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Chapter 5 Alera cringed as she watched her victory interview on video. She’d been drunk on success, and had made the mistake of being honest. Why did she have to mention Saehwong at all? At best, people would think she was arrogant. Worse yet, she might have given up a competitive advantage. Now, her opponents would know to study Saehwong’s games to prepare for her. The previous day had started terribly. She’d been down zero to two, and needed to win three matches in a row to secure advancement. To top it off, she’d woken in the early hours of the morning up to a weird, cold, clammy feeling between her legs. She hadn’t bothered to take off the diaper before bed, exhausted, and now she was glad: she’d wet herself in her sleep. Alera couldn’t even remember the last time that happened. Kindergarten, maybe. It had never been a problem for her. She couldn’t get so caught up in something that she forgot to go when she was asleep. But then again, she was under a lot of stress, and Alera vaguely recalled reading something about how bedwetting might surface under conditions of extreme stress, even in older children. Except she wasn’t a child. Wasn’t supposed to be a child. She’d cried, which she now recalled with a blush; she didn’t like Patrick seeing her like that. But Patrick knew what to do. He’d launched into a motivational speech which, frankly, didn’t motivate her so much as it shook her out of her self-pity. She remembered all the preparation she’d done, all the things she’d planned to do which she’d forgotten under the heat of the lamps and the roar of the audience. She’d worn noise-canceling headphones, which didn’t so much cancel out the noise of the crowd as transform it into a visceral bass roar. She could feel the weight of hundreds of pairs of eyes directed at her. Well, more probably, directed at the large screens showing her gameplay, but that distinction had not seemed important at the time. But she’d done it, and she was through—no matter how awkward her victory interview had been. Now, she had to do it all again, except in front of a larger crowd, with even more on the line. The thought filled her with trepidation, but also, somehow, excitement. Alera felt far more ready to take on the challenge now than she’d done just twenty-four hours previously. She crawled out of bed and nudged Patrick awake. She was wearing only a t-shirt and her diaper, which she hadn’t dared take off after the previous night’s debacle. It was clammy, but only from sweat. She hadn’t peed the bed again. Even half-asleep and bleary-eyed, Patrick had the decency to avert his eyes as she went into the bathroom to change. Her Butterfly jersey now smelled like two days’ worth of sweat, but she’d hung it over the shower door to air out overnight, and it would have to do. There was no way she wasn’t going to wear it. It wasn’t exactly a good-luck charm. But it was a physical representation of Patrick’s support. It reminded her that she wasn’t all alone in this. Alera looked at the package of diapers. Shook her head when she remembered that she’d disposed of one in the trashcan the previous day and now the can had been emptied. Someone, probably a maid at the hotel, had disposed of her used underwear, and might well have seen it. Thankfully, she wouldn’t ever have to meet this person. She considered forgoing a diaper today, but then she remembered the feeling of all those eyes on her. What if something happened? With a sigh, she stepped into the shower, rinsed off the night sweat, dried herself off, and affixed the shameful white square between her legs. At least nobody had noticed so far. Maybe she could go a whole weekend without anyone but her friend finding out. She found Patrick curled up in a chair, engrossed in something on his phone. He was smiling. “That James?” She asked, all innocence. Patrick blushed. “How did you know?” “The halo of light that appeared above your head was a nice clue,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him. Patrick covered his face theatrically with his hands. “Is it that obvious?” He asked. “It totally is. I wish I’d filmed you. I could use that video to tease you for months.” “Thanks,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Are you ready for the semifinals?” “As ready as I can be,” she said. Together, they walked down into the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast. Alera wasn’t hungry, but she knew she should eat. She picked some toast and smeared some jam on, not even bothering to check what kind it was. She didn’t have any allergies: what did it matter? It was fuel. Patrick spent most of breakfast texting with someone, probably James, while Alera tried to force herself to eat her toast with a spread that was probably very expensive and exclusive, but tasted like an unripe raspberry fucked a tadpole while slathered in a strawberry smoothie. She struggled to keep a straight face and nod as one of the hotel staff passed by the table and asked if the food was to her liking. James was completely oblivious. She really was happy for him, even a little envious. Patrick’s problem had been a single person’s acceptance; but, as she’d told him, even if that person rejected him, that didn’t mean there was anything wrong with him. It meant, simply, that a single person didn’t see all his wonderful qualities. Alera’s problem was far more quantifiable: she had to win, and if she didn’t, then it was because she wasn’t good enough. As simple and brutal as that. Alera pushed away the remains of her disgusting jam-that-might-have-been-something-else and sighed. “I’m going to the practice room,” she said. It was only three hours until she had to perform on stage. “Hold on,” Patrick said, trying to swallow far too much toast-with-fried-eggs for one mouthful. “I’m coming with you,” he tried to say, although it came out as “’m cmphing w’ yew.” “You go on texting your boyfriend,” Alera said, giggling. “One, he’s not my boyfriend...” “Yet.” “One, he’s not my boyfriend yet, and two, I really do want to see you prepare and just be present. You know, if you need something that is not in any way technical, because if it is, I’m afraid I can only tell you how to beat a dude who’s blind and lacks an arm and a leg, maybe. And I reckon your opponent’s going to be fully healthy and not disabled and smarter than me.” “Thanks,” she said. She gave him a smile that was all eyes and no lips. A smile that said thank you for being here for me even when you don’t know what I need, the kind of smile that can only pass between long-time friends or lovers. The practice room was actually a series of small conference rooms requisitioned by the tournament organizers. Each room held three high-end gaming computers with large 27-inch screens. She ducked her head into one, found there was already someone there, and backed out. She wanted to be alone to think, if at all possible. She always thought best alone. No, that wasn’t quite true. When she discussed the game with Saehwong, she felt as if she was a better version of herself, and yet she was as comfortable as if she’d been alone. He had a way of making her feel like she was unfurling her wings, a pupa escaping its chrysalis to discover it’s now a butterfly. She found herself smiling, for no good reason. They found an empty room and Alera sat down to log in to Vanguard. She was greeted by a message from Saehwong. It took her a while to piece together the meaning out of the hurried and ungrammatical sentence structure, but the gist of it was this: he had a very important game he needed to prepare for. The finals of the Korean team league. He was the team captain, and the player expected to carry his team to victory. But now, he had some doubts about his preparation. He needed a second pair of eyes. It was simultaneously flattering—he probably had a whole team of Korean analysts, and he wanted her input—and also really not what she needed right now. She had three hours to prepare for the most important match of her life, and needed every second to prepare. “What is it?” Patrick asked. “It’s Saehwong. He wants to discuss some strats for a big game,” she said. “Tell him you have your own big game you need to prepare for,” he said. “Patrick, I promised to help him. Besides, I can use his preparation for my own game,” she tried. “Alera, no! You need to focus on yourself. This is the most important day in your career. To be honest, this might be the start or the end of your career as a professional player.” It all made so much sense. She was a player, not a coach, and her job was to win her own games first, not lose her own games second, and maybe help some other players win their games a distant third. But on the other hand, there was no one in the world who could talk to her like Saehwong. In just a short time, she’d found herself craving those conversations. He understood the thing she cared about more than anything in the world—except possibly her mother and her best friend, of course except them, what was she thinking—on a level that no one else she had ever met did. He allowed her to lose herself in the game and be perfectly present in a world beyond the world she lived in. A world of strategies, of attacks and counterattacks, of defensive macro economy and aggressive militarism, of fakes and double-bluffs. And she had promised to help him, and he had helped her so much already. “I’ll give him thirty minutes,” she said. “Alera...” Patrick tried. “Only thirty minutes.” She responded to his message. He sent her a spreadsheet detailing a particular strategy, with notes in Korean (which she couldn’t read). She could immediately see the problem, though. It was a defensive strategy that relied on his opponent not being able to mount a decisive attack until a particular timing window, at which point the economic advantage he had built by forgoing early military would allow him to launch a superior attack of his own. Only, it was slightly too greedy. The strategy called for investing almost all your resources into building your economy, and almost none whatsoever in defensive military, and she could already see several ways in which his opponent could overwhelm him with military units. In practice, launching that attack would be difficult—she could see why Saehwong thought this was a viable strategy—but not impossible. Likely, he had won a lot with the opening in practice, but encountered someone who knew how to exploit the strategy’s weaknesses. It was a potentially brilliant strategy that was flawed, but not, she thought, irreparably so—precisely the kind of thing she lived and breathed for. Alera asked a series of questions, then began scribbling notes. Patrick was shaking her shoulders. “What?” She snapped, turning to give him a death-stare. “You have thirty minutes until you need to be backstage. Have you gotten any work done on your own preparation?” Her mouth fell open. She hadn’t played a single practice game, or reviewed her notes on her own preparation. All she’d done was waste two hours talking with Saehwong about a strategy he planned to use, which she couldn’t possibly use, since she only knew it theoretically, and had never tried it in practice. Fuck me. “No,” she said, blushing. “I got caught up.” “Figures,” Patrick said. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She said, irritable. She didn’t have time to argue with her friend, not if she planned to do any preparation whatsoever for her match, but his tone annoyed her. As if she’d confirmed something he’d long suspected, and now he was entitled to be smug about it. “I think you’re in love with Saehwong,” he said. “What?” What the actual…? “I’ve known him for a week, I’ve never met him in real life, and I barely even know what he looks like. Or what his real name is. I’m only ninety percent confident he’s actually a he.” Patrick put a hand on her shoulders and give them a squeeze. It was a tender gesture, not at all smug or superior. “There’s more than one kind of love, Al. I think you’ve found your platonic soulmate. Really, I’m kind of jealous.” She put a hand to her cheek to hide her blush. “Really, Patrick, you’re jealous of me? I’m jealous of you. You have a real person, with warm skin that you can touch, right in our hometown, and you envy me for having an internet friend thousands of miles away that shares my hobby?” Patrick put his hand on her cheek. “Alera, there’s falling in love and then there’s love. What do you think of before you fall asleep?” “What kind of question is that? What’s that got to do with anything?” “Just answer,” he said, with the patience of a monk. “You,” she said. “Also, Vanguard, I guess.” “And what’s the first thing you think of when you wake up?” “You, again,” she said. “Also, the game. Obviously.” “And what’s the last thing he thinks of when he goes to sleep, and the first thing he thinks about in the morning?” “The game, I imagine.” “See,” he said, satisfied, “I don’t tell James what I think about first thing in the morning and last thing before I fall asleep.” Huh. They were interrupted by Sarah, the tournament coordinator. She poked her head into the practice room. “There you are!” She said. She wore a smile somewhere between that of a businesswoman and a shark. “We need to get you to makeup, you’ve got forty-five minutes until showtime.” “Is that really necessary?” Alera asked. “Honey, you will look like a corpse under the stagelights without makeup, and you have such lovely skin,” she said, grabbing Alera’s arm. “I need to log out and...” She tried. “I’ve got it,” Patrick said. “I’ll meet you backstage. This pass is still valid, right?” He caught the access pass around his neck in his hand. “Sure thing,” said Sarah. Then she whisked Alera away for makeup. Makeup was a whirlpool of women descending on her face like a swarm of locusts. She felt the warmth of the lights on the mirror, and a sequence of brushes against her skin, and then she looked at herself and had to admit that she did look better than she had. Alera had never particularly cared how she looked. Her idea of fashion was her mother’s advice to make sure she didn’t look like a hobo with a heroin habit. She tried to live by that mantra, but it really was a low bar to clear, wasn’t it? She hadn’t had time to really think about the conversation she’d just had with Patrick, and Sarah Crowley didn’t give it to her. She was led away from the makeup room into a small area backstage. Patrick waited and gave her a little pat on her shoulder. On the other side of the room was her opponent. He was a pasty white kid with dreads and a tribal tattoo clearly visible on his well-developed biceps. She knew him only by his nickname, VioleNt. He immediately shattered her prejudices by walking over, shaking her hand, and wishing her good luck. “I liked your play in groups,” he said. “I have a feeling we’ll be seeing each other at these events in the future. Good luck.” His manager or coach or fixer or, for all Alera knew, his coke dealer, also shook her hand. He wore a dark suit and sunglasses inside like he was auditioning for Men in Black, but he was courteous and oozed professionalism. Patrick also shook his hand, just for the sake of appearances. Alera smiled; at last, she’d found an arena in which her friend was less comfortable than she was. She pulled up her notebook and tried to memorize her openings. It was no use. She’d read and re-read the notes so many times that she’d have to suffer retrograde amnesia to forget. There was nothing new there that she hadn’t thought about a hundred times before. Sarah appeared by her side like a fairy. “We’re going to have you walk in this way,” she said, pointing at a side door. Go through the corridor and to the right, then you’ll walk through the audience to the stage. You’ll end up just on the other side of that door,” and she pointed at a door labeled STAGE, “but just walking through there wouldn’t be as epic.” “Oh… kay,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Don’t worry,” said Sarah, “it’ll all be over soon.” Alera didn’t know if that was comforting or scary. Did she mean, the scary bit will be over soon, and then you can do what you came here to do, or you will be out of the tournament soon and then you won’t have to worry about any of this, will you? “Go on,” said Patrick. “I’ll be here, waiting.” Alera cast a glance towards the door labeled RESTROOMS, then Sarah gave her a push, and she walked through the side door. The corridor was all white and featureless. She found herself at a fork. Did she say left or right? Left, Alera thought, and walked to the end of a side corridor, opened a door, and found herself standing in a closet full of laundry equipment. Right, then. She retraced her steps and met VioleNt, her opponent, in the doorway to the backstage room. “I, uh, may have gotten lost,” she said, and then turned right before he could reply. How embarrassing. Alera found the door that presumably led out into the walkway that ran down the length of the stands to the stage. She closed her eyes, briefly, and reminded herself that all of this was merely pageantry. She was here to win, and Alera knew how to win. Scratch that: Butterfly knew how to win. Alera had to be Butterfly, the hottest new player on the block, not Alera Vasquez, scared and confused high school senior. Alera opened the door. A rush of voices and lights. She stepped into the light. There were stands on either side of her, and spectators—fans—cheering, some looking down on her with something like pity, others with the wide-eyed enthusiasm of youth. Alera decided to put one leg in front of the other and just focus on the stage in front of her, just fifty yards down the steps and she’d be away from the overwhelming crush of humanity that enveloped her. She heard her name called on speakers, somewhere far away, and narrowed her eyes until they were focused on a small section of the stage. Then she remembered that she was wearing headphones. Alera stopped, ignoring the stares from the audience, and fished out her phone. She put on a song, Signatune by DJ Mehdi, a hard-hitting, repetitive French House banger. She took a step with each beat of the song. Each step filled her with adrenaline. Each beat was a step closer to winning. Each beat was an IV shot of adrenaline. Her synapses were firing. She barely saw the steps as she stumbled up the stairs. The crowd was a blur. She turned around, looked at the seething mass of humanity that was watching her as the song looped, crescendoed, looped again. She held up a fist. Alera didn’t know why, but it felt good. It was a sign, from her to the crowd. I see you, and I am not afraid. She stepped away from the edge of the stage, unplugged her headphones, handed her phone to an attendant who stowed it away in a sealed plastic box. The roar of the crowd entered her ears, but she ignored it. She walked over and took a seat by her computer, affixed the in-ear earbuds, put on the noise-canceling over-ear headphones. The drone of the audience fell away into a low-level murmur. Alera logged in and began adjusting her settings. She was vaguely aware of another roar as her opponent entered the auditorium. She focused, instead, on setting up her game. She imagined herself sitting at home, relaxed, in her bedroom. There was only her, a screen, a keyboard and computer mouse. She felt a twinge in her bladder, signaling that she really ought to have peed earlier. The adrenaline infusion of her walk-in and the music was still buzzing in the background, a synaptic drone that made her legs vibrate. Alera closed her eyes, shook her head, and prepared to play the game of her life.

An experiment with genres. If you liked The Fifth Column, an older story of mine, I'm really hoping to incorporate some of those styles and concepts but flesh the world out better and incorporate the kink and the plot more smoothly. The planned story is a mix of some new ideas, a lot of things I've learned about writing in the past couple years, and some very, *very* old ideas of mine that I've never been able to execute in a way I'm satisfied with until now. This project isn't planned to be a focus, and updates will be less regular than The Product Tester, but if you enjoy it and want me to put more focus into Alpha Colony, please let me know. Also, if you enjoy my writing, please consider supporting me on Patreon so that I can put more time into working on my AB/DL fiction! https://www.patreon.com/PeculiarChangeling Chapter One Lucas stared into his drink, watching the blue liquid swirl. It’d been a long day, and what he really wanted was to relax and unwind. The pulse-pounding music of the Fifth Rock Nightclub wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind when he’d told his friends as much, but they’d been insistent. It was loud, raucous, and he could barely hear himself think let alone the chatter of his buddies at the bar, but maybe they had a point. If he couldn’t think, he couldn’t brood. He almost didn’t notice that someone was tapping on his arm until the tap turned into an insistent nudge. Looking up from his drink, he took in the stranger sitting next to him. The girl next to him had an appearance that seemed full of contradictions. In one sense, she was the picture of prettiness. Her face was soft, her blonde hair was long and well maintained. Even her hands felt smooth and manicured to the touch. Ignoring those aspects, though, she could have been mistaken for one of the colony’s many Class-D workers. Her arms were strong and thick. The shapeliness of her legs, visible beneath tight fabric pants, showed even more lean muscle, leading up to… He frowned at the bulge he saw, admiring the thickness of this woman’s butt. It was only when she nudged him again that he realized he’d been blatantly staring at her ass. “What?” he shouted, trying to hear over the sound of the music. She opened her mouth, gesturing wildly, then shut it and rolled her eyes. Before he could try and shout another unheard question, she retrieved a clear, rectangular communicator and raised it up, wiggling it for emphasis and pointing back at Lucas. Frowning, he reached in his pocket for his own communicator. Without another word, the girl reached over, tapped a few times on the screen to bring up the settings menu, and edited the compatibility mode. In an instant, the sound of the bar was lowered to a background thrum as Lucas’s earpiece filtered it out. He frowned, uncertain what the point was, until the girl spoke again. “Can you hear me?” Her voice was a little hesitant, but came through clearly. He nodded, and she rolled her eyes again. “I can hear you, too. Just talk normally, your earpiece will pick it up.” “I didn’t know they could do that,” he said, tentatively. She seemed to follow along, nodding with what he said. “A lot of people don’t. Your communicator’s pretty versatile, you just have to know how to use it.” She tapped on her own device, and pointed at the bartender, who was in the middle of checking a screen. “A lot easier than trying to call him over and make your order in person.” “Right.” Lucas looked at his communicator for a moment, then back at the girl. “Uh, so…” “Sorry, I’m bad at this,” she said, sticking out her hand. “I’m Sara.” “Lucas,” he said, accepting the greeting. At a loss for how else to start the conversation, he added, “Come here ofte-?” “Do you want to have sex?” she interrupted, blushing part way through. “Uh, sorry, I uninterrupted you. What were you asking?” “Uh… Em- That is...” Lucas stammered, completely at a loss for how to respond. “I was asking if you came here… What did you just ask?” “I know, I shouldn’t interrupt people like that,” Sara said, nodding. “I stop by occasionally. I’m not usually one for clubs, though.” “No, I mean-” Lucas stared at her, the flashing lights of the club playing over her well-tuned body. “Did you ask if I wanted to have sex?” “Well, yeah.” Sarah tilted her head a bit, staring back at him. “Do you not? I noticed you looking at the women who were dancing, and I assumed you were-” “No!” Lucas started, before shaking his head. “I mean, yes! I do, but- you don’t even know who I am.” Sara seemed even more puzzled. “Does that matter? You look appealing and you’re not coupled with anyone else as far as I can tell.” “I… huh.” Lucas raised his communicator, looking for a distraction. “How do you order a drink on here?” “I’ll get it for you.” Sara raised her own device. “What do you want?” “Another ‘Blue Moon’,” Lucas said, raising his glass. “It’s the house cocktail.” “There you go.” She punched in the order and pocketed her communicator, beaming at him. “So, is that a yes? Once you’ve finished your drink, that is.” “Uh…” Lucas considered his options. She didn’t seem to be drunk or not in control. He wasn’t seeing anyone else, and it had been a while. “Yeah. Yes. I’d like that.” “Great!” She grinned at him, legs kicking a little over the edge of her barstool. A thought struck Lucas, and he asked, “How old are you?” That caught Sara off guard, and she had to think for a moment before she answered. “Chronologically? Or how old is my subjective consciousness?” She came here on a ship, then. “Your consciousness, I guess.” She nodded, putting it together. “Nineteen.” That made a few things click in his head. They didn’t let kids come in on colony ships, but they did let pregnant people board. This ‘Sara’ must have spent half her life on travelling in a small, isolated ship community, and the other half living in a growing colony. No wonder her social skills were a bit… uncalibrated. The bartender dropped off two drinks, another glimmering blue cocktail for him, and something pale and opaque for her. “So, what do you do?” he asked, sipping at the new cocktail. Sara looked at him, then past him towards the door. “I don’t want to…” her gaze hardened, and she shook her head. When she spoke again, her tone, even her accent was completely different. “Excuse me a moment.” “Huh?” Lucas watched her get up out of her stool and make a beeline for the front entrance. Shifting his gaze, he spotted what she was heading towards. Four security guards were talking to the bouncer, decked out in thick plates of stormtrooper armor and lugging stun batons as big as Lucas’s head. The bouncer, in turn, was pointing towards the seat right next to Lucas. Right where Sara had been sitting. His eyes darted through the crowd, trying to spot her. Why are security guards looking for her? More importantly, Where did she go? A voice crackled in his earpiece. “They weren’t supposed to find us here. What the hell? I know. They must have tracked our communicator. They couldn’t have tracked it! It’s completely off the grid, it’s not even connected to the net, unless- You just put it together, didn’t you? Fuck, you’re right.” It was all dreadfully confusing to hear. It was all Sara’s voice, but every sentence or two it changed, the pitch tone fluctuating back and forth. He still couldn’t spot her in the crowd, though. Whatever she was doing, she was keeping her head down, and- There was a crashing sound, loud enough that he heard it even over the music and the muffling from his earpiece. Snapping his vision back to the entrance, Lucas saw only three guards standing, helmets looking back and forth in alarm. Through the crowd, details were impossible to make out. Someone was taking on the guards, and their heavy stun batons were tearing through the air but, by the sound of it, hitting nothing. In his earpiece, Lucas could hear heavy breathing, but Sara had stopped arguing with herself while she focused on the task at hand. Another guard went down, apparently dragged by the legs and toppled. He didn’t get back up. A moment later, one of the stun batons was turned against its owner, crackling energy bringing the next armored figure low. The last guard didn’t stick around. Shouting into his own earpiece, he turned to flee out the door. Nobody pursued. The music hadn’t stopped. A few people were staring at the commotion, but some hadn’t even noticed. Lucas could only stare in confusion, trying to puzzle together what he’d even witnessed. Four guards had been neutralized by… what? Sara? Surely a girl like her, even as fit as she seemed to be, couldn’t take on four armed guards and win. Before he could puzzle it out, Sara was behind him. “Hey.” He almost fell out of his seat. “What the fu-” She caught him, steadying Lucas before he could tumble. “I had to take care of something.” “Did you just fight those guards?” he asked, turning to stare at her. “What was that? How-” Sara cut him off, leaning forward to plant her lips on his. The kiss short-circuited Lucas’s brain, skipping his complaints. She grabbed one of his hands and moved it to her breast, and any uncertainty that was still kicking around at the back of his head vanished. He slid off the stool, and Sarah pulled her body close to his, deepening the kiss. She wasn’t holding back at all, unconcerned with anyone who might be watching. Lucas was vaguely aware that his friends had caught on and were eyeing the display, but he didn’t much care either. Reaching back, he put a hand on her ass, squeezing and- Crinkle. He frowned, a little confused, but Sara didn’t pull back from the kiss. Maybe it’s some kind of armor? Like, a mesh, that- Exploring around with his fingers, Lucas quickly put that idea out of his mind. He could feel the fabric of her pants slide over whatever it was that was crinkling. Beneath the pants, there was something thick, soft, and as he worked his hand a little lower, he felt it squelch. Sara didn’t seem to care, pulling herself closer into his body. As far as she cared, he was just grabbing her ass to pull her in tighter. Had he been sober, had a gorgeous woman not been slobbering into his mouth and aching to drag him to bed, he might have cared more. As it was, he decided that it wasn’t his problem. Then, in the middle of the kiss, Sara suddenly tensed. Lucas didn’t know why, until he felt the back of her pants begin to expand, subtly swelling beneath his hand. He had a suspicion of what was happening, that was confirmed when the smell reached his nose, even over the aromas of alcohol and sweaty bodies that the nightclub was generally filled with. Sara pulled away, suddenly, shaking her head. “No. But I- NO. Fucking hell, no! This is where I draw the line!” Lucas stared at her in confusion. “Are you alright?” Speaking softly again, Sara tried to move in for another kiss, then pulled away once more. “No.” Without explanation, she turned, running towards the exterior deck. Baffled, Lucas ran after her, but despite the fact that she was running with a heavy load between her legs, she still managed to weave through the crowd far more gracefully than he could manage, and she got outside well before him. Shoving through the door, Lucas looked around at the crowd, trying to spot her. It wasn’t a large space, and in the chill night air, it wasn’t half so crowded as the dance floor inside. Sara was nowhere to be seen. “Huh?” he said aloud, walking towards the railing. The balcony was fifty feet up, built on an outcropping that overlooked the rest of the colony bubble. Jumping down would be impossible, and the only door in and out was the one she’d gone through. She was just gone, with only a slightly stinky puff of air to tell that she’d ever been there.

I hear so many incontinent stories and although I know it is not an option being incontinent I would love to be anally incontinent to feel and see and know what it's like not to be able to control. I have had control of myself all my life. I have never wet a bed that I can remember, or have been forced to wear diapers. Diapers to me was a choice of cleaning my panties extra good or messing a diaper and discarding it after fun time. I don't wish incontinence on anyone. I would just like to have that learning experience of not feeling it. I feel it oh too good and usually a good poop is a good orgasm. Hugs everyone and please enjoy messing.

Something quick I wrote on a short study break. A short and quick one shot. If you've got Kindle Unlimited, you can read my amazon stories for free. Some beach reads featuring padded boys: Beach Baby, Summer Swim, The Man In The Gray Suit Daddy's Good Baby by Cute_Kitten "I feel stupid." Sky blushed, cheeks pink as the magenta hibiscus flowers by the boardwalk bench. Seagulls screeched overhead, occassionally dive-bombing the tourists on the beach to steal their food. Sky watched as one little girl dropped her ice cream and went screaming to her mommy. Several gulls swooped in to devour the tasty treat. "Nonsense, baby. You're adorable." Sky's boyfriend Gene flashed a white grin. Gene was tall and broadshouldered, a handsome man with tousled brown hair and slanted brown eyes. He wore a short sleeved, white and blue striped cotton button down shirt and tan khakis with navy loafers, looking every bit the posh young man he was. Sky didn't reply; he just ducked his head, too shy and self conscious to reply. Sky was almost the same height as Gene. He was long and slender, adrogynous looking and pretty with a heart shaped face and blonde hair in a short pixie cut. Today he looked very girly- and kept getting clocked as a girl- in a pastel mint green gingham sundress with lace along the bodice and hem. The skirt flowed out in an A-line cut, taking his boyish frame and giving it the appearance of soft girly curves. The extra padding around his waist helped with that, too. He squirmed, feeling the dry, thick diaper press against his genitals, swaddling his crotch in comfort and reassurance. He shivered at the sensation, not used to going out in public diapered. Especially in such a thick, noisy diaper. The diaper itself was plain white, and it was so thick it forced his legs apart, making him waddle. And it crinkled and rustled loudly with every small movement. Even if the skirt hid the bulk from view, there was no disguising the awfully loud noise. Even the cute diaper cover that matched his dress didn't make Sky feel any better. The diaper cover was plastic lined on the inside- which only added to the noise level when he moved- but would help prevent leaks. He didn't think such a titanic diaper could ever leak. And the butt was covered rows of white lace that matched the hem of his dress. All in all, Sky felt like an overgrown girl toddler. Which he didn't mind in private but he'd never gone outside in public dressed like this. Gene's birthday was today, and what he wanted for a present was to take his baby boy to the beach for a boat ride on a dolphin and whale sighting tour. They'd just got off the boat and were walking along the boardwalk. So far, Sky had managed to avoid using the toilet around his tiny waist. Sky was so nervous, especially in a crowd of people. All he could do was cling to Gene's arm, head down, and waddle at his side, praying no one heard his noisy undergarments. There would be no toilet for him today, not even for number two. Gene insisted. Heck, if Gene had his way, Sky would never sit down on a toilet again. He wanted his baby diapered and in dresses 24/7. "You did so well on the boat, baby. Daddy's proud of you. And everyone thought you really were a girl. You got so many compliments on your pretty dress." Gene praised, making Sky blush more and hide his face in his hands. Gene beamed, his heart melting at how adorable his boyfriend was. Sky whined, embarrassed and wanting to hide from the world. Gene leaned in, wrapping one arm around Sky's waist and stepping so close their bodies touched. He lowered his head, whispering in one ear, "But tell me one thing, baby? Did you go potty yet like a good girl? I know all those drinks you had in this heat must be taking a number on your bladder." Sky buried his face in Gene's shoulder, whining softly. "D-daddy. I-I c-can't." "Sure you can, baby. Just like you do at home. Close your eyes. Deep breaths. Concentrate. Come on, you can do it. Do it for Daddy." Gene urged. He pulled Sky behind a cluser of palm trees and hibiscus bushes. None of the boardwalk crowd could see them here. He carefully looked around to make sure no one was around. They had privacy. Sky shook his head. "It's t-too hard. I tried on the b-boat." "It's easy. Come on, baby. Be a good girl. Wet your diapee. That's why you have a diapee on. You're just a silly baby girl who can't control her pee-pee. " Gene's gentle coo urged him. He slipped one hand under Sky's skirt, large palm cupping the front of Sky's dry diaper. He pressed the dry padding into his crotch, making Sky whimper and his legs shake. Sky fisted his slender fingers in Gene's shirt, wrinkling the cotton. He screwed his eyes tight shut, took a deep breath and concentrated. Between Gene's gentle encouragement and his full, aching bladder, Sky finally managed to relax his bladder muscles. Warm wetness washed over his crotch and hit the once-dry padding. It immediately started to swell as he flooded his diaper, but the enormous padding absorbed it all. Nothing leaked out into his pretty, plastic panty. The diaper padding swelled, forcing his legs apart more. Gene felt the diaper grow warm through the plastic panty. He smiled, filled with pride. "Such a good girl. Daddy's best girl. I'm so proud of you, baby." Sky blushed. He couldn't believe he just wet himself for the first time in public. Humiliation washed over him at the realization and he buried his face tight in his boyfriend's neck, hiding from the world. Under the shame, a small thrill ran down his spine at his daring. He wet himself, and no one around them knew. His wet diaper was safely hidden under his dress, so he could pee himself in the middle of a crowd and no one would know. He smiled a little and his trembling stopped. "I'm a good girl?" He asked softly. He just wanted to hear Gene praise him some more. It made his insides feel warm and fuzzy. "Yes. The best. I'm so proud of my baby girl. You were so brave, going potty in your pants in public. You made Daddy very happy." Gene's large hand patted Sky's padded rump. His diaper crinkled loudly, making him blush. Sky moved and the wet padding clung to his crotch. He scrunched up his nose. "Daddy, my diapee feels icky. It's wet and squishy." He whined. Gene gently squeezed the wet padding. "Honey pie, you gave it a good soaking but this diapee can hold some more. Your diapees are expensive, and you're going to be spending a lot of time in them. I don't want to waste one. Besides, you need to get used to being wet." He cut off Sky's protesting whine with one gentle finger to his pink lips. "For being such a good baby, I'm going to get you a special treat. There isn't a game on this boardwalk I can't beat, so you just pick the plushy prize you want and Daddy will win it for you." Sky's eyes lit up like an excited toddler being offered candy or a new toy. He still wasn't happy about being stuck in a wet diaper, but a new plushy to add to his massive collection certainly helped him forget about it. "Yes, Daddy! Let's go!" He grabbed Gene's large hand with both his small ones, tugging impatiently. His soggy diaper and dry plastic panties rustled loudly as he waddled off with his daddy in tow towards the carnival games.

The 1st episode of my Podcast "Musings of a Domme Mommy" is now up!

Found this one on a non-ABDL meme site, figured it worked as is.

Chapter 20: Group Project Does waking up in the morning with a dry pull-up really count if you had to change out of a wet pull-up in the middle of the night? Mom must have thought so. She was in a better mood in the morning when she pulled back my sheets to find that I had managed to keep my pull-up dry for the remainder of the night. I guess I should have been grateful for those little accomplishments, but the events over the last night had only served to compound the stress I was under. I rubbed my eyes as I attempted to force myself to wake up. Having my sleep cycle interrupted like that was no good. I knew the shower would wake me up, but I could hardly summon the energy to get myself up and out of bed. “Come on, you need to get going,” Mom said as she gave me another gentle nudge on the shoulder. I pulled myself out of bed, the pull-up still visible as Mom gave me a re-assuring hug. “I’m sure this was just a phase you’ll get over,” Mom said. “No one wears diapers to college.” That phrase wasn’t all that re-assuring. The last time a doctor had told me that bedwetting was just a phase, I’d gone on to do it for another three years. I hopped into the shower while Mom took care of changing Emilia out of her wet diaper and getting her dressed for the day. A week ago, I would have given anything to get out of diaper duty. Now, I’d give anything to be back in charge of caring for Emilia rather than having Mom treat me like a toddler. I knew I couldn’t dawdle in the shower or I’d be late for school, but I also wanted to savor one of the few moments of freedom that I got from wearing a pull-up. If today was anything like yesterday, after the shower, Mom would be waiting for me again in the bedroom, ready to get me dressed. I didn’t put up any fuss as Mom dressed me. Being cooperative meant it was over with faster, and that’s all I wanted. I didn’t care for the hoodie she selected – gray with “Girl Power” emblazoned on it in pink, glittery letters. Sure, I’d worn it a ton in middle school, but that childish stuff wasn’t what I want to be seen wearing to high school. I suppose if Mom was going to be dressing me, it might be worth taking a look at my closet later and moving anything I don’t like to the very back and out of her sight. Mom chatted away while getting the clothes on me, which was nice, as the situation still felt too weird for me to want to say anything. “I checked your grades online last night...” Please. Please. Please. Let there be no assignments with grades other than “A.” I didn’t need another spanking. “... and none of them were bad.” Mom had gotten me completely dressed besides from pulling on my jeans when she motioned for me to get off the bed. “Come on, you need to hurry up and eat breakfast before school.” “Mom, I’m not going to school like...” I couldn’t bring myself to mention the uncovered pull-up. “...this.” “You don’t need the jeans now. I’ll put them on you once it’s time for you to head out the door.” I chose not to argue. I just wanted this over with, but Sunday felt so far away. After pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I joined Emilia at the table in the kitchen. She glanced up at me as I sat down at the table, but other than that, she didn’t pay any attention to me or the pull-up that I was wearing. Not that she should be able to say much, given that she had on a fully exposed pull-up as well. I hated this. There was a reason people didn’t just waltz around in their underwear all the time, and it wasn’t only for the sake of modesty. While the pull-up covers everything it needs to cover, it doesn’t cover the things it doesn’t need to cover. That was to say, that meant a good portion of my bottom was exposed to the cold, hard surface of the chair. I wolfed down the cereal as fast as I could. I didn’t mind the idea of being early and waiting outside for ten minutes or so for the bus as long as that meant I could at least be fully dressed. I was still in shock at how rapidly my life had changed. Of how what I had once considered normal has been replaced with this new normal. Of how swiftly my mom and sister have grown accustomed to it in just a matter of days. But this wasn’t normal. And I didn’t want it to ever become normal. Even as I outwardly accepted the situation – stealing Emilia’s pull-ups to use at school and letting Mom potty train me and treat me like a toddler – I struggled in vain to see a path forward to get back to the old normal. Looking weeks and months ahead was hard to do when I was so focused on the minute by minute struggle of keeping my bladder in check. --- One last class to go. I didn’t know how I had managed to pull it off, but for the first time in about a week I’d made it through my first six classes without so much as a tiny leak into the pull-up. That was either really good or really bad. Depending on how you believe in statistics, that either meant I was guaranteed to have an accident to make up for not having one earlier or the trend was going to be my friend in keeping me dry today. My bladder, however, was not being my friend. I needed to pee. I’d been trying hard to avoid slipping out of my classes to go to the bathroom and had managed to avoid doing so today. I hated drawing that much attention to myself, but having kept the pull-up dry all day long, the chance to be able to make it a whole day without peeing myself wasn’t something I wanted to pass up. Fifteen minutes to go in the class. I crossed my legs, but even that couldn’t stop the need to squirm. An inch to the right. An inch to the left. What was it that causes everyone to do that distinctive potty dance when their bladder comes close to reaching its breaking point? What was it about the urge to pee that makes you feel the need to move your body? I was completely zoned out of the class as Mr. Higgins wrote down dates and names on the chalkboard. I’m sure they were important, but not near as much as the almost painful urges coming from my bladder. I hated being the center of attention. Even at the back of the room, the thought of having to get up to grab the hall pass and risk people turning around to look at me was embarrassing. I steadied my breath as I gradually worked up the courage to get out of my seat. I could do this. I could do this. I stood up. But so did Lisa. And her desk was to my left, right between myself and the door. We paused and exchanged an awkward glance. “Sorry, I need to go,” Lisa whispered to me as she made an antsy shuffle of her feet followed by a semi-dash to the door. I watched in silent horror as Lisa grabbed the only girls’ hall pass from the hook next to the door. Why did she always have to do that at the most inopportune times? This was so unfair. I returned to my desk as discreetly as I could. Thankfully, it didn’t appear as if anyone besides Desi and Samantha had paid any attention to me getting up. I didn’t bother raising my hand to ask Mr. Higgins if I could be excused to the bathroom as well. I knew already that his answer would be no. I twiddled my thumbs, doodled with my pencil, bit my lip – anything to just keep my mind off of my bladder and to keep the contents of my bladder from ending up in the pull-up. It was working. I readied myself to make a dash to the bathroom as soon as the bell rung, since Lisa wasn’t likely to get back to the class until right before the period was over. “Not fair,” Samantha muttered under her breath. What’s not fair? Her remark drew me back into paying attention to Mr. Higgins, who was finally back to facing the class and not the chalkboard. “The project would be a group presentation about a U.S. President. Since that would be a lot of work to put together, we’ll be putting you into groups to create the presentation and deliver it as a team.” Another large assignment? I swear, every teacher was always saying that their homework was only thirty minutes a night, but when you have seven classes, that comes close to four hours of homework every single evening. “Since the number of students in the class wasn’t divisible by three, one group would just have two of you in it...” Higgins said. He read through the list of students who would be in each group. If we had to get stuck with more homework, at least Samantha, Desi, and I could all feel miserable about it together. “...and the next group, covering John F. Kennedy, would be Samantha, Desi, and Jonathan.” What? I’m not in the same group as Samantha and Desi? Mr. Higgins had to see that we always did stuff together. After all, he’d put us in the last group project he had assigned. We’d gotten an “A” in that. And by we, I mean Samantha had done most of the work on that paper, but still. Higgins continued reading through the list of teams, seemingly ignorant of the fact that his assignment had disrupted the social order of his classroom. There weren’t many people left. Who was I going to be paired with? “... and for our group of two students: Sarah and Lisa, who would be covering George H. W. Bush.” It could be worse, though that might leave me with doing most of the talking for the presentation. I turned to look at Lisa’s desk. Mr. Higgin’s talk about the project had temporarily distracted me from my need to use the bathroom. The urge to go was present but not as strong as before, but Lisa wasn’t back yet, and the bell hadn’t rung to dismiss us from the class. As I adjusted my position in my seat so I could turn to talk to Samantha, a squishy, wet, warm sensation pressed against my bottom. Wait. What? I’d leaked some into the pull-up? I’d been so caught up in listening to Mr. Higgins that I hadn’t noticed. So unfair. It wasn’t even my fault. If not for Lisa, I’d have been able to stay dry. “I’m sorry you had to be stuck with Lisa,” Samantha said, giving me a pitying look. She must have taken my look of unhappiness – really from the wet pull-up – to mean that I was displeased with how Mr. Higgins had split us up for the project. I was unhappy that I wouldn’t be doing it with Samantha and Desi, but if it had to be with someone else, it wasn’t bad that I had gotten paired up with Lisa. “I’m not unhappy with her. It’s just strange that Mr. Higgins didn’t keep us together like last time.” The ringing bell announcing the end of the period interrupted Samantha’s response. Probably just as well, since she never had anything nice to say about Lisa, who had arrived back at her desk. “So... I heard we were going to be partners for the group project,” Lisa said as I turned to face her. “Yeah.” “What president did we get? Uncle wouldn’t tell me ahead of time.” “Bush. The first one.” “Oh, weren’t you needing to go to the bathroom?” I didn’t have a big urge to go anymore, but I couldn’t exactly admit that. I could see how my relaxed attitude right now would seem strange given how I had previously indicated that I had an urgent need to go to the bathroom. “Oh. Yeah. I do.” I grabbed my backpack and slipped past Lisa and out into the hallway, leaving her in the classroom with Mr. Higgins. With any luck, being paired with my teacher’s niece might make this an easier assignment to get a good grade on.

Chapter 8. Kim picked up her phone and called Peter. "Hello sis." Peter said, just pulling up into his driveway. "Hello. Are you home yet?" "Just pulling into the driveway." "Oh good." "So how was your day?" "Well, it was interesting to say the least." "I was talking with Mom so I know you got them from the airport okay." "Yep. That was no problem. I did what you said to do and Emily rode in her car seat." Peter smiled. "Ohh that's great. I've be wondering about that. So no problems?" "Well not really. I'm just afraid Beth is going to look it up and see that it's only for children under 8." "Don't worry about that. I had her cancel her phone plan the other day. I told her I would get her one here, but I'm not going to put data on it so she can't get online. The home computer is password protected so there is no chance of her getting online." "Okay. I guess you did think of everything then?" "I hope so. So anything else I should know about? I'm just about to walk into the house." "Don't go in yet. I have something else to tell you." "Okay. What's that?" "Remember when you said you hoped Emily wouldn't make fun of Sarah and her night time problem?" "Yes. I remember." "Well, I ended up having to put Emily to bed because... Well, anyway it doesn't matter why. It seems that Emily has the same problem." Peter was just about to open the front door but stopped. "Really? Beth never said that when I told her about Sarah." "I don't think Beth knows because I might have had a little to do with it." "What did you do?" "Let's just say that Emily is going to wake up wet." Peter paused for a few seconds. "You made her wet the bed?" "Well yes and no. I thought you would be happy because now there is no way she is going to tease Sarah about it." "If it only happens once it's not going to be long before...." Kim interrupted. "Don't worry. She will be wearing pull-ups to bed for as long as Sarah, maybe longer." "Kim, she is not just going to keep wetting the bed. I don't think you can just get someone to wet on command." Peter laughed. "Will, maybe YOU can." "You underestimate me my dear bother. Anyways, don't worry about it. Don't mention this to Beth. I will when I see her next. It might be better coming from me than you. You have enough to handle." Peter shook his head. "Okay sis. Keep me updated and oh by the way, I like the picture you sent me. Very cute." "Haha. I thought you might like that. Anyways, I will let you go. I have a wet girl I need to deal with." "Okay. Talk to you later and be careful." "I will. Bye." Peter placed his phone into is pocket and smiled. Peter placed his hand on the door knob and turned it but before opening the door he had a thought 'If I'm going to have two bedwetting girls in the house, I might as well have three.' Kim set she phone down and smiled. She was sure her bother was happy with what she had said. Now, she just needs to make sure little Emily is waking up wet on her own. She would do some research on that later. Kim checked in on Sarah. She wasn't really sure why she did, the movie still playing and she knew Sarah would not take her eyes off it. She made her way down to wake up Emily. She stopped before pushing the door open and took a deep breath. 'This had to go just right.' Kim walked in and carefully sat down on the bed. "Emily. Emily honey." Kim said. Emily moved a little but didn't wake up. Kim placed her hand on her shoulder. "Emily. You can get out of bed now." Kim shook her a little more. Emily's eyes opened and when she saw Kim sitting there she quickly closed them. "Emily. You can get up now. That's long enough and I hope you learned your lesson." Emily opened her eyes again and that's when she felt it. She felt wet. Very wet. She slowly put her hand under the blankets and down between her legs. Her clothes were soaked. 'Now way. She couldn't have.' Her eyes opened wide when she felt how wet she was. Kim knew what Emily was discovering. "Honey. Come on. That's a long enough. Sarah is watching a movie. Let's get up and then I will make us supper." Emily didn't know what to do. She was just saying she was old enough to stay by herself and now this. She couldn't let Kim find out. No way. "Uhmm. I'm still a little tried. Can I sleep a little longer?" Kim didn't want to push things to fast. "I don't know honey. If you sleep any longer you will have a hard time going to bed tonight." "That's okay. I don't mind." Emily was willing to say anything. She couldn't let Kim find out what she had done. Kim was not going to let her off too easy. "I'm sorry I had to send you night-night, but you know why right?" Emily nodded her head up and down and squeaked out a "Yes." "I don't like to have to punish you but you need to know that I'm the adult." Emily almost started to cry again when she heard the word 'adult'. It was something she was trying so hard to be. Well, maybe not an adult but at least a grown up. "Yes. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Kim smiled and then placed her hand on Emily's hair. She started to move it around. "That's good to hear Emily. I want us to get along. I have been so looking forward to spending time with you and I know Peter is so happy you and your mother are here." Emily wasn't sure what to say. Kim was being so nice. "Uhmm..Thank you." "Okay, so let's get up and get some supper. Do you want to help me in the kitchen. I could use a big girl like you. Sarah is just a little young yet to help." Emily's heart jumped. She was lying in a very wet bed and now Kim wants her to help in the kitchen because Sarah in too young. 'What will she say if she finds out what I did?' "Okay. But can I just lie her a little bit longer. I will come out in a few minutes." Kim placed her hand on Emily's cheek. "For someone that didn't want to go night-night, you're trying really hard to stay. Are you sure you are feeling okay? You don't seem warm." "No. I'm fine. I'm just more tried than I thought." Kim wanted to see how far she could take Emily's discomfort. "Well, if you're this tried maybe you should be taking afternoon naps from now on." Emily wasn't keen on that idea. "I think it was just because we were up early this morning. You know, because we had to get on the plane." "I guess that could be why. But if I see you looking a little tried after lunch the next few days, maybe having a little nap would be a good idea. Don't you think?" 'God is this women ever going to leave.' "Uhmm.. Yeah, sure I guess." "Okay then. You promise, if I say it's time for a nap you are not going to argue and just come in and have a little sleep?" Emily wasn't really sure about agreeing to it but what could so do. "Yes. I promise." 'This is great.' Kim thought. 'Four or five naps and then night time. That's more opportunity for little Emily too wet her bed. Or should i say her pull-ups. Because tonight she would be wearing a pull-up just like Sarah'. "Okay thank you Emily. You know you can be so sweet. Come on give me a hug." Kim started to pull the blankets off her. Emily grabbed the blanket and held it with all her might. "Emily wants wrong? You don't want to give me a hug?" Emily stated to sweat. "Uhmm..yes...but..." She had nothing. She couldn't hold the blankets up for ever. She was just going to have to fess up and try to explain. She let go of the blankets and Kim pulled them down. Kim just put her arms under Emily's back and lifted her up into a hug. She held the hug for a few seconds and then let go. "Okay. Let's go make some supper." Kim stood up and waited to see what Emily was going to do. Emily just lied back down and closed her eyes. She just couldn't make herself get up. Kim reached out and pulled the blankets down past Emily's knees. "Oh honey what happened?" Emily felt tears form in her eyes. "I don't know." Kim sat back down on the bed making sure not to get her dress wet. "Oh honey. You peed the bed." Emily couldn't hold back the tears. She was so upset. "I'm sorry. I....I don't know...." "Honey. Honey. It's okay don't cry. It's okay the bed is protected. I can wash the sheets and your romper." "But....I don't know why i did." Emily got out between sobs. Kim wiped some tears off Emily's cheeks. "I just wish you had have told me you wet the bed. I could have helped." Emily wasn't sure what Kim meant by helping. "I don't wet the bed. It never happens." "Now honey, it's okay. You don't have to lie to me." Emily opened her eyes. "I'm not lying. I don't wet the bed." Kim sat and didn't say a word. She just kept wiping the tears away. "Really. I don't." "It's okay. I just thought maybe because of what happened at McDonalds today and now this. I'm having a hard time believing you. That's all. Maybe I should call your mommy and talk with her." Kim pointing out that this is the second time today that she has wet herself didn't help. Putting them together was all she could take. She started to bawl. She could hardly catch her breath she was crying so hard. Kim held Emily up and gave her another hug. "Honey it's okay. I'm not mad. No one will ever be mad because of this." Kim sat back a little so that she was face to face. "Emily it's okay. Please stop crying. Come on let's get you out of these wet clothes." Emily wanted out of her wet clothes. She breathed in deep and tried to stop crying. "Okay." Kim let go of her. "Just claim down and let me get a few things." She stood up and waited for Emily to respond. "O...okay." "Good girl." Kim said before heading to the dresser. Kim opened the closest and knelt down. She looked at the bag of pull-ups but decided she had something different for now. She reached back and picked up the change pad and wipes. She then went to the dresser and grabbed the new pyjamas she had purchased for Emily. Kim opened the lower part of the dresser and held up a pair of cloth training pants. She stretch them out and figured with Emily's small waist they would fit. She returned to the bed and set everything on the floor. "Okay sweetie, can you turn for me so your legs are on this side?" Emily had claimed down some and did what Kim asked. She looked down at her wet clothes when she did. She still couldn't believe she had wet the bed. She hasn't wet the bed in many, many years. Emily felt like she was in a dream because there was no way this really happened. Kim picked up the change pad and unfolded it. She took Emily by the ankles and lifted her up off the bed, sliding the change pad under her. She lowered her legs and then leaned over her. "Emily I'm going to take your wet romper off now okay?" All Emily could think about was how she could have done such a thing. Her head nodded without really thinking. Kim pulled the romper down and got Emily's arms out. She took her ankles and lifted them up, pulling the romper down below her waist. Kim set her legs down and pulled the romper off. She set them on the floor and did the same with her underwear. "Just going to clean you up. Okay?" Emily again, nodded her head. Her mind was so wrapped up about the whole experience she just couldn't think straight. "These might be a little cold honey." Kim started to wipe Emily and she moved a little. "There cold aren't they?" Kim could see Emily wasn't herself. She took her by the ankles again and cleaned her bottom for the second time today. Kim picked up the training panties and feed Emily's legs through. She slid them up. Kim didn't have to tell Emily to lift her bum up because she did it with out being asked. Once Kim got the thick training panties on her, Emily looked so much younger. She took Emily's hands and pulled her up to a sitting position. "Can you stand for me so you can get your jammies on." Emily stood. She looked down at her underwear which felt different than normal. She placed her hand on the front of them. Something seemed odd about them. They were soft and much thicker than her normal underwear. Before she could figure out what was so different, Kim held the pyjama bottoms out in front of her. "Here honey. Can you put these on?" Emily took the pink bottoms and leaned back up against the bed. She put her right foot in and then her left, pulling them up over her training pants. Kim held out the matching pink top. "Arms in." Kim said. Emily raised her arms and Kim pulled the pink top over her head. "There you go. All dry. No big deal." Emily looked down at herself. The pyjama bottoms tight cuffs sat just above her ankles. The pink top had the same cuffs that hug tightly at her wrist. She placed her hand on the white unicorn on the front of her top. Kim's hand was in front of her so she placed her hand in hers. As she started walking, her new underwear felt very different indeed. Kim walked the pyjama clad girl out of the bedroom and into the family room. Kim noticed that the movie Frozen was just in the beginning. Once they reached the sofa Kim smiled. "Sarah did you start the movie over?" Sarah turned and giggled, not even batting an eye at seeing Emily in her pink jammies. "Yes." she stated. Kim laughed. "Oh you little stinker." Sarah giggled again and looked back towards the TV. Kim pulled Emily around the couch and moved a pillow from the end. "Here honey. Sit up here and get comfy." Emily turned and sat up on the couch. Kim pulled her legs around and placed them on the couch. She then placed the pillow behind her head. "I will get you a drink. Would you like one Sarah?" "Yes please." Sarah said. "Okay. I just have some things to clean up and I will bring you some juice." Emily placed her hands under her head and starred at the TV. She bent her legs up and laid there in the fetal position. Kim made her way back out to the kitchen and noticed the two cups still sitting on the kitchen table. She twisted the lids off and poured them into the sink. Retrieving the jug from the fridge she filled them back up with cold apple juice. Twisting the lids back on she returned to the family room. She placed Sarah's cup on the coffee table. Kim knelt in front of Emily. "Here's your drink Honey." Emily didn't say anything but took the cup from Kim. She held it down, under her chin. Kim placed her hand on Emily's bottom and gave it a couple pats. "Don't be sad honey. Drink your juice and enjoy the movie. If you need me I will be in the kitchen." Emily closed her eyes for a few seconds and then opened them. "Okay." she quietly said. Emily was kind of happy Kim wasn't upset with her after what she had done. When Kim patted her bum she realized again that the underwear she was wearing was very different. She leaned the cup against her chest and took her right hand and placed it on her bottom. The underwear was so much thicker than her normal ones. Then it dawned on her that Kim had put her in training panties. She squeezed them again. She didn't like that she was wearing them but she wasn't about to say anything. She didn't want what happened, brought up again. After all the crying Emily had done she felt very thirsty. She turned her head and placed the spout in her month. She started to suck the cold apple juice in and swallowed. She closed her eyes and sucked harder. The more she sucked the more relaxed she felt. The cool juice tasted good. She drank about half and then turned over on her side. She held the cup with her right hand by her chest and with out thinking too much about it, her left hand came up to her mouth. She started nibbling at the end of her thumb and after a few minutes her thumb got farther and farther into her mouth. Before long, the very upset girl started to suck on her thumb and she become more relaxed by the second. Kim prepared dinner. It wasn't much but after the day she figured a good meal could be made tomorrow night. She ended up making tomato soup and grilled cheese for the kids. She put together a salad for herself. Kim set the table and went to get the girls. Kim stopped when she saw Emily lying on the couch with her knees up and her thumb in her mouth. 'She couldn't blame the girl for it. Shes been through a lot today.' She stepped in front of the TV. "Okay girls dinner is ready." Emily looked at Kim and quickly popped her thumb out of her mouth. She felt so comfortable she didn't really want to move. After a few seconds of not having her thumb in her mouth she started to think about what happened again. She almost stuck her thumb back in. "Can you stop the movie?" Sarah asked. Kim picked up the remote and pressed pause. "Sure can. I'm sure you want to see how the movie finishes. Right Sarah?" Sarah giggled. "I know how it ends." "I'm sure you do. Since you have watched it a 100 times. Now, grab your drink and head up to the table." Sarah picked up her sippy cup and walked towards the kitchen. Emily hadn't moved other than pulling her thumb from her mouth. Kim stepped around the coffee table. "Come on honey. Let's go get dinner." Emily held onto her cup and sat up. She placed her feet on the floor and stood. "Do you feel better now?" Kim asked. Emily did feel better than she had, but not much. She was still upset over her bed wetting but something about relaxing on he couch watching the movie, seemed to help her mood. "I guess so." she squeaked out. Kim sat down on the couch and placed her hand on Emily's bottom, giving it a couple more pats. She needed the girl not to worry about what had happened earlier. "Can I tell you something?" "Uhmm.. sure. I guess." "I think you're a very special girl. I don't like to see you so upset." Emily's head lowered. "I know what happened it's something nice, but guess what?" "What?" "I still think you are a great girl. It's not a big deal that you had an accident in bed. Just know i'm not upset with you in anyway. Okay?" Emily lifted her head up. She didn't want to talk about it anymore. She wanted to forget it ever happened. "Okay." Kim pulled Emily in for a hug. "Come on let's get you some soup." Kim let Emily walk carrying her cup to the kitchen. Sarah was already up in her usual spot at the table. Kim pulled out a chair for Emily and placed her hand on her back, guiding her into it. Emily set her cup on the table and looked at the Winnie-the-pooh bowl and plate in front of her. She looked over at Sarah's and noticed they were the same. Sarah was still wearing her romper and now Emily wished she was too. Kim poured soup into Emily's bowl first. "It might be a little hot, so be careful." She poured soup into Sarah's bowl and said then same thing. "Can I have some crackers Aunty Kim?" Sarah asked. "Of course you can. Would you like some crackers Emily?" "Yes please." "Okay. Coming right up." Kim had already got the crackers out knowing that Sarah would want them. She placed a few beside Sarah's bowl and some beside Emily's. "The grilled cheese will be ready in a few minutes." Sarah picked up a couple crackers and broke them in her hands, dropping them in her soup. Emily did the same after watching Sarah. Emily alway liked tomato soup and wondered if her mother had said something too Kim. Once she finished the soup Kim took away her bowl and placed the grilled cheese on her plate. She even gave her some ketchup to dip the grilled cheese in. Emily stopped thinking about the sippy cup as being something bad. When she sucked the juice out that Kim refilled once she felt her body and mind relax. Emily didn't say a word when Kim used a cloth to wash her face and hands. At least this time Kim had done the same thing to Sarah. By the time dinner was over it was getting close to 6:30pm. Sarah was quick to ask. "Can I watch the rest of the movie?" "First let's get you in your pyjama's." Kim said, Sarah jumped down from her seat and ran towards the bedroom. Kim held out her hand for Emily to take. "Come on." Emily looked up at Kim. "I already have my pyjama's on." "Yes you do but we need to get you something else before you finish watching the rest of the movie." Emily had no idea want else she would need but she wasn't about to say anything, so she took Kim's hand and they made their way into the bedroom. Sarah was standing in her underwear when Kim and Emily arrived. Her romper was set on the plastic sheet on the bed. Kim let go of Emily's hand. "Sarah why don't you go use the potty first before we get your in your pyjamas." Sarah walked past Emily wearing nothing more than her underwear and out the door she went. Kim opened the closet and picked up the bag of pull-ups. She pulled out two. She set the bag back on the floor and shut the closet door. When Kim turned Emily saw what she was holding. Kim walked over and set one pull-up on the bed and keep a hold of the other one. "Do you want to put this on in the bathroom after you try and use the potty?" Emily just looked at the pull-up. 'Was Kim really expecting her to wear it?' "Uhmm.. I don't need that." Kim sat on the bed and the plastic sheet made the 'crinkling sound' She pulled Emily close. "It's okay sweetie. Sarah needs to wear one too. So don't worry about it. Would you rather I get you into it?" It was a little bit of a shock that Sarah needed to wear a pull-up to bed but that didn't mean it made it any better. "I don't need to wear that really. I don't need it." "Honey, I don't want to fight about it okay. You've had two accidents today. I think it would be best to wear this tonight." Emily had to hold back the tears because she could feel them coming on. "Please. I don't know why I wet the bed but I swear, I don't need that." Kim set the pull-up beside her and took Emily by both arms. "I'll tell you what. I will make you a deal. Wear it for tonight. If you wake up dry then we will forget all about it. Okay?'" Emily know she didn't need it but she could see why Kim thought she did. She didn't want to but she knew it would only be for tonight. After that she could put this all behind her. "Uhmm..Okay." "Good girl." Kim said, just has Sarah came back into the bedroom. Emily turned when she heard Sarah. Kim picked up Emily's pull-up and took Emily's hand. "Sarah. I set your pull-up there. Get that on and then I will get you your pyjamas." Sarah wasn't fazed about the pull-ups. She didn't like that she had to wear them but she has been wearing them at night since she was out of diapers. So she really didn't think too much about it. "Okay." Kim took Emily by the hand and lead her into the bathroom. Kim set the pull-up on the counter. "Just change in here." Emily didn't say anything and Kim left. Emily looked at the pull-up, wondering if it would even fit. If they were Sarah's, they must be too small for her. Maybe she could just tell Kim that they wouldn't fit and then she would be free. Emily picked up the pull-up and pulled it apart. 'No way these are going to fit. Sarah is 5, i'm 13.' She figured she had to try and then when they ripped she could just show Kim. Emily pulled off her pyjama bottoms and her underwear. She looked at the underwear now that she had them in her hands. 'I hope these are bigger than them.' Emily dropped the cloth training panties on the floor and grabbed the pull-up. She bent down and placed her feet into the leg holes. She started to pull them up and when they easily got over her knees she stopped. 'Come on. These can't fit.' She started to pull them up slowly waiting for the sides to start to expand and finally rip open, but when she got the pull-up just over her bum she knew they weren't going to tear open. They hardly stretch at all over her skinny waist. 'No way, this can't be' She looked down at the picture of Cinderella on the front and heard the door open. Kim didn't knock she just opened the bathroom door. There stood Emily looking down at her new pull-up. Kim smiled wide. "Everything okay sweetie?" Emily snapped her head up. "Uhmm.." She had to try something to get out of wearing these. "Uhmm..I don't think they fit." Kim could see that they fit just fine and knew she was just trying to get out of wearing them. "Let me see." Kim knelt down and turned Emily around. She pulled up the back and then spun her around again. "They seem fine honey. Let's get your bottoms on." Kim picked up the pyjama bottoms and held them out. "But...they are really tight." Emily said, still hoping for a miracle. Kim was quick with a response. "Well if they are too tight then I might have something else that might work better." Emily looked down at the underwear she had just taken off. 'They would be much better than these that's for sure.' "You do?" Kim saw that Emily was looking at the cloth training pants so she picked them up along with the pyjama pants. "I do. Come with me." Kim stood, turned and walked out of the bathroom. Emily stood for a few seconds. She didn't really want to walk out of the bathroom with the pull-up on full display but if it meant not having to wear them then she would. She took a few steps and heard the pull-up crinkle. 'At least the other underwear didn't do that.' Kim waited for Emily to come walking into the bedroom. She looked so cute wearing the pull-up. Just like Sarah. Emily was wondering why they had to come back into the bedroom when Kim had the other underwear in her hands. Emily watched as Kim opened the closest and bent down, moving things around. Kim remembered buying some size 7 Pampers a while back when Sarah was still wearing diapers to bed. After she had bought them, Peter told her that he had started letting Sarah wear pull-ups so that she could put them on herself. He thought it would be better for her so that she didn't feel like she was still a baby that had to wear diapers. Kim pulled one out from the package and held it close to her side. Kim closed the closet door and walked over to the bed not letting Emily see what she had. "Okay, Emily come over here and we can get you out of that TIGHT pull-up" Emily slowly walked over towards her. Her pull-up crinkling the whole way. "Jump up on the bed." Emily did just that, thinking she was going to get out of the babyish pull-ups. Kim waited until Emily was seated on the bed before she let her see what she was holding. "I think these will be a better fit since those are so tight." Kim started to unfold the diaper so that Emily could see exactly what it was. Emily's eyes went as big as saucers when she realized Kim was holding a diaper. "Oooo...I...I don't think...Uhmm...I think these are okay....." Kim had to hold back the smile as she knew Emily would soon be begging to stay in her pull-ups. "Are you sure? We can try this and see if it's better for you." Emily wanted to jump down from the bed and run. "No...really..these seem to be okay now. I think...I think they stretched some....so..uhmm...they are good now." Kim decided to push this a little further and set the diaper down on the bed. She took Emily by the hands. "Let's just make sure. Can you stand up on the bed for me." Emily let Kim pull her to her feet. The plastic sheet sounded like popcorn popping as she moved around a little on the bed. Kim started pulling the pull-up in all different directions. "I don't know. Maybe it is a too tight. I don't want you to have any leaks tonight because really, if its going to leak then maybe we should go with the diaper." Emily had no doubt that there was no way it was going to leak because there was no way she was going to use it. "No....I think it will be fine.....I'm sure it will." Kim had a thought. "Will if you're sure, but if in the morning the sheets are wet, will then, I'm going to have to put you in a diaper at night." Emily wasn't worried about any leaks at all. "Uhmm..sure what ever. This will be okay. I promise." Kim held her hands. "Okay. If you are going to promise then. But if it does leak then no fighting tomorrow night about having to wear a diaper to bed." Emily didn't care. She would wake up dry and this would be all over anyway. "Okay. I won't fight about it." Kim helped Emily down, off the bed. She picked up the diaper and folded it back up. She set it on top the dresser. "Remember. No arguing tomorrow night. Right?" "I won't. I promise." Emily said. "Okay then. Get your pyjamas on." Emily took the pyjama bottoms and quickly pull them over her pull-up. She felt like she had won and she smiled pulling the pyjama pants over her new pull-up. Kim let her walk in front of her. The pyjamas did nothing to hide the fact, little Emily was wearing a pull-up. Emily stopped at the side of the couch when she saw Sarah. Sarah was wearing the exact same pyjamas has her. She felt a hand on her back. Sarah had been sitting, waiting for Emily to return so she could start the movie. "It's about time." she said. Kim pushed Emily around in front of Sarah and they both sat down. "Thank you for waiting Sarah." Kim said. Sarah picked up the remote and pressed play. Kim sat for a few minutes and got the girls comfortable. Emily ended up lying in the same position she had earlier. Kim could see Emily looking at Sarah but decided not to say anything. She got up and went to clean up the dinner dishes. Kim brought in their cups refilled up juice. Emily was just about to take a drink but stopped. With all the juice see had before and during dinner she needed to pee. She hadn't gone when she went into the bathroom to change into her pull-up. Emily sat up and set the cup on the coffee table. When she stood she heard the pull-up. Sarah turned and looked at Emily. "What are you doing?" "Uhmm. I need to use the bathroom." "Do you want me to pause the movie?" "No. That's okay." Emily said, and then stepped around between Sarah and the coffee table. Kim was just putting in the last of the dishes in the dishwasher when she heard something. She turned and saw Emily. "Everything okay Emily?" Emily stopped walking. "Yes. I just need to use the bathroom." Kim closed the dishwasher and walked towards her. "Okay." She held out her hand. "Let's go then." "It's okay. I can go." "Are you sure. I don't mind." "I can go by myself." "Okay. If you need any help just let me know." Emily had no problems using the bathroom but when she went to pull up the pull-up she stopped. She had thoughts of just taking the pull-up off and hiding it somewhere but then she thought of the diaper Kim was so close to putting her in. There was no way she wanted to take the chance of having to wear a diaper. The pull-up seemed much better. Emily pulled up the pull-up and then her bottoms. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands. Kim was waiting for her by the kitchen. "Everything go okay?" Emily almost rolled her eyes but caught herself. "Yes. Everything is fine." Kim clapped her hands together. "Good job honey." Emily did roll her eyes after getting congratulated for using the bathroom. Kim noticed the eye roll but didn't mention it. Emily made her way back onto the couch and curled up. The movie ended and it was close to 8pm. Kim had came in and sat in the chair closest to Emily. "I think it's time for bed girls. It's been a long day and we have lots to do tomorrow." Kim said. "Can't we watch the movie again?" Sarah asked. Kim laughed. "I think that's enough of that movie for one day." Kim stood and took a hold of Emily's hand. "Come on." Emily had no choice but to stand. Kim held Emily's hand and Sarah followed them into the bedroom. Kim helped Emily get into bed. She was about to help Sarah but stopped. "Sarah would you like to sleep in by room tonight?" Sarah smiled wide. "Yes." "Okay. You run along and I will be in in a few minutes." Sarah turned and ran out the door. Kim pulled the covers up over Emily. "I thought you might like the bed to yourself tonight. Sarah is a mover when she sleeps. Now, you have a good sleep." Emily didn't say a word and watched Kim turn the light off and shut the door.

I've been wearing diapers 24/7 for around a year now. As long as i can remember I've always wanted to wear diapers because i needed them, not because i had a fetish for them. At some point i said to myself what am i waiting for? There is never going to be a "good time." I just have to go for it. One day, randomly it seems, i woke up to a wet bed. I'd never been a bed wetter so I was excited and a little freaked out. After that I gained the courage i needed to take it further. I had long ago come to the conclusion that full incontinence, while fun, would be too disruptive to maintaining a "normal life." Not only that but sudden full incontinence would be really hard to explain to those around me. Becoming urinary incontinent on the other hand seemed reasonable and obtainable. So i started wetting the bed and my pants every chance i got. I wet my pants at work. At home. In public places. In front of friends and in front of family. After a while the embarrassment faded and changing my pants multiple times a day became normal for me and wet pants didn't bother me anymore. Those around me and the people that knew me understood that eventually I'd wet myself and have to change my clothes because of it. It was my family doctor who first suggested that I should wear "Depends" to protect myself. It was after that visit that my doctor put in my medical records a diagnoses of "urinary incontinence." For some reason seeing that written in my medical record gave me the freedom to wear diapers without any feelings of guilt. I had gotten the medical excuse that I was subconsciously looking for. I started wearing Depends pull-ups but found that they leaked and were ironically more expensive than actual tab style diapers while being less absorbent. It wasn't long until i transitioned into wearing tab style diapers 24/7. I found that wearing cloth diapers at night while wearing disposables during the daytime was the winning combo for me. Wearing diapers is like anything else it seems. Once you get into a routine that works for you time can go by rather quickly and it did for me. I don't remember at what point the bed wetting really took off. It started with not getting out of bed in the middle of the night to pee and wetting while i was still partially awake, making sure i was able to pee without pushing. Then one or two wet beds a week turned into three and now just about everynight i wet my bed or diapers while I'm asleep. Daytime incontinence has been harder to achieve. I would guess that I'm probably halfway there. I never hold back and always let go the instant the urge is present. Wetting while sitting still requires pushing down I find that most of the time when i wet is when I'm standing or walking around. I've tried not to put too much thought into it, that seems to be the real key in all of this. Just don't think about it. The more I let my body do it's thing without concentrating on my bodily functions the easier everything becomes. That's really what i wanted to get across here. For me at least all of the hurdles to incontinence have been mental not physical and I'm slowly getting passed them. I have no doubt that one year from now I'll be 100% urinary incontinent and diaper dependant just as my medical records describe and i couldn't be happier about it. Have patience, wear diapers and use them as they were intended and you will become incontinent given enough time. After all incontinence is not something that you should be able to flip on and off like a light switch. If being incontinent is what will make you happy and it's what you truly want in life you should go for it.

This has to be the most common debate in this forum and it will literally never change. There will be people who are repulsed that anyone would actually mess in public, there are people who insist they can do so respectfully without overexposing strangers to their kink, and then there's the occasional entitled person who seems to think it's totally fine to force a minimum wage clerk or fellow bus passenger to put up with their smell. In my opinion, the world is full of bad smells that we don't get to choose exposure to. If you're not exposing someone to your kink by interacting with them or forcing them to put up with your smell for a prolonged period, I don't see anything wrong with messing outside of your home (if you live with family or roomies, messing out of the home is often the choice that exposes fewer people to your kink, actually). So if you go to a park and sit on the grass to read, and you happen to be in a messy diaper, and then at some point find a proper facility to change or head home, I think this is fine. I'd say the hard line for my personal opinion on the matter would be waiting in line at a store. If nature calls when you're browsing Costco, go ahead, mess, but you should head to the bathroom or home after that, and getting into a long lineup is a hard nope. The fact is there is valid medical reasons to wear a diaper and most people know and respect this. If you are not doing anything particularly creepy or ageplayish when you're messy in public, I don't think you've exposed anyone to your kink, because they should be assuming you have a reason to be in diapers and that it's none of their business what that reason is.

Hi everyone, My name's Kimberley. So decided to join the forum after a long while lurking..lol. I'm a long time Tgurl and as with many of us evolved. In recent years I've become more leaning to my sissy side, still trying to understand, but I love the feeling it gives me. Along with this has come my desire for wearing nappies , though thats been something I have dreamed about for most of my adult life. It is in recent months I took the plunge and purchased my first nappies. I bought a whole 10 pack. The thrill of opening the parcel! to finally get to wear them..It has been bliss. Hope to share experiences and make friends here with our common interest. Hugs Kimberley..x

I was a little embarresed at fist but now it is just a normal occurence and I just deal with my nappies et in front of my wife without thinking about it.

We have seen the pampers swaddlers size 7 at the Wal-Mart we go to, but not the cruisers.

https://www.baby-pants.com/shortall.php They carry blue denim and choo choo stripe.

More, more, more, please. I am loving this story. Wish it was happening to me.

Well

For the first time last night, with my bag of defective Abena L4's, I utilized a preemptive pinning of both left-side tapes. Where the tapes are inadequately anchored to the back panel, I folded the "loop" back over the plastic flap and used one safety pin using an "in/out/in/out" zigzag. The "Second Chance" tapes are still functional and will be used this afternoon when rolling up this diaper. I will sacrifice the two safety pins with the wet diaper since I have a pack of 200 two inch safety pins.

Some art of Midori Kaneda from the end of Episode 4:

Chapter 17 I woke up early the next morning. It didn't surprise me. Even with all that happened, we'd gone to bed fairly early. The sun wasn't out but the room was well lit. I blew the candles out. They were almost dead. I'd have to change them before the next night. Kris was still asleep, or so far as I knew. He hadn't stirred. He never did, though. His eye was a lot worse than the day before. I felt sick at the sight. My fault. He needed to learn what a danger I was. I slipped my boots on my feet. I didn't feel clean today. This place didn't feel clean. I'd have to wash up again. "Going somewhere?" My words came with closed eyes, the way they tended to whenever Sidney awoke; despite all his best efforts to not disturb me from my slumber. I was a light sleeper. “Or is it the floor?" It was the level of understanding I had for the boy that made him most endeared by me, I bet. "Floor..." My words were soft. I'd slept in my t-shirt. I put my coat on next, my jeans still on from the day before. Would wash those, too. And the sheets, again. And the bed. I wasn't anxious, though. Not yet. Maybe I was still too sleepy to be anxious. It would come though, I was sure. After yesterday. "I'll help you clean.” My words were matter-of-factly and without any sense of annoyance or distaste - truly, I enjoyed helping the boy resolve his obstacles. "You know, now that we're dating, we could shower together. I never thought I'd see the appeal in cleaning someone else's body, but I think I'd enjoy that." I didn't say anything for a moment. But it needed to be said. It needed to get out there. "We aren't dating." I didn't wait around to be refuted again, though. I climbed up off the side of the bed and quickly said, "I'm going to shower." And with a grab of my towel, using the sleeve to open the door, I left. He didn't have time to get a word out. It was better that way. I washed my clothes in the shower. I just wanted to be clean. But what that meant was I had to walk back to the cabin with just the towel around me. It terrified me, honestly. But of course, I had my boots on. I had the wet clothes in one hand, doing my best to precariously balance them while holding the towel up with the other. By the time the boy got back to the cabin, clad only in a towel and his boots, I'd cleaned almost the entire floor to his exact standards - it was a blessing that his showers took as long as they did. And I knew he'd be able to tell, too. He could always tell, even with a glance, when something was clean enough for him and when something wasn't. I looked up with a smile, my knuckles raw a little from where I'd used the coarse scrubbing brush to clean them - a necessity to use clean hands when cleaning; or so I'd been told. "How was your shower, peach?" I blinked at the boy on his hands and knees and the still-wet wooden floor of the cabin. "You cleaned the floors...?" He nodded and I stepped in cautiously, taking my feet out of my boots before starting to hang the clothes on the line. I'd cleaned it yesterday - it would be okay for now. "Thanks... about the floors..." Why was he being so sweet? I mean, I liked that he was, but... "Anytime. I was hoping to get more done, but it's not like cutting corners is something that's going to have any positive outcome. Better to do it right, even if it takes a while." I stood up and showed the boy my hands so he'd know they were clean, and then took one of his in mine. "I wanna talk. About us." I took my hand out of his, walking past him and using the edge of the towel to open my trunk. I'd cycled through all the clothes I had by now, but I made sure to wash them periodically. "There is no us." I took a pair of underwear out of the chest first, then a t-shirt and my pajama pants. I had another pair of jeans but the pajamas were more recently cleaned. "I get that you're afraid. I get that you think that you're too obtuse for anybody to invest time into. That you're a burden and all that stuff - I get it. But you like me. And I like you, too." It was only a brief re-telling of last nights statements, but I felt as though he could use a reminder. He looked at me with a little frown. "Nod your head, Sidney." I nodded my head. Damnit. Why did I do that?! Whatever. It didn't mean anything. None of this did. Fleeting fancies. Just two boys who are lonely. Boys. And I'm not even gay. Maybe this was a joke. But people don't clean floors for a joke. "I gotta change... turn around, please..." "You dreamt about kissing me. You mumble in your sleep.” I smirked as I turned around and gave him a modicum of privacy. I didn't really know much what to make of my attraction to this boy; at first it had been purely emotional, but I'd had some pretty wonderful dreams myself and they'd definitely highlighted a certain degree of physical appeal. I hoped that by the time my shirt and pajamas were on that my blush had settled down. He wasn't lying. I hadn't known I mumbled, though - that was new information. I finally turned around and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew it was a defensive posture. It would keep him from getting too close, though. "People have dreams all the time. It's normal." "I bet you're blushing, too. I can hear it in your words. It's really attractive, you know. It's weird, a bit; discovering things I'm attracted to for the first time. All I can think about is how you're singly the most beautiful person alive." It wasn't like me to gush like that, not so openly. I was more subtle. But then, I was trying to make him blush more. Blushing was the most honest form of smile. I didn't have words. There was nothing I could say against that. Nothing I could do to refute. I was flattered. And I was dizzy. And I was anxious and blushing and happy and sad. Everything at once. I finally swallowed and looked down to my feet. Bare feet. I should put socks on. I did that next. "I'm going to... clean a bit. Could you get breakfast? I don't want to change out of my pajamas..." "The floor's done. I filled the red bucket fresh when I filled the blue, and I only used the blue so you can use the red." We'd appropriated ourselves a few item to make our lifestyle a little bit more manageable since we'd arrived, and although he wasn't a fan of using someone else’s equipment, Sidney did see the benefit. "I'll shower, then get us some food." He'd be okay on his own; especially here. He usually hurt himself most doing the floors; the other surfaces didn't pose so much risk. I wasn't used to thinking about something else while I was cleaning. So an hour later when Kris returned to our cabin and I was still washing the bed frame, I snapped back to reality with a bit of confusion. A whole hour and I'd barely gotten anything done. Ugh. This boy. With precise care in the kitchen tent, I'd platted up two servings of food - eggs and bacon on toast, with hash brown and mustard - and wrapped each in two brown paper bags; one from each end, overlapping, so as not to contaminate the food. I set the two parcels down on our table and adjusted my towel; not having gotten dressed since my shower preceding the breakfast pickup. “You should share what's on your mind." "Nothing's on my mind." I still had one of the posts of the bunk bed to do, but I put the brush down and made my way over to the little table. I didn't sit. I was clean. The seat was not. Nor was the table, so I made sure not to touch it as I got my food out. Food was always tricky with me. I never ate very well with pre-made food, though I'd been able to a few times in the past. Today, however, was not one of those days. I played with my eggs with a plastic fork - packaged - and didn't even move to bring the food to my mouth. I smirked and tugged a granola bar out from down the side of my towel and tossed it to the boy. Wrapped food made in a factory usually did okay - they tended to be sterile when packaged and those words were music to Sidney’s ears. "I'll get rid of the hot food once I get dressed. I figured it'd be too much; but never hurts to try, right?" He was still so contemplative, so withdrawn, and I wondered if any other person would be so depressed to know someone was interested in them. I used the towel, hanging on the wire, to open the granola bar and the sleeve of my jacket to hold it while I ate. My second jacket. I had three. "I appreciate the gesture anyway. I'm just picky." That wasn't even the half of it. "I know. Too many variables. Was the food kept at proper temperatures when being transported; did everybody involved maintain good levels of hygiene; has it been touched by bare skin at all during the process. And that's not even taking into account the variables once it's on the plate; weather and pollen and the effects of hot food rapidly cooling to room temperature." He looked at me with his mouth only slightly open; an absolute look of bewilderment. "See? I get it. I get you." "I like pasta..." I didn't look at him while I said it - I'd migrated back to the bunk bed, starting again to wash the top, though no one ever went up there anyway. I'd have to do the underside too. All 'just in case' stuff. "Boiling water kills germs. I thought it was the best way to wash my hands when I was eleven. It's not." "You know when I was at breakfast, one of the facilitators said they'd provide water purification tablets for anyone who wanted to stay out for a few nights in the woods. You drop one tablet into the water and it purifies it entirely, and then another one to get rid of the rancid taste. But I mean, could be good for getting really pure water for cleaning. Apparently it’s as good as boiling." My towel dropped to the floor as I ferreted about for my clothes for the day - I didn't think much of a need for modesty; Sidney was looking away anyway. I didn't talk again until Kris was dressed. Focus on cleaning. Scrub scrub scrub. By the time he wasn't shuffling around anymore, I looked up to find him fully clothed. Okay. "Um. I don't know. I'd probably have to learn the science before I drank any of that." I wasn't sure how tablets would make water less gross. If anything, it sounded more gross. "I don't know much about it. What's next on the cleaning agenda?" I picked up the food and deposited it outside out cabin door to take to the trash later; but it was out of sight and therefore out of mind; mercifully. "Table. Chairs. Then I'll do the walls and the ceiling." I only had one brush. Who would have thought I'd need more than one brush? But I didn't want Kris helping me anyway. This was something I did alone for multiple reasons, and though he'd bypassed most of them, he didn't bypass the distraction I needed. "You don't have to wait around, you know. I might be a while." "Okay. I'm going to go pick some berries." My smile was the same as ever, despite the swelling around my eye. I knew he liked the berries, and I knew that being able to eat something I got for him was a big deal - even if I had to boil and chill them first. "I'll be a few hours, so you can get everything done that you want to get done and then when I get back you can cuddle up to me on the bed and I'll read to you." It was the first time I'd suggested it - but in my dreams of last night it was something very regular. I didn't say no, but I didn't say yes either. One thing I learned was that not agreeing was very different to disagreeing. Especially when it came to a mute. So I let Kris leave knowing full well his 'story time' idea wasn't something that would be realized. Then I focused on cleaning. Really focused on cleaning - no distractions. It was any other day. No different than yesterday. ------------- Thank you for reading. Like & Comment! Consider supporting us on Patreon!

Author's Note: Just a heads up, I made a few slight edits to the beginning of this story. It's nothing major, I just changed the time period from Spring Break to Summer Vacation, and went more into detail how the main character looked. Hopefully, this doesn't bother anyone. But without further ado, here's the next chapter. Chapter 3 Joe was waiting for me outside of his house. “Hey Nick, what's up?” He asked, holding up his fist for me to bump. His hair had more of a messy brown style, and he had recently started growing a beard, compared to the peach fuzz he had back in high school. I smiled and bumped his fist back. “Not much. Finals were brutal this year.” I replied. Joe laughed at that, and we continued to talk as we walked around town, checking out some of the various stores. We eventually stopped at a local smoothie place for a drink. “You heard about that experiment going on in a week?” He asked. I raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “What do you mean?” Joe took out his phone and brought up a picture of what looked like a mounted laser cannon you'd see in a classic sci-fi movie. “What's that?” I asked. “It's this new device this scientist is working on.” Joe explained. “Supposedly, it can reverse the aging effects of expired food, which can be used to feed people in less fortunate places.” Joe then got up. “I'll be right back. I'm gonna blow up that bathroom.” He said, making me groan. “Aw, dude! Really?” I asked. “Do you have to put it like that?” “Well, I'm sorry.” Joe apologized sarcastically. “Not everyone can just poop our diapers whenever we need to go.” He added so casually, making my eyes widen as he walked to the bathroom. He knows too? How? Maybe everyone really thinks I need diapers. A few minutes later, Joe came back, and we left the smoothie place and kept walking. “So how's your family? Isn't your nephew's birthday coming up?” Joe asked. “Yeah, it is.” I replied. “We're having a party for him in a few days, do you want to come?” I asked. “Sure.” Joe replied. “Just promise me you and the little guy won't stink up the house together, okay?” He asked jokingly before laughing. Why was he being so casual about this? “Hey Joe? I get this sounds stupid, but remind me. How long have you known I need diapers for?” I asked, and yet again, he looked at me like my wallet was in my mouth. “Uh... since we first met?” He replied, unsure of why I asked him that question. “Why would you ask that?” “I just... wanted to make sure, that's all.” I replied. “Does anyone else know I wear diapers?” “Pretty much everyone else you know, dude. You don't really do a good job of hiding them.” Joe said, which only raised more questions. “Are you okay?” “Yeah, I just didn't sleep well last night, so my memory's foggy.” I said, trying to defend myself. As Joe and I went to Hidden Magic, I groaned as the store was closed for a few days. So I made a mental note to come back and talk to the man about what he sold me. A few hours later, we went our separate ways, and I headed back to my house. On the way back, I felt a spasm in my bladder, which made me freeze in place. Before I could think of anything else, I was actually peeing my pants! Or I guess I was peeing my diaper, if you want to get into technicalities... I couldn't do anything to stop the flow. By the time I stopped, my diaper was noticeably heavier and felt a little bulkier between my legs, actually making me waddle a little due to the thickness. Thankfully, I was almost home, so I could change into a new diaper (even if I don't have any underwear, a dry diaper is still much more pleasant to be in). When I walked through the front door, I saw Amanda taking Issac upstairs. “Hey Nick, how was your day?” She asked. “Alright, it's just... I need a change...” I replied nervously, my wide stance giving it away. Amanda chuckled. “You're not alone. Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Tush?” She cooed at Issac, making him giggle, and making me blush. So I went to my room to wait for Amanda to finish changing her son's diaper before she could start changing my diaper (I can't believe this is my life now). Amanda came in a few minutes later and helped me lay down on the changing table. So I covered my face as my diaper was untaped, and she started wiping me down. She picked up my diaper bag and took out a diaper out from it. “Wow, this thing's still full? You really didn't need a change all day?” She asked. “Maybe Mom was right about considering potty training you again.” Naturally, I was flustered by that comment. “Amanda, how old were you when were you potty trained?” I asked. “I was about three or four when I graduated to big girl underwear, why?” She asked as she lifted up my legs and slid a new diaper under my butt. “Then how come I'm twenty and still in diapers?” I asked, pointing to the various diapers and changing supplies under the table I was currently laying down on. “You were always hard to train.” She replied. “Mom and I tried potty training you when you were five, but you were really stubborn about it. Mom thought you just really liked your diapers.” Amanda took out the baby powder and started sprinkling it on my crotch. “We tried again when you were nine, but you still wouldn't budge. I don't think you've ever used a toilet once, much less wanted to.” That really made my reevaluate the situation I was in. Was I really so stubborn in this world that I never even wanted to use the bathroom? What else was my life like here? “Do you think it's possible to try potty training again?” I asked, realizing how ridiculous that question sounded coming out of my mouth. By then, Amanda had finished taping me into another diaper, one with cartoonish animal designs on the front (It honestly made me wonder who was making these babyish diapers in my size). “Mom said she'll think about it.” Amanda replied before leaving the room. I walked over to my bed and laid down, still contemplating everything that's happened to me in the past two days. Was it real, or was it a dream? I took out the pacifier and looked at it absentmindedly as I dozed off to sleep for a few hours. Look, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, okay? I was woken up by the pacifier emitting a red light from the jewel in the center, and I noticed the light was pointing out the window, almost like it wanted me to follow it. So I got on a pair of shorts and headed outside. I kept following the light, until I stopped at the forest where I first used the pacifier to transform. I noticed someone in front of me. There was a mysterious figure dressed in a black robe, holding a staff with a white crystal embedded in the top, as well as an expressionless black mask, making me wonder how he could even see through that, or if he (or she) was even human. “Hand over the gemstone.” The figure said while holding his free hand out in a voice so distorted, it almost sounded demonic. I took out the pacifier. “Do you mean this? Wh-Why do you need it?” I asked, holding it protectively. This guy didn't exactly look trustworthy. “That gemstone contains power incomprehensible to mortals like you.” The figure replied. “Why it bonded with you is beyond me.” “Wait, bonded? What do you--” Before I could finish asking, the figure shot a blast of energy at me from his staff. I barely dodged it by rolling out of the way. “Hand over the gemstone, or I will not make an effort to miss next time.” The figure said, holding his staff with both hands in a combative pose. Without even replying, I ran like hell trying to get away from this monster as he kept firing energy blasts at me, destroying the trees around me in the process. Eventually, I was stopped by a chain coming out of the ground and trapping my leg, and several more like it binding my lower half in place. I tried to break out, but I couldn't move. The mysterious figure approached me slowly. “This is your final chance. Hand over the gemstone to me, now.” The figure emphasized that last word with an even deeper pitch. If I actually had to go right now, it would be a good thing I was wearing a diaper. The figure raised me up so I would be standing while bound by the chains. I had the pacifier in my hand. I didn't know what exactly it was, or why this dude wanted it, but he didn't really look like a good guy to me. Either way, I couldn't let him have it. I held up the pacifier in my hand, and put it in my mouth, triggering the same bright flash as when I first used this last night. When the light faded, I was in the same onesie and cape, with my hair just as bright red as it was last night. Once again, I was... oh crap, I never thought of a cool superhero name for myself, did I? Eh, I'll think about it later. “You want to know how I bonded with this thing?” I asked. “I have no idea, but I'm about to show you why it didn't bond with you!” I answered, and with little effort, I broke my legs out of the chain and flew up and charged at him. As a response, the figure to fire more energy blasts at me. I kept dodging them as I flew down and tried to punch the guy, but my blows were incredibly uncoordinated. By some miracle, I managed to land an uppercut on the figure that knocked him back on the ground. I figured I knocked him out, so I flew away, but my leg was caught by another one of his magic chains! The difference is that this time, I was able to break it off my legs and throw it back at the figure like a set of bolas, tying him up and leaving him on the ground. “Leave me the hell alone!” I shouted at the figure with a mixture of anger and exhaustion, and then I flew away. While flying back to my house, I was wondering what that stranger meant by saying the pacifier “bonded” with me. If it actually bonded to me like the Omnitrix, how was he going to take it back? What was he even planning to do with it? I don't know, I was just too tired to even think of any answers. By the time I got back to my house and landed on the ground, I had already transformed back into my normal clothes. I entered the house and quietly walked back up to my room before I fell face first back into bed, then I was out like a light. ..... What did you think of this chapter? How did I do on the first fight? I wanted Nick's first battle to show how inexperienced he is in combat, much like how I am very inexperienced in writing fight scenes. Any kind of feedback on how I can improve, or if you just want to say you really like the story so far, is more than welcome, either through a reply or a DM. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

@diaperjack101 I must agree with @Elfy on this one - I don't care where you are, or how much protection you have on - If you mess, you are Gonna stink to someone! As Elfy points out, if YOU are used to the smell of yourself, you are "nose blind" to your own smell, while others will know. I've done it, and I know I stink, so someone who smells it can figure out what you have done if you are in close quarters. The Few times I have had an accident, Ive been on the tail end of my shift, or have been home, and able to deal with it. If I'm lucky, I can change at work in 15 minutes: If I have a blow out, I would have to clean it up and return to work, so I have all I need on board to deal with it If I mess like that, I believe the best thing to do would be to change if possible, as I can dispose of the garbage: If I had to work for the day and had a blowout, I would change, rather then to walk or sit on loaded diapers - Its more comfortable that way, and others don't have to smell that all day. My stepdad used to say "So, you think your ***T don't Stink....I got news for ya" It DOES You may not be able to smell it, but others can! Good Luck! Brian

If you think that then I can almost guarantee others will smell it and it will be much worse than you think it is. People who poop themselves often (and I'm one of them) can become "nose blind" tot heir smell. It doesn't mean you won't smell yourself but you'll become used to it and it will be less offensive. To other people it's still likely to be really bad. I don't know how well Nullo works though so that might make a difference, it may be something I want to try! Personally, the only times I've messed in public it was a genuine accident (and most of the time not padded...) but I've always been OK with the idea of messing if outside or able to get away from other people very quickly. I hate the thought that I might inconvenience someone with it.

A few years ago when I was single, I use to pee in my bed purposely almost every night. During the day I would open a window and have a fan blowing over the bed and by the next night it was fairly dry. I would repeat this for about 4 to 5 days and then poo in my bed or remove a pooped diaper while in bed as toddlers will sometimes do, then wash everything and repeat. I miss the way my well peed bed smelled. If I become single again.. my bed will get this again.

Many times during the period where I was about 13-18. I was chronic bedwetter growing up and slept in diapers and plastic pants nightly until I was about 13. At that point my mother gave me the option to sleep in what I pleased, as long as I was responsible for my own wash and clean up. Of course at that age, the stigma of sleeping in diapers was horrifying and since my bedwetting was starting to diminish I chose no diapers. My bed had a rubber sheet under the top sheet that wiped down easily after a sheet change and an accident. During that period I had regular accidents and "marinated" many nights in my wet bed.

I'm very glad you liked this chapter! I went a fairly experimental route with Chapter 13 and Chapter 14 so it's good that it's well received. So happy you like the universe I'm trying to build! I'm into both forced as well as more subtle regression methods which is why some characters are more forceful and transparent with their methods and others are more gentle and subtle, all with their own motives. The next chapter will focus a little more on that subtle regression that you enjoy since I like to kinda spread it out between the different characters and their methods so that people can more easily skip the sections they don't enjoy as much. Thank you very much for your feedback and I hope that I can continue to deliver something that appeals to you!

Generally I love your story. It is a really fascinating universe you have created. However I'm not the biggest fan of using force. I'm much more into the subtle way they are trying to lure him into baby hood [emoji3] I love that he also gets some sexual pleasure out of it though, because that's also for me a big thing when wearing diapers. This way I can better imagine myself in his place. Please keep up the good work. Sendt fra min SM-N975F med Tapatalk

Context upon context here, haha. I have a hypothesis that has been in development for some time of how neuro patterns are the underpinnings of all this. By all this I mean the habits of when and where to control your bladder. When I refer to the default mode it is the brain’s default neuro pattern that is active or would be activated in a particular situation, stimuli, etc. The reason why there can be a bleeding effect is because as we exercise and reinforce a specific pattern it gets stronger and more easily activated. If the brain has the choice of more than one strong patterns it’s going to choose one to be dominant, the go to, the default. This is where the tipping point comes in. As there has been such an effort in so many situations of just letting go and nature taking its course, even if it’s not intentional, it can become the default mode in one or more situations. Once this patter. Becomes dominant in one situation it is very easy for the neuro pattern to “reach out” and spread across more situations, maybe not being dominant at first, but certainly becoming stronger as it has more neurons that will trigger that pattern. Eventually those unintended, but not avoided situations can trigger the same pattern and the brain can even decide it prefers that pattern. This is where the snowball effect comes in. To explain the driving experience you mention I would bet that there are physical barriers that have not changed enough. Driving or sitting in general is often a huge barrier for many to wet freely and comfortable. This is due to pressure on various parts of the body, posture, more difficult shifting positions etc. This can be enough to stop that default mode, at least for awhile. Of effort, intentional practice is made to be able to easily wet in that specific position, the pattern that makes this ease of wetting, at a conscious level while being in a car (shifting weight, lifting hips, all the fidgeting etc) can activate or get activated as the two patterns become wired together and thus can trigger one another. Onto bed wetting. It is accepted in many medical circles that bed wetting is habitual rather than structural. This is why it’s so hard to stop and start, and why it’s so tightly coupled to what is worn etc. the habit, and therefore the default mode is both unconscious, and subconscious. Meaning, all other things being equal the brain will rely on the default mode for the specific circumstance. At first this can be tied or coupled very closely with only in diapers for instance. But as diapers become the dominant/majority that pattern again gets highly reinforced, meanwhile the pattern of not wetting when not wetting gets weaker and may even get pruned. Both are culprits to eventually wetting while not diapered; that bleeding effect. I don’t think it gets mentioned often enough, but bed wetting most often occurs Between sleep cycles, or at the very end of them. It is also typical for anyone to wake up for 1-3 minutes between sleep cycles- this is actually normal and something people don’t typically remember (this occurs to most everyone and is independent of bed wetting). Just like everyone else, and just like bed welters this is the most likely time for someone to both wake up AND wet the bed, and both are likely not to be consolidated to long term memory or even recalled upon or shortly after waking. This neuro pattern hypothesis also has another implication, in that it not coupled to the physical strength of any muscles. All of the keeping relaxed is what reinforces the pattern, and although the weakness is correlated with higher levels of loss of control, it is not required and is merely a result of the most efficient ways of staying relaxed. Once those patterns become default there are only coupled to the relaxed state and not the physical strength. Later on as I mentioned all of this can have physical results/impacts once the nervous system (ANS specifically) gets involved through brain body communications. Going back to your points on this not being an all the time thing, that doesn’t change the unintended neuro pattern bleeding that could hit that tipping point. It also explains the ups and downs as there as many variables in any situation the can cause one pattern to be chosen by default over another, when the brain has multiple strong patterns to chose from. Specifically I would guess that small amounts of alcohol are enough to filter out some of those variables and result in the wet mornings. This can also be seen as a sign that the two competing patterns are about equal strength right now and which one that gets activated is highly coupled to the variables in a specific situation. It also points to the tipping point already being present and the possibility of the unconscious wetting pattern to gain even more strength and reinforcement while the conscious wetting simultaneously losing strength, and thus leading to the snowball effect. .....pretty much this entire hypothesis is centered upon and pulls from different areas of neurology, psychology, physiology as well as to a lesser degree personal experience.

I have to admit diaper sex is awesome. I for one adore water sports as does my girlfriend. she wears diapers around the house as well as I do. One of my favorite things to do is to hug her from behind and kiss her neck,, while all this is happening i will pull down the back of her diaper and insert my penis in her diaper and pee on her backside. We do this as a game and she always gets me back.. but erotic diaper play can be had many ways. I would love to get deeper into it (pun intended) but I have no clue how a censor would make me feel. Another great pass time is cuddling on the couch and my girlfriend reaches in my diaper and grabs my penis while i am peeing and rubs my genitals while I pee. We both adore diaper play and it spices up our lives. I don't believe in holding back.. My Girlfriend always tells me life is too short, and to live like tomorrow is your last day on the planet.. I truly believe her philosophy.

So glad you like it! I'll probably start on Chapter 14 this weekend (Sunday and Monday are when I have the most free time.) I'll try not to keep you waiting too long! Happy you're enjoying it! Chapter 14 will be in the works soon, I hope that it'll meet or surpass expectations. I'm genuinely interested to see what you think is going to happen next, I'd be very surprised if you managed to guess it correctly, but I welcome you to give it your best shot.