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By Baby Jemma · Posted
Okay, it's been a while since I got a chapter for this story, but here it is! CONTENT WARNINGS for described torture and massive PTSD...and a talking bat plush, if you've got chiroptophobia. Viewer discretion is advised. And with that, here is the fourth chapter: - Chapter Four: Setting Boundaries - Bunny saw me screaming my head off and immediately went to my side. She gathered me - and my bags - in her muscular 6’3” arms like one would a baby, almost cradling me as she whispered gently in that rough Australian accent of hers, “Miri. Miri, it’s all good.” I stopped screaming, even though I both loved and hated her touch, loved and hated her carrying me away from the company grounds. I was still trembling like a newborn kitten, my breath hitching, as I fought not to cry, I would not fucking cry ever again, trying to regain control of my emotions flying in the Taos wind. At least she called me by the name I wanted. Miri. Short for “Al-Miraj”. Mythic Company’s callsigns were all mythical creatures of lore, and I was no exception. It was a name I actually liked, that I was proud of, even if I hated how they abandoned me, said they never knew me and weren’t responsible for my actions, left me to rot in Belarus- I flashed back, waterboarding, dunking my head constantly in icy cold water - and judging from the taste, mixed with their piss - demanding I give them what they wanted, but I didn’t even know what they wanted; I told them everything I knew when the hot poker went in my ass, when the cattle brand carrying a permanent mark went on my back, after every possible method of torture they inflicted on me- “Miri.” Bunny’s voice got me back to the present, back to the stupid hot weather in Taos outside, as I was hyperventilating from my flashback. “Miri, just breathe for me. In and out, in and out.” I did. It barely calmed me down, but it was enough to get out of the flashback. Fuck, why was Bunny’s voice calming me down? I hated her. I hated everyone in Mythic Company. “Why are you here?” I growled. “To see me so low? Is that it?” Bunny genuinely looked hurt. “I didn’t know it would be you…at first,” she answered simply. “Beryl didn’t give me specifics on who I was caregiving for, just that it was someone who was close to her who needed a helping hand-” “Fucking liar!” I snarled. “You knew it was me from the moment you came here, you knew I was from Taos, you knew everything!” Her kind expression never changed. Her brown eyes were calm, her dark brown pixie cut fluttering in the heavy wind, holding me against her enormous breasts like I was a baby. And maybe that’s all I fucking was, a stupid fucking baby who was so fucked that she couldn’t even take care of her own needs. And of course, my diaper had a tell-tale stench emanating from it because of course it had to have shit and piss in it. I’m fucked up. I’m fucked in every fucking way. “I swear to God Almighty, Miri, I did not know it was you,” she said in a calm tone. “Fuck that,” I said angrily, feeling myself piss my diaper even more. “Miri, I’m a Catholic. I’m not going to swear to God unless I mean it.” “Fine,” I grumbled. “I suppose you’re going to change my diaper, too?” “Unless you can,” she said teasingly before her eyes showed sympathy that…somehow felt good. “My car’s over by the garage; Ms. Blades had to call in to get me there. Don’t worry about your car, Miri, it’s kinda, well…” “A piece of junk?” I answered bluntly. “Yeah, that.” “Can you put me down?” I muttered. “OH, sorry, I didn’t realize!” She let me on my feet, and I waddled as I followed her to her car: a fancy white 2020 Chrysler Pacifica minivan that had New York plates. “Let me guess: Bear bought that car for you?” I said in a caustic voice. “And you’re going to have me change myself on the pavement?” “No on both accounts.” Bunny’s voice was genuinely kind; if there was one thing I prided myself on, it was noticing people’s true feelings. “Bought the van with the first payment by Ms. Blades, and I’m not going to let you change your nappy on the hot pathway; I can’t imagine that’s comfortable.” I was confused. “You’re going to allow me to change myself in your car?” “Of course. You really think I care about the van more than you?” “I didn’t think you cared at all!” I snarled, suddenly angry again, suddenly screaming again. “You left me! ALL OF YOU JUST LEFT ME TO ROT IN THE WORST HELLHOLE IN EXISTENCE!” “And I can never be sorry enough for it.” Bunny’s voice was trembling, and I could see the tears in her eyes. Tears of genuine remorse. “I can say that I personally tried, but it doesn’t matter because it wouldn’t be enough to convince you - and rightfully so; you’re the one who was kept in that hellhole. “Mythic Company bailed on Belarus when the crackdown happened, when the shots were fired. Nobody knows who fired first, but it didn’t matter; it was a private military company, and the second there was trouble, it was disavowed by Denmark, scattered to the winds, its members never allowed back in Belarus - or Denmark, for that matter - ever again, or we’d be jailed. “Miri, I know you hate me, and you have every right to hate me.” Bunny was crying. “You have every right to never trust me again. But…I can’t leave you like this, can’t leave you again, and I need this job. “This can be as transactional as you want it to be. If you don’t want to trust me, that’s fine. If you want to hate me, no worries. Even if you never want to talk to me again, and just need me for help around the house, then I won’t press the issue. The only thing I can’t do is leave because that would be betraying you all over again. You do need help - only around the house, mind you; if that’s all you want, that’s fine,” she quickly added, “I just…I can’t leave you holding the bag again. It was bad enough last time.” I breathed heavily, trying to find any untruth in her words. There was none. I walked over to the minivan, my shoulders sagging in defeat, knowing I couldn’t do this on my own. And if she’s the worst part of it, so what? I can just ignore her. She unlocked the door before I got there, and I got in the car, ready to get myself changed. My skirt was totally ruined from the diaper and would likely need to be put in the washer and dryer, whenever that happened. I took off the diaper, balling it and throwing it out of the car angrily. I got out another one, changed myself…only for Bunny to laugh. “What’s so fucking funny?” I snapped. “It’s just…you really haven’t got it sorted,” my former squadmate said defensively. “If this is what you’ve been doing, it’s not right.” I looked down in confusion. Sure, it was a little…loose and haphazard, but it was how I usually did it; I just didn’t care how it was done so long as it was done. “Can I help with a new one?” she asked. “This one’s going to leak.” I sighed in defeat. “Fine, since you insist so much.” If there were two words to describe Bunny, they were maternal and mature; I thought she’d make an excellent mom, even when she and I were squadmates, and she proved it here, even tickling me on my stomach, to my unwilling laughter as she got a new diaper on me…and it actually seemed like a decent fit, better than what I did. She looked a bit guilty. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “Got a little carried away. I know you’re not a baby, Miri, and I’m sorry-” “It’s fine, Bunny,” I grumbled. “The therapist is going to be some stupid age-regression shit anyway, so I’ll probably be nothing more than a big fucking baby eventually.” “Still, I know you’re an adult, and you’d rather be treated like an adult. If I ever go too far, please say it; I’d rather know your boundaries than overstep any.” I wanted to say something sarcastic…but it really was a nice thing for Bunny to do. I kept my mouth closed and nodded instead. “Okay. Feel free to get in whichever seat you want.” “Even the driver seat?” I asked, fully expecting the answer to be a resounding “no”. “Even the driver seat.” “Fuck, I…sorry.” “You weren’t expecting me to say that, I know. But I want nothing more than for you to be as autonomous as you want to be. If you want to be a full adult with only a tiny bit of help, that’s fine. If you need more help and want to ask, that’s fine. Even if you want me to completely baby you and take care of you, that’s fine as well. I don’t mind any way you want; I just want you to be safe and happy.” I felt guilty. Yeah, I didn’t like Bunny, maybe even hated her…but thus far, she had treated me better than anyone in my current life had, even Beryl, whose babying comments were a little…much. “I’ll…I’ll let you know when I need help,” I said. “I’ll let you drive; I’ve got shotgun.” “Of course. Do you want your plush animal? I got him from the house, and he really does seem soft-” “Not…not now. Do you have a spare skirt?” “I…oh, shit, I’m sorry…I can stop at a shop, get you one quickly. What size?” “Size five. It’s U.S., just to let you know.” “Of course. Silly United States shit; bad enough they don’t know to put the roads right…” I managed to keep myself from laughing at Bunny’s whimsical ranting about how the roads were all wrong in the States as we got into the minivan and drove away from my work. I kept the smile off my face as we drove to a shop, as she exited the minivan to get a skirt. I waited, listening to music on my dying phone, hoping that nobody would see me in just a blouse and a diaper, and she was back…surprisingly quickly with a long black skirt. “Hope it’s fine?” she asked. I took off the tags and put it on. “Thanks, Bunny.” “Any time. Now for the therapist…” The therapist’s office was somewhere on the outskirts of Taos, and the traffic was being terrible as always, maybe even worse than usual, with everything slowed to a fucking crawl. I was bored; there was only so much I could do on my phone, and it was nearly dead. Fuck it. “Bunny, can I have my stuffed animal?” I asked politely. “Sure, Miri.” She reached back to the seats and handed me the large black-and-brown bat; if I had to guess, it had a sixty-inch wingspan (with black wings) and it was just as big from the large ears to the tiny feet. The bat had a friendly face pointed towards me, its black eyes still shiny, a furry brown ruff around its neck. It was surprisingly - shockingly - soft for having been in my mother’s possession all those years ago. Still, it’s just a fucking stuffed animal. It’s just supposed to be for those stupid age regression sessions. I sighed. “Hey, whatever your name is,” I muttered, not expecting any answer. “Guess we’re friends and all.” “It’s so nice to meet you, Breezee. I’m Blizzard, and it’s an honor to be your companion!” I utterly froze at the high-pitched squeak of a voice. There was no fucking way this thing was talking to me. “Of course, I’m talking to you, Breezee. Of course, it’s only you; my magic doesn’t extend to people outside of your family.” I was about ready to start screaming again when the squeaky voice said in my mind, “Please don’t scream; it’ll just make people think you’re crazy.” That’s it, I’m nuts, I snapped, I went crazy and shot a bunch of people, and I’m in some mental ward thinking that I’m here- “Um, why are you rambling, Breezee?” I realized, eyes wide open, that this day had quickly gone from “rowing up shit creek without a paddle” to “swimming in the shit creek”. And it hadn’t even gotten to the worst parts. - Hope y'all enjoyed~ -
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Well, in a nihilist kind of way it’s a win-by-no-contest. The other party has registered their displeasure with events but also signalled that they plan to stoically accept the outcome. What was interesting to me was that her disclosures (so far as they were reported, I’m sure I don’t have the full picture) suggest that she’s been aware all along that this was a discretionary choice rather than some physiological necessity. I would have thought that this insight alone might have provoked attempts at intervention from her much earlier. Her (at least partially correct) supposition that your choice has developed into outright dependency makes it even more surprising to me that she’d watch that ship sail in silence. I mean, don't rely on her to tell you about that funny mole on your back that's been growing rapidly for the last 6 months or such things🤣 -
By Alyeskabird · Posted
Betterdry/crinkles in my experience where very absorbent, lasted me overnight. I am a side sleeper most of the time, so wicking is important. They are good at wicking, better than most I have seen. They are reasonably priced for what they are, so I can see a lot of folks just likeing them for all of that. On the other hand, I had issues with how thin the plastic was. I would need to adjust the taps in the middle of the night because the plastic had stretched so much. The padding did have a tendency to clump, and fall apart over time as well. -
By diaperguy85 · Posted
The poor moo-cows! I'm sure there's going to be something big coming to a head next few chapters! Can't wait!!
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