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nitewets

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About nitewets

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    Infant
  • Birthday 08/02/1953

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    London, ON
  • Real Age
    64

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  • Diapers
    Adult Baby
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    Trans MtF
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    4

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  1. my little buddys

    So cute!
  2. Pooping in private or public?

    I thought I would add a little more about exploring the pleasure of pooping when out and how to create the most pleasurable circumstance whether being the intentionally naughty child pooping to make mommy or daddy mad and thus earn a spanking or other discipline, or being the unfortunate baby not yet quite toilet trained or the unfortunate teen whose unfortunate public accident will necessitate a return to diapers. ut is really subjective. It can be wonderfully tittilating to be away from the safety of the house. I suppose it's all about the frisson1 of a public place and the perceived risk of being discovered and shamed. By being subtle and carefully staging it, pooping in public can be a wonderful fantasy come true. It should be spontaneous and beyond your control within a chosen time and place, thrilling but not so much as to trigger adult control, caution or fear. This is achieved with an enema. I plan a time and place, perhaps a walk in the park or even a visit to the store. For the latter, I choose a time when it is not too busy. Personally, it is the shame of pooping in public uncontrollably and the possibility of someone realizing that I am in diapers that makes it so exciting. As others have said, it's unfair to the public to impose my fetish on them. I use a very modest enema to trigger an uncontrollable bowel movement during the period I have planned. I use about a cup of warm soapy water. It is the soap which is a mild irritant that triggers the bowel movement. A small amount of mild shampoo, a few drops of dish detergent or a few drops of liquid hand soap are sufficient. The objective is to trigger the most natural sensation just sufficient that you cannot hold it. The water serves to lossen your stool so that it is a very soft, oozy, babylike poo which, again, makes it impossible to hold in. "Forcing out a log" is anathema to the experience I'm creating. A soapy enema will usually trigger a bowel movement within a 5 to 10 minutes. The pleasure of the experience is the subtle discomfort of an impending bowel movement while I am out. I blank my mine and envision being a little girl, too old for diapers. As I walk, it is the struggle to not poo, that becomes the challenge. My discomfort slowly builds, the struggle becomes more difficult as I try to concentrate on other things. There are the waves of pressure to void. A flush comes over me. Ultimately, inspite of my efforts, the shivers and queazy stomach, the twitches of nerves in my knees and groin, my bowels uncontrollably move and helplessly I feel creamy, soft poo fill my diaper. Soon after my bladder voids and I am left with my shame. Masking the wadddle of one in a poopy diaper, I make my way home, knowing that this is why I should be kept in diapers. ------ 1. fris-son noun a sudden strong feeling of excitement or fear; a thrill
  3. Pooping in private or public?

    I am so pleased for you. Do ask your mommy to take you out in your diapers the pleasure and excitement of truly being a little one and pooping whereever you are is delight and so wonderfully addictive. Even as I am replying to you, now, I was just outside in my front garden. I gave myself a wonderful enema with a bit extra water because sometimes our diapers leak and we become messy little babies. I wore just my diaper and bra—I have to be careful that my neighbours don't see me— and did a little gardening. It wasn't very long before I just explodeed and filled my diaper and poop leaked down my legs and stained my cutoffs. I deserve no more than always being in diapers
  4. Pooping in private or public?

    I am so pleased for you. Do ask your mommy to take you out in your diapers the pleasure and excitement of truly being a little one and pooping whereever you are is delight and so wonderfully addictive. Even as I am replying to you, now, I was just outside in my front garden. I gave myself a wonderful enema with a bit extra water because sometimes our diapers leak and we become messy little babies. I wore just my diaper and bra—I have to be careful that my neighbours don't see me— and did a little gardening. It wasn't very long before I just explodeed and filled my diaper and poop leaked down my legs and stained my cutoffs. I deserve no more than always being in diapers
  5. Pooping in private or public?

    Hi Honey. I love pooping. For me it is such a wonderful feeling especially in the early in the morning. I wake to morning sun as my bedroom window faces east. I have trees along the edge of my property and nothing beyond so the sun baths my room in a warm dabbled yellow glow. My diaper is always wet in the morning and my two cats snuggle next to me on the covers or even sometimes on my stomach and crotch. It is such a lovely warm, safe moment. Most often, as I lay there, I start to feel that twinge of my stomach and bowels, sometimes like warmth, sometimes little butterflies. For a moment, I think I should rise but the temptation is greater to just stay as I am. I stretch, relax and close my eyes snuggling deeper under the duvet. There is gentle insistent pressure from a more urgent fullness. My diaper fills with the warmth of poo. It pushes from me, between my cheeks and sometimes my legs and across my bum. As I lay on my back in gentle pleasure, I void a soft trickle and feel it tickle down between my legs. It is all sublime. In bed in the morning, I have the time and I feel secure enough that I can enjoy this special moment. Sometimes, though, I get up and take my dog for a walk. I live on a large park and have only to cross a road into the park. In the summer, I wear only a shorty tee and cutoff jeans. And my cloth diapers and plastic panties. We walk as long as Sam--that's my dog--wants to explore and together with few other people in the park, it is inevitable that the urge comes over me. At first, my stomach knots as the irrestiable temptation overtook me. I should walk briskly home, I think. But the urge, desire sets in and is now so strong, that it is easy for me to continue our walk. My stomach and bowels twinge and turn. I know I'm am flushed with embarassment but also an overwhelming desire and burning excitement. There is a jogger far off and further on some older women walking together. Step, by step, by step. Shame at my desire warms my face. There is a nearly painful tightening deep in my stomach. Soft warm poo pushes into my diaper. Then more so that my heart flips that my diaper cannot hold it. It is a delicious humiliation—shame that I am in diapers, I have soiled myself and that the pleasure of it is so great. I pause and Sam looks up at me. My bowels move again and more than I think my diaper can hold pushes into my diaper. I feel the cuff of my cutoffs at my bum. My diaper hasn't leaked but turning to return home, I realize I have some distance to go. Sam is hunting down smells in the grass; tugging on his lead. He would like to go on but I tell him no, we must return home. With each step homeward I feel the weight of my diaper and how my poo oozes between my legs and up my backside. My stomach is churning as I realize a jogger is near to passing me. He smiles passing by. At home, I attend to my messy diaper. I clean myself and wash out the diaper by hand in the toilet just as my mother did for me. I run a full warm bath. I dry and diaper and know that I cannot resist this pleasure. But having to poo is unreliable. My routine is to go in the morning but there are times when I would just like to be out and poo. I am very discreet, but it is such a wonderful pleasure. My diet is very nearly vegetarian, I eat little meat and never spicy food. My poo has very little odour and is very, very soft. It is most pleasurable when you have to poo, that you cannot stop it and to create that, knowing that I'm going out—perhaps to the grocery store or a walk—I will give myself a small warm soapy enema. I say small because it is the soap (handsoap or a bit of shampoo) that stimulates your bowels. Two cups of warm water is sufficient to give you a full 'have-to-go' sensation. I have a small vaginal irrigator that I use to administer my enema. I only use it for this purpose. Within a few minutes—not very long at all—your bowels will begin to strain. Only at the beginning should you resist. Enjoy the sensation of urgency, allow it to build within you. Try to act as normal as you can. Just the other day, at the pharmacy, just as I was exchanging friendly banter with the cashier (she knows I wear diapers as I buy them there) I couldn't restrain myself. There in front of her, my bowels released and I filled my diaper. My cheeks certainly burned a bit as I had actually planned to be walking home when I pooped myself, but knowing I wouldn't leak or show, I was able check out and leave, waddling slightly as I went. There is such wonderful pleasure in pooping in public. A small warm soapy enema can be the stimulus to assure that you will poop. You won't have to strain at stool to poop which spoils the sublime pleasure of uncontrollable release. It allows you to manage where and when you go so that you can be as relaxed as possible. The fear of being a public spectacle takes from the pleasure. Perhaps at first you might even try with just a short walk down your street after administering your enema. Being in an apartment building with an elevator is tricky because it is a confined space and would be an uncomfortable ride if there were others and you had pooped yourself. And taking the stairs if its many flights while a thrilling and delicious humiliation will leave you in a very, very messy state. So, if you do enjoy pooping your diapers in bed or at home, it is possible to arrange the same special pleasure out of the house with the discreet use of a small enema. Enjoy, hon.
  6. ... continued/ off and on over the years. How easily it became a feature of my life, I've been wearind diapers for over 20 years now. Anyway, I had emotionally prepared myself to be acknowledged as diaper dependent by my one doctor but she has referred me back to my main doctor. For some reason, I was ashamed that I had asked because I struggle with my dependence on diapers and also the very real issue that when I wear diapers more, I become increasingly dependent. Anyway, I decided that it had been really silly to take the step of going to my doctor so I decided that I needed to take a break from wearing diapers. That lasted all of a few days.

    This is particularly so at night, because I've worn diapers long enough that I barely wake when I feel the urge and if I've diapered, it's just so easy to relax and wet. Consequently, I'm restless without a diaper or, like last night, even knowing I should get up, I simply wet the bed. 

    I was in to see him the other day for an update to my bloodpresssure medication and now I will be taking a diuretic which increases the frequency of peeing. I've been wrestling emotionally with having my main doctor register that I'm diaper dependent and, it seems, nervousness aside, that's what I'll be doing. 

  7. ... continued/ off and on over the years. How easily it became a feature of my life, I've been wearind diapers for over 20 years now. Anyway, I had emotionally prepared myself to be acknowledged as diaper dependent by my one doctor but she has referred me back to my main doctor. For some reason, I was ashamed that I had asked because I struggle with my dependence on diapers and also the very real issue that when I wear diapers more, I become increasingly dependent. Anyway, I decided that it had been really silly to take the step of going to my doctor so I decided that I needed to take a break from wearing diapers. That lasted all of a few days.

    This is particularly so at night, because I've worn diapers long enough that I barely wake when I feel the urge and if I've diapered, it's just so easy to relax and wet. Consequently, I'm restless without a diaper or, like last night, even knowing I should get up, I simply wet the bed. 

    I was in to see him the other day for an update to my bloodpresssure medication and now I will be taking a diuretic which increases the frequency of peeing. I've been wrestling emotionally with having my main doctor register that I'm diaper dependent and, it seems, nervousness aside, that's what I'll be doing. 

  8. ... continued/ off and on over the years. How easily it became a feature of my life, I've been wearind diapers for over 20 years now. Anyway, I had emotionally prepared myself to be acknowledged as diaper dependent by my one doctor but she has referred me back to my main doctor. For some reason, I was ashamed that I had asked because I struggle with my dependence on diapers and also the very real issue that when I wear diapers more, I become increasingly dependent. Anyway, I decided that it had been really silly to take the step of going to my doctor so I decided that I needed to take a break from wearing diapers. That lasted all of a few days.

    This is particularly so at night, because I've worn diapers long enough that I barely wake when I feel the urge and if I've diapered, it's just so easy to relax and wet. Consequently, I'm restless without a diaper or, like last night, even knowing I should get up, I simply wet the bed. 

    I was in to see him the other day for an update to my bloodpresssure medication and now I will be taking a diuretic which increases the frequency of peeing. I've been wrestling emotionally with having my main doctor register that I'm diaper dependent and, it seems, nervousness aside, that's what I'll be doing. 

  9. In  a prior status, I spoke to going to my doctor and asking to be registered as incontinent so that my diapers will be covered by health insurance.  this isn't entirely frivolous. Even though I started wearing diapers for pleasure and emotional support, over the years I've become quite dependent on diapers during times of stress. The downside of wearing disposable diapers has been the cost particularly because I am on a fixed income.   my diaper wearing has been

  10. JamieBoi

    Gosh! So handsome.
  11. Well, it's been nearly a full month in diapers. In spite of a lot of bedwetting as I sort out cloth diapers, I've been in diapers every night. My diaper use is purely an emotional dependence, when acutely stressed I revert to diaper wearing. As I'm already on disability for emotional  reasons, I finally took the step to request support for wearing diapers. I have already informed my doctor that I wear diapers for emotional reasons and she has agreed to sign off on diapers for full time wear. Each of these steps helps me reconcile a lot of shame I've always felt about the pleasure and emotional support that diapers provide. With that, and the people I've met here, I am very happy. I am however slipping toward full dependence on diapers. In that I'm scared. 

    1. babyboypat

      babyboypat

      being dependent on diapers isn't the worst thing to happen to you. It will work out diapers aren't bad. after time you will like them . hang in there baby 

       

  12. Well, it's been nearly a full month in diapers. In spite of a lot of bedwetting as I sort out cloth diapers, I've been in diapers every night. My diaper use is purely an emotional dependence, when acutely stressed I revert to diaper wearing. As I'm already on disability for emotional  reasons, I finally took the step to request support for wearing diapers. I have already informed my doctor that I wear diapers for emotional reasons and she has agreed to sign off on diapers for full time wear. Each of these steps helps me reconcile a lot of shame I've always felt about the pleasure and emotional support that diapers provide. With that, and the people I've met here, I am very happy. I am however slipping toward full dependence on diapers. In that I'm scared. 

    1. ruffledpanties

      ruffledpanties

      I am sorry for your struggles and dr decision about emotional vs physical need for padding.  Hope you get this sort d out to become the best you can be.

      diaper pats.

      Ruffle

    2. BabyWendyMarie

      BabyWendyMarie

      This sounds familiar to me. I'm borderline trans and my diaper "fetish" is due to emotional reasons as well, as, like you, I have never been a bedwetter. I do love the emotional sense I have when wearing a thick cloth baby diaper with plastic baby panties, esp. when dressed as a baby girl. Thank you for sharing your story, that took courage to be able to be so up front about it. I always enjoy hearing about what other people are going through because this is what makes the lifestyle so important to me, these important online connections. Please keep us posted, because we are listening and we do care about whatever you may wish to share about yourself. hugs!

  13. Trans and bi and dl. I'm very, very good at roleplay. Lots of fun.
  14. Hi neighbour

     

    St Thomas here

    1. nitewets

      nitewets

      Hey. Yes, we're neighbours. Was sailing in port Stanley a couple of weeks ago.

  15. Well, another day in diapers. Three diaper changes today. It really feels good not to worry about the cost of diapers having switched to plastic panties over cloth. There's still a penalty, though. I've wet the bed four nights out of six this week because my diaper/pantie combo has leaked. I had to get a protective sheet for the mattress. At least I don't wake, worrying about wetting the mattress but it is annoying having to wash the bed sheets so much.

    One of the best things about joining here is the people I've met and talked with and being able to talk about where I am emotionally with being a dl. From the conversations so far, I realize that because I'm making no effort to stop or even slow the drift toward incontinence—even though the thought of being diaper-dependent gives me a burning knot in my stomach—I'm like a moth to a flame.  

    I can feel the burning of another UTI. The discomfort causing increasingly more frequent peeing. Already this evening, I changed diapers three times. I've doubled up my flannel diapers for the night. I'm hoping this will be enough to prevent wetting the bed. Even with the A/C running, though, I'm perspiring. Here is a moment where without diapers I would be so much more comfortable and yet, even as I type that, I know that I can't and don't want to sleep without diapers. So it goes. 

    1. BabyWendyMarie

      BabyWendyMarie

      Hope that UTI you had mentioned worked itself out. Diapers or no diapers, pain is pain and I would not want to have a UTI. Are you taking zinc?

    2. nitewets

      nitewets

      Yes. Two rounds of antibiotics. Feeling much better. Thank you for caring. My doc and I agree, better to wear disposables v. cloth—reduces chance of getting UTIs. 

      Zinc? I'll have to look into that.

    3. BabyWendyMarie

      BabyWendyMarie

      Yes, please look into the zinc. It helps with my prostate, among other things. It generally boosts the immune system, so taking a good quality probiotic would be a smart move on your part. As far as the zinc, do some research because you want a form of zinc which is more "bio-available" than others, and they are available. This will give you some good researching to do. As for the diapers, I could never wear disposables, not only because they don't satisfy the emotional aspects for me, but because I don't like how they feel against my skin. I think once you get your immune system back to where it should be, you should be able to wear cloth diapers or whatever your heart desires. Good luck with that and keep us posted. And you are welcome for caring. :)