Daddy Fred

This partic. point has fascinated me for quite some time. Yes it seems irrational, contradictatory and all the other descriptive words used. I've realized very gradually that we all have a kind of "dual-personality", one we use to deal with the hum-drum everyday world, and another more primitive one where we 'enjoy ourselves'. At first I thought this dual-aspect was confined to fetish people, then on further reflection I realized it also applies to more conventional people, but in a different way. The final realization was that one's very core of personality, the person you THINK you are, your "ego" if you like, can actually transfer from one mode to the other, but at different times. A "switching" between modes if you like. So your 'primitive-personality' can be as a woman when you are physically a man ("I'm a woman trapped in a man's body"), or a baby/infant ("I want to wear a nappydiaper and wet myself") or -- "I want to be under someone else's control completely", when actually I am a senior manager and I tell other people what to do all day. Reactions welcome. Daddy Fred.

Toddler Junior didn't come across like that to me at all. The underlying feeling seemed to be "I'm fed up with being alone". Not exactly unusual with this fetish, wouldn't you say? Daddy Fred.

I really liked the posting by XyXy, it would seem he has introspected for some time to come to workable conclusions about sexuality,sex drive and choice of sexual object; it does seem to be a triumph of commonsense. For a long time I've been convinced that "sex" (meaning the activity not the gender) is Mother Nature's little trick to ensure the continuation of the species. (Ever noticed how your own thinking processes can get so distorted and biassed during arousal)? And XyXy analyses out the resulting consequences pretty well I reckon. Consequences that seem to be dominated by trouble. That one about female mentality also I have noticed, this instability I've put down to perhaps an excess of female hormones. And speaking of hormones, there are many, not just testosterone and oestrogen. E.g. andosterone also plays a part in sexuality. Opinion has it that testosterone also plays a big part in female sexuality. I still think for most people (not just the limited area of the fetishes as is the case here), the male hormone testosterone plays a major part in the sex-drive, the choice of sexual object being determined by personality factors pre-acquired usually during infancy and later. Hence the fetishes various, the one here of course being infantilism -- indicating the direct link to object choice. We need to be careful in NOT allowing our own biasses and distortions to affect our judgement of the situation in the general population. Daddy Fred.

"And it seems the only people who want to talk bout stuff like this are guys". Isn't that exactly what you are? Did you not see the irony in what you put? Daddy Fred.

Good old-fashioned bleach if they get whiffy or stained. Don't need to use it every time. Neat bleach on a stain, and watch it disappear. Then into the washer with it. Simples says the meerkat. Daddy Fred.

With all those conditions, you'll be lucky! Not really the way to acquire a soul-mate. It's all about adaptability, compromizing, accommodating. Nonetheless, hope you get who you're looking for... Daddy Fred.

It probably comes down to how much experience has the Daddy you have in mind? He will have lots most likely if he's an older Daddy. This might explain posters saying "no one under 40" or similar when advertizing for a Daddy. I'd say right from the off, tell your new Daddy everything -- that's something Daddies appreciate, partic. the kind you seek. Daddy Fred, Leeds UK.

Hi Armybloke, as you're out of the army, you need to go to a civvy doc. PDQ., and let him/her examine you fully, and you must tell all, no holding back. He/she will be able to tell you if there is something physically not right with your waterworks. So it's EITHER everything there is ok, OR it isn't. If it IS ok, then it's something psychological, no alternative. Come back to me then. Daddy Fred.

Kazakazi, the feelings you describe after orgasm are those that any and every male feels after the 'deed is done'. It's completely physical and shows up how sexual feeling ARE physical and really the result of hormones -- not implying that the psychological part (in the choice of target for your sexuality) is not important -- it is. Conventional girls don't feel the same at all after orgasm, which is less important for them anyway. A girl wants to hang around the man that's made her cumm, cuddle up close etc. "Closeness" is valuable to her, all the time. T/gurls react same as regular males. This probably explains why many t/gurls don't like to cumm during sexual activity. If s(h)e DOES cumm, the whole scenario collapses, giving him the conventional urge to "disappear into the night". It's over. My use of "t/gurl" implies no disrespect. There will exceptions to every rule to do with human sexuality, but the above is broadly true. Daddy Fred.

Interesting discussion on infant psychology Jen, and it hangs together quite nicely. If an infant wants attention, it suggests to me that he/she is not getting the attention that he/she FEELS is needed. That infant may be getting the "usual" amount of attention like other children in that family had, but for some reason extra attention is needed. Very often, children not getting the attention felt to be deserved will be "naughty" in order to get that attention quickly, even if punishment is involved. (There's that old punishment thing again). And one way to be naughty is to wet and mess him/herself. There is one thing that seems to evade explanation -- and that is "how does sex get roped in here". How does sexual objective get mixed up in all this infantile behavior? And from my researches and direct experience, there is ALWAYS a strong sexual element in all the fetishes. I will read with astronomical interest any explanation of this sexual entanglement. Daddy Fred.

Anal incontinence? Something a fetishist would like to bounce around in his/her own mind, can be very pleasurable whilst under the strong influence of hormones (I'm talking sex hormones here). But for everyday? On a grey and rainy Monday morning? Leave it out! That's not how it works. Daddy Fred.

Well, I've wondered about this one -- why we like to mess ourselves. The feeling is very erotic and sexual, both genders seem to like it. It seems to be very much a "feeling" thing, we like the feeling of full pants, undies, nappydiapers. And there is a huge concentration of nerve-endings around your bum area, especially close to the hole itself. That's only matched in willie. lips, and fingers. A lot of people here think it's to do with something about when you were a baby, and first impressions being lasting impressions. When you're only one or two, life must be all about feeding, peeing, pooping and sleeping; maybe a bit of playing and experimenting too. I think that's all it is really, because that inner child-we-were is still there and wants expression of some sort. And this is the sort. Messing yourself, enjoying the feeling. Daddy Fred. p.s. Oh, and getting your own back for all that inconvenient potty-training when all you wanted to do was mess yourself and carry on playing.

Many times I've answered this type of question, "why am I gay" "why do I have to wear women's clothes when I'm a man" "why do I like to mess myself/wear a nappydiaper etc. etc. etc". I just stopped bothering about it. No-one really wants to know. No-one is really interested in the roots of his/her fetish/orientation. People don't want to think, they want FUN! Some people are too scared to learn the truth about themselves -- it would be too disturbing for them. Others see their fetish as unimportant, a nuisance even, not to be treated seriously. Daddy Fred.

There is a state of mind halfway between waking and sleeping -- don't they call it "lucid dreaming"? But yours sounds more like an hypnotic trance. Well, if you had fun, where's the harm? Daddy Fred

If you're that kind of person, messing yourself feels just lovely, especially when you sit in it. Doesn't have to be in a nappy/diaper, feels just as good in pants/panties. Daddy Fred.

Infernus, I endorse camomile lotion, that pinky stuff with distinctive small. Sometimes it's called calamine lotion. Old-fashioned but good! I never have on a messy one more than an hour or so, but then I'm lucky with a very thick skin. Daddy Fred. xxxx.

Jason asks, "how did we become sissies"? The same kind of question is asked by gays, "why am I gay"? After a lot of years, acting the drama myself, reading up everyone and anyone's opinions, doing counselling course at local college here in Leeds, and above all wondering why I am gay but have no interest in dressing myself, but an all consuming interest in SOMEONE ELSE dressing, I have come to a few conclusions, some of them reluctantly. Every male-by-birth I've met, (and that must run to a thousand or so) whether gay or sissy, t/gurl, crossdresser, nice-boy, nancy-boy, or even dead straight -- choose your own phrase -- has in point of fact been absolutely NORMAL in physical terms. Same range of dick-size, same range of body types from weedy to athletic to muscle-Mary, same range of intelligence, memory etc. What's more, there is NO WAY that a male whether normal, fetish, gay or any other persuasion THINKS like a woman. I ought to say this twice I reckon it's so important, and to me, bleedin' obvious. Not only does she/he not think like a woman, she/he does not relate to other people in any way remotely like a woman, especially OTHER WOMEN. Right now I want to apologize to those reading who are upset by these words. I'm certain some WILL be upset, but the only way to really answer the question posed by Jason is to accept that kind of truth that is unpleasant/unpalatable, as some truths just are. After all the years of wondering, investigating, reflecting, it seems to me the answer to Jason's question lies in one's own infancy. Infancy seems to be where/at what time the roots of the swing away from the norm happened. And sexual change at one's puberty heavily re-inforces that swing away from the norm. The central component in one's personality and sexuality seems to lie with one's relationship with ONE'S MOTHER. And the absence or presence of a father is also an incontrovertible factor. But mainly, for a boy, it is the mother. The mother in these situations seems to be dominant, or domineering, or even fighting to BE dominant in the family's relationships. Under such circumstances, a little boy can come to admire his mother so much (and maybe despise his father if he is around) that he WANTS TO BE LIKE HER. So getting hold of, and dressing up in mummy's clothes to an infant boy will seem like the way to do it. Imitation, imitation, imitation. But for some boys (like me) the opposite reaction can happen, when the mother is seen as reprehensible, a trouble-causer in the case of mother fighting for dominance, NOT TO BE COPIED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. The kind of person to be avoided. How unfortunate and ironic it is then, that mother's characteristics still show years later in that very same boy! How neatly this explains my own fascination with t/gurls and why I'm gay. As usual with human nature, there are no "rules" about things like this, not all will fit the pattern, plenty reading this will think 'load of bollocks here'. There's just too many variables to give a pat, hard-and-fast, answer to the big question posed by Jason. And once again, sincere apologies to anyone upset with what could be brutal truth. Daddy Fred. p.s. I've agonized whether to just wipe this lot and not publish. But then I thought, if it helps someone to be a bit calmer, relaxed about her/his situation, then it IS worthwhile, even if it brings condemnation down upon my head.

I think I must have been an ancient roman in a previous life, because I really like small cocks; this is completely counter the usual big cock bias among gay men. In case you're wondering, mine is absolutely average at 7" excited. Daddy Fred.

Baby Smokey, your experience is classic, just as classic as her reaction to you interfering between them. The people you describe in your story do not think or emote in the usual vanilla way. They are "conflict orientated" people, to be found anywhere and everywhere. These kind of people have been conflict orientated since infancy, as is the 2y/o you mention being so orientated right now. History repeats itself. Is it sad? YES! Can the likes of us do anything about it? NO! Do we get involved? NO! Do we get someone else involved, like police? YES! -- but keep quiet about it if you're living next door, you need to protect yourself against such people. I've often though that humankind, once the thin veneer of civilization is brushed away (like by alcohol) reveals what's underneath. And that's sobering. Underneath there is the chimpanzee/ape/primate we came from not very long ago. Daddy Fred.

GBW_dl I've a feel for what you're getting at. I'd guess some 90% of people in fetish websites (I mean all the fetishes) have internal issues inside their heads that make a real event with another person well nigh impossible. Being scared of being "found out" by immediate friends/relatives, being targetted by a nut case, big swings in a d/l's feelings about the fetish internally -- are some of the issues that face a fetishist trying to get his/her fetish to make some kinda sense. How to handle it? I just don't take any of it too seriously. If a website person abruptly closes a 'chat' without giving a reason or even saying goodbye, then I give them a mental marker "not serious". I think usually it's a case simply of hormones, and when the load has been shot, all interest evaporates. WWW. has a meaning other than "world-wide-web"! I'm sure you know it! It's only when I've met a person face-to-face in real life that I begin to take them at all seriously. But thereby hangs another story.... Daddy Fred.

I've been trying to put myself 'in your shoes' PaddedHusky, trying to see things as you do. It's a dilemma isn't it? On the one hand you have to live in the real world and all its difficulties (like slim paycheques), and on the other it's so nice to just ignore it all, forget it all and go back to the warmth and comfort of a nappy/diaper. So you look for "something" from another person, but you don't quite know what, maybe someone who can 'save' you from the kind of problems you're facing and maybe help you to be in that state that seems to relieve the anxieties that keep coming over you. So just what can you do to make things easier? Not a lot it's true, but there are a few attitudes you can change, gradually, with time. What do I mean exactly by attitudes? I mean that some of the ways you're reacting to circumstance are the result of attitudes that are redundant and don't fit the way you are right now, but maybe fitted ok when you were little. As you have found out, the real world of "other people" can be pretty uncaring, and from what you say, you've not found a caring person to look after you in the ways you need. If I said to you that you have two personalities, one who deals with the world and all its warts, and a second, partially hidden personality that comes from way back when you were an infant, would you disagree? Do take a little time to consider that way of looking at yourself (not easy!). Once you can see things from a different direction, new possibilities open up for you, just because you are AWARE of them by changing your attitude/approach. By seeing your two personalities, one who deals with the real world, and a virtual one who is attached but by no means the same, you could find the anxiety states coming over you might start to subside, and the fear of being found out by your friends/colleagues can be felt for what it is - not that important. You can work out reasonable excuses for your private life such as being a touch incontinent or whatever suits. You might even discover someone who likes you BECAUSE you are seen as vulnerable by them. Not all those people would be hostile to your condition -- right? Daddy Fred.

I have XYZ -- and it's just the end... Daddy Fred.

Re. Mischa's posting, this highlights just how nasty (british sense) society is/can be, and how kids are NOT anything like little angels at all, but little b*****ds who have been spawned by adults who are just the same. It's no wonder some people try and escape into a fantasy world, be it alcohol, regression, drugs, overeating, you know the routine. "Anyone who hates kids and dawgs can't be all bad". W.C. Fields, c1935. Daddy Fred.

Question for U, Bettypoo -- what do you feel has made this current change? Daddy Fred.

You are who you are? Right as far as it goes. But a wider perspective shows "you are who you have become". And the younger you are, the more you can 'become' whomever you have the potential for. Quod erat desperandum. Daddy Fred.