You're not helping

[Maxxy]

Okay, I realize that putting this out there most likely won't change much. I understand that the people this reaches are not likely to change their minds. But regardless, I must get this off my chest.

If you, or someone you know is in the AB/DL community and wishes to be on a television program where you will discuss it and/or be interviewed about it, DO NOT DO IT.

We're not going to gain any more acceptance in the mainstream via this method for the foreseeable future, and quite frankly, we SHOULDN'T be trying to be accepted in the mainstream. No matter what you say about whether this is or is not a fetish; about whether it is or is not sexual, IT DOESN'T MATTER. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING WE NEED TO BE EXPOSING IN PUBLIC. Nine times out of ten, people aren't going to get it, especially these days. Being that we live in the age of reality TV, shock value is what sells; or at least, that's what the TV execs seem to think. Regardless of the reasoning, not ONCE has anything good come from anyone in the AB/DL community appearing on TV.

I don't care if your intentions were good. I don't care that you wanted to engage in intelligent, reasonable discourse. I don't care that you're a nice person otherwise. IF YOU ARE IN THE AB/DL COMMUNITY, DO NOT MAKE APPEARANCES ABOUT IT ON TV.

YOU. ARE. NOT. HELPING.

YOU JACKASS.

Maxxy out.

[wetdiaper222]

1 hour ago, Maxxy said:

DO NOT MAKE APPEARANCES ABOUT IT ON TV.

YOU. ARE. NOT. HELPING.

[DailyDi]

I get asked regularly to do interviews and TV... as a fat, middle-aged guy with a skin condition I KNOW I would be ridiculed and it would only hurt the community.

[spoonchicken]

agreed, agreed, ....agreed

[FretaBWet]

Maxxy your right. The ones this pertains to will not be swayed by this post but I do hope you at least feel better getting this off your chest.

Hugs,

Freta

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

I have to complete disagree with this sentiment. The problem is who we have representing us on TV and where we're being represented, not that we're being represented to begin with. (There's a smaller problem that this community can't take valid criticisms of itself and expects a puff piece, but that's below the larger problem of who it puts forward.) The people who should be representing us won't step forward for legitimate interviews and the ones who shouldn't are too eager to do so.

Having said that, here's what should be expected from anyone whose willing to give an interview:

1. Get it in writing! If a show's producer says they're going to portray AB/DLs positively, get it in writing as part of the contract for your appearance. Don't hesitate to negotiate either, if a producer wants footage of you undergoing a diaper change, make it conditional that they also have to match that footage with footage of you doing something completely normal, and that use of the diaper change is conditional upon use of the footage of an everyday task. Again, get it in writing. Also, get it in writing that the footage can't be edited out of context to make you string together a sentence you never said.

2. YOU'RE ON TELEVISION! (So act like the whole world is watching.) This is what people never seem to grasp. If you're going on television, assume the whole world is watching and that anything you say or do WILL appear in the show. If you wouldn't put it online, don't put it on television. Think before you answer a question, and make sure the answer you give cannot be misconstrued as something that you don't mean.

2A. YOU'RE ON TELEVISION! (So dress for the part!) Again, this is something few people seem to think of ahead of time. Look in mirror before you enter a room with cameras. How do you look? Would you want to see someone who looks like you on TV? Would your friends? If the answer is "yes," you probably figured this one out. If the answer is "no," put on something that makes you look like a quote unquote "normal" person. Avoid clothing that lets your ass hang out or that otherwise looks unflattering. Dress like you're a courtroom defendant in a criminal case, and your lawyer put you a suit/dress to make you look less likely of being guilty. (This is actually a common tactic.) The more sane you look when you're not wearing diapers, the better you'll make the rest of us look.

3. Be interesting, but not idiotic. Why are you going on TV? If someone writes a book about you will I want to read it? If the answer is "no," you shouldn't be going on TV. Are you just an AB/DL, or do you have some other interest that people can relate to? Play up your other interest so that your portrayed in a balanced fashion, and that you come off as someone whose not just a bit nutty, but whose actually a balanced person.

4. Be the master of your own promotions. Get it in your contract that you get to promote your appearance on the show, and to discuss it. If you don't get that, don't do the interview. (Anyone desperate enough will eventually concede if everyone makes this demand.) Once you've got permission, promote the hell out of your appearance, out of what you did for the show, and make sure your promotion is tied to places where viewers of the show are likely to see it. Live-tweet/blog your episode, and make sure you're controlling the narrative around you.

5. Don't do a show you haven't seen before! This really should be a no-brainer, but it apparently isn't. Yes, being on TV is fun and exciting, and yes there are plenty of shows that are done well, but there's also plenty of crap. Don't sign up for something that you're not at least somewhat familiar with, and for everyone's sake, avoid anything on TLC and similar "trash TV" channels.

[Maxxy]

Look, I'm just going to come right out and say it. You are wrong. This whole community is not one that requires public exposure. What we're doing is something that should be kept in private, regardless of whether it's sexual or not. You can account for all of these factors, but at the end of the day, it's only going to help so much. People are still going to be repulsed by the idea. That's just how it is.

[Diapered Jason]

So this is pretty tough.

[Maxxy]

I agree with sex positive education, however you can't just jump right in and immediately go with the hardcore fetish stuff.

[Elfy]

7 hours ago, DailyDi said:

I get asked regularly to do interviews and TV... as a fat, middle-aged guy with a skin condition I KNOW I would be ridiculed and it would only hurt the community.

You could be the best looking person alive and the most charming and they would still film and edit the show to make you look crazy or to put a negative spin on you and everyone else.

These talk shows and documentaries aren't made to have a full and frank discussion about the subject. They are made to parade the freaks in order to get people to watch their show.

For people who think any exposure is better than no exposure I disagree, the whole "There is no such thing as bad publicity" idea is rubbish. As can be shown by all the different examples of politicians, business people or celebrities saying stupid things in public and then getting all the negative press that is associated with it.

A majority or the public either don't know or (more likely) don't particularly care that there is a community of people who like dressing up and acting like a baby and whether people appear on TV or not it doesn't change. It only gives the masses something to gawk over for 30 minutes or an hour. At the end of it they go back to forgetting that ABDLs exist anywhere, or otherwise retaining a negative image of ABDLs because of how shows are edited or filmed to make sure a negative or weird image is presented.

Even the argument that it means people who might like nappies but don't act on it because they think they are alone or whatever doesn't hold water because with the internet here everyone can and does search things like this which show they aren't alone.

Really, whenever an ABDL or member of any other fetish group go on TV they are going on a show designed to entertain the masses, and all these shows want is a freak show to get people to tune in and gawk through the window at the people on the show just like a freak show at a circus or animals at the zoo.

[rusty pins]

I've said things like this for years.

[willnotwill]

It's one thing to show up on Springer or Montel or Maury which you know isn't going to be friendly to any guest and perhaps to do a show that features sexual things (like the 20 stone baby thing).

[Elfy]

2 minutes ago, willnotwill said:

It's one thing to show up on Springer or Montel or Maury which you know isn't going to be friendly to any guest and perhaps to do a show that features sexual things (like the 20 stone baby thing).

Even that doesn't always go well... Just look at the fact that one of the people involved was assaulted on their doorstep afterwards and the business they lost, I know of several people who visited their nursery once or several times who decided not to go back for fear of exposure or abuse or something like that. And why was that documentary made in the first place? Yet again to put on some odd people the general public could gawp at.

That documentary was unbiased in its editing from what I remember but still it produced very negative reaction through most of the public and trouble for some of the people appearing in it.

[Diapered Jason]

5 hours ago, Maxxy said:

I agree with sex positive education, however you can't just jump right in and immediately go with the hardcore fetish stuff.

You see, that's the problem. Even we think of our fetish

[Elfy]

2 minutes ago, Diapered Jason said:

You see, that's the problem. Even we think of our fetish

[FretaBWet]

This desire to "educate" the general public on our community is completely wrong. I believe the motivation stems from guilt and other negative feelings in oneself. This is never going to work because you can not control how someone thinks or feels. You can only control your own thoughts and emotions.

[Baby Brian]

I completely agree with DD/ML above. The problem we face isn't trying to educate

[AwakenEvil]

Agree with OP. Stop going on TV

[kevindhca]

11 hours ago, Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover said:

I have to complete disagree with this sentiment. The problem is who we have representing us on TV and where we're being represented, not that we're being represented to begin with. (There's a smaller problem that this community can't take valid criticisms of itself and expects a puff piece, but that's below the larger problem of who it puts forward.) The people who should be representing us won't step forward for legitimate interviews and the ones who shouldn't are too eager to do so.

Having said that, here's what should be expected from anyone whose willing to give an interview:

1. Get it in writing! If a show's producer says they're going to portray AB/DLs positively, get it in writing as part of the contract for your appearance. Don't hesitate to negotiate either, if a producer wants footage of you undergoing a diaper change, make it conditional that they also have to match that footage with footage of you doing something completely normal, and that use of the diaper change is conditional upon use of the footage of an everyday task. Again, get it in writing. Also, get it in writing that the footage can't be edited out of context to make you string together a sentence you never said.

2. YOU'RE ON TELEVISION! (So act like the whole world is watching.) This is what people never seem to grasp. If you're going on television, assume the whole world is watching and that anything you say or do WILL appear in the show. If you wouldn't put it online, don't put it on television. Think before you answer a question, and make sure the answer you give cannot be misconstrued as something that you don't mean.

2A. YOU'RE ON TELEVISION! (So dress for the part!) Again, this is something few people seem to think of ahead of time. Look in mirror before you enter a room with cameras. How do you look? Would you want to see someone who looks like you on TV? Would your friends? If the answer is "yes," you probably figured this one out. If the answer is "no," put on something that makes you look like a quote unquote "normal" person. Avoid clothing that lets your ass hang out or that otherwise looks unflattering. Dress like you're a courtroom defendant in a criminal case, and your lawyer put you a suit/dress to make you look less likely of being guilty. (This is actually a common tactic.) The more sane you look when you're not wearing diapers, the better you'll make the rest of us look.

3. Be interesting, but not idiotic. Why are you going on TV? If someone writes a book about you will I want to read it? If the answer is "no," you shouldn't be going on TV. Are you just an AB/DL, or do you have some other interest that people can relate to? Play up your other interest so that your portrayed in a balanced fashion, and that you come off as someone whose not just a bit nutty, but whose actually a balanced person.

4. Be the master of your own promotions. Get it in your contract that you get to promote your appearance on the show, and to discuss it. If you don't get that, don't do the interview. (Anyone desperate enough will eventually concede if everyone makes this demand.) Once you've got permission, promote the hell out of your appearance, out of what you did for the show, and make sure your promotion is tied to places where viewers of the show are likely to see it. Live-tweet/blog your episode, and make sure you're controlling the narrative around you.

5. Don't do a show you haven't seen before! This really should be a no-brainer, but it apparently isn't. Yes, being on TV is fun and exciting, and yes there are plenty of shows that are done well, but there's also plenty of crap. Don't sign up for something that you're not at least somewhat familiar with, and for everyone's sake, avoid anything on TLC and similar "trash TV" channels.

Completely agree.

Get an ironclad contract that specifically states you have final say over the finished program and specifies penalties for violating the terms.

You are completely normal, the show must reflect that. Doesn't matter how many lawyers they have, contract breach is easy to litigate.

[Elfy]

The fact that you equate AB rights with the other things listed is just a shockingly ignorant thing to say.

Anti-Slavery and civil rights movements were because of a whole race of people forced into bondage to serve "superior" white owners. The point in that very long campaign that lasted centuries was to get all races treated equal. From ending slavery, then ending the idea of segregation all the way to granting equal rights regardless of race. Slavery is still a major problem in parts of the World as well I know, but I was focusing on the American slavery for the sake of brevity.

The fight for womens rights was and is about things such as making sure women had equal rights and pay in the workplace amongst other things, and before that just the right to vote and the long struggle for them to be seen as equal to their male counterparts.

The fight for gay rights was to first stop it from being illegal or seen as a mental illness and then being granted the same rights as straight people, for instance the right to marriage.

What are ABDL's being denied that requires them to fight for their rights?

---

You will also never get a contract like that... If you demand it they will just move on to the next fool who won't, and even then, a contract like that would be so vague and so hard and expensive to fight in court that it would be totally impractical. Not to mention even a show that is very sympathetic to the ABDLs on it will still be ridiculed by the public at large.

[AwakenEvil]

Why is this even a talking point. Anyone with a brain simply would evaluate the issue here. Going on TV will destroy your life if you bring this topic up to mass audience that they generate. I honestly can't think of any good that's ever come from any of these talk shows or tv spots. Simply put if you mind being the laughing stalk by all means make a fool of yourself on national tv. We will enjoy the FAP material and meme created from it for sure.

[Baby Brian]

Oh please, like you really believe I was equating slavery to ab rights. The point I

[AwakenEvil]

I'm comfortable with being an ABDL and I don't need the publics opinion to validate myself.

I think I know what needs to happen. We need someone like myself to agree to go on TV anytime we hear about another ABDL going on TV. I will dress in a Casey Jones Hockey Mask to protect my identity and everytime another ABDL goes on national TV I will come there and continuously hit them with a wiffle ball bat until they get off TV. This will be my new crusade!

[Demon-hunter]

i agree with maxxy

i mean remember the DR.Phil episode?! completely embarrassing.

even the 15 stone babies documentary was ticking me off and i diffident finished it.

[Elfy]

I'm done.

The moment someone seriously tells me ABs are persecuted and compares their acceptance with other huge civil rights changes is where I just have to stop taking someones opinions seriously and saying what I really think at this point would be a bad move, as would writing "ha" 15,000 times and crashing the forum.

I will leave one more point before I go though... For great society changes to happen it requires a majority of the population to believe something should change, not just in the group of people that want changes but from the general public as well. I will be generous and say that the split is 50/50 in terms of who want more exposure and who don't (in reality I think that there are a lot more people who don't want more exposure than those who do). You will never make social change happen if you can't even get a vast majority of people in the group to want change. If you want to devote your life to a cause, devote it to a real cause, like charity, helping the elderly or disabled or whatever else. Just get out of the self-important AB bubble (and I mean that in the sense that ABs are just one of hundreds or thousands of fetishes/kinks/whatever... Don't make out that ABs are different to any other fetish/kink/whatever) that some people are in.

And with a swish of my cape I am out of this thread.