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nitewets

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About nitewets

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    Infant
  • Birthday 08/02/1953

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    Female
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    London, ON
  • Real Age
    64

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  • Diapers
    Adult Baby
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    Trans MtF
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  1. Hiya Nitewets, I enjoyed meeting with you the other night and chatting too! Hopefully you feel better so we can connect again soon, I'll try my best to be online later, do take care. *Hugs close*

  2. Well, I went a few days without diapers, again, but over the weekend I had a small accident in public. Was out for brunch at a restaurant, and feeling I needed to go, I excused myself and headed to the loo. It wasn’t far—a small restaurant and fortunately almost empty—just across the room and down a short corridor. I thought I was holding and then realized I had started to wet myself. I wasn’t wearing a diaper, nor had I brought one with me—I hadn’t even brought any sanitary pads. The best I could do was try to press out the wet out of my panties and the crotch of my leggings with toilet paper as best I could and then pull down my sweater to hide my wet crotch until we left.

    There’s a big difference between enjoying wetting in public and the special feeling of security being in a diaper brings me, and becoming incontinent. I know this and I worry but not, it seems, enough to stop wearing diapers.

    i finally took the forms in to my doctor and admitted to wearing diapers for pleasure and increasingly need. He is obviously concerned about my increasing  incontinence and has signed off on enough diapers through healthcare to wear diapers 24/7 (5 daytime diapers and an overnight diaper). I said I didn’t really need that but he wasn’t at all confident that I could resist wearing diapers entirely—which was his recommendation—so he said I should be prepared for incontinence. I went home after the appointment and went to bed because I didn’t know if I was happy or scared to death. 

    So, here I am back in a diaper—wet because when I’m in diapers because I barely have any resistance to the need to pee—writing this to anyone who reads it and to my future self, for that future time when I want to go back and understand why allowed mysel, or choose, to become incontinent.

     

    1. Wannatripbaby

      Wannatripbaby

      I'm sorry to hear that your stressed out. I wish there was something I could say to help you feel better. Just know that I'm here for you if you want to talk. You're a wonderful girl, Nitewets. Being incontinent won't change that. Your friends & family will still love you. And really, what else matters next to that?

    2. nitewets

      nitewets

      What a wonderful person you are. Thank you for your very kind words. I’ve changed into a fresh overnight diaper and plastic panties, so I will have a nice sleep tonight.

  3. Thanks. I revised the wording to remove the implication of stopping on the highway itself. It was never my intention to become incontinent. You will see from what I’ve written elsewhere that I’ve been struggling emotionally with my present situation and where it seems to be leading.
  4. Going 24x7, at least for a little while

    Hi. We haven't met yet, but I would like to. I read your post above and it resonated with me. My experience is kind of the same. Notwitstanding that I've been wearing diapers on and off—and mostly on—for twenty years now, I'm still conflicted about how much I enjoy wearing diapers, wetting (and pooping—sorry if that's icky for you) my diapers. It's nice to find another woman here and one nearer my age than the young teen or early twenties girls. I took from the reference to business trips that you're an executive or sales professional; I'm retired but was an executive. (I always thought that my secretary suspected that I wore diapers. I never did ask her.) I used to do a lot of travelling by car for business and most of the trips would be minimum 4-6 hours in the car. Never used to stop for pee breaks because it slowed me down—I'm surprised I didn't get more tickets, but what I did get is overflow incontinence. Thats where your bladder doesn't fully empty so after you've had a pee and you relax you wet yourself. That plus a few other things got me into diapers and all of a sudden I realized that I LOVED being in diapers and wetting myself. I wear diapers nearly 24/7 now and nearly always at night. I haven't lost the sensation that I'm about to pee but more and more often I'm too late trying to stop it happening. Sometimes I can get by with a sanitary pad and by staying away from coffee and Pop during the day. Anyway, here I am prattling away to you like a close friend. Along the lines of: "Well other than THAT, Mrs Lincoln did you enjoy the play?", I'm outwardly a really conservative (but not in the political sense given what's happening in the US) normal, ordinary person. Well THAT and I'm trans. But besides those things, I'm... ordinary. Would love to chat sometime... if you're so inclined.
  5. Training Yourself to Wet in Your Diaper I have noticed a recurring theme on this website about training yourself to wet in a diaper. I have read some of the strategies and some comments about the strategies which seem to suggest that they haven’t worked. I'd like to suggest a strategy that I believe will work. I'm not sure that it will work, but it replicates my experience in which I have become very nearly incontinent. I'm going to break this down into four sections. The first section contains the strategy that I propose. This is the how-to section. The second section contains my comments on why it should work or at least why I believe that my strategy will work and the drink-until-you-pee doesn’t work. This also contains my thoughts on why it’s so hard to develop the habit of wetting in a diaper in the first place. The third section contains some cautions. The fourth section is a bit of my personal history about becoming marginally incontinent, how it happened and where I am now. I suppose it’s sort of proof of concept, if I can use that term. The reason that I’ve divided this into four sections is so that you only have to read as much as you want to give this strategy try. So, for example, if you’re the impatient type and just want to give this a try, you really don't have to read further than the first section and you're on your way. If you're curious about why it's so hard to wet in a diaper, want a layman’s explanation, and want to have that in mind before you judge the strategy proposing, you can start at the second section. If you're worried about what might happen if you try the strategy and actually works (which is perfectly reasonable if not highly recommended), then you can start at the third section. Finally, if you’re a skeptic (which you should be) and need some explanation as to why this strategy might work, you can start at the fourth section. If you find that credible, then you can read on. Before you try what I’m proposing, please know that I’m not making any promises, nor am I making any claims about how quickly, or successfully you will learn to wet. If it does work, cool. If it doesn't work, please don't send me angry missives about bullsh*tting you, or criticize me—I’m just throwing this out there—for information only. Also, the risks are entirely your own. I’m not a doctor; I’m just another diaper lover who comes to this website to explore my love of diapers. This is for information only. I’m not recommending that you try this. The Strategy Obviously, you need to be diapered (but maybe not, I don’t judge) and feeling relaxed about wetting yourself if it happens. That means that you can’t be worried about your diaper leaking, or someone seeing and embarrassing you or being in any situation that gives you concern about wetting yourself. So, arrange your situation so that all you have to concern yourself with is naturally wetting yourself. You need to have a ‘full’ bladder or be in a circumstance where you are feeling the urge to pee. The objective is to be feeling the need to pee. You don’t have to be desperately struggling to hold your urine but you at least need sufficient urge to pee if you relax your bladder sphincter. Again, not a doctor, so if I get the anatomy a bit wrong, allow me some license. When you feel the urge to pee, find the position—whether you have to stand or sit or lie down—in which it is easiest for you to be relaxed to pee. When you feel the need to pee, even if it is only slight, relax and let your bladder start to void (that’s medicalese for let yourself pee)(or maybe it isn’t, what do I know). Now, here is the counter-intuitive step that I think will make all the difference. As soon as you start wetting—stop yourself. Hold back your pee. Yes, that’s right. Only pee a small amount. There are two reasons. First, you don’t want to flood your diaper and risk an accident which—no matter how hard are you trying not to worry—is a natural fear that you’ve acquired through potty-trained not to happen. Second, and more importantly, if you fully relieve yourself, you’ve got to drink litres (that’s gallons for our American viewers) of liquid again, AND you’ve got to wait until you feel the need to pee again. What we’re after is a repetition of wettings and a constant feeling of having to pee. You’re diaper won’t be flooded and you won’t need to change yet. And, you’ve still got a full bladder and hopefully in a few minutes, the urge to pee will return. Drink just enough to ‘top up’ your bladder. Wait for the next urge to pee and repeat. Keep going until you need to change your diaper or until you start to worry about leaks or anything that might distract you. Why It Should Work Most of us pee infrequently during the day so a full bladder and feeling the urge to pee is infrequent and unusual. When we feel the urge to pee we usually respond automatically (Hmm, I need to pee!) and we go the toilet. The clench reaction is autonomous (you don’t have to think about it) and that’s the reflex you’re trying to break That’s potty-training. The idea here is to get you used to having a full bladder and feeling the urge to pee—all the time. You’re desensitizing yourself to the cue so that over time, you’re less and less likely to notice it because it isn’t unusual any more. That is why I suggest that you only void a small amount, so there is only a short time before the urge to pee returns. Having to pee becomes the steady state that you’re in. You are always holding your bladder—not dance around the room desperately needing to go—consciously trying NOT to pee. At some point—and this will happen if you keep yourself distracted from the urge of having to pee—you will inadvertently relax and you will pee. Spontaneously. The natural reaction will be to clench but you will already have peed a little. That is what you want to have happen over and over and over. There is something else that is happening when you do this. Your bladder has a resting shape and volume. The urge to pee comes from a distended (stretched) bladder. When you void, the muscles pull to return the bladder to its empty size and volume. Holding your urine stretches the bladder and overtime it becomes stretched or conditioned to accept being stretched. When you relax to void, your bladder will not fully empty. This is a medical condition and basically isn’t good. That’s why you’re told that you should go to the toilet as soon as the urge to pee is felt. With an empty bladder your bladder sphincter can relax and does so naturally. If when it does, there is still urine in your bladder, you’re likely to wet yourself. What you are doing is allowing your body’s natural functioning to work for you to let you wet yourself. You will always—I believe sense that you’re about to wet yourself. There just won’t be the natural reaction to immediately hold, nor will it be difficult to relax It then becomes a matter of of just allowing yourself to wet in your diaper. Also, because the feeling will come sooner, you’ll pee a smaller amount and be less likely over time to tense up. You’re probably going to have to do this for some period of time. From personal experience, though, it’s definitely not going take more than a few months—if that. Once you’ve become accustomed to wetting in your diaper you can stop. You’ll have conditioned yourself to accept wetting into a diaper, or heaven forbid, your panties or underpants. Again, this is all speculative. I’m not suggesting you try this, I’m just sayin’… Some Cautions Realize that by training yourself to wet in a diaper, you’re undoing nature’s—and your mother’s—work. You are desensitizing your body to its natural control over your bladder. Over time there is the possibility of overflow incontinence1 because you are intentionally keeping your bladder in a distended state. Your bladder will no longer be able to fully empty. In the extreme—and this is where my experience comes in—it will become very hard NOT to wet your diaper. My Personal History For three years back in 1996, I was a sales representative and travelled extensively—three weeks each month—by car. I would finish a day at the office and drive from Buffalo to different cities in the Northeast. Most trips would take 6 to 8 hours, less if I went fast and didn’t stop until I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO. So, I didn’t. This went on for months and months. Over time, and I seem to recall that it was much less than a year, I found that even with stops to pee I was always feeling the need to pee. Not much longer after that, I was feeling the need to pee before I’d gone a few minutes down the highway, then before I’d even left the parking lot. Finally, driving late one night, well between any rest stops, I realized that I was wetting myself. Cloth seats, too. Not a pretty sight. There’s much more to the story which I’ve recounted elsewhere and spoken to members here, but suffice to say, I bought some diapers the next day—quite on impulse and with no small amount of embarrassment—and began wearing diapers during my drives. Soon, I was wearing diapers as often as possible and soon graduated to letting myself poop in them as well. I did go to a doctor when wetting myself became alarming (on the rational practical side, not on the pleasure side). I was tested and found to have overflow incontinence. The doctor hearing my story as to how this had happened was fiercely annoyed and said: “Stop it. The MOMENT you feel the need to pee, find a rest stop and go. If this goes on, you’ll be incontinent.” I sort of considered that allowing myself to wet in my diapers would be just the thing. It wasn’t. If I don’t wear a diaper during the day, I usually wear a sanitary pad—not unusual for a woman. My sense of having to pee has been slipping in the last while; I have already started to wet before I realize that I am and can stop it. I am not fully incontinent, I do have bladder control—it’s just that my timing can be off. Similarly, if I wear diapers to bed, I am very relaxed and secure. During the night the urge to pee barely wakes me and frequently, knowing I am diapered, I will just relax and wet my diaper. It has been rather alarming recently to wake in the morning in a wet diaper with no recollection that I needed to pee during the night. Either I didn’t wake enough to remember and intentionally allowed myself to wet, or—and to some degree this is worrying—I have made myself a bedwetter. The implication of this is that I’m now very leery of sleeping without a diaper and terrified to sleep over anywhere without diapers and plastic panties. 1. Overflow incontinence is a steady or frequent dribble of urine because the bladder doesn't empty completely. [It can lead to incontinence.] Incontinence is more common in people as they get older. (viz. https://www.google.ca/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=benign+urinary+retention&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&gfe_rd=cr&dcr=0&ei=JfVfWoDhJKKdXvG7nOgN)
  6. I'm LittleJess

    Hi Jess. Welcome. I’m Post-op MtF but I transitioned very late. My surgery was only 6 years ago. I transitioned 10 years ago. When I was your age (1973) transitioning was nearly unheard of. I’ve been wearing diapers since 1996. I’m very nearly incontinent now. I’ve been here on and off since 2014. Anyway, welcome. If you see me in the chat say hi.
  7. Word Association

    A positive use for a nuclear reaction The most productive lumberjack When two doctors are working together on the same patient. What an oarsman feels like at the end of a sculling race. What the waiter does if you say yes to Parmesan Cheese on your lasagna. Now go away. kmer now go away Correction to my entry. Confusion A bad use for plutonium
  8. Benefits of plastic pants?

    The biggest advantage of snaps pants is that if you have to change your diaper in a public place, or any place where undressing isn’t totally private, you can completely change your diaper without having to undress. The icky and tricky bit of public bathrooms, especially when it’s a stall where the sides don’t go to the floor is that taking off your shoes and socks (or for us, pantihose) means that you have to put something down on the floor to keep your feet and clothes clean. Balance can be the tricky bit. It’s pretty much impossible to change a pull-up diaper in a public washroom without people seeing that you’re changing your diaper. Tha’t’s also one of the disadvantages of pull-up diapers, although some have tearable sides so that you can make them a tabbed diaper when in public. Snap or pull-up, the advantage of plastic panties over your diaper is just the extra confidence that if your diaper leaks, it’s much less likely to wet your clothes. The big downside is that all the plastic pants I’ve worn get hot and clammy. That’s the perfect environment for a UTI (girls know) which isn’t fun. I do wear plastic panties over my diaper at night. I often will wet more than once during the night so, it’s nice to have the extra protection. If you’re wearing cloth diapers, then I think that plastic panties are essential. I tried cloth diapers for overnight with plastic panties but found that absorbent diapers hold urine while cloth diapers will ‘wring out’ if you roll over or move and urine will leak out the cuffs onto the bed. Also, with cloth diapers, there’s nothing to keep urine from your skin, so it feels clammy and leads to skin irritation.
  9. So, I went the months of November and December without reverting to wearing diapers. Today, I wet myself and well... long story short, here I am back in diapers and a messy diaper at that. During my 'time off' I felt so very embarrassed about my dependence on diapers. It's purely an emotional dependence; well almost purely. I can usually resist diapers for a couple of months but since the late 90s I've been wearing diapers on and off.

    I LIKE being in diapers and I feel ashamed of that. When I'm not in diapers, I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Yet, it's so frustrating that when I'm wearing diapers I'm more content, more relaxed and even more productive. I've lost the thread of the trigger that spins me back into diapers but it can be the most simple thing. Today, making lunch in the kitchen, there was the slightest urge and I simply made no effort to resist... and I wet myself. 

    There's an internal dialog that starts up, I'm not so much ashamed at that moment but annoyed with myself: "That's just naughty. If you're going to behave like a baby and wet yourself, then you're going back into diapers for the day." I changed and put on a diaper. I've stopped throwing out diapers, it's been a hard admission that even when I tell myself I won't wear diapers again, that I simply hide them in the back of the closet and deny to myself that this is an admission that, no, I can't give up wearing diapers and it's only a matter of time—regardless how ashamedI feel at the moment I hide them—that I will need to diaper myself in the future. I can't escape my dependence on diapers. 

    From the mid-summer until mid-October, I was wearing diapers every night. I had a binge purchase of cloth diapers but found that even with plastic panties, I was repeatedly wetting the bed because the panties leaked. Now, I love sleeping in diapers because I never have to worry about getting up. Trouble was, over time, I stopped waking up fully with the urge to pee; I would kind of nearly waken, relax, and then wet and fall back asleep without really waking at all. Then when I tried to stop wearing diapers at night, I was too scared that I would wet myself and couldn't sleep at all. Plus, at even the slightest feeling of having to pee I would jerk awake fearing that I was going to wet the bed. For a week, I really didn't get any sleep. And a further plus was that having awakened, I would have to force myself to get up and go the bathroom—which I really, really didn't want to have to do. 

    So, after nearly two months, I came back to talk with you here on Dailydiapers. Midday, I had a bath and changed my diaper. Late this afternoon, as always happens once I've returned to being diapered, I had a poop. And here I sit in a messy diaper, typing my thoughts. I will be diapers for the forseeable future, again. Like Pavlov's dog, once in diapers my control seems to vanish and I'm wetting myself throughout the day and once again, scared to go to bed without being diapered. Tomorrow, I'll wake up in a wet diaper. I'll have to check if I've also wet the bed and will have to wash the sheets if I have. I am again reduced to wearing diapers every day—wetting and pooping. I am both ashamed but so bound to being in diapers. I will feel better and happier my diapers whether dry and so comfy or even when wet and soiled. I will delight in the wonderful freshness and dryness of a clean diaper when I change. It is my life.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Wannatripbaby

      Wannatripbaby

      We all have our methods of coping with life's stresses. For some people they get drunk, for others they do drugs, for you it just so happens to be diapers. Which, when compared to booze & drugs, isn't all that terrible now is it?

    3. captureastronautbywomen

      captureastronautbywomen

      Hello Nitewets:

      If you  are happy wearing Diapers, who cares what people think, feel free!

      Hope you have a great day and stay diapered!

    4. nitewets

      nitewets

      Thanks for the nice comment. It’s not so much

  10. post mess cleanup

    A trick that my mother used to prevent stains in my cloth diapers (and this also works with panties) is as soon as you can after being changed, to first rinse them out as much as possible (or you're inclined to rinse) and then put them into cold water so that the stain doesn't set. Again, as soon as possible, hand wash your diaper with hand soap
  11. Pooping in private or public?

    I thought I would add a little more about exploring the pleasure of pooping when out and how to create the most pleasurable circumstance whether being the intentionally naughty child pooping to make mommy or daddy mad and thus earn a spanking or other discipline, or being the unfortunate baby not yet quite toilet trained or the unfortunate teen whose unfortunate public accident will necessitate a return to diapers. ut is really subjective. It can be wonderfully tittilating to be away from the safety of the house. I suppose it's all about the frisson1 of a public place and the perceived risk of being discovered and shamed. By being subtle and carefully staging it, pooping in public can be a wonderful fantasy come true. It should be spontaneous and beyond your control within a chosen time and place, thrilling but not so much as to trigger adult control, caution or fear. This is achieved with an enema. I plan a time and place, perhaps a walk in the park or even a visit to the store. For the latter, I choose a time when it is not too busy. Personally, it is the shame of pooping in public uncontrollably and the possibility of someone realizing that I am in diapers that makes it so exciting. As others have said, it's unfair to the public to impose my fetish on them. I use a very modest enema to trigger an uncontrollable bowel movement during the period I have planned. I use about a cup of warm soapy water. It is the soap which is a mild irritant that triggers the bowel movement. A small amount of mild shampoo, a few drops of dish detergent or a few drops of liquid hand soap are sufficient. The objective is to trigger the most natural sensation just sufficient that you cannot hold it. The water serves to lossen your stool so that it is a very soft, oozy, babylike poo which, again, makes it impossible to hold in. "Forcing out a log" is anathema to the experience I'm creating. A soapy enema will usually trigger a bowel movement within a 5 to 10 minutes. The pleasure of the experience is the subtle discomfort of an impending bowel movement while I am out. I blank my mine and envision being a little girl, too old for diapers. As I walk, it is the struggle to not poo, that becomes the challenge. My discomfort slowly builds, the struggle becomes more difficult as I try to concentrate on other things. There are the waves of pressure to void. A flush comes over me. Ultimately, inspite of my efforts, the shivers and queazy stomach, the twitches of nerves in my knees and groin, my bowels uncontrollably move and helplessly I feel creamy, soft poo fill my diaper. Soon after my bladder voids and I am left with my shame. Masking the wadddle of one in a poopy diaper, I make my way home, knowing that this is why I should be kept in diapers. ------ 1. fris-son noun a sudden strong feeling of excitement or fear; a thrill
  12. Pooping in private or public?

    I am so pleased for you. Do ask your mommy to take you out in your diapers the pleasure and excitement of truly being a little one and pooping whereever you are is delight and so wonderfully addictive. Even as I am replying to you, now, I was just outside in my front garden. I gave myself a wonderful enema with a bit extra water because sometimes our diapers leak and we become messy little babies. I wore just my diaper and bra
  13. Pooping in private or public?

    I am so pleased for you. Do ask your mommy to take you out in your diapers the pleasure and excitement of truly being a little one and pooping whereever you are is delight and so wonderfully addictive. Even as I am replying to you, now, I was just outside in my front garden. I gave myself a wonderful enema with a bit extra water because sometimes our diapers leak and we become messy little babies. I wore just my diaper and bra
  14. Pooping in private or public?

    Hi Honey. I love pooping. For me it is such a wonderful feeling especially in the early in the morning. I wake to morning sun as my bedroom window faces east. I have trees along the edge of my property and nothing beyond so the sun baths my room in a warm dabbled yellow glow. My diaper is always wet in the morning and my two cats snuggle next to me on the covers or even sometimes on my stomach and crotch. It is such a lovely warm, safe moment. Most often, as I lay there, I start to feel that twinge of my stomach and bowels, sometimes like warmth, sometimes little butterflies. For a moment, I think I should rise but the temptation is greater to just stay as I am. I stretch, relax and close my eyes snuggling deeper under the duvet. There is gentle insistent pressure from a more urgent fullness. My diaper fills with the warmth of poo. It pushes from me, between my cheeks and sometimes my legs and across my bum. As I lay on my back in gentle pleasure, I void a soft trickle and feel it tickle down between my legs. It is all sublime. In bed in the morning, I have the time and I feel secure enough that I can enjoy this special moment. Sometimes, though, I get up and take my dog for a walk. I live on a large park and have only to cross a road into the park. In the summer, I wear only a shorty tee and cutoff jeans. And my cloth diapers and plastic panties. We walk as long as Sam--that's my dog--wants to explore and together with few other people in the park, it is inevitable that the urge comes over me. At first, my stomach knots as the irrestiable temptation overtook me. I should walk briskly home, I think. But the urge, desire sets in and is now so strong, that it is easy for me to continue our walk. My stomach and bowels twinge and turn. I know I'm am flushed with embarassment but also an overwhelming desire and burning excitement. There is a jogger far off and further on some older women walking together. Step, by step, by step. Shame at my desire warms my face. There is a nearly painful tightening deep in my stomach. Soft warm poo pushes into my diaper. Then more so that my heart flips that my diaper cannot hold it. It is a delicious humiliation