My diaper Unpotty Training 24/7 Journal!

[Diapersarecool1]

As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to truly need diapers. At around middle school age, I started buying real adult diapers from the store. Also, around that time, I found ABDL on the internet and eventually this forum. Over the past 15 years, I have read every post on the Incontinence desires forum multiple times. Some of my favorite to read, have included the different journals on untraining. In 2017, I met my (now) wife, she is also into diapers. At this point, I went 24/7 and started wearing all the time.  I wore mostly thrift store diapers and some all in one cloth diapers. It lasted about 6 months and when I started my career job, I got busy with life and stopped wearing full time. My desires have not went away. And my bladder hasn't really gotten much bigger after the considerable shrinkage that occurred during the 6 months.

September 6th 2022 we went on vacation. I wore diapers. This was my start date. I started with Abena L4's. I used them for both messing and wetting on that vacation. My intentions going forward are both messing and wetting everywhere except work, where I will only pee, until I get more comfortable with public changing and I am thinking that will be a long time out from now. I am going to journal about it to the best of my ability as I am sure there are many other people who like reading about it. Also hopefully, it will provide me with support on things that I am having trouble with. Anyway first journal entry-

I wore my first diaper to work in 4 years this past Sunday. It was the first diaper that I have ever worn to my career job. The diaper was a Megamax. I wore it under Athletic fit 34x34 Levi Jeans. The jeans are slightly too big without a diaper and fit ok with a diaper, except for that the diaper is glaringly obviously bulging in the front when dry and after an hour of peeing in it, I stopped because I was worried it would get too big. After work I went up to the store and tried on several different fit jeans.  I bought 2, a regular fit Wrangler 38x34 and an athletic fit 38x32 Wrangler. I tried them on later at home, with a now moderately full mega max and the diaper was hopelessly obvious. I returned the pants the next day. For now I have been wearing a Abena L4 under the Levi's. It is pretty obvious but not to bad. I am afraid to change it at work and due to my pants situation, I haven't been peeing in it. On changing, I am avoiding changing as the restroom is literally a bathroom with 2 stalls, located on a long walk from my locker or car and past all of my coworkers. I have worked with all of these people for a few years now and am embarrassed to change when there is literally almost always someone in the next stall. So the plan is a Mega max to last me the shift and an emergency change in the locker.  I am open to pant type recommendations to hide a bulky diaper like the Megamax. For body size reference, I am 5'10 and 230 with big thighs. 

[DiaperboyEddie12]

11 minutes ago, Diapersarecool1 said:

As long as I can remember, I have always wanted to truly need diapers. At around middle school age, I started buying real adult diapers from the store. Also, around that time, I found ABDL on the internet and eventually this forum. Over the past 15 years, I have read every post on the Incontinence desires forum multiple times. Some of my favorite to read, have included the different journals on untraining. In 2017, I met my (now) wife, she is also into diapers. At this point, I went 24/7 and started wearing all the time.  I wore mostly thrift store diapers and some all in one cloth diapers. It lasted about 6 months and when I started my career job, I got busy with life and stopped wearing full time. My desires have not went away. And my bladder hasn't really gotten much bigger after the considerable shrinkage that occurred during the 6 months.

September 6th 2022 we went on vacation. I wore diapers. This was my start date. I started with Abena L4's. I used them for both messing and wetting on that vacation. My intentions going forward are both messing and wetting everywhere except work, where I will only pee, until I get more comfortable with public changing and I am thinking that will be a long time out from now. I am going to journal about it to the best of my ability as I am sure there are many other people who like reading about it. Also hopefully, it will provide me with support on things that I am having trouble with. Anyway first journal entry-

I wore my first diaper to work in 4 years this past Sunday. It was the first diaper that I have ever worn to my career job. The diaper was a Megamax. I wore it under Athletic fit 34x34 Levi Jeans. The jeans are slightly too big without a diaper and fit ok with a diaper, except for that the diaper is glaringly obviously bulging in the front when dry and after an hour of peeing in it, I stopped because I was worried it would get too big. After work I went up to the store and tried on several different fit jeans.  I bought 2, a regular fit Wrangler 38x34 and an athletic fit 38x32 Wrangler. I tried them on later at home, with a now moderately full mega max and the diaper was hopelessly obvious. I returned the pants the next day. For now I have been wearing a Abena L4 under the Levi's. It is pretty obvious but not to bad. I am afraid to change it at work and due to my pants situation, I haven't been peeing in it. On changing, I am avoiding changing as the restroom is literally a bathroom with 2 stalls, located on a long walk from my locker or car and past all of my coworkers. I have worked with all of these people for a few years now and am embarrassed to change when there is literally almost always someone in the next stall. So the plan is a Mega max to last me the shift and an emergency change in the locker.  I am open to pant type recommendations to hide a bulky diaper like the Megamax. For body size reference, I am 5'10 and 230 with big thighs. 

@Diapersarecool1 welcome to Daily Diapers Feel free to browse the forums.  Also feel free to join us in chat sometime.

As for what to wear and stuff.  I believe many of the people here will help you out.  I just wear Jeans or shorts.  that are one size bigger.

My Good friend @~Brian~ can chime in and help you out.  and there are a lot of others on this same journey as you.

Like @Enthusi @Little Sherri @oznl there are a lot more people I just can not remember them on the top of my head.

 

[oznl]

1 hour ago, Diapersarecool1 said:

I have worked with all of these people for a few years now and am embarrassed to change when there is literally almost always someone in the next stall. So the plan is a Mega max to last me the shift and an emergency change in the locker.  I am open to pant type recommendations to hide a bulky diaper like the Megamax. For body size reference, I am 5'10 and 230 with big thighs. 

I've been 24/7 for the last 3.5 years continuously and I work.  Whilst my blog thread is not on the "incontinent desires" forum, it has a fair bit of un-training history there.   I also find that the best strategy to manage office diaper changing is to wear a product capacious enough to simply allow me to avoid changes.

During the office day I typically use a Rearz Hybrid Elite (aka "Barry") but for a while I used BetterDry (Megamax are prohibitively expensive downunder for daily driver use).  To tame the bulk and leak risk of a 12 hour diaper, I use Gary PUL pants over the diaper and a black women's "shapewear" pant over the lot.  If exposed, it looks like underwear but the slight compression helps hide "visible nappy lines" and keep things in place.

It's been no problem.

[Kawaharu]

1 hour ago, Diapersarecool1 said:

I wore my first diaper to work in 4 years this past Sunday. It was the first diaper that I have ever worn to my career job. The diaper was a Megamax. I wore it under Athletic fit 34x34 Levi Jeans. The jeans are slightly too big without a diaper and fit ok with a diaper, except for that the diaper is glaringly obviously bulging in the front when dry and after an hour of peeing in it, I stopped because I was worried it would get too big. After work I went up to the store and tried on several different fit jeans.  I bought 2, a regular fit Wrangler 38x34 and an athletic fit 38x32 Wrangler. I tried them on later at home, with a now moderately full mega max and the diaper was hopelessly obvious. I returned the pants the next day. For now I have been wearing a Abena L4 under the Levi's. It is pretty obvious but not to bad. I am afraid to change it at work and due to my pants situation, I haven't been peeing in it. On changing, I am avoiding changing as the restroom is literally a bathroom with 2 stalls, located on a long walk from my locker or car and past all of my coworkers. I have worked with all of these people for a few years now and am embarrassed to change when there is literally almost always someone in the next stall. So the plan is a Mega max to last me the shift and an emergency change in the locker.  I am open to pant type recommendations to hide a bulky diaper like the Megamax. For body size reference, I am 5'10 and 230 with big thighs. 

I've been in diapers 24/7/365 for a very long time. I am kept in diapers permanently due to my incontinence and being an adult baby helps me deal with being diapered. So for me I have been in diapers for a long time and have not been potty trained. I don't see myself ever being potty trained anytime soon. The best thing for me is have a diaper a booster that can last 12 hours. 

For me, I wear Megamax diapers and depending on what I am doing will dictate how many boosters I will wear. If I am going to work, I will have 3 boosters to make sure I can make it through work and with enough room to make it home and have a diaper change. At home, I will always have two boosters to make sure I can last 12 hours without having to change unless I poop or pee in them. 

[MLDK]

On 9/21/2022 at 8:53 AM, oznl said:

During the office day I typically use a Rearz Hybrid Elite (aka "Barry") but for a while I used BetterDry (Megamax are prohibitively expensive downunder for daily driver use).  To tame the bulk and leak risk of a 12 hour diaper, I use Gary PUL pants over the diaper and a black women's "shapewear" pant over the lot.  If exposed, it looks like underwear but the slight compression helps hide "visible nappy lines" and keep things in place.

@oznldo you have a link to the shapewear you use to hide diaper outlines. I may have to look into this as well.

[Cute_Kitten]

A part of going 24/7 or untraining is mental, making that shift from diapers are optional to "I decided to untrain. From here on out, it's diapers. No choice, no matter what. It's diapers. Even if I'm not untrained/ incontinent physically, I need to act like it mentally."   A lot of that adjustment seems to be mental/ emotional- there are other threads in the incontinent desires subforum where users have talked about this.

I say do whatever works for you and makes you comfortable in the moment and eventually you'll get where you want to go. This is a great place for tips and tricks like the compression garments to help with diaper bulge. Good luck on your journey and thanks for sharing! 

[Hannah YMS]

On 9/24/2022 at 8:28 AM, Cute_Kitten said:

A part of going 24/7 or untraining is mental, making that shift from diapers are optional to "I decided to untrain. From here on out, it's diapers. No choice, no matter what. It's diapers. Even if I'm not untrained/ incontinent physically, I need to act like it mentally."   A lot of that adjustment seems to be mental/ emotional- there are other threads in the incontinent desires subforum where users have talked about this.

I say do whatever works for you and makes you comfortable in the moment and eventually you'll get where you want to go. This is a great place for tips and tricks like the compression garments to help with diaper bulge. Good luck on your journey and thanks for sharing! 

Truth! I'd even go so far as to say it's mostly mental and partially physical.

[oznl]

On 9/24/2022 at 5:07 PM, MLDK said:

@oznldo you have a link to the shapewear you use to hide diaper outlines. I may have to look into this as well.

Something like this works pretty well for me.

https://www.kmart.com.au/product/2-pack-seamfree-shaping-short-s125371/

I prefer the black ones but YMMV ?

 

[Diapersarecool1]

Update-I found some pants that fit well. Last week I threw out all of my old clothes that didn't fit over diapers as well as my underwear. I also set up a case of mega max diapers and a pack of Northshore Supreme on auto ship every 8 weeks. The plan is to wear a Megamax at work every day and have the Northshore Supreme on hand for spending time with family and friends.  The rest of the time I wear cloth. I already have an assortment of different all in one's, pre-fold, and flat unfolded diapers.  

As far as untraining goes, I drink a lot of water when at home and focus on staying relaxed. I have also spent a fair amount of time on getting comfortable peeing in specific situations. My house has a lot of stairs so I have focused on being able to pee with every step. Another thing I have been working on is getting comfortable peeing during exercise. I take the dog for a walk daily and have no problem walking and peeing, what I am working on is getting more comfortable peeing while jogging into running; I am not quite there yet.

For nighttime, I pee every time I wake up (usually once a night). I try not to move and get back to sleep as quick as I can. I am considering buying a watch with a vibrating alarm so that I can set 2 alarms a night to wake up and pee without waking my wife up. 

At work, I pee really well the first few hours of my work day. As long as I am not interacting with someone, which is rare; I can pee freely and constantly.  After a few hours the peeing stops and it feels like I have to poop. I go to the bathroom (because I am not ready for changing a messy diaper at work) and sometimes a little bit will come out, sometimes nothing will come out. Either way the urge remains and it is really annoying because it basically stops me from freely peeing for the rest of the day. I think it may be because I haven't been drinking that much water at work because I am worried about leaking. The lack of water combined with slight pushing to get pee out that isn't there has maybe caused this urge to poop. As far as #2 habits go before starting untraining-I usually go 2-3 times in the morning. I work the afternoons and usually I don't have to go basically any time but the morning. 

[Diapersarecool1]

I posted this on thread on retraining-

4 years ago, I went 6 months full time in diapers. I got comfortable wetting, anywhere, all the time. At some point life got busy and stressful and I abandoned untraining. Today, 4 years later I can only hold my bladder for an hour and a half at a time, if I don't drink anything.  I have noticed also, any amount of caffeine and more than a couple cups of water will make my bladder constantly irritated  and even right after peeing I feel like I have to go really bad again. The result is that often I feel the need to pee, ignore it and go on with my day until it becomes completely unbearable at which point I will go use the bathroom. Prior to untraining, I could go hours without peeing. 

Why do I mention this? I have had a sore lower back for the past 4 years. My doctor said it is wear and tear and that stretching regularly will help. I have a different thought process. In the past week, my back hasn't hurt for the first time in 4 years. I am thinking that constantly ignoring the constant need to pee had made it hurt. The muscles are all connected and think it made everything tight which caused pain.

[FretaBWet]

On 9/28/2022 at 10:53 AM, Diapersarecool1 said:

For nighttime, I pee every time I wake up (usually once a night). I try not to move and get back to sleep as quick as I can. I am considering buying a watch with a vibrating alarm so that I can set 2 alarms a night to wake up and pee without waking my wife up. 

You might want to reconsider setting an alarm to wake up to pee. If your goal is to be IC and use diapers setting an alarm at night would be counter productive. The goal is to use your diapers without having to think about it. Achieving this goal will make you functionally incontinent and you will need to be diapered. Waking yourself is scheduling your wetting and will not be helpful in your untraining. The other benefit you'd be missing out on is a good uninterrupted night of sleep each night. For many of us bed wetting without waking up is a major advantage of being in diapers full time. I suspect this will become apparent as your bladder shrinks and you have to wake up five times a night to pee and you never get a good night's sleep. Just some food for thought to help you along in your journey.

Hugs,

Freta

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, FretaBWet said:

You might want to reconsider setting an alarm to wake up to pee. If your goal is to be IC and use diapers setting an alarm at night would be counter productive. The goal is to use your diapers without having to think about it. Achieving this goal will make you functionally incontinent and you will need to be diapered. Waking yourself is scheduling your wetting and will not be helpful in your untraining. The other benefit you'd be missing out on is a good uninterrupted night of sleep each night. For many of us bed wetting without waking up is a major advantage of being in diapers full time. I suspect this will become apparent as your bladder shrinks and you have to wake up five times a night to pee and you never get a good night's sleep. Just some food for thought to help you along in your journey.

Hugs,

Freta

@Diapersarecool1@FretaBWet

Freta is right:  When you are planning to go 24/7, and do #1's or #2's, the IDEA is that you don't WANT to be setting alarms, getting up in the middle of the night, or planning to get up to pee or mess. Think of this from the prospective of a baby:  You diaper a baby, because he/she does NOT know anything other than to release in a diaper:  Babies don't wake up to use the potty, but they may stir, and then do the deed, and fall back asleep, or they may sleep through the night, and you find a wet/messy diaper in  the morning.  Babies release without thinking about it, and THAT is key:  You don't HAVE to worry about it, and what you need to do is start wearing ALL the time, and when I SAY ALL THE TIME, this is EXACTLY what I mean, NO toilets, and you USE your diapers like a baby would.  If you are wearing all the time, you will start feeling the need to release, and you will eventually just release in your diapers, as you get used to it, but you NEED to wear all the time, and remember, that EVERYTHING goes into your diapers, NO EXCEPTIONS!

I wear diapers 24/7. because of CP, and mobility issues, and I have issues with getting a GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP - I spend anywhere from 30-45 minutes in the bathroom when this happens, and then I lose precious time in sleep, because I am bouncing all over the place.

i wear diapers also, because I don't have to get up, in the middle of the night, and have to spend all night in the bathroom - Wearing diapers means, that you ARE going to wet yourself, and you ARE gonna mess yourself, and the idea is, that once you get over the idea that its a bad thing, it will be as easy as pie to do it - being incontinent has advantages, because you don't have to run to the bathroom everytime you feel it, you can just let it happen - Today i've gone 5-6 times in my diaper, and I have a pair of pink trifectas on for protection, and I DON'T worry about it - I let it happen

Being Incontinent, the idea is that the diaper is your toilet, and it DOES come in  handy, especially when you are somewhere and there is no public restrooms, like during the pandemic:  You have your bathroom, so you use it

Good Luck!

Brian

 

[Diapersarecool1]

Thanks for the replies everyone. 1 and 1/2 month update:

On sleeping, per advice on this thread, I have not set any alarms while sleeping-I just drink an extra cup of water. I have been waking up 1-2 times a night to pee. I just pee and go back to sleep it has definitely gotten easier. I use cloth diapers at night, which work well for me being a side sleeper.

As far as progress goes. I have days where I spend the whole day effortlessly peeing and I have other days where it is a uphill struggle. However the overall trend is towards incontinence. I remember reading one of the other threads on here documenting their journey towards incontinence (I don't remember who posted it). It was a graph that demonstrated this perfectly.  

As I said, I struggle often-just about every other day. I have found that on days where I am needing to talk to people all day, I end up not being able to pee. This means that I am at a 12/10 out of having to go pee, sometimes for long periods of time. I have found when I get to this point, it is a serious struggle to get any pee out which leaves me in a lot of discomfort. I will sometimes step outside and "soak up the sun". Really, it is me just getting the pee out. But then my urge comes back even stronger when my bladder fills again an hour later. I definitely have some strong mental blocks to overcome.  

On the good days I pee all day. Sometimes I have to talk to someone for a few minutes and I end up clenching, than I laugh and some pee comes out. I love it.  I have also had ample opportunities to practice coughing laughing and sneezing, all while peeing. I have had good success with laughing and coughing, no luck with sneezing unless you count the last bit in my urethrae that is squeezed out before I involuntarily clench.

The biggest challenge that I am having is the inability to pee during social situations. I struggle with this at work several times a week as noted above but I also really struggle outside of work. I have been spending a lot of time at the family hunting cabin. I find it nearly impossible to pee while sitting around with family and friends playing cards for hours. Also, I have had dinner with my family a few times, which during it, was also impossible to pee. I am nervous for a few weeks from now. I have a week of face to face meetings all day. It makes me consider trying out a catheter stent. I believe this would help me with the short term discomfort but it my also help me overcome my mental blocks. Wether I follow through with the catheter may be a different story...

Switching subjects, messing. I have used a toilet maybe 3 times since starting. I have messed just about every day, sometimes multiple times a day. My schedule is 1-2 times every morning (I work afternoons).I have gotten good at going in most situations, minus work and around family. This is including grocery stores, restaurants, basically wherever my morning errands take me. For smell I take Nullo daily and the biggest key, change quickly. I don't hang around in it. I go and within a couple minutes I am heading for the bathroom. I have also gotten good at cleanup. I have a fully stocked diaper bag complete with a just in case change of clothes. This helps me with feeling comfortable going anywhere, anytime.  When I started this, I was camping on a remote island without a bathroom. This helped me get used to using my diapers fully. I have basically went from straining with all my mite for a few pebbles to now a gentle push and it is all out. I think going in front of friends will come next, followed by work and lastly family. I am nervous about work the most. We have a bathroom with 2 stalls for about 15 men. The result is, there is just about always someone in the stall next to me. People are going to hear me changing. People are going to smell me. People are even potentially going to see me through the crack in the stall. I have gotten used to all of this in a public bathroom but I have worked with these people for years and I am climbing the ladder at work and I worry it could slow me. I also worry since we are a big company with lots of red tape and rules, someone might complain and my job would request something from my doctor or even just have a conversation with me about it and I would have nothing to say and anything that I could say, would just dig me a hole. 

I have read all of Kali-is-an-abdl's blog on Tumblr. If anyone on here hasn't read her Tumblr, I highly recommend it. It has been immensely helpful. I have taken careful note towards the concept of Lock in. I can't believe it hasn't been covered anywhere else. Essentially It is creating a life for yourself that is easier to live in diapers than not in diapers. There a 2 types of lock in mechanical and social.

Mechanical lock ins examples in my life: Throwing out all my underwear, throwing out all my old jeans and buying bigger ones that only fit comfortably over a diaper, buying size bigger shirts to cover diaper area better, setting up an FSA that I contribute to each week (this is locked in for the next year), diapers on autoship

Social lock in example: Changing at friends/family houses, they can possibly hear tapes and they will see my diaper bag, also as I start messing I will be asking them where their garbage can is outside. Also some examples are just small but they're there, things like, wearing baggier jeans and always carrying a bag, the way my butt and crotch look and even how I used to go to the bathroom every hour and now I don't. Another major one is, there is also the fact that no matter how discreet I try to be about messing, someone is going to notice and when they do, there will be the expectation that I wear protection around them.

The biggest recent social lock in-I started wearing to my families hunting cabin, I put a plastic sheet and absorbent pad on my bed under my sheet and it will stay there, wether I am there or not. Someone is going to sit on my bed at some point and notice-going forward it will basically be expected that I am a bedwetter. Also I have changed a diaper in the small bathroom right next to the living area over and over again. I know they could hear it. There is no noisy bathroom fan and it is only a few feet from the kitchen table. I am not sure if they put it together but eventually they will and it will be expected that I am in diapers going forward every time I go hunting. 

That's all I've got for now.

 

  

[ozziebee]

The theory I came up with for un-potty training is that one's continence level waxes and wanes, and could be described by a sine wave.  If there are two horizontal lines describing a full level of control, and no control (what we would consider the goal of un-potty training), the sine wave will ebb slowly along the horizontal time axis dipping down towards no control as your effort at un-training progresses, and then back up towards control as events cause movement back towards control (i.e. going to the toilet to do #1 when your nappy is off, reinforcing your control, or clenching at the sign of a pee urge because now-is-not-the-time-as-diaper-will-leak, etc), and back down again as you continue to reinforce un-potty training.  Not following Brian's advice above will cause the sine wave to trend upwards.

Initially, the peaks of the graph will stubbornly sit at/above the in-control line, but after a time, as training progresses, the peaks won't quite reach that line.  Same with the troughs, which will initially be a long way away from the no-control line, but gradually move towards it. 

The period of the sine wave will get shorter and shorter as you progress.  Observation of people on here suggests that vacillation back towards control seems very brief when people are far along the path.  

I need to reinforce internally what Brian said above:

On 10/2/2022 at 5:03 AM, ~Brian~ said:

what you need to do is start wearing ALL the time, and when I SAY ALL THE TIME, this is EXACTLY what I mean, NO toilets, and you USE your diapers like a baby would.  If you are wearing all the time, you will start feeling the need to release, and you will eventually just release in your diapers, as you get used to it, but you NEED to wear all the time, and remember, that EVERYTHING goes into your diapers, NO EXCEPTIONS!

I was 3.5yrs down the track of unpotty training, but one day during the initial COVID lockdowns, I mused that changing was becoming a chore, and because I'd recently discovered my undies in a backpack I'd stashed away all those years ago, I changed back into them, and began moving from wearing undies, to wearing diapers, and back again as my mood changed.  You are absolutely correct when you talk about mechanical lockin - I should have thrown out those undies, but I didn't back then. 

A large part of the chore mentality included my desire to lose control of #2, but my body saying no.  I'd dabble with the idea, and find cleanup quite messy, and then my body would react by clenching up hard when I really needed to go (even though I was in a nappy), and that became quite painful.  The poop urges would leave me standing there on the spot shaking from the pain.  I'd inevitably get very hard and large stool I'd have to strain to get out into the toilet at the next diaper change.  So, I'd go wear undies for a while, and suffer through the inevitable leaks and wet undies, which would cause rashes and itchiness down there, so my mind would go "if I'm in a diaper, no rashes, no ichiness, no wet knickers", so I'd be back in diapers again.  

Remember that sine wave?  I found that even after 3.5 years of 24/7 nappies, I still had control of #1 outside of nappies, although I would have leakage, and a fair amount of stress IC (laughing, sneezing especially).  I also found on almost every #1 cleanup, I'd find skidmarks in my undies, and poop back there.  So I introduced pullups into the mix.  

Not long after starting with pullups, I think I came to a realisation that I really NEEDED to be in diapers for both my mental sanity, and my physical sanitation.  So I had a "chat" to my mum (who been gone now for 10 years) about accepting the NEED to lose control of #2.  I've been wearing diapers again for a few months now, and been actively working towards loss of control of #2 as well.  I'm now ok with that aspect, and cleanup has been largely not an issue.  I haven't worked out whether I should be pushing when an urge hits, or just do "nothing" and let it do its thing.  I'm ok with the idea that, at some point, I will wake up messy, and I will rejoice.  

what I've noticed is that, letting go of control of #2 greatly helps with the progress of #1.  During the day, I wet fairly frequently, but do it as small to medium-sized floods. My only advance notice of some of these (particularly the larger wettings) is a sight tingle and a feeling of tummy discomfort.  Then a few seconds later, it starts.  Other times, I get gravity wees, and other times again, I can feel my bowel content move around, and my bladder will release.

I dabble in AB stuff too, so a bottle at night will set me off to sleep.  i've noticed that, without fail, I'll wet whilst drinking my bottle.  Very very weird sensation that is!

Remember that sine wave?

[Little Belle]

Enjoy your untraining journey! I look forward to reading all about it. I'm 24/7 and have no regrets. Yeah it's a hassle at times but what's the alternative? Constant anxiety about trying to find a toilet every 30 minutes or more, wet clothes and living life without the contentment and safety of being inside a soft nappy? No thanks!

Thanks for sharing the idea of mechanical and social lock-ins. Although I think we've all used them to some degree, I've never thought of them as such. Very helpful for anyone starting out.

[Little Belle]

10 hours ago, Adam Foster said:

Have you got any real problems with changing your nappies in public? Just don't want to let you down with any issues regarding this matter! Have been thinking about my condition of recently and would love to hear from someone else who wears nappies 24/7. I use the term nappies instead of Diapers given that I'm from the UK.

Anyone else have issues regarding changing rooms and how they aren't any good for those whom like to do so without them being seen!

I live in the UK but haven't really had a problem with this so far. I think women's toilets are a lot more geared up for privacy due to the need for all women to use sanitary protection each month.

It's also (as always) a state of mind. I don't care if someone overhears me tearing at tabs, rustling with nappy sacks etc. I just think they either won't know what I'm up to or think it's a messy period I'm dealing with or know I'm wearing nappies! And none of those bother me now.

Again, I appreciate a female lens is a bit different on this as women are, by amd large, supportive of each other with health issues such as incontinence - mainly because so any women are incontinent due to childbirth and menopause. Is an underlying anxiety for men that other men who find out might take the p*ss (pardon the pun) or that you will be perceived as somehow less of a bloke if you need to wear a nappy? 

[Diapersarecool1]

Mini update- I changed 2 diapers at work over the past couple of weeks (forgot to mention it in my post last Sunday). The first one was because the tape had ripped. I kind of had expected it. The Megamax always seems to loosen up over the first hour of wearing, which means refastening the tapes. I refasten them every single day. On this day when I had pulled off the tape to refasten, it ripped the plastic on the diaper shell. I was able to tape it back up anyway but it was a long shot to whether it would last or not. A few hours later I bent over and it broke loose. The other diaper change was because I had a meeting in the morning, which meant 10 hours at work, plus the drive to and from work. The megamax advertises 12 hours but if I drink a normal amount of water, I am lucky to see 10 hours. It doesn't catastrophically leak everywhere, it just starts to slowly seep around my legs. Anyway, during both changes the other stall was empty, which was pure luck. I feel like changing at work was a major step towards normalizing diapers and breaking down mental barriers. 

On the subject of mental barriers, I've had to train someone for the past several days at my job and no matter how hard I try to pee in front of them, I am unable too. Big barriers that I need to break down here. During these uncomfortable pee holding periods, my bladder muscles are going crazy. I feel twitches in my bladder area. I feel spams between my penis and butt. Another thing I have started to have, which I had during my last period of 24/7,  is during a sneeze, I get sharp pain between my butt and penis. It doesn't worry me in the slightest. I am definitely thinking it is the whole area being relaxed often and the sneeze makes it tense up and it causes pain.

I have tried to pee while walking at work. As long as there is no one around, I can usually do it while walking the short distances in my work area. However, if I need to walk to another area or to another building, I have little luck of being able to. What I can do though is basically drop my whole pelvic area, when walking these longer distances. It seems to be that the only place that I can do this, is at work. I think it is because I generally stay pretty relaxed down there and pee while walking everywhere else.  At work there is still a mental barrier. I have been thinking of the whole area as an elevator. I drop it and it drops right to the lowest floor. When I drop the pelvic floor, it feels like I am letting go of a lot of tension. Than, no matter ho much pee I have in me, it suddenly feels like my bladder is full. It feels like the pee is right at the end of my bladder and if I was to step to hard or cough, it would all come out. I don't really understand anatomy of what is happening down and I try no to research to much on it because I am looking to make all the muscles hopelessly weak. I want zero knowledge in the back of my head on how to strengthen the area. 

Hypnosis-I don't really know if it works 100% for me. But with the right hypnotist, I can definitely go under. I go so deeply into trance, I am unable to move a single muscle in my body. Also my eyes will twitch constantly for the first few minutes of trance. With that being said, I don't get a chance to do it often. My wife is ok with me doing hypnosis but subconsciously if I know she is here, I a lot of trouble going under. She is gone for the next week, visiting family. I am going to do a lot of hypnosis stuff. I am doing it to mentally normalize wearing diapers. I am looking forward to it.

That's all I've got for now.

 

[Hannah YMS]

2 hours ago, Diapersarecool1 said:

Another thing I have started to have, which I had during my last period of 24/7,  is during a sneeze, I get sharp pain between my butt and penis. It doesn't worry me in the slightest. I am definitely thinking it is the whole area being relaxed often and the sneeze makes it tense up and it causes pain.

I have definitely experienced this on more than one occasion. Not sure why that happens either.

[Diapersarecool1]

Update, just over 2 months-I visited the ER 2 nights ago, which is what prompted the update. The ER visit was because I had been hunting all day and running a space heater in a deer blind. 1/2 way through the day I started feeling really sick. I thought that I may of had Carbon Monoxide Poisoning or a cold. It turned out to be just be a cold.

Anyway, my visit at the ER....diapered of course and unsure how to handle diapers in a medical setting. For some background here, am a healthy 25 year old man and don't need medical care often. I get taken back and they ask me many questions about my day and why I was visiting. Than they take my vitals. Everything looks good but my heart rate is high. Next they do the carbon monoxide test and they insert an IV with water. After awhile all the tests are back and everything looks good expect my heart rate is still at 140 bpm. They explain to me that this could be a sign of heart problems and they start doing countless tests on me. After awhile it hits me and I realize, that it is the diaper and the fear of someone seeing it that is causing it, and my lack of a spare diaper for changing is kind of bothering me. By this point I had been there for 2 hours and the IV had pretty well filled my diaper. I ask to go to the bathroom. They spend 10 minutes unhooking me and I go. While in the bathroom,  I remove my diaper. Than I walk back to the bed, without a diaper on. As soon as I sit back down on the bed I have to go again. I get up and go back to the bathroom. I sit on the toilet and try to pee. Nothing comes out. This starts the internal panic. The I.V had irritated my bladder and it was going to be a problem. I go back to the bed sit down and now my bladder is twitching and I don't have a change. It takes the nurse 10 minutes to come back, by this point my bladder is very irritated. I tell her that that I came in wearing a diaper and need one. She asks me why and I explain to her that diapers have always brought me comfort and I have worn them for a lot of years and it has effected my bladder. I also explain this whole situation is why my heart rate is elevated. She brings me one. At this point my bladder is in this state where it has more fluids than it can really handle and it needs to go constantly. It is during times like this, it feels more comfortable to just relax it and let it do it's thing. The problem is that I am not really comfortable relaxing in a hospital, especially with people coming in and out of the room.  It keeps raising my heart rate every time I try to relax. 

Of course, everyone is still concerned about my heart rate. I am given some drugs to help relax my nerves and lower my heart rate. A little later the doctor comes in and the first thing they ask, what medications are you on for the bladder issue? I hadn't planned this out. You see I haven't really truly felt a need for diapers at this point and the drug induced, knee jerk reaction was me saying my wife has a longgg list of health conditions and recent surgeries and it wasn't high on the priority list. She said ok but her body language was not accepting. She kept looking at my crotch (pants) and the stack of 4 diapers that the nurse left on the table.

After a few more heart tests some time passes and the hospital manger comes in and says that despite my high heart rate, everything is healthy and to keep monitoring my heart rate at home and to cut back on the caffeine. Next, the nurse comes in to release me. She hands me the discharge paperwork which includes a diagnosis of anxiety and medication for it. I have spent the last couple days laughing about the diagnosis. I am not an anxious person. It was just the right circumstances at the right time to cause me to be nervous. Also, I didn't see any notes about the diaper or overactive bladder on the paperwork, which is not unexpected but is kind of a disappointment. Reflecting on the experience, it would of been nice to start some sort of paper trail.

The experience was validating. I didn't realize that my body has changed during the past 2 months. For some background, I did go 24/7 for 6 months in 2018 and it has eroded my bladder capacity, to where to much water irritates my bladder but not quite this bad. I have never truly felt a need for a diaper until this point. 

As I am sick, over the past 2 day I have had 2 farts while peeing, that weren't farts. This has never happened to me before. This makes me happy.

Hmmm. What else? I have been working in meetings for 2 weeks straight. I can't pee in front of a room full of people like this yet. During these 2 weeks essentially dehydrated myself during the day. I didn't drink anything for an hour before bed, the prior day and didn't drink anything all the next day. I still had to pee about every 1.5 hours, despite literally drinking nothing. Meetings are over now, probably for at least 6 months, back to working alone.

I was random drug tested at work. This is normal routine at my work. The nurse didn't have to watch me. The diaper did crinkle but she didn't say anything. Thankfully, prior to the test, I was just getting ready to pee in a restroom. It does bring up my question-what the heck happens when I can't fill that container. My solution- As long as things keep progressing-I will tell my doctor as a heads up in March, at my physical, that I have been wearing diapers for comfort since a teenager and it has errored my bladder capacity. No, I don't want treatment. I will tell him part of my reason for wanting it documented is the drug test. I will need extra time and extra water or what ever the standard procedure is for incontinence. This is going to be a challenging conversation. 

My bladder has physically hurt over the past 2 weeks. I attributed it to the holding it at work. It must of wore it out. It stopped hurting today. Another thing- it has hurt to pee a few times in the past week. First, I thought that it may of been my penis at an odd angle but now I kind of suspect it might be a uti. I did an instant test and the results came back negative. I will try another one tomorrow.

That's all for now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ozziebee]

Drug testing in sport, one was allowed to drink as much water as required, in order to provide a urine sample for testing.  Yes, they would watch as the subject went to the toilet and physically pee into the bottle.  Dunno how this would work in a work-setting.  You could ask for water to drink, and see how the tester reacts.  They've probably seen it all before - people unable to pee for whatever reason.

 

[Diapersarecool1]

It has been awhile but it is time for an update. 

I have still been wearing nonstop for almost 5 months now. 

Starting with peeing-My bladder has shrunk considerably. If I have any amount of water, I can except to pee a few times. If I drink more than a cup, then it just gets irritated and it will be more comfortable to leave it in the open, drip and dribble mode. On a different subject, I work evenings. So I drink 2 cups of coffee and 2 cups of water over the course of the morning and early afternoon. I stay in the drip and dribble zone for the whole morning. It gets to the point that when I take a shower, I dry off in front of the woodstove for a couple minutes before putting on a new diaper. It uncomfortable to say the least and it takes a big weight off of my chest, when the new diaper goes on.

I still have trouble peeing in front of friends and family. I have been avoiding going to see anyone because what ends up happening is my bladder clenches up to no end and I end up going through a lot of discomfort. I have to work through this. During Christmas, I spent 3 days at the inlaws house. I peed several times at their house but it was very difficult.

At work, I changed jobs. I now work around people all day. At first it was super uncomfortable. I couldn't pee at all in front of them. Now, when I first get to work I am still relaxed from peeing all morning and it is easy to keep it going, until about an hour goes by. My bladder will fill up and start to clench at this point. I end up going into the bathroom to get the flow going, this happens about 3-4 times an evening. After I leave the bathroom I end up involuntarily dripping for the next 10-15 minutes. My bladder remains relaxed and it is easy to keep the pee coming out for awhile after the dripping. Other things that I have noticed- I have had a cough for the last 2 weeks.  As long as my bladder isn't in full on clench mode, I will usually pee when I cough. Next, on most days I am surprised by wetting several times a day. This isn't even just from coughing. It is from laughing or stubbing my toe or just because my bladder was a little full.

With diapering habits- I wear a Megamax to bed. I keep it on for the first hour of the morning. Next I go through a couple M4's in the morning into early afternoon. I wear a Megamax at work. I was just wearing 1 Megamax to work but what I have noticed, is that it starts to get sweaty and uncomfortable after about 7 hours into wearing it. This sends my bladder into terrible clench mode. I have been changing everyday after lunch to avoid this. Once I get closer to actual incontinence, I suspect that I will wear lower capacity diapers than the Megamax at work.

Messing-My habits have changed since going 24/7. I used to be a once a morning poop guy and rarely any more. Further, I used to be able to hold my poop completely at will and the urge would always just go away and come back the next day. Man, has it changed. My new habits are as followed. I wake up in the morning with a strong urge to go. I usually fill my diaper on the way down the stairs. Next I make coffee, halfway through my coffee I go again. I change after I finish breakfast and coffee. Then about half the time I mess again about an hour later. This means another change. Then most days right before I leave for work (early afternoon), I have to go again. Depending on the time I will use my diaper or try to use the potty if I am running late. What is funny about using the potty, is that half the time I try and nothing comes out. Lastly is at work. I am not ready for a messy diaper at work. However my body disagrees. I end up having an urge an hour after eating lunch everyday. Further, if I eat the wrong thing my body will get the urge while I am eating. When these urges come, they are like nothing I have ever felt before. They feel stronger then an enema. They start with a grumbly feeling in my stomach and progress to a need to poop NOW feeling. The urge gets so intese that I feel it all the way down to my toes. I head towards the bathroom. More than half the time, I sit on the potty and try to go and the urge goes completely away by the time I sit down. The urge will usually gently return when I get home at night, which will result in a full diaper. 

Most of my messy stuff happens in the morning. Most days I am at home or doing hobbies-which my hobbies are all alone type hobbies. However, a couple times a week I have to go out into the world in the morning. I am fairly comfortable messing in public. I have noticed, I don't quite have the volume as at home. Anyway, if I have to mess while out, I do. Then I find the nearest bathroom. I have changed messy diapers in a lot of gas stations and grocery stores. It is validating and I enjoy it. 

About messing-some concerns that I have had. Based on what I have read on google-Most people who have medical bowel incontinence, have a treatment plan so they don't mess themselves. I am choosing to mess myself everywhere. Is this going to blow up in my face? I am worried that I will face questions such as, why aren't you on an irrigation plan? or why don't you just get surgery? or why not a bag? I am also worried that even if I don't hear the questions, people will still wonder, why isn't he getting treatment?

Changing in public- I am comfortable carrying a diaper bag. I change in public often. I change at work daily. I even wore to my inlaws house for a multi day visit and I brought my diaper bag in the bathroom with me every single time. The only real mental challenges that I haven't gotten over yet as far as changing goes are-1. Changing at friends houses 2. Changing at my parents house. 3.Changing messy diapers at work. 4.Changing a diaper at work if I run into a situation where the guy in the stall next to me won't just finish his business and leave. I hope to get over every single one of these. I haven't been asked about my bag yet but if it does happen I am prepared to just say medical supplies or medical stuff and leave it at that.

Bedwetting. I am comfortable wearing diapers in bed and using them. I have had one pee dream, which I woke up wet from in the morning.

[Hannah YMS]

17 hours ago, Diapersarecool1 said:

It has been awhile but it is time for an update. 

I have still been wearing nonstop for almost 5 months now. 

Starting with peeing-My bladder has shrunk considerably. If I have any amount of water, I can except to pee a few times. If I drink more than a cup, then it just gets irritated and it will be more comfortable to leave it in the open, drip and dribble mode. On a different subject, I work evenings. So I drink 2 cups of coffee and 2 cups of water over the course of the morning and early afternoon. I stay in the drip and dribble zone for the whole morning. It gets to the point that when I take a shower, I dry off in front of the woodstove for a couple minutes before putting on a new diaper. It uncomfortable to say the least and it takes a big weight off of my chest, when the new diaper goes on.

I still have trouble peeing in front of friends and family. I have been avoiding going to see anyone because what ends up happening is my bladder clenches up to no end and I end up going through a lot of discomfort. I have to work through this. During Christmas, I spent 3 days at the inlaws house. I peed several times at their house but it was very difficult.

At work, I changed jobs. I now work around people all day. At first it was super uncomfortable. I couldn't pee at all in front of them. Now, when I first get to work I am still relaxed from peeing all morning and it is easy to keep it going, until about an hour goes by. My bladder will fill up and start to clench at this point. I end up going into the bathroom to get the flow going, this happens about 3-4 times an evening. After I leave the bathroom I end up involuntarily dripping for the next 10-15 minutes. My bladder remains relaxed and it is easy to keep the pee coming out for awhile after the dripping. Other things that I have noticed- I have had a cough for the last 2 weeks.  As long as my bladder isn't in full on clench mode, I will usually pee when I cough. Next, on most days I am surprised by wetting several times a day. This isn't even just from coughing. It is from laughing or stubbing my toe or just because my bladder was a little full.

With diapering habits- I wear a Megamax to bed. I keep it on for the first hour of the morning. Next I go through a couple M4's in the morning into early afternoon. I wear a Megamax at work. I was just wearing 1 Megamax to work but what I have noticed, is that it starts to get sweaty and uncomfortable after about 7 hours into wearing it. This sends my bladder into terrible clench mode. I have been changing everyday after lunch to avoid this. Once I get closer to actual incontinence, I suspect that I will wear lower capacity diapers than the Megamax at work.

Messing-My habits have changed since going 24/7. I used to be a once a morning poop guy and rarely any more. Further, I used to be able to hold my poop completely at will and the urge would always just go away and come back the next day. Man, has it changed. My new habits are as followed. I wake up in the morning with a strong urge to go. I usually fill my diaper on the way down the stairs. Next I make coffee, halfway through my coffee I go again. I change after I finish breakfast and coffee. Then about half the time I mess again about an hour later. This means another change. Then most days right before I leave for work (early afternoon), I have to go again. Depending on the time I will use my diaper or try to use the potty if I am running late. What is funny about using the potty, is that half the time I try and nothing comes out. Lastly is at work. I am not ready for a messy diaper at work. However my body disagrees. I end up having an urge an hour after eating lunch everyday. Further, if I eat the wrong thing my body will get the urge while I am eating. When these urges come, they are like nothing I have ever felt before. They feel stronger then an enema. They start with a grumbly feeling in my stomach and progress to a need to poop NOW feeling. The urge gets so intese that I feel it all the way down to my toes. I head towards the bathroom. More than half the time, I sit on the potty and try to go and the urge goes completely away by the time I sit down. The urge will usually gently return when I get home at night, which will result in a full diaper. 

Most of my messy stuff happens in the morning. Most days I am at home or doing hobbies-which my hobbies are all alone type hobbies. However, a couple times a week I have to go out into the world in the morning. I am fairly comfortable messing in public. I have noticed, I don't quite have the volume as at home. Anyway, if I have to mess while out, I do. Then I find the nearest bathroom. I have changed messy diapers in a lot of gas stations and grocery stores. It is validating and I enjoy it. 

About messing-some concerns that I have had. Based on what I have read on google-Most people who have medical bowel incontinence, have a treatment plan so they don't mess themselves. I am choosing to mess myself everywhere. Is this going to blow up in my face? I am worried that I will face questions such as, why aren't you on an irrigation plan? or why don't you just get surgery? or why not a bag? I am also worried that even if I don't hear the questions, people will still wonder, why isn't he getting treatment?

Changing in public- I am comfortable carrying a diaper bag. I change in public often. I change at work daily. I even wore to my inlaws house for a multi day visit and I brought my diaper bag in the bathroom with me every single time. The only real mental challenges that I haven't gotten over yet as far as changing goes are-1. Changing at friends houses 2. Changing at my parents house. 3.Changing messy diapers at work. 4.Changing a diaper at work if I run into a situation where the guy in the stall next to me won't just finish his business and leave. I hope to get over every single one of these. I haven't been asked about my bag yet but if it does happen I am prepared to just say medical supplies or medical stuff and leave it at that.

Bedwetting. I am comfortable wearing diapers in bed and using them. I have had one pee dream, which I woke up wet from in the morning.

Awesome! Thanks for the update. It sounds like things are moving along for you. Keep up the good work and I think you see even more progress.