and had hurdled herself into him. Her strength was still lacking, but her effort was clearly making up for that fact in her ever-tightening hug. “Cara… I…” “Shhh…” she whispered. “You don’t need to say anymore.” She hugged him tighter and stroked his arm with what little strength she had left. “We… I was too wrapped up in my own progress that I didn’t see what you were going through. Redge… sure, but not the other stuff around here.” She blinked back a few tears of her own. “Please forgive me...” Patrick was shocked but completely relieved over what he had just heard. After his outburst and knowing his luck, he wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if he had just lost all his friends in one blow. For now, though, it still seemed like he had one by his side… literally. “There’s nothing to forgive, Cara. We just got wrapped up in our own lives and issues. Just promise to talk to me more and I can do the same.” He then managed to peel her off him enough to face her and then held out his pinky. “Deal? Pinky promise?” Cara smiled back and interlocked her pinky with his. “Deal.” After a moment, the two managed to separate from each other. Cara was very shaky getting back into her own wheelchair, but she eventually made it and decided to start coloring an elephant herself with Patrick still by her side. “Friends?” “Friends,” Patrick said, a wide grin plastered all over his face. “Definitely friends.” Cara smiled back and the two resumed their normal chitchat as if nothing happened while they colored in their pictures. Outside, Addy just smiled as she had heard the whole thing. She always hated it when Littles fought, so she was just glad they had rebuilt their support system for each other. For what was usually to come next, they would probably need it. * * * It turned out to be a great night and he and Cara had worked out all their problems. The following day, with Cara's support, the rest of the group came around and everyone hugged it out. Now, barely anyone could tell there had ever been a rift between them. The conversations around the table then resumed over the crunches and slurps of the consuming of breakfast. A few giggles could be heard from nearby, and the group couldn’t help but look back and grow morbidly curious if the most progressed group of Littles would soon be them. After all, it was only a month ago that any form of protection from accidents seemed ridiculous. Even Patrick himself couldn’t help but spot the happily bouncing and dancing forms of both Matilda and Eddy and wonder if that would be him one day. “So, any of you going anywhere today?” Ian asked, clearly trying to distract himself. Terra and Quentin both just shook their heads while their mouths were full of food. Both had seen at least two caretakers by now but had rejected them on the grounds of ‘treating them as if they were potatoes or dolls at best, instead of the Littles as they should…’ or at least that’s what Dr. Halgen had summarized it as when it was brought up during group two days ago. “I think the park for me,” Darren noted, once again looking outside and at a bird flying overhead. His caretaker had noticed his fascination with the outdoors and there was seldom a day that Darren wasn’t going to some local park or nature trail. “Again?” Ian just shook his head. “Anyway, going to the Museum of Weird myself.” “What’s that?” Darren asked, the rest of the group leaning in to know as well, obviously being curious themselves. “Oh… just a place of all the unexplained… stuff,” Ian said while waving his hands about as if to conjure some magical creature. “Aliens and disappearances and jars of unknown substances. Things like that all over the place apparently.” “Sounds gross,” Quentin noted with a grimace while also trying to keep his recently swallowed food down. “Oh, most certainly,” Ian commented proudly. “Chris has been finding me all these awesome things. Apparently, we both have a thing for conspiracies. You wouldn’t believe how many there are around here!” “We’ll leave those theories up to you, buddy.” Cara then turned to Patrick. “Anything for you today?” “Uh…” Patrick actually wasn’t sure. Today was a specific day to meet more caretakers in the program rather than therapies here, but the one that was supposed to come had dropped out of the Psyche pool of candidates entirely. Dr. Halgen played it off as a good thing, as they were ‘probably a creep or something,’ but he could still see a glimmer of fear in her eyes. If one dropped out, it could be problematic for future leasing adoptions. “I’m not sure. Maybe Samantha or Lloyd will show up…” “I’m sorry Patrick…” Cara turned away and it seemed as if she felt guilty about asking him about caretakers in general after what had happened with… Redge. Patrick saw her expressed guilt and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. Really.” Cara’s face quickly started to resume its now normal glow. “How about you? Anything fun planned for you?” Cara’s face was normally bright and cheery lately, but the question didn’t seem to elevate her mood any further as it once had done. “I think Daphne wants to take me to an art museum or something like that…” she said glumly. Patrick raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem very happy about that…” “Yeah, Cara! What’s up? She one of the bad ones?” Ian asked bluntly. “Oh no, no, no!” Cara defended. “She just… well, I think she’s more old school with Littles. Not bad or anything, but I think she does what she wants with me half the time. We had a shopping day last week and that was kind of nice, and even today… she knows I like art and all, but…” “She’s just not quite right, huh?” Patrick interjected. Cara quickly nodded. “Maybe you should talk to her?” Quentin suggested, his old professor’s voice coming out once more, something that the group had noticed was happening less and less now. “He’s right,” Patrick agreed. “From what Smantha implied before, it takes a lot for these Bigs to get here, and if Dr. Halgen’s insinuations are anything to go by… we aren’t cheap, but getting selected compensates the Bigs a lot. If you want her to be better, maybe phrase it like that?” Cara seemed deep in thought, but before she could utter another word, the front doorbell rang, and all the Littles quickly scrambled to the door. “Thank you!” Cara said, before rocketing in her wheelchair to the front hall with the others. As expected, Patrick remained alone as the rest quickly joined their caretakers for the day. It turned out that even Quentin and Terra were meeting new people today, and by the looks of it, both seemed very happy after about an hour of them talking together with their respective caretakers. Meanwhile, Patrick had dedicated himself to a bit of drawing and then later reading before and after lunch on the back deck. The sun shone high in the sky, and all felt peaceful, if not lonely. “Mind if I step in?” a deep voice asked, as a shadow passed over the book Patrick was reading. Patrick stared up and squinted for a moment from the sun, but quickly recognized the Big. “Oh, hey Lloyd. I wasn’t expecting you today…” He then quickly looked ashamed. “Oh… sorry, should I have rung? Or… you know… I should have rung… uh, sorry. I can just go and…” Lloyd trailed off and started to walk away. Patrick smiled at the flustered Big before him. Despite his beard and burly features, seeing a Big in this manner was almost odd but also endearing and, in some strange way… comforting. Unlike Redge, his scrambling to apologize semi made him more approachable and as if he was a real guy and not just something that he thought Patrick would eventually select as a caretaker. In essence, he felt as if he wasn’t just a Big, but a person as well. From what he had endured at Redge’s hands, beyond Samantha, it was a nice change. “Uh, wait!” Lloyd stopped in his tracks and turned around. “You can stay, Lloyd. I just wasn’t, uh… expecting you is all. You know… I’ve only seen you or Samantha a handful of times since you all first met me. Today’s caretaker day and all, so… I guess I was kinda keeping my expectations low… Does that make sense?” Lloyd smirked. “Ah. I gotcha. Makes perfect sense, so no worries. I just didn’t want to be that weirdo showing up without an invitation.” “Fair enough…” Patrick set his book down and stared at the tall figure before him. “So… anything on your mind today, or just saying hey?” Lloyd shifted around and walked back over to Patrick. “Well, I did just want to say hey, but I was also making sure you weren’t alone or anything like that.” He then looked a little sad. “You know, when the outbreak hit when I was a teen, I was in a place like this. Wiped out 30% of the male populace within a few years. Almost died myself, but I just remember being lonely while I was recuperating in that place. Wouldn’t wish that type of loneliness on anyone.” Patrick had often wondered why most caretakers had been female for a long time now. Some tabloids back home called it a ‘perversion of their species,’ but he had always suspected something more. Now, it made sense. “I’m so sorry to hear that. It must have been terrible.” “Yeah… lost my dad and older brother within three months of each other… left my big sister in charge during the day when my mom was at work.” Lloyd then shook his head and smiled sheepishly. “Geez… sorry to kill the mood. I’m here to cheer you up and I’m all just bringing the mood down. Sorry about that.” Patrick waved his hand to ease the Big’s worries. “Please. It’s a good thing to know. Makes you more… human, I guess. Hope that’s not an insult or anything.” Lloyd chuckled. “Oh no. Definitely not. You all wear your emotions on your sleeves more than us most of the time. Can be a bit of a handicap, but we’re the exact opposite in most cases. So, it’s always nice to know and get some confirmation that I’m not just some unfeeling robot,” he joked. Patrick smiled at the joke, but a fit of laughter from nearby knocked the smile off his face. He scanned the lawn and saw a few of the Littles playing around outside. Quentin was laughing away with his caretaker under some trees and a few of the other more progressed Littles were just horsing around with their own caretakers. Like the day before, all the happiness only showed to Patrick what he couldn’t do. Lloyd quickly noticed his change. “You okay?” Patrick remained still as if he hadn’t heard him, so Lloyd tracked where he was looking and saw the other Littles running about or just generally having a good time out there. He placed his hand on Patrick’s shoulder comfortingly. “It’s the others, isn’t it? They all seem so happy… running and all…” Patrick nearly jumped when Lloyd put his hand on his shoulder, but he was also now aware enough to hear his question. “Yes… I know I shouldn’t be jealous, and I know that one day I’ll be having fun as well, but for now… it’s just me and the chair. Plus, Dr. Halgen doesn’t want me leaving the grounds just yet.” “Oh… I’m really sorry about that…” Lloyd felt a pang in his stomach for the rotten luck that Patrick seemed to be having lately and wanted to fix it. He stroked his beard and tried to think of something. A minute later he snapped his fingers. “I got it! What if you didn’t have to leave the grounds, but could still feel like you were going someplace else?” Patrick looked puzzled at the suggestion. “What do you mean? That doesn’t make any sense.” Lloyd just grinned back. “I’ve been looking over this place for some time now and there’s a little spot not too far from here, but you might just feel like it’s a little adventure. What do you say?” “And it’s on the grounds?” Patrick asked skeptically. “I don’t want to get in trouble with Dr. Halgen…” “Nonsense!” Lloyd patted him on the back. “I swear it’s nearby and on the grounds. We can even get it approved if you want before we go…” Lloyd hesitated, but then also quickly added, “If you want that is. No pressure.” Patrick thought about the notion for a moment. While he desperately wanted to leave here, he barely knew Lloyd. He had only shown up once since their first meeting and he had no idea where Lloyd was even talking about. The grounds of this place were big, but a place so far removed that it seemed like another place and adventure... it felt downright sketchy. On the other hand, though, Addy had given him a new wristband the other day which increased its range up to a mile from the main house. If he needed, he knew he could always call for help and they would be on him within minutes. With a sigh of nervousness mixed with anticipation, Patrick nodded. “Okay. Let’s do this.” “Oh, excellent!” The next few minutes were spent with the two of them finding Dr. Halgen. With some hesitancy in her voice, she agreed to their outing, and before long, the two were headed down a new path that Patrick hadn’t noticed yet. About ten minutes later, Lloyd asked something that made a shiver run up Patrick’s spine. “Now, close your eyes.” Patrick hesitated for a moment, but complied and closed his eyes with his hands, ensuring that his fingers were less than a second away from hitting his call button… just in case. The next minutes were very rocky and at one point, one of his wheels even got stuck, but determined, Lloyd only pressed onward until they finally stopped. “Okay,” he said. “Open them.” With a good deal of nervousness, Patrick opened his eyes. Before him was a quiet little pond. Small and probably not noticed by most people on the grounds, but it was also majestic and tranquil in a way that just made Patrick sigh with relief. Lloyd had no tricks and seemed to genuinely just want him to be happy and to feel that he had left Psyche while still within its protection. “It’s…,” Patrick turned to Lloyd with a swelling feeling in his chest. “Thank you, Lloyd.” Lloyd smiled back. “Hey, don’t mention it. Psyche is great, but spending too much time there can be a bit much. You want to heal there… not dig yourself further into any type of hole.” Patrick nodded and the two meandered over to a nearby bench on the edge of the water. Patrick almost couldn’t withstand the desire to not just dive in the pond and splash about in glee, but Lloyd knew what he was doing and distracted him with several stories about his life and just humorous anecdotes in general. For over an hour, Patrick could feel his mind just relax and not care about a single thing except being in the moment with Lloyd. While simple, their time together showed him that he now had two potential caretakers in the mix. The third that didn’t show up today, was almost a distant memory now. With the sun starting to set with the days growing shorter, Lloyd stood up and stretched. “Oh man, does that feel good.” He then saw the picturesque golden and orange sunlight glint off the pond before him. “Probably should think about heading back…” “Yeah…” Lloyd began to walk behind him, but Patrick briefly stopped him. “First thing though… I just want to thank you for this. It was really nice today. The whole thing just kinda let me relax in a way that I haven’t experienced too much here lately. So, thank you again.” Lloyd smiled and patted Patrick on the shoulder. “You’re very welcome. We can always do this again if you want and if Dr. Halgen still wants to keep you inside the grounds. Though… if you were willing, there is a lot of fun to be had elsewhere around here… when you’re ready of course,” he quickly added, still not wanting to spook the Little in front of him. As Lloyd began to push him up the hill once more, Patrick just smiled in satisfaction. “That actually sounds really nice. I’ll talk to her to see if there’s an end date to that level of protection.” The two continued their trek back up to the main building. Patrick was very impressed with how little effort Lloyd expended to make the steep climb up. The views at the top were magnificent, but any poor hiker coming up the lawn or driveway certainly paid the price. Once situated on the back deck once more where they had begun, Lloyd wished his goodbyes and a desire to come again, which Patrick eagerly accepted. In moments, it was all over, and Lloyd’s car only appeared as a dot winding down the road and off back to his home for the rapidly approaching night. “That seems to have gone well,” a voice said from behind Patrick. Patrick swung around and saw that it was just Cara. “Yeah. It really was. Turns out there’s a pond nearby. Good views and even on the grounds still. Got to know more about Lloyd and all.” He paused and wondered how her day had gone. “How’d it go with Daphne?” To his surprise, Cara then pleasantly smiled like she used to. “Really well. In fact, she was hoping for more of my input going forward. Apparently, we Littles actually do know what we want,” she macabrely joked. Patrick chuckled. “She now wants to take me apple picking on the next caretaker day. I think it should be lots of fun.” “Oh, apple picking. I used to love doing that!” Patrick briefly tapped his fingers together, nervously wanting to ask a question. “Can you bring me back some if you can?” “Absolutely!” Cara grinned. “Dinner time!” a voice shouted out from inside. “Oh, shoot!” Cara said, smacking her forehead. “I totally forgot why I came out here. It’s time for dinner and Dr. Halgen wants us to wash up beforehand.” “Sounds like a plan.” Th two smiled and Patrick gestured for Cara to go back in first. As the sun set on the horizon over the distant mountains to the west, he couldn’t help but think back to another good day. Almost now at the end of the month, all this almost felt like it could be a turning point to something better in his life, especially after he felt another tingle in his foot and cold breeze gently sway across his knees. Change was in the air. It was all a good feeling, but Patrick also looked inside as well before entering for dinner. There, in the living room, many of the more progressed Littles were all watching a cartoon program. He wasn’t sure what it was called, but all seemed absolutely enthralled with it as they sucked down on their sippy cups or even bottles. It was almost a frightening scene if each also didn’t look positively happy with their lot in life. So, with a heavy sigh, Patrick entered the house once more, contemplating if in a month’s time that would be his group as well.

Hmmm... I think Hunter needs to give each of the diaper designs a try to figure out which one is the most stylish!

You can call your diaper "Doberman". Black and brown just like the dog!

On the Roman calendar, predictably July and August were originally Quintilis and Sextilis-- remember, for centuries the Roman year began in March and ended in December (10 month calendar). Januarius (the month of Janus) and Februarius (from Februus, the Etruscan god of purification) came in as part of the calendar reforms. The Julian calendar, which continues to be used by the Greek Orthodox church to calculate the Easter date, is one of the reforms that Caesar carried out as Dictator in 44 B.C. The switch from Quintilis to Julius was a political statement in exactly the same way that his self-deification was political (Marc Antony was the first high priest of the cult of divus Iulius). In 8 B.C., the emperor Augustus similarly opted to rename Sextilis for himself, and he too was promptly deified at his death. The Caesarian and Augustan reforms at bottom were an attempt to put the toothpaste back in the tube. Beginning with Marius late in the second century and accelerating with Sulla early in the first, the Roman armies gradually ceased to be instruments of state, giving their loyalty only to the commanders. Caesar concluded that the only way to put an end to the civil wars was to make the winner a living god as a point of focus for the loyalty of the army. As Octavius, in the civil wars of 44-31 Augustus' decisive advantage over Antony and Lepidus was that he was the adoptive son of the divus Iulius. More conservative than Caesar, in his relationship with the Senate, Augustus walked a very fine line indeed. Augustus' only child was his daughter Iulia, whom Augustus married serially to his chosen successors. Her marriage to his top general, Marcus Agrippa, yielded three sons (Caius, Lucius, and Agrippa Postumus). Through adoption, Caius and Lucius became sons (filii) of the divus Augustus. Caius was the designated heir apparent until his death in the East, followed by Lucius, who died under mysterious circumstances when being sent west to Spain. The exile of the ostensibly insane Agrippa Postumus opened the door for Tiberius, the eldest son of Livia, Augustus' last wife, to ascend the throne in A.D. 14. The Julio-Claudian dynasty (14-68) was tumultuous because Tiberius and Claudius politically were trying to put the brakes on conversion of the government into an outright monarchy, while in the manner of Caesar the infamous Caligula and Nero wanted to hasten the process, and use Egypt's Ptolemaic system of governance as a new point of reference. With Nero's suicide, an uneasy compromise followed that endured for more than a century. The emperor became "first among equals," but the government expanded remorselessly along Ptolemaic lines. In time, it became larger than the budget could fund, leading logically to progressive devaluation of the currency by reducing the gram weight of the silver coinage, while also increasing the amount of base metal in each coin. This began with Marcus Aurelius (161-180), whose far flung wars on multiple frontiers emptied the treasury. Since the government had no gimmicks like deficit spending to throw at the problem, by the time Diocletian came to power late in the third century. Gresham's Law had effectively demonetized the economy, and the empire was in ruins. The reforms of Diocletian and Constantine were comprehensive, and worked sufficiently well to buy the Empire another century and a half of life. The critical element was the monetary. The attention that scholars pay to religious reforms such as the legalization of Christianity is understandable, but largely misplaced. To put it quite bluntly, for centuries after the Council of Nicaea, Christianity in its various incarnations (there were many) remained an urban cult with virtually no reach into the countryside, where, as Saint Francis of Assisi would discover, Apollo continued to reign supreme. Any American, looking at the deep divide between the urban "blue" and rural "red" counties, is experiencing today the reality of religious life in the ancient world for long centuries after Diocletian and Constantine came and went. The major difference is demographic-- the peasant economy was home to roughly 85% of the population, which is certainly not the case in America today. Hope this answers at least some of the questions lingering from the ongoing discussion of the calendar. The Julian calendar is actually pretty good, overshooting the mark only to the tune of one day every 128 years.

I wear these, DOUBLED UP LEG CLOSURE - AND HERE IS THE LINK: https://www.ebay.com/itm/363389469027?var=632607090677

Part Fifteen The kitchen didn’t take too much work. Unloading the dishwasher is one of the easier household chores, and Noelle made short work of packing up Miley’s summer assignments while I put the dishes away. While the tall brunette had shown that she could be harsh enough to spank me to keep me in line, she contrasted that by helping me tidy. Clearly not the kind of babysitter who twiddled her thumbs while her charge did all the chores alone. I didn’t know how to feel about that. Obviously the job would go by more quickly with the two of us, but it also meant that she still viewed me as a girl who couldn’t handle very much on her own. As always, this was going to be an uphill battle. Miley was such an impossible little monster, and there was a very good chance Noelle simply thought that I was playing nice in the attempts to manipulate her. Lose/lose, like usual. Push back, and be seen as a difficult brat. Act mature, and be mistrusted. After all, girls aren’t reformed with a single snap of the fingers. I was intelligent enough to know that a single spanking shouldn’t be enough to turn Miley’s attitude around. It was becoming pretty clear that it would take days to earn the slightest bit of trust from Noelle. The only way to get out of this mess sooner rather than later was with someone else’s help. Maybe even Paige’s, though that wasn’t a pleasant thought. She might be willing, but it would probably cost me the world. Noelle and I set up a serving station on the counter, complete with plates, napkins, and glasses for anyone who wanted something to drink with their meal. The whole time, I bit my tongue about how dumb the task was. Paige and her friends were the type to eat delivered food right out of the box, and drink out of whatever cans or bottles were in the fridge. While I did enjoy the thought of them actually putting their slices on plates and sharing a meal properly for once, I knew that the price of such a sight would be letting them see me at the same time. While the casual outfit was objectively fine, there were too many other factors that made me look less like my mature eighteen year old self. My slightly flattened chest, obviously, and then the fact that my hair was pretty unkempt from an intense ballet rehearsal followed by a long walk home in the summer heat. It wasn’t a great look overall, and I probably wouldn’t get a chance to shower until either bedtime or whenever Noelle learned the truth about how Miley was three doors down and no doubt enjoying a house to herself with no last resort babysitter to make her weekend a living hell in comparison to how she had usually made it the opposite for sitters in the past. Once we were done in the kitchen, Noelle walked me to the living room where I saw she had transferred my homework to. Miley’s homework to. I don’t know what I had expected. After all, what else was there besides schoolwork and chores? Most girls Miley’s age didn’t need a babysitter, and anyone younger than that could usually be kept busy with games or whatever. Especially since babysitting was normally more for safety than anything else when it came to kids that actually behaved. Of course, that wasn’t the case here. Not that I wanted to play games. I would die of embarrassment if Paige caught me playing some childish board game with my ‘babysitter.’ However, doing homework wasn’t much better, even if Paige had already seen me like that. I had opted to shift to History. If I was going to be working on Miley’s stuff either way, I’d rather spend time on something I was a little more comfortable with. Doing more Science didn’t sound appealing in the slightest, even though Noelle suggested sticking with the same subject in terms of maintaining a similar headspace for the sake of both productivity and better grasping things through continuity before switching gears. She ultimately let me make the choice, although it hardly mattered in the end. One way or another, I was still sitting in the living room with an open textbook and a summer homework handout. Before, when Noelle and I had been sitting across from each other in the kitchen, Paige’s arrival made me and Miley’s babysitter notice her at the same time thanks to where the door was in relation to the table. This time, however, Noelle’s back was to Paige as she quietly descended the stairs. Knowing I was the only one who could see her currently, Paige gave me a wicked smirk and flipped me off with both hands. “Hey, Miley!” she exclaimed, her sweet and energetic voice very much countering the crude gestures. Keeping up the false name, too, of course. “We’re about to order. Hawaiian for you, obvi. Your favorite!” A complete lie. “What about you, Noelle? Any preference? It’s my treat.” I detested ham, for starters, and also wasn’t a huge fan of pineapple on pizza. Nothing against those that do like it, as I’m well aware it’s a polarizing ingredient in that regard, but it’s absolutely not my thing. Before I could express as much, however, Noelle glanced over her shoulder and answered the question my sister had quickly and casually moved onto. “Honestly, anything,” she said, “Veggie or plain cheese, but I’m good with meat, too.” “Cool,” Paige replied, “It’s usually here within thirty minutes when we order. Do you want me to answer the door, or . . . ” “That’s fine. I can get it,” Noelle said. Our homework spot was much closer to the front door than the upstairs bedrooms were, which was clearly what Paige was alluding to when she hinted that maybe we could answer instead. If anything, that probably would have been Noelle’s preference, as then we could complete the informal dinner station set up on the counter in the other room. “Thanks!” In typical fashion, Paige was being cordial and mature with the girl who believed she was here to babysit me, all while continuing to have fun at my expense. “I’m putting it on my card, so don’t worry about paying. Just add 20% or whatever to the tip line, if you don’t mind.” “Got it. Miley and I will be done in a few minutes. Where do you normally eat?” Paige hesitated for half a second. I’m sure Noelle didn’t notice, but I knew my sister better than that. She was quickly mulling over possible ideas. “Depends,” she said, no doubt buying herself another moment to think, “Usually the basement, with games or a movie, but sometimes in this room or in the kitchen.” Real specific. “If you want a break from little Miley, she can join us and we can keep tabs on her for a while.” Now it was Noelle’s turn to mull things over. “Hmm, possibly. Is there an outside door in the basement? And if it’s a movie, I would need to approve it.” “There’s a door to the backyard, but we can double lock it and make sure Miley’s in the opposite corner while we’re down there,” Paige replied, “And we’ll probably do board games instead of a movie. You’re welcome to join, too, of course. If you want.” She was taking a gamble. Although either way, I lost. No matter what, things would result in all of Paige’s friends seeing me like this and subsequently treating me like her little sister. ------------------------ Check out my website: www.ladyluciastories.com And read more of "The Babysitter" (25+ parts) and other stories on my Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=73056590

Part Eleven The real Miley must have done a real number on all her other babysitters. This ‘last resort’ sitter certainly wasn’t taking any chances with me. Noelle insisted that I keep the bathroom door cracked a full foot, and that she would be right on the other side listening. If she heard the slightest suspicious noise, like me opening the window to climb out and steal away, she wouldn’t hesitate to invite herself in and stop me from doing so. Interestingly enough, I hadn’t even considered that as an option. It wasn’t a bad idea, although now I knew that the brunette was capable of thinking ahead in terms of that stuff. Anything I came up with would have to be clever enough to get away from her long enough for me to do what was necessary to prove my real age and/or identity. For now, however, I was just happy to be out of the leotard I had been wearing for way too long following my ballet class. Objectively, the clothes Paige grabbed for me weren’t the worst. The white tank top and blue shorts were familiar enough, considering that she grabbed them from a drawer in my room, although it was pretty clear why she had picked such a combo. While they were comfortable and summer-y, it was also the kind of simple outfit a middle school girl could wear as easily as a high school graduate. My sister had also conveniently seemed to forget to include a bra in the stack. The plain white panties weren’t particularly mature, either, even if they were admittedly probably something I’d wear with this outfit if it wasn’t a particularly eventful day. All in all, the clothes were subtly immature; just enough simplicity to further breathe life into the lie that I was Miley. Nervous that Noelle might burst in if I ended up taking too long, I begrudgingly peeled off the leotard and changed into my casual clothes. While the former outfit had sufficiently informed my babysitter about just how petite I was, I almost felt more self conscious about my smaller chest in the tank top. At least I had something form fitting on before, to show that I at least had some curves despite how unimpressive they were compared to most of my peers. The loose tank top, however, made me look painfully flat. And as much as I wanted one of my push-up bras to help a little in that department like usual, I knew that Paige would just bring down a sports bra or something if the choice was hers. Which it would be, considering that I wasn’t allowed in my own room at the moment. When I stepped back into the hall, Noelle simply gestured back towards the kitchen and mentioned that my schoolwork might be better now that I was more comfortable. Of course, that ‘comfort’ only went as far as my clothes. I still had my sore backside to contend with as I sat on the hard, wooden chair, as well as the personal discomfort of being mistaken for the unruly teen girl who lived a few doors down from us. Though science was easily my worst subject, the assignment as a whole was more tedious than it was complicated. Rather than any critical thinking, all I really had to do was hunt down each answer within the opening chapters of the textbook. The busy work was straightforward enough, and at least Paige wasn’t around at the moment. That peace only lasted for so long, unfortunately. One of her friends arrived, I assumed, unless the front door opening was my sister stepping outside for whatever reason. I braced myself for whoever it was to step into the kitchen and take in the sight the same way Paige had. But Paige had assured Noelle there wouldn’t be any disruptions like that, and she stayed true to her word. The footsteps on the stairs affirmed that her friend was heading right up upon arrival. Letting out a quiet sigh of relief, I got back to work. In the back of my mind, I knew that Paige’s friends would be seeing me at some point if they were going to be around all night, but I was also clinging to the hope that I’d find a way out of this sooner rather than later. When the front door opened a second time, I stupidly assumed that I would be fine just like before. Instead, her friend Violet walked straight to the kitchen instead of up the stairs. “Hey, Miley!” she smiled at me before glancing towards Noelle, “Oh, hey. Are you her tutor or something?” ‘Fuck.’ Obviously Paige had filled her in ahead of time. And I also recognized how well Violet was playing things. Affirming that I was Miley, while also acting somewhat oblivious to who Noelle was. The perfect combination to make it seem like she really was someone who knew me as Paige’s younger sister while also not having all the facts in terms of why there might be a babysitter around when Paige is here as well. “Or something,” Noelle said. Though she seemed oblivious to the trace of amusement flickering in Violet’s eyes, Noelle at least was taking the same professional approach she did with Paige. “Your friend is upstairs.” “Oh, I know,” Violet said, “I was just grabbing some water for the girls. Sorry for the interruption.” She didn’t take it any further than that. Turning her attention right away to the cabinet and then the sink, Paige’s dark haired gamer friend made short work of filling up a few glasses. There were definitely cups and bottles upstairs, as their group would spend hours up in Paige’s room at a time. If anything, they mostly came down for food. But this way, I would be called ‘Miley’ by someone that wasn’t my sister. I was facing away from the sink as I worked, but Violet managed to shoot me a knowing look as she carried the full glasses out into the hallway. Noelle was busy with her own laptop, no doubt using the time to take care of her own stuff while she supervised me, so I was the only one that witnessed the potential tell that this wasn’t at all a normal situation. And if Violet already knew about all this before even arriving, I didn’t want to think about what Paige might be telling her friends in person upstairs. But, as usual, there was nothing I could do about it. Lightly blushing from the recent encounter with Violet, I tried to focus back on the science worksheet in front of me. Maybe if I knocked out the whole thing and did well with my answers, Noelle would bend the rules and give me a chance to go grab a bra since Paige was busy at the moment. And by grab a bra, I meant to use that as an excuse to go to my room in general. For the time being, however, I was stuck at the table. Working on Miley’s summer assignments, and praying that more of Paige’s friends weren’t going to stop by to see for themselves that I literally had a babysitter thanks to how my sister had jumped at the opportunity to fuck me over with this mix-up instead of explaining things to Noelle. I could only imagine what Miley was up to right now. Enjoying a house to herself and the freedoms of summer, all while I was the one suffering the consequences of her actions. ------------------- Check out my website: www.ladyluciastories.com And read more of "The Babysitter" and other stories on my Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=73056590

Disclaimer--All characters are fictional and meant to be over age 18. Be warned: this is a non-consensual story, but he comes around in the end. Among the stories I've written, this one has the happiest ending. Chapter 1 Julie was waiting for him in the hall when he opened the bathroom door, so he immediately felt guilty. He wasn’t sure if she had been waiting to use it, or if she had an urgent patient question. But either way, she didn’t look happy, and he felt a little self-conscious that she had been waiting on him to finish peeing. Standing right outside the door drew attention to his bathroom habits, and he had always been shy about other people knowing he was “doing his business”. When she urgently signaled to follow her toward the hallway that ran the length of the building to their pod of exam rooms, he walked closely behind. It was always good to keep your nurse happy; he had learned that in medical school. It made your day MUCH easier. She walked into their work room, a small space with a diminutive computer work station for each of them and a set of cabinets, as well as an old exam table, which was no longer used for patients. They usually piled supplies on it these days, though today it happened to be bare. She waited for him to come in, then closed the door behind him. She paused. He waited, a bit mystified. After a moment she met his eyes, lips pressed firmly together. “We need to talk,” she said tensely. He blinked. “Ok, what’s up?” Julie Davis had been his nurse for nearly a year now, having been hired shortly after he was. She was efficient, smart, and personable. The patients loved her, and he appreciated her as a competent and friendly assistant with a sharp wit. In addition, she was pretty as hell. He’d never seen her upset or angry, but she seemed a little of both right now. It caught his attention. She squinted a little. “What should I do if there is a doctor in the practice who is being irresponsible, keeping patients waiting every day, slowing down employees, and keeping them from going home to their family at night? What should I do?” He was curious. He had a handful of partners. They were relatively tight-knit. This would be news. “Probably tell him. Or her, I guess. They’d want to know.” “Yeah?” She paused, considering. “I guess that’s right.” He sat down at his workstation, interested in the gossip. “Who is it?” She looked up at him. “Well, actually…it’s you.” He shifted uncomfortably, taken aback at first. “Are—are you serious? Me? Really? Wha–” He was lost. She sat down, but her eyes never left his face. “You spend half an hour or more in the potty every single day, keeping patients waiting, and keeping me from getting home to my kids. It has to stop.” His eyebrows furrowed. He was distracted by the use of the word, “potty”. She used it often, instead of the more common—and adult—“bathroom” or “restroom”. He knew she was a single mom with small children, so he assumed it was a habit. But it was odd, and a little embarrassing that she used it with him. It made him feel like a little kid. Especially in this context. “You’ve been…timing me? Thaaat seems a little weird. Normally, I wouldn’t mind the extra attention, especially from you.” He raised his eyebrows at her with a smile, pretending to flirt. He would never come on to her. He felt strongly about professional boundaries and was careful about sexual harassment. But it was amusing to fake it sometimes, and humor was useful in defusing awkward situations like this. Was she really talking about how long he spent in the bathroom?! “But…well, it’s the bathroom, right? So…” She didn’t hesitate. “Well, I wasn’t timing you at first. But it has gotten a little ridiculous, and I started wondering just how long your patients and I spend waiting for you.” He looked down, embarrassed. Ok, so humor wasn’t working. Yet. She seemed to be waiting for him to answer, however, and he wasn’t sure what to say. “Well, everybody needs to go to the bathroom. I can’t just turn that function off, you know?” “But no one spends so much time peeing. Or pooping.” She smiled a little to herself, and he was sure she said, under her breath, “Or…whatever.” He reddened but said nothing. Was she implying what he thought she was? What could you say to this? In truth, he had spent a lot of time in the bathroom. It was the only place the staff couldn’t bother him. He spent the time playing on his phone, and, though he would certainly never admit it to anyone, had in fact pleasured himself–rarely–in the past. He couldn’t believe she had been paying attention. He didn’t know whether he had a right to be offended, or just to be embarrassed. When he didn’t immediately speak, lost in thought about how he could possibly respond, she pressed on. “Of course, it’s none of my business what my doctor does in his spare time. But this isn’t spare time. This is work time, and you are being rude to your patients and to me.” Her cheeks were flushed. If anything, it made her look prettier than usual. At any other time, he would be attracted to her. He swallowed. He thought he could see where she was going. “Well, I’m sorry, of course. I can hurry in the future.” He nodded to himself. “I wasn’t really thinking about your time. I will hurry.” Julie sighed. “I doubt it.” She stood up, and he subconsciously backed his chair up, surprised. She confidently continued, “I came up with my own plan,” looking down at him sternly. He thought for a moment that this was probably how her children felt. It was intimidating. “I thought I would put a diaper on you, and I’d change you when you needed it during the day. It would be a more efficient system, because I can do that quickly, and you wouldn’t have to stop in the middle of seeing patients to go hide in the potty.” He laughed out loud. This humor definitely helped defuse the tension in the room, and he appreciated it. But he stopped when he saw that she wasn’t smiling. Why not? This was a ridiculous idea. She had to be kidding. “I can’t—wait, you’re not seriously suggesting that, are you?” “Of course I am. You said before that everyone has to go to the potty. That’s not quite true,” she said, sitting down again across from him. “Everybody needs to pee, and everybody needs to poop, but not everyone needs to go to the potty to do it. It would save loads of time and make you a more efficient doctor. Agreeing to let me diaper you would show that you care about your patients. And about your staff, or at least about their time.” He stared at her, trying to decide if she was pulling his leg. Finally, he shook his head. “Yeah, wellll, don’t be silly. That’s never gonna happen. I’m an adult, and I plan to go on using the bathroom like other adults. But I’m sorry about inconveniencing you. I’ll be faster when I have to go.” She pursed her lips and smiled at him. “Adults wear diapers, you know. Cool adults, even. Like astronauts and race car drivers. You could be like an astronaut!” Again, it was hard to tell if she was joking. She seemed earnest about this. “Maybe they do, Julie, but that ain’t gonna happen. Let’s drop it. I could never agree to that.” He couldn’t shake the idea that she was putting him on. But she wasn’t smiling at all. She had an intense kind of look in her eye. “You could,” she insisted. “You would show that your patients’ and staffs’ time is important to you. That would be admirable. You’d have nothing to be embarrassed about.” She nodded at him seriously. “It’ll work. You’ll see. Let’s try it!” But he refused to accept the suggestion. He thought he was being generous enough to take her seriously. But this was bizarre. He’d have to reconsider what he thought of Julie’s common sense. If she thought this was a reasonable plan, what else did she think? What a wacko. “I’m sorry, but that’s just too weird. I promise you I’ll be more mindful of your time. But I can’t do…that.” Julie stared at him for a moment. Then she slowly nodded solemnly. “Well, we can try it your way. But if you can’t go faster, I won’t take no for an answer.” She sat back down but held his eyes with her own. “Let’s be clear about my expectations, since I’m not sure you even know what’s normal. “If you are peeing, I want you in and out of the potty in 60 seconds. At your age, there is no reason it should take longer. If you have to poop, it is okay to spend as long as 5 minutes, but no more.” He blushed as she talked to him so graphically, and again felt like a child. What was she going to do now, tell him how to wipe? This was ridiculous, and he found it impossible to engage in this…negotiation, or whatever it was. Instead, anxious to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible, he shook his head. This was humiliating. “Julie, I’ll be quicker. Can we just leave it at that? Now, do we have patients?” Her hand shot out and grabbed his. “Not so fast. I’m serious. I need an agreement from you before we move on. If you take longer than that, we’re going with my plan. Agreed?” He hesitated. He knew he could never accept that. “Julie, seriously. Please!” he said in exasperation. If there was one thing that embarrassed him, it was talking about his bodily functions. Here they were talking about timing his bowel movements. But Julie shook her head. “Nope. I want a commitment from you. We’ll go with diapers if you need it, okay?” Frustrated, he protested, “I don’t think I can agree to that. It’s crazy!” “Fine. Then agree to the deal, and then don’t be slow. It is entirely under your control.” “Argh,” he groaned, blushing furiously. “Okay, just drop it.” Julie nodded, still looked at him closely. “I will drop it, for now. But be careful. We have a deal, and I will collect on that deal if I need to. I’ll be watching.” And he was convinced that she would be. He noticed her interested glance when he walked the long hallway back to the bathroom during the next few days. He even found her outside the bathroom door occasionally, which kind of freaked him out. But he found that as long as he was attentive and mindful, he wasn’t in danger of incurring her wrath. It turned out she was right about the time frames in the bathroom. It was his growing confidence that turned out to be his downfall. More than 2 weeks later, he was harried and stressed, and ducked into the bathroom, unable to keep from glancing at Twitter while he relieved himself. There was an article on his football team’s plans for the upcoming draft, suggesting that the backup quarterback might be trade bait. He appreciated the momentary escape from his day, and didn’t even realize he was 4.5 minutes over his agreed limit until he opened the bathroom door and literally walked into her tapping her foot in the hallway outside. He glanced down at her, surprised to find someone there. When he saw her determined expression, he was so preoccupied that he was genuinely surprised. It finally dawned on him why she might be there, and what the upset look on her face might mean. His stress level returned to pre-Twitter levels. She was going to need to be mollified somehow. She pointed at his chest, and then toward their work space. She turned on her heels and strode away without looking back. He hung his head, embarrassed to have this talk again. Seriously—why wouldn’t she let this drop? He was trying, right? On his way back to the workspace, he started thinking that perhaps he’d need a new nurse. As nice and efficient as Julie was, her preoccupation with the bathroom–and diapers?!–was a bit alarming. It was midmorning, and there was a lull in his schedule, but still. Was it fair to him to keep him from his inbox to talk about the “potty”? She entered the work room first, then stood aside to let him past her. He dutifully went, trying to think about what to say to deflect her anger, and how to set this weird relationship straight. He was the boss in this relationship. She needed to understand that. When he passed her, he was startled to see her shut and lock the door behind them. She stood in front of the door. He paused awkwardly, not sure how to address her actions. But she didn’t wait for him. “I’ll give you this: you held it together longer than I thought you would,” Julie said, shaking her head. “But, of course, here we are. Were you peeing or pooping?” He reddened. She was so blunt and direct about these things. He couldn’t think fast enough to lie. “Peeing,” he said quietly. He was glad he hadn’t been moving his bowels. He wasn’t even sure he could say the other word in front of someone. “Wow. 5 and a half minutes for peeing. Did you get lost? Maybe you had trouble finding it?” she asked sarcastically. He realized that he should feel offended, but she was talking again. “You really think I couldn’t have changed a diaper and had you back to work in 5 and a half minutes?” He stood silently, shocked that she was again discussing the diaper thing. What else could he say to bring her back to reality? Is suggesting that he wear diapers enough cause for firing someone? He struggled to find the right words to say to her. But she plowed right on. “Well, I guess we’re going to find out now, aren’t we? Pull your pants down while I get a diaper out.” She turned to the cabinet and pulled open a door, where an unopened pack of adult diapers had apparently been waiting. He frowned. He knew the office didn’t stock those. He was freshly embarrassed by the idea that she had gone shopping and purchased them specifically for him, expecting him to need them. Had they been here ever since their previous conversation?! Julie pulled out the package, ripped open the bag, and pulled out a diaper, setting it on the counter while she put the pack away again. She reached up into a nearby cabinet and found a bottle of baby powder and a blue pad, then turned back to him. “Pick up the pace. We’ve got someone scheduled in a few minutes.” He stared at her, unable to believe that she really expected to go through with this. “You can’t be—“ “Of course I’m serious,” she interrupted him sternly. “We had a deal. So get your pants down around your ankles and hop up on the table.” His mouth dropped open. “NOW.” He suddenly found it hard to swallow. She was a nut job. “Look, Julie, I appreciate your concern, and I’m sorry, but—“ She walked back over to the door and stood in front of it as he trailed off, intimidated a bit by her confidence. “But what?” “But I told you before that I wouldn’t go through with this…this plan. I just can’t do that.” “You can and you will,” she snapped. “You specifically promised me you’d do it. I told you that it was entirely under your control. You could have avoided wearing diapers, but you didn’t. Today, it wasn’t even a close call.” She paused, seeming to consider. “One might even wonder if you were asking for this.” She tilted her head and looked curiously at him. “Were you?” “No!” he exclaimed. “Of course not. And I wasn’t seriously agreeing to this. I—I can’t do this. I can’t—“ he lowered his voice. “I can’t pull down my pants in my own office. I can’t wear a diaper. I can’t let you see me naked, or talk about my…time…in the bathroom. You’re my employee. I’m your boss. I just can’t. You need to drop it. Let’s get back to work.” He started for the door, but she resolutely stood in his way. “Pants down, hop up.” She stared at him. He froze, completely undone by her attitude. “Look, we’re not getting back to work until you are wearing that diaper. The door is locked. No one will know you’re wearing a diaper unless you tell them, and I can’t imagine you will. It will be under your pants, and no one will be able to tell. No one cares what you wear for underpants. “I care about you as a doctor and a person, and I firmly believe this is in your best interest, not to mention the interest of your patients and of me. Now get those pants down so we can move forward.” He looked at her helplessly. “I…I…can’t…” She suddenly took a step forward. She had a steely look in her eye. “Young man, you’ve got until I count to 3. One…” She raised her eyebrows at him. He stood frozen, afraid. “Two…” He folded. He had no idea why, but he didn’t want her to get to 3. What did he think would happen, here, in his office? But she’d assumed the “mom look” that did not invite argument. He had made that mistake as a child, and it hadn’t ended well. So it was more instinct than anything else that led to his obeying her. His hands, trembling, went to his belt, and he hurriedly unbuckled it and then unbuttoned his slacks. He started easing them down his legs, and tried to look up at her. He couldn’t quite meet her gaze. But Julie smiled, and said contentedly, “That’s better. I knew you’d be a good boy. Now, walk—or shuffle, I guess—over to the table behind you.” His face burned. He glanced around and saw he was a few feet away from the exam table she indicated. He felt ridiculous as he tried to walk and found, as she said, that he needed to shuffle his feet, moving over to the table. She walked around to the end of the table and patted it gently. “Up you go.” He couldn’t believe this was happening. He tried not to think, doing as she asked now without questioning. He backed up to the table and edged onto it, feeling the cold vinyl against his bare thighs. She had guided him to a point a few feet from the end, and, once seated, she gently indicated that he was to swing his legs up to the end of the table and lie down. He took a deep breath and lay back. She cooed, “Good boy. Now let’s get those undies down…” Feeling her hands tugging on his boxers sent him into a bit of a panic. “Wait!” he said, sitting up again. “Um—uh—why don’t we—I mean, why can’t I just put it on myself? I’m not a baby, you know.” He was breathing heavily from the fear that she would see him naked. He wasn’t a virgin, but the number of women who had seen him naked was a very small number. She stared down at him for just a moment before shaking her head. “No, I’m sorry, that wouldn’t be a good idea. How many diapers have you changed?” He stared at her. “Well, none. But I’m a doctor. How hard can it be? Can you just show me—generally—what to do?” He nodded to himself, and spoke more quickly and confidently. “I mean, then you don’t have to be directly involved, and your time won’t be wasted. That would let you get home earlier to see your family,” he added, thinking that might sound appealing. She seemed to like his eagerness, and smiled at him, almost fondly. This made him think that maybe he could sway her, and could make his fate a little less humiliating. ”That’s sweet of you to think of me that way.” But then she said, “But it is a tricky job getting the diaper to lie flat so that no one will see it or hear it, and so that it won’t leak. Keeping it all secret from your patients is the most important thing, don’t you think? I don’t think we want to leave your secret in the hands of an amateur. What if you left a little space for wetness to leak out and walked around with wet pants for the afternoon?” She waited for that image to form in his mind, and was rewarded with his brow furrowing slightly. “And then there is my suspicion that if you can’t just pee in a reasonable amount of time, how likely is it that you could pee and then change your own diaper in a reasonable amount of time? No, if this is to be helpful to you, and to your patients, and to me, I’ll have to be the one to do it.” She smiled at his sinking expression. “I can tell you are embarrassed. Is it because I’m going to see your pee-pee?” If it was possible, he reddened still further. “But really–it will be okay. Remember, I’m a professional nurse, not to mention a mom of boys, and you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before. If it could be done without seeing you naked, we would do it that way. But it can’t be helped, so let’s just act professionally and get through it. Afterward, I think you’ll be relieved that it wasn’t nearly as big a deal as you thought. Now, let’s get to it.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “We’ll have patients very soon.” Defeated, he let her push him gently back into a lying position. She put her hands on his hands and moved them to his sides, away from his boxers. “Let’s get these big-boy undies down.” Her hands gripped the lower outside corners of his boxers. “Lift your bottom,” she coaxed. He took a breath, looked away, and did as she asked. Once his rear end had cleared the table, shoes firmly on the end of the table, she efficiently pulled down his boxers and slid a blue pad under him. “Okay, back down again.” He could feel the cool soft flat surface under his backside. “Just some basics here. Your cooperation will go a long way toward making this efficient and fast. And I’m sure you want this to be quick. First, your knees should always be as wide apart as you can get them. Ok?” she asked, “Knees apart.” She waited for him to nod. “Second, you’ll always start with your feet down on the table, with your knees apart, of course. That is the ‘down’ position, obviously.” Again he acknowledged her, dimly aware that she had waited for him to be naked to be having this detailed instructional talk. “Third, I’ll need you to lift up your legs so I can remove the old diaper and/or place the new one in place. When you do that, you’ll want to grab your knees (still wide open, right?) and pull them as far as you can toward your shoulders. We’ll call that position, ‘up.’ Okay?” He nodded numbly. He just wanted this to be over. “Finally, we’ll want you in the ‘down’ position again. And your knees?” she prompted him, an expectant smile on her face. “What?” he asked. He was trying to pretend this wasn’t happening. It didn’t help to be asked a question that reminded him he was a person and was helping this process. “Where will your knees be when your legs and bottom come back down onto the new diaper?” she asked patiently. “Oh, uh, open?” he mumbled distractedly. Could this really be happening? “Right! Great job,” she praised him, holding her hand up to be high-fived like he was a little child. “Now, let’s just practice that once or twice to make sure you’ve got it in your head. We want it to be fast in the future.” He sighed silently. “First down.” He kept his feet on the table, knees bent, and opened his legs slightly. He was secretly focused on hoping she wasn’t going to look at or comment on his penis, and was desperately hoping it wasn’t going to become erect. That was the main reason he wanted this over with. “Ah, ah,” she clucked, staring at his groin, her hands moving to his inner thighs. “THAT is not ‘wide open.’” She pushed his knees gently until they were nearly flat against the table, completely exposing his privates. He blushed with humiliation. “That’s better. THAT’S how wide apart your legs need to be. And now, ‘up’.” He was partially in his own whirling world of embarrassment, and was slow to realize she wanted him to move again. “Come on now, up you go,” she prompted again, tapping his bottom to get his attention. He quickly pulled his knees up toward his shoulders, rotating his bottom up toward her. He realized suddenly that now she had an excellent view of his wide open backside, something that no woman other than his own mother had ever seen, as far as he knew. He flushed further as he noticed her eyes drop to his bottom and look appraisingly. She made a little sound he couldn’t interpret, but seemed to want to move past it. She again urged his legs further apart, stretching him as wide as possible, and tapped his bottom up a bit more. Then she smiled and said, “Excellent. That will work nicely.” He heard a rustling sound and felt her touch his lower back. “After you are cleaned up and a new diaper is in place, you’ll hear me say, ‘down,’ again, and that will be your cue to lower your legs into the original position.” He did, relieved, and felt a bulky soft sensation under his upper buttocks as he set down. He knew what that was without having to look, and thought maybe he might be sweating. He started to close his legs instinctively, but felt her hands again on his thighs. “Not yet. Still wide apart. Pretty much always wide apart for me, please, until you sit up.” He felt a cool sensation over his bottom and genitals, and started to glance down before he caught the scent of baby powder. He glanced down in alarm, and saw her shaking a baby powder bottle over him. A quick shake here and there, and she was done. He was too stressed to admit it had always been a smell he enjoyed. He certainly couldn’t admit that here, now. Next he felt her pull the diaper up through his legs and tape it firmly in place on his lower belly. It felt snug and comfortable, but substantial, between his legs. He was very grateful not to be naked, and even happier that he hadn’t developed an erection during the procedure. That seemed like a miracle, given the fact that a pretty young woman was inches away from his naked body. But his stress and worry seemed to have protected him for the time being. “Okay, sit up now,” she directed him. And he did so, pulling his knees together and swinging around to hang them over the table. It was a little awkward to feel the bulk between his legs, and he heard a rustle as he moved. “You did wonderfully! Quite the big boy. Wasn’t that easy and painless?” she asked, smiling. He grunted a little. It had actually hurt, but only his pride. He had to admit that, even with the instructions, she had done that very fast. But what could he possibly say out loud? “Well, I know you can’t admit it, but you did fine. I think this will work very well. Now, you should be careful standing up, because your pants are still down. You can pull them up now, and see how that feels.” He quickly moved to follow her directions, happy to cover up the diaper, which must look ridiculous on him. He pulled up his boxers, which slid slickly over the plastic of the diaper, and then pulled his pants up while she folded up the blue pad and put the baby powder away. He was able to button them fairly easily, and the zipper was a little tight, but he got that up as well. He finished and looked down to make sure it looked acceptable. She turned and looked as well. “Well, that’s not too bad at all, is it? I wouldn’t be able to tell you are wearing a diaper!” she remarked cheerfully. He wasn’t sure. The front of his khakis definitely puffed out, and though he turned his head, he couldn’t really tell about the back. “I don’t know,” he said hesitantly. “Won’t people be able to tell right away?” “Nonsense,” she said, unlocking but not opening the door. “If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t know to look. People aren’t nearly that smart, and people are too polite to stare at your crotch. You’re just overly sensitive.” She turned around again to look him in the eye. “No one will know. It is our secret.” He thought of something else and tensed up. “You put baby powder on me,” he said accusingly. “I’m sure people will smell it.” Julie smiled. “Well, maybe,” she admitted. “But they’ll just think you smell nice. I personally LOVE that smell. And it is way better than smelling like a used diaper, isn’t it?” She was gratified to see his eyebrows twitch with concern. She came nearer and took his hands in hers. “You’ll be just fine. There are really only two things to remember: first, no potty breaks. Second, when you think you need to be changed, come see me.” She saw him swallow self-consciously. “You’ll do fine. Pretend it’s not there. You’ll be used to it in no time.” “Wait—“ he stammered. That made him consider something for the first time. “How long do I have to wear this?” She wrinkled her brow and cocked her head slightly, as if she had misheard him. “What do you mean?” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I didn’t ask before. But this is just for this morning, right? Or today? To prove a point? When can I be done?” He chanced a brief look at her face, but found it hard to meet her eyes. She was 5-6 inches shorter than he, but seemed very intimidating right now. He stared at the floor. She, however, reached out for his chin and brought it up, forcing him gently to look at her. “Sweetie, this isn’t just for the morning or today. But let’s just get through today and tomorrow and then…we can talk about it, okay?” She smiled at him. He nodded thoughtfully, as he thought this sounded like it was up for discussion. He would have to think about what he would say tomorrow to convince her to give it up. Why hadn’t he negotiated how long this would last before he agreed to it? He wandered away, and she watched the diaper through his pants shift back and forth, rustling gently. He wasn’t quite waddling, but the diaper was definitely changing the way he walked. She adored that look in her boys, but was starting to think she might like it even better in her doctor. That could NOT have gone better, from her perspective. She’d planned this for a long, long time, working out options for every possible contingency. She’d expected reluctance, of course. Julie had hoped she wouldn’t need to threaten him, and was very happy she didn’t need to. A lot of what she had planned depended on trust. This doctor was naïve, well-intentioned, attractive, and single. From the moment she had started working for him, she had fantasized about being with him. He hadn’t asked her out yet, so she’d needed to jump-start their relationship. Nothing like having a man naked on a table in front of you to force some intimacy! She had guessed correctly that he could be motivated by his desire to be a better doctor and employer. She knew he was shy, and that was why she took the leap today. She had a little experience bossing around men, and had generally found she liked it. It was part of why she liked being a nurse. Patients responded well to her. But this was a little different. Yes, she truly had a good excuse to diaper him. But this could also turn into a serious, long-term project, and she had high hopes for where it could eventually lead. For now, she had to nurture him through the next few hours carefully and gently. Then she could worry about the next few days and weeks. One step at a time. Chapter 2 He was extremely self-conscious of every step. In his mind, the diaper was clearly visible and audible to everyone, though oddly no one seemed to be commenting about it. His cheeks burned as he made his way through the hallways from exam room to exam room. He could feel it, warm and bulky between his legs, hear it rustling quietly with every step, see it bulging gently under his khakis, and when he sat down, he could smell the faint scent of baby powder. But even in the quiet exam rooms, patients didn’t seem to want to say anything about it. Were they too embarrassed for him to mention it? Was it really possible that they weren’t noticing? As the morning wore on, it became clear that a fair number of them, anyway, couldn’t tell. If he just pretended nothing was wrong, they seemed to carry on that way, too, and with every visit that passed, he did relax a little bit. He tried to keep up conversation during quiet times when he had to move around, just in case he needed to mask the sound. The growing pressure in his bladder was tolerable. He had already had his bathroom break, after all, so it wasn’t difficult to ignore the issue until lunchtime. This was when he usually got a second break to hit the restroom. When he finished seeing patients for the morning, he felt like it was a little silly not to go. After all, there weren’t patients waiting. Would Julie really mind? On his way over to the lunch room he turned down the hall to the bathroom. As luck would have it, he met Julie coming out of the bathroom, the smell of soap fresh on her hands. She stopped and looked him up and down as he stood, surprised and unprepared to meet her. There was nothing else along this part of the hall that he could say he was going to do. “So…what’s up?” she asked, smiling pleasantly, as if they were pals meeting on the street. “I, just, well, needed to…” he faded out, not willing to discuss it with her. Suddenly he realized she might be serious about not wanting him to go to the bathroom. “Were you heading to the potty?” He nodded, at first not saying anything. “Well, I finished seeing patients, so, um, I—well, I—thought it might be okay to, um…” he stammered, looking at his feet. “Hmmm,” she said, nodding. “Well, I don’t remember telling you that you could go to the potty. In fact, I distinctly remember telling you that you were NOT to use the potty at all today.” She touched his elbow gently, making him look up briefly at her. “Remember?” “Yes, but—“ “Yes, ma’am, please,” she corrected quietly, as if it were a common error she had corrected before. He stopped and looked at her briefly, and decided he didn’t want to make a big deal about that right now. “Yes, ma’am, but there aren’t any patients waiting. I thought that was the point.” She glanced around to make sure they were alone. Everyone else had gone off to lunch. “Well, it was part of the point. We’re also trying to make sure that I and your other employees get home as soon as they can. And if you are fiddling around in the potty, you aren’t working or eating, and that will lengthen our day. “I don’t want you in the potty at all today. If you have to pee, I want you to pee in your diaper. Is it too wet to pee in?” He looked confused for a moment. She saw he didn’t understand. She clarified, “Did you already wet your diaper? If you pee again, will your diaper leak?” “Of course not!“ he said, startled that she thought he might have peed in this thing. “Then feel free to tinkle away. You don’t need the potty right now.” He looked unhappy. She knew she had to sound reasonable. “Look, you’re free to use the potty after the patients are gone and your staff is home, or if there aren’t patients waiting and your task list is caught up. But you know as well as I do that you pretty much always have a task list. If today isn’t that rare day—and it isn’t because I just saw your task list—I don’t want you wasting time in the potty. You’ve got something else you can use now. “So…off you go to lunch. Don’t dilly-dally. See you afterward!” She turned him gently and patted him on his padded bottom. To his credit, she thought, he didn’t talk back or seem angry. Just quiet, like he needed time to readjust. He was thinking that he wasn’t truly desperate yet. His bladder wasn’t comfortable, but he could wait to pee. He certainly wasn’t going to do it in his diaper. That would be ridiculous, just what she wanted, and presumably would put him right back up on that changing table for more embarrassment. It was one thing to be forced to wear the diaper, but another thing to use it willingly. He was thinking about how little he could get away with drinking at lunch. He was just wondering if he could last until his patients were done that afternoon! He was sitting down to lunch with the other doctors and a drug rep—without a drink—when Julie walked past with her food and set a tall glass of water down in front of him. She winked at him and said to the others, “Wouldn’t want my doctor to get dehydrated! It’s a long day.” He was really starting to resent her, but–he didn’t need her to be upset with him. That could make their working relationship very difficult, and could cause his task list to grow dramatically. Keeping his nurse happy had truly become instinctual. So he said out loud, “Well, thanks!” She said, “You’re welcome,” and kept walking, but paused at the door and looked at him pointedly, raising her eyebrows. He raised the glass to his lips and took a token sip, setting it down again quickly. She didn’t budge. She kept staring at him, until others turned to see what was going on. Uncomfortable, he sheepishly took a longer draught of the water, until she nodded and left, smiling. Now he had a foreboding feeling. She was going to force him to pee. Not explicitly, but it was not going to be easy to hold off if he had to drink to make her happy. He’d have to talk to her about that. He finished his lunch and went to his desk, working for another 15 minutes on his task list. He worked hard, returning calls and forwarding messages to patients, hoping that the faster he got done, the sooner he could go home and escape this crazy day. And if he hurried, maybe he wouldn’t have to pee before finishing. But the longer he worked, the more the pressure in his bladder grew. Crap. He got up momentarily about 5 minutes before the first afternoon patient was scheduled to put some therapy forms in the “out” bin. While he was up, Julie walked into the work room. She walked right up to him and shocked him by cupping his crotch with her hand. “How’s it going?” she asked pleasantly. He yelped and jumped back reflexively. “Whoops! Sorry, force of habit,” she said, smiling a little. “Just checking to see if you needed to be changed.” “Well you could have just asked me!” he exclaimed, his cheeks burning at the reminder that he had been reduced to the level of one of her little boys. “Okay,” she replied. “Although I guess I already know the answer. ‘Do you need to be changed?’ I’ll point out that I do have about 2-3 minutes before the first patient comes to change your diaper if you do.” “Oh! No,” he replied quickly. “No need.” He tried to sound offhanded, but it came out seeming tense. Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Really? That seems kind of strange. You always use the potty before the afternoon. You must really need to go. Are you holding back just so you won’t have to be changed? Are you scared of me?” She smiled to make it seem like a silly idea. “I doubt you can make it through the whole afternoon. You’ll be so uncomfortable.” He shifted positions a little, quite aware of the discomfort already. She was right, of course. But he hated to think about it. He couldn’t even really talk about it with her. So he didn’t say anything. “We won’t have time during the afternoon, I don’t think. Now is your only chance for a change. If you don’t pee now, once you do wet your diaper, you might have to be wet for the rest of the day.” He definitely didn’t want that. But he couldn’t stand the idea of “using” his diaper like a baby. And now she would know that he had done it, and even when he had done it. Having her so intimately aware of his private habits was almost as bad as using a diaper for them. This was excruciating. “Can we please just stop talking about it?” he pleaded, his exasperation with her bluntness showing. She grinned, clearly unconcerned with his shyness. “You are embarrassed about normal body processes, aren’t you? That is probably because you aren’t a parent yet, and not a nurse. We’re all about body fluids.” She became more serious. “I’m not really that interested in whether you are embarrassed, you might have noticed. I am entirely focused on keeping us efficient and on schedule. And I know that, if you look at the big picture, of course you do, too. “So swallow your pride. Do what’s best for the patients and staff. Now, do you need a change?” He swallowed and looked down. He said quietly, “I have to go, but I haven’t yet.” She folded her arms. “Well, we haven’t got much time. If you’re going to pee, go ahead.” He glanced up, alarmed. “I don’t think I can do it with you here.” He looked around. “Can you…give me some privacy?” Julie shook her head grimly. “I don’t think so, champ. We don’t have time. If you want a dry diaper for the afternoon, you have to go right now.” He shook his head. This was too much. He couldn’t pee right now, in front of her. “Oh, come on,” she said. “I can’t even see you peeing. That is ridiculous.” He stood in front of her, staring at a spot on the floor. The silence stretched on. “Are you peeing? Are you done?” she prompted, eyeing the clock. He shook his head, miserably. His bladder hurt by now, but she was staring at him. He pretended he was somewhere else, that she wasn’t there. It felt so strange to try to pee while wearing clothes. Every instinct told him to hold it in, but he knew he had to overcome it. He shut his eyes completely, and tried to pretend he was in front of a toilet with his fly open. He pretended he was alone in the bathroom. Eventually he felt a little wetness come out, and fought the considerable urge to stop it. More came and more came. He felt warmth spread between his legs, and felt the diaper get noticeably heavier. He kept going, eventually feeling spent and comfortable. Except for the heavy wet diaper between his legs. That, at last, was enough to make him willing to have it changed. Time to act. He opened his eyes. “Okay, I—“ He was alone in the workroom. He was relieved and touched that Julie gave him some space. It seemed a little unlike her, but he wasn’t going to be picky. But where was she? He waddled–and was aware that he waddled now that his diaper was wet–over to the door of the workroom and peeked outside, not willing to show himself in public. He had to wait a moment, but then he spotted her—bringing a patient to the nearby exam room! He pulled himself back into the room. He hated to have to wait for her, but he knew she would be angry if he tried to take care of himself on his own. He’d just need to wait for her. He played on his phone for a few minutes. Eventually she hurried in, but instead of catering to him, she went straight to her computer and started the notes for the patient’s appointment. She barely seemed to acknowledge him. He waited for a moment for her to attend to him, but it seemed like he had completely forgotten about him. He was confused, but also quite uncomfortable. “Um, Julie, I hate to bother you, but would you have time now to, um, well…” he trailed off, unwilling to say the actual words if he didn’t have to. She turned in her chair to face him standing across the room, his legs held slightly apart for comfort sake. “Time to do what?” He reddened. “You know, to, um, change the, um…” “Your what?” she asked, staring pleasantly up at him. He stared dumbly at her. Finally he realized she wanted him to say it. “The, um…diaper.” “Change your diaper? No, sorry. We ran out of time. You took too long. We’ll have to take care of it later if we have a break.” She turned her back to him again. He couldn’t quite believe she had said that. She couldn’t be serious. He started to panic a little. “I really need some help here. Did I do something to upset you?” She turned back and frowned slightly, wrinkling her brow. “Why, of course not. But this is not an emergency. It is not even really an “urgency”. You are not in wet pants. You are wearing a diaper, which by definition is optionally changeable. We’ll change it when we have a minute and patients are not waiting. You prefer being dry? Of course you do. Well, keep up with patients and we’ll get to you, okay?” She smiled at him encouragingly. He didn’t like being patronized. “But—but—what if it…leaks? It is REALLY wet!” His eyes pleaded with her. She dragged him backward and closed the door briefly. “Oh, for Pete’s sake. Let’s see.” She cupped her hand in front of her and reached toward him. Before he knew what was happening, she had her hand against his crotch. It was strange not being able to feel it. But he felt the weight of the wet diaper lift and fall once, twice, three times. She pulled her hand away, then reached for his face. She spoke more quietly, sounding reassuring. “Your diaper is wet, but you won’t leak. It could even take some more, if you’ve got it.” She turned around and opened the door. “Stop worrying. You’ll be fine. Remember, keep up!” He was not happy. He felt humiliated and betrayed by her, not to mention uncomfortable. She had told him to pee, and then he did, and she refused to change him! He almost felt like crying. He couldn’t believe she expected him to work like this. This was far worse than spending some extra time in the bathroom, and he would never be able to get used to this feeling, of that he was sure. It sagged to a ridiculous depth between his legs, rubbing against his mid-thighs. It was warm near his body, but cooler down there, which was very distracting, and any air that snuck inside the diaper made him aware of the wetness. He shuffled into his first appointment of the afternoon shyly, sure his patient was as aware of his soggy diaper as he was. He sat down on his stool, and felt the wetness anew, cool against him. He smelled a wave of powdery urine waft up, and was ready to be embarrassed as the patient asked what was going on. He worried about wetness leaking onto his pants as he stood again. But the visit passed without any apparent observations by the patient that anything was wrong. It was–except for his preoccupation–a normal visit. He was a little less concerned after that, and started to learn to ignore the strangeness of the situation, focusing instead on his work. His diaper never really got warm, as it pressed against him only when he sat, and sagged down and cooled when standing. But he became less paranoid and stressed. After an hour, Julie caught him coming out of a room, and whispered, “Ok, quick—we have a minute now.” He almost didn’t realize what she was saying, but then he nodded and followed at as close to a trot as he could manage with a soggy diaper between his legs. He entered the work room, and Julie closed the door behind him. She was all business. “Ok, pants down, hop up,” she said briskly, patting the exam table, where a blue pad was already laid out. This time, he didn’t hesitate. He hurried to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his slacks, dropping them to the floor. He yanked down his boxers to reveal a drooping diaper. He saw that the yellow line down the front was now blue. He turned and eased himself up onto the table. “Okay, swing around and lie down,” she instructed. She held a dry diaper in her hand, placing it next to a box of baby wipes and the bottle of baby powder she had laid out on the nearby shelf. He did so quickly. He didn’t want to slow her down and miss his chance for a dry diaper. Once he was lying down, he felt her hands at the tapes on the front of the diaper and felt a rush of cool air on his privates. He suddenly felt a cold wet pressure and looked down to see her vigorously wiping him down. She pressed the wipe across his pubic hair, then used the wipe to grab his penis, quickly stroking it down to the tip and releasing it efficiently. He felt her touch his testicles, stretching the skin as she wiped these as well. She turned the wipe over and fed it along his inner thighs and the creases there, then said, “Up.” He only had to think for a second before realizing what she wanted him to do. He reached down to grab his knees and help pull his legs and hips up, spreading his knees as widely as he could. Again he felt silly exposing himself to her like this, but she wasn’t snickering or laughing. Instead, he felt the wet diaper being pulled from under him. He felt another wipe move quickly across his buttocks, and then into his crack, moving up toward his anus. She brushed over it firmly, and he thought she paused slightly here, giving it a little extra pressure before moving up to the back of his scrotum. Suddenly a nice soft dry cushion pushed against his bottom, and a cool sensation as she sprinkled some new powder on it. She directed him, “Down.” He lowered himself obediently, and felt the new diaper under him. She sprinkled a little more powder in the front, then grasped the diaper and pulled it up through his legs, having to reach around his pants, which tethered his legs together. She stretched it tightly over his penis, taping it down. “All done! Go ahead and swing around and get up. You can pull your pants up. We’ll have another patient ready for you in just a moment.” She popped open the door and strode out, brushing a little baby powder off her hands as she went. He glanced down and realized the whole thing had barely taken a single minute. And he felt…good. Dry, cozy, comfortable. He smiled for the first time that day, grateful to Julie for her kindness. “Thanks!” he called after her and was rewarded with a little smile as she turned toward the waiting room to call a patient back. The rest of the afternoon passed pleasantly. He kept up easily, and was rewarded with a very happy nurse. She smiled at him frequently, and seemed to anticipate his every nursing need. They were quite efficient, and finished seeing patients on time for the first time he could remember. All that remained was the rest of the shared task list, which he liked to clean up as much as possible by the end of the day. He worked at his computer, finishing up tasks and calling patients with results. Near the end, Julie came and stood next to him. He turned and looked up at her. She raised her eyebrows. “Anything else for me?” “No, I think we’re good. You can get out of here if you want.” “Great! Then let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” She locked the door and walked to the cabinet with the blue pads. He had actually forgotten for a moment that he was still wearing a diaper. He looked down self-consciously. “Well, I’m sure I can take care of it myself at this point.” He saw her purse her lips slightly. “I mean, it’s just taking off the diaper, right? Not much chance I can screw that up.” “Oh, I think it is part of my responsibility to return you to your off-work state. I’ll feel better knowing you are yourself again, you know? Pants down, hop up!” She smiled expectantly. He felt himself redden again. This seemed unnecessary, but she had been nice before, and he liked the camaraderie they had developed. He didn’t want to disappoint her, and at the end of the day his fatigue made it easier not to argue. He slowly rose and walked over to her. He lowered his pants and boxers and laid back on the table. She tapped the insides of his knees and he let them fall apart self-consciously. She untaped him and pulled back the diaper. “You’re dry,” she commented, sounding a little surprised. “Well, I didn’t have to go,” he lied, feeling the pressure in his bladder. The truth was that he still didn’t want to appear as though he liked the idea, no matter the “convenience,” and thought he could hold out. “Hmm,” she said doubtfully. “I saw how much you drank at lunch, so I’m not sure I believe you. And we’re not going to save the diaper for reuse anyway, so there’s no point in your bladder being uncomfortable.” She was wiping his penis and testicles, a little more slowly than earlier, but he was grateful to observe that she didn’t seem to be lingering. She was all business, thank goodness. And so far, he’d been able to avoid an erection. He wasn’t sure he could handle that embarrassment. “Up,” she directed, and he obeyed. He felt the cool wetness spread across his buttocks, then invade the cleft between them. As before, he felt it hesitate and poke a little at his anus. He flinched slightly, but then realized she had moved on. But then he felt a sharp pulling from somewhere back behind his testicles. “You know, this has to go,” she mused, staring between his legs. “What?” he asked, somewhat alarmed and confused. “All of this messy hair. It is making it harder to clean. I’d like you to shave it tonight. Everything from here,” and here she indicated his testicles, “on back, should be completely nice and smooth.” He felt the diaper pulled out, and was instructed, “Down.” There was no dry diaper underneath this time when he set his feet back down, knees spread wide, and no powdery smell. She gestured at his pubic hair. “I won’t insist on shaving all of that,” she said, wrapping up the wipes inside the used diaper, “although my personal preference is to keep it much shorter and more neatly trimmed, if you keep it at all. But the front hair is less important for keeping you clean. The hair behind your penis, though, shouldn’t be there tomorrow.” She helped him sit up and looked him directly in the eye, as he had not yet acknowledged her remarks. “Okay? Can I get a ‘Yes, ma’am’ please?” He felt confused. This was her only criticism of his genital area. He hadn’t ever thought about it. It hurt to hear any criticism, of course, and he felt himself wanting to please her. She was so nice when she was happy. But it was weird and embarrassing to talk about. He wasn’t sure she should care, but he obviously wasn’t experienced at changing diapers. “Um, yes, ma’am,” he said distractedly. “Have you ever shaved down there? Do you have a real razor?” “No,” he said. “I have an electric razor.” She threw away the diaper and blue pad. “Well, go out and buy a nice manual razor. They’re not expensive, and I’ll want you to keep yourself nice and smooth down there. It’s your choice, but I think you’ll find the ones marketed to women to be better for this area. “You could use soap, or shaving cream, but you’ll probably want to do your shaving in the shower or the bathtub. You’ll need to stretch the skin, and until you have practiced, go slowly.” She was packing up her laptop and locking it in the cabinet. “Did you hear what I said before? Shall I repeat it? I’d like you to shave the back of your penis, your entire scrotum, and all the hair around your bottom. If you want to keep the hair in front, I guess that’s okay, but cut it nice and short, okay?” He was staring at the diaper cabinet, unable to believe he was having this conversation and not really wanting to engage. She stood watching him, apparently aware of his discomfort, smiling slightly. She turned up the heat. “What do you think? Crop the front short? Or just shave it completely off and be smooth all over?” He was shaken out of his stupor by the realization that she actually expected an answer. “Can…we just not talk about this now? It’s…I’m…I just want to finish my work. May I get dressed?” She smiled. “Of course. I didn’t mean to slow you down. But take care of that hair problem somehow tonight, okay? Say, ‘Yes, ma’am.’” “Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled, standing up and pulling up his boxers and khakis. She picked up her purse and came over and touched him on his arm. “You were a good boy today. Thanks for helping me to get our work done on time so I can see my family. Your cooperation means a lot to me. I hope it wasn’t too embarrassing for you.” It was, but he liked her smile. He didn’t want to argue with her. It was nice to think of today’s weirdness as something he was doing as a favor to her. “No, no, of course. Happy to help out.” “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, maybe a moment earlier than usual to get you ready, okay?” she asked. “And remember, nice and smooth. Good night!” “Good night,” he said, happy to be done with the conversation. She was exasperatingly direct about things! The embarrassment had taken a toll on him today. He started packing up his things. She walked away, jingling her car keys, very satisfied with her progress today. She had wanted to go further, faster, of course. She had so many ideas and plans, but she had to pace herself, allow him to fall deeper, deeply enough that he wouldn’t be able to get out. But she didn’t want him to be an unwilling victim. Instead, for now, she enjoyed the game of getting him to agree to do more and more embarrassing things, all because she said to do it. It was a little fun seeing his ambivalence and confusion about wanting to please her and yet feeling such obvious and intense humiliation. Being in charge always satisfied her, and she was not surprised to feel just how much sexual pleasure she felt today bossing her doctor around. It would make what she was planning a lot more fun. She had a long list of activities in her imagination, and after today, she was optimistic that she might get to try many of them. Yes, it had been a great day, and she couldn’t wait for tomorrow. She smiled. Chapter 3 He climbed into the hot shower with some apprehension. While he welcomed the relaxing warmth, he did not feel up to the task at hand. He let the water wash over him, thinking about the day he had just put behind him. He had let Julie have her way, rather than confront her at any point along the way. He knew that was stupid. Was he crazy to play along with her? She seemed so capable and smart, and funny, and nice, but the things she was asking him to do were just insane. He had sacrificed a lot to be a doctor, but she was asking him to give up his dignity, and he was finding it very hard to do. While her rationale seemed noble–he would do almost anything for his patients–at no time during his training had anyone ever suggested he avoid the bathroom in favor of a diaper. He hadn’t really ever heard of that before, but she seemed to make it sound relatively normal. Maybe he really had simply been sheltered. Astronauts? Race car drivers? Maybe he should google it to see. He had stopped at a pharmacy on the way home and found a women’s razor and some shaving cream. Thank goodness, no one looked at him strangely. Maybe they assumed he had a wife? He actually didn’t have a problem with shaving himself down there. He knew from his exams of young people that it was common these days, and even expected. But he had never felt comfortable about how exactly to do it. How much hair should he leave? He’d worried that shaving make him seem like he was trying too hard. He hadn’t known up until now. He was happy to have a little guidance from someone, anyone, though it would have been more natural coming from a lover. Instead, it was coming from his employee. And he was fairly sure that very few men shaved themselves for “ease in cleaning” the way he was instructed to. But if she was going to be looking at him there, he didn’t want her to be judging him every time she pulled down his diaper. And if it could make her smile—he loved her smile. He imagined her smiling at him tomorrow when she saw that he had obeyed her, and it made him feel warm inside. As he washed himself, he wondered just how many times she would be actually be seeing him down there. While she hadn’t been specific, she did agree to discuss it tomorrow. What could he say to get her to drop this whole diaper thing? Certainly she had to agree that he had played along, and that they made a good team. His willingness to share her goals could not be doubted, right? They tried it her way, it would be only fair to give him the benefit of the doubt. But nothing that had happened over the last 24 hours had seemed logical or predictable to him. He pointed the water away from his body and sprayed out a tiny bit of shaving lotion. He had trimmed his pubic hair before his shower, so he just needed to shave the hard to reach places. He had never tried this before, and just wanted to be very careful. He remembered what Julie had said, and stretched out his scrotum to make it easier. How did she know about that? He wondered. He supposed that some couples were intimate in different ways, but he had never shaved (or been shaved by) a partner. Well, he hadn’t really had more than a brief partner or two. Medical school and residency weren’t really conducive to a busy social life. He was book smart, but didn’t know much about relationships. Julie had a child, so her past sexual history might be much different. And maybe much more interesting. He slowly worked his way back, spreading his legs awkwardly and craning his neck to see. This might be easier in a bathtub, but he didn’t have one. Still, he was careful, as Julie advised, and managed to finish without cutting himself. He rinsed off and turned off the water. He dried himself and checked himself out in his bathroom mirror. Interesting. He didn’t mind the new look. He ran his fingers over the newly-hairless parts of his body. That felt so foreign, but nice. He could get ready for bed in a few minutes, but he decided to explore the new feel in a little more depth first. It was kind of erotic, wasn’t it, to have shaved himself because a woman asked him to? It felt so nice. He couldn’t help thinking about Julie as he made himself feel very, very good. Chapter 4 The next morning, he made it to work early. This was part of the plan he had come up with overnight to make his day easier. If he was on top of his task list, he might be more likely to persuade Julie to use the bathroom. He had made a point to pick out underwear that didn’t have holes in them: it was weird to have to consider Julie seeing his underpants, but he wanted to make as good an impression as possible. He didn’t have anything to drink for breakfast, and he wasn’t planning to drink anything all morning. The less he needed to pee, the less he needed to be changed. However, he was considering the likelihood that he would need to pee early during lunch so that he could start the afternoon with an empty bladder and a dry diaper. Most of all, he was going to make sure he spent some time discussing alternative arrangements with Julie for the future. Being shy was no excuse not to be assertive about his preferences. He was polishing off the few accumulated tasks from the overnight when Julie walked in. “Good morning!” she chirped happily. “Ready for the day?” “Yep, I guess so,” he replied, trying to sound as cheerful as she was. But his stress at having to play her game was probably showing through his façade. “I’m assuming you mean, ‘yes, ma’am,’” she noted quietly, putting down her purse, her smile fading a little. “Isn’t that right?” He swallowed. If he wanted something from her, it was a bad idea to get off on the wrong foot from the beginning. Why this little bit of protocol was important to her nagged at him a little bit, but he couldn’t dwell on it without potentially annoying her further. “Yes, ma’am. Sorry about that.” She looked back at him, the smile retaking her face. “I thought so. No harm done.” She looked at the clock. “I think we just have time to get you changed before seeing patients. Okay?” He was polite this time. “Yes, ma’am.” She smiled at him as she shut and locked the door. “Ooh, I love it when I can hear your manners! Okay, pants down. Hop up.” As he stood and began fumbling with his pants, she strode over to the cabinet and retrieved a diaper and blue pad. “You had some homework last night. How’d you do?” He waited, pants around his ankles, for her to put the blue pad down. “Okay, I guess.” He sat on the pad and when she raised her eyebrows expectantly, swung around and lay down. He had been satisfied with the job he’d done and thought she would be pleased, but, when it came right down to it now, found himself just as hesitant to expose himself to her as he had been yesterday. She tapped the inside of his knees. “Come on, now. You know better than that,” she chided, apparently not thinking his legs were spread widely enough. He leaned them out, but they wouldn’t go further. “But—I—“ he stammered, unable to move them. She appraised the situation, then nodded. “Ah,” she said, grasping his pants and yanking them down further to his ankles. “You didn’t have your pants down far enough.” With his pants bunched up down at his shoes, he was able to let his legs fall apart completely, giving her the access she wanted to his diaper area. She moved up so that she stood next to him to get a closer look. “Oh,” she said with an impressed look. “You did well. Doesn’t that look nice?” Her hand reached out to his closely trimmed pubic hair, touching it and even caressing it gently. She traced the outline of it. He was initially shocked at the contact. She hadn’t actually touched him before this, except with a baby wipe in her hand. Lying back, he could see her standing above him, arm outstretched, but couldn’t see her hand, which just seemed to be dancing across his pubic area. Suddenly he felt her fingers on his penis, gently stroking that! They moved slowly from the base down to—but not onto—the tip. He gasped, and saw her smile appreciatively. He felt her lift his penis up and run her finger down the underside from the sensitive area down to the base again. He knew it would happen even before he felt it. His penis started to stiffen. She seemed not to notice at first, holding it up with one hand and now moving her other hand to caress his smooth testicles. Wow, he thought. That feels incredible. The lack of any other contact on his body and the gentle minimalist touch on his genitalia made this feel even more exquisite. Her fingers continued their exploration down and back behind his scrotum, and he stopped being aware of anything around him. He missed it when she said, “Up, please,” to him. He did notice when she took her hands away and gave him a light smack on the buttocks. “Excuse me, did we forget since yesterday? Do you remember what ‘up’ means?” His eyes snapped open at the gentle smack to his bottom. He quickly lifted his hips and grabbed his knees, pulling them towards his head and as far apart as possible. He was rewarded with a “That’s it, ooh, smooth.” She cooed as her hand found him again, touching his scrotum, and making its way toward his anus. He stopped breathing as she traced a little circle around it slowly, then continued up his cleft toward his back. Suddenly he felt both hands across his buttocks, again caressing and circling the area. “Now, that is MUCH better than yesterday. There are a few little hairs you might have missed, but you did great for a first try.” He noticed her speaking to him in a tone that would have been more appropriate for a child than an adult, but didn’t mind. He just wanted her touching him again. But then he felt the familiar soft thick presence of the diaper under him. “Down,” she said. Oh, crap. He thought. He was hard as a rock, and his folded legs were concealing it. He hesitated obeying her, wondering how he could avoid showing himself to her in this state. Maybe he could delay for a moment? If he put his legs down now, there would be no way she could miss— “Ow!” he yelled, as he felt a sharp smack–much harder this time–on his bottom. He involuntarily released his knees in defense, and his legs straightened to protect himself. “When I ask you to do something, I expect you to listen. That is the second time you…” She trailed off when she saw his stiff penis bobbing up and down. He tried to cover himself with his hands, pulling his knees together as well. To his horror, he saw her break into a wide smile. “Now that makes my day. I was starting to think you didn’t like me. It’s quite a compliment, you know?” He remained huddled, covering himself as best he could. She walked over to the refrigerator that held the vaccines, momentarily turning her back to him. “I know it has a mind of its own. I’m familiar with the bodies of boys. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” She pulled something out and turned back to him. “However, it does present a little bit of a problem for your diaper, of course. We need a good seal, and your peepee can’t be pointed up like that, or we’ll get some awkward leakage later. So we need some way to get rid of that little stiffy.” She held out one hand and touched his knees, still clenched together desperately. “These knees are really going to get you in trouble with me, I can tell. I don’t want to have to tell you again to spread them wide open,” she told him, the smile gone. “NOW.” Slowly, he opened his knees but kept his hands inefficiently cupped around his engorged penis. “That’s better,” she said. “Now, your hands need to find a better place to be. How about behind your head?” He hesitated. This was humiliating. She slapped his hands sharply. “We don’t have time for this,” she said. “If you want to have time for me to change you AT ALL today, let’s get going.” He reluctantly released his penis and put his hands behind his head. There was a trace of a smirk on her face which she apparently was trying to hide. He closed his eyes in shame. But they flew open wide again when he felt something shockingly cold over his groin. Gasping, he looked down, seeing her holding an ice pack to his penis. It was large, and she had wrapped it around it, allowing it to cover his testicles and inner thighs as well. “Holy shit!” he sputtered. “That’s too much!” His hands became unclasped from behind his head, but he stopped them from interfering, sensing that was too much. He glanced at her face, and caught a very stern look he had only seen on his mother’s face. “Hands,” was all she said, her voice as cold as the ice pack. Slowly, he put them back. Her face relaxed a little, but she kept eye contact, forcing him to drop his eyes and finally close them in defeat. His groin was starting to feel numb now. He pretended he was somewhere else. “I don’t like cursing,” she told him sternly. Then, more to herself, “If it becomes a problem, maybe we’ll have to see how you like a little mouth-soaping.” His eyes widened as her words brought him back to reality. He felt like she had to be kidding, but her expression was totally serious. And he was learning to take her seriously. How had he gotten himself into this nightmare? He closed his eyes again. After another minute, he heard the ice rattle and looked down to see that the pack was gone. She was turning back to the refrigerator. He was numb enough that he couldn’t have felt it. He lifted his head and noticed that his penis was limp again, pale white, and shrunken as if he were a little boy. “That will make things easier,” she commented. She turned back, grabbed a towel, and brusquely patted him dry, the condensation having dampened the skin. She sprinkled some baby powder over him and pulled the diaper up tightly, taping him securely, then patted him over his penis, through the diaper. “Ok, mission accomplished, despite the detour. You can get dressed.” He stood and rapidly pulled his pants up. She cleared her throat. “Did you have something you wanted to say to me?” She was suddenly a stickler for manners, apparently. “Thank you.” She raised her eyebrows. “…Ma’am,” he added quickly. This seemed to satisfy her, and she turned to unlock the door. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “I almost forgot.” She went to her purse, pulling out a tall cup with a lid and a hard straw. He saw that it was colored baby blue and had teddy bears on it. “I saw that you were a little dehydrated yesterday.” His confusion must have registered on his face. She explained, “The pee in your diaper was too dark yellow. As you know, it ought to be nearly clear. It is easy to fall behind on your hydration during a busy day, and I don’t want our…arrangement,” and here she looked at his padded diaper area, “to discourage hydration. That could influence your health negatively, after all.” She smiled. He thought it seemed a little mischievous. “So I vow to help you remember to drink throughout the day.” He stared at the cup, which appeared to be full. “It’s water. Sorry if the cup looks a little young for your age, but it’s all I had at home. How about if we say that you should have this drunk by 10am? We can do another by the time you start in the afternoon, and a third by 3pm. That should keep your kidneys working. We’re a team! And I’ll keep you healthy.” His heart sank. He didn’t want to refuse her. She seemed to have a temper today. But she was going to force him to wet his diaper frequently today. “Of course, if your urine is still too dark, we can adjust how often you have to empty it.” The door was open now, and she patted his puffy behind on her way out to get the first patient. “Time for work!” Chapter 5 It was hard for him to focus on anything other than the memory of her touch on his newly shaven body. He couldn’t stop thinking about her smile at his erection, and her gentle, sensitive fingers. Of course, that made him hard all over again, which was extremely awkward. Every time he passed Julie or talked to her in the workroom, she flashed a little smile that seemed designed to set him off again. It was like she knew just what she was doing to him. It was not overtly flirtatious, on the surface being completely professional, but it was fairly close to the line. He could barely feel pressure through his diaper, but that didn’t keep him from trying to put some surreptitious pressure on himself when he could. Ordinarily, in this situation, he might excuse himself and head to the bathroom for just a few minutes to “take care of” the situation, but that was now apparently off the table. He felt frustrated, and comforted himself thinking about how he would be able to make himself more comfortable after work. But that seemed like a long way off. At 9:30, Julie caught him in between rooms, teddy bear cup in hand. She didn’t say anything, but held it out to him expectantly. It was still full. He reluctantly accepted it and sipped a little, handing it back with a very small smile. “Thanks,” he said halfheartedly. She didn’t accept it back. “Nice try,” she said, smirking. “Drink up!” He set his laptop down, and tried not to glare at her. He stood in the hall, sucking water through the straw, until he sucked air. At this point, she beamed, whispering, “Good boy! I’ll see you later,” looking at his diaper meaningfully. He shook his head and went in with his next patient. Within an hour, his bladder was begging for relief. He was able to hold off until 11, but decided to pee a little into his diaper to make himself comfortable enough to finish the morning. He walked nonchalantly into the work room, pretending to look at a chart. He had just about relaxed enough to start peeing when Julie entered. Seeing him there, she strode over and cupped his crotch. “Nothing yet, huh? Is that why you’re back here? Did you duck in here to pee in your diaper?” He reddened. He had hoped for some privacy. “I do have to go, but…I can wait if you need something.” She smiled a little. “Oh, no, I don’t need anything.” She stood silently, a little knowing smile playing across her face. He glanced around, nervously. “Is there a reason you like to be here for this? It’s a little weird. Not to mention that it makes it harder to go…” She folded her arms. “I’m not sure why it should bother you. It is a natural bodily process, we’re both medical professionals. Also, one of the principal benefits of your diaper is that you can go right in public. Seems like most people would LOVE that feature. So why not take advantage of that?” He still looked dubious, but she seemed like a lawyer who had wrapped up a case. He had always been shy about the bathroom; he even hesitated using urinals in a crowded men’s room. Wouldn’t most people feel awkward in this situation? Didn’t he have a right to pee in private? “I really like to be alone sometimes. Would you mind waiting for me outside?” She studied him. “Yes, I mind. You gave up the right to privacy. You proved you can’t be trusted in the potty by yourself. You’ve lost your potty privileges. So, I don’t feel any need to honor your dignity by having to inconvenience myself so you can be alone.” She paused. “And…I have to admit that I enjoy your embarrassment a little bit. It seems so silly to be hung up about peeing in front of me, so I feel like we should get you past that. Why not today?” Her seemingly rational and unsympathetic approach exasperated him, as did her willingness to talk about things that should be private. If there was anything that might be worse than peeing in front of her, it would be talking about his bathroom functions. She seemed to recognize this, and even enjoy it. But the joy she was taking seemed friendly rather than malicious. She really did seem interested in helping him, even as she forced him to do things that were embarrassing. So he closed his eyes as he had done before and concentrated on relieving himself, pretending he was alone. He was able, after a moment, to relax enough to pee, and he drained some of his bladder. He stopped himself before he was done, however, because he didn’t want to be so wet that he might leak. He opened his eyes, expecting that she might have left again. But this time she was still standing in front of him, arms folded, eyebrows raised, with eyes that shifted between his face and his diaper. When she saw his eyes open, she again stepped forward and felt the full warm diaper. She lifted and squeezed gently, apparently gauging the product of his performance. Then she smiled, and patted him on the bottom. “Good work! That wasn’t so hard, was it? We’ll take care of that in a little while. You’re fine for a bit. Better get back to work for now.” And she turned on her heel and left before he had the chance to argue. He stared after her blankly. She didn’t seem upset, just unmotivated to change his diaper. There was a patient waiting. Maybe she wanted to be caught up first. He tried to ignore the full warm bulk between his legs, and focus on his work. He moved slowly, sat carefully, and felt the memorable squishing sensation. He was still sure he couldn’t possibly get used to that. But he had a little more confidence that he could work with it. He made sure he was efficient, and after 2 more appointments, he found Julie waiting in the hall for him. She didn’t say anything, just turned and walked down the short hall toward the workroom. He waddled after her quickly, aware of his rustling, feeling the wet diaper shift with each step. She locked the door after him, and he heard the familiar, “Pants down, hop up!” He didn’t hesitate. She was quick this time, which was good. This time, even without her fingers actively touching him directly, except with the wipe, he felt himself start to stiffen. The last encounter had sexualized the whole thing for him, and his waning embarrassment unfortunately left him more able to focus on the sensations and situation. She seemed to realize the possibility, and efficiently got a dry diaper taped on him quickly. He gratefully pulled his pants up, noting that less than a minute had elapsed. She again patted his bottom as she sent him back to work. He did notice that his teddy bear cup appeared to be full again, but she wasn’t insisting on draining it yet, so he didn’t ask. But by the time his morning was over, she greeted him with it, sending him on the way to lunch with a full cup of water. He actually didn’t mind, because he was planning on trying to wet his diaper early enough that she would change it before the afternoon started. If he had to play this game, he was going to play it smart. He drained the cup at the beginning of the meal, then managed to wet himself surreptitiously while standing in the lunchroom listening to others talk. Wetting himself right in front of other people made him nervous—could they tell? It felt so visible, but no one around him seemed to notice or care. The doctors ate together, often pestered by pharmaceutical representatives, while the nurses ate with the rest of the staff in another, larger room. But everyone retrieved their lunch together and threw their trash out in the same place, and he wasn’t surprised, as he squeezed the last few drops into his diaper, to see Julie watching him out of the corner of his eye. How did she always know? “New cup today?” One of his colleagues pointed at the teddy bear design as they sat down to eat. “Cute.” He blushed. “It’s Julie’s, but she’s letting me borrow it.” His colleague nodded. “Whatever works, I guess. You guys finished a little early today. Light schedule?” He shook his head. “Well, not really. Maybe easier patients?” But he suspected that they had just been particularly efficient that morning. Teamwork could really help the day fly by. Chapter 6 He sloshed back to the workroom to work on his task list on the computer, knowing that he’d be more likely to be changed promptly if there was not a backlog of work. He whittled it down nicely over the next 15 minutes, so that when Julie walked through the door, he only had a call to return to someone who wasn’t home. She walked up behind him and patted him on the shoulder. “Look who’s been busy!” she said, impressed. “Amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it.” He turned his head to meet her gaze. She winked knowingly. “Looks like you have a minute to get more comfortable. Interested?” He nodded. “Yes, please. I’m—“ He stopped self-consciously. “Damp? Uncomfortable? Soaked?” she prodded, nodding. “Why don’t we take care of that?” She went to lock the door. He stood up and undid his belt. She smiled at how far he’d come. Had it really only been yesterday that she had had to threaten him to pull his pants down? She retrieved a dry diaper. She’d left a blue pad, the wipes, and the baby powder at what had become their changing table. It wasn’t that she wanted others to know about the situation, but she also wasn’t opposed to the idea. Sooner or later, the staff would figure out that he was wearing diapers. She hadn’t yet figured out how they would explain that, but assumed it would be a urological explanation, like maybe he had bladder or prostate issues. Eventually, having him outed would make things easier. But he wasn’t sure his ego could take it yet. Slow and steady wins the race. This race was definitely on, and it looked like she was winning. He had his pants down and was up on the table, lying back, legs stretched widely apart. She untaped his diaper and pulled it down, breathing in the familiar mix of urine and powder that she liked so much. The diaper was indeed soaked, and this also made her happy. He had settled in nicely to following her rules, which certainly boded well for the future. It had been nothing more than pure luck, really, that they had been paired upon her hiring, but there was nothing coincidental about where they were today. She had immediately recognized his submissive nature in the way he dropped his eyes when they talked. He was socially a little shy in an appealing way. She had gently extended some work-appropriate flirtation, and his reaction to these very bland comments had confirmed both his social inexperience and receptiveness to her leadership. He might be smart and educated, but that didn’t mean he knew his way around dating or sex. It hadn’t taken long for her to start daydreaming about him. Julie was in her late twenties, old enough to have a failed marriage but young enough to retain a healthy interest in having another. Her two young children took a lot of energy, and she could see the advantage of having a man in her life. But this time, it would have to be on her terms. And she had decided firmly on her terms at about the same time she had kicked her ex-husband out of her house and life. She had taken two other jobs since her kids were born, one at a different doctor’s office. There were several young doctors, and she realized she shared plenty in common with these men, who were generally smart and professional. Wouldn’t it be nice if she could find someone she could build a relationship with, the way she wanted it? When she couldn’t get the hours she needed to pay her rent, she first worked at a nursing home, and still had friends there. She generally didn’t like the hours, so she had switched back to an outpatient clinic. She would sometimes cover her friends’ shifts for extra money, however. This job was definitely the best she had found. She had lucked into finding a gentle, smart, and apparently submissive young doctor–who might turn out to be a good partner. It seemed too good to be true, and she knew she might never get another opportunity like this one. So she had planned her ambush, thought through what might motivate him, and had a very careful blueprint for drawing him into her life. The plan made good use of her willingness to embarrass him into cooperating. She would motivate him by appealing to his desire to help her, and to help his patients. She wasn’t afraid to shame or bully him if needed, but so far she hadn’t needed to resort to that. She felt on solid footing now. He’d accepted her as being in charge, and seemed to respond well to her mommy’s-the-boss repertoire. He was unaccustomed to being subservient, but by nature seemed to be a natural. He just needed a crash course in what she expected. She felt strongly that if she handled it right, she could indoctrinate him any way she chose. She just needed the right balance of being stern and kind, and she needed to keep him focused on the benefits of obeying her. She pulled out a baby wipe. Chapter 7 He lay obediently with his feet down and knees far apart, exposing himself to Julie as she shocked his pubic skin with her cold wipe. She brought it over his shortened hair, then grasped his penis and efficiently wrapped her fingers and thumb around it, pulling down toward the tip quickly. She cupped and wiped his scrotum, then quietly commanded, “Up.” He raised his legs as he thought about how absurd this situation was. When he came to work yesterday, he would never have believed any of this. But, odd as it sounded, he was starting to trust Julie. Even though she had been–what was the word? stern?–with him yesterday, everything she had done since then had been reassuring. She kept emphasizing efficiency and service to patients. He believed strongly in these things, and had now seen that the two of them, working together, were a very good team. She had always seemed bright, witty, and compassionate, but the last 24 hours had seen her up her game with their patients. It was almost worth it. But wait. Surely it wasn’t completely worth it. Lying naked in front of her was absolutely humiliating, he thought, as she threw away the first wipe and retrieved another fresh one, which—whew!—was cold again, and drew it across his bottom. He had never been outgoing, and she was the kind of person who befuddled him. She was fearless and direct. She did not seem to care about his embarrassment. But Julie also seemed to be so focused on working together for a cause he could understand, and she wasn’t making fun of his nakedness or of his acquiescence. He had certainly met women who had been unimpressed with his shyness and trouble making small talk. Some early disasters with girls had left him tentative and quiet. He counted himself lucky to have had a serious girlfriend in college and another in medical school. They had been even less outgoing than he, and he’d at least had some sexual experience. But women like Julie, while intriguing to him, scared him and left him uncertain. Now, as she brought the wipe down his crack toward his anus, he wouldn’t know how to confront her about the bizarreness of how she was treating him. He felt her poke his anus, twisting the wipe. This didn’t hurt, but he didn’t understand why she did it. Maybe if he asked nicely, she would tell him, or (preferably) stop. After this came the cool sprinkle of the baby powder, with the scent eventually wafting up. Then the new diaper slipped under his bottom, and the direction, “Down.” The new crinkly bulk pulled up over him, and taped down tightly. “Okay, I’ll go check to see if there is a patient waiting.” He sat up, legs hanging off the side of the table, gathered his courage, and asked his question. “Do you mind if I ask you something?” Her face became guarded for an instant, then cleared. “No, of course not. What is it, sweetie?” “Sweetie” was nice, he thought at first blush. He’d have to consider that, but not now. “Why do you do that poking thing every time?” He couldn’t meet her gaze, embarrassed at having to ask the question at all. While he hated talking about anything diaper- or bathroom-related, he disliked the anal probing (that’s what it was, right?) even more. “What poking?” She seemed genuinely confused, then said, “Oh, you mean when I’m cleaning your bottom?” He nodded, staring at the floor. He heard her say, “I can’t hear your manners.” He looked up, then realized what she meant. “Yes. Yes, ma’am.” She smiled brightly. “That’s much better. I love it when you’re polite.” She came back over and sat next to him. He became aware of the fact that he had failed to pull up his pants. He was sitting next to her with his pants and boxers down around his ankles, a puffy diaper showing under his shirttail. But this didn’t seem like the right time to remedy that. It would have to wait. At the same time, it made their conversation a little awkward, since it seemed to make her the adult. It was hard to plead for his dignity when he was happy sitting in just a diaper. “Well,” she said, knitting her brow, apparently deciding how to address his question. “That is a good question. I wasn’t going to bring up the topic with you so soon, but since you’ve asked, we should discuss it.” She scooted a little away on the table and then turned to face him, best she could. “The first time, yesterday, it was just habit. As you know, I have two little boys, both of whom are still in diapers. The older one is just getting interested in the potty. “I change them the same way I change you, of course, and cleaning their bottoms is just a part of that. An important part of that, wouldn’t you agree? Nobody likes a dirty bottom,” she said, as if it was a religious tenet of some common faith they shared. “So yesterday, I just did to you what I usually do for them, just to make sure their bottoms are clean. “I always wipe them, then check the wipe to see if it is clean. You know, to see if they need more attention down there. You can imagine my surprise yesterday, when I checked the wipe after cleaning your bottom, the wipe came away a little dirty. Apparently you don’t wipe enough after you poop.” He sat, shocked, and didn’t know how to respond. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, because I imagine it’s something most people would be sensitive about, so I wasn’t going to bring it up. But…you asked…” Julie was watching his face, monitoring his reaction. “It’s not that big a deal to me, you understand. I’ve generally noticed that men, male patients, tend not to pay as much attention to wiping, so I wasn’t surprised. But you’re welcome to work on that a little bit if you want.” She hopped up. “If you look clean for a few days in a row, maybe I’ll just do spot checks,” she said, smiling, trying unsuccessfully to meet his eyes, which were firmly staring at the floor. “I’m sure you want to be clean, and I want that, too. I’ll quit poking your bottom once you show me you can clean yourself up to my standards. Deal?” His cheeks burned, unable to believe they were talking about this most basic of bathroom habits. His stunned silence was interrupted by her hand on his chin, lifting his face until he couldn’t help but look in her eyes. He expected them to be critical, disgusted, accusatory. But they weren’t. Julie’s eyes were warm and happy. Now that he was looking into them, he couldn’t remember what she had asked. “Deal?” she said again, amused at his distraction. “Yes, ma’am,” he said automatically, unsure at first what he had just agreed to. But she seemed to want him to agree. His answer appeared to make her happy, so that was good. “That’s my good boy,” she said, releasing his chin and his gaze, and looking down at him. He was still sitting in his diaper with his pants around his ankles. “Now you’d better get your pants pulled up so I can open the door. We’ll have a patient waiting, I expect.” He hadn’t realized he was still half undressed. He jumped off the exam table and pulled up his pants, hurriedly trying to zip and buckle himself. She smiled fondly at his hurried efforts, then disappeared to start the afternoon. He didn’t really have time to ponder her comments, as they were a little behind due to his question. By 2:30, however, he really needed to pee, and found a full teddy bear cup at his work station in between patients. He wet himself nearly without thinking as he downed the cup under her approving eyes. When she turned away immediately to busy herself with a different task, he understood that it wasn’t time to be changed yet. But he worked quickly, and was rewarded with Julie waiting outside a patient room 30 minutes later. She gave him a “follow me” look he had learned to recognize, and obediently did so. The familiar, “Pants down, hop up!” led to a quick dry diaper, and he was able to finish the afternoon quickly. Chapter 8 At the end of the day, he had only a few tasks to complete on his computer and a single phone call to make. He was amazed, until he realized that not only had he been more efficient, but Julie had, too. She had handled more of his work than he was used to, and as a result, they didn’t have much to do after the patients had gone. That was a nice change. “Would you like to get out of that wet diaper?” she asked, as she watched him finish a final note documenting a phone call. He was confused. “What?” “Your diaper is wet. It’s okay to get you cleaned up and ready for home.” She had that amused look again. He hadn’t realized that he was sitting in a wet diaper. If he thought back, of course, he could remember wetting it, but maybe he had apparently gotten a little used to the sensation. That didn’t seem like a good sign. It reminded him of something. “Yes, please,” he said, getting up and unbuckling his pants. She had the door locked. “Ooh, I like your manners.” She came over and helped him lie down. He decided that if she was happy, he should ask his question now. “Umm…may I ask another question?” She was untaping his diaper and pulling it down. Her cold wipe came out. “Of course, sweetheart,” she cooed. He felt the cool sensation across his pubic area, then down, down, encircling his penis. And gently wiping, and wiping…was she lingering a little? He felt himself stiffen quickly. Uh-oh. His hands instinctively flew down to cover himself. “Ah—no hands,” she said, lightly smacking his hands. Embarrassed, but mindful of staying on her good side—he’d need that in a moment, he reluctantly moved his arms back up above his head. She could see what was happening, and apparently either didn’t mind, or—more likely, given her reaction—had intended it. What did that mean?! he wondered, growing anxious. It was wrong to let her touch him, at least like this. But he had let her do it before, so correcting her would be awkward, and he surely didn’t want to argue right before negotiating. He gulped and tried to think about anything else other than his growing excitement. That was turning out to be impossible. Her touch felt amazing! “What is it?” she asked, her brow furrowed in mock concern. Her fingers were not leaving his penis. He felt them tickle him a little, running up and down the shaft, touching under the head. No one had ever gently teased him this way, and it felt so nice. He was lost in the sensation. What was she asking him? “Umm…” “Your question. What can I answer for you?” She had him at full erection now, and gently touched him to keep his attention, but not so much as to stimulate him any closer to orgasm. Her touch was tender but almost teasing, not taking him so far that he felt he might lose control. He wondered idly if she might have done this before. He shook his head and tried to focus. “Oh, um, right. Well, yesterday, I asked when we could be done. You know, with the, um,” he looked at the cabinet and down toward her hands. “What?” she said casually, still lightly caressing him. She was obviously acutely aware of the effect she was having on him. She might have been enjoying it, but she kept a poker face. He was both having trouble focusing, but was also embarrassed to say the word. “You know, if I could be done wearing the, um…” “You can say the word diaper, you know,” she said, smiling at him. “That’s what it’s called.” “Ok,” he said, blushing. She stopped touching him for a moment. “Well, go ahead. Say the word.” He didn’t like to admit that he’d let her diaper him. But she was going to force him to say it. “Well, yesterday, you said I had to wear the…diapers…through today.” He again felt her warm hands stroke him softly. “And then we could talk about…ooh!” he gasped, as she applied the wipe to his testicles, gently stroking them now in turn. “About stopping. So…can we?” “Stop?” she asked, drawing her hands away from him abruptly. He almost instinctively raised his hips to find her again. “Do you…want to? Stop?” She looked down at him with a knowing smile. He sighed, aware that she seemed to be referring to her hands on his body. He wasn’t really sure how he felt about that. It definitely crossed a professional boundary, but her attitude seemed more flirtatious than hungry and sexual. In this position, with her hands lightly touching him there, he couldn’t really think rationally. He really wanted her touch to continue. It was so soft and nice. He closed his eyes to concentrate, but this kept him from being able to see her eyes. Her eyes were pretty; he’d never really noticed before. “I couldn’t hear you.” She spoke softly. He cleared his throat. His penis throbbed, bobbing in the air. He could imagine how ridiculous it looked, but it was begging for her touch. “I’d really like to stop wearing a diaper. You know, go back to using the bathroom.” “Mmm…because you don’t like it?” She laughed, not unkindly. “I can see that you really don’t enjoy it.” He opened his eyes briefly to see that she was smiling playfully at him. “You…seem to have become more comfortable with the situation.” She reached out and touched him again gently, making him gasp. “It’s just that I don’t think it’s professional for a doctor to wear a diaper, and—“ She grasped his penis firmly, and interrupted him. “We’ve been through this. No one can tell you are wearing a diaper, and we both decided that it is far more professional to be on-time and efficient than to be spending endless time in the bathroom, inconveniencing patients, staff, and me. This is truly a perfect solution. You’ve kept your patients waiting much less, and they are appreciative. They’ve told me so.” He couldn’t really look into her eyes and concentrate at the same time. She relaxed her grip on his penis, allowing her hand to slip gently up and down its shaft. He started breathing harder, and could hear her cooing, “You are thriving, much more efficient than you were before. And we are an awesome team. Working together, you’ve finished earlier and had more free time, AND kept patients and staff happier.” She stopped stroking, again holding his penis firmly, drawing his gaze to her face. “This arrangement WORKS, and you know it. The way we are working, you could even see an additional 2 or 3 patients per day, which would be pure profit, if I understand how it works. It seems like this”—and here she tugged on the wet diaper still tucked under his bottom—“is a small price to pay to work so well.” He swallowed. She could see his will wavering. Almost there… She moved in for the kill. She started stroking his lower belly, just above his neatly shaved pubic hair. “Do you think we are working well together?” He nodded, staring up at the ceiling. “I can’t hear your manners,” she corrected gently. “Yes, ma’am,” he murmured grudgingly. “Have we finished earlier these two days?” He paused just a moment before admitting, “Yes, ma’am.” She looked down briefly at his stiff penis, bobbing in the air near her hand. “Do you think I have handled this…potentially embarrassing…situation professionally?” He knew that she had had plenty of opportunities to embarrass him, but had not. “Yes, ma’am.” Except for this…wonderful…touching… “So at this point, do you think I have earned your trust?” Here she stopped touching him, and waited for him to look at her. “Yes, ma’am.” He certainly couldn’t argue with that. He didn’t understand her very well, but he had started to trust her. She smiled at him kindly as she took him in her hand again, stroking slowly. “Then my opinion is that we shouldn’t try to fix something that isn’t broken. I know it was jarring to try something new, but it is clearly working really well for us. So this time let’s commit to continuing for another week. It will give us more time to decide that these two days have not been a fluke. But I don’t think it IS a fluke. I’m so confident that I’ll promise to quit this business if you don’t also think our teamwork is flourishing after another week. That sounds reasonable, right?” Numbly, he nodded and saw her eyebrows rise briefly before quickly saying, “Yes, ma’am.” Her voice was mesmerizing, her touch transformative. Truthfully, of course, he might have said anything to make her happy when her hands were so close to him. But there was also a deeper part of him, which he was only vaguely aware of, that felt more content and cared-for over the last few days than he had in a long time. He sighed, embarrassed by this strange arrangement, but not completely unhappy with it. She was nodding and smiling. She patted his penis gently, and said, “Then let’s put that away for now.” She wrinkled her eyebrows, noting that it might be difficult to tuck him in. She wiped his bottom, shook a little more powder on him, then pressed his penis up to his belly and pulled his boxers up over it. “That will have to do for now, I suppose. Those things can be so troublesome,” she murmured to herself, though she was also thinking how easy “those things” made getting what she wanted. “Ok, sit up!” His face flushed, breathing a little heavily, he paused a second, then nodded and sat up. That was an abrupt and unwelcome end to what he had presumed would be a bit more climactic. But Julie was all business again, so while he briefly considered protesting, he suspected it wouldn’t make a difference, and could wind up making him seem pathetic. Instead, he should be professional. He took a deep breath and stood up. He stared down and noticed that his boxers tented out in front of him. She glanced over at him, smiling a bit at his predicament, then went to the sink to wash her hands. He leaned over quickly and pulled up his khakis, working at getting them fastened over his erection. Once he had, he looked more presentable. “Ok, well, thanks for all your work today…as usual. It was…a good day,” he said awkwardly, trying to regain his dignity. He started gathering up his things, putting away his laptop and mouse. She went to her purse. She nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, it was,” she said, glancing up at him. “It certainly was. Thank you for being so considerate to me. I can’t tell you how much it means to be done so early and able to see my little ones.” He walked her out, grateful that he was finally dressed normally and talking to her like he might any other staff member. This felt like a more appropriate work situation, surely, than being diapered or naked in her presence. It was a relief. As they walked the short distance to their cars, which were parked at the far end of the practice’s parking lot, Julie said, “My mother takes care of the kids during the day. But she must also see to my dad as well, so I like to relieve her as soon as I can. After a day with the kids, she’ll be happy to see me so early!” She reached her car and paused for a moment. She suddenly leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. “You’re our hero, you know!” He nodded, surprised. “Well, I’m glad it worked out so well.” He realized he was blushing as he unlocked his car. He was flattered and touched, but didn’t know what else to say. “See you tomorrow?” She smiled. “You bet. Thanks again for being so thoughtful. I think we make a great team! Have a nice evening.” She got into her car, and thought more about how this relationship was going. He seemed more and more receptive to her being in charge. That opened up all sorts of possibilities. Julie liked being in charge. She had been drawn to dominance in her relationships from a young age. Controlling the supposedly stronger gender had always held appeal, and she had enjoyed this challenge while dating during nursing school. She grew used to exercising her bossy skills to get what she wanted–and needed. Oddly to her, one boy even seemed attracted to being humiliated, and she learned she didn’t mind giving him what he wanted. She learned that she had a talent for sensing tentativeness, and her comfort with confrontation seemed to put her in the driver’s seat more often than she would have expected. Her only lapse, ironically, had been her marriage, and it had only reinforced her need to control her relationships. Confused by societal expectations, she had married a man who had projected strength and confidence. She had assumed he was the kind of meat-and-potatoes man that women should marry, and had assumed she could change what she didn’t like. But he was emotionally distant. She was used to being able to lead her partners, either overtly or through more subtle manipulation. But he seemed immune for some reason. He just didn’t care. She had two children in rapid succession, and held out hope that this would draw him into their relationship, or that he would grow up. But he actually became more distant after their second son, and she decided she would rather raise her kids alone than remain married in name only. He was surprised, but later seemed relieved, when she kicked him out of their 2-bedroom apartment without asking for more than the lease in return. She hadn’t seen him since. And while it was jarring to find she had so misjudged that relationship, it taught her a lot about what was right for her. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. If she ever married again, she’d need to be in charge from the beginning. She pulled out her phone. As he got into his own car, he could distantly hear her conversation. “Yes, Mom. I’m on my way. I know! It was a good day! See you soon…” As he drove, he thought about the day. And about Julie. She was lovely and nice. Her hands were strong and confident, but felt very gentle and loving. That was going to be hard to forget. He could feel himself getting hard all over again, and he reached down to adjust himself. She was such an alluring mix of sexy and smart, but her insistence on his wearing a diaper was just weird. Wasn’t it? He thought so, but she could make it sound almost normal. The way she talked to him, it would have felt rude if to have refused. And there was a part of him that wanted to make her happy. Her smile was so pretty, and she seemed to be so happy over the last day or two. It was a little weird, but he was almost willing to do anything to see her smile. He squirmed, ready to be home and attend to himself. He thought he knew whose face he was going to be imagining tonight. Chapter 9 Despite how silly he inevitably felt allowing her to diaper him over the next week, he couldn’t deny that work was more fun. He had never felt more in sync with a nurse. She seemed to anticipate every need he had, both professionally and personally. She knew when a patient would need a test, and often had the details settled by the time he came out of a room. He was amazed at how in tune she had quickly become with his bladder habits. He tried to relieve himself out of her sight during his little “down” moments, but he often would glance around afterward, his diaper feeling newly warm, and would see her watching him pleasantly. Then she would busy herself with her work, making no move to change him until they had a break together. He started to relax and trust her judgment about that. His diaper had not leaked into his pants even once. She seemed to have a knack for timing his diaper changes. It was true that she was also the one setting out his water for him. Some days, he noticed, he was offered water more often than others. As he was zipping up his pants after a change one day, he asked her why. “Are you…still, um, keeping some sort of eye on my…hydration?” She smiled a little as she rolled up and taped the warm wet diaper he had been wearing. “Your wet diapers actually tell me a lot. I still keep a close eye on the color, judging just how wet they are and how yellow they look.” She tossed the diaper into the diaper disposal bin she had recently brought into the office for this purpose, she commented, “I want to keep my doctor healthy, you know.” She fondly patted him on his padded behind. He blushed, thinking about how she knew personal things about him that he had not even been aware of. Should he be creeped out by this invasion of privacy? He didn’t feel that way. He realized he felt a little touched, and even reassured by this gentle supervision. She was looking out for him. It had been quite a while since someone had been on his side, helping him. It felt warm and nice, he thought. As he thought about it, he realized that it felt maternal. Julie had assumed that type of role quite naturally. The nice thing was that she didn’t make him feel inferior or less like a man about surrendering that control. She didn’t make fun of him for wearing a diaper, or letting her clean him. She was just very direct and honest. Once he had adjusted to it, he could almost imagine it was normal. It was kind of nice sharing his day so intimately with someone, and not having to worry about mundane things like keeping hydrated or clean. She was a blessing. Like a mother, however, she did occasionally nag him. Nothing he didn’t deserve, though, he admitted to himself. There had been days he hadn’t shaved himself, and of course she noticed. She spent more time looking at his private area than he did, after all. “What is this?” she might ask as she brushed his stubble with a cocked eyebrow. “This isn’t the clean-shaven boy I know,” or “I like you so much better when you’re smooth,” or “Somebody hasn’t been doing his homework.” She was gentle, but firm. She was nice, but insistent. He knew where he stood, and accepted that shaving was important to her. He found himself wanting to feel nice under her hands. He liked the brief smile she had when she touched his smooth, shaven skin. And wouldn’t she usually spend just a few extra seconds touching him? It seemed so, and that was worth the effort. He wasn’t exactly getting used to that one finger she used when she cleaned him, though. It always found its way into his bottom. She did it every single time she changed him. It no longer surprised him, of course, but still didn’t feel natural or comfortable. He had started being more careful wiping himself in the bathroom, but her actions seemed to indicate that she wasn’t quite satisfied with him. Well, he wasn’t really sure what to do about that. He even googled, “how to wipe properly” to make sure he wasn’t supposed to stick the toilet paper inside, but nobody seemed to recommend that. So there didn’t seem to be anything else he could do to convince her he was doing an adequate job. And he decided that at this point, he didn’t want to have another conversation about it. Talks with her were so embarrassing! So even if he didn’t like it, he didn’t complain again. When she asked him to lift his legs, he would start to tense up, squeezing his anus closed in protest. But it didn’t matter. Her finger, wrapped with a cold wet wipe, still found its way inside him. It didn’t linger, just in and out. But he felt embarrassed to be invaded there. He never really wanted to look her in the eyes for a few minutes afterward. Julie seemed to sense this, however, and often tried to engage him either during the process or immediately afterward, calling him on his reticence if he didn’t answer right away. She seemed to be trying to get him past his embarrassment, though he wasn’t sure why she cared. He wished she would just leave his bottom alone. He’d mostly gotten past peeing in his diaper in front of her, but…there were some things that were just too private. But usually, her hands felt great. During the day, she was generally all business. She changed and cleaned him faster than he could pee and wash his hands on his own in the old days. At the end of the day, though, often amid conversation, her hands would slow down, gently caressing him with a wipe. These cleanings would last long enough that the wipe would warm up and feel so, so good. Her hands would linger everywhere, from his shaved pubic area, to his testicles, to the cleft between his cheek, and to the area right around his bottom. And once he realized that this last change was more of a leisurely and pleasurable event, he began to look forward to it. When she untaped him as he lay back on the table, his erection would spring forth, usually drawing a knowing smile from her. And she didn’t neglect his penis, either. She made sure to clean it carefully and thoroughly, deliberately stroking him. He stopped trying to hide his excitement—how could he? And she seemed to enjoy pleasuring him almost as much as he did. But she never brought him all the way to orgasm. He was not sure why, but she clearly had no interest in going that far. She would start stroking him faster and faster, gripping more firmly, until his breathing began to get more ragged and fast. But whenever he thought that today might be the day, she would stop or pause, leaving him waiting and hoping. After a moment, she might turn and dispose of the wet diaper she had removed, or she might return to stroking him. She kept him guessing. He never voiced any discontent, though. He didn’t want her to feel like he was ungrateful for what she did, or to change their intimate relationship. He thought he understood that she was trying to make this situation more enjoyable to him. He had never had any prior experience with tease and denial in a relationship. But he sensed that Julie was in control, and that it wasn’t up to him what happened. He had learned to relax and enjoy it. He puzzled over the rules that seemed to guide her behavior, though. Why did she think it was okay to caress him, but not bring him fully to orgasm? He guessed it was more professional not to cross that line. This is how he rationalized this end-of-day activity, and defended her denial of him in his mind. He would go home every single day denied and hungry, but didn’t stay that way for long. He found himself thinking about it all day in anticipation. During the day, his diaper and lack of private time kept him from touching himself. But he had no such limitations at night. He rushed home daily to relieve himself, and sometimes would pleasure himself multiple times each evening. He would see her face and imagine her hands on him whenever he masturbated, and fantasized about the two of them together. Oddly, it wasn’t only regular sex he imagined. Though he had never been turned on by leather and whips, he started imagining Julie telling him what to do in the bedroom. She seemed like she would know just what she liked, and how he could pleasure her. She took care of him during the day. He would like to take care of her in return. Despite the direction their work and personal relationship had taken, he wasn’t certain he wanted to push it further down that road. He knew all about sexual harassment, and respected her far too much to chance making her uncomfortable. He’d love to ask her out. But what if he broke what they had? It would be risky. Maybe it was better to be satisfied with their wonderful, strange intimacy just the way it was. And anyway, she seemed to have no problem asking for something if she wanted it. Surely she would tell him? When the next week had ended, he didn’t even consider asking to stop using diapers. She surely noticed, but also didn’t bring it up. They had settled into a very workable—and very enjoyable—relationship. The price for their flirty teamwork—wearing diapers—was high, but it worked! Julie continued to be amazed at how smoothly things were going. He hadn’t even brought up the subject of the diapers at the end of the next week. He seemed to be growing more comfortable in his submissive and infantile role. He accepted her rules and supervision, kept himself closely shaved, and didn’t even complain when she popped her finger in his anus, which she was careful to do every single time she could. That would come in handy sometime soon. Sure, her teasing sessions were undoubtedly helping the process along, but what was new? She had learned that men could be influenced via their genitalia. It was too easy not to do it. Men were just built to be manipulated. It wasn’t their fault. Her job was to use her powers for good. She had always tried to help them do what was needed, and she had a responsibility not to take advantage of their simplicity and hurt them. This particular man was a good man. He was so vulnerable and naïve that she had to take care. So far, she thought she was doing well. Sure, she was taking advantage of male weakness and his need for intimacy. She was inducing dependence and submission, but it was for a good cause. Of course she wasn’t going to let him come. It reinforced her dominance, loving though it was. It let him know that his pleasure was not the main goal. It kept him on the edge, stoking his sexual appetite. It introduced the idea that sometimes he might not get to come, and that she was in control of that. But mostly, it let him know that she wasn’t “easy” or there for his satisfaction. If he wanted more, he’d have to ask (or beg, she thought hungrily). He had been uncertain about their “arrangement” at the beginning, but he wasn’t complaining now. She’d been delighted the very first day she teased him and left him hanging. He had sighed, and she thought he might whine. But instead, he seemed to accept her gift to him for what it was. She knew then that she could develop his submissive nature, even if he wasn’t aware of it yet. He could be perfect for her. Time to raise the stakes. Chapter 10 Two and a half weeks after having Julie first ask him to pull down his pants, his eyes were closed and he was enjoying her end-of-day ministrations. He was really starting to like this, and, maybe, like her, as something more than a coworker. Suddenly, she stopped stroking him and held his penis tightly. His eyes opened, as he sensed she wanted his attention. “I had a patient today who recently had a colonoscopy, and she said the GI doctor mentioned how important it is to take fiber every day. She said everyone should take extra fiber. It can cut down on heart disease and diverticulitis, and maybe even prevent colon cancer. Is that true?” Hoping that a quick easy answer would encourage her to get back to their usual late-afternoon activity, he nodded. “Uh, sure. Important for everyone.” She seemed concerned. “Hmm, I don’t take any extra fiber. Do you?” She started slowly stroking him, and he closed his eyes again. “Hmm, no.” …And then she stopped. His eyes popped open. He found that she was looking at him, as if considering something. “Sounds like both of us could use some fiber. It comes in supplements, right? I’m up for it if you are.” She smiled at him and started stroking again, just lightly, with her fingertips. He knew she was teasing him, maybe even manipulating him in some unimportant way, but he decidedly did not care at this moment. His eyelids closed again. “Sure, sure. Good idea.” Though he couldn’t see it, her smile broadened. “Great, great. I’ll feel much better if we’re taking care of ourselves. I’ll bring in some supplements tomorrow.” She gave him a few more slow, gentle strokes, then off-handedly asked, “Somehow I’m guessing that you tend more toward being constipated?” She saw his eyebrows furrow a little, but he kept his eyes closed. “Um, well…”, he started, but didn’t elaborate. She realized she’d need to help him focus. When her hand stopped again, he realized she’d asked him a question. But he wasn’t really paying attention to her words, so he wasn’t sure how to answer. “Oh, um…What was the question again?” He was very aware that her hand was still on him, now with a tight grasp, but not moving. “Well, you’ve been in a diaper for more than two weeks, and you’ve never asked me about what would happen if you need to poop. So I’m guessing you don’t poop very often?” Whoa. If there was anything he didn’t want to talk about with Julie, it was his bowel habits! He had started to fantasize about her all the time, and she was touching him right now. How could he steer her away from the topic? If he had learned anything about Julie, it was that she wasn’t easily deterred. He’d have to say something if he wanted to move on. “Well, it varies, but I don’t think it’s, like, abnormal.” He was relieved when he felt her hand start to move again. But his heart sank a little when he realized she wasn’t moving on. “Well, that’s good…So when was the last time you pooped?” He sighed in exasperation. “Do we really have to talk about that? It’s kind of personal.” She snorted, though her hand still moved. “I’ve been changing your diaper for two weeks, and I’m touching you in an extremely intimate way right now. Are there really things that are off limits?” She smiled expectantly, raising her eyebrows. His face reddened a little. He didn’t want this to stop, awkward as it was. So he nodded slightly, saying, “Good point. I just don’t really like talking about…that.” She smiled fondly at him, exquisitely enjoying his embarrassment. “Why are you embarrassed about how often you poop?” He shook his head. Nothing he could do would shake this woman. “I just don’t like talking about that stuff.” “Stuff like your pooping habits?” He groaned. “Yes. Like that.” She giggled and gripped him a little tighter, but slowed her stroke down. Part of her goal here was to embarrass him, which, it pleased her to discover, turned her on, but part was to get him to associate being embarrassed with being excited, and to associate her with that embarrassment, and with control. And it was even better to be talking about bathroom habits, over which she was soon to be in complete control. The more confusion he felt about whether he was embarrassed or excited, the easier it would be to manipulate him, both toward her intermediate and her ultimate goals. “Well, I’m not sure why you are embarrassed. You are a health professional, and you talk to patients all the time about their own pooping and peeing.” She looked innocently at him. “It looks like you don’t like it when the tables are turned?” She kept stroking him steadily but very slowly, shaking her head. “Well, too bad. You know it is important. Someone needs to keep you honest.” She suddenly stopped stroking him. “So? When was the last time you pooped?” He sighed, realizing that she wouldn’t stop until he gave her an answer. Blushing, he said, “I guess it was probably on Monday.” She frowned, but started lightly touching—almost tickling—his testicles. “That’s been three days. Is that about average for you?” He nodded slightly. “Yeah, probably.” “But I’ve heard you tell patients that they should take enough fiber so that they poop every day. Are you ignoring your own advice?” He squirmed a little on the table. In response, her grip tightened, seemingly intending to pin him down on this point. “I guess, maybe,” he admitted. “A little.” Her grip relaxed slightly, and he felt her hand move up and down his shaft again. That was nice. He must have said something she liked. He resolved to do more of that if he could. “Well, I can help with that, if you’d like. Would you like that?” she purred softly. All he could think about was her soft, soft hand. “Sure, whatev—I mean, Yes, ma’am. You bet.” She nodded. “I’ve got to keep my doctor happy and healthy, don’t I?” His eyes closing, he murmured, “Happy. So happy….” She smiled down at him. She sure loved compliant men. “So tomorrow we’ll start some fiber supplements, won’t we? And we’ll just keep track of your poops so we know how we’re doing, okay?” He nodded, then, realizing she liked to be answered out loud, said, “Yes, ma’am.” Unknown to him, her smile broadened, and she shook her head. She knew she could get his bowel habits under her thumb, but hadn’t really thought it would be quite that easy. Men really were simple creatures. Her job done today, she efficiently brought him just to the edge of an orgasm, and then cleaned him up. His eyes slowly came open, then focused. He seemed a little disappointed, but—like before—didn’t complain. She left him naked on the table for a moment. “Did you want…me to put another diaper on you to go home?” His brow furrowed as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Well, no, of course not.” He sat up and swung his legs around. ”Why would I?” As she washed her hands, she shrugged. “No reason. It’s just that, by now, you know they have their practical purpose. I realized I’d never asked if you wanted to wear one home for convenience.” He considered for a moment, then shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. No need for that, of course. That…would be weird.” She smiled at him. “Either way. I’m going out to pick up some fiber supplements. Are there any you specifically recommend or prefer?” He was buckling his pants. “Not really. I think pills are generally easier. Never tried any.” As she grabbed her purse, she said, “Well, then, I guess we’ll experiment a little.” Chapter 11 The next morning when he walked into the work room, he noticed a new whiteboard on the cabinet, completely blank except for lines and dates hand-drawn to make a calendar. On the counter were a little box of magnets, and an industrial size bottle that he realized was full of fiber laxative caps. Next to his water bottle, already filled for him, was a little cup with 2 capsules in it. Oh, boy, she was serious. As he set his bag down, he noticed her watching him. He nodded at the medicine cup. “I’m assuming those are for me?” She smiled. “You bet! The bottle says to take 2-4 daily, or however many are needed. I figured we’d start with two daily, and just increase the amount until you are pooping daily. And…”, and here she jumped up excitedly and walked over to the calendar. “…this is the poop chart I made for you! Do you like it?” He reddened. “Chart?” She nodded. “Poop chart, that’s right. When you make a poop the night before, or before you come in in the morning, you can put a smiley face magnet on the day. Or more than one if you’ve been really busy. If you haven’t made a poop since we saw each other, you should put a frowny face.” She held out the box of stickers to him. “Go ahead, try it out!” He stood there staring at the magnets, and then looked up at her, pained. “Seriously?” She looked a little hurt, then resolute. “Yes, seriously. I bought the magnets, and made the chart, so that you wouldn’t have to talk about your pooping every day. I was being sensitive to your weird shyness about your bathroom habits. I thought this would be easier. Would you rather I asked you each morning?” she inquired, her eyebrows raised. “No, no,” he said hurriedly. “I guess the magnets are better than having to talk about…that. Thanks for being so considerate.” She stood there with the box, patiently. Eventually he got the clue. “Oh! Right,” he mumbled. “Well, um…” He found a red sad face magnet and picked it out. He put it over yesterday’s date. “How’s that?” She put the box down. “Well, it’s a fine job with the magnet, if that’s what you’re asking. Your kindergarten teacher would be proud,” she said, patting him on the head comically. “But not so great for your pooping. We’ll see how you do on 2 of these daily, and increase it until we see a lot more happy faces on that chart! Make sure you keep track of your poops! Be sure you mark them on the calendar, because otherwise you might get too much fiber!” She patted him on the bottom, and turned toward their diaper cabinet. “Speaking of which, let’s get you ready for the day!” Something about that comment made him a little uncomfortable, but she ushered him onto the exam table and had him diapered before he could think about what it was. The day was fairly typical for them, busy and efficient. His wet diapers were changed, and not another word was uttered about fiber or pooping for the rest of the day. Within a few days, and after she increased his fiber once, he was able to add a happy-faced magnet to the chart, and was rewarded with a big smile from Julie. He grimaced, eager to avoid the subject. “I know, I know. You don’t want to talk about it. But if you get a few more of those in a row, we won’t need to increase the dose.” She patted him on his diapered bottom as he headed off to see patients. As they were getting ready to go home that day, after his final diaper change, he finally was able to verbalize what had been bugging him. “Julie, can I ask you a question?” he said as they were gathering up their things after the other staff had gone home. “What if…if the fiber works TOO well? You know, here at work?” She blinked at him. “What do you mean?” He blushed. “Well, you know, I’m all for regular bowel movements in theory, but what if we’re here, and I’m, you know, wearing a diaper…” He looked at her meaningfully, but was met with silence. “And…” she prompted, appearing not to understand. Damn it, he thought. She was going to make him say it out loud. “And I need to…” He realized she would not want him to use a medical term. “…poop, here at work. I just want to make sure we’re both…clear…on the fact that there is NO way I’m going to do…that…in my diaper. I’ll just go to the bathroom in that case. I just don’t want you to be surprised or upset when I do. Maybe we could make it so I could tell you once I’m back that that’s why I went, or something.” His cheeks burned. This was ridiculous to talk about. Julie shook her head. “Sorry, no. Out of the question.” He stared at her. “Um…what is?” She stared. “You, using the potty. That’s not going to happen.” He stared back, unsure he had heard her correctly. Maybe she had misunderstood. “No, I mean, in case I should need to…you know…poop.” She appeared to relent, approaching him and laying her hand on his arm. “Sweetie, I heard what you said. I just meant that you aren’t going to be allowed to use the potty at all, even if you have to poop.” As she saw his face darken, she stroked his forearm to comfort him. “It took you five minutes to pee before diapers. Imagine how long it takes you to poop in there. I have waited on you, so I know. If it makes sense for you to use a diaper for peeing, it makes far more sense to wear it for pooping.” He was clearly not convinced, so she continued, “And then there would be the business of you trying to undo your diaper, then trying to refasten it correctly in the potty. That could be dangerous for leaks later.” Her lips pressed together, she shook her head sadly. “I’m sorry. I know you want to use the potty like a big boy when you poop, but I just cannot let that happen. It would be a disaster.” She picked up her purse, as if the conversation were over. But he couldn’t leave it there. He couldn’t let this stand as an agreement. She didn’t seem to understand what using a diaper that way would entail. “But…but…no, wait. But you don’t really want that, right? I mean, changing a wet diaper is one thing, but this would be…different. Gross, and horrible. I—I mean, right? Why would you want to do that?” He thought of something. “Maybe I could do it?” he asked hopefully. That would at least not be so humiliating. “Don’t be silly,” she said, turning to leave. “I’ve told you: I have nursing training, and mommy training. I know what it is like to change a poopy diaper, and I’m prepared to do it if it needs to be done.” Why was she so casual about all this? It made no sense. “But—but—the smell. People would know. I can’t—“ He was close to tears. Seeing this, she stopped. She saw that he couldn’t meet her gaze. She reached up and gently raised his chin so that their eyes met. She squeezed his hands firmly. “If it happens, we’ll manage. I’ll take care of it without anyone knowing, just like we do with your wet diapers. I won’t let anything bad happen. I promise.” She watched his face, seeing the uncertainty. She spoke again, and reached a hand up to one cheek. “Here’s how it would work. You are a big enough boy to tell when it will happen. If you feel like you need to poop, you just come and get me. You don’t have to wait until after it happens. You can interrupt me, and come back to this room. You can poop in here, and then we can change you immediately.” She released his chin, and he looked down. He swallowed. “Maybe we could also stop the fiber. It seems like—“ She cut him off. “Oh, no. We’re not compromising your health just because of your embarrassment.” She snorted softly and smiled. “That would be a bad precedent to set. And anyway, we’ve been doing that for a few days, and nothing bad has happened. I’m not giving you fiber to make you poop at work. I’m not bothered by messy diapers, but I don’t need more of them. You can keep doing that at home.” He was clearly not happy, but nodded and was quiet. She knew he’d be okay with it, just as he had agreed to wetting his diapers. He just needed time. But she needed to be careful with how she handled the next week or two, as he would be fragile emotionally. He was surprised when she drew him into a tight hug. She held him for a full minute. Initially shocked, he realized it felt really good. He felt her reassurance, realized that he needed it, and hugged her back. In fact, it was hard for him not to cry. She was so nice, wasn’t she? She also smelled good. Nice and familiar. She felt him return her hug, and heard him sigh. Holy cow, that was sweet. That kind of emotional connection was definitely one of the major highs she got from mothering. And so soon! She finally released him. “Look, if you poop at work, we’ll get through it. No big deal. Then we’ll go back to kicking some medical ass.” She smiled, and turned to leave. He picked up his bag, and headed out. He couldn’t remember feeling so close to someone. Could he trust her that much? It was scary. But she felt like someone who really could take care of him. Chapter 12 Two weeks later, his calendar was nearly solid happy faces. He was taking 3 fiber caps daily, and he found it fairly easy to have at least a small bowel movement daily. He had not had any work-place disasters, which is how he still felt about the prospect of moving his bowels at work, despite Julie’s reassurances. But it hadn’t even come up. He was feeling less worried now, and didn’t mind the fiber if it made Julie happy. Julie had also noticed his comfort level. They hadn’t changed his dose for a week, so she felt it was safe to make her move. If he had to poop at work, he wouldn’t specifically blame the fiber. It was a Wednesday, which meant a lighter patient load. They’d have some extra time, and they would need it. After lunch, he climbed onto the changing table for her to change his wet diaper. They chatted about the upcoming afternoon, and she marveled how natural a diaper change was for him now. She treasured this intimacy, learned as a mother and miraculously replicated in her workplace. She was about to deepen that relationship. He lifted his legs for her to clean him, and she cleaned him as usual. However, this afternoon, when she poked her finger inside of his bottom, she also deftly popped in a small suppository. She smiled as he kept talking straight through the procedure, completely unaware of her secret gift. She quickly diapered him again, allowing him to sit up and pull up his pants. She watched him closely, but he clearly had not noticed. From the very beginning, she had prepared him for this day, desensitizing him to anal penetration, and she was elated at how easy it was to deceive him. As she watched him settle to finish a few computer tasks before seeing their first patient, she was tempted to feel a little sorry for him for what lay ahead for him this afternoon. She regretted not being able to be honest, but sometimes men—especially her man—needed a little push. This was necessary to take their relationship to the next level. He was seeing his second patient of the afternoon when he became aware of some pressure in his bowels. He suppressed any concern he felt about this development, thinking it was likely to be gas, or perhaps something that he could wait through. But within ten minutes he was forced to admit that this feeling might be more insistent than he had expected. This was very unusual. His bathroom habits were typically subject to whenever he had time for them, and never urgent. But he felt…full, and was starting to get some cramping. He finished up with his patient, and debated whether he should see his next patient, whom Julie had already brought back and put in a room for him. He didn’t like the distraction that his discomfort was causing, but this was outweighed by the horrible embarrassment that he would suffer if he admitted to Julie that he had to move his bowels. He had no doubts about her desire to make him go in his diaper. Despite her assurances that she didn’t mind changing him, he had to doubt this. No one could enjoy changing a messy diaper. He had admitted to himself that he had a big crush on her. He couldn’t bear to have her see him with a dirty diaper. How did he ever stand a chance of dating her if he let her change a messy diaper? He decided that he would trust his ability to control himself rather than give in to the mounting need to poop. This next visit seemed interminable, however, both because of the increasing intensity of the pressure and also because of the nature of the discussion, which ironically concerned a young woman’s problem with frequent diarrhea. While he had quickly determined her problem to be irritable bowel syndrome, her description of her bathroom habits was not helping to distract him from his own needs. He found himself wondering if Julie would forgive him if he dashed to the bathroom just this once. She might not ever know, after all, if he was quick and managed to tape the diaper back the way it was. He had admittedly never tried, but how hard could it be? He started sweating, trying not to have an accident as he stood up to examine his patient. It took all of his concentration, and he found it difficult to string coherent sentences together as they discussed the plan for this young woman. As he rose to escort her to the exam room door, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out any longer. He was going to need to poop in the next few seconds. He decided that he didn’t want to face Julie in this condition—it wasn’t manly or attractive or professional. She would have to wait to change a messy diaper. Feeling desperate and ready to run to the bathroom, he opened the door to the hallway. The patient left the room, and he followed. Almost free! Turning left out of the exam room, toward the bathroom, he literally ran right into Julie, who was standing just outside the door. It almost looked like she had been waiting for him, though she could have just been passing by. But she now stood between him and the bathroom, and he let out a little moan at the sight of her. He quickly stepped to the side, hoping she would pass. He might still get to the bathroom if she kept going and he pretended he needed something in the other direction. But she didn’t pass. She took a step to the side also, blocking his path again. She raised her eyebrows, locked his eyes with hers, and imperceptibly shook her head. She pointed behind him to their work room. When he stood still, panicked, wondering if she could possibly know how much distress he was in, she gently took his elbow and turned him toward her desired destination. No! He couldn’t let her do this. He was about to have a major BM, and it might even be diarrhea. He couldn’t let her witness that. He tried to turn back, but she gave him a firm maternal glance that somehow told him she knew exactly what he was trying to do and that he shouldn’t even think about it. Instead, she nudged him toward the room. He needed to plead with her, but couldn’t do it in the hallway. He quickly strode toward their work room, hoping he could hold for another minute. He reached the room and turned around. Julie was following, but appeared to be taking her time. Suddenly a cramp hit him, and he doubled over. He was able to control himself, but realized it would probably be obvious to Julie what was happening. She reached the room and closed the door behind her as he started to straighten up. He saw her pause to lock the door as well, and again felt the panic rise in him. “Julie, please. PLEASE let me go to the bathroom. Just this once,” he panted, holding his stomach. “Don’t be silly. If you need to poop, then do it. We have a few minutes before the next patient, but not long. It would be best to get this over with now.” He gasped. “But—you don’t understand—this is bad. It—it is bad!” She shook her head in consternation. “Then why are you holding it in? There is no need to be so miserable or dramatic.” He was almost to the point of despair. He had iron intestines, but even he had his limits. “No…” She almost smiled. What he didn’t know, and couldn’t know, since he was unaware of the suppository, was that every moment he delayed meant that the effect of the glycerin would be greater and more volcanic. The only thing that would have defeated her plan was if he had immediately expelled the suppository before it could irritate the intestinal membranes. However, because his most fervent wish was not to let anything out of his anus, he was making it much, much worse. His embarrassment was the key to making this plan so effective. But she didn’t smile. She delivered the next line, long practiced and considered, with what appeared to be the utmost concern for his comfort. “I wonder if a lot of that cramping you’re having is from gas. Maybe you could just try to let some of the gas out and feel more comfortable.” She could have cried at the naïve glimmer of hope she saw spark in his eyes at that moment. God bless him, he believed her. Only a man without much experience with diarrhea could have thought this feat possible. Without saying a word, he moved a little away from her and looked away. What happened next would be burned into both of their memories forever. She saw a passing look of concentration, then the emergence of horror on his face. He choked off a short cry, squatted, and let loose a large amount of soft stool into his diaper. It went on and on, and she just stood quietly near the door, watching. He was, of course, consumed with the process, and had given himself over to the full completion of the task. The room quieted, but slowly became filled with the smell of his act. After a moment, his breathing seemed to become regular again, and she gently crossed the room to him. She touched his shoulder, and asked, “Do you think you’re done? Or is there some more poop in there?” He couldn’t answer, or even look at her. She moved so that she was in his line of sight. “Are you done?” Once his eyes refocused on her, he nodded numbly. She smiled. “Then let’s get you into a nice clean diaper. Come over to your changing table.” She grasped his hand and led him toward the table. He waddled gingerly, slowly, and she could see him trying not to let the contents of the diaper touch his skin. Of course, this was futile, but she understood the need to try. His expression soured as he felt the effects of the suppository coat the skin under his diaper. When he had reached the table, she said, “Ok. Pants down, hop up!” Then she caught herself, and said, “Well, maybe not hop.” He positioned himself to ease himself up onto the table, then stopped. “Would you please let me do this myself? It’s…disgusting.” “Nonsense. Pooping is just a natural part of living. Now get up there so we can get you cleaned up. This is advanced diaper-changing and you would be…outmatched. I can do this far faster than you.” And she really didn’t mind. Babysitting jobs throughout high school–not to mention family members in diapers–had kept her changing diapers much of the time. During and after nursing school, she became comfortable with the medical side of caring for grown men, and she had realized that young or old, men often needed her hands to be gentle at some times and firm at others. Her motherhood of young boys had only seemed to reinforce that. She wasn’t put off by the cleanup, and actually found that changing a diaper was one of the more intimate experiences she could have with a male. It was one her first experiences in being in charge. How could she not enjoy that? He sighed, and discovered that he could not really get up on the table without sitting right in the middle of his mess. As he uneasily settled himself onto the table, his expression mirrored the disgust he felt, and she noticed. “It’s okay,” she soothed. “We’ve done this a hundred times. It’s no different to me. Just lie back.” He couldn’t really respond. His mind was consumed with the horrible sensation of warm squish. He wanted to escape, but he felt caught, like a fly in a web. Not having any better options, he sighed, and gently reclined, feeling movement under him as he shifted weight. Once he was down, Julie let out her breath and put on some vinyl gloves. The hard part was over. Now she had to make it—as promised—easier than changing himself. She smiled as he reflexively let his knees fall apart, showing her the discolored diaper he wore. She untaped him, and pulled open the front of his diaper, immediately instructing him, “Up.” As he pulled his knees up, she took the diaper and efficiently wiped the bulk of his mess off of him, rolling it as she went. A few wipes later, and he was clean. She removed the dirty diaper and placed a clean one under him, powdering and taping him quickly. Within 2 minutes he was sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the table as if nothing had happened. Julie disposed of the diaper as he dressed himself. She caught him as he was trying to turn away, toward the door. She stood in his way and waited for their eyes to meet. Still ashamed and wanting the experience as far in the past as he could make it, he couldn’t escape her gaze. When he caught sight of her raised eyebrows, he intuited her meaning quickly and now felt bad that he hadn’t said what needed to be said. “Thank you,” he said softly, staring at the floor. He felt her lift his chin again, which made him feel like a little kid. But for some reason he allowed this, and once she held his gaze, heard her say, “That wasn’t so bad, and I don’t think it is gross. If it happens again, please man up and let me change you, okay?” He was silent, his emotions muddled and his mind spinning. How could she not hate what just happened? He wanted her to think of him as a man, not a baby. But she was equating being a man with letting her change his dirty diaper. He was finding it hard to come to terms with what their relationship was. Shouldn’t it be employer/employee? It seemed more like mother/child. She couldn’t really be attracted to him at this point. Not after that. Of course, he felt grateful to her for making him feel better when he had felt terrible, and for not humiliating him about it. It could have been much worse, but she had been so kind. But he was deeply infatuated with her, and wanted to spend time with her. He lusted for her and loved her hands on him. He respected her intelligence and clinical skills. He wanted to be manly around her, to take her and kiss her, but she seemed to want him to be more passive and childlike. And—if he was honest—that did feel like the more natural role for him in this relationship. She was so strong and certain. It felt right to let her be in charge. She saw the thoughts whirling through his brain, and sensed a lot of internal conflict. What could she do to help? What did he need more than anything right now? Probably acceptance. Impulsively, she drew close and put her arms around him, holding him warmly and tightly, as she had first done two weeks ago. She felt his body stiffen for a moment, then relax a bit, then she felt his arms around her, too. She smiled. Chapter 13 He was tense the next few days, unsure how Julie would act toward him, worried that he would have more diaper disasters or that he couldn’t trust his bowels. But everything with her seemed back to normal to him. Julie was nice, and, though he was sensitive to any change in how she talked to him or looked at him, their relationship didn’t seem to have changed. He relaxed a little, breathing easier when each afternoon progressed without those horrible cramps. He was reassured that his system seemed back to normal. It didn’t seem to be the fiber, he realized. He was moving his bowels daily, but mostly at home in the morning, where he could go in private, just as he wanted it. His accident must have been a fluke. These days at work were really great. He’d gotten over the weirdness of wearing a diaper, which was still bizarre, of course. He was wetting his diaper much more instinctively now. Sometimes he wasn’t even aware of it, and was surprised when Julie would surreptitiously cup his crotch and then raise her eyebrows at the heavy dampness. He was enough used to a wet diaper that he didn’t mind it much. That was bizarre too, when he thought about it. But he was kind of enjoying not focusing on when he wet. It seemed like he really ought to take advantage of the perk to wearing diapers, right? And no one but Julie knew about it. It was their secret, as far as he could tell. They worked like a team, and the work burden seemed so much lighter. He got home earlier, and was less tired when he did so. While her methods were unusual, and he could never tell anyone about their agreement, he couldn’t argue with her results. He did have a surprise outside of work that week, however. Before he left each day, when he was on the changing table for the last time, Julie would ask him, “Do you want me to put a clean diaper on you to go home in? Or do you just want to wear your underpants home?” It seemed like a weird question each and every time she asked it. While he had conceded to the infantile garb at work, there was no logic to why he would want to wear a diaper outside of work. He had asked her one evening why she would give him a choice he so obviously wouldn’t take. She shrugged and smiled, as if she were just being accommodating, as if some people might actually answer yes. He shook his head, amused. It was one thing to use a diaper for a specific, noble purpose like he was doing, he thought. It would be another simply to choose to wear one on his off time. But as he stood in line at the grocery store a few nights later, he became aware of a curious warmth in his pants. He thought he was leaning against something warm, but then he felt trickling down his leg. He looked down, startled, and realized he had wet his pants, something he hadn’t done in 30 years. He moved closer to the counter, shielding himself from view, then later held the grocery bags in front of him to preserve his dignity. He made it to the car without anyone seeing, he thought. But it drove home an important point: maybe there actually was a downside to mindlessly wetting his diaper. He had to discipline himself to control his bladder carefully, even at work, when he didn’t technically have to, or this could become a slippery slope that led to his needing to answer Julie’s nightly question differently. During the following week, things were going so well at work that he again started pondering the idea of asking Julie out. He still wasn’t sure about the wisdom of such a move, but he was becoming more infatuated by the day. There was something about the gentle efficiency of their interaction, the confidence of her work with patients and, honestly, with his needs, that made him feel like he wanted to see more of her outside of work. At work, she always had his back. He longed for that feeling outside of work as well. That afternoon, she again spent a few moments longer than needed touching him after the patients had gone. He had gotten used to the idea that it was just a nice reward for a good day’s work, and that she would never take it so far as he’d like. But maybe if they weren’t at work… As they were leaving the office, he couldn’t help himself. “Would you ever have time to grab some dinner?” She stopped suddenly, surprise on her face. He reddened when she didn’t respond right away. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I—I just meant…” He didn’t really know how to excuse his proposition. He felt her hand on his arm. “No, it’s okay,” she said warmly, smiling brilliantly at him. “I just can’t believe it took you so long. I would LOVE to have dinner with you.” He exhaled. She’d said yes! “…But I’m afraid that it might be hard to go out to a restaurant. My kids need to eat too, and I’d feel bad about asking Mom to sit for them into the evening. Maybe you could come over sometime and we could eat at my house? You could meet the little guys. I know it’s not romantic, but it is about the best I can do right now.” He nodded vigorously. He’d heard a lot about the boys, and was so thrilled to get to see her that he would have done about anything. She would check her calendar about a workable date. He drove home elated. She’d expected him to ask her out! He hadn’t misread their relationship. And somehow, for some reason, changing his diaper every single day hadn’t diminished her romantic interest in him. That seemed too amazing to believe. The next afternoon, he felt a gentle rumbling in his gut that normally meant he needed to visit the bathroom. It wasn’t urgent, like the other day, however. He plowed onward, seeing patients, feeling a fullness, but nothing he couldn’t handle. It was a very busy day, with his schedule packed. He had added some appointments into the evening to accommodate the demand. This was a bottleneck point in the day, as sometimes happened. He had a complicated patient who needed labs, some referrals, and an EKG. Julie had gotten stuck helping the patient in the room, and hadn’t been able to bring any other patients back for him. He looked for another patient to see, and, seeing none, found himself wandering back toward the other end of the building. He hadn’t specifically meant to, but realized he was outside the staff restroom. He hadn’t been here in nearly a month. As he stared at it thoughtfully, his intestines complained again. He glanced back down the hallway toward his empty workstation. Would Julie mind? Would she even know? Probably not—she was swamped. Certainly if he took care of his bodily functions on his own, especially this afternoon when they were so busy, it would help them both out. Why not? The clincher was that, looking forward to their “date”, the last thing he wanted was for Julie to have a fresh memory of changing another dirty diaper. He quickly ducked inside the bathroom and locked the door. He lowered his khakis, then fumbled with the tapes on the diaper. He carefully pulled them off, and was pleased to see that while they stretched the plastic, they hadn’t ripped it. This was going well—maybe he could do this from time to time and never have to have Julie change another dirty diaper! He rushed a bit, conscious of the need for efficiency. When he stood up again, he found that re-taping the diaper might be the hardest part. He clenched his legs together, holding the diaper roughly in place, then re-affixed the tapes in what he hoped was similar to their prior locations. He pulled up his pants, washed his hands, and rushed back down the hall. He got back in plenty of time to greet Julie as she was leaving the patient’s room, looking harried. She was focused, as always, on her work duties, and he smiled at his decision. If he was smart, he could make this work, limiting their interactions to wet diapers, and avoiding any messy ones. He was happy with himself and relieved to have avoided further humiliation, but felt hesitant about sharing that good idea with Julie. The fact that he couldn’t talk to Julie about it gnawed a little at him, but he put it out of his mind. They worked hard for the rest of the afternoon, then finished the early evening in rapid fashion. He did need a diaper change later in the afternoon, and though Julie frowned a bit as she confronted his doctored diaper, she didn’t ask any questions. As usual, their teamwork had dispatched a huge workload quickly and efficiently. However, due to the extra appointments, they were still the last two staff in the office. As they finished their tasks on the computer, Julie turned to him, and wearily said, “Okay, time to get changed for home.” She seemed a little less chipper than usual, but it had been a very long day. He obediently unbuckled and hopped up on the table as she locked the door. Despite the fact that no one else was in the office, he gratefully noticed that Julie took no chances. She had his diaper off, and his bottom wiped in a moment. She didn’t really tease him much today, but maybe she was really tired. She tossed the wet diaper and retreated to her workstation. He swung his legs off the table and leaned down to pull up his pants. She interrupted him. “Could you…leave those down for just a moment?” He stood up, a little perplexed. His shirttails covered his nakedness, but his pants and boxers were still around his ankles. Usually at this point, she was washing her hands and gathering her things to leave. Tonight, though, she was sitting at her desk, turned toward him, and wasn’t quite meeting his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked. She took a deep breath, then blew it out. “We need to talk.” She met his eyes. “Did you make a poop today?” He could feel his cheeks start to burn. She couldn’t possibly know. He just had to play it cool. “Not at work.” Her face fell. She looked disappointed. “Well, that’s not what two different nurses told me. They saw you go into the potty for about five minutes this afternoon. They said it seemed unusual to them, since it almost never happens these days.” She gave him a wry smile. “They don’t know anything, but they still could tell you shouldn’t have been back there.” He stood still, unaware of how ridiculous he looked with his pants down. He was trying to think how to explain his presence in the bathroom. “Well, that’s true. I did go back to the bathroom, but that was to clean my tie. It was after lunch, and I’d spilled something on it.” She frowned a little. “And there was something in the potty you specifically needed? We have sinks and mirrors in all of the exam rooms.” He paled a little, but decided to stick with this story. It was as good as he was going to get. She shook her head sadly. “I guess I could have predicted it would come to this at some point. Look, I already know you went back there to poop on the potty. I noticed that your diaper had been removed and replaced, and I figured that it happened during that nightmare of a patient we had this afternoon.” Her lips pursed. “So we have a problem.” His gaze had fallen to the floor. He’d been caught. At this point he couldn’t think of anything to say. “There are several issues I have with this…situation. One is that you went back to poop on the potty, wasting time that could have been spent on patients.” He protested, explaining that he thought he was making good use of the time. She cut him off. “No, it was wasting time. You could have asked another nurse to bring a patient back, or been working on phone calls and other tasks. You can’t replace a diaper as fast as I can. You know that.” His mouth hung open a little. He shut it self-consciously. Good points, all. “Two is that you broke your promise. We had a system worked out together, and were working as a team. You decided on your own, without discussion with me, your work partner, that you knew better, even though we had specifically talked about this exact situation.” Now he was really starting to feel guilty. They were a good team. He had learned to value that. Maybe— But she was not done. “Finally, you lied to me. You stood right there a moment ago and lied about having pooped on the potty. This is the hardest for me to take. I…felt like we were…” She broke off, apparently unable to finish. She stared at the floor for a moment. He wondered if he should say something. But then she continued. “But now I don’t know how I can trust you.” She looked up at him. It looked like there were tears in her eyes. His heart melted. He felt terrible. He looked down, searching for something to say, and noticed that his pants were still bunched up around his ankles. This was not a comfortable way to have a talk about their budding relationship. He glanced up at her and gestured to his pants. “Um…may I…?” She shook her head slightly. Her voice had regained some control. “No, not yet, if you don’t mind.” He folded his hands in front of his waist. He suddenly felt awkward in front of her. Why was she keeping him half naked in front of her? Then she cleared her throat and spoke. “What do you have to say for yourself?” He looked up at her blankly. “Um, well…” He thought for a moment. May as well be honest at this point. “You were in a room, and we were clearly backed up. I felt the need to go to the bathroom, and I thought—“ “You mean, you felt like you needed to poop. You don’t have a need to go to a bathroom any more,” she corrected helpfully. He faltered. Why did he need to talk like a child? Whatever. “Okay, yes, I needed to…”go”. And I thought there was no way that you would have time under the circumstances, and that if I took care of it, it would help us get back on track. I was trying to help.” He smiled at her hopefully. Julie didn’t look convinced. “You mean, you don’t like pooping in your diaper, and you found a good excuse to run to the potty instead.” He nodded slowly. “Well, that, too. I…well, it’s embarrassing.” “Did you think it was fair for you to decide that all by yourself?” she asked, her eyebrows raised. He paused. This was the crux of it, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it his business? “Look, Julie, I decide things all day. Important things. It’s part of my job.” She eyed him. “Yes, you do. But not your potty business. When it comes to your pooping and peeing, that’s my job. We decided that together. It’s part of what makes us a good team. You let me handle the things you don’t do well. Is there something about how I’ve treated you that hurt you or that you didn’t think was done well?” He was getting exasperated. “No, of course not. You…are wonderful. I love our time together. But…I don’t think that going to the bathroom in my diaper—especially that way—is masculine.” Now she looked frustrated, too. “’Going to the—oh, you think that pooping in your diaper, and letting me change you, makes you less of a man? I’ve told you that you are hung up with childhood impressions about diapers and bodily functions. It doesn’t matter to me at all. So when you say that this embarrasses you, I think that it ought to embarrass you more to have all those preconceived notions about using diapers for their intended purpose. I think you should grow up. What matters to me is being efficient, being honest, and taking good care of our patients. And you violated those things today, each and every one of them.” He stood silently, trying to absorb her words. Her weird perspective on diapers and changing him still baffled him, but he really liked her and was trying to understand. More than anything, he wanted to be able to work with her in the future, and, beyond that, to go out with her next week. All of this seemed in jeopardy right now. “Now, I will grant you that you were partially motivated to help me, and that is the only reason I am willing to look for some way past this terrible error in judgment. And I can only think of one way you could prove your commitment to me and to our team going forward. It would take great personal sacrifice, and—fittingly—would require you to let go of some childhood stereotypes.” He looked up. He had no idea what she was talking about. But if she was offering a way out of her doghouse, he was willing to take it. He was willing to do just about anything. But he was initially confused about what she proposed next. “If you really want to prove to me that you care for me, and for what we are doing here, I need to see a token of sacrifice from you.” He shook his head, trying to read the inscrutable expression on her face. But as she reached into her purse and brought out a compact but heavy-looking hairbrush, his eyes opened wide. She sat up straight, and smoothed her scrubs, then expectantly brought her eyes up to his. He stopped breathing as he realized what she was proposing. This was why she wanted him to keep his pants down. She wanted to spank him for going to the bathroom. Here, in his office. It was ridiculous. It took things too far. Yet there she sat, brush in hand. Was this real? Would she really do it? Of course she would; she’d changed his diaper a hundred times, for God’s sake. But he couldn’t let her do this—it would change their relationship, wouldn’t it? How would they work together? How could they date each other? He wanted to show his dedication to her, to work, to their patients, but not like this. “We—we—we can’t do this here,” he protested weakly, not able to verbalize anything else. “This is crazy.” Julie shook her head grimly. “No one else is here. The building is locked, and so is this door. We’re completely alone.” He looked around, a little panicked. Oh, crap. “But…I’m a…I’m your boss. It wouldn’t be right. Isn’t this, like, inappropriate?” She dipped her head and looked up at him sardonically. “Seriously? After everything else, you’re going to worry about sexual harassment? I don’t think anyone would blame you for going over my knee, or me for spanking you. What other arguments do you have on your list?” He started to sweat. “Julie, I don’t want to do this! If I let you do this, that changes us—this—our relationship. How could we work with each other again? I—how would we ever go out? How could we date each other? What kind of relationship could we have?” She laughed. “You don’t think some partners spank each other? I’ve got some websites for you, mister.” Then she became serious. “I think I understand. You’re worried that this changes our power dynamic, that I won’t be attracted to you if you give in to being punished by me?” He nodded, hands still clutched in front of himself. “But you’ve got it backward. I realize it will take tremendous strength of will and discipline for you, a fully grown man, and a doctor besides, to bend over my lap and take a spanking. It will symbolize that you trust my judgment. That you acknowledge that what you did was wrong, and that you are willing to sacrifice your dignity, not to mention putting up with a little pain,” she said with a wry smile. “If you agree to this deal, I’ll forgive you completely, because I’ll see your strength and devotion to your practice, your patients, and our agreement. I’ll see you’re sorry for your mistake, and willing to move forward with a clean slate. It takes a real man to choose this route.” He swallowed. He saw how she could offer such a thing. He could erase what he’d done if he could put up with this…deal. He met her eyes, and nodded. She was telling him that she’d forgive him, that they could still be together, go out on a date. She would still respect him. “I want…that,” he told her. She nodded briskly, and patted her lap. “Then let’s go, young man.” He stared at her lap, and considered once again whether he really wanted to take this step. He looked up at her face, which was firm, but which he’d learn to trust. She wouldn’t hurt him too bad, would she? She liked him. And how bad could a spanking hurt? He was a grown man, and she was just a woman. He shuffled forward, struggling to walk with his pants around his ankles. She pointed to the right side of her, and he moved to comply. A part of him felt like this was unreal, like it couldn’t really be happening. But there Julie was, helping him ease over her lap, telling him to hold his upper body off the floor. He felt his legs dangling helplessly in the air, then felt a cool breeze on his bottom. He assumed that was his shirttail being lifted. His suspicion was confirmed, as he felt Julie’s fingers run lightly over his bottom. He felt goosebumps form on his arms and legs. Suddenly, he felt quite vulnerable. And he remembered that it wasn’t just about embarrassment. Julie had said something about pain. He questioned his earlier assumption. Could it really hurt? He hoped it wouldn’t hurt that much. I mean, he reassured himself, it could mostly be a gesture. He was about to clarify when he heard a loud smack. A moment later he felt pain on his bottom. It wasn’t bad, and he was relieved. It hurt, but he could stand it. He heard, then felt another blow, this time to the other side. She was spanking on the lower part of his bottom, he realized and noted in some part of his brain. The spanks kept coming, and he could see how it could eventually become difficult to tolerate. So…how long would it last? The answer was, at least a few minutes, he discovered, though it was hard to tell. And then it stopped. He let out his breath. That could have been worse, he thought. It was more about the gesture. Sure, it was embarrassing, but it was tolerable. And now they could move forward and forget it. But she didn’t let him up. She shifted her weight, then shifted back. He felt something cold against his bottom, something hard and foreign, moving around, like it was soothing him. “I hope you didn’t mind that little warm-up. I have found that boys can take a longer spanking if there is a hand spanking first.” Trepidation seized him at that point. That was the warm-up? “Now let’s get down to business. I want you to count these off. Don’t lose track, or we’ll start again. We’ll stop when I think it’s time. You can be thinking about what led to this spanking, and how you’ll change in the future.” Suddenly, he heard a swat, and felt a searing pain in his backside, right where her hands had hit him before. But that was it, just one. He was sure that couldn’t be it— “I’m waiting for you to count, young man. Let’s start over.” SMACK! “One!” he spat out quickly. But as soon as he’d said it, another came down, now on the other side. SMACK! This took his breath away. He yelled, “Two!” quickly, before he’d even recovered, but then realized that as soon as he’d said it, she struck again. He felt trapped: he dare not wait too long and get her angry, but he didn’t want to count too quickly. It became a game of seeing just how slowly he could count. Before he’d counted to twenty, he was having trouble concentrating on the numbers. He couldn’t control her strokes, even though he desperately wanted this to stop. He feared having to start over again, so he yelled out numbers. In between spanks, he would hear her voice sometimes, asking if he would ever lie to her again. Would he ever poop on the potty at work again? Would he ever break his promises again? He blurted out answers, then tried to say the number, trying to make her happy with him. It didn’t seem to matter what he said, however, as the paddling continued. But he eventually started to hear another noise in between the numbers, which he couldn’t control. He realized that he was crying. He couldn’t really say numbers anymore, but it didn’t seem to matter. Julie was strong, and kept going, long past his tolerance for pain. He ended up wailing and crying loudly, for what seemed like a long time. Eventually, mercifully, the spanking stopped. He heard the brush set down on the counter somewhere behind him. He tried to stop crying, but couldn’t, not right away. She helped him up, and took him in her arms. It was just what he needed. He cried softly for a few moments, murmuring, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She cooed back at him, saying, “I know, I know. You’re a good boy,” quietly into his ear. She stroked his back until he had gotten his breathing under control. He sniffled a little bit, and eventually felt like the hug had gone on long enough. He pulled away a little, and she leaned back from him, reaching a tissue for him. He gratefully took it and wiped his face and his nose. Julie helped him stand up, and sent him to the corner of the room with a nod and her pointer finger. He didn’t mind. He didn’t want to face her in this state. Standing in the corner helped him compose himself privately, which he needed. “Hands on your head, please,” she told him as he shuffled awkwardly to the corner. He heard her clicking on her computer, and then heard her chair scrape the floor. After a few minutes, he heard her voice. “Okay, you can be done. Turn around.” He turned around shyly, letting his arms fall. She was right there, and she was leaning down in front of him. She grasped his pants and pulled them up, helping him tuck his shirt in, and buckling his belt. She handed him his laptop bag, and reached for her purse, which he now saw was certainly large enough to carry her brush. Did she do that every day? Did she always have that brush? Then she extended her hand, and led him silently out of the office. When they got to their cars, she kissed him on the cheek and said, “You did well tonight, you know. Let’s hope that never happens again.” He looked at her, and earnestly told her, “It won’t.” She smiled warmly. “I’m glad to hear you say that. But if it does, you can expect to be over my lap again. See you tomorrow, okay? Be good.” His bottom burned like crazy, and did hurt quite a bit as he tried to get into his car. He was sure he didn’t ever want to endure something like that again. If she wanted to change his dirty diapers, that was fine with him, just as long as she didn’t bring out that brush again. Anything was better than that. And yet, he reflected on the way home, he somehow felt so much closer to her. He felt grateful to her for offering a route back to her after his bad decision. He felt forgiven and cleansed in a way. It had been a surprisingly intimate experience for something that did not involve sex. He marveled over this. But thank goodness it was over. He went to bed early that night, at least in part because it was easier to lie down than to sit up. He realized then why she had focused so intently so low on his bottom: she knew how to make the discomfort last. She’d gone after the place he sat on. And—indeed—he kept thinking of her all evening. He slept easily, feeling exhausted. The next morning, there lingered an extra closeness between the two of them. He had felt that before with a woman, but only after sex with a partner. They had shared something special, and though he never wanted to share it again, he almost understood why she had done it. All anger seemed forgotten, and all animosity had disappeared. When she changed his diaper, he felt her touch his bottom tenderly, then whistle. “Wow, what happened back here?” she said coyly, giving him a sidelong glance. She rubbed in some lotion to the sore, red, bruised skin, and this felt wonderful. Once he was rediapered, as he was pulling up his slacks, she broached the subject of spanking again. “I know it hurt, but there’s an advantage to a spanking, you know?” He stared at her. “I’m sorry?” he said, unsure he’d heard her correctly. “Oh, yes. It is a wonderful way to clear the air, I’ve found. Spanking is my preferred way to settle scores. It is so much better than letting disagreements stew, arguing for days. Can you see how nice it is to move on with no hard feelings?” He stood for a minute, silent. He enjoyed this new closeness, and certainly didn’t want to argue about this if it would complicate things. And…she was right, to some degree. He wasn’t sure it was the only way to move on, but he was glad not to have to revisit his mistake from yesterday. “Yes, I guess so. But…it doesn’t mean I liked it. I…don’t ever want to do that again.” She smiled. “No problem. Just behave yourself, okay?” She patted him on the bottom and sat down to work, satisfied that he had accepted her disciplinary authority, and that he had essentially agreed to accept it in the future. The conversation made him a little nervous, as he considered the possibility of having to face Julie’s hairbrush again. But he didn’t argue with her. It obviously was effective, and had brought them closer together and allowed them to move on. He thought he understood why she liked it. He was still sore. The next few days he was tender, even with the diaper, and every time he sat down, he thought of Julie. Again and again, he swore never to disobey her again. Chapter 14 He made sure he was extra good that week. He didn’t need to move his bowels at work again for another week, and he was hoping it wouldn’t ever happen again. But on a Friday, just after lunch, he felt a lot of pressure, and his hopes sank. He was talking to one of his partners, and he ended the conversation and looked around furtively. He really needed to go to the bathroom, but—Julie wouldn’t like it. He walked tentatively up to their workroom, and, catching her eye, approached her. “Hey, um. I…think I’m going to need…” He trailed off, still embarrassed about the whole thing. He wanted to do this right, but how could he tell her, and have her change him? It was just so awkward. She stared at him for only a moment, but then completed his sentence. “…to poop?” His surprised expression made her smile. “It wasn’t hard to figure out, you know. You haven’t had a poop for a few days,” she said, gesturing at the magnet chart they still used to modify his fiber intake. “And it’s after lunch. My little boys at home usually go after a meal.” His face reddened and he stared at the floor. “Um, well, I wanted to let you know, ‘cause…” She touched his arm. “Because you didn’t want another spanking? That’s a good boy,” she quietly said, pleased. She shrugged. “Well, have at it. We have a few minutes before patients arrive for the afternoon.” She patted his front, which no longer shocked him, and noted that he had already wet, so he was due for a change anyway. He was surprised. He once again hadn’t remembered peeing. He had meant to work on making that more voluntary, something he tried to do, rather than letting it happen. But this time, he wasn’t even aware of it! Right now, however, there were more important things to worry about. Julie went back to work at her computer, apparently leaving him to do his business right there. He hesitated, again reluctant to use his diaper in front of her. Not for this. Not if he could help it, right? He turned to leave. Maybe he could use one of the exam rooms. They were built for privacy. “Where are you going, mister? I thought you had to poop.” If he could have colored any more, he would have. “Uh—well, I just thought I’d duck into one of the exam rooms…” But Julie was already shaking her head. “Oh, no you don’t. You can’t go stinking up one of our patient rooms. We’re going to use those rooms. If you’ve got to go, you can do it right here.” Now he paled. “In front of you? I can’t.” She looked at him. “Really? You did it the other day. You’re wearing pants AND a diaper. I can’t see you do it! What’s the big deal?” He was dumbstruck. Did she really not have the same sense of shame that most people had, or did she like embarrassing him? “I don’t want to…do it…in front of someone else. It’s embarrassing.” Julie shrugged and went back to working. “Poop, or don’t poop. But I’ve got work to do, so if you’re going to poop, it will be right in this room with me here. Get over it.” A cramp struck him. He looked at the clock. “Please, Julie,” he heard himself whining, somewhat childishly. Suddenly she gave him a stern look, and he couldn’t help glancing at her purse. Did she have her brush today? “Never mind…” he murmured. The corner of her mouth twitched, and she went back to her work. He walked away from her, trying to get behind her and as far away within the room as he could. It was hard to imagine himself being alone, hard to go standing up. It was just weird. But if that was what Julie wanted, he would make her happy. He squatted a little, trying not to make any noise. He couldn’t help a little grunt, however, as he successfully accomplished his task. He felt the diaper push out, and then could feel the mess against his skin. He was consumed with how gross that felt, and didn’t notice Julie pushing back her chair and walking over to him. “Let’s get that taken care of right away, okay?” she said lightly, all business. He waddled carefully over to the exam bed and lowered his pants gently. A horrible smell came wafting up, and he noticed that she had thoughtfully already closed and locked the door. He lay back and allowed her to change him. It was a much faster process than the previous messy diaper, which had been all over the place. He watched her carefully for signs of disgust or impatience, but saw none. It was almost like she really didn’t mind! Before long he was in a clean, dry diaper—a feeling he was now growing to like. Julie was washing her hands, and he thanked her. “No problem,” she said, seemingly happily. “You’ve been a very good boy today.” At the end of the day, she changed him out of his diaper, and said, “I think that we might finally have a day we could have you over for dinner, if you’re still interested.” “Yes, please!” he exclaimed happily, in a voice he realized was probably a little too loud. Who cared? This was great. They set a date about two weeks later. She’d make supper, and maybe he’d bring some wine. It sounded good to him. He’d get to meet her young boys. Then they’d put them to bed, and…who knew? Almost whistling on his way home, he again thought back to the bizarre turn his life had taken. It was so, so weird, but Julie somehow made it feel right. He didn’t mind wearing the diaper for her at work anymore. He wasn’t sure it all made sense, but he had a hot, smart nurse making his days easier, and touching him in all the right places. He really needed to move this relationship along. He had waited a long time to be with her. It didn’t even occur to him to ask her about not wearing diapers any more. It was what she wanted. Maybe it was better for their patient care, but somewhere inside, he was starting to recognize that her happiness was becoming more and more of a priority. When she smiled, it made him feel wonderful. He was leaving a friend’s house the next night after watching a basketball game, stopping to check his phone, when it happened again. He felt hot liquid rushing down his leg, and had some difficulty stopping it. He felt his sock dampen! He hurriedly got into his car and headed home, grateful it hadn’t happened in front of someone. He was no longer sure he could fix this while working at the office. He started to doubt whether he could control himself at all. Monday, he casually mentioned to Julie at the end of the day that wearing the diaper at work had had an unintended consequence of making him less aware when he urinated. She broke into a smile. “Great! I told you there would be perks.” His face clouded a little. “Yeah, but it’s not a perk when it also happens outside the office.” Her smile faded. “Oh. You mean…have you had accidents?” She tried to look concerned. He didn’t answer, but she could read his expression. She sat down. “Oh,” she said again, more to herself. “Well, that’s a problem. How many times?” “Two,” he replied honestly. “I don’t think anyone saw, but they weren’t just little leaks. So, I’m wondering if you have any ideas about how to keep that from happening.” He pointed to the magnet chart. “I mean, you’re good at solving problems like this, I’d bet. Is there anything I can do here at the office to keep that from happening at home? Do you think Kegel exercises would work?” Obviously, Julie did not want to seem gleeful about this development, but that was truly how she felt. She’d been wondering–hoping, really–that something like this would happen, and it opened opportunities to evolve their relationship sooner than she could have expected. She had to seem concerned for him, however. “Would it? There is no harm in trying, obviously, but it doesn’t seem like it is a problem of muscle weakness. More like behavioral training? You’ve allowed yourself to relax your bladder, and now you’re not paying much attention to it.” She chanced a smile. “It does sound nice not having to worry about such things. Most people would probably envy you.” She continued, “But. You could certainly try the Kegels. Until we see whether they help when you are away from work, however, I think we should consider another option.” She looked hesitant. “I’m not sure you want to hear this, but there are straightforward ways to handle wetting problems like this.” He looked confused, so she gave him a little more info, hoping he’d figure it out. “You know, there are millions of people with leakage problems. You see some of them as patients. How do you tell them to handle it?” “Well, they ought to wear protection until they can….” He trailed off. He couldn’t meet her eyes, as he said, somewhat dully, “You want me to wear a diaper at home, too?” Time to make the case. “It doesn’t matter what I want. But I think you might need to wear a diaper when you go out. What a disaster if a patient saw an accident! What kind of advertisement would that be for you and your practice? I think from a business perspective, just until you have the accidents under control, you don’t really have a choice.” He looked doubtful but concerned as he sat at his computer. He could use some reassurance. She got up and came over to him, sitting next to him and touching his arm. “Look, your diaper is invisible to everyone else. You know that. You and I are the only ones who know about it. It is a personal solution that no one has to know about. It might be embarrassing to you, but you are certainly accustomed to it at this point, and it works. It only makes sense, for a little while, at least.” He nodded. “I know that, logically. It’s just so humiliating. It seems ridiculous for a grown man.” Julie smiled to herself, but was careful not to let that show. It certainly was absurd! He was an adult who had let himself be convinced by her to wet and mess in a diaper, at his workplace! He had let her spank him, not for some sexy game, but for discipline. He had shaved himself and let her clean him, count his bowel movements, and restrict him from using a toilet. He had let himself be led down this path every step of the way. She decided that she could help him here, too. “Nonsense,” she said, stroking his arm. “Being an adult is taking care of your problems. And it only impresses me more that you’d be willing to take such a responsible step.” She paused, thinking. “Why don’t we just send you home in a diaper each evening, and you can change out of it when you are done being out and about? You certainly don’t need to wear it at home, do you? Have you had an accident at home?” He shook his head. Thank goodness. “Fine, then. And if you did, you’d be in private anyway. That’s where you can practice keeping your pants dry. And things will be better before you know it!” She got a perfunctory smile out of him, which was probably about what she could expect here, so she considered it a done deal. Part of him had to know that increasing the amount of time he spent in diapers wouldn’t help his “problem”, right? But he didn’t say anything. She was sure he really didn’t like the diapers, so she wasn’t sure why he was so agreeable to this “solution”. Maybe he was just too naïve and optimistic for his own good. And maybe he trusted her. That was good for him in the long run, but not if he had any interest in fixing this “problem.” She stood up, finished with her work, and said, “When you’re done we can get you changed.” He finished a note and hopped up on the exam table, still deep in thought about his bladder issue. She changed him, this time putting a fresh diaper on him instead of sending him out in his grown-up attire. He noticed and looked a bit glum. Maybe she could perk him up a bit. “We’re still on for Friday dinner, right?” This broke him out of his funk. “Yes! Of course. Um, did you decide for sure what I can bring?” he asked, knowing that he was not really in much of a position to help. He wasn’t much of a cook. Perhaps sensing this, she said, “How about a nice loaf of bread in addition to the wine? We’ll have spaghetti. It’s the boys’ favorite.” That cheered him up, and she was happy to see him leave on a happy note. As they walked together to their cars, she noted the little diaper waddle he had and thought happily that it was the first time she had seen that outside the office. That was progress! Chapter 15 Friday night, he showed up at Julie’s house wearing slacks and a button-down shirt, more casual than work, but still looking nice, he hoped. He was also wearing the diaper she had changed him into before they left that afternoon. She had made it clear that it might be best if he kept it on for his visit to her house. “Oh, you might as well. I would certainly understand if you had an accident at my house, but it’s just simpler if you wear it home and then to my house. I can change you there if you’re wet. I’ll even bring a few diapers home with me.” He looked uncertain even then, until she had said, suppressing a laugh, “And I’m sure you were hoping to get naked with me on the first date anyway.” She knew how to make him feel better about the situation. He had grinned and agreed, and now he stood on her doorstep with a slightly wet diaper under his clothes. He was nervous as they took their relationship to another level, and felt awkward that he was doing it in a wet diaper. He didn’t feel very romantic. But when Julie answered the door, dressed up in a pretty dress, her face beaming at seeing him there, he forgot all about the diaper. She was pretty in scrubs, but she looked much better in real clothes! As the door opened, delicious smells of spaghetti sauce wafted toward him, and his stomach stirred. He handed her the bread, some artisan loaf he’d found at a bakery—an actual bakery!—and she ushered him inside. Her little boys were waiting just inside the door, obviously carefully placed there for introductions. Thomas, a 3-yr-old, gave him a high-five when offered, but Andrew, 18 months old, hid behind his mother. They ran off to watch TV while Julie invited him into the kitchen of what turned out to be a modest but nicely kept apartment. They talked about the day while the noodles cooked. At one point, Julie’s hand dropped to his pants, patting and slightly squeezing his diaper. She had done this before at work, almost mechanically, so he didn’t find it strange. “Do you need a change before we eat?” she asked as the food neared completion. “I think I can wait,” he replied, and helped carry dinner to the table. During dinner, where Andrew sat in his high chair but Thomas had a booster seat, they talked about the boys, who warmed up quickly to him once they were sharing food. After dinner, the boys went to play in the family room with some action figures, as he helped Julie clear and wash the dishes. When that was done, she said, “I bet you’re soaked now. Let’s get you changed quickly before the boys need to be changed.” Suddenly, Thomas ran into the kitchen. “Mommy, Andrew pooped!” Julie smiled apologetically and said, “Or, maybe I’ll take care of them first. Do you mind?” He smiled. “It’s fine. If you’d rather, I can actually use the bathroom. I’m helpful that way.” She frowned as she left to find Andrew. “Oh, no. No, just give me a minute and I’ll be ready for you.” He wasn’t sure why she didn’t want him using the bathroom here. It seemed like an easy solution to unburden her, and it wasn’t like there were patients waiting. He’d gotten better at handling his diapers, but she still seemed dismissive of his attempts to help. He sat and chatted with Thomas, until Thomas was called to come get changed. Andrew emerged wearing pajamas, and resumed playing without so much as a glance at him, which told him Andrew was growing more comfortable with him. Apparently Thomas was just wet, but he dutifully followed directions and returned a moment later, also wearing pajamas, very like his brother’s. Then he heard his own name called. The boys didn’t look up, and, smiling ruefully, he followed the sound of her voice back to her bedroom. She was tossing a small wrapped up diaper into a sealed container, and had a large fresh one sitting on her bed. “Time for my big boy’s turn,” she said, smiling, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him on the cheek, and turned him so he was facing away from her bed. Then her hands came down to his chest, and she playfully pushed him gently back toward the bed. He laughed as he fell onto the bed, then, catching the hint, unbuckled his pants as she locked the door. She changed him without any extra touching, even though he hardened as she touched him. But she pulled the front of the diaper up against his erect penis, pointed up toward his belly, and taped him up quickly. She then patted the front of his diaper, and said with a smile, “You put that away for now. Maybe there’ll be time for that later.” She left the room. He took a deep breath. He’d waited a long time for her to touch him outside of work. But—of course—this wasn’t the time, with her kids awake in the next room. So he took a few deep breaths and tried to distract himself enough that his erection would subside. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so easy when she left his penis in the “up” position. In this position, there seemed like there was more friction and movement against that sensitive part. This combination seemed to make it more difficult to go down on its own. And she had taped the diaper so tight that it was hard to adjust himself, or even touch himself at all. He could barely sneak a finger down to push himself into a more comfortable position after he softened, if he sucked in his gut. He’d kind of gotten used to this type of frustration, but it was still annoying. In fact, he was frequently hard inside his diaper, due both to her deliberate ministrations and also from her more practical touching during changing time. It was certainly one reason he didn’t object anymore to the diaperings. As his desire for her grew, every diaper change was a little magical, so that now almost anything diaper-related made him think of sex. He could hardly see a diaper or smell baby powder without getting a little excited. He was a little overdue for an orgasm; that would certainly help. Normally, he’d have just gone home after work and taken care of that tension himself. But she’d left the diaper on him after work, which put a kink in his plans. So he was ready! And it seemed likely that tonight the reward might be worth all he’d allowed to happen to him this past month or two. Finally, he felt he could leave the bedroom without a visible erection under his diaper. He rejoined the little family as the boys had a snack and read a story before bed. For a while after they were asleep, he and Julie sat up and talked. Eventually, Julie winked at him, and said, “It might just be time to take that diaper off.” In her bedroom, she laid him down on her bed. He sprang to attention as soon as she untaped his diaper. He was surprised and a little alarmed to see he was wet, but was distracted enough by impending events that he didn’t care. Julie noticed his surprise, however, and commented on it. “You didn’t know?” Blushing, he shook his head. “Glad you were tucked away in one of these, then!” Then she rolled it up and tossed it away. Julie cleaned him off, as usual, and this time, did not rediaper him. She cooed to him about how happy he made her, and how she wanted to make him happy. Her soft, warm hand moved up and down his member, and he was in a state of bliss. She reached over to her bedside table, pumped out a little hand lotion, and kept going. He was a little too ready for this, from her, right now. He came quickly, spurting over his belly, even up to his chest. He gasped, and eventually opened his eyes to see Julie smiling fondly at him. She cleaned him off and laid down next to him. “That’s been a long time ‘coming’, hasn’t it?” she asked playfully. “I’ve been sort of teasing you for quite a while.” “Yeah,” he panted. “You have.” He smiled. “But I forgive you. Your hands are sooo nice.” His eyes found hers. “But…I’m sure you’ve been waiting a while as well.” His own hand stroked her stomach. Her breath caught. “Well, perhaps I have. What are you prepared to do about that?” She coyly looked back at him. He smiled. “Anything you’d like! What’s your pleasure, Miss Julie?” “Ooh, ‘Miss Julie’? I could get used to that,” she said, then hummed a little with pleasure as his hands played over her clothes. “I do have a rule about no intercourse on the first date, so no use waiting for you to, um, recharge. But perhaps there is some other way you might be able to help?” She smiled as his face disappeared under her dress. She could get used to this, too. Chapter 16 He left not too long after he’d brought her to two separate climaxes. He felt proud to have shown her his willingness—and ability—to pleasure her this way, and hopeful about this relationship. There were many parts of it that were strange beyond belief, if he was honest with himself. But Julie was special. She was smart and funny, and they clearly seemed to be made for each other. He was still quite sure he could fix this bladder issue. No matter what Julie said, it was weird to try to be the man in the relationship if she was changing his diaper. If he could fix that accidental wetting problem, and not wear a diaper outside of work, that would help his male ego a lot. He wanted to be Julie’s man, not her baby. She was patient, but he worried that if things kept going this way, he’d lose her. Of course, he needn’t have worried. Julie was thrilled with their date, happy with their surface relationship, and ecstatic that he had accepted wearing a diaper in her house. She was setting some important precedents, and he hadn’t really objected. She would dictate the times and manner of sex. He wouldn’t assume he could use her bathroom. And he seemed willing—and capable—of servicing her, which was always a good thing in a relationship. Over the next few weeks, they saw each other often. He dined with them frequently, and really enjoyed getting to know the energetic boys better. They came to expect his visits, and requested him to play with them down on the floor. They would tackle him, and he would tickle them, and Julie would watch, smiling. He always wore a diaper at her house. She did not want him leaking on her furniture, she said, and it was hard for him to argue, now that he wet sometimes without realizing it. At his own house, he went without a diaper, but with only intermittent success. He found his underwear, and sometimes his pants, wet every few days. This drove him crazy. He was sure that if he concentrated, he could solve the problem. But as he spent more and more time with Julie outside of work, he spent less time without a diaper on. And so there was less and less time to work on the problem. One night, Julie took him to bed after changing him out of his last wet diaper. They made love, and afterward basked a bit in the afterglow. “I was wondering if you might want to spend more time with us. The boys love you,” she said, adding shyly, “and I might, too.” His heart raced as he took in her words. “You do?” He reached out for her hand. She looked down demurely. “I do.” Her eyes met his. “Is that a problem for work?” He smiled broadly. “Who cares? I love you, too. We’ll make it work.” “If anyone can, I bet we can. We make a pretty good team, don’t we?” She smiled at him. “Let’s get you ready for bed.” After he had a warm, clean diaper taped onto him, they lay in bed happily for a bit, lost in their own thoughts. She eventually spoke up tentatively. “What would you think…about moving in with us?” She rushed on to explain. “It might be easier for my boys. They’ve grown to expect you here, and are confused when you aren’t. It might be a little tight in terms of space around here, but cozy can be nice, too.” He thought about it. “That sounds great,” he said quickly. He wanted to spend every minute with Julie. “Would I give up my apartment?” She shrugged. “If you want. You don’t have to decide right away. We could just try it for a while.” They weren’t talking about anything permanent, so it wasn’t intimidating. He beamed. “I’m in! Let’s try it.” The next night, after supper, they spent some time talking about the logistics of such a move. They decided on the following weekend, and talked about what he might bring. He wouldn’t really need a moving truck, since her apartment was essentially full. But there were a few things he’d like around, and his clothes. As they cleared the dishes, she looked at him sideways. “You know, it would mean that you have to wear diapers 24/7. I’m still not having you leak on my furniture. Are you ready to man up for that?” He grimaced a little. He hadn’t really thought of that. And that was a big question, wasn’t it? She was laying it out there for him. How much did he want her? Enough to put up with round-the-clock diapers? She saw him hesitate and raised her eyebrows. “Oh, come on.” He wasn’t eager to concede this point right now. Maybe he could put off this conversation to consider how to convince her. “We can talk about it.” She turned to face him. “Well, we’re kind of talking about it now. And it’s not negotiable on my end. My boys need a good role model. To them, the answer to your wetting problem is pretty obvious. You have to wear diapers if you wet your big-boy pants. It wouldn’t make sense to them if you didn’t follow the same rules. I can’t confuse them, and I also don’t happen to like stains and odors.” He looked down. It was hard to argue against her logic. “But how am I going to get better at this if I’m always wearing those things?” She came to him and put her arms around him. “We’ll work on it if that is important to you. But safety—and hygiene—first, you know?” She kissed him. “Guess it makes moving in a little easier, right? No need to bring any underwear.” She smiled at him. He loved her smile. Nevertheless, he resisted, feeling trapped. Wearing diapers was still embarrassing to him. He looked away. “But…I want to be a man for you, not a little boy. How can you love me if you’re changing my…” He couldn’t even say it to her. “Taking care of a medical issue IS being a man,” she reminded him firmly, frowning gently. “Being a good role model to my boys, taking responsibility for yourself, being a good doctor, those are all part of being a grown-up. You ARE a man to me. I don’t care where you go pee-pee.” Her hand traveled down his side and to the front of his pants. “Now, I’m not going to hear another word about it. Instead, it feels like you’re wet, and I’d like to change you and let you show me what kind of man you are.” She squeezed his wet diaper suggestively. He hardened instantly, and she smiled. “Mmm, that’s my big boy.” He wondered for a moment if he’d ever won an argument with her. Then her hand pulled at his insistently, and he decided that, for now, it didn’t really matter. Chapter 17 The boxes were unpacked, supper was served and cleared, and he had just finished the dishes. They had spent the better part of the day moving some of his stuff into her apartment. She didn’t have a lot of extra space, so he was just moving in his clothes (sans underpants), pantry supplies, and books. Julie was getting her boys settled with a coloring activity. He walked into the family room, and felt the pressure start to build in his bowels that told him he was going to need to go. And that meant that it was time to confront Julie about this. He needed to say something now, since it would definitely come up again and again. Time to make a stand. There was no reason he couldn’t poop in the potty at her house. He stood in the entrance to the room, and Julie looked up at him. “Um, do you have a minute?” He shifted his weight uncomfortably. She smiled and stood up, coming over to him. He turned and walked back over to the kitchen table, where the kids would not hear them. “I need to go to the bathroom, and I’d like to use the toilet.” She appeared confused. “Why?” He’d seen Julie take this approach before, playing dumb. It annoyed him, if he was honest. But he managed to keep his temper. “Because I LIKE to use the toilet. I’m a grownup and I need to go.” Her face cleared as she understood. “You need to poop?” she asked. When he nodded, Julie’s face grew firm. “We’ve already talked about this. But I’ll explain again. I want you to use your diaper in this house. I don’t want you in my bathroom except to shave, shower, or brush your teeth. Understand?” she said, looking intently into his face. “Say it back to me so I know you heard me.” “But—“ “No, repeat it to me.” He sighed. “You want me to use my diaper.” “And stay out of my bathroom except for what?” “Taking a shower, shaving, and brushing my teeth.” She patted his cheek. “That’s a good boy.” She turned to go. He couldn’t give up that easily. “But why? That seems unreasonable. I don’t like to…you know, poop…in my diaper. I’d really like to use the potty. And…and…it has to be easier for you if I…take care of it…like an adult rather than if you have to change my diaper, especially when it’s…you know…” She shook her head impatiently. “No, it’s not easier for me. Because it means that you have to bother me to come change you out of your diaper, then wait for you to go, then change you back into your diaper. So it is actually taking more of my time if you don’t poop in your diaper like a good boy. I’m sure you aren’t telling me that your stupid modesty is worth wasting that much of my time, are you?” Her face looked stern now. He didn’t want to make her angry, so this was a fine line to walk. He’d learned that upsetting her would not help him win an argument with her. But his need for a toilet was becoming more insistent. “Of course not, it’s just…” he trailed off, considering a different tack. “I don’t understand why you don’t care about my feelings about this.” Her face turned more tender. “I do care. But.” She caressed his cheek. “Your feelings about pooping are silly, and we have talked about them over and over. You get embarrassed about the funniest things, and I view one of my jobs as getting you over that childish hump. Sometimes being a big boy means doing things you don’t like. And this particular thing is very important to me. Do you understand?” He nodded sullenly, despairing that she would not give in on letting him use her potty. “I can’t hear your manners,” she reminded softly. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, as the pressure in his bowels increased. “It’s just that—“ “Ah-ah,” she interrupted sharply. “That’s the end of that conversation. We’re not having another word about my private potty. Understand?” He nodded, and, when he noticed a pause, said, “Yes, ma’am.” She grabbed his hand, and started to pull him back into the family room. “Then come on back in and join the family. Enough of this silly talk.” He pulled back. “Um, can you please just, uh, give me a moment in here,” he asked, looking around a little desperately. “I just need, like, a minute of privacy. Please. At least give me that.” Julie stepped back and looked him up and down slyly. She suppressed a smile. “No, I don’t think so. I want to show you something in the family room.” He started to object, but when her eyebrows went up, he silenced himself and followed her reluctantly. She went to her boys, who were starting to argue about each other stealing crayons. At least she allowed him to stand behind her, pretending to admire the boys’ drawings, instead of in her line of sight, which was a small blessing. He really didn’t want to poop in front of her, despite everything. He felt his bowels moving, and yet still tried to hold off. “Can I get you anything from the kitchen?” he asked as he started to sweat a little. Anything to let him poop in private. Julie paused and looked around at him. She smiled wickedly. “Oh, no, thank you. Being together is why it’s so much fun to live together.” His face drained. She wanted him to fill his diaper here and now. Not that there was much choice. Damn that fiber! So much harder to fight against it. As she turned her head back to her kids, he let it out, aware that he was grunting softly, but unable to quiet himself completely. He partially squatted to finish. The boys were still busy arguing and coloring, and—oddly—Julie did not react to his act of submission. She had to have heard him. At this point, for goodness sake, she had to smell him. But she kept talking to the boys as if he weren’t there. He didn’t know what to do. Obviously, he needed to be changed. And clearly, Julie must have known this. Did she want him to interrupt her? Or, since she knew, did she want him just to wait quietly? In the office she changed him immediately. Were the rules different at home? He hated to draw attention to himself in this state, so he decided to wait quietly. What he really didn’t want to do was move. But two minutes later, when Julie had shown no sign of paying him any attention, he subtly (he hoped) cleared his voice. Julie looked up at him, and said unexpectedly, “Hey, could you do me a favor? Could you sit here with the boys for a second while I grab them a snack? It’ll just take a second but I don’t like to leave them alone with weapons as dangerous as crayons.” Sitting was the last thing in the world he wanted to do right now. But before he could answer, she jumped up and indicated that he was to take her place at the little coffee table that now doubled as a craft table. He looked at her, concerned, trying to talk with his eyes. “But I—“ She interrupted with one hand on his back and one on his shoulder. “I’ll just stop you there. I think the words you were looking for were, yes, ma’am, right?” She smiled knowingly at him. “Your little…situation…will wait a few minutes. We’re all friends here.” He let himself be guided to the floor. She said helpfully, “Kneeling would be okay, if you don’t want to sit, whichever is most comfortable.” He quickly knelt, leaning forward and trying not to disturb the load in his diaper. She stood behind him now, and he suddenly felt her hands on his head, pulling it back, back, back. He looked up to see her smirking and leaning down to kiss him. “I love it when you are good for me,” she said. He agreeably moved to meet her lips, only realizing as they kissed that she had forced him back on his heels. He could feel his messy diaper becoming messier. She met his eyes briefly, noting the flinching expression on his face. “Just give me a minute. Patience is a virtue.” It was more than a minute. The foul smell enveloped him. He tried to distract himself by asking what Andrew was making. He was mostly scribbling, but determinedly using very specific colors. He would have been a lot more amused had he not been almost entirely focused on his diaper. To make it worse, after about five minutes, he found he could not keep kneeling because his foot was falling asleep. He tried to shift his weight, feeling a squishing around his bottom, but it didn’t help. He tried to pull his foot out from under him, but as he could not feel his foot, he lost his balance and landed hard on his cushioned butt. New waves of stink wafted up toward him, and he choked on the smell. Andrew was oblivious, thank goodness. But he couldn’t exactly make himself comfortable sitting in his mess. How long would it be before Julie returned? He was getting annoyed at her absence, and he was unhappy at the cooling mess in his diaper that, the more he thought about, didn’t even need to be there! He struggled to his feet, shook off the tingling in his feet, and headed to the kitchen. He did take care to walk with his legs apart so that he didn’t make things even messier. Julie saw him waddling into the kitchen and stifled a laugh. She was pushing him a bit tonight to see how submissive he really was. But this night was important to setting their hierarchy in this new stage in their relationship. Apparently, while he was certainly malleable, he still had a little fight in him. She didn’t mind that at all. She didn’t want a wimp for a boyfriend (or husband, if all went well). It was good if he could stand up for himself. But he needed to know that in their relationship, she was the boss, and there were consequences to disobeying her. “Where have you BEEN?” he asked her once he got to the kitchen, his tone a little more angry than he intended. He was so uncomfortable and embarrassed. “If I’m going to have to use my diaper, I need you to change me! It’s…” His voice choked a little. He tried to keep himself from crying. He was so frustrated and uncomfortable. “It’s just so…” Julie was in the middle of pouring milk into sippy cups and getting out goldfish. She stopped and stared at him. “What are YOU doing out here?” she replied icily, staring him into silence. After he trailed off unhappily, she continued, “I gave you what I thought was a simple instruction: to sit with the boys until I got back. I didn’t want them left alone. I was making them a snack that would keep them busy long enough that I could change you. Now please go back and wait with them. Please do not make me upset with you.” “Okay,” he grumbled after a moment. “I just don’t understand what is taking so long.” She glared at him. “Well, I’m sorry you’ve had to spend time with my kids. I promise you that within a few minutes, you and I will be spending quite a bit of time alone together, one on one. Now go sit down at the coffee table.” It must have been the continued preoccupation with his diaper that kept him from hearing the danger in her voice. He sullenly turned around and waddled back out to stand near the coffee table. Rather than sitting again, he decided he would stand to wait. The kids were getting restless. Andrew had stood up and was throwing the crayons at his brother. “Andrew, please don’t throw crayons,” he offered tentatively. Andrew ignored him. This would be a good time to redirect him, he thought, sitting him back down, making him pick up the crayons, or giving him a different activity to do. But that would require him to bend over or sit again, and he didn’t want to move. The weighty lump in his diaper immobilized him. So his intervention was not very helpful, and Andrew threw another crayon. Thomas, of course, did not like that, and soon the brothers were enjoying launching different colors at each other. When Julie entered the room, she took in the scene quickly, pausing only a moment before yelling, “What is going on here? Boys! Pick up the crayons and put them in the box. Now.” The boys quickly complied. Maybe it helped that she was carrying snacks, or the mommy’s-mad tone, but they seemed to know that Julie meant business. She turned to him. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you’re not sitting like I asked, and that you weren’t helping here. Go wait for me in our bedroom.” Like the boys, he finally recognized that tone, and didn’t argue. He was just happy that she would do something. He waddled into the bedroom and stood near the bed, where there was a changing pad lying next to a large unopened diaper, powder, and wipes. He let his eyes wander around this room, which was now his as well as hers. His eyes settled on a chair from the dining room that was sitting near the window. Was that here before? His musings were interrupted by Julie’s businesslike entrance. “Lie down on the bed on the towel, please,” she said brusquely. She turned and locked the door. Sensing her angry mood, he obeyed quickly. Those boys could really make her mad! He decided he would help ease her stress by showing how he could cooperate. Getting out of this diaper more quickly suited him very well. He laid back into the by-now very familiar position she had shown him. She moved the box of wipes to within reach, and untaped his diaper. She pulled it forward, and said, “Up.” He raised his legs and grabbed his knees. His skin felt cool to the air as the odor suddenly worsened noticeably in the room. He felt her use the diaper to clean the bulk of his mess off, then fold the diaper under him. “You know,” she said as she drew a cold wipe down and across his hips. “We’re all going to need to work together if this is going to work. Those little guys take a lot of work, and I’m going to need your full cooperation. Down,” she said. This time, as he was focused on her words, it took him a moment to realize she had commanded him to lower his legs. He put his feet on the bed, realizing that she did not expect him to say anything. Julie got a clean wipe and used it to clean his groin. He grew hard as she cleansed his penis and testicles, then pulled them to one side, then the other. He hoped she would notice and touch him a little. The door was locked, wasn’t it? But if she noticed, she apparently wasn’t in the mood. His penis twitched, straight up in the air, untouched. He fought the urge to reach down and at least tuck it somewhere so it wouldn’t look so ridiculous. Instead, she continued what he realized was a lecture. “I was NOT pleased with your behavior tonight.” “Up,” she instructed. She finished the cleaning ritual, as she continued, “After I specifically asked you for patience, you came in and yelled at me. If you’d taken time to notice, you’d have seen that I had set up the bedroom to change you, and was making the boys a snack so we’d have time alone.” He was silent, knowing she needed to vent. He realized she was right. She bundled the messy diaper up and wrapped it in a bag. Then she used a new wipe to clean her hands, then tossed all of them into the sealed trash can. “Worse than that, you left the boys alone when I’d directly asked you to watch them. They were getting restless, and I needed you there. You left them alone, and they started making a mess.” He waited for her to grab a fresh diaper, but instead she stood for a moment with her arms crossed. He propped himself up on his elbows. “Yeah, I’m really sorry, honey,” he offered. “It’s just that in the past, you’ve always been so quick about helping me when…that…happens.” She nodded. “Because we’ve been at the office, and we’ve needed to be very discrete. But I’m juggling a lot more balls here at home. I was very disappointed with you tonight.” His cheeks burned. He resented being made to poop in his diaper and then not being changed. Didn’t it seem like too much to ask of anyone? “Look, I said I’m sorry. It’s…just…so gross. You don’t understand. If you want me to use a diaper like that, you kind of need to help me out when it happens. I’m not sure what you want me to do.” She coolly regarded him. “I want you to listen to me and cooperate. Apparently you don’t understand how important that is to me.” She turned around and sat in the chair by the dresser. “So now I’m going to make sure you understand how important it is to me.” He paled as he saw her reach over to the dresser and pick up her hairbrush. His eyes darted around. She had implied this could happen again, but he didn’t think… “Um, I totally understand, Julie. So…but, um…isn’t there some other way? I—I get it now. I understand how important it is to you. I’ll listen from now on. There’s no need for…” But she sat there stonily, staring at him. “If you want to show me that you know how to listen to me and follow my directions, I suggest you come stand next to me right now.” He was sweating a little. He’d been across her lap before and didn’t want to do it again. “But…your boys are…” “They’ll be fine. They’ve got a snack and a little video they love. COME. HERE.” He slowly stood, not sure how else to delay the inevitable. He took a step forward, then another. Her sober face did not promise mercy. When he’d gotten near enough, considering what else he could say to change her mind, she reached up suddenly and grabbed his ear, pulling firmly. Searing pain erupted from his ear. He bent down to relieve it and suddenly found himself over his girlfriend’s lap. She shifted and he found that one of her legs was over both of his. He couldn’t move. He stared at the floor, his stomach in knots. He felt something cool on his bottom. She rubbed him with her brush. “When I tell you to do something, like sit with my kids, or to come stand near me, there is a REASON. I. WANT. YOU. TO. DO. IT.” Each word was suddenly punctuated with a sharp stinging smack to his rear end. It stopped for a moment, and the pain seeped in. He gasped. That wasn’t her hand. She was using the brush right away. This was much worse than last time. “If I can stop to explain, I will. If I don’t explain, you need to understand that I. WILL. EXPLAIN. WHEN. I CAN. JUST. FOLLOW. MY. DIRECTIONS.” He gasped again. It was hard to breathe when she was spanking him this hard and fast. The lecture and spanking went on until he was crying. Crying because of the pain, and crying because he had disappointed Julie. At some point along the line, she stopped talking, but he didn’t notice. Finally, he noticed she had stopped spanking. She let him stop crying, then helped him stand. He stood before her, hands holding his bottom, sniffling. “Look at me, sweetie.” He had trouble meeting her eyes. “Look at me.” She guided his chin upward until their eyes met. “I – I’m sorry,” he sniffled. She smiled. “I know you are. And I’m not mad at you anymore. Give me a hug.” She stood and they hugged for a long time. Eventually she looked at the clock. “We have a few minutes before the end of the video. There are certainly lots of things we could have done during that time if you hadn’t needed a spanking… but for tonight, let’s get you in a nice clean diaper. How does that sound?” He nodded, and laid down on the bed. His bottom still stung, and felt so hot. She retrieved another diaper, and before taping it on him, rubbed some lotion, then some powder, onto his skin. When he was diapered, he stood up. “Can I help you with anything?” Noticing the improved attitude, Julie beamed. “Sure. Why don’t you clean up the boys’ snacks and sippy cups, and I’ll get them ready for bed?” After he dressed himself, they worked to get the boys into bed and the house cleaned up. They snuggled on the sofa watching a movie before Julie yawned and said it was time for bed. Julie let him brush his teeth in her bathroom, then shooed him out so she could pee before bed. She came out and grabbed a new diaper, tossing it onto the bed. “Okay, time for a bedtime diaper.” He had indeed wet himself while she was in the bathroom, so he took his pants off and laid down. Julie cleaned him up, and then, as he hoped, let her hand linger on him until he became hard. She turned down the lights, seductively removed her clothes, and took advantage of his nakedness. As had become their habit, he pleasured her first “to get her in the mood,” then entered her. They came together. Afterward, they lay together for a few minutes, and he felt her hands touch his bottom, still hot from the spanking. “Sorry about the punishment. But I still think it’s better than letting any anger fester unspoken. Don’t you?” At this, her hand drifted around to the front of him. He had to smile. The sex had certainly salvaged the night very nicely for him. “I guess so,” he said thoughtfully. “I still think we could talk about…” He paused when he saw Julie’s eyebrows lift in surprise. “Maybe we can talk about that later. I’m tired now.” She nodded in approval at his discretion. “I bet you are. I’d better get your diaper on you so you don’t wet my bed.” She couldn’t see him roll his eyes, which was good. She cleaned him again, taped him up, then exclaimed, “Oh! I just remembered something I made for you!” Confused, he sat partway up on the bed as he watched her dart to the closet and search for something. “Here it is! Just finished it last night. It’s sort of a welcome-to-our-apartment gift. Hope you like it.” She held out what looked to him like a t-shirt. Wait, no, it was too long—what was that? A nightshirt? She waited for him to say something, good or bad, about her creation—would he accept this next step? Then she saw his wrinkled brow and realized why he was silent. He didn’t know what this garment was. Julie was happy to explain. “It’s a onesie! It can be your jammies now that you live here. You wear it to bed! The boys have always worn one, and I thought it looked so cute on them, I decided to make one for you. The nice thing for you is that it completely covers your diaper. I know you’re still a little self-conscious about that. Do you like it?” He had no idea. He hadn’t been around kids before, and wasn’t familiar with it. But she was so happy, and he was touched by the idea that she would make clothing for him. So he said, “Of course! It’s wonderful.” Her response, a broad smile, made him feel happy. He reached out for it, and she shook her head. She wrinkled it up in her hands, intending to help him into it. He sat waiting, and she stretched it over his head. It fell around him like a shirt, but was quite long. He looked down, frowning. Julie pushed him back. “Lie down, silly. There are snaps.” He let her push him back, and felt her hands pulling at the shirt. It seemed to be connected by something underneath. She was busy for a moment, then patted his diaper. “Ok. Sit up and let’s see how it fits.” He dutifully sat up, feeling the shirt pull downward as he did so. He looked down and saw that the shirt covered the diaper. He didn’t mind that. “Good so far. Can you stand up in front of the mirror?” As he did, he saw that it was just a long t-shirt that snapped at his crotch. He liked not having to see the diaper, though it wasn’t perfect. The bulge from it was still obvious. He looked more closely at the fabric. The shirt was light blue, and had yellow rocket ships on it, interspersed with stars. She saw him looking. “Sorry, this was the only fabric I had around.” He smiled and kissed her. “It’s fine. I like it. I used to love rockets. They remind me of my youth. It was so nice of you to think of me.” She stood back and looked at him. She reached forward and pulled at the crotch, then smiled, apparently pleased. “I believe that is going to work well!” Then she frowned slightly. “But those snaps are kind of tough to handle if you can’t see them well. If it’s all the same to you, why don’t you let me be the one to snap and unsnap them. You don’t really have any need to bother with them.” “Yes, ma’am,” he responded instinctually. But he was still thinking about the childish fabric. He didn’t really love it, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the other stuff he put up with, for God’s sake. And tonight, he certainly wanted to stay on Julie’s good side. His bottom still radiated heat, trapped by the diaper. But lying close to Julie overnight, the heat faded, and he felt safe, falling asleep with her arm around him. Julie was awake for a while, musing over how perfectly this evening had played out. She’d made it clear firmly but lovingly that she was in charge, and he had eventually accepted it, as she knew he would. He’d be careful about listening to her, at least for a while, until he’d need another reminder. He understood that the potty was off-limits. She could keep him out of the bathroom except for supervised visits. He’d help with the boys, which was wonderful. And she’d really only gotten started. Now that he was here, his training could really ramp up. Never out of diapers. Never unsupervised in a bathroom. And now in a onesie, which would help keep his hands from mischief. She smiled and closed her eyes. Chapter 18 The next day was Sunday, and he slept in. When he woke up, he found Julie had already awakened. As he heard the boys chattering happily in the kitchen, he understood why. Small children didn’t allow parents to sleep in very late. He was immediately aware of how hot he was. Well, not all of him, but his crotch. He was confused for a second until his hands found his diaper. He had not slept in his diaper before, and he found he was a little sweaty. But then he wondered if it was really sweat. He pushed at his diaper and was relieved that it didn’t seem wet. But he couldn’t see that little indicator strip now that he wore his onesie. He could unsnap the onesie and look, but—oh, crap, Julie had told him not to do that himself, hadn’t she? Well, he probably didn’t really need to look. He could tell he needed to pee, pretty badly. He got out of bed and turned toward her bathroom. He sighed. That’s right. It was her bathroom, not his. Since he was wearing a diaper, he didn’t have a reason to go in there, did he? She seemed very territorial about it, for some reason. Maybe issues from a past relationship? Otherwise it seemed weird. Should he find her and talk about that? It needed to happen. But—he could hear her, busy with the kids. This wasn’t a good time to get into it. And…he really needed to go. For now, he decided he might as well use this diaper. I mean, he was wearing it, wasn’t he? It would certainly make Julie happy, and that might make for a nice day! He relaxed and emptied his bladder into his diaper, and was somewhat surprised to notice that he was enjoying the sensation. Peeing was nice, and he had gotten used to the spreading warmth in his diaper. It didn’t really feel wet until later. Holy cow! There was a lot of pee this morning! That made sense—he was sure that was true most mornings, but this was the first time he’d peed into his diaper in the morning, so it was just more immediate to him. The diaper held it, but became extremely heavy and swollen. It pulled downward, which in turn pulled the onesie down. He could actually feel the fabric put some pressure on his shoulders. When he was done, he looked around for something to put on over his diaper/onesie combination, and found some loose fitting shorts. It was awkward to dress over such a full saggy diaper. He headed out to the kitchen, aware that he couldn’t even really walk normally with his diaper this wet. When Julie saw him waddling out into the kitchen, she stifled a laugh, enjoying his toddler-like appearance. She got up and went over to kiss him warmly, hoping her mirth did not show. After the kiss, she looked down and tugged on his shorts. “You can lose these, sweetie. You don’t need shorts with a onesie.” He was a little self-conscious, though. “I don’t mind. It feels funny not to wear pants.” “No, no,” she said. “That makes it harder to see when you need to be changed. Please take them off. You can leave them in the bedroom.” She pointed to her sons, obliviously wearing only their diapers and onesies. He sighed. “But—“ “Ah, ah,” she interrupted. “I don’t like that word. It makes me think you want to argue.” She was sort of smiling, and her eyes sparkled. She didn’t seem mad. She reached down and pulled down his shorts, letting them fall to the floor. Then she stood back up and looked him in the eye. “Do you want to argue?” Now there was a flash of a challenge in her face, though she still had a hint of of a smile on her face, as if she already knew the answer. He swallowed and shook his head. He did not like challenging her. “No, ma’am.” She smiled her radiant smile at him. How could she look so pretty first thing in the morning? It was simple–but not always easy–to make her happy. “What would you like for breakfast?” After returning his shorts to the bedroom, he joined the boys for some eggs, toast, and coffee. Julie noted his lack of pants with a nod of approval. He was very self-conscious of this, but the boys certainly did not notice, so he shrugged and sat down for breakfast. He did not enjoy the squishy feeling of sitting in such a wet diaper, but Julie was busy and he assumed she would attend to him when able. After last night, he wasn’t going to complain about not being changed immediately. Sure enough, after breakfast, Julie changed the boys. He cleaned up the dishes from breakfast and felt like he needed to move his bowels. That was more typical for him than the accident last night. But suddenly Julie was there, waving to him to join her in the bedroom. He knew he should probably mention something about moving his bowels, but didn’t want to bring it up. So he was changed quickly and was very happy to get into a dry diaper. She then tended to herself, closing and locking the bathroom door for a few minutes. He found himself alone in the bedroom, with an urgent need to poop. He knew it was useless to ask about the potty, so he filled his diaper, happy at least to have some privacy. His task finished, he realized he was sort of stuck. He didn’t want to interrupt Julie, but also didn’t want to sit down. He awkwardly stood outside the bathroom door, waiting for her. After a few moments, the door unlocked and opened, and he smiled at her bashfully. She looked at him, obviously wondering why he was waiting at the door, then gave a quick sniff. “Seems like you could use another change, my friend,” she observed while she readied her toothbrush. “Why don’t you brush your teeth and shave, and then we can take care of that?” Later, wiping his bottom for the second time in ten minutes, she asked, “So do you usually poop right away after breakfast?” He nodded. “Well, since I started taking those fiber pills every day, I do, anyway,” he said, somewhat annoyed. He gasped a little as she poked her wipe into his bottom. He still couldn’t get used to that. He had to remember to ask her if it was still necessary. But Julie was nodding. “It will make it easier, though, if your messy diapers are predictable,” she said. “It helps me plan. And I’m sure you don’t want surprises, right?” He had to agree with her there. Even worse than pooping in his diaper would be doing it at work. “We can work with that. But maybe we’ll wait to change your wet diaper tomorrow morning until after you’ve pooped. Diapers aren’t cheap.” She helped him off with his onesie, then went to wash her hands. “Why don’t you shower, then we’ll get you into a nice clean diaper and some grown-up clothes for the day?” He liked the sound of a shower. He did notice that Julie didn’t really leave the bathroom during his shower. Women take so much time getting ready! he thought, though he certainly did not express this. He enjoyed his shower and the feeling of being undiapered for a few minutes. He had finished washing his hair when he heard a knock on the translucent shower door and saw Julie nearby. He opened it a crack. “I noticed some stubble down there this morning. I left a razor in the shower if you want to take care of that.” “Sure,” he said, agreeably. At home he didn’t shave his diaper area every day, but he certainly could. If it kept Julie happy, he was all for it. The happier she was, the more likely he could find a time to make her listen to his concerns about not being allowed in her bathroom, or to change himself. When he was done, he found a fresh diaper waiting for him on the bed. He dried off, combed his hair, and applied some deodorant, but Julie still wasn’t around. Still naked, he poked his head out of the bedroom, aware that—in this house, anyway—he couldn’t really get dressed without his diaper. But she wasn’t in the hall. He could hear her talking to the boys in the family room. Again he was stuck with a dilemma. He didn’t want to bother or annoy her, but he felt foolish just hanging out naked. He decided to get dressed without the diaper, and just let her put it on him when she was ready. As it happened, Julie walked in as he was pulling on his pants. “Whoa, cowboy! Forgetting something?” she laughed. He let the pants drop and reddened. “No, of course not,” he said. “I just thought…” She pushed him gently to his back on the bed. “You thought what? That you’d put on your grown-up pants without a diaper? That is not a good idea in your condition.” His condition? he thought. “I can hold it for a while,” he protested. She powdered him and pulled the diaper between his legs. “Maybe, but we don’t know how long. If I’m not here when you come out, I’d like you to come find me before getting dressed.” “Naked?!” he asked. “Well, or with your shirt on. Or you could text me. How about that?” He nodded, then caught himself. “Yes, ma’am. I just don’t like to be dependent on you for everything.” She ducked into her bathroom to wash off her hands. He stood and resumed putting his pants on. She returned to the bedroom and patted his cheek. “Oh, sweetie, you aren’t. It’s no great shame that you aren’t an expert at changing diapers. Men traditionally aren’t,” she smiled, patting the front of his diaper. He was going to comment on that when Julie said, “And now I think we’ll be ready to hit the mall after lunch. Still up for it?” They had agreed to go shopping together today. They needed a few new things for the apartment, and the boys were growing out of their shoes. Together they got the little ones in their car seats, and headed to the mall, listening to a Sesame Street playlist Julie had prepared for the car. She was such a good mom, he thought. On the way, she said, “Maybe this trip would be a good time to work on staying dry. It won’t be as easy for me to change you when we’re out, you know. Can you focus on that, and we’ll see how you do?” He thought that made sense, and was eager for the challenge. He also secretly wanted to show Julie he could stay dry. They had fun at the mall. The boys were very good; Julie had a double stroller for them, though sometimes they liked to get out and walk. They stopped and had a drink in the food court. Not long afterward, they passed a family restroom, and Julie took the opportunity to check the boys’ diapers. Thomas was wet, but only a little. Andrew, however, needed a change. While they were in the restroom, he played with Thomas outside. Julie opened the door and beckoned him over. “How are you doing?” she asked in a low voice. “Still dry?” He considered. Honestly, he had forgotten. His brow wrinkled as he tried to remember if he had wet. Julie sighed a little and pulled him into the little bathroom. They got the stroller inside as well. “Let me just check.” Julie patted his diaper, and a look of concern crossed her face. She quickly undid his belt, unsnapped and unzipped him, and looked at the diaper. He looked down, too, trying to see. She did up his pants again, then stood, a grim look on her face. His hopes fell. “You don’t remember going, do you?” she asked, fixing his belt. Crestfallen, he shook his head, then remembered to say, “No, ma’am. Maybe after we stopped for drinks?” He was silent for a moment, considering. “That’s not good, is it?” While Julie was secretly quite pleased, she did not let her joy show on her face. She shook her head solemnly as they all tumbled out of the little bathroom. “No, it is certainly not good. Looks like you’re going to be in those diapers full-time for the foreseeable future, mister.” Chapter 19 That night Julie’s mother came over for dinner, as she apparently did every Sunday night. He was nervous, as this was the first time he was to meet her. Julie ordered take-out, which was the tradition. She didn’t like to cook on Sunday nights, and he went to pick it up. When he arrived home, Mrs. Davis was already there. She was on the sofa, playing with her grandsons, who were thrilled to see her. Julie had poured some wine for the adults and was setting the table. “So this is the famous doctor I have heard so much about,” her mother said warmly, standing. He walked over, carried dinner in one hand, and said, “It is so nice to finally meet you.” He extended his other to shake hers, but Mrs. Davis held open her arms. “Give me a hug.” She pulled him close for a moment, and he had an uncomfortable thought that maybe she’d be able to feel his diaper. Or hear it. Or even smell it—had he wet this one yet? But she gave no indication that anything was amiss, and her smile was truly warm and welcoming. He could see where Julie had inherited her charms. They got to know one another at the kitchen table over a few glasses of wine. Mrs. Davis had been a nurse, and had inspired Julie to do the same. She was sharp and funny, and he felt comfortable around her immediately. But he did have a little bit of unease as he wondered how much she had heard about him. He heard about Julie’s upbringing. Like all mothers, she had a few practiced stories about her daughter, which seemed designed to embarrass her, but Julie took it in stride. Mrs. Davis helped feed the boys, but attentively listened as he described his family in turn. Afterward, he cleared the table and did the dishes as Julie and her mother played with the boys in the family room. Mrs. Davis noticed and clearly approved of his cooperative spirit, and Julie beamed with pride. They shared a meaningful look as he disappeared into the kitchen. When he had finished that chore, he joined them on the sofa. But Thomas chose that moment to fill his diaper, grunted determinedly in front of the coffee table. “Uh-oh, looks like someone is going to need a change,” Mrs. Davis commented, smiling. When Thomas had finished, she took him by the hand. “I’ll take care of this one,” she said. “Thanks, Mom,” Julie said. When her mother had left the room, Julie said to him, “She loves you. Nice job with the dishes! You passed the test!” He smiled. “Whew! Hope it wasn’t that close.” Julie shook her head. “Of course not. I’ve told her all about you. She was thrilled with you almost before she met you.” That reminded him to ask how many details Julie had shared. But at that moment Mrs. Davis came back into the room, carrying her grandson. “And here we are again, smelling much nicer than before. Nothing like a clean diaper, right?” she asked the room. Julie nodded. “Everybody loves that. Thanks again, Mom.” Her mother brushed aside the comment. “Of course. You work so hard being a mom for this family. I’m happy to take a turn.” Julie stood and looked at him. “Actually, maybe it’s time for us to take a moment as well,” she said. He looked up at her, confused. She cocked an eyebrow expectantly. He blushed. She wanted to change his diaper. “Oh, sure, right,” he said, not having any idea how to cover their obviously intentional exit. “No problem,” Mrs. Davis said, smiling at them. “We’ll be okay for a few minutes. Take all the time you need.” In the bedroom, he lowered his pants and laid down obediently on the bed, but hissed, “Does she know?” Julie unconcernedly pulled off the diaper tapes. “Know what?” She pulled down the diaper, which he saw was quite wet, and ran a wipe over his front. He sighed with exasperation. “About this! About my diapers. Did you tell her?” Julie couldn’t help but notice that now he said “my” diapers. Cute. A good sign. “No, of course not. How would she know?” He breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t know. It just seemed like it would have been obvious to her when you excused us out there. I mean, what else could we be doing?” Julie laughed as she wiped his bottom and found a dry diaper. “I don’t know. What do couples usually do in the bedroom?” she asked with a sparkle in her eye. He said, “Oh, sure, we just ducked into your bedroom to have sex for a minute.” Julie pulled the diaper between his legs and tightly taped it. “What we do behind closed doors is none of my mother’s business.” He stood and she patted him on his padded bottom. “You worry too much.” He pulled up his pants and refastened his belt. He felt better that Mrs. Davis didn’t know she changed his diaper. When they returned to the family room the boys were deeply engaged in playing a superhero story, with Mrs. Davis enjoying the show. She turned to them. “Everybody all set now?” she asked. “Now tell me: where did you go to medical school?” He wondered what she meant by that first question, but didn’t have time to dwell on that, as he was called on to answer the second. They had a good conversation. Mrs. Davis was genuinely interested in him, and seemed pleased with his answers. When the boys were put down to sleep, she excused herself as well. After Mrs. Davis had left, he cleaned up the kitchen. Drying his hands, he returned to the family room and saw Julie sewing. “You really are talented,” he said, hoping to keep the evening positive. He had hopes that tonight would end up happier than last night. Julie smiled, then leaned over and accepted a quick peck on the cheek. “Why, thank you, my love. Since you liked the first onesie, I’m making you a second one, for laundry days. What do you think?” The fabric was mixed blue and pink blocks. In truth, he had mixed feelings about these clothes. They had turned out to be quite comfortable to sleep in, and he liked that she was thinking of him enough to give him things. But he had come to the conclusion that they were more childish than he’d originally realized. There was a strong pattern in their relationship of Julie treating him like one of her young children. Individually these things—the diapers, the spankings, the onesies—seemed to make a little sense at the time, but collectively they were sort of hard to explain away. He realized he hadn’t answered. “Oh, really nice,” he said, thinking there would be time to talk about the child vs. man issue another time, once he’d gathered his thoughts. But he still felt like pushing back a little. “Hey, if you like the way these things look, why don’t you make yourself one? We could be like a whole onesie household?” He was curious how she would answer. She smiled. “Well, I like having a little easier access to what’s underneath, you know?” She raised her eyebrows at him. “And I bet you like having that access, too!” He caught her meaning and felt himself getting a little hard. How did she do that? She was so sexy, and that made it easier putting up with some of this stuff. She continued, “And of course, the snaps would make it harder for me to use the potty. That’s not an issue for you boys, so it just makes sense that if anyone gets to wear a onesie, it’s you. Boys have all the fun,” she said, shrugging. This seemed like the opportunity he was looking for to discuss the potty situation. He didn’t like how things were settling into a habit of him never using the potty—the bathroom, he corrected himself (Julie’s language was infectious!). He sat down next to her. Julie smiled a bit as she heard his diaper crinkle. “Can I ask you something?” he said. Still smiling, Julie laughed, “As long as it’s not about diapers. That’s settled, right?” Caught off guard, he stammered forward, “Well, I understand that I’ve been leaking sometimes, but…” “Wetting,” she corrected. She wrinkled her nose. “Leaking sounds like there is a problem with the diaper.” Not wanting to get bogged down in semantics, he nodded. “Ok, wetting. I understand that I’ve had some ‘wetting’ accidents, and that you want to protect your furniture. But I’ve never had any bowel issues, so I still don’t understand—“ Julie’s smile had vanished. She shook her head a little sadly as she looked at him. “You and your hang-up with pooping. What is it with you?” He paused to consider how to answer. How could she not see the difference? But she went right on, “I really don’t get it. It’s a natural bodily function. I’ve already told you: I don’t care, and changing you doesn’t bother me. I was hoping that once I’d proven that to you, you’d relax a bit. “And I’ve explained how much time it would take to undo your diaper and let you poop in the potty. It’s not about my personal preference: pooping in your diaper is just good time management.” He’d heard this before. But then why couldn’t he change himself? He clearly had a lot more diaper experience now; it couldn’t be that hard. “But—“ “Do NOT let another word out of your mouth if it is about diapers or pooping. I meant it when I said that issue is settled.” He considered quietly. “I can’t hear your manners.” He looked up and saw her eyes, fiery, and saw her lips pressed together. If he thought about it, he could still tell that his bottom was still a little sore from last night. “Yes, ma’am.” She relaxed a bit. “That’s my good boy. Why don’t you brush your teeth and bring me your onesie? It’s getting late.” He turned to obey. Julie was sweet almost all the time, but she didn’t like being questioned. The woman knew what she wanted! He’d have to think about how to approach this issue in the future. He didn’t want to test her now, but he wasn’t willing to give up his bathroom privileges forever. When he had been to Julie’s bathroom to brush, and found his onesie, he found her in the bedroom getting out a clean diaper. He set the onesie on the bed, and taking her cue, pulled off his pants and laid down on the bed. She attended to him efficiently, and though he was looking forward to some special fun during his bedtime diapering, he found himself rediapered and snapped into his onesie before he could protest. He read a little while Julie readied herself for bed. When she came to bed, she seemed a little quiet. He rubbed her neck a little until she turned to him. “How about taking advantage of that ‘easy access’?” he asked, smiling. That put a little smile on her face, and he happily ducked below the sheets. Julie was not hard to pleasure, and he took some delight in his ability to make her happy so quickly. He could feel himself stiffening inside his tight diaper during the process. When he reappeared above the sheets, Julie seemed more relaxed. She leaned over and kissed him sweetly on the cheek. “Thanks, baby. I needed that.” With that, she fell back against her pillow. He waited a moment, expectantly. When she didn’t make another move toward him, he frowned and scooted closer to her. But…she was breathing deeply like…she was asleep! He could feel himself under his diaper, hard and ready, but now had nothing to do about that. He lay back on his own pillow, and tried to rub himself through the diaper. It felt nice, but not nice enough. He wondered what Julie would do if she found dried cum inside his diaper. Would she mind? Would she notice? He noticed with disappointment that his onesie kept him from getting a hand down his diaper. He could unsnap it, but that might be loud enough to wake Julie. He tried to reach through the side, but Julie had apparently taped the diaper on quite tightly. And the onesie almost seemed designed to be tight around the sides as well, so he could barely get a finger in. Not enough to help, that was for sure. Briefly he considered getting up and going somewhere to attack this more effectively. But where? Because he wasn’t allowed in her bathroom, there was nowhere that could be completely private. He could sneak into the family room, but that seemed creepy with the kids in the apartment, and what if he woke Julie getting out of bed? What possible excuse could he have for not being in bed? Frustrated, he sighed heavily and tried to think of something else. He couldn’t believe Julie had forgotten his needs. It was a long time before he got sleepy and was able to rest. Julie, who was only pretending to sleep, heard him quiet down. She smiled. He had passed the test, though she had certainly made it difficult to do anything else. Her huffy mood earlier had been a bit of an act, designed to excuse her not being “in the mood”. And she had carefully diapered him tightly to make sure he wasn’t overly tempted. She didn’t think he would be crazy enough to untape his diaper tonight and take matters into his own hands. She had specifically emphasized her feelings about his touching his diaper in the past, and she had even told him not to unsnap his onesie. After having spanked him just last night, she had felt sure he would be good. Maybe he was starting to realize the best feature of his onesie, but if he hadn’t yet, he’d certainly notice soon enough. They were designed to cover his diaper, sure, and they made him look adorably infantile, which she enjoyed. But their true virtue was keeping his big boy hands away from himself. She knew he’d surely spent a lot of time pleasuring himself in the past, and she wanted that to change. She smiled as she thought about how he’d respond to her sexual control. They were together at work and at home, and there wasn’t anywhere he could go to be alone. Now that he was in a diaper all the time, which he was not to touch, the onesie might be overkill. But, she smiled to herself, it was still a nice touch. She didn’t want him afraid of her, exactly, but a healthy dose of respect for her discipline was necessary. He needed to know what she felt strongly about, and she was sure she hadn’t left any doubt. They hadn’t talked specifically about masturbation, so she was curious what he would do when given a tiny opportunity. He was a guy in his sexual prime, and so she was sure he was tempted. But he was also submissive, whether he knew it or not. She became surer as each day passed. As confident and decisive as he was in the office, he was deferential and meek at home. And it wasn’t that he was that frightened of her. She was seeing signs—little expressions, big erections—that told her that he was growing to like his position in the relationship. After all, he knew she called the shots, that he would be diapered 24/7 in her house, that she would spank him when she wanted, and yet he still jumped at the chance of moving in with her. Now, as she considered, it was she who felt like pleasuring herself to a second orgasm before she drifted off to sleep. But she could control herself without padding and tape. She would have plenty of opportunities in the future. Chapter 20 The next morning was much more rushed, as he and Julie had work. It generally followed the same pattern as the previous morning, though. He awoke and found Julie already up. He peed and waddled out to the kitchen in just his onesie. They all ate a quick breakfast, then Julie parked the boys in the family room with their toys and dashed to the bathroom. He cleaned up the kitchen and found it necessary to move his bowels before he was done. He finished up and carefully walked into the bedroom to await Julie’s help. He picked out some clothes while he was waiting. She opened the bathroom door, and called, “Ready to be changed?” He realized Julie was specifically asking if he had pooped yet, and he blushed a little. But he called back in the affirmative, and she came out in her underwear and bra, hair wrapped in a towel. She looked great, and he could tell that his horniness was cranked up by not having come the night before. However, the romance of the moment was tempered by the task at hand. She changed his messy, wet diaper, and sent him off to the shower with a pat on the bottom. She finished her makeup and dressed while he showered and shaved. As Julie finished powdering and diapering him, they could hear Julie’s mom arriving to take care of the boys. Julie hurriedly brushed the powder off her hands and set to gathering her work clothes. He finished dressing and emerged from the bedroom. Mrs. Davis was in the boys’ bedroom, apparently changing them into dry diapers. Julie yelled into him from the kitchen, “Sweetie, can you grab three of your diapers for my work bag, please? I’m out.” He turned to obey, then froze. Two things immediately occurred to him. First, there was no way that Mrs. Davis didn’t hear that. Second, that he needed to answer her, and by doing so, he would confirm their relationship status and agree that he used diapers. He could stay silent, but then he risked angering Julie. He wondered for a split-second whether she would spank him in front of her mother. But if she hadn’t kept his diapers a secret, why would she care about the spankings? Crap. “Yes, ma’am!” he yelled back, trying to sound playful but not mocking. He hoped making his response sound like a game to Mrs. Davis would cover some of the embarrassment he felt calling her “ma’am” around others. But for God’s sake, how could he pass off her reference to his diapers?! He felt his cheeks burn. Julie had said she hadn’t told her mom about his diapers. But was this just a slip? Or did Mrs. Davis already know? She seemed to know something the other night… But there was no time to wonder. Julie’s urgent voice broke through his thoughts. “Baby, let’s go. We’re going to be late!” He picked out three of his diapers and headed out to the kitchen. He held them out to Julie, who was tucking his sippy cup into her bag. He realized, staring at the bright blue and pink patterns, that Julie had begun bringing a diaper bag to work. When had that happened? “Did you change bags?” he asked, trying to sound casual. She smiled grimly. “Yeah, do you think it’s too obvious? Sorry, but with all of your…supplies, I needed something bigger. It is the perfect size! I’m sure no one will notice.” He wasn’t at all sure. But before he could say anything, Mrs. Davis and the boys entered the kitchen. Julie was tucking the diapers into the main compartment of the diaper bag as her mother, apparently referring to the bag, commented, “You were right, Julie. Perfect size.” Julie quickly cleared her throat. “Okay, guys, have a great day and be good for Grandma. I’ll be home–we’ll be home,” she corrected herself, smiling at him, “before supper.” “Okay, Mommy!” “Bye!” “Bye,” he called weakly. He grabbed his own bag, trying not to look Mrs. Davis in the eye. He felt like she was staring at him, though. Blushing, he picked up his coffee and fled outside. In the car, angry overtook his embarrassment. “What was that?? You told me your mom didn’t know!” In the passenger seat next to him, Julie sighed. “I know, I’m sorry,” she said. “She didn’t, but somehow she figured it out when you were over for dinner. She asked me about it the next day, so I told her you had some bladder issues.” He reddened further. “So, she thinks I’m incontinent?” “Yes, I thought that was the most reasonable explanation. She’s older. It made sense to her.” She reached over to pat his thigh. “Look, it was bound to happen at some point. We tell each other everything. She’s fine with it, of course. I told her it is a medical thing.” He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “But you yelled it out this morning so she could hear.” His eyes felt full. Julie was looking out the window as they pulled up to a light that had turned red. “Well, look, there’s no point dancing around it, is there? She’s at the apartment a lot. It’s a fact of life, and she’s part of the family. But I should have told you. I’m sorry about that.” He swallowed, blinking back the tears as the light changed. He’d gotten over some of his embarrassment of the diapers around Julie, but around her mother, too? Julie went on. “I mean, she’s going to notice when we disappear to change you. She’ll see your diapers if she goes into our room. And I don’t see what the point of pretending is. Actually,” she said. “I could imagine she might be helpful in a pinch.” His eyes jerked toward her involuntarily at this. “What? What do you mean, ‘helpful’?” he said, alarmed. She looked over at him, and, seeing his concern, tried to soothe him. “I don’t mean I’ll ask her to change you routinely, unless we can’t avoid it. It’s just nice to have the option of some help. You know, like if I’m at an appointment, or sick or something.” Even as he pulled into the office parking lot, he could feel himself start to sweat. This was not something he’d imagined ever discussing. Julie was already getting out of the car. “We can talk about it later, Sweetie. We’re a bit late now.” He sat for a minute, watching her leave the car. He snapped out of it as he saw a patient arriving and approaching the office as well. He had to move now. But, Jesus, Julie’s mom? He took a breath and shifted to focus on the day. Despite this distraction, the day went well. Once he clicked into work mode, he felt extra energetic today, and used that energy to make sure her day went well. He definitely didn’t want her to be exhausted by the end of the day. He had an investment in making her happy. His quality of life, in general, just like every other man in a relationship, depended on his partner being pleased with him. He wanted to make sure she wasn’t too tired that evening for sex. Two nights in a row would be a disaster! In fact, his mind was clearly preoccupied with her. His penis sprang to life each time she changed him during the day, and Julie noticed. She wondered a little about it, but mostly, it was amusing to her. They finished and headed home a little early for Monday. It was amazing how efficient they were when they were united in their work. As they arrived home, Mrs. Davis was just packing up. “How were the little monsters?” Julie called. The boys gave a yell and came running to hug their mommy. Mrs. Davis smiled tiredly. “Oh, they aren’t monsters. They are the best little grandsons in the world.” Julie raised her eyebrows. “You haven’t seen them at bedtime recently. Your grandsons can resemble wild animals at times.” But Mrs. Davis just shook her head. “Not my boys. I love taking care of them.” She picked up her purse and headed for the door. She smiled at him on her way. “And speaking of boys, it’s nice to see a big boy around the house these days.” Julie smiled fondly at him as well. “I’ll say. Never thought I’d want MORE boys around here, but he is definitely a good addition to the crew. Thanks again, Mom.” “Any time, my girl. Have a good night!” As the door closed behind her, his thoughts were drawn back to their conversation this morning. Julie wouldn’t make him let Mrs. Davis change him, would she? He couldn’t forget to discuss that sometime. While Julie made supper, he played with the boys. They liked running over and tackling him, and he loved their laughs. In bed that night, Julie untaped his diaper and started stroking him gently. He fought his excitement, which built much more rapidly than he had expected. Worried that he would come before they’d even completed the foreplay, he extricated himself from her ministrations to pleasure her. Afterward, to his relief, Julie did not fall asleep. As he returned up to lie next to her, she purred, “I bet you’re ready to go!” She reached down and found this to be true. Their lovemaking was quick, but passionate, and his orgasm was amazing. Julie noticed. Afterward, as she re-diapered him for the night, she said, smiling, “I’ve never heard you so loud. And long—I think yours was almost twice as long as mine.” He was still panting a little, and had to chuckle. “I guess you’re right. I…” he paused as he thought about what he wanted to say. He didn’t want to sound annoyed at her for falling asleep last night, but being frustrated had probably played into why things were so desperate tonight. “I think with the way things ended up last night might have had something to do with that. I was really horny all day.” She laughed and fell back into bed. “Oh, I noticed. Every time I had your diaper off, it felt like you were propositioning me.” She was quiet for a moment. Not a bad time to talk more about it. “Did you like feeling that way?” He let out a grunt. “Hardly. Are you kidding? I’m a guy. I think most of us like coming as often as we can.” Julie propped herself up on her elbow. “Yeah, but tonight seemed way better for you. That’s not worth sometimes waiting a little to have it build up?” He looked at her. She did not look sleepy. She seemed very interested in this discussion. He probably should have taken that as a warning, but he was feeling sleepy post-sex. “Nah—I mean, no, ma’am. I’ll take quantity over quality any day.” He closed his eyes. “Hmm. I’m not convinced,” Julie said thoughtfully. She poked him in the side with her finger to keep him awake. His eyes opened. “I noticed that you were really, really helpful today with the housework and the boys. Almost like you thought it could help your chances tonight.” He laughed again. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He looked up at her. “Did it?” She smiled. “You bet. If I’m not so tired, you definitely have a better chance to get lucky. So keep it up, mister helpful.” He nodded. “No problem. I certainly don’t mind.” His eyes closed again. This time Julie did not poke him awake. “Interesting…” she murmured, as she watched him breathing quietly. The next night, Andrew threw up after supper. Between caring for him and worrying about what could be wrong and if his brother would also get sick, Julie was preoccupied. So he wasn’t surprised when it wasn’t a sex night. He didn’t complain. He understood that would be insensitive. Plus, after their talk the night before, he knew Julie understood what he wanted. She would have accommodated him if she could, and he thought she probably would the next night. So he went to sleep unsatisfied, but not really frustrated. Andrew actually seemed fine the next day, though Julie told her mom about the incident and called her several times during the day over the phone to check on him. But he still seemed like himself by the time they got home that evening, and no one else got sick, so Julie relaxed a little. As she was distracted, he took over some of the chores around the house. He also gave her a little massage once they were in bed, hoping she was feeling good enough to be intimate before they fell asleep. She was. She turned over as he was rubbing her shoulders, and he found himself sitting on her with his hands over her breasts. This was a welcome development, and she undressed him. He again exploded into her fairly quickly but vigorously, and Julie noted again how much more attentive he’d been during the day and evening. This was not something she could ignore. As luck would have it, Julie got her period after supper the next night. He didn’t know until after he had helped all day and massaged her that evening. Julie sighed, and patted his chest. “Sorry, baby. We’ve got to take a little vacation for a few days. I’m out of commission.” He stared at her for a moment, not understanding. She stared back. “My period, sweetie. No sex. You have to keep it in your pants,” she said helpfully. Then she glanced down at his crotch. “Well, in your diaper.” He was startled. He hadn’t had a close relationship that could be disrupted by such things. “Oh, of course,” he said. He didn’t want to appear selfish. “So…you…do you feel okay and everything?” She laughed. “Of course. It’s just a little gross to think about sex.” She put her hand to his cheek. “Are you going to be okay with that?” He nodded bravely. “Oh, sure,” before he followed it up with, “So…how long do your periods last?” She shrugged. “Four or five days. It varies.” She watched his face carefully to see what he thought of that. He repeated her words, letting them sink in. “Four or five days…um, sure,” he said uncertainly. Since he was a young teenager, he had never gone without orgasm for that long. He honestly wasn’t sure if he could. And she had him locked away, so to speak. So he was already wondering what he’d need to do. “Mm-hm,” she said, cuddling closer. “But I was thinking,” she said, stroking his chest. He hardened under his diaper. Maybe she was going to help him get some relief! He loved Julie. Of course she wouldn’t make him wait that long. “That as nice as you are after you haven’t had sex for just one day, it might be interesting to see just how nice you are while you wait for me. I’m kind of excited to find out.” “Wait for you,” he murmured. She couldn’t be serious. That sounded terrible. But how could he say that without sounding like a jerk? Of course she wouldn’t have sex either. But he wasn’t sure it felt the same to women as it did to men. “Right,” she said, nodding. “Are you man enough to find out?” Not that you have any choice, she thought to herself. But she wanted him to be on board with this experiment. “Um,” he said, trying to think quickly. “It just seems like a long time.” That didn’t sound nice, did it? He cleared his throat and tried to look at her, though her head was on his shoulder and this was hard. “I mean, a man has impulses. It can be hard—I mean, difficult—to ignore those. I want to be honest with you. I don’t know if I can do that.” “Oh,” she purred. “I’m sure you can. And if you’re good, I can help in certain ways.” Her finger traced his nipples, tickling him. THAT sounded good. Though he wondered what exactly she meant, he wasn’t going to turn that down. “Then you’ve got a deal!” She nodded, smiling. She led her finger down his chest to his belly button. “I know you can be a good boy. You’ll make me so happy,” she whispered. His breathing quickened as he felt her finger drop further. It now ran along the edge of his diaper, playing with the little ruffle above the tapes. And then her voice, “Be a good boy. Sleep well.” And then the finger disappeared, and he felt Julie turn over in bed. “See you in the morning.” By now he could feel his penis throbbing under his diaper. She’d done it to him again. This time he was pretty sure it was intentional. She was good at that! But she seemed to be promising that tomorrow might be different. He groaned and rolled toward her, spooning her to make sure she felt his hardness against her. He couldn’t see her, but she was grinning widely as she went to sleep. This might be her best idea yet. Chapter 21 He worked hard making her happy all day. It helped that he seemed to have endless energy. It surprised him a bit, as he hadn’t thought he’d slept that well after her blatant bedtime teasing. But he felt like he wanted to go out of his way to make Julie happy, and her smiles through the day seemed to confirm that he was doing a good job. It was tough not asking for her to touch him more than usual as she changed his diaper through the day. But each time, after cleaning and powdering him, she would pat his penis fondly, and say to him, “You put that away for now. Maybe later tonight.” After their work was done, Julie came up behind him and cupped his diaper in the front. “Hmm,” she observed grimly. “You are very wet, aren’t you?” He looked down. He honestly hadn’t noticed it was any different than most days. “I guess. Did you want to change it?” Julie powered down her computer and shook her head. “Sadly, no. We’re out of diapers. You’ll have to wait until you get home. Think you can wait?” He collected his things. “I guess so. I mean, I don’t have much choice, right?” She put her coat on and patted his cheek fondly. “No, silly, I mean, does your bladder feel full? I don’t know if that diaper will survive another flooding.” He paused. “Oh. Well, I mean, I could go, but I’m sure I can hold it. It’s a short trip.” He donned his coat and picked up his laptop bag. She regarded him for a moment, pondering. “Yes, but I think we should take an extra precaution, just in case.” She found a blue disposable waterproof pad and brought it along to the car, handing it to him when they got there. “Put this on your seat, please.” He stared at it. “Seriously? I’m sure I don’t need that,” he said dismissively. “Maybe,” she admitted, climbing in. “But I’d appreciate it if you’d put it down anyway.” He shook his head. Julie had a hard time not mothering him. But it wasn’t worth fighting about. Mrs. Davis and the boys were nowhere to be seen, but they could hear Andrew’s little voice explaining something earnestly from the bedroom area. As he and Julie put their things away, The boys and Mrs. Davis, chattering, entered the kitchen. “Hi, guys, we’re all dry and clean,” she said, smiling. Julie smiled back, then glanced at him. “Must be nice. We will be soon, I’m sure.” Then she seemed to notice his surprised expression. Did Julie just tell her mom that his diaper was wet?? To his horror, Mrs. Davis reached over and patted his diapered rear end, feeling the weight of his wet padding. “Wow. Well, I’m still in changing mode if you need a hand,” she said to Julie. He froze. Mrs. Davis wasn’t speaking to him, wasn’t looking at him. Only at Julie. It was…like he was a toddler! Julie paused and appeared to be considering. To his relief, however, she shook her head. “No, Mom, that’s okay.” She handed her mother her purse and coat. “I appreciate the offer, you’ve had a full day. I can take care of it. I’m sure you’re ready to get home.” Her mother nodded. “Of course. Just wanted to make sure you knew I don’t mind.” Julie smiled. “I know, and I’m grateful for the offer. But we’re not quite ready for that yet. Maybe down the road.” “Oh, of course. But it would not be any trouble. I’ve been changing diapers for a long time.” “Yes, you are a pro. Thanks again, Mom. Have a wonderful night.” He breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed behind Mrs. Davis. Julie had saved him, though she hadn’t exactly shut down the idea completely. “Julie, I’m REALLY not comfortable with your mom, you know…” he told her at supper. She was cutting little chunks of chicken for the boys, and nodded. “I know. Don’t worry. I told you–only if we have to.” He took a breath. “But–look, I know you like to be the one to change me.” Julie looked up with a bit of a warning expression, as if she didn’t want to talk about that topic. “And–and–I get that you are better at it than I would be. Although, well, we’ve never tried, so how would we know?” he said quickly, then rushed on. This wasn’t his main point and he didn’t want to get bogged down. “But that’s fine. I obviously love it when you change me and I know you’re in charge of that.” He took another breath. Andrew was feeding himself the chicken chunks. Thomas had asked to be excused and was playing with a truck next to the table. “But in an emergency, it seems like I could handle my own diapers, right? Why would you ever want your mother to help? Because I don’t want her to help!” Julie seemed a little affronted. “What’s wrong with my mother? Did something happen between you two?” He sighed. “No, of course not. It’s just that it would be so embarrassing to have someone else, you know, see me and touch me that way.” He couldn’t believe he had to explain this. Andrew was done, and Julie got up to wash his face. He’d managed to get mashed potatoes on both cheeks and his chin. “I know, but I’m sure she’d be better at it than you would. If she is here, and she could do it better, why wouldn’t we have her do it?” She efficiently wiped the food off Andrew’s face, which he tolerated. Then she helped him down from his booster seat. He ran into the living room, and Thomas took the truck and followed. “I feel like this goes back to you being unnecessarily embarrassed about basic bodily functions.” He sputtered, “But–listen, I’m an adult, and–” Julie interrupted, her voice hardening perceptibly. “…Who wears diapers and needs some help with them. My mother changed my diapers when I needed it. She can change yours, too.” As his cheeks reddened, imagining the humiliation, Julie softened and, standing above him, touched his cheek. “Listen, I’ve already told you that I won’t ask her to change you unless it is really necessary. But if it does, you will agree and you won’t give her any trouble.” She brought his chin up so they were looking into each other’s eyes. “Tell me you understand me.” He swallowed hard, trying to think of an argument that would sway her. But he could see she had made up her mind, and he no longer had that chance. “Sweetie, do you trust me?” He sighed. “Yes, ma’am.” “Then tell me you accept the fact that there could come a time when my mom could have to change your diaper.” He paused. But what could he say? He was also, in the back of his mind, thinking that he wanted her in a good mood for later. Julie had suggested they could have some play time later, and although he knew he wouldn’t come, he was curious what she had up her sleeve. “Yes, ma’am, okay.” Julie smiled. “That’s my good boy. Time to clean up dinner, if you wouldn’t mind.” She headed into the living room to supervise her sons. He cleared the table thoughtfully, coming to terms with the apparent diaper-changing hierarchy in the home. Julie really felt like he shouldn’t ever change his own diaper. He didn’t understand why, and wasn’t even allowed to help make the decision. It left him feeling powerless and small. But he had learned to trust Julie, and he wondered whether he could trust her enough here, too. At bedtime tonight she changed him for the last time up near the head of the bed, which was unusual. She patted his side of the bed, and he laid down where she indicated. She changed and cleaned him, then asked, “Up for a little fun?” She was being funny, he realized. He was hard as a nail the moment she untaped the diaper. “Yes, ma’am!” he cheerfully replied. “I love your manners, mister,” she cooed as she opened the closet and pulled out a duffle bag he had not ever noticed before. “They will get you far in this life. Or at least in this bed.” She pulled out some scarves. His brow wrinkled. Scarves? He was woefully uninformed, Julie saw, and it made her smile at him. “Trust me?” she said. “…Yes?” he said back, looking at the scarves with confusion. Julie tied his hands to her headboard. He smiled once he saw what she was doing. This could be very fun, he thought. She did not tie his feet, and as soon as his hands were immobilized, she unsnapped his onesie and undiapered him. “Time for some fun, baby,” she said, as she positioned herself down near his waist. He was fully erect, his penis bobbing in the air expectantly. Julie addressed it next. “Sorry I’ve been so distant, my little friend.” Her fingers lightly touched it and he flinched, sending it away from them. This amused her, so she repeated the game several times. His breathing was already becoming heavy, she noted with amusement. She would have to be very careful. She tickled his balls, and the bare skin around his member. He was extremely sensitive, making her wonder what several days of abstaining would do to him. She smiled. This was going to be a fun week. When his breathing had evened, she extended her tongue and tickled him all over again. When he seemed to be getting close, she backed off again. Eventually, she was able to use her full hand, pushing him closer and closer to the edge, then slowing down. He was sweating, and his arms started to pull hard on the scarves. She was driving him crazy. No one had ever treated him like this before. It was so hot. He had never imagined himself at the mercy of a woman who was in control and yet who delayed his orgasm so expertly. How did Julie do it? Of course, Julie didn’t know his body that well at this point, so she couldn’t be sure. She erred on the side of caution, backing down sooner than she otherwise might, knowing she would have lots of chances to refine her technique in the future. After twenty-five minutes of playing with him, she took him in her mouth and delicately teased him orally, carefully watching his face, listening to his breathing, and feeling his muscle tone. Eventually she came up to his face. “Enjoying yourself?” she purred. Nearly exhausted, he said, “More than you can imagine.” She laughed. “I’m so happy. Remember you said that in about two minutes.” She jumped up and left the room. He was baffled. Where had she gone? He felt a little silly tied up all by himself. But she returned a moment later carrying a towel. She approached him and laid the towel over him. He smiled. What was next?! The towel seemed like a reasonable precaution if she didn’t want mess all over her bed. He thought that the night’s activities might be ending soon. And he was right, though not in the way he’d hoped. Out came a bag of frozen peas, which went on top of the towel. He looked up at her, again questioning her. She explained, “I’ll never get you back in that diaper without some help. But I thought the peas were cruel without a towel.” She left the room again, entering her bathroom. The toilet flushed and then she returned. Julie checked under the towel. He had softened considerably. She grabbed a diaper and expertly tucked him away for the night, returning the vegetables to the freezer and tossing the towel in the laundry. When she joined him in bed, she reached for the scarves. His face was full of confusion. “But…” She looked at him. He couldn’t finish his sentence. He was heartbroken, but didn’t want to complain. Maybe there was still a chance he could come? It didn’t look good, but… Julie said, “Oh, sweetie, you were never going to come tonight. It’s too soon. But I wanted you to have some fun. And you did, right?” She tucked the scarves into the duffel bag and took it to the closet. He was speechless. “Kind of…” he trailed off. When she turned to face him, her eyebrows raised, he stammered, “Well, yes. It was amazing. I just thought…” She closed the closet door and came back and sat next to him on the bed. “Baby, we’re going to try something this week. You are a wonderful man, but I’ve noticed that, like most men, you are limited by your hormones.” He stared down at her hands. A few moments ago, those hands were doing wonderfully sensuous things to him. He just wanted to get back to that moment! She reached up to his chin, pulling his eyes up to meet hers. He was preoccupied but she wanted him following along with her now. “It turns out,” she explained, “that when you don’t have sex, you become even more considerate than usual. And helpful. Were you aware of that?” Seriously? He was surprised to hear this. “I try to be…that way…all the time. I didn’t realize you were unhappy—“ She cut him off, placing her finger on his lips. “Shhh. No, no, I didn’t mean you weren’t a good partner every day. You are. But something interesting happens when you haven’t had sex. You seem much more connected to me emotionally. I wasn’t sure at first if I was imagining it, but it is clearly true. And if you weren’t even aware of it, then that tells me that this…phenomenon… is not just something you are trying to do when you’re desperate.” She sat back. “Actually, when I look back to other relationships, it might have been true then as well. So maybe it’s all men.” She shook her head a little. “Honestly, I wish I’d noticed this earlier in life. Could’ve been verrrrrry helpful.” Julie turned back to him. “But the point is, I need you to explore this with me.” He frowned. “What do you mean? Explore what? It sort of sounds like you don’t want to have sex with me.” She shook her head and laughed. “No, that’s not right. I love having sex with you. But there might be a balance that would be good for us. And I’d like to see what that looks like.” “A balance? Between what?” She pursed her lips and stared at him hard. “Between you coming every night and you never coming at all. If you come every day, you are a little happy really often, but we might not get as much out of our relationship as we could. I would have to work harder around here, and might resent you not contributing as much.” He looked concerned, then smiled a little. “Well, part of that sounded pretty good…what if I just tried harder around the apartment?” Julie patted him on the cheek, giving him a wry smile. “I bet that sounds good to you. But not as good as it could be. If you come only some of the time, your pleasure will be greater when you do come—right?—and in the meantime life will be better for me. And when you don’t come, maybe we can have fun like we did tonight.” He sat there, pondering her words. She gave him a moment to think about this. “Now, I care for you a lot, and I want you to enjoy sex as much as I do. But I also want what’s best for us together, and I think we owe it to ourselves to see if that could work. So this week, while I’m out of action, you’re going to be out of action as well.” He looked at her, alarmed. “Like, all week? I don’t–” Julie laughed, then mocked him playfully. “Yes, all week. I mean, I have to wait, right? Are you telling me you aren’t as tough as a girl?” He swallowed. “Well, I’ve never—I mean, I think it’s harder for me than for you. I’m not used to that at all.” She nodded. “Oh, I’m sure,” she said, with what might have been mock seriousness. “But I’ll make it fun for you. I mean, since it’s better for me if you wait, I’m willing to help you hold out.” “Oh, man. I don’t know if that helped me wait or not. I can’t think about anything but you right now.” Julie giggled and snuggled next to him. “Perfect. I want you thinking of me. And I don’t want you neglected, just a little…frustrated.” He smiled slightly, but…this seemed like asking a lot. “Wouldn’t just be easier—I mean, for you—if I…took matters into my own hands this week, and we could try skipping a day or two next week?” Julie sat straight up. “No, no. NO. Easier for YOU maybe, but not for me. It turns out that I love seeing you when you are a little desperate, and I do NOT want you playing with your little thing.” She again made him look her in the eyes. “Please tell me you understand. No jerking off. This is very important to me.” He looked down. It was very clear what Julie wanted. And he had learned that what she wanted, she always got. If there were more nights like this, it could be fun. He might even get to see what else was in that duffel bag. He looked into her eyes. “Yes, ma’am. I understand.” She beamed. “That’s my good boy. You’ll see that good things come to those who wait,” she said suggestively, and patted the front of his diaper. She felt him twitch inside, and she liked it. “Now let’s get some sleep.” Chapter 22 That week was difficult. From that night onward, he couldn’t think of anything except Julie. Having sex with Julie, have Julie play with him some more, doing all sorts of things to her. But he was taped up tightly inside of his diaper, and he couldn’t touch himself. He wasn’t really ever out of her presence for more than a few moments. She seemed to be around him almost all the time. Even when he showered, she was in the bathroom just on the other side of the frosted glass of the shower. He couldn’t jerk off if he wanted to. And he wanted to. Kind of. But it was also undeniably fun to go through the week with Julie teasing and taunting him. During the day she would pat his diaper and make double entendres that her sons could not possibly catch. And at bedtime, the scarves came out. She didn’t use other toys, but she did use some kind of slippery liquid, and drive him nearly crazy. She would push him to the brink, then back off, then repeat. He would be sweating within minutes, but could not do anything about it. He had no idea how she knew how to get him that close. He got so crazy that he tried to thrust into her hand. She would laugh and move her hand just out of the way. She seemed heartless, except that it obviously took a lot of time and effort for her. And it wasn’t like she was getting any relief either. He tried to remember that. Every day, he had difficulty thinking of anything other than Julie and her torture sessions. He hated them, but wanted them at the same time. He had nothing he could do with his energy. It was such a weird feeling to be so wound up without the ability to do anything about it. Every comment, every look was charged with sexual tension. Julie could see it in his eyes, and was smiling at him constantly, which, in turn, drove him even crazier. He tried to keep himself busy. When he could, he would clean their apartment. When she would let him, he would rub her feet or shoulders. Her touch became electric to him, somehow, and this was a form of magic he could not understand. Was it really hormonal? Maybe she knew things about the human body that he, as a doctor, did not. Regardless, he longed to have her near, maybe more than usual. He was conflicted about whether he thought this experiment was something he wanted to continue. At times he felt like he was flying, but he longed almost constantly to come. Or for her to touch him. Both? He wasn’t even sure anymore—his feelings and wants and needs were muddled together into a complex knot of energy. On Saturday night, she changed his diaper, then tied him to the bed as before. She untaped and pulled down his diaper. Then she lightly stroked him until he was hard and starting to breathe faster. But then she disappeared into the bathroom. He heard the shower start. Seriously? NOW she showered, while he couldn’t move? He passed the time thinking of how good things were going to be once her period was finished. He imagined taking her over the bed, or in the kitchen, or on the sofa. Not that any of that would likely happen, as Julie had definite preferences and usually liked to be in control. But he could still imagine what it would be like to be the one who decided when and how they had sex. But when she was in control, that was incredibly sexy too, wasn’t it? He pictured her smile when she signaled it was time to fool around. He felt her hands on his diaper. Now, the simple act of untaping his diaper made him hard. He had never been on the bottom during sex before he met Julie, and since then he had never been on top. That was odd, he supposed, but he had grown to love looking up at her, her face lost in pleasure, her breasts dangling freely. The way she ground her pelvis against his, used him for her pleasure. That was so hot. If only he could touch himself right now! Suddenly the door to her bathroom opened, and Julie emerged, wearing lingerie he had not seen before. A soft pink babydoll nightie hung from her slim body, and her face showed that she knew the effect it would have on him. She glanced down at his penis, still hard, and saw it twitch hungrily. She smiled, retrieved something from the duffel bag and sat next to him on the bed. He strained at the scarves, trying to touch her with any part of his body. Suddenly she produced a blindfold and fastened it around his eyes, and all light disappeared. He immediately became aware of how she smelled, clean with soap, and a familiar, reassuring scent that made him feel close to her. He realized a moment later that he was smelling baby powder, which smelled a little different on her. He didn’t stop to think that by now, after so many weeks of use while she changed him, that it was a smell that excited him. She stroked his cheek, then ran her fingertips along his ears, tickling him deliberately. Tied and blind, he was forced to wait to see what was next. His skin felt electric, as every part of him wanted her touch. She drew her fingers down his neck, then trailed them across his chest to his nipples, which she was happy to see were hard. His sharp intake of air told her they were also sensitive. The week of chastity had apparently charged his body with an insane amount of energy. This was better than she had hoped for. Whether or not he wanted to repeat this experiment, she thought, didn’t really matter. She would now be controlling his orgasm frequency. But she thought she could probably convince him it was a good idea over the next few minutes. She pinched his nipples gently, eliciting gasps. She leaned down and touched one with her tongue. His body became rigid. She played it back and forth and he didn’t move a muscle. She nibbled it a little and she felt him squirm, then buck a bit as she started to suck. He had no idea his nipples could feel like that. It was mostly like tickling, and they were so sensitive. He couldn’t move out of the way, and had to wait for her to tire of it. Finally she relented, leaving him panting. His erection had softened, but stiffened again as he felt her hands play down his abdomen. His skin tightened and relaxed under her touch. As her soft fingers approached his waist, his body became more and more tense. Without realizing it, his breathing had quickened. She noticed, however. She also noticed the clear liquid forming at the tip of his hard penis. She smiled. Bending over, so her mouth was next to his ear, she whispered, “Why are you so sensitive, my love? I’ve never seen you like this.” Her fingers danced around his lower abdomen. Nearly panting now, he croaked, “It’s been so long.” He was waiting for her hand to move closer to his throbbing penis. But instead it stroked upward again, right to his belly button. He gasped. “Oh, please, Julie!” She laughed. “Oh, begging? Wow. I have got you worked up. This is special.” As a reward, she moved her hand closer to him, brushing her fingers over the tip of his penis. He nearly choked. She took it in her hand, shifting it upward, and gave him several soft pets on the underside. And it was too much. Too much time, too much anticipation, too much teasing over the week. She watched as ejaculate shot up into the air and back down again onto his stomach, surprised more than anything that so little direct contact could set this off. She wasn’t even touching him at this point. He was moaning and bucking his hips involuntarily into the air. As his orgasm passed, he whimpered quietly. Julie watched, fascinated, then started laughing once she realized what had happened. She had heard of ruined orgasms, but hadn’t ever seen one. She certainly hadn’t ever caused one. What did she hear about them? That they didn’t feel as good, but that they also didn’t cause a refractory period. It was sort of like a practice orgasm, right? She would find out. She was hungry tonight and didn’t want to be done! “I’m so sorry,” he gasped, nearly in tears. “I couldn’t control it! I…I…” “Shh, baby, you’re okay,” she soothed, using a tissue to wipe up what she could off his belly and nearby sheets. He’d be doing some laundry tomorrow, apparently. “We’re not stopping there. I think you’ve got more in you.” His breathing slowed. She got down close to his waist and breathed on his slightly softened manhood. She licked it a bit. She tickled it. It didn’t take long to stand right back up, gently bobbing with his heart beat. She smiled and climbed onto his chest, facing his head, and scooted closer to his blindfolded face. Time for her to reap the first carnal profits from the week’s efforts. He had been panicked when he’d come just now. He knew he was done for a while, and couldn’t believe the week had ended with such an embarrassing display. It was a different kind of accident than he usually had, and, like his wet accidents, had been watched by Julie. He was relieved when she was able to conjure another erection from him so quickly. Maybe that was because he’d been so deprived all week? He had no frame of reference to understand the week’s events. But he was humiliated by his premature discharge, and when Julie presented herself to his mouth, he was eager to prove himself to her. She could tell. And she was ready. He licked his way to 3 consecutive orgasms in short order. Between them, Julie reached a hand back to keep him primed, but it wasn’t difficult. Neither of them had ever been so excited and in sync. Julie decided it was time for the grand finale, and lowered herself down onto him teasingly. This second time, he was able to last a satisfyingly long time, and they both came together, sweaty and exhausted. Later, once he had been untied and rediapered, they snuggled together in bed. “Well?” Julie asked him. “…How was that?” He exhaled heavily. “Whew. It’s never been like that.” She smiled. “I know. Here’s a hint for the future: don’t ever doubt me.” He laughed. “I promise. I’ve learned that.” After a moment he said, “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You seem to get your way most of the time, don’t you?” Julie chuckled. “Well, I would hope so.” She traced circles on his chest. “Now that it is over, what do you think about the results of the experiment?” He thought a bit. “Hmm. Well, this week was tough, but…good in a way. I felt frustrated, but kind of alive too.” He grunted and snorted. “Ah, it’s hard to explain.” She turned her head a little and looked at his profile in the darkness. “You were amazing this week. I want that man all the time. That is my dream!” He considered. “I can try. Might be kind of hard to sustain that.” She snorted. “Don’t worry, honey. I think I can help a little.” Intrigued, he waited for her to elaborate. When she didn’t immediately, he had to ask, “What’s that supposed to mean? How can you help? Wait—” But she was already propping herself up on her elbow to answer him, one hand now playing with his hair. “It seems like you thrive on fewer orgasms, babe. There will be a little rationing program from here on out.” Now he sat up sharply. “Now, wait. This was a fun game this week, but—” She looked at him in the murky moonlight shining in through their window. “But, what? This was the best sex ever. And it followed a week of relationship bliss for me. Sorry, not giving that up.” She laid back down. “But—” “That would be a really good place for you to leave this discussion,” Julie advised him. “I’ve had a lovely night, and I don’t want to ruin it with an argument.” She turned over. “You think about it tonight. If you come up with any good arguments why you should deprive me of such a loving partner and productive roommate, let me know tomorrow. For now, sleep! Love you.” She closed her eyes, and he was left to consider her words. The next day around the apartment, he was still considering. He was torn. He had felt truly elated toward the end of the week, and last night had been spectacular. But he was still a young man. Sex was his stress relief and had always been his decision. This relationship had changed so much for him—was he ready to give up control of his sex life as well? But there was only so far that masturbation could take him. He’d been dealing with the stress of a single man’s life. It was different now. He had someone. Someone who loved him and cared for him in ways he still couldn’t wrap his mind around. He felt nurtured and complete. He hadn’t known he’d been missing that. He loved it. He’d always assumed he’d have to make some compromises in a relationship. But he’d thought that frequent sex had been part of the perks of the deal. Did it make sense, as Julie had said, to sacrifice quantity for quality? He considered. Any orgasm was pretty fantastic, after all. But he’d never had a night like last night…. Today he felt different. He felt irritable. That high was gone. Because he’d had sex last night? He didn’t know. Was it worth testing out again? Maybe just with Julie’s next period. He was wiping the counter after lunch, deep in thought, when he became aware of Julie’s voice. But he’d missed what she’d said. “What?” he asked distractedly. She regarded him grimly. “Hmmm. This is how you act after you get sex. Not even aware of me, not listening. Is THAT really the argument you want to make for yourself?” He hurried to apologize. “I was just thinking about last week,” he explained. She raised an eyebrow. “And? What’s your best case for free-range orgasms?” His face fell. “I don’t know. I liked how I felt during the week. I just don’t know if I can do it all the time.” She came close. “Sweetie, you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here. And we’ll have plenty of sex. You just won’t have as many orgasms.” Her hand caressed his face. He was suddenly aware that her touch was not quite as electric as it had been only yesterday. What the fuck?! “Tell you what,” she was saying, studying him closely. “We both need to be on board with this for it to work. I mean, I could just decide, of course, but I want you to be supportive, too. “Let’s try it for a month. Just let me be in charge of when you get to come. I’m not going to be mean. I think you know that. Right?” He tried to meet her gaze. Damn, it was hard for him to have an adult conversation with a fully dressed woman when he was wearing a diaper and a onesie. “I know. I’m just…nervous.” She nodded, trying to divine his thoughts. “Scary to give up control, isn’t it?” “Yes,” he confessed. “The thing is, I think you might be right about this. But I like being able to have a say in this.” Julie took his hand and said to him, “Sweetheart, you are a spectacular doctor and a good man. But in our relationship, there are a few things that I have taken ownership of. And I haven’t been wrong yet, correct?” He knew he couldn’t hesitate here, even if he still had reservations about never being allowed to use the potty. “No, Ma’am,” he agreed. “Right,” she said. “This is another of those things. Remember that I get jurisdiction of—” and here she indicated his thighs—”about here”—and then moved her hand up to his waist—“to here, right?” She grinned at him. “That’s all I get. I take care of your diapers and your orgasms. You get everything else.” He nodded slowly. It didn’t sound significant, but…it was, wasn’t it? “Wait,” he said, drawing her into an embrace. “Aren’t we partners? What part of you do I get to control?” Julie smiled at him playfully. He thought he had her there. But she wouldn’t have brought it up if she didn’t have an answer to that question. “You control my heart, doctor. That’s the most important organ in the human body, isn’t it?” He sighed. It was hopeless. How was it that he had gone to medical school but couldn’t win a single argument with his nurse? Maybe he should have gone to law school. “So let’s try it for a month, okay, babe?” Julie chirped cheerfully. “I’ll make it worth your while…” Her hand tickled his belly, tracing the upper border of his diaper. “Yes, Ma’am.” Julie paused. “Speaking of trusting me, I’ve…got some…news. Tomorrow morning I’m covering a shift at the nursing home for my friend Hannah. She’s going away this weekend. We’d set this up months ago, before you lived here, and before–” she indicated his diapers–”all this.” He nodded. He knew she had worked at the home before his office. He’d never met Hannah, though. Julie was looking at him, like he was supposed to be understanding something important. “It’s a shift that starts at 6 tomorrow morning, until 2:30 in the afternoon. It’s a Saturday. You won’t be up yet.” His eyes widened. His morning routine. First thing in the morning–he’d have a very wet diaper, and then…he’d have a messy diaper. “Oh…” She nodded grimly. “I tried to get out of it, but I can’t find anyone else to cover. I have to do it. So…I asked my mom to come over to help out with the boys…and everything.” He paled. “Julie, I can’t–” She clasped his face in between her warm palms. “Of course you can, baby. My mom knows all about you and your schedule, and she’ll be expecting to change a dirty diaper. It’s fine. She’ll be professional and efficient, just like I was at the beginning. After you get that out of the way, you’ll be old friends, I’m sure,” she said, smiling at him. “This is just like everything else. You’ll need to trust me. There is no need to be overly embarrassed about your poops. Get over it.” She turned to leave the room, then turned back. He was still frozen to the spot, unable to move. “And by the way, this is obviously a fairly big favor she is doing us both, so I expect you to be as polite and helpful to her as you are for me. Be a VERY good boy tomorrow. I don’t want to get a bad report from her about your behavior.” He stood there for several minutes after she left the room. His girlfriend had arranged for her mother to change his messy diaper tomorrow–had essentially decided he needed a babysitter, that he couldn’t be trusted to take care of the boys, or himself, for a few hours on a weekend. He had been fully demoted to being a toddler in Julie’s house, without any autonomy or decision-making ability. He didn’t know whether to be more embarrassed or offended by the situation. They went to a park during the afternoon, then he had some clinical work to do online. By bedtime, he hadn’t figured out how to change his fate the next day. Not surprisingly, Julie was not in the mood for sex. She’d hinted as much earlier when she’d noticed his inattentiveness. After changing him, she was instead buzzing around the bedroom picking out the things she needed to wear in the morning. He watched her nervously from the bed, freshly taped into a clean, thick nighttime diaper. “What if we use the morning as an audition for me to show you how self-sufficient I can be? I’m sure I can change myself. And it’s low stakes. I’m not going anywhere during the day, so if I leak, big deal–” Julie had taken her clothes into her bathroom so she could get dressed in the morning without bothering him. “I think that if we decide to try that, I want to be home for it. Tomorrow is not the day for experiments.” She turned out the bathroom light and climbed into bed with him. “But if–” “Baby, that’s enough. I told you, Mom knows all about your diapers, and is expecting to change you after breakfast.” He reddened all over again, thinking about how that conversation must have gone. “But–” “I know you are stressed about it, baby, but she has changed poopy diapers before. It’s already been decided. Please remember your manners, okay?” She waited for him to answer. “Yes, ma’am,” he said. “But Julie, I–” “Please no more. I need you to be a big helper tomorrow. Andrew and Thomas can be a handful at times, and it would be nice if you are around to lend a hand. I need to get some rest now. I do love you!” she yawned, and turned over before he could respond. He wasn’t surprised that she had shut him down. This was the kind of discussion that wasn’t really a discussion. But he was dreading the morning. Sleep did not come easily to him. He tossed and turned for more than an hour, imagining having to go to Mrs. Davis with a loaded diaper and ask her to change him. He imagined her face as she smelled his mess. He imagined their new relationship as babysitter and toddler. Suddenly he thought of an idea. If he could wake up super early and have his breakfast and coffee before Julie had left, maybe she could change him. What time would that be? She had to be at the home by six, so 4:30 should do it, right? That was early, but it reminded him of residency days. He could do it, and catch up on his sleep tomorrow night. He set his alarm, an old digital clock on his side of the bed. He relaxed a bit, happy that he had come up with the workaround he needed, and was finally able to fall asleep. Chapter 23 He awoke to a bright bedroom and the sounds of dishes and happy boys in the kitchen. He was disoriented. Drawn by the smell of coffee, he groggily got up and padded into the kitchen wearing nothing but his diaper and onesie. He froze in the doorway when he saw Mrs. Davis sitting at the table with Andrew and Thomas. She looked up and saw him, a surprised hint of a smile on her face. Oh, shit, he thought. It was Sunday, and Mrs. Davis was here babysitting. But– What had happened? Why hadn’t his alarm awakened him? Rather than engage, he quickly backed away and entered the bedroom. He went to the alarm, which was switched to the “off” position. Had he imagined turning it on? Or had Julie turned it off? Well, crap, this was a nightmare. He should–maybe he– He heard Julie’s voice in his head. “I don’t want a bad report…” He knew he didn’t have a choice, and his heart sank. He wanted to make Julie happy, even if it was embarrassing for him. He swallowed hard, a feeling of dread settle over him. But maybe he could wear pants over his diaper for Mrs. Davis? She probably didn’t know about that little rule, right? He tried and failed to get his jeans over his swollen nighttime diaper, so he went with some sweatpants. He didn’t like the way they bulged, but it was better than just the onesie. He waddled out again to the kitchen. Mrs. Davis and the boys were still sitting at the table, Thomas explaining to his grandmother the difference between two little action figures he had with him. Mrs. Davis glanced over at him as he entered, but to his relief, didn’t say anything about his sweats. He noticed a steaming cup of coffee at the empty chair, and he sat down there. Thomas paused to take a breath, and Mrs. Davis took the opportunity to ask how many pancakes he’d like. Pancakes! This was a treat. “Um, three, please?” he asked. And then Thomas had to show him his little figures and tell him about the story they had been playing before breakfast. Andrew tried hard to add what he thought were important elements to the story as well. It was charming, and he found it hard to be anxious or embarrassed during the meal. Mrs. Davis helped them down from the table when they were finished, and they scampered off to continue playing in the living room. “Julie was never quite so into those action figures when she was little. She played and had quite the imagination though.” Mrs. Davis smiled at the thought. He was taken back to his own childhood and realized that he did have little guys he played with. “Maybe it’s a boy thing? I had little superheroes and dinosaurs that were part of my adventures.” Mrs. Davis was gazing at him, a pensive smile on her face. “I bet you were an adorable little boy. Kids grow up too fast, don’t they?” He mumbled his agreement. He hadn’t been a parent, but he knew this was something all parents said. Mrs. Davis stood up and cleared the dishes. “I’m so glad you are part of Julie’s life. She seems so happy now.” She brought him another cup of coffee, which he accepted. “She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said honestly. “Even–” He’d been about to say, “Even with the diapers,” but then realized that would be way too awkward. He tried to complete a reasonable sentence. “Even though stepping into this family was kind of unexpected. Those boys scared me at first. Now I can’t imagine life without them,” he told her. She sat back down. “That must be a tough thing to do, jumping into their lives like that. But they clearly love you. To them, you are a part of this family,” she said, smiling. “And thank goodness. They need someone male around here. I’ve seen you down on the floor, wrestling with them. They just adore it.” He smiled at the thought. They were like little bear cubs sometimes, crawling on him. He noticed they did treat him differently than they treated Julie. He felt like he was contributing something, and it was nice. “Well,” she said. “I definitely don’t mean to pressure you, so don’t take this that way, but you fit well into this family. We’d be happy to have you more permanently, if it works out for you and Julie.” He swallowed. He’d thought about that, of course. How could he not? Julie was the best person he’d ever met. She nurtured everyone she met, and would make a solid partner. He was deeply in love with her. But…he’d always thought the man was supposed to be in charge. He’d never felt entirely comfortable with that, and had instinctively imagined an equal partnership in a relationship. But his relationship with Julie was not either of those things. She was definitely in charge, and as educated as his was, it still embarrassed him a little. She said she claimed ownership over only a few things, and they did discuss and debate things together. She listened to him. His opinion mattered. But he harbored no doubts about what would happen if there was a stalemate and a decision needed to be made. At work, he was the boss. And he made a thousand decisions every day that affected big parts of people’s health. So in some ways it was a relief to cede decision-making control to Julie when they left work. He thought he could live with that decision permanently, especially as his trust in her and love for her grew. But it was still a leap. He wasn’t sure if he was ready. But what else did he need to know? She loved him, and was willing to take care of even the most intimate (and disgusting!) parts of him. She was weird in some ways, but wasn’t everyone? But would he always have to wear diapers? It seemed– All of a sudden he became aware of Mrs. Davis studying him. He’d gotten lost in his thoughts. “Ahem. That is very kind, Mrs. Davis. You have raised a wonderful daughter. She is…kind, and generous, and caring.” Mrs. Davis smiled. “Yes, Julie is a natural nurse, isn’t she? She has always known what she wants, and usually does a good job going after it. I’ve tried to teach her some secrets about that, of course. Tried to help her make good decisions. She is a little stubborn, but it is usually about the right things. There was only one time she got lost.” “Her ex-husband? She’s mentioned something about that, but we haven’t talked in much detail.” Mrs. Davis got up from the table. “Well, it isn’t my story to tell, of course. You could ask her. We could see potential trouble, but she wanted to believe. In the end it worked out okay, but it was hard. I think it changed her, of course. It had to.” She rinsed plates in the sink, then turned around and apparently caught sight of the boys in the other room. “And, of course we got some wonderful gifts from that terrible relationship. And speaking of them, would you mind keeping an eye on them for a few minutes while I clean up?” He was done with breakfast and coffee. “Yes, ma’am. Happy to help.” He stood up and became more self-conscious again about his soaking wet diaper. It was hard to walk naturally in it when it was this wet. If Mrs. Davis noticed, she didn’t say anything. He felt grateful for that. He waddled out to the living room. The boys were deeply engrossed in a story with their little action figures, the coffee table featuring prominently in one of them becoming lost. At his appearance, they rushed to update him on the situation. He expressed appropriate concern to them so they’d keep playing. At the same time he felt that familiar pressure start to build in his lower abdomen. For a few moments during breakfast, he had wondered if he could avoid having Mrs. Davis change a messy diaper, but that wasn’t going to happen. He thought about asking her if she would mind letting him use the potty. Maybe she wouldn’t want to change him and could see the advantage in that? But what if she told Julie? He thought back to trying to sleep with his bottom burning. Even avoiding the embarrassment of having Mrs. Davis change a messy diaper, of her knowing he pooped in his diaper, wasn’t worth that chance. As if reading his mind, she appeared in the doorway. “Can you give me a few more minutes to get some things ready for you boys? Then we can take care of changing some nighttime diapers.” “Yes, ma’am, it’s no problem,” he responded agreeably, but noticed the wording. “You boys.” While they had had an adult conversation, his diaper also meant he belonged to the “babysat” contingent, not the “babysitting” side. A cramp hit. It was time. And within a few moments, he had pushed out a load into his diaper. At least she wasn’t here to witness that. Maybe she had thoughtfully left him alone to give him a little dignity? He could smell himself now, but the little guys were typically oblivious. They’d found the lost character, but now a book-shaped monster was threatening them. Mrs. Davis re-entered the room, surveying the males with hands on her hips. She looked first to the little ones, who were so deeply engrossed they didn’t notice her. Her eyes turned to him, and cheerfully said, “I think they’ll be okay for a few minutes. Your diaper is hanging pretty low. How about if we take care of you first?” He swallowed and nodded. “Yes, ma’am, thank you.” She smiled. “I love your manners,” she said, as he passed her on the way to the bedroom. He entered the bedroom and saw the changing pad laid out on the bed, and wipes, powder, and a new diaper awaiting him as well. He paused, suddenly acutely embarrassed about what was to happen. But Mrs. Davis swept into the room behind him. “Whew. It smells like you need a change, too,” she said, smiling. “Why don’t you get those pants off and lie down on the bed? That’s how Julie does it, right?” “Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled, as he took off his sweats, centered himself on the pad, and laid back. “I’m so sorry you have to do this. I told Julie I was more than capable–” “Oh, hush,” Mrs. Davis said. “It’s no trouble.” She reached down to unsnap his onesie. “I don’t even need a diaper for…well, this. But she really wants me to use it all the time, and she doesn’t like me using the bathroom. She won’t really tell me why,” he said, aware that he was talking to quell the embarrassment. He wanted her to know it wasn’t his idea, and that he wasn’t a complete invalid. Mrs. Davis had untaped his diaper. “Shh, I know.” She wiped his penis, cleaning his front quickly and efficiently. “Can you lift your legs now?” she asked. He grabbed his knees and pulled them open as Julie had taught him. “Perfect,” he heard. “Julie has taught you well.” She pulled the diaper away from him and used it to clean him, front to back. “And she keeps you so well shaved. Very nice.” He was sure his face was bright red from the burning he felt in his cheeks. “Julie told me that you don’t like to poop in your diaper. She said you need the diapers because you wet your pants, but that it is just easier to keep you in diapers the whole time. Is that what she told you?” she went on, reaching over to get a wipe. He nodded, deciding not to argue about whether he routinely wet his pants. “Yes, ma’am. It’s–well, it’s obviously just so embarrassing, but she doesn’t want to debate it. I can’t imagine it is easier for her. Or pleasant for that matter,” he noted, feeling the familiar coldness of the wipe clean his bottom. It made him clench his sphincter; that was always a little shock to his system. But it warmed up quickly. Mrs. Davis was obviously experienced. She was fast, too! She smiled grimly. “That’s my girl. I can’t speak for her, but sometimes there are hidden reasons for an action that help explain it.” Mrs. Davis rolled the diaper up. “Okay, lift a little?” He felt the diaper removed and watched her tape up the dirty diaper and set it aside. She looked pensive. She opened the new diaper, seemingly considering something. “I guess I can tell you,” she decided. “Okay, up again?” She slid the diaper under him. “Did you know that I keep her father in diapers?” His eyes widened. He was stunned. What?!! Of course he didn’t know. He’d never met the man. ‘Kept him in diapers?’ “What? Why? What’s wrong?” She sighed. “Well, nothing, other than he’s a man.” He instinctively let his legs fall apart so she could powder him, which she did liberally. He blinked, confused. “A man? What does that have to do with it?” She brushed off her hands and pulled the diaper up between his legs. She considered her words. “I…have found…that he is a better husband and was a better father when he was dependent on me for…his…bathroom needs. So, long story short, that is how we have always done it. For decades now.” He was stunned. That was truly bizarre! But–very similar to his and Julie’s arrangement. Mrs. Davis pulled down the front of his onesie. “Julie said you can wait to get a shower until later when she is home, so if it is okay with you, we’ll wait to get you new clothes, too.” He hardly cared at this point. “That’s fine with me. Thanks. But–so–” She nodded and started snapping his onesie. “Yes, so that is the parental model Julie had growing up. We have a wonderful relationship, so she probably internalized and, what’s the term? Idealized it.” Mrs. Davis put away the wipes and powder. She smiled at him. “So, you see, it doesn’t surprise me to see your arrangement. And I know it doesn’t reflect on you or mean that you can’t take care of yourself. You are a good man, and you listen to your girlfriend. That’s all. And I can’t tell you how much that means to me. So thank you.” He sat up, overwhelmed. How much of their arrangement was him, or the need to be efficient at work, and how much was just the way Julie had been brought up? He had so many questions, and so many new things to consider. Mrs. Davis, however, had moved on. “Okay, well, I’ve got to get out and take care of Andrew and Thomas now before they leak. I’m not sure what you’ve got to do this morning, but you are welcome to play with us. I’ve got some crafts, and I think we’ll probably head out for a walk once it warms up.” He nodded, distracted. But he remembered to be polite. “Thank you. I’ve got some little things to do, but I’m happy to come along and help out where I can.” Mrs. Davis left the room. He was stunned, but some pieces certainly did fall into place. Why Julie had thought his wearing diapers would be a reasonable solution, why she wasn’t embarrassed about it. But did she think he needed to be a “better” boyfriend? What had he done wrong to make her think that? She hadn’t even known what he was like as a boyfriend before he wore diapers for her. Why hadn’t she ever told him about this? The rest of the morning passed quickly. He worked a little, then played with the boys to give Mrs. Davis a break. She asked him once before lunch if he needed a change. “No, ma’am,” he said. “I don’t think so.” He wasn’t too surprised when she came over and prodded his diaper to confirm. She nodded. “I agree. You’ll last a while. Carry on.” The morning with Mrs. Davis had gone well, for all of his worrying. She, like Julie, was matter-of-fact about the diaperings. She hadn’t belittled him, just treated it like a fact of life. He was grateful to her for that, even if she sometimes lumped him in with the little boys at times. They enjoyed a nice lunch, then had a walk. The boys were changed and put down for a nap. Mercifully, there was no talk of napping for him. He was reading a medical journal when he became aware of Mrs. Davis tidying up. He looked at the clock. It was mid-afternoon, time for Julie to come home. Her gaze fell upon him, and she paused. “Let’s get you changed into a nice dry diaper before Julie comes home.” He protested, “I’m not that wet, I can wait.” Sure, Mrs. Davis was kind and professional about the whole thing, but did he constantly have to be on his back around these women? Besides, he was right in the middle of an article about– She shook her head. “You boys would go all day in a wet diaper if you could. No, it’s not nice for her to come home to a wet diaper. Let’s go. We’ll get you dry and comfortable.” He opened his mouth again, but realized Julie’s mom had made up her mind. Decisive women ran in the family, apparently. He followed Mrs. Davis back into the bedroom and sat on the bed while she rummaged around for the supplies. “Okay, lie back,” she said as her hands went to his onesie again. “I love this fabric. So playful. Julie has turned into quite a seamstress. I’ll have to look around for more patterns for her. Just adorable.” He was a little alarmed at this. “Um, do you think you could put in a plug for something more, um, grown-up? You know, normal colors or something?” She had untaped him and was wiping him already. “Oh, but these are adorable. A onesie should be cute and child-like. But it wouldn’t hurt to have more variety. You probably need a ‘good boy’ onesie with trucks and footballs, and then one for when you need to be taken down a peg.” His eyes bulged. Where was this going? She had unfolded the new diaper. “Up–there you go. Tell me, how would you feel about a nice pink onesie with unicorns and princesses on it?” He choked. “No! Please! Why would I want that?” She smiled as she taped him up. “Ooh, struck a nerve with that one, huh? I’ll make sure to find a nice girly one to use as a punishment onesie. You don’t have one of those yet, right? For after a spanking?” He was speechless. How did she know about–had Julie told her everything? He just stared at her in embarrassment. She smiled as his cheeks burned. “I’m her mother. Of course we talk.” She cleaned up, disposed of the wet diaper, and snapped him back up. “Well, I’ve got some homework to do, apparently. Gotta get on that.” She went into Julie’s bathroom to wash her hands. He needed to talk to Julie about this onesie thing, and about talking to her mother about their most private– Just then he heard the front door open, so he set aside those thoughts and hurriedly waddled out of the bedroom. Julie was arriving home. She put her purse down on the counter and took in the sight of him entering the kitchen in his onesie. She smiled. “How’s my big boy? How was your day?” He opened his mouth, trying to think of something to say that sounded like what a boyfriend might say, not a child. Most of the day had been spent worrying about diapers, then privacy about onesies and spankings. But Mrs. Davis walked into the kitchen. Julie turned to her mother, eyebrows raised. “Everything go okay today, Mom?” Her mother smiled. “Of course, honey. All of your boys were well behaved, and you have a keeper in this one,” she said, indicating him. He blushed. Julie came over to him and put her arms around him fondly. “Oh, yeah? He didn’t give you too much trouble?” Mrs. Davis smiled and put on her jacket. “Trouble? Of course not. We got to know each other, and he was a big help with the boys.” She picked up her purse. “But I do hope it is the regular time tomorrow. This was an early morning.” Julie said, “Yep, that sounds good. I’m sure that was rough on everybody,” she added, giving him a look. “Let me walk you out, Mom.” When Julie returned, she surveyed the apartment. Perhaps awakened by the door closing repeatedly, the boys sleepily toddled out of their room. Seeing their mother, they broke into a run and gave her a big hug around her legs. “Oh, that’s what I needed after being at work on a Sunday!” she exclaimed, squatting down and letting the boys kiss and hug her. “Anyone need a change?” Andrew and Thomas submitted to having their diapers checked, but Julie found them clean and (mostly) dry. She turned to him. “How about you, mister?” Her hand cupped his crotch, though her eyes didn’t leave his. Her eyebrows rose. “A completely dry diaper?” “Just changed,” he explained shyly. Julie’s face showed surprise. She hadn’t expected him to need more than his morning change. “Your mom insisted.” She smiled. “She can be convincing.” She stood and gave him a deep kiss, ignoring her sons trying to get her attention. “Thank you for being such a good boy.” Then she turned to the kids. “Show me what you guys did today!” Chapter 24 He made supper for the family, which she appreciated after a day at work. The boys had asked for spaghetti, and, luckily, he could boil water. After Andrew and Thomas went to bed, he and Julie sat and talked on the sofa. “Mom said you didn’t put up any fuss at all today. Aren’t you big!” she said, stroking his hair fondly. He dropped his eyes. “Your mom was very kind. It was horribly embarrassing. But she was nice about it.” “Oh, good. I told you it would be fine.” Time to get some answers. He gathered his courage and asked, “Did you turn off my alarm? I’d set it so I could–um, say goodbye to you this morning.” She snorted. “I know why you set it, you goof. Yes, I turned it off. You need your weekend sleep. And apparently, just like I’d promised, it turned out just fine. You remember that next time you second-guess me.” He nodded. It still would have been better his way. On to the big revelation of the day. “You never told me that your dad wears diapers. Your mom says she thinks that’s why you don’t let me use your bathroom.” She paused, her eyebrows raised. “Did she now?” He sat up a little, looking at her fully. “Didn’t you think I’d like to know that? That I might find it relevant?” This time it was Julie who broke eye contact. She looked down for a moment, then back to him. “Yes, I know. It was just–it was just hard for me to find a way to explain. I realize you might be interested in that.” She thought for a moment. “I never knew my father before their…arrangement. He was always in diapers, and I grew up thinking it was common. He was never embarrassed in front of me, just matter-of-fact. I assumed he needed them,” she told him. “It wasn’t until I got married that Mom confessed it had nothing to do with medical need. She explained that Dad seemed more, um, devoted to her when she kept him in diapers. It wasn’t that he was abusive or mean. He was a good man, she said. But–he just seemed more present and emotionally available to her when he used diapers instead of the potty. “She decided that, for them, their relationship would be better if he stayed in diapers. He later agreed, apparently. He needed them, but not for a physical reason. He needed them to be the best husband and father he could be.” Julie’s eyes dropped again. “My marriage was terrible. I know I haven’t talked much about it. I don’t like to think about it. I thought I knew what I wanted in a man. Let’s just say, I was young then. It probably would have been better if I had an arrangement like my parents had, but…he…wouldn’t consider it. “Our relationship was terrible, even with two little babies. Maybe worse because of that, I don’t know. When I told him I wanted to try diapering him, I knew how it would go down. And it was predictably bad. He told me I was a freak. It’s not the only reason we got a divorce, but it might have sped the process a little.” She smiled grimly. “And that was okay with me. I’d given him an ultimatum, and he chose divorce. In retrospect, that was definitely the better option.” He reached out to her, his hand on hers. “I’m sorry you had to go through that marriage. But–I’m trying to understand how I’m–why you wanted me to–ugh, I don’t know. We weren’t in a relationship at the time. Were you thinking we should be? Do I remind you of your ex-husband in some way?” She laughed. “No, sweetie. I put you in a diaper because you needed it. We really did need to work better together.” She looked at him fondly. “But you can see why it seemed, oh, I don’t know, like, reasonable. You looked at me like I was crazy,” she said. “But it wasn’t weird to me. Just what I grew up with.” He sat next to her, in thought. This explained a lot, actually. Why an adult wearing a diaper wasn’t bizarre to her. Why it was the first solution she had thought of at work. Why she still thought he was datable even though she had changed his dirty diapers. He felt relieved that she didn’t think of him the same way as her ex-husband. But she rose now, apparently done with the conversation. “Let’s go to bed now. I had an early morning, you know.” Later as they snuggled together in bed, they were each lost in their own thoughts. Julie, satisfied from 2 orgasms he had given her, was pondering how lucky she felt. She had entered this relationship attracted but wary, wondering if she could persuade a physician to give up ultimate control to her. She hadn’t been been able to assume they’d have a personal relationship necessarily, but was just looking for a bigger say in her professional career. But she had fallen in love with his gentle and naïve openness, his willingness to follow her lead, which encouraged her to push him further down an unknown road. Now, that road seemed even more inviting and promising. She had been leery of another relationship, honestly, but this was on her terms. Her mother had shown her the way. He was under her thumb in such a personal and total way that she felt completely secure. She was delighted that he was actually diaper dependent, which was not something she’d known to expect. Her father, apparently, was not. But this development meant that she could be supportive and helpful, not pushy and controlling, and still keep his infantile side front and center. And while she had thought the diapers would be the key to keeping him humble and well controlled, now she realized that she had unintentionally stumbled upon another big key, never mentioned by Mom. Controlling orgasms was clearly more powerful than she had expected, and seemed to work well with the diapers. They kept his hands out of trouble. The longer he went without an orgasm, the more obedient and eager to serve he became, and the less likely he was to complain about the diapers. It was a perfect system! If he thought that this month of orgasm control was going to end, he would be surprised. She had heard of chastity cages; if he put up any kind of fuss, he would find himself locked in a cage inside of a diaper. A part of her almost hoped he balked at following her lead on this, but she also knew it would be better if he was invested in making it work. So she would have to make it fun for him, even if his sex life was changing forever… And hers was, too. She hadn’t known how much she liked the gentle domination that had evolved, but it worked for her! Yet another reason they’d never go back to him being in control. She considered the path ahead. She thought she had done a good job preserving his ego—a critical challenge with any man. She didn’t want him to be completely emasculated, just deferential to her. She had laid down the law, and he had accepted. He was getting more and more dependent on her, and yet remained the efficient, caring provider she had loved. He wasn’t going to cheat on her, she felt sure: as perfect a mate as he had turned into, wearing diapers probably made him less appealing to others. She had made him more attractive to her and less of a catch for others. He was the perfect partner, and he was all hers! She couldn’t be happier. “Baby, you still awake?” she asked quietly. He was. He was simply thinking about his unfulfilled sexual need. It was true that Julie had played with him a little, but she had decided he wasn’t going to cum tonight. She didn’t seem mad at him, so he guessed that it was just to keep him frustrated. “Yes, ma’am,” she heard him murmur. It was starting to give her a little sexual thrill to hear him say that. She cleared her throat. “I have a confession to make.” “Oh?” He’d been getting drowsy, but this roused him a little. She turned toward him in bed, and she reached out to caress his face. “I kind of like this.” He was confused. “Like what?” She stared into his eyes. “Us. Together.” She propped herself up on her elbow. “I like you here in the apartment, with my boys. I like you, in diapers, letting me change you.” She smiled. “And I really like that you let me decide when you get to come.” He swallowed. He wasn’t so sure that would always work for him. But…this probably wasn’t the time to argue, he could see. He smiled a bit to himself. Actually, there was never a good time to argue, was there? Her hand was tickling his chest now. “We’re good together, aren’t we?” He nodded and admitted what he had known for a while now. “Yes, ma’am, we are.” Julie swallowed, a bit nervously, it seemed to him. “What would you think about making this arrangement more, um, permanent?” He was thinking about the sex. He still wasn’t sure he liked the new system…but…maybe she wasn’t just talking about the sex. “What–” Now she was looking intently into his eyes. “What would you think of getting married?” she asked. He swallowed, but his throat was suddenly dry. “Is this a proposal?” She stared for just a moment, then nodded. Her voice was suddenly kind of husky. “Yes, I think it is.” He was surprised. Wasn’t he supposed to propose? But he admitted to himself that nothing about their relationship had been conventional. He’d thought about marriage. A lot, actually, since they’d been living together. But it was a leap. Sure, it was probably always a huge step, but this…this arrangement… Julie had asked him to do all sorts of bizarre things: wear and use diapers, poop and pee in front of her, allow her to change them and dress him in babyish clothes, allow her to spank him and control his orgasms. He thought back to the first day, when she’d fixed him with that “mom” look and told him to pull his pants down so she could diaper him. It had all followed from his decision to obey her at that moment. He hadn’t felt like he’d had a choice that day. Had he ever had a choice since then. Well, it seemed like he had a choice tonight. It was all incredibly embarrassing, but it had taken him down a spectacularly intimate path. She truly didn’t seem to care about things other people found humiliating or gross. He had gone with it. If she didn’t care, why should he? After wearing diapers for a few months, he wasn’t confident he could keep his pants dry. That wasn’t good, and it was a direct consequence of following Julie’s suggestions. But if he was with Julie, it didn’t really matter, did it? He realized that nothing really bad had happened to him since they had been together, despite all of her twisted instructions. There were some difficulties with how she wanted him to live, but with her help, it was easy. In fact, after a day full of making nonstop important decisions, how nice was it to come home and not have to worry about deciding anything? And now, he had to admit, he was accustomed to wearing diapers. After so much intimate touching and teasing, the smell of baby powder gave him an erection. Her “baby” voice, the quiet soothing voice she used when changing him, made him hard. Even that stern look she gave him, almost every day for some reason or another, turned him on. He realized he loved being babied by Julie. It had been a crazy ride so far that had challenged him. But he loved this woman. Maybe they could still work on his wetting problem. Prior to today, he had been sure she wouldn’t want him in diapers forever, but now he wasn’t entirely sure. Did it really matter, though? He smiled at her. “If I say yes, can we have sex tonight?” She laughed. “Definitely not.” He stared at her with an expression that said, Seriously?! She patted his cheek. “But I’ll make sure you enjoy it when we DO have sex. This time and every time.” Exasperated, he fell back on his pillow. She leaned over him and kissed him. “Have I ever steered you wrong yet? By this point, you should trust me, right?” He relaxed and realized she was right. Julie was always right. He was so happy with her. He would stay with her, in diapers, getting sex when she said so and being spanked when he angered her. Because somehow, now, that seemed like the place he had always been meant to be. So he answered her proposal the only way he knew how. He made sure she could hear his manners. “Yes, ma’am.” And she smiled.

I wouldn't say spanking is exclusive to BDSM, considering how it's a pretty appropriate element to include in both AR and ABDL type stories. My writing is pretty famous for its realism and slow build-up, so you're not always going to see diapers right at the beginning. My website lists stories by type; I don't do so for every part on my Patreon because that would make the page look a bit cluttered in my opinion. Hope that helps! --Lady Lucia Part Ten After sternly reminding me to stay seated at the table, Noelle trusted me alone long enough to retrieve one of her bags from where she had left it in the foyer upon arrival. It was certainly a temptation to dart upstairs in the name of finding something to prove my identity before she could catch me, but my still throbbing backside was enough to give me pause. Not only was there the chance that Miley’s babysitter would catch me before I made it that far, but Paige could certainly slow me down if I ran into her. Especially if she was in my bedroom at the moment, invading my private space with the excuse of finding me an outfit as my ‘older sister.’ There was also the lingering idea of just darting out of the house and making a break for our next door neighbor’s place. While Noelle had said she would chase if that happened, I would have a decent head start. It’s not like it was that far. But no, I needed to bide my time. There would be a better moment to steal away, with less risk involved. For now, I was going to keep being a ‘reformed’ Miley. Noelle returned with her bag. She sat down across from me, officially closing the potential window of escape I had just been given. Now she was directly watching me, and poised to shut down any attempts of mine to get up. She pulled out a slim binder and a 7th grade science textbook. I couldn’t remember if it was the same one that I used back in middle school. “Start with the first two handouts in the binder,” Noelle said, sliding the small stack of materials across the table, “You may use the book to find any answers you need.” And that was that. I was working on Miley’s summer catch-up assignments. A quick skim of the two pages was enough to tell me that the ‘life science’ I would be focusing on was cell structure and function. The title of the handouts paralleled the second chapter of the book, which I ended up needing to open pretty quickly after starting. While I was able to answer maybe a fifth of the questions on sight, there were just too many little terms and details that I had forgotten over the years. Maybe I would have been fine with a multiple choice quiz, with selections that would spark my memory, but every part of the assignment Noelle had given to me required writing in the answers myself. I must have been quite the sight to Paige as she strutted into the kitchen. Sitting at the table, poring over a middle school textbook to find the answers I needed to complete the worksheet sitting in front of me. “Here you go, Miles,” she said. Managing to keep a straight face for the most part, save for the same idle smile she had upstairs, she walked over and set down a stack of clothes on the edge of the table. To justify her amused expression, Paige turned to Noelle and said, “Honestly, I’m impressed. None of the other babysitters were able to get Miley to work on her homework.” Noelle just shrugged. “Sometimes you just need a little negative reinforcement. What do you say to your sister, Miley?” ’Fuck this.’ Wanting nothing more than to stare down at the pages in front of me, or perhaps crawl into a hole to avoid the continuous embarrassment of being treated like this in my step-sister’s presence, I forced myself to get out the emotionless words. “Thanks, Paige.” “You’re very welcome, sis!” Paige chirped. Pushing her luck by patting me on the head like she had gotten away with numerous times before all this whenever she could catch me off guard with it, she said, “Now behave for Ms. Noelle, brat. This has been fun, but I have a game to get back to.” Fun? For a second, I was surprised she would say such a thing in Noelle’s presence. But then it dawned on me that Paige could very easily pull it off, considering she was my ‘older sister’ and finally seeing me disciplined properly after all the sitters failed to achieve something like this. Besides, our regular dynamic was evidence enough that sisters didn’t have to be particularly cordial to each other all the time. “Just ‘Noelle’ is fine,” the brunette said. She didn’t seem bothered by Paige’s casual smugness, but she at least made the effort to correct the name, “Thanks for the clothes, Paige. We’ll be here for a while.” “Sounds good,” Paige nodded, “Oh! I have a couple friends coming over in a bit. We’ll be in my room or the basement, so hopefully that won’t be an issue.” “Not a problem. I’m only here to watch Miley. Someone could have mentioned the sister thing, but that’s not your fault.” ‘Because Miley DOESN’T HAVE A SISTER.’ I tried to tell her as much earlier. “Sorry about that,” Paige replied, “Don’t worry, we’ll stay out of your way. We’ll probably order pizza or something, so the kitchen is all yours, too. I can order some for you and Miley, if you’d like.” Of course she was being nice to Noelle. That’s how Paige operated with pretty much every adult, whether it was sucking up to a teacher or painting herself as the older sister to Miley’s college-aged babysitter. I was way more concerned, however, with the fact that Paige’s friends would apparently be here to witness this. We had graduated, so it’s not like this humiliation would affect my reputation or anything, but I still didn’t want her and her obnoxious gamer friends teasing me about this for the rest of summer break. Paige said they’d stay out of our way, but I knew she would somehow arrange for them to see me trapped as ‘Miley.’ “I’ll think about it,” Noelle said, “Maybe if she’s good until then. Otherwise we’ll stick with something healthier.” I could feel another blush creeping up. They were back to talking about me while I was literally sitting right there, and Noelle was once again treating me like the difficult teenager she viewed me as. And, while I so badly wanted to speak up in my defense, it was yet another example of choosing my battles. For now, I’d have to suck it up and let Paige enjoy more of my situation. “Sounds good. I’ll check in when we think about ordering, then. And I’ll make sure my friends know to head right upstairs when they get here. No need to distract Miley, right?” “Right,” Noelle nodded. Without another look towards me, Paige sauntered off. Her body language alone was enough to show how content she was with how this was all playing out. To Noelle’s credit, she was a decent babysitter in terms of minimizing sister drama. She waited until Paige’s footsteps on the stairs and upstairs hallway had faded before speaking again. “Let’s take a small break,” she said. Gesturing towards the clothes I hadn’t had a chance to get a good look at aside from seeing a blue/white combo, Noelle told me, “You can get dressed now.” I doubted Paige had picked anything pleasant, but anything would be better than being stuck in a leotard when her friends arrived. So with an awkward, “Okay,” I got up and collected the outfit. Sure enough, Noelle felt the need to escort me to the bathroom. Apparently I had a long way to go before earning her trust. ------------------- Check out my website: www.ladyluciastories.com And my Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=73056590

Not dick pics, but I had to clear a bunch of people off my list who were posting hardcore porn.

Okay, folks. I want to apologize for having left this hanging for so long. I found myself focused on other stories and parts of my life, but I'm not the type of author to forget about story. This concludes Volume 2. I'm going to spend some time over the next several weeks proofing Volume before making it available in print and by kindle on Amazon, but first I intend to re-proof Volume 1 for Amazon as well the 10 or so chapters of I'm Not A Little Girl. As for future writing plans, I have a number of ideas in mind. The hard part is choosing which one to focus on next. But there will be a third volume of Done Adulting. I don't think Jamie's story is finished yet. _______________________________ Chapter 104 “It’s kinda awesome, isn’t it,” Ella said to Jamie. “What is?” “Deciding to have a dinner party and everyone else doing all the work. Like being able to afford caterers, but they’re free.” “Ha! Now that it’s been a few months, what do you think of the place now,” Jamie asked as he took a look around at the apartment. “It’s nice. It’s nice of Amanda to take the couch when I sleep over, too.” She played footsie with Jamie. “Almost feels weird being in a bed with a person my size in it. The bigs are … well, they’re just so big.” “I know what you mean. Going to sleep without that nagging worry a giant is going to roll over you.” “Mhmm.” Jamie was liking his bachelor pad, as he jokingly called it. When he wanted to get a laugh out of the neighbors, he referred to Amanda as his roommate. The neighbors, for their part, were getting used to see Jamie in the area behind their building, playing in the grass on his own, but only within the boundaries Amanda set. He couldn’t wait for the pool to reopen in the spring. “Do you like it here,” Ella asked him. “Are you used to it yet?” Jamie grimaced. “Honestly,” he said quietly not wanting Becky, Amanda, or Stacy to hear from the kitchen they barely fit in together, “it’s different. I thought it would mostly be different because I was going back and forth, but it’s also ...” He thought of how best to phrase it. “Mom and Manda are different. No, actually, they’re not. It’s just that there’s a different … dynamic, I guess is the word. I was so used to the three of us being a team, and we still are, but … I’m bad at analogies today. I guess I just mean I’m starting to see their personalities a little more clearly.” “Is that good or bad?” “Good. Guess I’m just getting to know them better. Manda especially. I think she is changing a bit, just the normal way people do when they’re out on their own for the first time.” “Growing up.” “Yeah.” “Dinner’s ready,” Manda announced. Jamie and Ella stood up from his playmat and made the short trip to the card table she’d borrowed. “Let’s see how well this works,” she said as she picked up Jamie and set him on her knee. Stacy did the same with Ella, with Beck seated to her right. “Thank you for having us over,” Stacy said again. “Of course! You had to see Ella’s drawing in person.” “You did a wonderful job with it,” Becky told her Ella again. “You’re very talented.” Becky admired the landscape scene brightening Jamie’s play area. “Thank you.” “Well,” Amanda said, “On behalf of Jamie and myself, I want to say welcome to our home.” “And I just wanted to add,” Jamie said, reaching out to take Becky’s hand, and looking intently at Stacy and especially Ella, “I’m glad we could be together as a family today.” Ella reached for her glass. “Let’s drink to that.” Becky was first to raise her glass. “To family. The ones we have and the ones we makes.” “Family,” Stacy repeated. “Family,” Amanda said. “To this family we made,” Jamie said. “To this family,” Ella echoed. “To all our families.”

I haven’t really been in a Jamie frame of mind. I think I need to regroup on the plot of the next phase of this saga before turning my usual amount of attention to it, but I also miss my characters. I couldn’t resist writing something today just to hear them talking. I think I needed it, and I think we all do right now. ____________________ Chapter 103 “It’s the first cold night,” Becky said as she pulled the plug from the tub. “It will get warm again. It’s just a cold snap,” Jamie told her as he stood up. She took down the towel, always impossibly fluffy to him, and wrapped it around him, lifting him from the tub and carrying him to the nursery, patting his feet dry as she went. “You like these cold nights,” she said. “Mhmm. They make everything cozier.” She stood him in front of the rocking chair and sat down, dried him off,and combed his hair with her fingers. “Can I look outside?” She smiled at him funny but did as he asked, picking him back up and taking him to the window. He reached out and opened it just a crack, leaned forward and took a deep breath through his nose. “You silly boy. What are you doing?” “It smells so good, the cold air.” She stepped forward and did as he had done. He was right. “It does. How about we get you bundled up, and then we can go sit on the breezeway for a little bit?” She laid him on the changing table and readied his bottom for his nighttime diaper, smoothing the cream onto his cheeks and into his creases. She taped a diaper snugly around his hips and sprinkled just a little powder on his belly, rubbing it in with her hands. “Does that tickle?” “A little,” he said as he squirmed and yawned. “You can’t fall asleep yet.” “But it’s bedtime.” “It’s almost bedtime.” She chose a sleeper from his dresser, the grey one with the bunny ears, and got him zipped in. She picked him back up, laying him across her chest, plucked his blanket from his crib, and carried him to the breezeway. Kazoo followed them out, laying himself at Becky’s feet as she sat down on the swing. “Are you warm enough,” she asked him. “Mhmm. Are you?” “I am, because I have this snuggly bunny on me.” She spread the blanket over him, tucking it in around his feet. “Was it a good day?” “Mhmm. A very good day.” “What made it so good?” “Being together.” His mommy kissed him on top of his still damp hair, smelling so sweet with the little shampoo she used to keep his hair so soft. “Ready?” “Mhmm.” She began to undo her pajama top. “Goodnight.” “Goodnight, Baby Bear.” “I love you.” “I love you more.” She offered a breast to Jamie, who latched on. She pulled the blanket over his head, reached around and patted his thickly diapered bottom through the fuzzy material as he nursed his bedtime milk. He’d be asleep in a minute, and she would let him finish feeding and carry him back to his crib, where she’d gently lay him down with his bear tucked in his arm. “Mama’s sweet boy,” she whispered. “Mama’s bestest boy.”

Chapter 102 “He just got excited,” Becky assured Jamie as she put a bandaid on his finger. “He didn’t mean anything by it.” “I know,” Jamie said as he winced. The wipe she used once more to clean the scratch burned. “I think he feels very guilty,” Jamie said, looking at Kazoo who was looking back at him. “You’re so brave,” Becky said as she kissed his finger and straightened up to throw away the bandaid wrapper. It was unlike Kazoo to nip, but he and Jamie had been wrestling so hard. “You’re so brave,” she said again as she picked Jamie up, putting her hands under his butt so he was looking at her with his legs wrapped around her waist. “I’m okay,” he said. Becky kept reassuring him, and he didn’t think he was giving any sign he needed to be. She was so attentive after he spent the weekend at the apartment. He wondered if she wanted him to need her because she needed him. She liked being needed, as do most who adopt a little. “Did you have fun this weekend?” “Yeah. Ella’s almost halfway done with the painting, and I let Yasmine practice littlesitting with me.” “You did? Was she good at it?” “Mhmm. I fell asleep while she was feeding me. What did you do?” “I saw your Aunt Laurie and your cousin. It’s almost his birthday.” “What will you get him?” “I don’t know yet. What do you think?” “He likes trains.” “We could go on a train ride,” Becky suggested. “We could make a day of it. We can go to Bientovalle.” “What’s there?” “Lunch and cool stores and parks and stuff.” “That would be fun for him.” “And you.” “And you,” Jamie countered. There was a pause in the conversation, and Becky rubbed his back. He wasn’t sure where the question came from, but without thinking about it, he asked, “Are you happy?” The question jolted Becky. “What? Where did that question come from?” She patted his back with a solid couple of thumps. “Of course I am. Why would you ask that?” “I don’t know,” Jamie said, regretting even the thought. “You don’t need to worry about that.” “I don’t. I just wondered. You...” He stopped and grimaced mildly. “You’re not lonely?” “No, honey, I’m not lonely.” She looked down at him and kissed his hair. “You’re very sweet.” “It’s just, when I’m here, we’re always together now, almost, and now you have the house to yourself a lot.” “I miss you when you’re not here, but I do stuff. I see Jane and Lauren and Danny. I have friends over.” “And it’s enough?” “Yes, I promise.” “I used to be lonely.” She adjusted him so he was leaning against her chest, his cheek resting on her. “And then we found each other. And that made me very happy.” “That’s what I mean. Do you wish you had someone on the days I’m not here? Isn’t it hard sometimes being an empty nester?” “For a few days? I manage. Kazoo keeps me company.” The dog picked up his head and began wagging us tail at the mere mention of his name. “Would it make you feel better if I said I’m lost without my Baby Bear?” “It would make me sad.” “You don’t sound like you believe me.” “It’s just ... I was lonely for a really long time. I just don’t want you to not have someone to share with. Like Stacy. She has Ella, but she doesn’t really have any friends.” That wasn’t a fair comparison, because Becky had many friends. She had a robust social life for someone her age. “Stacy is lonely?” “I don’t think so. I mean, she doesn’t have any family or close friends, but I don’t think so ... I just mean ... I don’t know what I mean. I’m glad you’re happy and not lonely.” “Where did this come from,” she asked. “I don’t know. It wasn’t a good question. Can we forget about it?” “If you’re sure.” “I’m sure.” She patted his back some more. “I could call Stacy, see if maybe she wanted to get together just the two of us,” she said off handedly. “Do you think she’d like that?” “Probably. You guys always seem to have a good time when we’re together.” “Maybe I’ll do that.” She looked down at Jamie. Sometimes he seemed to invent things to worry about, as though he needed to find something to justify his anxiety. It was sweet of him to worry about her. “What about you,” she asked. “Are you happy?” “Mhmm.” “You seem a little ...” She searched for the right word. “Subdued lately.” Clingy is the word she wanted to use. She liked that he was affectionate, but since the move, he seemed to be spending a lot more time at her side, or on her, than he had before. He didn’t play as much. It made some sense after the move, but it had been several months. She moved his bedtime, wondering if he were perhaps just not getting enough sleep, and asked him several times whether he felt okay, but he said he did. “When you talked to Dr. Mary during the summer, did that help,” she asked. “Yeah. She’s always helpful. She helped a lot with Ella, too.” “How would you feel about seeing her again for a little while? Would that be helpful?” “Why,” he asked, sitting up. “Do you think I need to?” “I think it can always be helpful to have someone neutral to talk to. Don’t you?” “Yeah,” he said, putting his head back down. “It is.” “Maybe we can go see her again.” “Okay,” Jamie said, unsure why she thought he needed that. He was open to it; he really did believe having a therapist to talk to helped regardless of how he was feeling. His question had obviously led her to questions of her own, not what he’d intended, and he wasn’t sure what he intended. “But what should we do with our afternoon? Anything you want. Just pick something,” she said. “We can go out for a second lunch, or we can go shopping, or the park, anything.” “Will you build with me?” “Sure I will.” She stood up and set him on the floor. “Play nice with Kazoozey, and I’ll go get your blocks.”