Is fetlife worth spending time on?

[Acorn]

Dailydiapers is the first and so far only site I've met other abdls on but I've gotten recommendations to try out fetlife since it's a bigger site. So what is fetlife. Is it like DD where is just a gathering of abdls, or is it like tinder? The less accounts I got to manage the better so I'd like to know what I'm getting myself into before I make one there. Any advice would be appreciated 

[AwakenEvil]

Fetlife is a cesspool. As long as you are aware of that fact. You will find their only serious redeeming fact is the ability to network and socialize by finding events and munches. Beyond that its just a meat market and trolling.

[Little Sherri]

I have to confess that I could not make heads or tails of Fetlife for the most part. There are a heck of a lot of interests on there; I did learn a fair bit about midget noose-play... kidding. I have a profile there but I haven't really used it; I definitely find this site much more approachable and navigable. 

@oznl might be able to provide you with more specific advice, because he has an account there and seems to have been able to make it work for him. One thing he pointed out to me in the past when I asked the same question was this: Daily Diapers is aimed pretty squarely at the ABDL community, whereas Fetlife is like a train station in a big city - people coming from everywhere, looking for everything. So the feedback you get on your interest in, say, ruffled plastic pants, might be different from a person who's into leather and bondage, than it would be from a person who likes, say, printed diapers. My experience on DD is that I am largely among friends, or at least people who kinda understand where I'm coming from. You'll find those people on Fetlife, too, but also a lot more people. 

@~ashley~ is another veteran of this site who has navigated Fetlife. There are a fair number of people here who frequent both, so there must be something to it, I just haven't had the time or inclination to get my bearings there. 

[oznl]

5 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

 

@oznl might be able to provide you with more specific advice, because he has an account there and seems to have been able to make it work for him. One thing he pointed out to me in the past when I asked the same question was this: Daily Diapers is aimed pretty squarely at the ABDL community, whereas Fetlife is like a train station in a big city - people coming from everywhere, looking for everything. So the feedback you get on your interest in, say, ruffled plastic pants, might be different from a person who's into leather and bondage, than it would be from a person who likes, say, printed diapers. My experience on DD is that I am largely among friends, or at least people who kinda understand where I'm coming from. You'll find those people on Fetlife, too, but also a lot more people.

I don't know that I have a whole lot more to add to that.

DD is a village and FL is a city, perhaps even a metropolis.

Swimming in the deeper waters of general “kink” on FL, there is less cultural alignment, more of a focus on sex and it’s easy enough to encounter judgemental behaviour from those with different tastes.  As a more anonymous and somewhat less friendly place, it can seem a little “New York City” sometimes.

On the other hand, you’ll find a much wider array of discussion and content with loads more people.  Again, a bit like New York City.

I’m probably more active on DD than FL but FL is secured to registered members only which is something I do keep in mind.   I find them to be more complementary than competition.  There is a fair bit of flow between the platforms.  I’ve noticed that since I linked my DD thread to my FL profile, there’s been a degree of cross pollination.

[ValentinesStuff]

17 hours ago, Acorn said:

Dailydiapers is the first and so far only site I've met other abdls on but I've gotten recommendations to try out fetlife since it's a bigger site. So what is fetlife. Is it like DD where is just a gathering of abdls, or is it like tinder? The less accounts I got to manage the better so I'd like to know what I'm getting myself into before I make one there. Any advice would be appreciated 

FetLife covers any and all fetishes and kinks. And it's a cesspool. 

[absorbance irrigator]

I've been on Fetlife for about 8 years.

In my personal experience it is not a very ABDL friendly place when it comes down to it.
And host of some of the most hateful and viscous personalities I've ever observed


On top of that, the management's attitude towards their users is downright horrible.

Its very much a corporation, and will do everything in its possibility to make sure of the best outcome for Fetlife, even if this mean putting a user in jeopardy.
99.9 percent of the users will never run into that issue, but when you do, it leaves a pretty bad taste,...


I also question the way it is funded.

Its one of those big(isch) tech companies that does not seem to have an economically viable revenue stream but stays afloat anyways.
This always makes me suspicious of its intended purpose.
If you think about it, they have lots of access to very sensitive information, some of which may be regarding people in positions of power, etc.

Fetstein anyone ?


I don't trust Fetlife for an inch anymore, and will stay away as much a i can.
Tho it is still a good way of finding events and clubs.

My take would also be get a separate email and fake name.
And don't get too involved or attached.
 

[Fallout101]

There are some very sick and twisted individuals on Fetlife and some of the messages I recieved I referred to the authorities. I have often wonderd if that is where the serial killers hang out.

[BabyJp86]

On 3/3/2022 at 1:35 PM, Acorn said:

Dailydiapers is the first and so far only site I've met other abdls on but I've gotten recommendations to try out fetlife since it's a bigger site. So what is fetlife. Is it like DD where is just a gathering of abdls, or is it like tinder? The less accounts I got to manage the better so I'd like to know what I'm getting myself into before I make one there. Any advice would be appreciated 

Fetlife has its issues, but it is an outstanding way to find abdls and to meet up. The ABDL group I have been apart of for 10 years is there and we always seem to see new faces at our bi-monthly events because people have found us on fetlife... I like to think of it as facebook for fetishists... but just like facebook you get out of it what you put into it and you are also undoubtably going to see stuff that is either not appealing or meet people that you would wish to go away. 

My advice... Invest your time in creating a real profile, bio, interests, pictures and get verified. I personally ignore any accounts that reach out to me that are a blank profile pic or look like they were set up in five minutes... You're are gonna get weird and downright thirsty people who don't seem to understand that an unsolicited Dick pic or starting a conversation with "Will you be my daddy or mommy and change my dirty diapers" isn't going to win over hearts and minds. Having a built and verified account has advantages... Capcon reviews Fetlife profiles as part of their verification process of attendees. I'm sure there are other ways to get approved but having a fetlife profile isn't a waste of time just for that. If you want to look at a filled out profile you can look me up. I'm Diaper-professor on fetlife. There are other sites like Diaper-bois as well that offers a forums and chat room.

Hope this helps. - Jp    

[beallucanb]

You should join fetlife  fake name and email , if you don't like it just walk away.

There is too much going on there for someone older like me, it might be suited better for someone with varied interests and is younger like yourself.

[~Brian~]

I like the analogy between fL  and DD.  I think of FL as the size of Florida, and as such people have many different kinks, fetishes, things they do, like, and engage in.  DD Has many different people, but it is not as big, and as such as specialty fetishes, and specialty groups, and as such we are a “diaper community “and not such we focus on that, but there are many different things that make us unique. The diaper aspect is like the foundation of the entire set up, while everything else fits on top of the foundation, and fits together to make the community as strong and as vivacious as it is and currently People come in and make posts and chat with others whenever they can. A lot of the people that I have seen ask a lot of questions, or are new to the lifestyle, and as such I try to answer as many questions as I can, even though there are some things that I do not know a lot about, and if that is the case I defer to someone that does.

As such DD is more like a “family” Because we take care of each other, and help each other with many different situations. Because of the work that DD has done, Because of the people here, I understand myself better than I did back in 2019, and I am more confident about myself and eat more easily able to just do what is “normal for me now” without that up, I would still be searching and trying to grasp at straws to determine what the heck is going on.

I would not want to go to FL And do anything more than what @AwakenEvilDoes. There are many fetishes in many kinks and many people that have many differing beliefs, and they do many different things. I would rather be in a place where there are people that I trust, and the information that I get is pretty close to being correct. The more people that I interact with here on DD, the better I feel as there are people that need someone to be honest and straightforward with them, and I feel that DD can do this.  There are other sites on the Internet, and as far as I’m concerned, the one that I will stay with is DD-  This is because we are allowed to within reason express our opinions in an appropriate way, and the truth is not hidden, or water down, and we are not afraid of the truth.  Sites that are afraid of this would be something like *****cough cough ADISC****. 
 

being allowed to discuss topics is important. Being able to get the truth from those who are posting is also important. Places that do not allow the truth to be stated or the truth to be known, are protecting someone from something that is true, and always will be true, so I don’t understand why places like that hide it. Here, unless there is something that is majorly “out of line/against the rules“ Mikey let us talk about it, And if he thinks something is out of line, he’ll let us know so that we don’t make the same mistake. Sometimes you have to be brutally honest about things in order to get a brutally honest response. Places that are afraid of a brutally honest response probably should not be delving into that particular subject matter, even though they say that ADISC protects people, which is their right, but what they are protecting someone from is the actual honest truth. Here, I don’t have to worry about that because if it goes too far a foul, we are told, And we are allowed to know why, and if there was something that we did wrong, I’m sure we would get a private message, and during that private message we would not be alienated and made fun of because we made a mistake. This is what ADISC Most people, because they’re afraid people are going to learn the truth: I don’t see how they need to protect what is honestly true. I could understand protecting it from children, but if you were adults there should be no reason to protect the truth from anyone. That is why people like Mikey are in charge and he has people that he trusts to be able to make sure that this place runs, and we follow his rules, his policies, and the policies of those who house our electronic equipment. So when Mikey tells us not to do something, I pay attention, because he wouldn’t be telling us this if there was not a reason.

FL is like Grand Central Station in New York: DD is like the Burlington international Airport in Vermont. Our airport has two gates, so we are a small operation up here. If you’re dealing with FL, I envisioned that to be similar to what you would find at Grand Central Station with everybody running around and trying to figure out where they’re going, and trying to get there. Trains going in and out at all hours of the night, or people trying to help those that need it: the difference is that DD is not that big, but many of us that are here are very loyal to Mikey and what he does, and we support what he does, because we like what he does and we like being here.

keep doing what you’re doing guys, you’re doing awesome!

Brian

[messyman]

Get an account so you can look up meet ups and local stuff. I log in every so often put haven't posted much for years because drama has limited appeal. Most of the ABDL stuff is dead or toxic waste.

[Bmoney31690]

I personally like FetLife and have used it a small amount but I've met 2 people in 3 years so its hit or miss for people 

bmoney316 is my account if you would like someone to talk to on there 

[Firefly 35]

Depending on the groups you join and people you associate with, Fetlife can be great or terrible.  Some advice for newbies:

DONT pay anyone money through payment apps like CashApp, Zelle, etc. This is a common scam and any legitimate business would have a website with a proper payment system. 

DONT let people get under your skin.  If anyone makes objectionable comments to/about you, be polite but clear in your response(s) and block/report them if the behavior continues. 

DO configure your profile with settings that make sense to you.  A few years ago, Fetlife added some privacy features where you can make it so that people you aren't friends with can't send you PMs or see what city/state you live in, etc. 

DO join the group "The Ultimate Directory of Fetlife ABDL Groups".  This group has links to over 2000 other ABDL groups on Fetlife, sorted alphabetically and by geographical area.

DO check the events listing for your area every day or two as local events are one of the best ways to make friends.  However, do be aware that Fetlife staff do not generally moderate any event listings so it's probably wise to do your research beforehand.  It is normal, however, for people hosting events at their house to ask that people interested in coming to PM the organizer for the address.

Overall, Fetlife is worthwhile if you avoid the BS that some people cause and associate with those you like.

[SuperSoaker83]

Avoid it like the plague

[ValentinesStuff]

9 hours ago, Firefly 35 said:

DONT let people get under your skin.  If anyone makes objectionable comments to/about you, be polite but clear in your response(s) and block/report them if the behavior continues. 

It's funny you say this, but for every group I had joined, the problems I had were either with the Group Owner or his buddies. Mostly with them either directly harassing me or just spreading lies about me. Hard to report the owner or his buddies.