Incontinent but Uusing diapers even when you could make it to the bathroom

[VA diaper boy]

So I’m struggling a bit to deal with the urinary frequency and urgency.  For instance, I probably urinated 20 times yesterday.  I’ve given up trying to get to the bathroom and now just use my diapers even though I could make it sometimes to the bathroom.  Do other incontinent people sometimes just use their diaper even though they probably could have made it to the bathroom?  Have you just given up and resorted to just always using your diaper instead of the bathroom?  I’m at the point where it’s just a lot easier and less stressful to use diapers than run to the bathroom constantly or worry about the fact that I wet a diaper.  Thoughts?

[DailyDi]

At night I do. I leak a little all the time, but when laying down urine pools in my bladder so I often wake up at night feeling the need to pee... and I'm not getting out of bed just to pee!

[Kawaharu]

I'm diapered permanently and I do leak from time to time in bed. Sometimes when I need to go at night, I just wake up, pee or poop and go back to bed. I'm incontinent and I do go in my diapers because I have no way of knowing how to use the potty and instead go in my diapers.

[saltedcaramel64]

50 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

I'm diapered permanently and I do leak from time to time in bed. Sometimes when I need to go at night, I just wake up, pee or poop and go back to bed. I'm incontinent and I do go in my diapers because I have no way of knowing how to use the potty and instead go in my diapers.

A little while ago I took offense to one of your posts about incontinent desires and I was rude to you as a response.  I want to take this opportunity to apologize to you.  Im sorry for my words, I was wrong and I hope you can forgive me.  Ive read some of your messages here over the last week or two and realized that I was agreeing and liking many of your posts.  I think that you and me have a lot in common and I should not have been so quick to respond to you in a negative way.  You were expressing a valid opinion and I should have respected that and kept quiet or intelligently expressed why I disagreed.

I hope this message finds you well.

(I tried direct messaging you but I could not send the message for some reason.  Sorry to hijack the thread.)

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, Kawaharu said:

I'm diapered permanently and I do leak from time to time in bed. Sometimes when I need to go at night, I just wake up, pee or poop and go back to bed. I'm incontinent and I do go in my diapers because I have no way of knowing how to use the potty and instead go in my diapers.

@Kawaharu

So am I:  and I can tell you that I leak sometimes too.  Sometimes, what happens is my tummy starts growling, and sometimes, it happens so fast, that I have NO CHOICE  - It just happens, and come out like a projectile from a .50 cal Deck gun - When this started happening the first few times, like in June or July of 2019, and happened several times during that year, I decided to ask the doctor for help, and he did that.

Took me a while to be able to deal with doing a BM in my diaper:  However, when your stomach does what it does, sometimes you don't even have time to THINK about it, and its easier to just GO and release everything:  That is why my chair has a washable IC pad on it:  I'm just not gonna deal with whether or NOT I make it to the bathroom, because whatever happens, I HAVE it ON, and I can just roll into the shower bay and drop what i soil and take a shower   It is inconvenient sometimes, but I don't have to hurt myself and worry anymore:  I am also NOT ashamed:  Its part of life, and I have other worries I have to deal with

**HUGS to You***

Brian

[Kawaharu]

1 hour ago, ~Brian~ said:

@Kawaharu

So am I:  and I can tell you that I leak sometimes too.  Sometimes, what happens is my tummy starts growling, and sometimes, it happens so fast, that I have NO CHOICE  - It just happens, and come out like a projectile from a .50 cal Deck gun - When this started happening the first few times, like in June or July of 2019, and happened several times during that year, I decided to ask the doctor for help, and he did that.

Took me a while to be able to deal with doing a BM in my diaper:  However, when your stomach does what it does, sometimes you don't even have time to THINK about it, and its easier to just GO and release everything:  That is why my chair has a washable IC pad on it:  I'm just not gonna deal with whether or NOT I make it to the bathroom, because whatever happens, I HAVE it ON, and I can just roll into the shower bay and drop what i soil and take a shower   It is inconvenient sometimes, but I don't have to hurt myself and worry anymore:  I am also NOT ashamed:  Its part of life, and I have other worries I have to deal with

**HUGS to You***

Brian

Same here with me but I am always glad that when I leak, I am diapered. If I was wearing adult underwear and I leak, it would horrible for me. If I poop and leak, I just crawl my baby but to the shower, clean up and put a fresh, thick diaper on

[Rob110]

I gave up trying to make it to the bathroom to pee years ago and have no regrets loosing my remaining control as I rarely made it intime any ways so why  stress about it.  I wear Betterdry or Crinklz diapers and they have proven to be a diaper I can trust.

[Kawaharu]

7 hours ago, Rob110 said:

I gave up trying to make it to the bathroom to pee years ago and have no regrets loosing my remaining control as I rarely made it intime any ways so why  stress about it.  I wear Betterdry or Crinklz diapers and they have proven to be a diaper I can trust.

I'm like that too. Due to my medical incontinence, I completely gave up trying to make to the bathroom and I have ZERO regrets in loosing my ability to use the potty. I don't even regret that I don't have the ability to potty train. I don't have to worry about using the adult potty anymore because I am permanently placed back in diapers and I know I'll never get out of them anytime soon. I hardly ever make to the potty in time and as a result, I don't even stress over it anymore. I'm much more protected and much more safer in a diaper and being forced to use the potty. I trust diapers more than I trust the adult potties. It's why I am so much calmer, relaxed and happier being kept in diapers and not stressing out about using the potty. Besides, I think potty training me was worthless and I am much more happier being kept in diapers.

[Little Cub Pants]

Yes, I LOVE using my diaper to go pee-pees in, EVEN when I COULD'VE made it to the restroom like an big boy!????♥️?? There's nothing like wearing a nice big, thick diapie, and just FLOATING your pants like an BABY!!!!!!☺️?? It makes me feel like such a toddler, still having accidents in his pants, belonging BACK in Diapers!?????????????♥️??

[Kawaharu]

On 5/7/2022 at 3:37 PM, Jesse The BabySpiderBoy said:

Yes, I LOVE using my diaper to go pee-pees in, EVEN when I COULD'VE made it to the restroom like an big boy!????♥️?? There's nothing like wearing a nice big, thick diapie, and just FLOATING your pants like an BABY!!!!!!☺️?? It makes me feel like such a toddler, still having accidents in his pants, belonging BACK in Diapers!?????????????♥️??

And that's why I know I belong back in diapers and never in adult underwear. I know that I should have never potty trained because I know I am much safer in an adult diaper than adult underwear. Even though I could make it to the potty but being kept in diapers permanently, means I don't have to use the potty and I can simply go in my diapers. It's why I feel safer, happier and comfortable in diapers and I would sabotage any attempt to potty train me.

[adhb]

Sometimes I wet in my sleep without waking up or wake up during the process of wetting. Other times I wake up dry but needing to pee. In the latter cases, I just use my diaper and go back to sleep ASAP. During the day, I use the bathroom when it's convenient to do so but use my diaper if it's not convenient. 

[VA diaper boy]

Thanks everyone for the replies.  It sounds like I’m not the only one who is not trying to stress about going to the bathroom so frequently and just instead uses the diaper.  I imagine whatever control is left will be gone soon which I’m fine with.  I’ve already lost almost all control at bedtime and wake up every morning in a wet diaper.  I wished there was a solution from the several years of incontinence, but now it is time to manage the stress instead of the incontinence.  

[Kawaharu]

19 hours ago, VA diaper boy said:

Thanks everyone for the replies.  It sounds like I’m not the only one who is not trying to stress about going to the bathroom so frequently and just instead uses the diaper.  I imagine whatever control is left will be gone soon which I’m fine with.  I’ve already lost almost all control at bedtime and wake up every morning in a wet diaper.  I wished there was a solution from the several years of incontinence, but now it is time to manage the stress instead of the incontinence.  

I'm like that too because I know I could make it to the bathroom but being in diapers all the time and so comfortable in diapers. I just rather use them instead of trying to make it to the potty. Like you, I know whatever control I have left will be gone as I get older and older and I am fine with that. I'm fine with being kept in diapers permanently and knowing that I'm never gona leave them anytime soon.

[~Brian~]

19 hours ago, VA diaper boy said:

Thanks everyone for the replies.  It sounds like I’m not the only one who is not trying to stress about going to the bathroom so frequently and just instead uses the diaper.  I imagine whatever control is left will be gone soon which I’m fine with.  I’ve already lost almost all control at bedtime and wake up every morning in a wet diaper.  I wished there was a solution from the several years of incontinence, but now it is time to manage the stress instead of the incontinence.  

@VA diaper boy

no sir: you are not the only one who struggles and stress about using the bathroom so frequently. There are many people like me myself who decided in 2020 that the stress level would go down to almost 0 if I had all of the necessary tools to be able to deal with being totally incontinent both ways. I even went so far as to have the doctor write that into my medical records: because I don’t want there to be any doubt anymore: it is one thing if you have stress and you can deal with it, and I deal with stress pretty well I think, but there’s certain things that I don’t wanna worry about anymore: I end up working very hard serving my community, helping people that need it, some of them less fortunate than myself, and my job is to make them feel good about themselves, even if they do not have the resources with which to use to get certain things. My THRIFT STORE is available to help those in need, and that is what we try to do. What little money we make, can go back to help the community at some point, and hopefully we will be able to also deal with our expenses, but that is nothing that we can’t solve.

stressing over control is a fruitless effort: I say that because eventually, you may end up having a situation where you don’t have any control at all, and if that happens, it is not your fault. Far too often, all they do is pump you full of medicine, to try to help your incontinence, and some of that stuff can react with your body in a negative way. I’ve had accidents on and off since 2019, and even before that.  I joined DD in August 2019, but I was having trouble before that, having accidents and trouble with IBS diverticulitis and incontinence: when I found that I was having this issue, I asked the doctor for diapers, and I had already planned for the eventuality that this may happen sometime in 2018 when I came to see him, because some of what was happening was I was sweating so bad that it was causing My seat cushion to be “ripe”  and I needed to deal with that, so while I was dealing with that I asked the doctor about getting diapers at some point, and he told me “just tell me when you need them and I’ll help you get them“. So far, my doctor has been the savior, in my case management team has been top-notch: anything I need I have Connor and I don’t have any worries or shame or anything like that, because I know that I need what I have, and I will use them and it makes it a lot more comforting for me – I would rather pee my pants for the rest of my life Mess  my pants for the rest of my life, Rather than to worry about something that I cannot Control – life is just too short for this stuff: not only that, but my incontinence diagnosis also help me to deal with the feelings that I was dealing with also, and because I was wearing diapers now 24 seven it helps me to deal with both issues.
 

You well find, that if you switch your focus from Trying to find a solution to stop your incontinence, to accepting your incontinence, I think you will find that you will be better for it. It is not a bad thing to wear diapers and use them as intended. I mean, we have several members here on DD alone that use diapers for whatever reason, whether they be medical or whether they be for other reasons. Regardless of where we start on the road of our journey, we always end up here on DD: it doesn’t matter how we started, it doesn’t matter how we got there, because there are several turns and twists in the road: one of the things I learned real fast is that I was thinking to myself “what the heck am I worried about, need to take care of myself, and the only way I’m gonna take care of myself is to let myself go when it comes to this“. If you were able to accept your incontinence and the fact that you will be changing diapers for The for seeable future, I believe you will find that I did be easier, your stress would be lowered considerably, and you wouldn’t have to worry about what happens. My problem was that I was so nervous about everything in life, and I was worried about what people would think say believe or think of me because of the way I choose to deal with it. After talking to several of my close family member so I trust, they told me not to worry about it and it wasn’t a big deal, and being incontinent isn’t a big deal if you have the right equipment to deal with it. In fact, once you except your incontinence, you can go the second I believe you will find that I did be easier, your stress would be lowered considerably, and you wouldn’t have to worry about what happens. My problem was that I was so nervous about everything in life, and I was worried about what people would think say believe or think of me because of the way I choose to deal with it. After talking to several of my close family member so I trust, they told me not to worry about it and it wasn’t a big deal, and being incontinent isn’t a big deal if you have the right equipment to deal with it. In fact, once you except your incontinence, you can go the second route, where @KawaharuAdopted the lifestyle of an adult baby to deal with her incontinence and her disability.  I adopted the diaper lover lifestyle, because I’m already incontinent and disabled, and I’ve had feelings that tell me that I like diapers, so that was the best thing that I can deal with, because it helps me in ways that I cannot express sometimes. All I can tell you is, ever since I made the choice to go 24 seven, my life has been a lot easier for me to handle, regardless of whether somebody else thinks it’s easy – at least I am able to deal with what I feel is important.

30 minutes ago, Kawaharu said:

I'm like that too because I know I could make it to the bathroom but being in diapers all the time and so comfortable in diapers. I just rather use them instead of trying to make it to the potty. Like you, I know whatever control I have left will be gone as I get older and older and I am fine with that. I'm fine with being kept in diapers permanently and knowing that I'm never gona leave them anytime soon.

@Kawaharu It’s right on this one: there’s no reason to be uncomfortable, worrying about whether you’re going to make it to the bathroom, or whether you’re going to be able to use the potty: it’s bad enough that you have stress in your life that makes it hard for you. I’ve learned from experience that most of my life, I worry about everything that can possibly go wrong in the situation, and this can cause me stress that I don’t need. If I were to rate incontinence on a stress level of one to 10 as far as me worrying about it, that would be a one: I can deal with incontinence, I have the equipment to deal with incontinence, I have the diagnosis of incontinence, and I have the necessary prescriptions to take care of that. I also have the other pieces that I need, because I have all of the necessary materials needed to manage it as far as trash removal in the whole 9 yards. Because I have a roll in shower, it’s very easy to deal with, and no one has to see that if they walk into my bathroom, because it’s right behind the shower curtains.

I have a feeling that as she stated, I will lose control as age: however, because of the Number of times in summer of 19 where I ended up having an accident, I finally decided to go all the Way, and open the floodgates as far as getting the necessary equipment to deal with it. I got sick of having accidents, I got sick of worrying about whether I was gonna make it to the bathroom, and I got sick of feeling like there was something that I should’ve been doing, because I felt guilty and ashamed for a while:  @KawaharuHelped me to understand That there is no reason to be afraid, ashamed, nervous, or guilty about the fact that you wear or use diapers, or that you like them. If you are incontinent, you have to wear diapers, because if you don’t you will end up making a mess all over the place, and you won’t have the ability to determine when or where you release.  

Brian

[Kawaharu]

56 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

I have a feeling that as she stated, I will lose control as age: however, because of the Number of times in summer of 19 where I ended up having an accident, I finally decided to go all the Way, and open the floodgates as far as getting the necessary equipment to deal with it. I got sick of having accidents, I got sick of worrying about whether I was gonna make it to the bathroom, and I got sick of feeling like there was something that I should’ve been doing, because I felt guilty and ashamed for a while:  @KawaharuHelped me to understand That there is no reason to be afraid, ashamed, nervous, or guilty about the fact that you wear or use diapers, or that you like them. If you are incontinent, you have to wear diapers, because if you don’t you will end up making a mess all over the place, and you won’t have the ability to determine when or where you release.  

And that's why at my age, disability and incontinence, I'm not ashamed, nervous or guilty of being kept in diapers, liking them and preferring them over using the potty. It's why with my doctors, they know I am incontinent and they also know that I see myself as an adult baby to deal with being incontinent and being disabled. It's also on my medical records that I wear diapers and they make sure I am diapered all the time.

Since being an adult baby, it helps me so much in dealing with incontinence, being disabled and the adult world. It let's me be an adult in my own way and let's me have an adulthood in my own way, which is adult babyhood. Being an adult baby and Incontinent, I know I am kept in diapers permanently and know that I am not a normal adult because I didn't pass potty training. Since I didn't pass potty training, I am kept in diapers and treated like an adult baby, which is fine by me because it helps me deal with being diapered permanently. It's also why my family understand that I am incontinent and an adult baby. They know that I'm an adult baby and they treat me like an adult baby. For example, they always check and make sure I am diapered and using my diapers as intended. They always make sure I can't hide my diapers. They even make sure I don't use the potty and use my diapers as intended.

[John Davis]

There are two very different approaches to diapering - 1) more frequent but faster changes versus 2) longer time between changes and longer time required to change.

On the first approach, one wears just a diaper or a diaper with plastic pants.  That makes it much easier to try to pee in the toilet.  For the second approach (me), I wear a premium diaper with a booster pad, a thin cloth pullup to absorb leaks, two pairs of plastic pants, and a onesie.

With the second approach, I am extremely well protected against a leak but I essentially am functionally incontinent as I would have to remove all those layers to pee.  By the time I sense the need to pee, I do not have enough time to make it to the toilet and remove all my protective layers.  So, I plan to just use the diaper and make no attempt to rush to the toilet.

As I also am bowel incontinent and a side-sleeper at night (and during my naps), there is a bit of “overkill” built into my diapering strategy.

What do you guys/gals think?

—John

(double incontinent)

[gregs]

I went the same path. I could hold it, but still I had such a strong urge, that I had to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. So on one point I decited to wear and use diapers. I can confirm that my stress level is reduced very much.

[Kawaharu]

10 hours ago, gregs said:

I went the same path. I could hold it, but still I had such a strong urge, that I had to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. So on one point I decited to wear and use diapers. I can confirm that my stress level is reduced very much.

I’m the same path too. I couldn’t hold and I had to go so much that I’m kept in diapers. Since then, I never hard to worry about holding and can go freely in them

[ThomasInWVa]

Urge incontinence is sometimes worse than just not having control. I had this for many years and didn't realize how much stress built up from not admitting I genuinely needed diapers. Even the times when I had control there was always the knowledge that it WILL end with no warning. 

It took about 10 years to admit that I not only physically needed diapers to have a normal life, but that the stress was destroying my health and life. Coming to terms with the realization that I needed to wear diapers constantly and "just not worry" about wetting, was a major relief.

Sure, I wish I didn't need them.  Diapers suck - big time. But they allow me to live a normal, active life without worry about heavy leaks or being "that guy" who can't sit in on a hour long meeting without multiple breaks. That DOES impact your career.

If you get up at night more than 1 time for a bathroom visit, wear diapers and once you have your first full night of restful sleep, you'll see the value of wearing diapers. 

[gregs]

23 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

I’m the same path too. I couldn’t hold and I had to go so much that I’m kept in diapers. Since then, I never hard to worry about holding and can go freely in them

Do you think your control has gotten weaker after you decited to wear diapers?

[Kawaharu]

1 hour ago, gregs said:

Do you think your control has gotten weaker after you decited to wear diapers?

I haven't noticed it when I got put back into diapers. Since then I just go in my diapers and keep on moving along in life.

14 hours ago, ThomasInWVa said:

Urge incontinence is sometimes worse than just not having control. I had this for many years and didn't realize how much stress built up from not admitting I genuinely needed diapers. Even the times when I had control there was always the knowledge that it WILL end with no warning. 

It took about 10 years to admit that I not only physically needed diapers to have a normal life, but that the stress was destroying my health and life. Coming to terms with the realization that I needed to wear diapers constantly and "just not worry" about wetting, was a major relief.

Sure, I wish I didn't need them.  Diapers suck - big time. But they allow me to live a normal, active life without worry about heavy leaks or being "that guy" who can't sit in on a hour long meeting without multiple breaks. That DOES impact your career.

If you get up at night more than 1 time for a bathroom visit, wear diapers and once you have your first full night of restful sleep, you'll see the value of wearing diapers. 

I am like that as well. I have urge incontinence and that can get worse over time. Even though I still have some control left but as I get older and older, I know that's all gona be gone when I hit old age.

It took me about 5 years to realize that I'm gona be put back into diapers and realize that I have a physical and medical need for them as well.

[rusty pins]

I guess I'm the opposite.  I'm not incontinent but I am overweight and have type 2 diabetes.  I notice as the years go on I get up more at night to pee and some mornings pee every 30 to 45 minutes.  During the day I pee about once every hour to hour and a half.  I could just throw in the towel and wear diapers 24/7 but I cherish my control.  Someday I may end up in diapers but while I can, I'll run to the toilet whenever the urges gets too strong.  I like sometimes wearing diapers, I'd hate having no choice but to wear diapers.  

[Garbo]

I don't post very often, but saw this topic and wanted to chime in. I don't think what you are doing is uncommon at all and completely rational. Different circumstances call for different approaches. 

I've dealt w OAB and dribbling issues for the longest time. I used to simply wear a depends pull-up since one normally could last through the day. But about a year ago things got worse and I found myself going in them more often than before (i.e., a full void vs a leak). I began to hate disrobing at work to change...so I switched to a tape on diaper. 

I struggled w the decision because I thought it was overkill and they are a little more obvious under dress clothes. However, the tape diapers have made changes easier. 

Which brings me to the reason for my response. I know I've been going in them more often than I did the pull-ups but I don't think there's anything wrong w it. I suppose it's embarrassing to admit, but the responses reassure me that using a diaper for convenience is completely common and entirely rational. 

 

[Kawaharu]

22 hours ago, Garbo said:

I don't post very often, but saw this topic and wanted to chime in. I don't think what you are doing is uncommon at all and completely rational. Different circumstances call for different approaches. 

I've dealt w OAB and dribbling issues for the longest time. I used to simply wear a depends pull-up since one normally could last through the day. But about a year ago things got worse and I found myself going in them more often than before (i.e., a full void vs a leak). I began to hate disrobing at work to change...so I switched to a tape on diaper. 

I struggled w the decision because I thought it was overkill and they are a little more obvious under dress clothes. However, the tape diapers have made changes easier. 

Which brings me to the reason for my response. I know I've been going in them more often than I did the pull-ups but I don't think there's anything wrong w it. I suppose it's embarrassing to admit, but the responses reassure me that using a diaper for convenience is completely common and entirely rational. 

 

That's why I am in diapers because my incontinence is getting worse as I age and wearing pull ups isn't an option for me anymore. It's why I can't wear pull ups anymore and I am in tape diapers for the foreseeable future.

[ppdude]

WOW -- this is great. I can really relate to all you who leak ittle to lots in their diaper! Yesterday I felt a pee coming on and before I could react it dumped full tilt. I also have to pee constantly and don't want to spend my life sitting on a toilet trying to get it all out. The Dry 24/7 works well though usage us up -- one during the day and one at night. The diaper takes away lots of stress and imparts a feeling of calm.