Any ABDL who are parents or grandparents?

[Mindylou]

I'm about to become a Grandma for the first time in May, I'm very excited! I'm trying to reconcile this with my own baby needs and diaper love, and can't figure it out. How do y'all deal with it? 

[Dprczyone]

I think it's very easy myself. When you're with your grand baby you are an adult and when not you can be abdl. It will feel a bit strange at first but at least for me it was easy to go back and forth. In my mind I was a little jealous at first because they got to wear and use diapers and no one gave it a second thought. Although for me that's when my wife thought I should give up wearing diapers.

[rusty pins]

I agree.  When alone you can do the AB thing, but when with your adult children and grandkids, you put on your big girl panties and be the responsible grandparent guiding your own children in raising your grand child.  You will be needed for support and I'm sure babysitting.

[AbabeBill]

I couldn’t see it any other way, but to just be yourself, omitting any of your ad/dl compunctions. I’m assuming you raised, at leash one child, if not more? So, I guess you can fall back on prior knowledge, for day to day baby care stuff. When the kids, and grandkid are not around, it’s back to your time! Step out of grandma mode, and into your ab side. 
I think, and hope this will be a great new chapter for you in life. Having a new grand child, and getting to see them grow. Sounds like a good thing to me! Enjoy it all, as much as you can. 

[ValentinesStuff]

Matching outfits? OK, I'm kidding.

 

When you need to be the grandparent, be the grandparent. When you don't, be the grandbaby. 

 

And congratulations. 

[Mindylou]

Well yes to everyone except I can't put on my "big girl panties", I'm too diaper dependent for that now! I find myself wanting to stay in baby mode at least a little bit, daddy likes that.. so I'll really have to work to find a happy medium. 

 

[willnotwill]

2 kids, 3 grandkids (two of which are still in diapers).    Doesn't much enter into things now.   I did find a pacifier in my truck and gave it to the wife and said "this isn't one of mine" so she called the daughter to see if she had lost one from one of her kids.

 

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, Mindylou said:

Well yes to everyone except I can't put on my "big girl panties", I'm too diaper dependent for that now! I find myself wanting to stay in baby mode at least a little bit, daddy likes that.. so I'll really have to work to find a happy medium. 

 

@Mindylou

you will find that you will be able to get to a “happy medium“ once you figure out how you want to handle each situation. I agree with you that you may not be able to put your “big girl panties on“ because you are diaper dependent – that may never change, so you may have to find a way to hide that for now, and then if someone were to ask you such as your grandchild, you could always say “ Grammy needs these because (reason).  Most kids are receptive to the fact that you may or may not need diapers for whatever reason, and me being disabled that was an easy answer, because when I had a six or seven-year-old kid who is curious about that, all I said was that “some people need diapers because their plumbing downstairs doesn’t work.“ Basically I change the wording to that which could be understood by a six or seven year old kid, but I haven’t had any issues since then.  There are a lot of kids that may need diapers for longer than just baby and toddler hood, so for me it was pretty easy to deal with.

8 hours ago, ValentinesStuff said:

Matching outfits? OK, I'm kidding.

 

When you need to be the grandparent, be the grandparent. When you don't, be the grandbaby. 

 

And congratulations. 

@ValentinesStuff
I think that would be a cute idea! Don’t get me wrong: if Mindy Lou decides that she thinks something is cute, and she wants to get it for the grandbaby, there’s no rule that says that she could not decide that something is “cute and she wants it“ and then have it made especially for her in her size. Then she may be able to for example wear a footed sleeper on a cold night, and that would match her grandbaby. I don’t think it would be appropriate for her to wear at the same time she’s caring for her grandbaby, but who knows, it could happen someday. That way, when she’s in “baby mode“ she could decide to wear that outfit, and Enjoy it for herself. When it is cold outside, I usually wear flannel pajama bottom pants over my diaper, because it is cold in most cases. I am lucky, because my heat can be adjusted anywhere From 50°F to 80°F in my bedroom and bathroom, and from 50°F to 74°F in my living room. Most times it is not that bad, unless were talking about below zero temperatures. Mindy Lou could decide to wear flannel pajamas, in her favorite color, which would be appropriate, and that way she could Be wearing fun colors while taking care of the little one as well.

I wouldn’t worry too much about wearing diapers, because that is part of you and the way you are. Diaper dependency is not a problem, because there are many people that as they get older may need them, so as I said I wouldn’t worry about it. There are ways to “explain“ as I stated above without causing too much difficulty. When you decide to go into an out of baby mode that is your business, but. Bring diapers should not be an issue, because that is simply a “underwear choice,“ and of course being diaper dependent that’s what you need.

I also congratulate you on your new grandbaby. If he or she is born in May, then that would be the same month did I turn the big 5O. I can’t believe it 50 years old – I don’t think anyone realized at the beginning of my life that I would live as long as I have, but I always try to be as healthy and robust as I possibly can, and I do enjoy what I do, and I have many nieces and nephews that I love and care for very much.  Probably will have to wait until sometime this summer before I get to see my newest niece, who will probably turn one before I get to see her but, with Covid going around, you have to take as much precautions as you can, because you don’t want to make the little ones sick. My brother JAMES works in the healthcare field, so he is very aware of things like this it will take no chances when it comes to his family, which I support.

In the meantime soak up as much time as you can in baby mode, and remember that soon you will have your own grandchild to “spoil rotten” even if you may not be able to be in “baby mode” when you’re taking care of your grandchild, there’s no reason why you cannot end up getting them the cute outfits, and spoil them rotten, then turn around and ask your daddy for any of these outfits that you think are cute – that is the work around that I figure ??❤️???❤️?

Brian

[Little Sherri]

It's an interesting question. I kind of side-stepped the issue when my own kids were in their early years, because back then I wasn't consciously a DL or AB or wherever I land on that spectrum. I had been a DL as a kid, but that got consigned to the darkest back corners of my psyche after my step-father found my homemade diapers stashed under a dresser in my bedroom, and waved them around while yelling at me in front of the family when I was around 13. After that, I went on a 20-year + hiatus with diapers, never buying them, wearing them, or even thinking about them. So when my kids were little, it wasn't an issue. There is a firewall between "church and state", or there should be, when someone with ABDL inclinations is taking care of kids (or for that matter, the elderly or handicapped) who are in diapers, in any case; you have to put their needs and your responsibility to them first and foremost. 

What sent me hurtling back into this universe was seeing a picture of myself as a kid of maybe 6 or 7, in one of my mom's photo albums, on Christmas morning, clearly wearing a diaper. By then, my kids were (mostly) out of diapers, so I didn't have any ethical conflicts about it. However, my younger daughter followed in my footsteps with respect to wetting her bed like a champ, well into her "tween" years, and also had occasional issues with wetting during the day, so we have always had pull-ups in our linen closet. However, as much as I might fantasize about going back in time and reliving my childhood, and staying in diapers even longer than I did, or whatever, there is no crossover between that and what we actually do with my daughter. We would never make her feel badly about her wetting, but I am also not "encouraging" it, and anyway most of the strategy around that is being handled by my wife. Her and I have talked about it, of course, because I went through similar things as a kid (although pull-ups didn't exist back then), and my wife obviously knows I wear diapers now, but the goal is always and will always be to do whatever is best for my daughter. 

Similarly, my mom had a medical crisis a few years ago, after I had started experimenting with occasionally wearing diapers again, and she ended up in diapers for about two months while she was hospitalized. That situation was not "interesting" in the least for me, from an ABDL perspective. If anything, it made me less interested in the lifestyle for a while, because back then, most of what I would wear (when I got a chance to) were crappy medical diapers that I could buy in stores, and which looked exactly like the ones my mom had to wear. I wanted her to recover and not need them anymore, because that's what she wanted, but also because I wanted to be able to look at a diaper or put one on again, and not immediately think about my mom! (ABDL diapers helped with that, once I found them - a Bambino Teddy does not reek of aging and infirmity). 

So, when you have grandkids, @Mindylou, I am sure that you will love them so much, and be so protective of them, and value the relationship so much, that you would never do anything to jeopardize, or take advantage of it, and if they need caregiving, you will do it selflessly, and without internal conflict. You are using a completely different mental circuit when you are taking care of someone, or, you should be. 

[Dprczyone]

Sorry about my answer. I didn't know you were that close to diaper dependency. So put on your most discrete diaper and hold that grandbaby tight. I'm sure you will find a happy medium so that you can do everything any other grandma would do.

[FretaBWet]

I have 7 grandchildren. You're who you are and that doesn't change because your child has a child. All you have to do is love them and really that's all they need.

Hugs,

Freta

[ValentinesStuff]

Amazon sells matching family sleepers.

[square_duck]

It kind of becomes a problem when your grandkid complains,

" grandma smells like diapers" or

" Mom, I think grandpa just pooped in his pants" 

 "Why does grandma have wet spots on the back if her dress???" 

???

[steveg]

4 hours ago, square_duck said:

It kind of becomes a problem when your grandkid complains,

" grandma smells like diapers" or

" Mom, I think grandpa just pooped in his pants" 

 "Why does grandma have wet spots on the back if her dress???" 

???

That has never happed to me ever  ??? I have never had a Autist child ask me in the middle of Walmart if I needed my diaper bag.  Never has happened