Training yourself to be a bed wetter

[paddy1965]

I’m wondering if you train yourself to be a bedwetter is it easy to reverse the process, to regain control?

[stevewet]

First of all be 100% sure you want this. Once you become a bedwetter you may never become dry at night again. That said I am a nightly bedwetter and thoroughly enjoy being this way and wouldn't want to be dry at night. Why do you want to wet the bed?

[rusty pins]

What he said.  This forum is for incontinent desires as we should not try to talk people out of what they want, I just say make sure you really want to be a bedwetter the rest of your life as you seem to have some trepidations.  Everything I have read here on this site from other members says it's very hard if not impossible to retrain yourself after you have trained your body to wet the bed.

[foreverdl]

I would agree to be sure it's what you want, I do have many back issues, unfortunately I have one extreme to the other, I am plugged up can't pee, or it just lets loose, with my lumbar disc that tries to lock up so I can't even move if I get in the wrong position I expect it to go into a loss of control, in some time. But I don't have a problem with it. everything I sit on and sleep on is well protected, I stay 24/7 in diapers, and have for yrs. I don't like it when I can't pee its painful. So the other end is welcome to me. I am not one that is willing to use a Cath in fear of infections.

[oznl]

I'd guess we'd need to hear from somebody who had trained themself into bed wetting and then somehow trained themselves back out of it.  I don't think I've heard an account of this.  This is at best evidence by omission but it suggests that either this isn't easy or, the people who do this simply don't WANT to go back.

My own experience is that by the time you work out it is happening, it's baked in deeper than you think.  I've only been intermittently bed-wetting for a year or so (after two years 24/7) but I've no idea how I could go about reversing it.  It's just so unpredictable and when it happens (not every night for me), you've no idea until you wake up.

I went away with my partner for the first time in over a year (thanks to COVID-19) last week for a night.  At the back of my mind, I thought I'd would wake up to use my nappy through the night as I was not in my own bed.  Nope...  I woke up during the night sure but I was already well wet.  Good thing I'd worn a BetterDry and some terry-lined plastic pants over it but it's hardly the thing for a romantic night away.

[foreverdl]

I would think it's more of after the person has gone to all of the mental and physical work it will take to get there, they don't want to go back. Why would you do all the effort to get to be a bed wetter? if you really haven't thought it through, and researched all of the angles possible . I know for some it would be embarrassing to leak if at a motel etc. I spent over 2 yrs working out of town yrs ago, and I let the maids know not to worry about my bed. I had it made up with my own plastic etc. You just have to get over the embarrassment part of it. Plus we don't go away , anymore ,,, covid isn't helping that any. But when your disabled, there isn't the money for traveling ,, etc.

[Diapered Dave]

Ditto what they said...

I was a bedwetter as a kid, then I wanted to become one again, in my 30's. Once I trained myself to be a bedwetter again, I have found I can't go back.

If I go to bed without diapers, I still wet. I will be stuck in night time diapers for the rest of my life at this point.

[stevewet]

14 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

Ditto what they said...

I was a bedwetter as a kid, then I wanted to become one again, in my 30's. Once I trained myself to be a bedwetter again, I have found I can't go back.

If I go to bed without diapers, I still wet. I will be stuck in night time diapers for the rest of my life at this point.

I am the same my bed will be soaking wet by morning if I don't wear nappies and plastic pants.

[amorfraldaJR]

My aunt always taught me from age 13 " Be Careful What You Wish For " I have never bitten off more than I could chew. Wear diapers at night, and have control in the day. You don't have to be incon to enjoy diapers.

[WBxx]

20 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

Ditto what they said...

I was a bedwetter as a kid, then I wanted to become one again, in my 30's. Once I trained myself to be a bedwetter again, I have found I can't go back.

If I go to bed without diapers, I still wet. I will be stuck in night time diapers for the rest of my life at this point.

But do/did you truly want to go back?  Have you made a concerted effort to stop wetting the bed?  Think some folks that claim they can’t go back subconsciously want that to be the case.

[Mr. Sea Otter]

I'm only familiar with one person around here who successfully (un)trained and became a bed wetter and then (years later) wanted to go back to being dry and was unable to do so. The person has posted about it several times. I don't know the person in real life, so take it for what it is worth this being the internet and all.

It seems far more likely that becoming a bed wetter is really difficult and that most people have only marginal success even after years of trying. I don't think 'going back' to being dry would be all that hard unless there was some other medical problems going on.

 

[stevewet]

19 hours ago, WBxx said:

But do/did you truly want to go back?  Have you made a concerted effort to stop wetting the bed?  Think some folks that claim they can’t go back subconsciously want that to be the case.

I know I wouldn't want to be dry at night again. I am so much happier as a bedwetter.

[Little Sherri]

My experience with becoming a bedwetter again has been one of fits and starts, and gradual changes you don't really notice at first. I never set out to expressly make myself a bedwetter again, and I'm not sure I entirely have - lately I have been waking up pretty dry, or, waking up to "go" and then immediately falling back asleep, with much greater frequency than the frequency with which I find myself in the morning in a wet diaper I can't explain. But the thing about the term "frequency" is that it only applies to events that "occur". We don't talk about the frequency of reptilian uprisings. Well, most of us don't. 

So, although I started wearing diapers to bed primarily because I wanted to wear diapers to bed, and not because of any goal to go back to bedwetting, I now do occasionally wake up in a wet diaper that I have no memory of causing. One could argue that this "comes easier" for me than for some, because I was a bedwetter for the first 10 and a half years of my life, but, my research on the topic has shown that, in general, my trajectory on this has followed that of other people who decided to put themselves in diapers at night, even if they had no history of previous bedwetting. There does seem to be a common experience among us. 

At this point, I wouldn't want to go to bed without wearing a diaper, but, I even if I wanted to, I don't think I could do it, and I'm not sure what one could do to regain that capability. When I was a kid wearing diapers to bed, my parents tried everything - restricting fluids, waking me up multiple times to use the washroom, reward charts, browbeating, even some subtle humiliation, and, until my inner systems reached some milestone of maturity, nothing worked. I suspect most of the testimonials that one can find about the efficacy of wetness alarms and such are more often than not evidence that correlation does not prove causation. Most kids stop wetting the bed at some point. Sometimes, that happens to occur right after someone buys a device. 

So having had essentially no voluntary hand in laying down the neural pathways that restrain your bladder while you are sleeping, and then, having gone and allowed them to atrophy, how does one now "deliberately" reconstruct them? I have no idea. 

Whereas it has been shown that some people can reconstruct their conscious continence, because, well, they're aware of it, and the mind is a powerful force. But when consciousness is on sabbatical, how does one set out to "do" anything?  So, yeah, be careful what you wish for, I guess, but, at the same time, at least right now, I have no regrets. 

[Cute_Kitten]

Easy to reverse the process? Maybe, for some. For others- judging from what I've read on the board- others have found it hard/ impossible to regain control.  It's a gamble with no certainties. If you want to pursue bedwetting, you should think long and hard and be certain you can accept the consequences. Including the possibilities of it being permanent. 

[Kaliborio]

Hey! I was referred here by an ask that was sent to my blog.

I'm a bedwetter of this kind. Granted, I think I'm not necessarily a "pure" example because I had chronic issues with continence prior, but I developed from "basically no accidents" to "bedwetting full-time" from about mid-2012 through the end of 2013, and I believe that it was due to 24/7 wear and to some extent consciously pursuing untraining.

My experience, both personally and with other people who have untrained, is that once you become a bedwetter as a result of untraining, it is — as far as I have been able to reasonably determine — permanent. I agree with Little Sherri's conclusion: it's not as if you can catch yourself bedwetting and stop it. Even if you decide that bedwetting is the negative outcome, there's no 'positive' stimulus to do conditioning with, no bell for Pavlov's dog to salivate at. There's just the negative stimulus (wetting the bed) and the lack of it, which could be a good thing or could be complete chance, and is in any case impossible to "reward" yourself for.

Anecdotally, I have also observed (across a very limited sample size) that developing bedwetting seems to make it harder to regain or retain daytime continence. I think it might be because even when you're wetting in your sleep, your mind is internalising that it's okay to wet your diapers. If the thing you're trying to do is not wet your diapers, that's pretty much fatal.

[Stroller]

2 hours ago, Kaliborio said:

I think it might be because even when you're wetting in your sleep, your mind is internalising that it's okay to wet your diapers. If the thing you're trying to do is not wet your diapers, that's pretty much fatal.

That makes sense to me.  On the other hand, my mind seems to be pretty much reconciled to it being OK to wet.  Often these days it just happens, including at night.  But, I've never wet in my sleep, as far as I'm aware.  I don't know why, but I only wet when I'm awake, or half awake.  I don't mind really - once I made the commitment to full-time wearing permanently, it's not going to cause real problems one way or the other.  It'd be nice to sleep through the night though.  I've been wearing 24/7 for nearly a year now, and all the time except at night for 2 1/2 years.  Maybe I'll start wetting in my sleep at some point, and maybe I won't, but I don't see I've got any control over that.

[justforfun]

On 1/21/2021 at 9:21 AM, Mr. Sea Otter said:

I'm only familiar with one person around here who successfully (un)trained and became a bed wetter and then (years later) wanted to go back to being dry and was unable to do so. The person has posted about it several times. I don't know the person in real life, so take it for what it is worth this being the internet and all.

It seems far more likely that becoming a bed wetter is really difficult and that most people have only marginal success even after years of trying. I don't think 'going back' to being dry would be all that hard unless there was some other medical problems going on.

(I thought I replied before, but it didn't take, or went in the bin-of-unloved-posts, or something.  Anyway...)

You might well be referring to me... yep, became a self-taught bedwetter about 20 years ago.  About 8 years (or so?)  ago I went through a significant effort to re-train to stop it.  I was unsuccessful, and I kind of gave up after perhaps 2 years of trying. 

Contrary to what others have posted, though, at least it does not seem to affect my waking continence, which is fortunate, but that's just my experience.

On 1/25/2021 at 5:08 AM, Kaliborio said:

 I think it might be because even when you're wetting in your sleep, your mind is internalising that it's okay to wet your diapers. If the thing you're trying to do is not wet your diapers, that's pretty much fatal.

I'd expand that it's not just wetting diapers being OK that my mind has internalized.  I convinced my sleeping brain that if I felt any bladder pressure that it was OK to just let it out when I was sleeping.  This happens whether or not I'm wearing a diaper, which is the problem, of course!  

Apparently I am way too convincing to myself, because I couldn't later convince my mind that it should not just release.  Why?  I don't know.

[oznl]

On 1/25/2021 at 11:08 PM, Kaliborio said:

 I agree with Little Sherri's conclusion: it's not as if you can catch yourself bedwetting and stop it.

I think this is a more succinct version of the point I was trying to express.  Although at this point I'm only an intermittent bed wetter (a few nights per week), there's no behaviour I can "grab on to" in order to NOT do.  By the time I realise that I've peed through my dreams, the nappy is wet...

I do believe that in my case, this was a learned behaviour acquired over more than a year of deliberately emptying my bladder into my nappy every time I stirred during the night.  Eventually, the amount of wakefulness associated with doing this just go lower and lower.

I still wonder if I am still waking to wet on bed-wetting nights but simply not enough to remember doing so the next morning.  If that were the case, it may be possible that I'd stay dry without a nappy.  I'm still waiting for COVID-19 to go away so my partner can travel again.  Then I can experiment without getting into massive marital trouble.

[oznl]

On 1/26/2021 at 1:37 AM, Stroller said:

That makes sense to me.  On the other hand, my mind seems to be pretty much reconciled to it being OK to wet.  Often these days it just happens, including at night.  But, I've never wet in my sleep, as far as I'm aware.  I don't know why, but I only wet when I'm awake, or half awake.  I don't mind really - once I made the commitment to full-time wearing permanently, it's not going to cause real problems one way or the other.  It'd be nice to sleep through the night though.  I've been wearing 24/7 for nearly a year now, and all the time except at night for 2 1/2 years.  Maybe I'll start wetting in my sleep at some point, and maybe I won't, but I don't see I've got any control over that.

It certainly STARTED being awake, or memorably half awake to pee.

I think the first hints at unremembered night time wettings were some pee dreams: dreaming about needing to pee in some way.  A standard cliche pee dream involved needing to pee, repeatedly peeing but that peeing never providing any real relief, ie the need returned with a few minutes.  Rarely, there would be the mother-of-all-realistic-dream-pee experiences that WOULD provide relief but I never knew if these corresponded to actual wetting events as I was always wet anyway to some extent.  Those dreams eventually receded.

The first tangible clues were realising that I was regularly waking up in a nappy that was wetter than I could remember making it and also, waking up in the morning with an empty bladder.   Most mornings on wakening now, there is little more than a dribble to be had.  I don't think that's how things used to be.

I think at the back of my head, I'm coming around to the idea that even if I have to abandon 24/7, I will probably be in night nappies for the rest of my life but I still want to test myself at some point.

[stevewet]

Most people that come on here wanting to be bedwetters seem to disappear quickly. I wonder how many succeed.

[Stroller]

1 hour ago, stevewet said:

Most people that come on here wanting to be bedwetters seem to disappear quickly. I wonder how many succeed.

That's true.  It probably doesn't make much sense to try unless you really want to commit to it permanently.  I suspect most like the idea of it but not the commitment.  It doesn't really bother me whether I end up wetting in my sleep or not - I'll be in a nappy anyway.

[nappylover78]

2 hours ago, Stroller said:

That's true.  It probably doesn't make much sense to try unless you really want to commit to it permanently.  I suspect most like the idea of it but not the commitment.  It doesn't really bother me whether I end up wetting in my sleep or not - I'll be in a nappy anyway.

Exactly... wetting your nappy in bed feels so good that I'd rather be awake to enjoy it anyway!