Greybird

Spot on! I bought some XL and they were huge, so I wrote and told them. They sent me 3 pairs of L free of charge, so they get 10 out of 10 for that, but the large ones are just a little tight. A size between L and XL would be perfect.

I was born in 1949 in the UK, and have one picture (I look a few months old) in a big thick nappy but no plastic pants at all, mind you the nappy was very thick! My sister was born in 1958 and she had these http://www.paddi.org.uk/paddi-garment.html. They were the first semi disposable nappy system which consisted of plastic pants and a disposable cotton wadding. I was transfixed by them but they were too small for me. After about two years old my nappies disappeared and I don’t know what kept me dry. At night I just had a plastic sheet under a cotton sheet and woke up every day soaking.

Golden rule ... wife goes to shower first, reason ... I try to wear my terry nappies at all times so there is a nappy bucket in the bathroom (no we don’t have three!) nappies get rinsed in the shower in the morning by which time they can be a bit rank ... comments have been made and the can of air freshener held at arms length through a crack in the door released. As a small aside, when in New Zealand we live on an island with no running water, we collect it from the roof into a tank, as it has been a bit dry recently I have a bucket in the shower to collect the first (cold) shower water for flushing the toilet with. So this morning was fun fighting nappies plastic pants and the damn bucket. i am very lucky as lovely wife is very accepting of the nappies, even the ones with pooh bear print, I parade around the house in nappy and t-shirt with alacrity and plastic pants of course.

I’m impressed that you have such good knowledge of what they are doing and the outcome. when will they do the next op? So there you have it, Woelkchen-2018, incontinence is sometimes a drag but better than the pain from sphincter muscles or as a consequence of prostate cancer. Incontinence is not the end of the world but would you Choose to have it....... entirely up to you!

Ever since my prostate operation I tell any (relevant) medic, I am not sure the dentist would be interested! Friends know I have had the operation and they know the consequences, they probably know the contents of my back-pack as well. I am happy to discuss it with anyone that asks/is interested. The thought of incontinence terrifies most men, information can ‘soften the blow’.

When I was nine, my young sister arrived, and as all parents seemed to congregate in the park and discuss things like nappies I used to sit close by and listen. One of the mothers used http://www.paddi.org.uk/history.html and I would watch transfixed as she changed her child’s nappy. How weird is that for a 9 year old boy bedwetter, longing to be put in them!!!! I just woke up in a wet bed every morning, mother would stand me on the toilet seat take my wet pyjamas off and wash my bottom and then give me pants for the day, never nappies. anyone else?

Excellent, kincade, it sounds like a good outcome. I have great respect for our medics (except for the one that did my right hip!) you will probably get more continence back as time goes on. Muscles need to repair and be re-educated etc. Pain is so debilitating. all the best for your recovery. Greybird

I hope the operation went well, no operation is good news, but if it removes pain etc. and gives certainty then it should be a good thing. Let us know how it goes. all the best Greybird

I enjoyed nappies 24/7 for the last 5/6 years. I have been to some degree an AB or DL all my life and wanted to be nappied. At about 60 I was getting urgency and frequency problems and that was my excuse to go 24/7. As oznl said, he still has background daytime continence, I was the same. I knew I could hold it but not for long. Last October I was told I had prostate cancer, I was just 70, fit, good diet, not overweight (well maybe a little bit) and active. It was quite a shock actually. I had it removed (just in time as it turned out) and I am now incontinent. My surgeon tells me I can regain continence if I do the exercises more often, but where before I had two sphincters doing the work, I now have one. The incontinence is different, poor willy (who is reduced in size and cannot get erect ... yet) drips continuously and if I manage to hold it, it will not be for long. So, what is the difference, what have I lost. Firstly, I cannot walk around in the nude. After morning shower, I have to put on a nappy straight away and don’t forget the plastic pants (terry nappies preferred here), then I cannot wear swimming trunks, they will be wet before I get into the water, so it’s shorts at the beach. I have to be aware of how wet my nappy or pull-up is if I am out and about, is there somewhere to change and if I have a pull-up on, is there space to get my shoes and trousers off, no? Then I carry with me a spare pull-up and a tabbed nappy, Tena slip or similar so that I can just rip off the pull-up, put on nappy, all without disrobing. Am I smelly, don’t forget the wipes! Etc. Etc. Etc. Oddly enough I am not sure I mind. I love my life and am now cancer free. If the price of that is incontinence then so be it. Inconvenient? Sure but a price worth paying. Will I try harder to be continent again as my surgeon says I should? Ask me in another six months time, at the moment I am happy. But I have digressed from the original question. My advise without doubt is that if you are becoming incontinent, go to the doctor asap. There are many nasty reasons why you might be incontinent, you need to find out if any of those apply to you before you resign yourself to wearing very expensive, inconvenient and environmentally unfriendly nappies. Just my two cents worth!

Maybe it’s an English thing but I love my flannelette sheet on top of my plastic mattress cover. I still like to feel the plastic sheet as when I was a little boy. Now I have one from Henley’s Medical, they are quite thick plastic which feels great. https://www.henleysmed.com/products/mattress-covers-protectors

You make some interesting points, but your country accepts immigrants without qualifications because a great part of your very successful economy relies on them. I will declare that I am not an America-file, I had some wonderful experiences there when I was young (on location in the film business) but recently I had experiences where people were so rude and angry that I have been put off returning again. So you may have a very successful economy but at what cost to your way of life. My last visit was when Obama was the chief and he put out an edict for the staff at the tourist venues (airports, hotels etc) to be better behaved toward the visitors. It is nice to hear that you are proud of your country and so you should be, but each country has it’s own identifiable values and they may not be money based. As the Beatles said ‘Money can’t buy me love’. Please accept that I mean no offence to America, there are some great things and people to have come out of America, I am just not sure that Amazon is one of them.

It is such a dichotomy! I hated wetting the bed as a child, my mother took away the nappies when I was 2.5/3years old so I just wet the sheets until I was 12. I had a plastic sheet which barely covered the mattress, so it got wet often and smelled, probably terrible to most, but I began to love it. I knew I was a failure to my parents (as well as being very dyslexic which was unknown in the 1950s) but I craved love from a cold mother so began to wet the bed for attention. At 10 years old I asked for nappies as I was not getting a very good night’s sleep, but she turned me down, so I just carried on wetting the bed. Now I’m 70 and have just had a prostatectomy so nappies are compulsory, I feel a bit guilty now because my surgeon says I should be gaining continence, but my dl side says stay in nappies, it’s legitimate, so I have decided to take my time with exercises and stay in the nappies. At least I have an understanding wife who does not mind! I still love the crinkly sheet on my bed, the smell of the morning nappy and that lovely feeling of a nappy and plastic pants caressing my boy parts.

This sums up many of the thoughts I have had, especially the trying to please others aspect. I was a bedwetter until I was 12, never a dry night and I knew I was a disappointment to my parents. I am also dyslexic (which was almost unknown in the 1950s) so a very low achiever. My greatest pleasure as a kid was riding my bike to the local park in London where we lived, where I would stay all day on my own in my little boy fantasy land. I made good in business but still retain my childish/creative needs for toys and nappies. Funny old life!

I am way passed working age and always worked for myself, so probably not the right person to comment, but I hate the ethos. In the UK all our local high streets have closed because everybody shops online, they sanitise the shopping experience. I do all my research at Amazon and find where I can buy what I need then avoid the thing. Sorry Bezos but you don’t need my cash.

I am not sure I believe in a ‘cure’ for being ab or dl, I wasted far too many years worrying about it! As for a cure for the incontinence, my surgeon was disappointed that I had so little control after six weeks post op. I did not tell him that I was not really trying, rather letting things take their own time, if they wanted! He told me pre op that as I suffered from urgency and bedwetting, I might never regain my continence. He was very surprised when I told him I did not mind! In many ways I quite enjoy the incontinence. If anyone sees my nappy, I have a ready made excuse and I can always cry ‘medical need’ if said nappy is about to leak in a difficult location. No, my only new problem is estimating how long a nappy will last. Right nappy for right time as well as working out which of the damn disposables doesn’t fall apart when I am active, ggrrrr very frustrating. On the plus side I do have a very supportive wife who is perfectly happy to see hubby in a nappy. I feel for you on that score.

As usual, Oznl, a most insightful post. I’ll just add a couple of observations of my own, especially on the incontinence front. I decided to go 24/7 some 6/7 years ago and like you I loved it. I felt oddly fulfilled. It was the culmination of over 40 years of desires/needs/wants to be in nappies, which caused turmoil in my poor adult brain. I have always had a small bladder and it never grew, so nappies were the rationalisation. I have been a bedwetter almost all my life so that never phased me. Fast forward to prostate operation and compulsory incontinence. Pre op, I did have some control albeit with urgency, post op, none. I now have to plan how long one nappy will last, will it be discrete, will it be seen and do I care, which is the most comfortable especially when wet? What to do at the beach? My point is, it’s different, there is no longer any option, no going back. Do I mind, no, not really, it’s now just down to better planning.

Thank you Oznl, I have been trying to evaluate what to wear and when, which will hold most and which falls apart the quickest. Decisions decisions! I do like the pull-ups but the interminable problem of having to take off the shoes and trousers for a change is hard. I travel with a spare pull-up and a Tena ‘ultima’ just in case I am confined to a space where a semi-disrobing is not possible. The only trouble with the Rearz is that they are very thick, but as I shall soon be on a 26 hour flight from Lhr to Akl, via HK, it might work well under a more roomy trouser! I have time to learn. On the prostate thing, just get it checked. A PSA might not be seen as accurate, but if you have it done regularly you will have ‘bench-mark’ from which to work. You are probably right about a TURP being more desirable than prostate removal, but they are very different things, neither desirable!!! Right now to find some Better-drys’. Thanks Greybird Hi Cruiser, It does sound good I shall give it a try. I have the ‘stick-on’ pads you suggest so .... watch this space. Ha! Pull my penis off, there is not much left of it after this operation, definitely no ‘spunk on the ceiling’ though, sadly. It’s weird though, whilst I cannot get an erection (yet) I can orgasm, it’s just dry and ... different, but still pleasurable. Thanks Greybird

Hi Oznl, We have had many cleaners over the years and all have had the nappy display to deal with and most have been positive. My wife had a high powered job in London city so I organised the domestics. I have been changed by two of our cleaners and one, who was a great seamstress, made me some nappies. If I felt like it I used to walk around the house in t-shirt and nappy with plastic pants and only had one who was uncomfortable with it, so I covered up and hid the nappies, but with all the others I told them I needed nappies and they were fine. I never pushed the subject, rather just left the evidence (clean always) lying around. With one I discovered she had cleaned out a wardrobe and reorganised the nappies and plastic pants and on another occasion, when I was working from home, I went into the kitchen to find the lovely lady emptying the washing machine and shaking out the plastic pants. There was one who would bring her daughter in holiday time and I would cover up and there would be no evidence of the nappies, respect always. They ranged in age from 30s to 60s. People are much more broad-minded than we give them credit for, cleaners, like hotel staff, see stuff!!! For most it is all just part of looking into other peoples lives, temporarily.

The way you describe it sound painfull!!!! But I have aTens machine and I’ll try it, thank you, Cruiser It’s a bit of a conundrum! There is a big difference between choice and reality, but I am enjoying it, so I might well take my time over the exercise regime. On another note, Oznl, i learned today that Better-drys are the same as Rearz or was it Crinklz, do you find that they ‘fall apart’ if you wear them whilst doing moderate exercise? I find the wadding just disintegrates and becomes uncomfortable after three/four hours, especially when wet. Would you let me know. Thanks

Definitely, I know my father wet the bed in his youth, but I don’t know to what age. I did not have a dry night until I was 12. I think he was sympathetic if a bit frustrated! I hated the wet beds after nappies were taken away, and at 9/10 asked my mother for nappies. She turned me down, buy then I was a fully qualified abdl!

Not at all, firstly, I am alive! Prostate cancer kills huge numbers of men. Secondly, I am in nappies and no longer need to hide them, thirdly, I am 70 and don’t want to father any children. So the onlydown side is trying to ‘rehabilitate’ my manhood into providing some pleasure again.

Could not agree more, I hated the cold wet bed at 3.00 in the morning, which went on for years. I asked my mother for nappies at 10 years old but was turned down. Boarding school was not easy although the wetting slowed to once a week, the school were very understanding and I shared a dorm with 5 other bedwetters. I put myself back in night time nappies at 20 (dating was not easy) and 24/7 at 64. So much happier now even without my prostate!

Now that I have no prostate it feels like I want to pee all the time, instead I just drip when standing, but getting up from sitting it just floods, lovely!

I’m going through a big change from needing nappies for my psyche, to having to wear nappies because I am now incontinent after my prostatectomy. The good news is that all my friends know that I have had this operation and know that one of the consequences is incontinence, so when I turn up with my nappy-bag everybody will probably be very embarrassed but me for whom it will be perfectly normal! I have to say that the day I gave up the binge/purge and just resigned myself to wearing nappies was a great day. I found it exhausting worrying about wether I would get habituated and would nappies loose their attraction/feeling, yes, it is different but I have never lost my feeling for nappies even now that I have to wear them. They still feel great.

As long as they find nothing that's good. Have they done MRI scans/biopsies? But I understant your concern. On the robotics, I have heard good things about it. I think my surgeon is going to do the open surgery style, which he says is just as good (he has to cut less!) and recoveryis the same. I'll tell you in a few weeks. Not sure about the cycling! Those seats look like they will damage everything down there!!!