Realization And Acceptance.

[Qball1989]

Just curious, at what age did you first penalize that you were an ABDL? Even if you didn't know What it meant at what age did you first realize that you had different feelings then the majority of people around you? My second part of the question is at what age did you come to an acceptance of who you are?

I first realized that I was Different in probably the fourth grade. Not exactly sure how old that would be, probably around 10. I didn't come to an acceptance Of who I am until about a week ago. And right now I am 23 years old.

[diaperlad]

I think for me it was sixth grade. I've always been a diaperlover through out elementary. Secretly wearing diapers to

[BitterGrey]

I've had an interest, a desire, for diapers for as long as I can remember.

[Red Barchetta]

Can't really say for sure honestly - I have been in diapers literally my whole life due to medical issues, so that's nothing.. As for the rest, well, it slowly evolved - I mean, I don't recall whom, or at what age (so it had to be pretty young) but I got some clothing, homemade, I know was meant as a novelty/joke (and I recall taking it a just being funny, so it had to be someone close), and ended up actually wearing to, a lot, because I found it comfortable, but other than that - I really can't recall anything other than just a gradual thing.

[Qball1989]

I've had an interest, a desire, for diapers for as long as I can remember.

[sarah_ab]

i was just turned 21 and discovered an ABDL story site on accident - was doing research for a baby on adult/infant relationships in which the adult and infant were not parent/child.. i.e. like an infant and aunt, or grandparent, or other adult family friend.. i typed in adult baby relationships... you can imagine the hits i got! lol..

[Diaperderpy]

I found out when i was 10 because of a diaper in the mail. I think it was a test thing, but i tried it in. Too bad it was a size 3 and didn't fit lol. Im still struggling with acceptance, but i font think i am a freak for it anymore, so i am getting better

[BigC300]

It was either four or five years old for me. The idea was already embedded in my mind. The diaper was laying on the bed and I should lay across it and rub the tip of my penis on it until I experienced a terrific feeling emanating from my penis! Sometimes I would rub so hard that it would start bleeding. Back then, Moms and Dads did not feel it was necessary to teach four year olds how to masturbate, they were self educated!

[susie.sparkle]

I'm literally just realising it now. It's been a pretty interesting few months for me (this isn't the only thing I've discovered about myself in the past few months, or indeed, past few years... It's been quite the turbulent period.

[Fontaine]

Just curious, at what age did you first penalize that you were an ABDL? Even if you didn't know What it meant at what age did you first realize that you had different feelings then the majority of people around you? My second part of the question is at what age did you come to an acceptance of who you are?

I first realized that I was Different in probably the fourth grade. Not exactly sure how old that would be, probably around 10. I didn't come to an acceptance Of who I am until about a week ago. And right now I am 23 years old.

[gah!ghost]

First off, I always find it so interesting to hear about people's experiences that are different than mine. The farther removed from my experiences the better. I still routinely do this thing, where I assume that other people are the same as me. I do this despite knowing I'm an odd person. Not just in terms of having a diaper fetish but so much else about me. For example, I am always surprised a tv show I have long since stopped watching is still on the air. I stopped watching it, that must mean everyone else stopped watching it too right?

[Bettypooh]

This question isn't as easy to answer for me as it is for many. I could have used diapers to very good effect growing up- I needed them physically and had I been allowed them I would have accepted them. I wore several home-made ones in my mid-adult years when I went to bed drunk That all makes it hard to know exactly when I knew I wanted to wear them emotionally, and even that was a process of discovery which took a couple years time. I'd say the urge to wear without need started when I was 45ish, and a couple years later I realized the depth of it, and that it was here to stay and growing Another couple years went by before I really began to accept this in me when I began realizing that I was DL, not AB, and that this wasn't a fetish. My full self-acceptance only came a few years ago when I began wearing 24/7 and the world didn't come to an end because of it By then there was a small physical need returning after decades of my having barely adequate but usable bladder control, so the die was cast for me anyway

[gah!ghost]

It's always great for me to hear that there's other DLs who aren't fetishists. It seems fairly uncommon though.

[rosalie.bent]

The survey we are running asks pretty much this same question: when did you first become aware that there was something different going on. Often we can take many years to formulate or

[h200420012]

3-4 years old.

[Qball1989]

Thanks again to everybody who has posted their experiences that year. Reading other people's experiences really helping me to understand myself. Thanks again for being such a supportive community and everything.

[Rachel Emily]

I covered a good deal of this in my introductory post in the Newbie Nursery, but I kind of glossed over it. Acceptance was for me a rather long and torturous process.

[Qball1989]

I covered a good deal of this in my introductory post in the Newbie Nursery, but I kind of glossed over it. Acceptance was for me a rather long and torturous process.

[rosalie.bent]

Wow, thanks for telling all of that. I can completely understand what you say when you thought you were a pedophile. For so many years I thought the same thing. I thought that because I loved diapers and loved to think of myself as a little kid That was what I was. But the thought of anyone Doing something like that to a child. I mean hurting them physically, mentally, Or in any other sense absolutely outraged me. Last year I worked a Camp for kids who were between the ages of nine and 14. After working at camp I realize that I am actually very protective of kids. But I would never, ever. Think about doing something like that to a child. So it's fifty-year that I wasn't the only one who thought that.

[Bettypooh]

I think most of us worry that we might be pedo's at some point because of the diapers. I also think that's a good thing It makes us think about this deeply, and when we realize that real children have nothing to do with our desires it brings us some peace and an opening to self-acceptance What we do from there is up to us. Most of the really strong non-sexual urges in life start early and become part of our core being. Yet there are always many who will not realize these things until later in life because of denial and that they don't want to be like that I simply refused to think about my differences and filled my life with so much of everything else that I didn't have time to think So when life brought me to a screeching halt and I had the time, those thoughts came forward like a tsunami because there was nothing in place to stop them It can feel overwhelming but it's really just a release of what's been bottled up onside for so long. Early or late, there will come a time when you know that this is you, like it or not, and that the only solution is to allow yourself to be who you are often enough to maintain your own composure through ut.

[Qball1989]

Yea, I would agree that first thinking we are pedophiles is prolly a good thing. The second thing that you said I am just now starting to learn. I am figuring out that I have had some regression tendencies that were not sexual as early as first grade.

[WDCA]

I remember being 4 or 5 and fascinated by pictures of myself in a diaper or getting my diaper changed. I remember telling my Mom they were my favorite pictures. When I was 6 I wanted to get my hands on some diapers and asked friends to help. Around 7 I stole some baby diapers from a friends house a couple times in elementary school and I knew enough to know I should hide it from my parents and my friends. I don't remember anything bad happening, just that nobody should know. I think through the binge/purge cycles throughout my youth and thinking I was a weirdo. Then at 14 we got the internet and some point after I found alt.sex.diapers and DPF.com and slowly began the transition to acceptance.

I also remember putting on those stolen diapers at 7 and getting an erection and thinking it was annoying. I didn't make the association or know anything about sex at the time. Growing up as a diaper lover, it was never sexual for me, although I'm pretty certain it is based on sexual energy. (Wanting to wear when I'm horny/Not wanting to wear after I masturbated) I remember discovering masturbation and then after when I came home from school I didn't have that pull to wear diapers anymore, I wanted to masturbate. I'm fairly thankful that I never drew the association of sex with diapers simply because it makes finding a partner easier. I don't need the fetish to get off.. it can just be something intimate that I share when the time is right.

[Qball1989]

I really like what you said in your last post. I think you summed it all up nicely I can remember times when I would not even go place that there were childern because I was worried that I would become attracted to them. now I dont worry about that. I know that it has nothing to do with kids, it has to do with me wanting to be a kid. there is nothing wrong with that.

[BabyJune]

Probably around 7 or 8 years old. I was almost impossible to potty train and still tend to hang onto things from the past. I also refuse to "grow up." I suppose for me diapers are more of a symbolism to a carefree time in my life and that's why I wear them now: to attempt to feel how I did when I actually needed them.

[Qball1989]

That's definitely a part of it for me. Even though I don't wear them I just fantasize about it.