Does Birth Order Have Anything To Do With Our Desires?

[belinda_sue_fox]

Course it don't have anything to do with the birth order....Thats what i get for opening something then doing other stuff before actually thinking what i was going to type.

[BabyJune]

Birth order has very little to do with infantilism. Most of what causes a person to become involved with infantilism is an experience or experiences during very early formative years that causes you to associate diapers/baby clothes and other paraphernalia with "pleasure." Only after puberty does infantilism become linked with sexual pleasure. Until you are able to experience sexual arousal--caused by whatever reason--infantilism acts on the pleasure center of your system in other ways: comfort of soft cloth or babyish items, as an example.

If you were firstborn, it is possible that you got pleasure in all the attention you received as a baby. It is also possible that if you had a terrible childhood you are seeking to undo the damage and relive it on your terms. If you were middle born or last born, you may have longed to be on the receiving end of the "babying," thus you regressed in order to experience those feelings again.

There are so many different factors involved in why people become infantilists as well as the level and type of activities we do. Some people just like the feel of diapers; others like to dress a certain age and role-play. And oddly enough, both pleasant and traumatic childhoods can be the trigger. When I wrote Bikini Twist, I explored the backgrounds of five individuals (fictional people) to show how different lifestyles and childhoods could lead down similar paths. That book probably sums it up best. Crib Notes showcases infantilism from the perspective of a firstborn child who has a younger brother; same with Dirty Secrets. In Alter Ego, Daryl Penner is an only child. And to tell you the truth, when I was writing those books, with the exception of Bikini Twist, I gave very little thought to birth order.

You do ask a good question in this post.

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Ha. You have missed the thing a lot seem to attribute to becoming ABDL. If people had affection from their parents as kids.

Once again my post is the most important in a thread!!!

Yes Bel thank you for giving me this input & I have added that question to the poll.

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

If you were firstborn, it is possible that you got pleasure in all the attention you received as a baby. It is also possible that if you had a terrible childhood you are seeking to undo the damage and relive it on your terms. If you were middle born or last born, you may have longed to be on the receiving end of the "babying," thus you regressed in order to experience those feelings again.

There are so many different factors involved in why people become infantilists as well as the level and type of activities we do. And oddly enough, both pleasant and traumatic childhoods can be the trigger.

You do ask a good question in this post.

You do make some very interesting points here & what I have quoted here from your post is definitely true for Me. I appreciate yours as well as everyone else's input. Keep it coming,

Rockies Fan.

[titefronce]

Do you feel like you received enough love & care from your Parents or were you rushed to Grow up without that Love & Care?

There are two opposites questions here... so if I answer Yes, is it:

Yes I feel like I received enough love

or

Yes I grow up without that love and care

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Do you feel like you received enough love & care from your Parents or were you rushed to Grow up without that Love & Care?

There are two opposites questions here... so if I answer Yes, is it:

Yes I feel like I received enough love

or

Yes I grow up without that love and care

Yes I realized that this might happen after I updated the poll & I wanted to separate the questions but on a poll it is a maximum limit of 3 total questions so I couldn't split them up. I apologize for the confusion.

Rockies Fan.

[Guest Lilly89]

i mm da youngest of fwee!!(three)

my oldest sibling is 10 years exactly older then me my sibling that is closer to mah age is 15 months oldah!

i perosnally felt loved but like i didn't get enough attention but mostly like no one understood meh..... i wasn't good with expressing myself.... i was a later bloomer too i didn't talk to i was i fwink trwee..??

[Repaid1]

I like the poll, but like was mentioned the third question throws a seperation problem. Perhaps you should word it different such as

Do you feel like you received enough love & care from your Parents (Vote Yes) or were you rushed to Grow up without that Love & Care? (Vote No)

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

I like the poll, but like was mentioned the third question throws a seperation problem. Perhaps you should word it different such as

Do you feel like you received enough love & care from your Parents (Vote Yes) or were you rushed to Grow up without that Love & Care? (Vote No)

Thanks Repaid, I didn't think about this creative way to split but yet get accurate information for this single but two-part question. Thanks for the Help & suggestion. I hope everyone is enjoying this topic of discussion as much as I am.

Rockies Fan.

[square_duck]

I am my parents' third child, with two younger siblings. The oldest is my sister Penny. My younger sister is Ruth. Our youngest sister is Missy. Like our Mom, Aunt Betsy and Granny Vi all us gals reverted to daily bedwetting ust after puberty and total urinary incontinence by age 21.

Certainly growing up I did not resist being diapered for trips and special events, but I never wanted to wear a diaper or play childishly. Penny and Missy were the sisters most into playing house.

I was 26 and depressed about my constant need for diapers when Missy told me she used adult baby play to cope. Until that evening I did not remember using a pacifier. She gave me a new set of MAMs. I found a MAM pacifier so relaxing. On my way home from her house I bought a couple of EvenFlo baby bottles and clear silicone nipples. Those also made me happy.

Looking back and knowing what I know now about infantilism, probably it is Penny who should be the most active ABDL of my sisters. She never is critical that Missy and me do play big baby to relax, but that is not Penny. Ruth will always be Ruth: up-tight, unhappy and a total PIA! Our Mom has often apologized for not telling us about ABDL. Of course back in the 1960s and 1970s how many people did know about ABDL?

My live, in-person AB pals cover the range of first to last born. My suspicion is that birth order is not a major factor in ABDL.

Your mom knew about this back in the '60's?? WOW! and it sounds like your sister Ruth needs to meet my PIA older brother

For me, I am the middle of 3. My older (PIA) bro is 4-ish years older and my younger brother is 14 months younger. Looking back and knowing what I know now, I put together a puzzle of my family dynamic. We were born into and raised in essentially a war zone. My father was insecure, narcissistic, and immature. He abused my mother psychosocially, emotionally, and spiritually, the worst sort of abuse. We grew up between her drinking and his neglect, and immature behavior and resentment of us, (He never really wanted children, but viewed us as a 'business transaction' my mom got what she wanted (kids) and so he had to get what 'he' wanted, her as a servant / slave' etc)

Anyways, a number of things were also happening in our household. My dad would 'invite' unwed mothers into the house (through is practice I guess) so that they could learn household chores and what it was to be a mother and take care of a household etc. I read a letter my mom wrote to her mother which essentially stated that the unwed mothers were more work than just taking care of the house herself" essentially useless *shrug*

One of the things that this program brought in was little kids in diapers, and all the smells and such. Couple this with my fathers jealousy and resentment of others for what ever reason, plus we lived in a neighborhood with lots of new families, so there were kids all around, some in diapers and others not, or still doing the P/T thing, and you get where (I think) my D/L side came from. I have a vivid memory of being around 5-6 years old and deciding that I wanted to wear diapers again, simply because other kids got to, and I thought they were cool and kind of a 'special' treat. Also the thought (influenced by my dads bad attitude) that "they get to wear them, why can't I? I don't think I was really 'hit' with the 'guilt' thing or brain washing that "only babies wear diapers" etc.

Sooooooo.... for birth order, *shrug* I don't know. As someone else posted, I was 14 months when my younger bro was born, so when I was 2 and in that P/T zone (I'm guessing) he was still in diapers. So again, the subliminal thinking from dad..."why does he get to wear them and I don't" etc. MEH.

It's a guess, but for me it wasn't so much birth order, but nature vs. nurture and environmental. Being essentially surrounded by kids wearing diapers, yet I couldn't, and had to be a 'big boy'

All I knew is that they were 'special' and 'magical' I wanted them

[BitterGrey]

I'm curious about how this survey will turn out. A previous survey showed some definite trends. I'm not sure if this new survey will permit the level of analysis necessary to confirm them.

http://understanding.infantilism.org/surveys/birthorder.php

The results suggest that the effects of birthorder occur during childhood, not at birth or before. For example, consider the second-born child. If the second born of two, he or she will be as likely as the firstborn to be an ABDL. In contrast, if the second-born of three, he or she will be least likely of the three to become an ABDL. Finally, the second-born of four or more will be most likely to become an ABDL. This might be an indirect effect. ABDLs with many younger siblings tended to have smaller gaps between siblings and be more likely to have to change diapers.

Birthorder also affected what aspects we considered important. For example the themes of control and babyhood were less important for the oldest than for their siblings.

[spark]

Looking at this, from early returns there is nothing really statistically significant in the numbers. It seems to run the gamut between people who were the youngest to oldest, and people who were nurtured and loved to people rushed to grow up. Not sure what that means.

Personally in my case, I was the youngest of 2 (technically 3- which may have played a role). My sister died in infancy before I was born (and I probably wouldn't have been born had she lived). My brother is four years older than me, and two years older than my sister. I know my family went through a tremendous amount of stress during my sister's short life, and I was sort of the recovery 'baby'.

As it was, I was definitely a different child. I wasn't potty trained until nearly 4, and remained very sheltered and 'young' for my age for most of my childhood. My relationship with my brother is interesting. Currently he is my most significant other, and clearly the most important person in my life (much more than most brother relationships). He is very protective of me, although I wouldn't say I'm his 'special' brother (I can beat him in golf). Meanwhile, socially I'm much more successful than my brother, and we are polar opposites. The relationship is a very critical part of my life, and has clearly played a role in all of the parts of my life (including this).

Interestingly, when we were kids my brother used to call me 'baby' which I hated. It started when I was around 4 and continued until I was about 10.

[CDLover]

I am a last born. I was a bed wetter and I'm not sure why since the doctors could not find anything physically wrong. It could have been an emotional thing since my mom got divorced when I was 2. When I was 5 I was put back in cloth diapers for a couple of months. I am convinced this was the trigger, because after the initial anger and humiliation, I came to like wearing diapers and wanted to continue wearing them to bed even after those 2 months ended. That desire never left, so now I wear cloth diapers nightly.

[Pampered_Cowboy]

I am the baby of the familiy. But I think what trigger my diaper desires was being force potty training and getting trained way to early

[rosalie.bent]

I put this question in the survey on Teen Babies and being discovered. My results from 200+ responses is that there seems to be no statistically significant difference in birth order and diaper attraction/adult babies.

I must confess I was hoping there would be something in it, but alas, it appears not!

[Bettypooh]

One word- weird. The way the stats add up (or more rightly do not add up) in about everything I've found ABDL is weird. There is no rhyme or reason with this save for some people with not-so-happy childhoods, but even then a lot of us had great childhoods. And many with bad childhoods aren't ABDL. We're a weird bunch, but happily so

Bettypooh

[rosalie.bent]

One word- weird. The way the stats add up (or more rightly do not add up) in about everything I've found ABDL is weird. There is no rhyme or reason with this save for some people with not-so-happy childhoods, but even then a lot of us had great childhoods. And many with bad childhoods aren't ABDL. We're a weird bunch, but happily so

Bettypooh

It certainly is an intriguing question 'where did this all come from'. I woudl dispute that it is wierd however. What it is is unresearched adequately. There are a variety of hypotheses and ideas and way-out-there suggestions but my experience has so far classified the reason in three categories:

1 DEVELOPMENTAL: normal infant/child development hits some hurdles along the way and some development is arrested and forms into AB behaviours later on

2 INCIDENTAL: incidents happen that trigger AB or provide solid backwards links from the present to the past. These can be good or bad incidents and also real or perceived incidents.

3 OTHER: This is the category that annoys me because a lot still fit in here. Good family, good mental health, good life outcomes and relationships... YET is still AB. I dont like the idea of people being 'born with AB' but until I get a better understanding, that appears to be true for quite some.

Id certainly like to research the causes and beginnings of AB but that would require a major reseach project and probably at least 500 detailed responses. Easier said than done although I got over 200 in my Teen Baby and Diaper Discovery survey!

Thanks everyone!

[xbabybx]

I was the middle child but i didn't actually meet my older brother until i was 17 so i'm not sure what i would be? I always knew about him though but my sperm donor wouldn't allow him to come meet me.