Leaderboard

Chapter 47 – Baby Stages Zack awakened to sun streaming in through the window, with the full background cacophony of a busy hospital ward. He was vaguely mortified to note that he’d slept with his covers down around his knees, and his diaper visible, and he quickly palmed his pacifier from his mouth and stuffed it under his pillow, when he realized that Tommy had a girl a couple of years older than him visiting, along with his mother. She gave him a smile as he scrambled to pull his blankets up and smooth down his gown. Damned medication. A few minutes later, Brenda, the nurse from the previous day, breezed in through the door, pushing a cart that held a blood pressure cuff and thermometer and some other devices that Zack didn’t recognize. “Good morning, Zack. I won’t ask you how you slept, because I was in to check on you earlier. You were sleeping like a stone. How’s your leg feel today? Any pain?” Zack thought about it. There was virtually no feedback from his ankle this morning. He shook his head. “How is your diaper?” Zack’s cheeks flushed as he saw Tommy’s visitor cast a glance over towards them. He reached under his blanket with one hand and gave it a quick feel. It was slightly wet at the front, but felt dry at the back, with none of the telltale bulk of a diaper that was approaching its capacity. He had no recollection of having used it, but then again, he had slept pretty hard. “It’s fine.” Brenda nodded. “Let’s check your blood pressure and your temperature, then.” Zack extended an arm toward Brenda, and she put a blood pressure cuff on it, which began to inflate itself. She took a thermometer probe from a dock on the side of a monitor on her cart, and inserted it into a disposable tip, before offering it to Zack, who took it under his tongue. “Looking good, Zack. You’re going to get a visit from Phillip, our physiotherapist, a little later this morning, and he’s going to see about getting you up out of bed, so that you can move around the hospital or go down to the lobby. I’m not sure exactly what he’s going to give you, but we have some pretty cool scooters for people with broken ankles or shins. You won’t have to wear those diapers anymore if you can get around by yourself.” Zack nodded, but he knew that was a false premise. He’d still be wearing something that taped on. Kelly would see to that. Almost as though she’d sensed him thinking about her, Zack heard Kelly’s signature shoe clicking coming from the hallway, before she materialized in the doorway, in the company of a middle-aged man who was very tall, and wearing dark blue scrubs. She was carrying a paper shopping bag from a sporting goods store. “Hi, Zack – this is Phil. Phil, this is Zack. Phil and I ran into each other by the nursing station. He’s going to be working on getting you on your feet.” Phil walked over to Zack’s bedside, and extended a hand, which Zack shook. Kelly put the bag down on a chair and walked over to stand beside Phil. “I was just saying to your mom that around now, we typically work on getting patients up and out of bed and going to the bathroom by themselves, but she told me that you’re going to stay in your, uh… briefs, which is fine, that’s up to her. We won’t work on transferring over to the toilet, then, just in and out of bed.” Kelly nodded. “Zack is going to stay in diapers – he’s also wearing them at home right now. We’re not going to try and tackle that here, with everything else going on, right Zack?” For the umpteenth time, Zack’s cheeks reddened, as he once again was forced to talk about his juvenile underwear with a stranger, almost before they knew his name. He nodded stiffly and glanced towards Tommy’s side of the room. “We don’t need any more stress, right? Zack will learn to appreciate his diapers,” Kelly said, as though dispensing the final word on the topic. Brenda nodded. “There’s more than enough stress around here for everyone!” She pushed her cart over to Tommy’s side of the room. Phil took a ribbon out of his pocket that Zack realized had inches and centimetres on it, and he flipped Zack’s blanket over to the side, so that he could measure from the foot to the knee on his undamaged leg. “We’ll get you up and about in no time. Give me about a half hour to set something up for you, and I’ll be back.” Phil turned and walked away, leaving Zack to pull his blanket back over himself. He wished his diaper had no print on it, or at least something slightly more neutral than flowers and butterflies. Right about now, he’d have taken the Mighty Diggers or even the Little Lambs. He recalled back to the diapers he’d been given in the ER – they looked the same as these, but had balloons on them. He wondered if they were also made by Baby Stages. He shrugged. It didn’t matter, in the end. A diaper was a diaper. Even if it had a holster and a working gun, he still wouldn’t want to be seen in one by a bunch of people he didn’t know. Tall, grey-haired Phil returned in about 20 minutes with a contraption that did, indeed look like a scooter, much the same as the one that the blond girl (Yana? Bella?) had had. It was equipped with four small wheels, handlebars, and a basket on the front. Its frame was dark blue, and the padded leg rest was black. He pushed Zack’s tray table away from the bed and positioned the scooter so that it was up against the mattress and perpendicular to it. With some reluctance, Zack pushed his blankets off to the side. Stupid Baby Stages… He did his best to keep his gown over his diaper as he swung his feet over the edge of the bed. Phil placed a hand under Zack’s arm and steadied him as he stood on his good foot, and put the knee of his damaged leg down onto the cushion. Phil adjusted the cushion under his casted leg, and then Zack took a couple of hesitant steps forward, supporting himself with the scooter. It rolled easily, and steering it was intuitive. “How’s that?” Phil asked expectantly. Zack had to admit that, although he was self-conscious about how visible his diaper might be in his gown if he was going to be scooting around the floor, nevertheless, it felt good to be up and out of bed. He took a couple of cautious strides around the room, letting the scooter take the bulk of his weight. “Now, listen, don’t go anywhere near any stairs or escalators on that thing – it’s elevators only. And you need to be careful on inclines or hills that it doesn’t get away from you. Remember to use the brakes if you need them, like on a bike.” Zack gave the brake lever on the scooter a test pull. It did indeed work just like the brake levers on his bicycle. Tommy, who was watching from the next bed, gave him a thumbs up. “Cool,” he said. Tommy’s friend gave him a quick smile and turned away. Kelly walked towards the chair and picked up the bag she’d come in with. “Zaaaack…” she said in a singsong voice. “I have something for you…” She reached into the bag and withdrew a folded grey square of material, which she shook out, revealing a Seattle Mariners t-shirt. “I got you this over at the mall last night,” she said. “I figured if you were going to be exploring the hospital, you might not want to have to wear a hospital gown that opens in the back. I got you a medium, rather than a small, so that it would be a little longer. Let’s try it on you.” She reached around Zack and untied the strings on the top and middle of his gown, and then pulled it over his arms and tossed it on his bed before he had time to react. Next, she tried to pull the tags off of the t-shirt she’d bought, but one of them was on a sturdy plastic loop with an antitheft tag, that wouldn’t yield to her efforts. “Let me just run over to the nursing station and borrow the scissors…” Kelly said, as she turned and dashed out. Zack stood, awkwardly perched on his scooter in his diaper, and looked longingly at the discarded gown lying crumpled on his bed, feeling cool air from a vent on the ceiling wash over his shoulders. Unconsciously, his hand went to the tabs on his diaper, and he gave them a press. He fixed his eyes on his scooter. Phil checked the torque on the wheel nuts, then gave him a nod and headed out. A moment later, Angela came walking through the door, carrying chocolate milk cartons for Tommy and his guest. She gave Zack a smile. Zack blushed and raised a hand in a half-wave. Tommy’s young female visitor looked at Zack briefly, and then looked away in a studied fashion. I might as well be standing here naked. He crossed his arms and bit his lower lip. “Zack, did you want some chocolate milk as well? I should have thought of bringing you one.” Zack was about to reply when Kelly came walking through the door with the t-shirt, and she answered for him. “Zack is going to go get his own chocolate milk on his nifty scooter, right Zack?” Zack raised his eyebrows and gave a slight nod. “Hands up!” Kelly exclaimed, and then pulled the t-shirt down over Zack’s head. She knelt down and tugged the hem of it down until it stretched to the top of his thighs. “There you go, that’ll work, don’t you think?” She gave the rear of his diaper a light tap with her hand. As was the case with most of Kelly’s questions, Zack concluded she wasn’t actually looking for an answer. He wheeled his scooter over to the bathroom and pushed the door open. Over the sink was a large mirror that was hung canted slightly forward, probably to aid people in wheelchairs, Zack guessed. The angled mirror allowed him to see most of himself from his position a few feet away. From the front, his diaper was now almost entirely concealed, although he wasn’t sure if the shirt wouldn’t start riding up with the motions of his good leg as he pushed the scooter along. Turning the handlebars away from the doorway, he moved slightly forward and then looked over his shoulder to see how he looked from behind. There, the t-shirt was less of a success, revealing the puffy triangular lower quarter or so of the seat of his diaper. At least the shirt isn’t split up the back, and it can’t accidentally come undone… Zack shuddered and wheeled himself back toward his bed. “Come on, Zack, let’s get out there and explore a bit! You’ve been on that bed on your back for a couple of days now.” Kelly stood up and placed a hand on the handlebars of his scooter, giving it a push and steering it back towards the door. Zack was forced to keep up with it. “I’ve got it, Kel.” He placed his hands on the grips and strode decisively forward. He was not going to be dragged along through the halls like a reluctant preschooler on a tricycle. Turning out into the hallway, Zack took in the bustle and activity from a different perspective. Previously, he’d always been lying down. Lying down in a busy hallway might be a common enough occurrence in hospitals, but, it did feel a bit weird, he thought. Nowhere else do you do that. Kelly placed a hand on his back and gave him a gentle nudge, so he rolled forward again, while at the same time unconsciously reaching back and tugging his new shirt down with one hand while he steered with the other. As they went up the brightly lit hallway, past the nursing station, Nurse Brenda smiled from behind the desk. “It’s great to see you up and about, Zack! Go get some exercise. Come back and see me in an hour or so and I’ll check your vitals.” Kelly nodded. “We’ll go look around for a bit and come back before lunch, for Zack’s meds.” Zack looked into the open doors of the rooms as he rolled past them. Inside, there were kids of all ages, some sitting with their parents, some playing video games. Some beds were empty but showed signs of having been occupied, with the remains of drinks and food trays on tables. Further down the hall, there was a little Asian girl sitting in a wheelchair, hooked up to an IV. She waved at Zack as he scooted by, and he smiled back at her. “Hi, sweetie, how are you?” Kelly asked as they passed. I’m sure she’s doing just awesome… Zack didn’t express his thoughts out loud, however. Kelly hit a green button on the wall at the end of the hall, and one of two large doors powered open, revealing an elevator lobby and a hallway lined with windows that stretched off into the distance. She walked over and punched the down button as Zack scooted up behind her. “Let’s go down to the lobby and get something from the coffee shop,” she said. The stainless-steel doors opened a moment later, revealing a boy a bit older than Zack and an older lady, presumably his mother, inside. He gave Zack a nod, but then his eyes widened, as they entered the mirrored interior. Zack was presented with three floor-to-ceiling views of himself, two of which featured the lower portion of the back of his diaper. His hand reached for the hem of his shirt again. When the elevators doors opened in the lobby, Zack briefly considered not getting out. The ground floor of the hospital looked about as busy as a mall at Christmas, and with about as many children present, as well. Babies and toddlers and schoolkids and teens made their way back and forth from every direction. Despite the experiences he’d had so far, he felt unprepared to enter the throng without pants on, but Kelly’s hand on his lower back forced him to proceed. “Kelly,” he whispered, “can I go put some shorts on or something?” “I don’t have anything with me, little man, and anyway, it would be hard to get them on over your cast, and they’d just have to come off again as soon as you need your bum changed. I was going to tell you this later, as a bit of a surprise, but, I ordered you a romper from Mr. Burke at the pharmacy that has snaps up the legs. He’s couriering it to my hotel, so we may have it as early as tomorrow. But in the meantime, this is a children’s hospital, buddy – I bet you half these kids have diapers on, you just don’t know it.” Yeah, because they also have clothes on. Zack looked around, and highly doubted Kelly’s calculus. Most of the kids looked completely normal. A few here and there were in wheelchairs or big strollers, or walking using mobility aids, but most of them seemed pretty healthy. Maybe up on the ward, what she said was more applicable. As they joined the milling multitudes, Zack felt more than saw the occasional head pivot towards him. Some of the glances were drawn by his scooter and the large black air cast supported on it, but, he felt certain that his diaper was provoking a lot of involuntary second glances. As if in response to being on stage, he felt his bladder clench, and then a warmth began to radiate from below. It stopped quickly, and Zack resisted the urge to perform a tactile check, instead opting to again pull his shirt down at the back, for what it was worth. Eventually, they arrived at a coffee shop with a couple of people in line ahead of them. “How do you like your shirt?” Kelly asked, as she pulled her wallet out of her purse. Zack thought about the question. He liked the Mariners, and, it felt like a well-made shirt. He was surprised that she’d gone to the trouble to get it for him. But, at the same time, it could have been made by Gucci, and he’d still have wished he had something else to wear. “I wish it was longer,” he said simply. “The large size was out of stock and the XL would have looked like you were wearing a dress…” Kelly let her voice trail off, and then gave him a wink. “What do you want from the shop?” Zack looked away and studied the menu items. They seemed to offer everything. Thirty different kinds of coffee, bagels, muffins, donuts, subs, chicken sandwiches. He wondered if they had pizza, but then abandoned that thought. If they did, it probably wouldn’t be very good. “Can I get like a chocolate chip muffin, and a Coke?” Kelly shrugged. He guessed that she’d been eyeing a flaxseed organic fiber colon bullet and a green tea or something. But apparently, she was going to acquiesce. Zack idly looked around the high-ceilinged atrium they were in. It had a giant multicoloured elongated mesh dragon suspended from the ceiling dozens of feet above them. Then, he heard someone say his name behind him, in a vaguely familiar, youngish female voice.

Before I start on the story, I'd like to thank Willnotwill for his writing contest. It was just the challenge I needed to get back to writing new stories. And with that out of the way boys and girls, are you ready for a story? As with my other stories, this series has an entry on my index post. ----------------------------------- Going back to school Maggie wiped the fog from the bathroom mirror and stared at her own reflection. She sighed. Despite looking like she was in her late 20s she felt several decades older. At least things should be going back to something more normal now. The last four years had just been insane and ridiculous. The covid lockdowns had been problematic enough, but the preceding years had been weirder and more chaotic than a retconned comic book series written by a schizophrenic writer on at least three different hallucinogens. It had literally felt like history had been continuously rewriting itself. The pandemic shutdown had cost Maggie her retail job, but it had also shrunk Maggie's everyday world to a more manageable size and let her, for lack of a better word, tidy up her life. After having worked full-time for almost three years, she had decided to go back to university to finish her degree. And today was the first day of school. Maggie left the bathroom and walked down the hallway to her bedroom. "Okay. What to wear? What to wear?" she said to the empty room while looking in her closet. She had to admit that after having worn sweatpants and tank tops almost every day for the last five months, it felt strange knowing she would be wearing 'proper clothes' for the whole day and not just for an hour or two to get groceries. Maggie settled on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, and quickly dressed. She grabbed her backpack and phone from the kitchen table and headed out. Jellybean, her tiny, green car, waited for her barely the legal distance from the fire hydrant right outside her door. The car had been part of a weird inheritance a few years earlier, along with a house in the middle of nowhere outside the city. During the lockdown, she had managed to sell it to someone who really wanted to socially distance and had bought her tiny apartment. But she hadn't had the heart to sell the car. "Hi there Jellybean," Maggie whispered as she leaned close to unlock the door. "Ready to go back to school?" ~~~ Maggie was early enough that she didn't have any trouble finding a parking spot. Walking across the parking lot to the lecture hall felt like stepping back in time. For a few moments, Maggie imagined that the last few years hadn't happened. Her on-again-off-again boyfriend Christopher would be somewhere just around a corner, ready to shoot the breeze or have those long, deep conversations about unimportant things like how hot the psychology professor was. But Christopher had graduated and moved halfway across the country for a job. The thought that she probably wouldn't see a single familiar face among the students, brought Maggie crashing back to the present. Maybe I should have gone to some of those get-to-know-each-other things last week. Maggie checked her class schedule. She still had almost two hours until her first lecture. I really need to get used to no longer living an hour's drive from anywhere. Maggie found a bench outside and just leaned back, letting the sun warm her. It was still early enough that the campus was fairly quiet. Being able to just bask in the sun was one of the things she missed about her old house. Sure, it had been draughty and isolated and the plumbing and power had been problematic, but tiny garden had been wonderful in the summer. And being as isolated as it had been, Maggie had felt free to walk around the house wearing whatever she wanted. And that had included diapers. Almost a decade earlier, Maggie had told her girlfriend at the time, Susan, that she liked wearing diapers when she was feeling stressed, and Susan had been OK with it. She had never felt like she needed to actually use them or anything; they had just been something she used like a kind of security blanket. It was always the padding itself that made her feel safe. Up until a few years ago, she had only used folded towels as diapers, but after going through some stuff that she still didn't like to think about, she had actually needed diapers at night. Thankfully it hadn't lasted very long, but the whole episode had proved to Maggie that she didn't mind wetting herself, provided she had a diaper she was sure wouldn't leak. She still mostly used cloth diapers, saving her disposable ones for when she was planning on using them. And she never wore either in public; only in private. Of course, having spent half a year in either official lockdown or what might as well be lockdown, she had used diapers a lot more the last months. The only other person who knew that Maggie liked to wear diapers, was her best friend, Anita. Apparently she had told her one night when they had been drinking like fishes. Maggie couldn't remember doing it, but she did remember Anita coming over to check on her when she had had a raging fever and finding her on the sofa wearing nothing but a diaper. And then, as if that hadn't been bad enough, she had wet herself by accident. It had been the most embarrassing moment in Maggie's life, even if Anita had taken it quite well. Despite Maggie's fever fantasies, Anita had made sure she had some proper food and been the perfect 'mother', short of changing Maggie's diapers. That, she had said, would have been taking things too far. Maggie sipped her water bottle and stretched her legs. The only sounds she could hear was the buzzing and the distant conversation of a small group of students smoking outside the library building. She took another sip, hoping it would help ease the worries she had about returning to school. Maggie had to resist the urge to dig out her books and start going over the subjects she had finished years ago. She had by no means been an exemplary student, but she had done the work. For the most part. What if I can't remember any of the things from before. I'm going to look like a complete idiot if they ask me a question. One worst-case scenario after another popped into Maggie's head. Her ears filled with the rolling thunder of her racing pulse. Taking a deep breath, she balled up her fists and opened them up again; over and over. You're not stupid Maggie. You know this stuff. Just take a breath. And another one. And another one... It worked; sort of. Little by little, the quiet returned. The queasy feeling in her stomach remained though. Another couple of mouthfuls of water did nothing to help it. I knew I should have eaten something for breakfast. Time moved along at a snail's pace, but eventually it was time for the first lecture. Maggie got up and followed the crowd back inside the lecture hall. The auditorium was already pretty full, but Maggie found a seat on the second row and sat down; first row was for wannabe teacher's pets. Maggie barely had time to pull out her notebook and pencils before she walked in. The hottie professor that she and Christopher had spent almost every lecture ogling and fantasising about the last year Maggie had been a student. Well, at least that's one familiar face. Maybe this won't be completely terrible. The lecture was the usual first-lecture-of-the-year kind of lecture that Maggie had heard many times before. Professor Martin outlined what she expected from her students and gave a quick summary of what she would cover in her lectures. Then she went through all the popular misconceptions about what psychology was and wasn't. With about fifteen minutes left of the lecture, Professor Martin did something new. "Now that we've covered that, it's time to go through the circus acts. Even if a lot of medical doctors think of psychology as soft science, it is a serious topic. We will not be playing around with 'Are you a psychopath' check lists or 'how to spot a bad boyfriend' articles. Anybody want to guess what else we won't be covering?" Professor Martin leaned on the little lectern she had on her desk. "Ecstasy-therapy?" someone asked, "or microdosing?" Professor Martin smiled wryly. "Sorry to disappoint you. No drugs in class." "ESP" "Psychology, not parapsychology." Professor Martin rolled her eyes. "Lobotomies," someone in the back suggested. "You're joking, right? Of course we're not going to be covering surgery." "Hypnosis!" There were a few chuckles. "OK, that's not the dumbest thing so far. Not the comic-book mind-control stuff, of course. But hypnosis can be a valid tool in psychotherapy. We're not going to cover the therapy bit here, and actually hypnotising someone if something you can learn from half a dozen different books." Professor Martin paused and glanced at the clock above the door. "But I suppose we have time for a quick demonstration. Any volunteers?" A few hands immediately shot up, mostly in the front row, followed a couple more further back. Professor Martin looked out across the room before locking eyes with Maggie. "Second row, on the end there. How about you?" Maggie knew that if she didn't play along, the other students would just keep pushing and jeering. So she decided to give in to peer pressure. She slowly rose and walked up to the front of the room. "You look familiar," Professor Martin said. "You took my class a couple of years ago, didn't you?" Maggie nodded. "Yeah." "I can't remember your name though." Professor Martin placed a chair next to her desk and turned it to face away from the rest of the room. "Um, Maggie. Maggie Gibson." "Okay Maggie. Why don't you have a seat here, and we'll get started." Maggie gingerly sat down on the chair as if she was afraid it was going to fall apart and she would fall on her arse. "So..." Professor Martin began. "Those of you who are expecting some kind of Vegas magic show are going to be disappointed. Maggie here is not going to be clucking like a chicken or anything like that. This is simply to demonstrate the process." There were a few disappointed groans, probably from the back rows. Maggie knew from experience why you would get a seat there. Professor Martin reached behind her neck and took off her necklace. She held it up so everyone could see it. "I don't have a gold pocket watch, but how many of you think this'll do the trick?" she asked. Maggie couldn't see how many raised their hands, but it had to be at least a few, because Professor Martin continued. "That's another cliché. You don't really need any fancy gadgets or sparkly jewellery to hypnotise someone. What you do need, however, is a willing participant. You can't really hypnotise someone against their will. After that it's all just a matter of helping them reach a state of deep relaxation." Professor Martin found a second chair and sat down facing Maggie's left side. "Are you ready to begin?" Maggie swallowed and nodded. "OK, I want you to close your eyes and imagine a lit candle. It can be any kind of candle but I want you to visualise the whole thing, not just the flame." "Uh-huh." "What does it look like?" "Short and thick. Dark blue." "That's good. Now I want you to keep the image on that candle in your mind as you open your eyes again. Almost like you can still see it in front of you." Maggie nodded. "Now keep your eyes on the flame. See how it flickers ever so slightly. Am I really watching the imaginary flame of a non-existing candle? This is just dumb. "Every time you breathe, the flame flickers a little, and your eyelids grow just a tiny bit heavier. Just a little bit. With every flicker." Maggie's eyelids did feel heavy, but that was just because she hadn't slept all that well the night before. "...so so heavy. You just let your eyes close. Just for a while. You can still see the candle. And with every flicker, your arms and legs feel a little heavier." "You can feel a little tingle starting in your fingertips and with every breath, it moves a little further up your arms, leaving them relaxed and heavy." Maggie was only halfway listening to Professor Martin. She was feeling like she was almost about to fall asleep and have a little nap. "Every breath making you more and more relaxed. You feel a tingle in your toes and moved up your legs, making them relaxed too. The candle is just bright enough for you to see where you are. It's somewhere you feel perfectly safe." Maggie could almost see her old living room slowly appear in her mind's eye; the overflowing bookshelves and the worn, but incredibly comfortable sofa. It all seemed almost real enough to touch. Maggie felt like yawning, but she just couldn't find the energy. Her entire skeleton felt like it was made of lead and everything was just so warm and cosy. Almost like she was wrapped in a warm cloud. Professor Martin's voice had become more of a background noise, a comforting white noise. I could take a quick nap and nobody would noti- Maggie was abruptly yanked out of her cosy fantasy by the short burst of the bell signalling the end of the lecture. She was about to get up when Professor Martin put a hand on her shoulder. "Just stay there for a moment," she said quietly. "Um, OK, but why-" Maggie started, But then she realised what had happened. She looked down at the wet spot on her crotch. It wasn't a lot, but it was still more than she would ever be able to hide. Maggie shrank down in the chair, covering her wetness as best she could with her hands. When the room was empty, Professor Martin sat back down next to Maggie. She leaned closer and put a hand on Maggie's forearm. "Don't worry," she whispered. "It's OK." Maggie felt tears of shame welling up in her eyes. "No it's not. I've pissed myself. Right in front of everybody. That's not normal Professor." "It's not the first time this has happened. But the way you were sitting, I very much doubt anybody noticed." "But I can't leave looking like this!" Maggie gestured to her wet crotch. "I'm guessing you don't exactly have a change of pants in your backpack." "No. It's not like I planned on wetting myself today," Maggie replied indignantly. "No, most people don't." Professor Martin paused for a moment. "Look, can you wait here a couple of minutes alone? I'll lock the door." "I suppose. But why, Professor?" "Rachel, please. You calling me Professor Martin in this situation feels strange." "Okay Prof- I mean, Rachel." Professor Martin up and grabbed her bag. "Could you please hand me my backpack before you leave?" "Of course." As Professor Martin, Rachel, left and locked the door behind her, Maggie put the backpack on her lap, hiding her wet jeans. Time slowed to a snail's pace as Maggie listened to the empty room behind her. The ventilation sounded much louder than before, and she could hear people passing by on the other side of the door. Maggie closed her eyes. No, stay the fuck awake. Thinking about taking a nap was what got us into this situation to begin with. She opened her eyes again. The view was quite limited since there were no windows. Maggie hugged her backpack. Her mind raced with a whole new set of worst case scenarios that felt even worse than the ones she had contemplated earlier in the day. The lock clicked loudly and Maggie almost jumped out of the chair. More than anything, she wanted to hide, but that would mean getting up, which in turn would mean showing the wet spot that had surely spread across at least part of her butt. When she saw that it was Professor Martin who ducked inside and quickly locked the door again, Maggie calmed down a little. She opened her bag and pulled out a plastic-wrapped bundle that she held out to Maggie. "Here, you can borrow these." Maggie looked inside and saw a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Professor Martin nodded to a door in the corner. "You can use the supply closet to change." Maggie put her backpack down next to the chair. "Don't look, please," she said. When Professor Martin turned away, Maggie quickly got up and walked to the supply closet. The tiny room was filled with stacks of chairs, a few tables and even an old overhead projector hidden away in a corner. Maggie stepped out of her shoes and pulled down her jeans and panties. The seat of her pants had a wet spot bigger than her entire hand. Using the sink and some paper towels, Maggie cleaned herself as best she could before stepping into the fresh pants and pulling them up. She didn't like not having any underwear on, but it wasn't like she had much choice in the matter. With her shoes back on and her jeans and panties stuffed in the plastic bag, she emerged from the supply closet. Professor Martin was leaning against the edge of her desk. She looked concerned. "How are you doing?" she asked. "How do you think? I pissed myself in front of the whole class on the first day, and now I'm standing here wearing shiny purple tracksuit pants and no underwear. So I'm just peachy." Professor Martin pushed her chair towards Maggie. "Want to talk about it? "Not really." Maggie sighed and leaned on the back of the chair. Professor Martin nodded once; slowly. She didn't say anything, instead letting her silence draw the words from Maggie. "It's just..." Maggie sighed, looking for the right words. "...I don't know. Hard; or at least harder than I expected." Professor Martin stayed silent, but the concerned look on her face helped ease the knot in Maggie's stomach. "I just didn't expect it to feel so...new. I mean, I was here for two years, but now it all feels different. Everybody feels like they're so young and I can't stop worrying about remembering stuff and I feel like I'm stupid and that I should just leave here and get a job instead and-" Maggie rambled; her words tumbling out like a verbal avalanche. She finally stopped and sat down next to Professor Martin. "Maybe it's because I had Chris back then, so I wasn't really alone." "Chris; that's the curly-haired guy you always sat with in my classes, right? The one that kept staring at my butt?" "What?!?" Maggie felt a rush of embarrassment on Chris' behalf. "Oh come on, he wasn't being very discreet about it. Professor Martin gave a short chuckle. "Is that why you picked me for this? Payback for Chris ogling you?" "Not at all." Professor Martin smiled. "I saw you having your anxiety attack outside and I figured I could kill two birds with one stone. A demonstration for the other students plus helping you relax. "Mm-yeah." Maggie sighed. "Relaxed a little too much, didn't I?" They sat silently for a little while before Professor Martin addressed the elephant in the room. "Sooo, about the...accident..." She hesitated for a moment. "You said that you hadn't planned on wetting yourself today?" "Yeah?" Maggie said cautiously, unsure where Professor Martin was headed. "Do you ever plan on wetting yourself?" Maggie wanted to deny it, to be outraged, to tell Professor Martin to fuck off and mind her own business. But she didn't. Instead, she said nothing, just looking down at the floor. Again, Professor Martin let Maggie take her time to find the right words. "Sometimes," Maggie whispered. She felt like she had said it while holding her breath. Why did I say that? I've never told anyone that I do it on purpose. Even Anita thinks it was just an accident when I was sick. And Susan; I only wore diapers for the padded feeling with her. Why did I tell her? She's going to think I'm a complete freak and then she's going to flunk me and it's all my fault. Why did I say "sometimes"? Stupid, stupid stupid! But Professor Martin didn't say anything; at least not at first. She just pulled Maggie a little closer and brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face. "It's OK," she whispered. "It's OK." "Those two words of acceptance made something give way in Maggie. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and burying her face against Professor Martin's shoulder, she let them out. Professor Martin stroked Maggie's hair, just holding her and whispering soothingly. When Maggie finally lifted her head again, her mind no longer raced with worst-case scenarios. "Better?" Maggie sniffed. "Yeah, a little." "Good." "I feel so stupid." Maggie looked away again. Professor Martin put a hand under Maggie's chin and gently turned her head to face hers. Maggie had never noticed how incredibly brown her eyes were. A deep, rich, almost chocolate-y brown. "You're not stupid," Professor Martin stated firmly. "Lonely? Yes. Nervous? Probably. Depressed? Maybe. But stupid? No." Maggie sniffed again, hating how crying made her nose so runny. "OK, I guess." They sat silently for a while longer. "When you said that you sometimes wet yourself..." "Mm-yeah?" "I assume you take some kind of precautions. Like diapers or something?" "Mm-hmm." Maggie gave a little nod. "That's good. How many more lectures do you have today?" "One. Introductory philosophy." "Oh that one is just the lecturer rambling on and on the first couple of weeks. They're not going to notice you're not there today, so here's what we'll do. You're going to go home. Probably do some laundry. And tomorrow you're going to come to my office an hour before your first lecture." "Okaay?" "And you're going to wear your diapers." "What?!? Why?" "Because I'm going to hypnotise you again. To help you relax, so you don't have those anxiety attacks you had earlier." "But, but..." "But what? You don't want to?" Professor Martin sounded... disappointed? "No, I do," Maggie said quickly. "It's just... I've never worn them out in public. Only at home." "Ah, I see." Professor Martin nodded. "Well, I suppose you could bring it in your bag and put them on before we start. Would that be better?" "I guess. But Professor-" "Maggie, you can call me Rachel when we're alone." "Okay Rachel." It felt strange to Maggie to be on a first name basis with Professor Martin; with Rachel. "Why are you doing all this? I mean, I can't be the only student who is nervous about being here." "Honestly, I don't know. You sometimes have this deer-caught-in-the-headlights look that I find absolutely adorable. Now, back in '17 you were the same age as most of the other students, so it felt a little creepy for me to do anything, but I'm guessing these last three or four years have let you grow up a bit, so you have a better idea of what you might be getting into." "And what exactly might that be?" "One hour before each of my lectures, I'll help you with your anxiety. And in return, you act as my assistant." "You mean like a T.A.?" Maggie asked, seeing piles of paperwork in her mind. "No. More like being my regular demonstration model when I need to show the class something. Kind of like today, except you'll know about it in advance so we can... take precautions." "Okay?" Maggie said cautiously. "It still sounds like you're getting the better part of the deal." "If it helps, you can think of it as working on an extra credit project." Professor Martin paused. "Plus we kind of... hang out for two hours every week." Maggie looked at Professor Martin. Had she noticed that Chris hadn't been the only one checking her out? It was a tempting offer, but after the last argument, how could she accept without seeming like a teenager with a crush on her teacher. As if reading Maggie's thoughts, Professor Martin reached behind her back, taking Maggie's hand and sliding it down to her butt. Maggie's breath caught in her throat, but she didn't pull her hand away. "You were a lot more subtle than your friend Chris," Professor Martin said and smiled. "So it took me a lot longer to notice." Maggie looked away. She felt like she had been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. "Maggie? Look at me." Maggie turned back to meet Professor Martin's incredible brown eyes. "It's OK." There it was again; those two simple words that made Maggie feel accepted for exactly who she was. Looking into Professor Martin's; No, Rachel's eyes while hearing them was like floating in a pool of warm chocolate. "So what do you say?" Maggie nodded "OK, I have another lecture soon, so we're going to have to finish this tomorrow. And after that it'll be one hour before each lecture. Mondays and Thursdays. Maggie nodded again. "Oh, and you can return my pants tomorrow." Professor Martin nodded toward Maggie's legs. "Okay," Maggie whispered and nodded yet again. "Now off you go." Professor Martin gave Maggie one last hug. ~~~ Walking back to her car, Maggie's mind was reeling with what had just happened; her brain running over with new questions. What did Professor Martin mean when she said the deer-in-the-headlights look was adorable? Am I just being her test dummy or is there something more? And why did she put my hand on her butt? "Fuck Maggie! Stop overthinking and get moving," Maggie told herself. She shook her head to clear it before turning the key to start the car. Mid-day traffic was light so Maggie considered stopping by the pet store where Anita worked to talk to her about what had happened, but she decided not to. Underwear and proper pants first. Maggie parked Jellybean in her usual spot and hurried inside. She left her backpack by the door as she kicked off her shoes and hung up her jacket. Maggie's first stop was the bathroom. While tissues and a supply closet sink might technically get her clean, she wanted a shower. Hot water and soap to wash away the shame of having lost control. Why the hell did I agree to continue this whole thing tomorrow? And to wear diapers while doing it? Does she want me to lose control again? To wet myself. Do I want that? Maggie's mind raced with questions she couldn't answer as she stood in the shower. The hot water pounding down on her head and the white noise of the fan not helping her thought processes at all. She washed herself almost on autopilot, soaping up and rinsing off. When she stepped out of the shower she was nowhere closer to having any answers. Maggie briefly considered putting on a diaper, but then she remembered she had laundry that needed to be done. She gathered up the clothes from the floor and went through the laundry hamper for clothes similar to the urine-stained pants hidden in her backpack. Armed with loose change, detergent and her phone, Maggie headed for the laundromat down the street. ~~~ Maggie tried not to watch the dark blue and black bundle of clothes tumble around and around in the washing machine. It would almost be hypnotic if it wasn't for the occasional flash of purple tracksuit breaking up the pattern. She sat back and checked the timer. Forty more minutes. Maggie checked her phone for the seventh time. Just like the six previous times, there was no new messages or anything else interesting to distract her. She sighed and opened the messaging app, typing a quick message. She still needed to talk to Anita about her day. Need to talk. Wanna come over? Pizza? Maggie knew that the last line would almost ensure a positive response. She didn't have to wait long for an answer. ANITA: Sure. When? Eight-ish? ANITA: OK Now, what the hell do I tell her? An accident is one thing, but voluntarily showing up to risk another? Do I really want that? Maggie tried her best to push the questions away again, but half an hour later she left the laundromat with a bag full of damp clothes and even more doubts and insecurities than she'd had when she entered. Back in her apartment, Maggie busied herself with the minutiae of everyday life. She hung the wet laundry on the drying rack, made sure her backpack had the books she would need the next day, and made some lunch. Maggie was done with her sandwich and halfway through her second glass of ice tea when an oh-so-familiar thought bobbed back to the surface of her mind. What if the hypnosis has after-effects. I really don't need another accident today. Maggie gulped down the rest of her tea and went to her bedroom. She pulled a diaper from the bottom drawer of her dresser and unfolded it on the bed. Peeling off her jeans and underwear, Maggie sat down on the diaper, adjusting her position before lying back and pulling the diaper up between her legs. Despite all that had happened, Maggie still couldn't help but smile a little at the tissue-paper-like feel of the diaper. It was almost like the sensation sent a signal to her brain to calm down and let her body relax. She held the diaper in place with one hand while deftly taping it in place with the other. When she was happy with the fit, Maggie got up. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her diaper was peeking out from under her t-shirt. She stretched and pretended to yawn, making the t-shirt ride up, exposing more of the diaper. She had to admit that the diapers-and-t-shirt look was cute. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and wrinkled her nose at her reflection to complete the image. Maggie pushed her duvet up to the head of the bed and sat down, leaning back against the giant cushion she had created. She took a deep breath, held it for a second or two, then exhaled. It almost felt like all the tension in her body melted away; her brain finally shutting up, letting her just be. Why can't life be this simple? Maggie wasn't sure how long she lay on the bed just looking up at nothing in particular, but when her bladder began filling up, the knowledge that she was wearing her diapers easily overrode her toilet training. The slow trickle tickled its way down between her legs, eventually pooling under Maggie's butt. Maggie let out a quiet sigh and reached down to rest her hand on her diapered crotch, feeling the warm trail through the white plastic cover. She let her middle and ring finger slide back and forth over the smooth plastic. Occasionally, her skin would catch against the plastic, dragging the now softened inside of the diaper along her sensitive skin. Maggie didn't even realise that she had let out another trickle of pee. Once the diaper was wet, it was almost as if her bladder decided that it wasn't even going to try to hold back. The warm spot grew a little, prompting Maggie to rub just a little more vigorously. Another little trickle; a warm velvet hand touching Maggie in the most tantalising way. And another one. It was all a vicious circle. An exquisite, delicious vicious circle. When she reached the peak a dam burst as Maggie flooded her diaper. She surfed the wave for as long as she could before flopping back, out of breath. She kept playing with herself, more to just wind down than for any other reason. The only thing that was really missing was someone holding her. Anita would let Maggie snuggle up with her, but it would never go any further than that; and Maggie wanted more. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. By the time Maggie realised how late it was, her diaper had cooled and was beginning to itch. She rolled over on her stomach and crawled backwards off the bed. The diaper sagged heavily and Maggie wiggled her hips to adjust it. The heavy bulk between her legs made her waddle as she made her way to the bathroom to clean up. Damn! I feel like a fuckin' penguin. After her shower, Maggie quickly got dressed and headed out to pick up the pizza. Forty-five minutes later she returned with a still reasonably hot pizza, drinks and a complimentary salad that she knew would never be eaten. And as if summoned by magic, Anita showed up a few minutes later. The two girls didn't waste time and were soon stuffing their faces with cheese and ham-covered crust. "Not that I have anything against free pizza," Anita said around a mouthful, "but you said you needed to talk to me about something?" "Mm-hmm." Maggie kept chewing until she could no longer use it as an excuse to stay silent, then swallowed. "So, in psych class today..." Little by little, Anita dragged most of the story out of her. Maggie left out her thoughts about maybe wanting another accident; she figured Anita didn't really need to know that. When she was done Anita just stared at her. "So what do you think I should do?" Maggie nodded to the last piece of pizza with a raised eyebrow. "I think you should take the last piece," Anita said, "'cause I'm stuffed." "I meant about Professor Martin." Maggie grabbed the last slice. "Oh, you're going to say yes. I mean, it's obvious that you want to." "It is?" "Ooh yeah." Anita smiled smugly. "The professor you've had the hots for for years thinks you're cute and wants you to 'help out' in class? And you have to have two hour-long , one-on-one meetings with her? Yeah, you were always going to say yes." "I guess," Maggie mumbled, focusing on the half-eaten slice of pizza she was holding. "It just feels weird." "Weird?" "I pissed myself. That's not exactly the best first date." Maggie stuffed the last of the pizza into her mouth and chewed. "I don't think her picking you to demo something in class counts as a date Maggie." "Yeah, but still-" "Maggie," Anita interrupted, "I'm not going to order you to do it-" "Well, I'm not your boyfriend." "Yeah, but I still think you need to take a risk and go for it. You've been miserable since Chris moved. I honestly think you need someone in your life, and if this Professor Martin could be that person, I think it'd be good for you." Maggie sighed. "I guess you're right." "Of course I'm right. I'm always right. Just ask Max." "I think he'd agree to anything you say when you have him naked and tied up." "Probably, but that doesn't change the facts." "Yeah. Maggie sighed again. She wasn't quite sure if she had lost an argument or if she had just been told when she already knew. The next hour or so was spent bullshitting about unimportant things before Anita had to go home. Maggie would have preferred she stay longer, but Anita had reminded her that she needed to get going an hour earlier than her class schedule said if she wanted to make it to her meeting with Professor Martin. ~~~ The next morning, Maggie walked across the mostly empty campus. Just like the day before, she felt jittery and nervous. The three large cups of coffee she had had in lieu of breakfast probably contributed to the feeling, but this was an altogether different kind of nervousness. It almost felt like she was sneaking around, doing something illegal. Maggie looked around to see if anybody was watching her as she turned right towards the faculty building. God, this is so stupid. The stairs up to the third floor felt longer and steeper than they should be. The diaper hidden in her backpack felt like it weighed half a ton. Maggie's steps echoed in the empty corridor as she made her way to Professor Martin's office. She held her breath and knocked. "Come on in." Maggie cautiously opened the door and looked inside. She had expected... she wasn't sure exactly what she had expected. Something obsessively tidy; all glass and chrome and minimalist. But Professor Martin's office was the polar opposite. There were overflowing bookcases, a desk with barely any room and two full wastepaper baskets side by side next to it. It reminded Maggie of her old living room. Professor Martin looked up from behind a stack of books. "Don't just stand there. Come inside." Maggie stepped through the door and closed it behind her. She looked around for somewhere to sit down. Professor Martin walked around her desk and lifted a stack of papers off a small couch and motioned for Maggie to sit. "Why don't you have a seat?" Maggie sat down, putting her backpack on the floor between her feet. "Sooo," she began, "now what do we do?" Professor Martin pulled her chair around the desk and sat down facing Maggie. "You seem nervous Maggie." "I had a lot of coffee, so I'm a little jumpy." "Yes, but I don't think it's just the coffee, is it." Maggie looked up at Professor Martin's beautiful eyes. It almost felt like she could drown in them. "No," she whispered. "Then what is it?" Maggie hesitated. "This feels like it's wrong." She swallowed. "I mean, you're a professor and I'm a student. There's rules about that." "Yes Maggie. And if you were one of my students, I wouldn't be doing this. But you passed my class before you left, so why are you auditing?" Maggie looked down. "It's stupid," she mumbled. "That's OK. You can tell me anyway." Professor Martin put a single finger under Maggie's chin and lifted it, looking into her eyes. "I promise I won't laugh." "It's... It's like I told you yesterday. I just wanted something familiar, something from before. Chris isn't here any more, and I liked your class a lot more than the other ones." "Just my class?" Professor Martin raised an eyebrow suggestibly, making Maggie blush. "I said it was stupid," Maggie whispered. Professor Martin took Maggie's hand and held it in hers. "First of all, it's not stupid. It makes sense, in a way. We all want what's familiar. That's why we have things like comfort food, and security blankets." "Mm-hmm?" "And second, as long as you're not actually taking any of my classes, I'm pretty sure there aren't any rules that would apply to us." "Okay," Maggie said, feeling a little more at ease. "Maggie, if you don't want to do this, that's okay. We can go back to being just Maggie and Professor Martin, like we were before the lecture yesterday. Or we can try moving on to being Maggie and sometimes-Rachel. If you want that." Maggie nodded slowly. "Yeah, that'd be nice," she whispered. Professor Martin let Maggie digest her admission. "So what happens now?" Maggie said after a while. "Well, I'm going to hypnotise you again, like yesterday. Except this time we'll have time to implant a couple post-hypnotic suggestions. Nothing big; just little tricks you can use to help yourself relax when you're feeling overwhelmed. Does that sound okay?" "So you're not going to make me wet myself whenever I see you tug your earlobe or something." Professor Martin laughed. "No darling, remember hypnosis can't make you do something you don't want to do, so unless you want to wet yoursel... Oooh." "Yeah. Oooh." "Well, I figure we'll keep it simple and limit ourselves to two. One to help you calm down and manage your anxiety, and one to make it quicker and easier for me to hypnotise you again. Anything that happens beyond that will be one hundred percent your own choice." "So, are you, you know, prepared?" Professor Martin nodded towards Maggie's lap. Maggie blushed again. "Uh, no. It's..." She patted her backpack. "Ah. You should probably put them on so we don't have a repeat of what happened yesterday." "Yeah, I guess." Maggie lifted the backpack onto her lap. "Do you mind?" She looked towards the door. "Oh, of course." Professor Martin got up and walked to the door. "I'll be right outside. You just let me know when you're ready." As soon as the door closed, Maggie opened her backpack. The plastic cover of the diaper was so glaringly white it almost seemed to give off light. She pulled it out and made sure there weren't any tears in the plastic before unfolding it on the couch. With a swiftness born from practice, Maggie pulled her jeans and boxer briefs down and sat down on the diaper, pulling it up between her legs and taping it in place. Then she pulled the underwear and pants back up. The whole affair had taken less than two minutes. Maggie went to the door and opened it, finding Professor Martin waiting outside. "That was quick," she commented. "Yeah," Maggie said awkwardly. "It's not so hard once you've done it a few times." "Good to know." Professor Martin sat down in her chair and looked at Maggie. "I thought they'd be thicker," she said. "I can't even tell you're wearing diapers." "They're my thinnest ones." Maggie sat back down on the couch. "Ready?" Maggie took a deep breath and nodded. "We'll start just like yesterday.. I want you to close your eyes and imagine a candle..." It didn't take long before Maggie was lying slumped back on the couch feeling as if her entire skeleton was made of lead while Professor Martin's voice was leading her to her safe place; her old living room. "Okay Maggie, you're in your safe place. Can you describe it to me?" "My old living room," Maggie said dreamily. "Lots of books. Kinda like your office. But the sofa's bigger." "I'm going to put my hand on your cheek now. Whenever we're in my office and I put my hand on your cheek and say 'you can call me Rachel', you can answer 'yes Rachel' and then you'll go right to your safe place just like now. Do you understand?" "Yes," Maggie whispered. Professor Martin reached out and stroked Maggie's cheek. "You can call me Rachel." "Yes Rachel," Maggie answered. Professor Martin stroked her cheek again. "You can call me Rachel." "Yes Rachel." She stroked the cheek a third time. "You can call me Rachel." "Yes Rachel." "That's a good girl. Now do you remember my office?" "Yes." "I want you to know that when you're in my office you're safe. Safe to be honest. Safe to be yourself. It'll be just like in your safe place. Do you understand. "Yesss," Maggie said slowly. "Good, good. Now let's see if we can go a little deeper and set up something for that anxiety of yours." Maggie couldn't remember what happened next as Rachel's voice once again became sort of a white noise in the background of her mind, lulling her to sleep. She woke up feeling like she had had the best nap ever. And sitting there, right in front of her, looking at her with those incredible brown eyes was Professor Martin. Or was it Rachel? Maggie felt unsure for a moment, but quickly decided it didn't matter." "Ah, The sleeping beauty awakens," she said and smiled. "How are you feeling?" "So relaxed. I haven't felt this good in ages." "That's wonderful. Any, you know... accidents?" "Nope. Still dry. Wanna see?" Maggie reached for the buttons on her jeans. "Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing?" "Uh, showing you I'm still dry." "That's okay Maggie. I believe you." Rachel silently rubbed her chin for a little while. "Maggie? Your old living room, your safe place, it was fairly remote?" Maggie chuckled. "You could say that. The nearest neighbour was like a five or six minute walk down the road." "I see. So did you usually wear your, you know..." "My diapers?" "Yes, your diapers. Did you usually wear them openly there?" "Yeah. I mean, it's not like there would be people just dropping by randomly. It was in the middle of nowhere." "And let me guess, my office feels kind of the same way." "Uh-huh." "Even though it's in the middle of a university campus." "Yea...oh shit!" "It'sokayit'sokayit'sokay." Professor Martin spoke so quickly that Maggie almost couldn't understand what she said. Why did I do that? I almost fucking diaperflashed her. I screwed up everything. Stupid stupid stupid! Maggie grabbed her backpack, desperate for something, anything, to hide behind. She felt tears of shame welling up in her eyes. Then she felt someone sitting down next to her on the couch and a hand stroking her hair." "Don't cry," Professor Martin said softly. "It's not your fault." Maggie sniffed. "How is it not my fault? I'm the one who nearly pulled my own pants down in front of you." "I forgot to take context into consideration when I hypnotised you. I told you to think of my office being just like your old living room." "So how come it doesn't feel like that now?" "Reality tends to overrule our imagination. But I can fix it, if you'll let me." Professor Martin took Maggie's backpack and put it back on the floor. Then she reached out to stroke Maggie's cheek. "You can call me Rachel." Maggie felt her limbs grow heavier as her muscles relaxed. "Yes Rachel." The reply came almost without having to think about it. She let Rachel guide her limp body down until she was lying with her head in Rachel's lap, looking up at those incredible eyes. "Maggie?" "Yes." "Do you remember my office?" "Yes." "I want you to remember that it's a safe place. It's still a place where you can be honest and be yourself and not feel shame, but you will also remember it's not your old living room. Can you remember that?" "Yes." "Good. Now I'm going to count to three and when I reach three, you're going to wake up and you're going to remember what we just talked about. One, two, three." Maggie blinked a couple of times as she looked up at Rachel. "This isn't a halfway bad view to wake up to," she said and smiled. Rachel moved to let Maggie sit up. "Please don't." She stopped. "I just wanna stay like this for a little while. Just for a minute. Please?" "Of course." Lying there with her head in Rachel's lap, Maggie felt so calm that she was tempted to just let go, but she resisted the urge. After a little while, Rachel helped her sit up before moving back to her chair. "Just one last thing before you leave." "That doesn't sound ominous at all." "It's just... with what happens when you get really relaxed, I don't know if that might happen if you have one of your anxiety attacks." "Are you saying..." "I don't know, but I think you should keep your diapers on just in case." "Seriously?" Maggie rolled her eyes. "Having to worry about anybody noticing them-" "Nobody is going to notice. I didn't notice and I knew you had them on. You'll be fine. And besides, better safe than sorry. Don't you agree?" "OK, I guess." "That's my good girl." Rachel leaned over and kissed Maggie's forehead, filling her head with butterflies that quickly migrated to her stomach. Helping Maggie to her feet, she led her to the door. "I'll see you on Thursday then." Maggie wandered slowly down the hallway, her mind swirling with thoughts. One of them louder than any other. I'm her good girl.

I’m in diapers all the time and use them for the reason babies wear them. I will hold my poops if I’m somewhere that I can’t change or will sometimes use a potty for that but at home, diapers are my potty.

The first thing you see when you open your eyes the next morning is Meowy, sitting on your chest and smiling at you as if to say "good morning". A soft-skinned hand holds onto him, and you follow the arm to find your girlfriend sleeping next to you on her stomach. There's no need to wake her yet, so you decide to try to get a bit more sleep yourself. You close your eyes and relax. A few minutes later, you feel movement next to you. You open your eyes and see Mandy shifting her legs around, but she doesn't turn around or fully wake up yet. As you close your eyes again, you hear Mandy take a few sharp, short breaths, then sigh quietly. The odor you've come to associate with mornings fills the air a few seconds later. Sure enough, you open your eyes and see a noticeable lump in the seat of Mandy's diaper, which you watch become even more pronounced as she adds to the load. All signs of wakefulness seem to disappear from Mandy after that. It's a bit hard to ignore the smell in the room, but you decide not to rush her out of bed for a change just yet. You close your eyes and try your best to sleep for a little while longer. The second time you wake up is far less pleasant than the first. A heavy weight suddenly falls onto your chest, and your eyes snap open to see Mandy sitting on you. You are facing her back, and her foul-smelling, diapered butt is only inches from your face. You can't keep yourself from gagging, and perhaps purely out of instinct, you push Mandy off of you a little harder than you mean to. She lands directly on the floor with a loud THUD, and before you hear another sound, you know you've messed up. Mandy begins to wail at the top of her lungs. You sit up and look to the side of the bed and see her sitting in only her filthy diaper on the floor, face red and tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why did you do that, Daddy?!" she cries. "It hurts!" You close your eyes and take a deep breath, composing yourself. "I'm sorry, baby," you say. "It was an accident." Your apology seems to mean nothing to her in this moment. She continues to bawl on the floor as you get yourself out of bed and prepare to deal with the fallout. You know she isn't really hurt, but Mandy cries like this any time she has any kind of fall or scrape, no matter how inconsequential. She simply wants you to humor and comfort her like a Daddy would for his baby. You calmly accept your role. "I got a boo-boo!" she wails, showing you her elbow. She has a minor scratch, but it's not deep or wide enough to bleed. "Let Daddy kiss it all better," you say, picking her up beneath her armpits and lifting her back onto the bed. "Okay..." Mandy whimpers. You delicately pick up Mandy's arm and kiss her elbow before sitting on the bed yourself and pulling her into a hug. She continues to cry quietly on your lap as she nuzzles against your chest. "I was just trying to play with Meowy," Mandy cries. "He was on your tummy." "I know, sweetie, I'm sorry," you say. "You surprised Daddy when you sat on him is all." "It's okay," Mandy says with a sniffle. "I'm sorry too." You kiss Mandy on the top of her head and hug her a little tighter. "You're a very brave baby girl, getting over your big bad boo-boo like this," you say. "You know, you're also a stinky baby girl, though." "I know, Daddy," she says. "My bum is all warm and mushy." "How about a nice bubble bath? We'll get you nice and clean and the warm water will heal your little boo-boo right up." Mandy looks up at you and smiles through her tears. You hoist her up into one arm and grab a box of baby wipes with the other, then head to the bathroom. Lowering Mandy to her feet, you begin drawing a bath, and prepare for what might be a very messy task. "Can you crouch for me, princess?" you ask. Mandy crouches and immediately begins to giggle. "Ewwwwww!" she exclaims. "It's all mushing against my bum, Daddy!" "I know, don't worry," you say. "Now, I need you to stay very, very still, okay?" "Okay." You untape Mandy's diaper, which plops against the linoleum floor. Luckily, most of her mess sits in the diaper rather than against her skin. "Good girl, now stand up," you say. You use the wipes to thoroughly clean her off, discarding the soiled wipes on top of the diaper on the floor. When she is clean, you ball up the used diaper and throw it away. "Okay, stinkypants, it's bath time," you say. "Do you have all your toys?" "Where's Mrs. Octopus?" Mandy asks. You open the bathroom closet and fish out a plastic, pink octopus with a smiling face that floats on the water's surface. "Here she is," you say, placing Mrs. Octopus in the tub. "Now it's your turn to get in the water." Mandy happily hops into the tub, sighing in comfort as she settles herself beneath the waterline. You start to clean her off with a washcloth as she begins to play with Mrs. Octopus, and as usual, you try to coordinate the parts of her that you're washing with the parts that aren't currently in motion. "Yesterday was fun, wasn't it?" you ask. "Super fun," Mandy replies. "Katie's doing so good getting used to being 24/7." "Really? You think so? She seemed a little reluctant to me." "No, are you kidding? She's a natural," Mandy says. "Her kink is just a little different than mine is all, so she acts a little different." You pause. Does Mandy know something you don't? "What do you mean 'different?'" you ask. "Well, for Katie, being reluctant is kind of the point," Mandy says. "She likes being a baby, but for her, it's more of a means to an end. She just wants her Mommy to dominate and humiliate her. When she doesn't act babyish, it's because she wants her Mommy to force her to act babyish. That's what does it for her, especially if it's in front of other people." "Wow," you say. "I guess I didn't put that together." "Well, you gave her Mommy some good advice," Mandy says. "How do you know what I talked to Lisa about?" "Come on, it was so obvious," she says. "You guys have a cup of coffee and suddenly her Mommy just decides on her own that Katie can't keep her diapers covered anymore? And the laxative -- Katie says her Mommy has never given her anything like that before." "So Katie knew about the laxative?" "Really?" Mandy looks at you with her eyebrows raised. "You heard her say the milk tasted funny and didn't realize that was her way of saying she knew what was happening? Anyway, my point is that telling Lisa to be stricter and to force Katie to do embarrassing baby stuff was the right thing to do. It's just what Katie wants." You're having one of those moments with Mandy where you realize how insightful she really is. It's almost a little intimidating -- is she analyzing everything you do as her Daddy to this level? "Well, from the way Katie's Mommy was talking, she definitely doesn't know that's what Katie wants," you say as you continue scrubbing Mandy clean. "She'll figure it out," Mandy says. "Why doesn't Katie just, you know, tell her she wants her to be more dominant?" "Where's the fun in that? Trust me. Lisa will pick up on how Katie responds to her being strict and put things together." "So if Katie's just into humiliation and doesn't really care so much about being an adult baby, how does she act when it's just you two playing by yourselves?" "That's what makes Katie so cool," Mandy says. "She acts like a baby around me when we're alone just because she knows I want a baby friend." "Huh. That's nice of her," you say, truly surprised. "So... are you secretly just into humiliation, too? Is your whole adult baby life just an excuse to have me put you in embarrassing situations? Because apparently I can't tell the difference." "I mean, I can see where Katie's coming from, but no," Mandy says. "I just really like being babied. The grown-up world is dumb. Plus, you know I don't get humiliated by anything. You're talking to the girl who just pooped herself, climbed on your lap, and stuck her butt in your face, remember?" "You have a point there," you say with a laugh. "Alright, sweetie, are you ready to dry off and get dressed?" "Okay, Daddy!" she chirps, regressing herself once again in an instant. ----------------- After a breakfast of cereal and toast, you go outside to the front yard to get the mail. As you're heading back inside, you hear your name being called. "Hey, Jack!" It's Mrs. Rose, who is sitting on her front porch accompanied by a man around your age who you don't recognize. "Good morning, Mrs. Rose!" you shout. "Have some company today?" "Come over here and meet my son!" she says. You make your way across Mrs. Rose's well-manicured lawn and climb the steps to her porch. "Jack, this is my boy, Ralph," she says. "Pleasure to meet you," you say, shaking Ralph's hand. "Your mom is the best neighbor I've ever had!" Ralph is shorter and skinnier than you with light brown hair and a warm smile that he clearly inherited from his mother. "Hey, Jack," he says. "Mom loves you, too. She was just talking about how cute your daughter is." The remark catches you by surprise. You're speechless for a few seconds while you try to think of an answer. "How's little Mandy doing this morning anyway?" Mrs. Rose asks. "Well, she just finished a big breakfast and now she's on the couch watching some cartoons until we figure out what to do with our day," you say. "Why don't you two come over in a little while for lunch?" Mrs. Rose suggests. "I can whip up some sandwiches or something." "Oh, we don't want to impose," you reply quickly. "You should enjoy your time with your son, Mrs. Rose." "Don't be silly," she says. "You just told us you don't have any plans for the day. Go pick up the little tyke and come on over in an hour or so. I won't take no for an answer!" "Uhm..." you stammer. "Okay. We'll be there. Thanks, Mrs. Rose." "Perfect! We'll head inside and start preparing," she says. "Nice to meet you, Jack," Ralph says. "We'll see you soon." You go back to your house and try to figure out a strategy for your lunch date. You put your mail on the kitchen table, then go to the living room and sit on the couch next to Mandy. Wearing a bright, yellow t-shirt above her exposed diaper and drinking from a baby bottle that she clutches with both hands, she is completely engrossed in her cartoon. You grab her gently by the hips and pull her into your lap, making her squeal in surprise from behind her bottle. She doesn't look away from the TV at all as you begin lightly stroking her hair. "So... we're going over Mrs. Rose's house in a little while for lunch," you say. "Her son is visiting." "'Kay Daddy," Mandy says, still not even looking at you. "You're not... I don't know, a little nervous about that?" "Nope." "Well, her son seems to be under the impression that you're my infant daughter," you say. "He's probably going to be... surprised." "Not my problem," she says with a shrug. "We may want to get some pants on you or something," you say. "No need to make the diaper too obvious." "He's expecting an infant, isn't he?" she says. "I don't wanna have to hide who I am, Daddy." "I guess you're right..." you concede. "I doubt a pair of shorts is really going to change his reaction that much. I don't really care what he thinks, I just don't want to spoil our relationship with Mrs. Rose." "Mrs. Rose loves me," Mandy says. "I don't think we have anything to worry about. So what if her son is uncomfortable around me? He'll go home after his visit." "You're right," you say. "Maybe I'm overthinking this. Hey, why don't we dress you in one of the outfits Mrs. Rose bought you? Maybe that pretty blue dress?" "Sure!" Mandy exclaims. You take Mandy upstairs to the nursery and retrieve her blue dress from the closet. Covered in sparkles and frilled at the bottom like a tutu, the dress strikes an interesting balance between elegant and babyish. "Arms up," you say. Mandy quickly complies. You pull her t-shirt over her head and replace it with the dress, helping her work her arms through the holes. The dress hangs just short enough to hide her diaper from view, but anytime she moves in a way that causes the dress to ride up, her diaper's presence becomes obvious. You then get yourself changed into a neat, button-down, collared shirt and some dark jeans, and slip on a gold watch. A short while later, you and Mandy head over to Mrs. Rose's house. "Wanna ring the doorbell, sweetie?" you ask Mandy. "Okay!" Excited that she gets to be the one to do it, Mandy rings the doorbell twice in quick succession, giggling as she does. She reaches out her finger to press the doorbell again, but you stop her. A few seconds later, Mrs. Rose answers the door. "Well hello there, sweet pea!" she coos upon seeing Mandy, kissing her on the cheek. "Don't you look adorable in that dress? I don't think I've gotten to see you wear it yet!" "Hi Mrs. Rose!" Mandy says. "I love my pretty dress! It's got these sparklies all over, see? It makes me feel like a princess!" "Well, come on in, Princess Mandy! It shall be my pleasure to serve you!" "Hey, Mrs. Rose," you say. "Thanks again for having us over." She greets you with a warm hug. "Thanks for coming, Jack. Come on in, we have salad and sandwiches." You and Mandy follow Mrs. Rose into her dining room, which fits her earthy aesthetic. The room is filled with plants and features floral wallpaper. "It must be nice having your son in town," you say to Mrs. Rose. "Where is Ralph, anyway?" "He's just finishing up in the bathroom," she says. "He should be out any second." Mandy toddles around the first floor of Mrs. Rose's house, exploring. Once she is out of earshot, Mrs. Rose pulls you aside. "I was setting the table and it occurred to me that I wasn't sure if Mandy would need a highchair," she says quietly. "Is she going to be okay in a normal chair?" "Oh, she'll be fine, but that's sweet of you to ask," you tell her. "She's a pretty messy eater, though, so please let me clean up after her if she gets any food on your floor, okay?" "Nonsense," she says. "You let me take care of everything. I'm just glad you two are here!" You hear steps coming down the stairwell before Ralph enters the room. "Hey again, Jack!" he says, shaking your hand. "Hey, Ralph," you say, hoping your nervousness isn't too clear in your voice. Mandy scampers back into the room and she and Ralph look at eachother for the first time. "This is Mandy," you say, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Can you say hi to Ralph, honey?" "Hello!" Mandy exclaims. "Your Mommy is the bestest! She got me this sparkly dress, isn't it pretty?" Ralph doesn't say anything for a moment, looking Mandy over with a confused look on his face. "Uh... hi Mandy," he finally says. "Yes, that's a very pretty dress." "Mandy is the sweetest little baby girl," Mrs. Rose tells her son. "Her and her Daddy are always playing outside in their backyard while I do my gardening. I love listening to her have fun -- it keeps me young!" "So... how old is Mandy?" Ralph asks. You look over at Mandy, whose face stretches into a wide grin. She holds up two fingers. "I'm this many!" she says. "That means I'm a big girl, Mrs. Rose, not a baby anymore." "Oh, how silly of me," Mrs. Rose says with a laugh. "Well, I bet this big girl is pretty hungry. Why don't we all sit down and dig in?" You load up two plates with food and place one of them in front of Mandy. Before you can even sit down, she immediately begins using her hands to shovel salad into her mouth. Some of it misses, dropping onto her dress. "Baby, use your fork," you say, picking up lettuce and shredded carrots from her clothes and putting them back on her plate. She clumsily picks up her fork, gripping it with her entire hand and stabbing aimlessly into her lettuce. As she struggles to pick it up, you can see her getting frustrated. "Here, sweetie, let me feed you," you say. You begin feeding Mandy bite by bite. As you hold each fork-full in front of her mouth, she opens as wide as she can. It may take longer this way, but it ensures she won't make as much of a mess, although an errant morsel occasionally falls out of her mouth and onto her clothes. "You're such a good Daddy," Mrs. Rose says to you. "And you're such a good little eater, aren't you Mandy? Is that salad tasty, sweetheart?" "Mmmmmmm," Mandy murmurs as she gobbles up another bite. You catch a glimpse of Ralph, who hasn't said a word since you all sat down. He's staring as you feed your girlfriend, seemingly still trying to figure out what's going on. "So tell me about yourself, Ralph," you say. "Where do you live? What do you do?" "I'm out in the city a few hours away," he says. "I'm in sales." "That's where BabyCon was, isn't it Daddy?" Mandy suddenly exclaims, her mouth full of food. "That's right, princess, good memory." "BabyCon?" Ralph asks. "What's that?" It appears that the time has come to address the elephant in the room, you think to yourself. You look toward Mrs. Rose, wondering if this will be as much of a surprise to her as it will be to her son. "Well... BabyCon is an annual meetup for people who live the lifestyle Mandy and I do," you explain. "And... what lifestyle is that?" Ralph asks. "So, Mandy is what's called an adult baby," you say. "She chooses to live her life as a toddler in every way, and I take care of her. We know it's a little unusual, but it makes us happy." Ralph's eyebrows are raised in surprise, but Mrs. Rose seems unfazed. "I see..." Ralph says uneasily. "Is it a... sexual thing?" "Ralph!" Mrs. Rose snaps. "That's an inappropriate question." "No, it's okay," you say. "You know, Mrs. Rose, I guess we've never really had this conversation either. Might as well get everything out in the open. To answer your question, Ralph, yes and no. Mandy is both my girlfriend as well as my baby. We have a normal sex life, but that's about the extent of Mandy's life as an adult." Ralph looks at his mother uneasily, clearly unsure how to proceed. "I'm sorry about Ralph's curiosity," Mrs. Rose says to you and Mandy. "Please don't feel obligated to answer him. This is your private business and it's not our place to pry." "Really, it's fine," you tell her. "To be honest, Mandy and I weren't really sure if you realized she was actually an adult all this time." "Well, of course I noticed," she replies. "My eyes aren't what they used to be, but I'm not blind. You know, they don't normally make the types of outfits I buy for Mandy in adult sizes. It doesn't make a lick of difference to me. You two are excellent neighbors and good friends, and you ought to be able to live however you want to live." "Thanks, Mrs. Rose," you say. "We're so lucky to live next to you." You help Mandy take a bite out of her sandwich, then turn back to Ralph. "So, do you have other questions?" you ask. "Don't be shy, we're an open book." "Well, when you say she lives like an infant in every way... I mean, how far does that go?" Ralph asks. "Is it just sometimes?" "It's all the time," you say. "Whatever you're imagining, she probably does it. Do you want to tell him, Mandy?" Mandy begins talking, but her mouth is full of food, and she's completely incoherent. "Swallow first, baby," you say. A few seconds of silence follow before Mandy opens her mouth again. "Daddy says I'm not big enough to use the big-girl potty, so I use my diapies instead," she begins. "Meowy is my best friend. He's a little kitty cat stuffy and we do everything together. I usually sleep in my crib, but Daddy let me sleep in the grown-up bed with him last night. Hmmmm, what else? I love my baba and my cartoons and my bouncer and rocking horse and playing on my playground." "...Wow," Ralph says. Another awkward silence follows as you continue to feed Mandy. "How long have you two been living like this?" he asks. "Oh, about five years or so," you say. "Has she always been... you know... like this? Did she used to live like a normal adult?" "I hate being a grown-up!" Mandy exclaims. "She tried it for a while, yeah," you say. "We'll spare you the details, but we're both much happier this way." You look your girlfriend in the eye. "I'll be her Daddy as long as she wants to be a baby," you say. Mandy closes her eyes and puckers her lips, and you share a quick kiss before she continues eating. "You two are absolutely adorable," Mrs. Rose says. "Now, enough of these questions, Ralph. Jack and Mandy have been more than patient. Let's change the subject." The four of you chat as you continue eating. It's still a bit awkward, but you feel like a weight has been lifted knowing that Mrs. Rose is so supportive of you and Mandy. You get the sense that Ralph isn't going to fully come around, but as the meal concludes, he seems to at least loosen up a bit. Soon, you're getting to know him a bit better and find that he is just as nice as his mother -- if not a bit less open-minded. As you all stand up from the table and Ralph begins gathering dirty dishes, you see that Mandy has managed to get globs of salad dressing all over her dress. "Mrs. Rose, do you have a cloth or something I can use to clean her up?" you ask. "Of course," she says. "Come on into the kitchen." You take Mandy by the hand and lead her into the kitchen, where Mrs. Rose wets a washcloth and hands it to you. "Such a messy eater!" Mrs. Rose coos, pinching Mandy's cheek before heading back into the dining room to clean up. You search Mandy's dress up and down for stains and painstakingly blot them out with water as you find them. Ralph looks on as he rinses a dish in the sink. You spot a smear of salad dressing on the frills at the bottom of her dress, so you lift up the hem to clean it, completely revealing her diaper to Ralph. "Uhh... it looks like she might need a change," he says. You look at Ralph, then examine Mandy's diaper and find that he is correct. It is completely soaked and dyed yellow. You turn Mandy around and look at her butt, and find that the blue wetness indicator stripe on her diaper is intensely visible. "Well would you look at that," you say. "I guess we'd better head home and get this little girl into a fresh diapie." "Leaving already?" Mrs. Rose asks. "Yeah, I think we'd better," you say. "Sorry to dine and dash, Mrs. Rose. If she pees again, she might leak. We don't want that to happen in your house!" "Ooooh, someone's a little fountain, isn't she?" Mrs. Rose dotes. "Okay, you two, get on home and get changed." She hugs you both tightly. "Thank you so much for coming over, dears. I'm so glad you got to meet Ralph." "Thanks for having us!" you say. "Lunch was delicious. I hope you have a great time with your boy. Mandy, can you say bye to Mrs. Rose?" "Bye bye!" she says, reaching out for another hug from the old woman. "Thanks for the num nums!" You shake Ralph's hand on the way out. "It was nice meeting you, Jack," he says. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable with all my questions." "Not at all," you say. "We know it's unusual. Thanks for being open-minded about it and not judging us too harshly." Mandy toddles over to Ralph and outstretches her arms for a hug. Ralph looks at you and his mother uneasily, but then relents and hugs Mandy tight. "Bye, cutie," Ralph says. You and Mandy head back home and go straight to the nursery for a much-needed diaper change. ---------------- You aren't sure what causes it, but every so often, Mandy wakes up and decides she's going to make your life as difficult as she can. Today is one of those days. It started during bath time, when Mandy apparently made it her mission to splash around in the water as much as possible, no matter how much you restrained her. Your carefully styled hair and clothes were quickly soaked beyond repair, and that's to say nothing of the bathroom floor, which required a thorough mopping. But that wasn't the worst part. While you were mopping the floor, you heard a sudden giggle from Mandy -- never a good sign. When you checked on her, you discovered that she pooped in the bath tub, even though she woke up in a messy diaper and you made her push to ensure she had nothing left in her before getting out of it. That required even more cleaning, of both Mandy and the tub itself. The mischief continued almost immediately after bath time ended. Thanks to several shrewd investments over the last 20 years or so, you feel blessed that you are able to support yourself and Mandy comfortably on passive income. These days, what little "work" you have is the occasional phone call with your financial advisor or one of your property managers. When these rare calls do come in, though, you typically have to drop everything you're doing and deal with them. This time, your phone begins ringing just after you lay a fully naked, post-bath Mandy down on the changing table. "Shit," you mutter. It's a property manager call. "That's a bad word, Daddy!" Mandy shouts. "I have to take this," you tell Mandy. You pick up Meowy, who is still sitting in the crib, and hand him to Mandy. "Princess, just play with Meowy and stay on the table, okay? I'll be back as quick as I can." As you step out of the room and begin assessing the situation, you discover that one of your rental properties along the coast suffered major flood damage last night. Details pour out of the manager over the next 10 minutes, and as he speaks, you realize that dealing with the repairs is going to take a lot of money as well as a lot of effort. You tell the manager that you'll make some calls and get back to him shortly, then hang up and head back to the nursery. Your jaw drops when you see what Mandy has done. Mandy sits on top of an open diaper on the changing table, clutching Meowy and sucking her thumb. Every inch of her body, as well as the entire surface of the changing table, is covered in a thick coating of baby powder. You see small piles of powder built upon the carpet surrounding the table as well. It almost looks like the aftermath of a small, indoor blizzard. "Mandy, what the hell happened in here?" you shout. You see tears well up in Mandy's eyes. "I was just trying to help, Daddy," she says, her voice breaking. "I tried to put on my own diapie but then I spilled the powder. Then that bottle was empty so I got another... and that one spilled, too..." "What did I say, Mandy? I said to sit still and stay on the table! You know you don't know how to diaper yourself!" At this point, Mandy is full-on crying. She never did have any tolerance for a raised voice. You realize that yelling at her is doing more harm than good. "Just... forget about it, okay?" you say, cooling down. "Let's just... I don't know, I guess you need another bath now, don't you?" You spend the next hour bathing Mandy again, getting her diapered and dressed, and cleaning out the nursery. After that's done, you feed Mandy a quick breakfast of oatmeal with bananas. "Now, listen closely," you say as you feed her a spoonful. "Daddy has a lot of important calls to make today and he's going to need you to hang out by yourself for a while, okay? And it's really important that you don't come try to talk to Daddy or ask him for anything while he's on the phone. I'll come check on you after each call in case you need something. Do you understand, sweetie?" "Okay, Daddy," Mandy says with a mouthful of oatmeal. "Good girl. We'll get some of your toys and stuffies together in the living room and put some cartoons on TV for you. I'll get you a baba, too." After breakfast, you get everything set up for Mandy and prepare for your morning to get even tougher. The next few hours will be a blur of arguing with insurance companies, haggling with contractors, and managing managers. You take one last look at Mandy, kneeling in a bright purple onesie and playing with her dollhouse, and feel cautiously optimistic that she won't bother you. Of course, you're wrong. You're speaking to your third contractor when Mandy walks into your home office. You try to wordlessly motion for her to leave the room without upsetting her, but it doesn't seem to have much effect. "Daddy, I can't find my pacifier," she says at full volume. "Sorry, Mike, can you hold on just a moment, please?" you say into the phone. You put him on hold and set down the phone. "Mandy!" you shout. "I'm so sick of you not listening to me today! What did Daddy say during breakfast about not bothering him while he's on the phone?" "Yeah, but I just need -" "No buts, Mandy! Your pacifiers are upstairs in the nursery on your dresser. Go get one, go back to the living room, and then play quietly until I'm done! If you interrupt again, you're getting a punishment." Mandy's eyes tear up again and she takes off down the hall without another word. You roll your eyes and continue your call. In spite of your threat - or perhaps because of it - Mandy enters your office again about an hour later. She holds her baby bottle and shakes it in front of you, completely oblivious to the conversation you're having. "Daddy, I need more milk!" she exclaims. Your frustration reaches a boiling point. You take a deep breath and calmly ask the insurance representative on the other line for a direct number at which you can call her back in a few minutes. After you get one, you thank her and hang up the phone. You snap to your feet, storm across the office, and pick Mandy up into your arms. You bring her upstairs to the nursery as she flails against your grasp, trying to get free. "What did I say would happen if you interrupted my phone call again?" you shout. "Let me go, Daddy!" Mandy squeals. You sit on Mandy's changing table and bend your girlfriend over your knee. You swiftly unsnap her onesie and untape one side of her diaper, pulling it back to reveal her bare ass. You deliver a quick series of hard spanks, making her wail in pain. "You've been such a brat all morning, young lady!" you shout as you smack her again and again. "I don't know what's gotten into you today, but it stops now!" Mandy is crying hysterically, and as you continue to spank her, small welts begin to form on her skin. "Daddy, stop!" she wails. You ignore her, delivering a few more blows. "I said fucking stop it!" she screams. You're momentarily shocked. Mandy hasn't cursed in months, if not years. You realize this calls for an even more severe punishment. "What did you say, Amanda?" you ask calmly. "I... I..." You lift Mandy off your lap and lay her down on the changing table. Then, you untape the other side of her diaper and remove it. "Wait here," you command. You walk over to Mandy's bouncer and detach the dildo you installed in its seat. You then retrieve a bottle of lube and return to the changing table. Mandy looks on in horror as you lube up the dildo, knowing what comes next. "Please, no," she begs through her tears. "I'll be a good girl, I promise!" You flip Mandy onto her stomach and carefully work the dildo into her ass, making her cry out in anguish as she takes each inch. By the time she is fully plugged, she is crying harder than she was during the spanking. You retape her diaper around her crotch, confining the dildo in place. Then, you lift Mandy back into your arms and bring her over to her bouncer. As you strap her into it, she reluctantly puts her sitting weight against the dildo, making her screech in pain. You open one of the dresser drawers and retrieve a pacifier gag, which you fasten around Mandy's head. Her cries and whimpers become muffled as the shifting of her weight causes her to bounce involuntarily, pushing the dildo deeper into her with each one. "You're going to stay on your bouncer and think about your listening and language skills until I'm done with my calls," you say. "I know this is harsh, but I do it because I love you." You kiss the whimpering, miserable, diapered woman on her forehead before leaving the room and returning to your calls. Things go rather smoothly after that. You don't hear a peep from Mandy as you finish handling the flood situation, though you are certain she is making noise from behind her pacifier gag. You know she's going to be exhausted and in pain for the rest of the night after you end her punishment, and you aren't looking forward to the aftercare you'll have to give her. You expect she will hold a grudge against you for at least a few days -- though you're fairly certain she won't misbehave in the immediate future. After you finish your last call for the day, updating the property manager about the progress you've made and the schedule for repairs you've developed, you take a deep breath and head back upstairs to the nursery. Mandy appears barely conscious, her eyes flickering between open and closed as she bounces gently, eliciting a soft whimper each time she descends. She scarcely reacts as you unstrap her gag. "Are you ready to behave?" you ask sternly. "....yes, Daddy," Mandy whines. You gingerly lift Mandy out of the bouncer and you feel her tense up and wince with each movement of her legs. You then lay her down on the changing table again, and untape her diaper. There is a deep, red ring around the flared base of the dildo, which is still firmly planted deep inside her. As soon as you touch it, Mandy screeches in pain. It is a harrowing process, but you carefully pull the dildo out of her and apply a generous amount of soothing cream to her rash. You're surprised to see that her hole does not seem to immediately close all the way as you expected it to. You tape her into a new diaper, re-button her onesie, and help her off the changing table. Guilt washes over you as you watch her limp away from you, crying softly and holding a hand against her bottom. You definitely overreacted. ----------------------- Mandy has spent the last few days largely ignoring you as she recovers from her punishment. She has begun to walk normally again and the swelling near her hole has dissipated, but she still has trouble sitting down. You've tried your best to make amends, between baking her special desserts, buying her new toys, and apologizing repeatedly, but she remains upset, and it's difficult to blame her. One noticeable effect of Mandy's ordeal is that her bowel control seems to have weakened even further. Rather than messing herself once in the morning as usual, she has been releasing several smaller messes throughout the day. She says she can barely even feel them coming out of her, and you've found yourself worrying that this loss of control could potentially be permanent -- only time will tell. After a week or so, things gradually return to normal. Mandy's demeanor improves and you resume your happy, loving relationship. Her pain disappears. However, her messing schedule remains distorted. Your area is experiencing a heat wave this week, so you've elected to keep Mandy naked besides her diapers unless you're going out somewhere. In the early afternoon, she is playing with Meowy on the living room floor while you do some online shopping on the couch. A sudden odor alerts you that she has messed herself again -- the third time today. "Hey baby, can you come here for a sec?" you ask. Mandy stands up and saunters over to you, clutching Meowy with her thumb in her mouth. "Yes, Daddy?" "Turn around for me." You feel the seat of her diaper and confirm her latest accident. You decide that it's time to have an uncomfortable conversation with her that you've been dreading for the last few days. You pat the couch cushion next to you and move your laptop off your lap. "Come sit for a sec," you say. "I want to have a quick grown-up talk with you, okay?" "Am I in trouble?" Mandy asks as she takes a seat next to you. "No, sweetie, of course not." You put your hand on Mandy's bare thigh and look her in the eye. "So... about this poopy situation," you begin. "It seems like it's not getting any better, is it?" "No, I guess not," she responds, looking at the floor. "Well, I've been thinking, and maybe we should bring you to a doctor to make sure we didn't do any permanent damage to your bum." "Nooooooo," Mandy whines. "Daddy, I don't like going to the doctor!" "I know, sweetie," you say. "But don't you think we should see if we can get this under control? You don't want to be messing yourself uncontrollably for the rest of your life, right?" "Why not?" Mandy asks, looking at you with what appears to be genuine confusion. "Well... what if one day you want to stop being a baby?" "I won't," she says confidently. "In fact, to be honest, I kind of like how things are now." "You do?" "Yeah. I mean, I haven't had bladder control for a long time. We've been doing this for five years, it's about time I lost my bowel control, too." "...And you're sure about that?" you ask incredulously. "It'll probably mean you have to sit in a messy diaper for longer periods sometimes. And it would also probably mean making poopies in public, even when you don't want to." "I don't care about that," Mandy says with a shrug. "It's your job to decide when to change me, not mine. And messy diapies are comfy sometimes." You're quiet for a moment as you think through what Mandy is saying. You've long since been desensitized to dealing with Mandy's messes, and neither the smell or the sight particularly bothers you. However, even after all this time, it's a bit nerve-wracking for you to think about Mandy truly losing control. Up until now, you've considered Mandy to be "diaper dependent" -- but in the back of your mind, you've known she could probably be re-potty trained if she wanted to. Doing nothing about her sudden loss of bowel control would truly be a point of no return, not just for her, but for you as well. Then again, who knows if a doctor could help her even if you went to one? Maybe there isn't a "choice" to be made at all. "Come here," you say, pulling Mandy into a tight hug. "If you're okay with this, I am, too." "So no doctor?" "Not unless you want one." "Yay!" Mandy cheers. "I love you, Daddy." "Times infinity?" "Times infinity and one!" "Okay, stinkybutt," you say, kissing Mandy on the cheek. "Go back to playing and we'll change you in a little bit." She smiles and hops back onto the floor, laying out on her stomach and kicking her legs in the air behind her as she continues playing with Meowy. You decide to surprise Mandy by making plans for Katie and Lisa to visit. Mandy and Katie have enjoyed several playdates during the last few months, and you find your friendship with Lisa strengthening each time you see her. You've seen that Mandy was correct when she told you that Lisa would pick up on what Katie wants out of her. Lisa and Katie's dynamic has evolved quickly, and now, both women appear far more comfortable in their respective roles. Lisa has become a strict disciplinarian that seems to truly enjoy putting her girlfriend in humiliating positions, and Katie has come a long way in getting more comfortable in those positions -- which, in turn, challenges Lisa to constantly think up new ways to make her blush. You send Lisa a text: "Hey, you. It's been a few weeks. Time for a playdate?" She responds only moments later: "Definitely. How about now?" "Perfect! See you soon," you reply. You stand up off the couch and sit down on the floor next to Mandy. "Hey, cutie," you say, moving a lock of her blonde hair away from her eyes. "Got a big surprise for you." "What?" she asks with wide-eyed excitement. "Katie's on her way over!" With that, your girlfriend stands up and runs cheerful laps around the living room, the weighty lump in the seat of her diaper bouncing back and forth with each bound. -------------------

Part 2 Alice groaned as she saw a text from Jennifer telling her to meet them in the Azalea Doves' House for lunch. Trekking across campus again wasn't necessarily any easier than it was last time, especially now that the diaper was even heavier and swollen than it was before. And would be a lot heavier before the day was done… She found them in the same room her Initiation began in, with bags of fast food strewn about the floor. Jennifer smiled at Alice as she appeared in the door "There you are. Come, sit with us. We have plenty of food to spare and you are welcome to it." "Th-thanks.." She carefully walked into the room, making sure to take slow and deliberate steps to not agitate the mush within her diaper any further, before gently lowering herself onto the floor near where Harmony sat. Harmony chuckled at her cautious steps "You're adorable." Alice blushed at Harmony's comment. "How's your diaper holding up, little girl?" That remark came from Britney across the room as she sipped on her milkshake. "U-uh- it.. it's.. fine. Y-yeah- it's fine.." "Oh is it now?" Britney retorted "Maybe we should check, just to be sure?" "I can handle that!" Harmony said with perhaps a little bit too much enthusiasm before turning to the diapered girl. "H-huh-? I- uhhh.. d-do you have to..?" Alice pleaded. "Yes, darlin'. It's all part of the Initiation. Now if you'd be so kind as to lift your skirt for me, hon?" "A-alright..." She turned around and sheepishly lifted her skirt, yet again blushing. "Thank ya, hon." Harmony said before pressing her palm into the back of Alice's diaper, feeling the padding squish against her and slowly moving down further between the girl's legs. Alice squeaked, flinching at the feeling of Harmony rubbing her diaper. "Hmmm, feels a little squishier than it was before. I wonder why?" Alice didn't need to see Harmony's face to hear the smirk in her voice, nor did she miss the muffled chuckle across the room from Jennifer. Alice's face flushed red with embarrassment, and she looked down at the floor with shame. After what felt like an eternity of having her squishy diaper groped, Harmony removed her hand and pulled Alice's skirt back down. "Looks all good to me. Why don't you go ahead and grab a bite to eat, hon? Would you like a burger or a wrap?" Alice kept her eyes locked onto a particularly interesting spot on the ground. "I'm.. I'm fine for now- thanks.." Her voice was quiet, no doubt due to embarrassment. "Suit yourself." Harmony relented. The three Azalea Doves continued eating and talking about House business, as if Alice wasn't there at all, giving her a much-needed reprieve from the lime-light to collect her thoughts and compose herself. Alice breathed a sigh of momentary relief, though she knew it definitely wouldn't last. Was this even a relief if she was still stuck here squirming in her mushy diaper? As lunch was coming to an end and Jennifer was gathering up the trash from their little makeshift picnic, every muscle in Alice's body tensed when Britney stood up and stalked across the room until she was standing directly over her. "Do you know what time it is, little girl?" "Y-yes- I... I do.." Alice knew exactly what time it was. Time for phase 2 where something else would be added to her already sodden diaper. Britney wasted no time quickly yanking Alice up onto her feet and pulled her over to where she had been sitting. "I'll be honest, I was struggling to decide what I wanted to contribute to this part of the Initiation. Then when we were ordering lunch I had a brilliant idea..." She picked up her extra-large milkshake which appeared to still be about half-full. Alice pretended to not know what Britney was talking about, but she knew exactly what was going to happen next… Britney saw through Alice's play of ignorance fairly easily "That's right, the rest of this milkshake is going in your diaper. Half in the back, and half in front." She grinned evilly, "So be a good baby and turn around for me. We'll start with the back." "F-fine.." Alice stood still for a moment, then submitted to Britney's orders. This tiniest show of defiance towards her least-favorite Dove was her one solace in this situation. "Better hold still. Wouldn't wanna get milkshake all over your skirt, now would we?" and with that, Alice had the back of her diaper pulled open for the second time today, only this time instead of warm oatmeal being dumped into her diaper, it was an ice-cold milkshake. Alice shivered with cold as the milkshake made contact with her bare skin. But Britney wasn't done with her sadistic punishment. She let go of the back of Alice's diaper and circled in front of the shivering girl, 1/4 of a milkshake in hand. "Why don't you hold your diaper open for me this time?" she ordered, knowing the poor girl couldn't refuse. Alice decided that she probably didn't want to disobey Britney. So she held her diaper open and squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation. As bad as the shock of the cold milkshake hitting her butt had been, the shock of it being poured into the front of her diaper was somehow ten times worse. She shivered even worse than before, holding onto the wall for support. She didn't want to show weakness in front of Britney, but this was a moment where that wasn't possible. "I'll bet that's cold, huh? Well don't worry. If what Harmony said was true, you should have no problem warming that diaper up on your own." Britney teased, reaching down to pat the front of the girl's diaper when she was finished. That simple pat made her squirm even more. "Well if this ain't gettin' more fun by the minute!" Harmony exclaimed, "I'll have to come up with somethin' to top Britney's contributions for Phase 3." She said with a mischievous gleam in her eye. Alice mentally groaned at the thought. What could be worse than a cold milkshake right down her diaper? Squishing around with the oatmeal and absorbing into the crinkly material. "But don't you worry your pretty little head about that, hon." she said, gently patting the girl's head, "Now I believe we all have classes to get to, right?" The other two Azalea Doves were already making their way out of the room. But on the way out, Jennifer reached over and gave Alice's diapered butt a gentle pat, giggling under her breath. "Eep!"

Oh geeze, that'd be pretty awkward! That's a really good question - If only you could talk to the girls and explain the idea, they might have a shot at beating this thing. Agreed! Oof, mood ... Day 8 (Don’t worry about it.) Nicole told herself, repeating the words in her head like a prayer. (Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it.) She worried anyways, because no amount of silent hope could ease her anxiety. It was her first day back to work since her lisp had developed. She had to be careful about every word she spoke–ensuring she said the right words, focusing on how to pronounce them. Speech had become a chore, but she didn’t operate phones, and she didn’t have any meetings coming up. She could do most of her job without talking, she’d just have to power through the few bits of conversation that were unavoidable. What worried her more was the doodle on the potty training chart she’d seen that morning. Storm clouds for day and night, of course; she’d lost all hope of making it to the potty, at least until they could get this curse resolved. No, the new fear came from the sketch, which still managed to perfectly replicate Vanessa’s art style, and showed Nicole sweating in distress in front of a toilet. Nicole didn’t totally get it, but she hadn’t had much time to puzzle it out, either–there was just enough time to strip out of her soggy bedtime diaper and get work clothes on before rushing out the door. Not knowing was worse than anything. She could guess, but her guesses hadn’t been consistent so far–would the toilet attack her? Could it just be the final nail in the coffin for her potty training, an indication that she’d never make it again? Or was it something far, far worse, something she couldn’t even think of? She got off the bus and waddled into work. This part, she could do–her business-casual dress hid the puffy diaper that’d replaced her panties, her purse had three fresh diapers and plenty of wipes stashed inside, and a few polite ‘Hello’s were all it took to get to her desk and start working. To any casual observer, they’d think nothing was wrong. She could still pass for an adult, if– (No, I am an adult. I can still pass for someone who’s not cursed.) Nicole took the time to mentally correct herself, to ensure she didn’t slip into thinking of herself as a baby. She managed to be stealthy thus far, and there was no reason that couldn’t continue. Nobody at the office had to know that her last successful attempt to use the toilet had been days ago. Nicole got through the early morning hours smoothly. Conversations, when they couldn’t be avoided, were bypassed with lots of nodding, and when she did need to speak, she hid her pauses and concentration by clearing her throat or finding other ways to disguise the lapses. Big words were getting harder–she still held all her technical knowledge in her head, but explaining it verbally took more thought, or the use of synonyms rather than proper words. But–with effort–she did it. She passed herself off as unscathed, as potty trained, as an adult capable of operating in society. At least, until just before lunch. She felt the pressure just moments before it happened, and glanced around surreptitiously–nobody was looking at her, thankfully. She still blushed, feeling herself push muck into the seat of her diaper, a tidal wave Nicole was helpless to stop. Saving her work, she got to her feet, glancing around. She’d just need to get changed before anyone noticed the smell–no big deal. Waddling across the office floor, she stepped into the women’s room, and– (Oh god, no, no–) Sitting next to the normal trash bin, under the sink, was a sturdy table covered in waterproof plastic, plus a new bin with a secure lid. Over it, a handwritten paper sign had been taped to the wall. ‘Please dispose of all incontinence products in the sealed bin - thanks, Management’ They knew. Everyone knew. Her heart dropped into her stomach, realizing that all her efforts of stealth had gone to waste. Everyone in the office–at least, everyone with access to the women’s room–had pieced it together, to the point that they’d installed a pail and a changing table in the bathroom just for her dirty diapers. “Maybe–” she said aloud, shaking her head. “Maybe it’s from the chart. Like, it changed my room, why couldn’t it change this room too? That’s it–nobody knows, it just appeared here from magic.” Staring at the… she had to call it what it was, the diaper pail, Nicole didn’t know if she believed her own excuse or not. She just had to hope, and in the meantime, she had a dirty diaper to change. And she flatly refused to use a changing table, not when any of her coworkers could walk in at any moment. She would use a stall, where she had privacy. Walking to the nearest stall, she pushed open the door and–her heart rate spiked and she stumbled back, squeaking out a terrified, “Shit!” The stall was the same as it’d always been, just a porcelain toilet and a roll of toilet paper on the side, but the sight of it sent a shock of paranoia through her. Inching towards the piece of bathroom furniture, she could just imagine it attacking her–a monster coming up from the pipes, or just dragging her down into the water. She stared for a moment, then slammed the stall door closed. She just couldn’t trap herself in a confined space with that… Thing. She tried the other stall, but her reaction was the same–she just couldn’t stand the thought of being near a–toilet–for more than a second. Which meant… Sucking up her anxiety, she hopped up onto the changing table. There weren’t that many people in the office; as long as she was quick, she wouldn’t be caught. Balling up her old diaper and sliding it away, she attacked the muck on her thighs liberally with wipes, got clean, and pulled on a fresh diaper, slapping down the tapes and yanking up her pants. As she dropped to the floor and reached to pick up her diaper, though, she heard the door handle click. In a rush, she threw open the pail and tossed her diaper in, releasing the yucky garment just before her coworker walked inside. They made awkward eye contact for a moment, and she prayed that they hadn’t seen what she’d just been throwing away. The bathroom certainly smelled pretty bad, but hopefully they’d chalk that up to just normal bathroom activity. “Um–” Nicole said, stepping aside to the sink to get out of their way. “Go ahead.” She had to catch herself before issuing a meaningless warning: ‘Watch out, there’s a toilet in there.’ ... Can things possibly get any worse for our hero? (Yes.) https://www.patreon.com/PeculiarChangeling https://subscribestar.adult/peculiarchangeling

Dude, diaper helps me focus more on my projects and chores too!!!!

Benefits: Intense pleasure, comfort, security, discreet secrecy, naughtiness. dialectic of a responsible adult enjoying a diaper, convenience of wetting whenever and wherever, and the warmth when wetting, the bulge when wet, the warm squish of a messy diaper in the privacy of home-not subjecting people to my messy diaper, relaxation. stress management. I think that covers it for me and I am experiencing all these sensations at this very moment.

Thanks for the comments! And thanks for coming along for the ride here! 💜 Next chapter will be tomorrow night! Stay tuned! 🙂

It saves you from having to use germy public potties.

Most people here know I'm in diapers 24/7/365 but that is by my choice. My bowel & bladder control daytime used to exists to an extent that if I focus only on same, I can make it to a toilet in my office / home, but it is always a rush etc., and there have been times that I didn't make it. If I am dealing with anything else, i.e. focusing on even reading, working, eating etc., my bladder and bowels let go without prior notice so I am aware of wetting and/or messing as it is happening, not before - so I chose to wear diapers and deal with a wet and/or messy diaper as and when that occurs. Nighttime, I never had bladder / bowel control and usually woke with a wet and/or messy diaper etc. Diapers allow me to get on with life and break the methaphorical rope between me and a toilet. Without diapers, I would constantly be in wet & messy clothes as at this stage, I am almost in damp diapers 24/7. From medical and biological tests, this diaper dependance increased post toilet training due to a form of degrenitive nervous issues.

Well, my cheeky disregard for deep-seated concerns relating to if my diaper might be visible does not apply to my in-laws, even despite the fact that my mother-in-law walked past our open bedroom door a couple of months ago while I was sitting on the bed in a diaper, gave us a wave, and carried on. She's not the most observant person - part of me suspects that she saw nothing. I was wearing pants. Jedi mind trick. Case in point - I was fixing the dishwasher, which somehow ingested a lunch of broken flat plastic that suggests maybe someone mysteriously tried to wash a takeout container, and it succumbed to the temperature and/or PH in there. I was taking apart the insides of the machine, knowing and not caring that the back of my diaper had to be fluttering gloriously above the waistband of my shorts, when, apropos of nothing, my in-laws burst into the room. Apparently, they had an appointment in the area. At least I had shorts on at all. My wife could have warned me. Though loath to pull away from the puzzle pieces before me, and the plethora of small screws that needed to return to specific holes, and which, if dropped down the drain, would necessitate uninstalling the machine and inverting it and possibly taking it apart, I never-the-less backed out of there like I'd been confronted by a skunk coming up through the drain, and pulled my shorts up to roughly my chest, and stretched my shirt down past my hips, before I reentered the stainless steel confines of the device. Rearz has a new diaper out, the Daydreamer, which falls under their "Mega" lineup (sorry, NorthShore), and its alleged 11000 ml capacity. I've tested the Mega Barnyard and Inspire+, and while they do hold a LOT, 11 KG of fluid... that is Daydreaming. But the diaper looks cute and interestingly has a clear cover. I may find a reason to buy a bag at some point and test drive them, just for science. I'm sure they will hold a lot, the (tape) tabs will be undefeatable, and, the graphics will perplex my wife.

Hi i'm Candi im new to roleplaying and looking forward to it. i have a few ideas see below and let me know what you think. 1- we are work colleagues one night you've asked me to finish a few tasks before i leave for the night i find evidence that you've stole from the company and decide to use it my advantage by slowly making changes i keep my identity secret to begin with. 2- your 18 and until now its just been you and your dad, i then start dating your father and when i move in i start changing things. I decide the best way for us to bond is to regress you gradually 3- I've always wanted a little girl to look after but after giving up hope of actually having a baby of my own I decide to find someone to make my baby girl or if you have any ideas you want to try let me know and we can talk over details

It's new diaper day at Rearz and man these ones are cute! https://bit.ly/Rearzdreamlaunch

No matter how much I enjoy living the incontinent life, no matter how happy I am with my home made stent. it still feels like I am following instructions of an external force that entered my mind some 45 year ago. I was 11 yo when I discovered a friend from school that I played with was wearing diapers due to a birth defect. Out of nowhere it became an obsession. I wanted to become incontinent as well, I wanted to be diaper dependent. No thought process, no rational decision, no time needed to let it sink in, it was just a switch that went on immediately, never to be switched off again. So thanks to my stent I learned to cope with it, but given that I quite often dislike this fetish, I consider it an external force that has set me on this path. Option 3. How about you?

Hello! I am WolfDreams or YourRisingStorm, but you can call me "Jazz." I am a 30M autist who is quite shy around others despite my extremely outgoing personality. My hyperfixations include anime/manga (namely Beastars, One Piece, & The Rising of the Shield Hero), aviation, cute things, geography, geopolitics, history, ice hockey, plushies (my favourites are in my arms in the following picture), roleplaying, sports card collecting, and Transformers. Yes, I am a babyfur but I have not yet settled on a character to represent me. Currently a grey wolf or a Pembroke Welsh corgi will suit me fine. It's lovely to meet you all. ❤️

Weather is like a diaper. If you wait long enough it's sure to change.

Kayla sat there as lutz did her hair she was really pissed at how Lutz made sure she was treated just like a baby like she couldn’t do anything! As she was sitting there she was thinking how she had everything taken from her and she could no longer do anything like she was helpless.. ”Yeah I’m sure you will!” She said rolling her eyes with plenty of sarcasm.. “When is my mom coming back?” Kayla knew she still had that stupid letter to write..

“No, only big girls are able to dress themselves, and as you said earlier, you’re a baby and you need to be dressed by me” Luz smiled as Kayla sat down in front of her. ”Ok, let’s get your hair done” She started brushing her hair and putting it in braids “You’re going to look very cute, I’ll make sure to take a nice photo for your mommy, maybe I’ll make it my Lock Screen on my phone”

I haven’t used a toilet properly since I was 9 years old . I only use them to empty my diaper or to be sick in . I have a toilet seat and potty but even those are not used much now days.

Luz hummed a nursery rhyme as she dressed Kayla, the skirt was so short that her diaper was on show and the T-shirt was something a child would wear. ”There, perfect” She frowned and pointed at Kayla’s hair. ”What style shall I put your hair in…hmm, pigtails or braids…” She went to the dresser and picked up the hairbrush ”come sit down so I can sort your hair”

I'm in diapers permanently and I use them for the same reason babies use them. I use them as intended and that means for all my poops and pee. Since I am not potty trained I am required to be kept in diapers and I am not allowed out of them. Diapers are why I am an adult baby.

“I’ll be good and my grades will be great!” She said sounding like a baby everyone was making her be! She blushed as lutz patted her diaper it felt like so many things were being said with the patting. One she was a baby two lutz could spank her whenever she wanted three I own you I’m in control “Ok.” Kayla was relieved to finally be getting dressed!

“That’s what you’re hoping anyway, I’m sure your mommy will be looking at your grades and behaviour” Luz smiled and patted the bottom of Kayla’s diaper ”Come on crinkle butt, let’s get some clothes on you” She led her out to her bedroom and began rifling through the closet for clothes, picking out a miniskirt and flowery T-shirt

Kayla hated how Lutz talked down to her and she hated how her diaper crinkled she hated it all.. “Mphh n-!” She cried as lutz held her tightly kissing her even putting her tongue in her mouth she tasted the cinnamon gum that Lutz was chewing.. Only when Lutz let her go was she able to be free of her.. ”Hey you c- can’t d- do that No I like boys!” She stuttered nervously trying to catch her breathe.. N- no I’m not I won’t be a baby after this month is over my grades will be improved and I’ll be good!” She protested

Is that the current temp or the projected temp? Because it's only 54 F/12 C here right now, mid 70s/20s later on. Even colder tomorrow.

Luz smiled as she heard the crinkles and saw how awkward Kayla looked as she came near. “Good girl, I think you’re starting to learn just who is in charge of you” As Kayla kissed her, Luz put her hand at the back of Kayla’s head to stop her pulling away. after a few seconds she stopped and smiled “I bet you liked that didn’t you. That’s the kind of attention you’re going to get for a long time”

@babybuddha To me and probably many here who also use diapers for comfort and against anxiety and stress etc., it makes perfect sense 😊 I prefer wearing bib overalls, jumpsuits and footed sleepers etc. because it feels comfortable and makes me feel young at heart👶

Just bought some more Little Kings and a pack of Teddy Ultra recently. And now these…😊 I have to try them! Your post is a strain on my diaper budget 🤣

Nightly, doesn't bother me. 24/7 anyway. Used too, lol.

Part Twenty Cassidy was dressed and in clean underwear. All things considered, she knew she should be grateful. It was certainly a step up from wearing soaked pull-ups or standing around naked outdoors. And, while the unicorn shirt was girly and immature, it was low key probably what she would have chosen if her current outfit and the fairy costume had been held up side by side. That kind of thinking was dangerous, as it made her realize that there were boxes of old clothes in the basement back home that would have worked just as well for the scheme that Audrey had suggested. Retrospect was almost as much of a bitch as her sister was, however, and Cassidy needed to remember that there was a degree of time pressure that had been under that morning. Blaming herself wasn’t fair, when this was all clearly Audrey’s doing. As Margot walked her back to the more public area of the daycare tent, Cassidy appreciated her change of clothes less and less. There really hadn’t been something better for her to wear? Then again, it’s not like a Lost and Found would be rich with clothing options. The only reason there was anything in there at all was probably because the Renaissance Faire was a place that involved changing into costumes. She could easily see some girl dropping her shirt after dressing up and not realizing it until hours later. Cassidy had already suggested the costume rental thing for herself as an alternative, but Margot had dismissed the idea immediately. Not only would it leave her coworker without assistance for even longer, but Margot also pointed out that Cassidy didn’t have a means of paying for said rental. Cassidy didn’t even bother asking Margot for a loan. Even if the dark haired girl actually believed they were the same age, it would be asking a lot. Trusting a stranger you just met with the kind of money required for bloated costume rental costs? Unlikely. No, Cassidy was wearing the best that she was going to get. “Hey, everyone?” Margot announced to the small group of ‘kids’ that looked to be around Cassidy’s false age. Was it too late to run away and hop the fence? Cassidy actually didn’t know which was worse–having a girl Audrey’s age think that she was younger than she was, or having girls actually that age believe it. She was dealing with both at the moment, of course. The only silver lining was that this demographic had their own corner of the large tented area, no doubt because they were too mature for all the kiddie games designed for the children that had been dropped off. The three youths Margot took her to had to have been checked in just like Cassidy had. Temporarily handed off so their older family members could see some of the more explicit shows, while not trusting them to roam about on their own. One of the girls was in costume, albeit a very simple one. Some kind of huntress design, which Cassidy guessed was thrown together at home with various outfit pieces and accessories. The other girl was wearing casual summer clothes, as was the lone boy that stood with them. None of them were siblings as far as she could tell. Just three young individuals that were stuck together due to circumstance. Either overprotective parents, or troublemaking family members who couldn’t be left alone. Similar to the slightly more mature way Margot had been talking to her, at least when Cassidy had been cooperating instead of complaining, Margot continued, “This is Cassie. She’ll be joining you for a while. With four, you can definitely-” The young huntress scoffed. “No, thanks. We just want to hang out. Unless Cassie’s into silly games?” While the girl had started with a look towards Margot, her gaze shifted right away to the pink clad Cassidy. Expectant, and a bit judgmental. So the girl in costume was the one taking all this the least seriously? Interesting. “I’m good with whatever,” Cassidy said. She wasn’t lying. The objective at this point was to just wait it out until Audrey returned. She almost corrected Margot’s introduction, but being ‘Cassidy’ to people she’d never see again wasn’t worth the risk of giving Audrey an excuse to somehow make things worse if she found out. “See?” the same girl said, “Thanks but no thanks, Margot. We’ll give you a call if we need you!” To her credit, Margot didn’t even bat an eye. “As you wish. Just stay in your area and-” “No jailbreaks. We got it.” “And behave,” Margot concluded. With that, she turned and headed off towards the more crowded area of the tent with a group of younger kids who seemed to be in the middle of a game led by who Cassidy assumed was the Paula referenced earlier. Cassidy noticed right away how excessive the term ‘jailbreak’ was. She and the other three had more or less been left completely alone, and it’s not like the nearby fence was a particularly challenging climb. Any of them could easily hop it and make a break for it if they wanted to, at the expense of getting into trouble with whomever had dropped them off. Of course, Cassidy had her own motivations for not trying to run. With no keys, wallet, or phone, she was completely dependent on Audrey at the moment. The trio she had been left with probably had their own reasons for staying as well. Despite being in college and too old to care what teenagers thought of her, Cassidy immediately felt self conscious as she became the center of attention in Margot’s absence. Because in their eyes, she was very much not a college girl. “Umm, hey,” Cassidy said. At least with Margot, she could relate with her even if Margot didn’t view her as a peer. This was different. “Hey, yourself,” the huntress said. She placed a hand on her hip and looked Cassidy up and down, “Cute outfit.” Cassidy couldn’t stop a blush from forming on her cheeks. “It’s not mine.” She glanced away with a slight grimace, before blurting out the first lie she could think of that offset as much blame as possible. “Someone spilled their drink on me, and Margot insisted on the Lost and Found.” Common enemy, right? If Cassidy was going to be stuck in this area, she doubted she could just twiddle her thumbs in the corner now that Margot had so blatantly introduced her. While she wasn’t particularly interested in relating to the group she was stuck with, the least she could do was have on her side enough to not bother her. Since she was actually a young adult, such a tactic came pretty easily to Cassidy even if she wasn’t manipulative like her sister. Huntress girl didn’t like Margot? Lean into that. And it seemed to work right away. “Margot insisted,” the girl echoed, “Too bad you didn’t have me around.” Cocky. Cassidy had to fight the urge to scoff herself. Typical teenager, thinking she’s all that when it comes to rebelling against authority. The fact that she was tossed into daycare undermined that attitude pretty hard. “Yeah,” Cassidy replied. Anything more than that would risk sarcasm creeping in, “So, we’re just stuck waiting?” “Pretty much. I’m Quinn, by the way.” “Cassidy.” Whatever. Fuck Audrey. Quinn briefly introduced the others, before gesturing for Cassidy to join their circle. First, a diaper change. Now, she had to casually hang out with teenagers like she was one of them. ------------------------ Check out my website: www.ladyluciastories.com And my Patreon: www.patreon.com/user?u=73056590

The following story was created for 'The 3rd Kasarberang's NON-CONtest'. ______________________________________________________________________________________ “This will be the last time I stop by Leah… I miss you so, so much. But I need to go now.” “I… Hope that wherever you’ve gone is a better place.” “It’s just that my heart breaks at the thought that place is not with me-” “-and that I may never join you.” ~~~ A Succubus is said to be a feminine demon or supernatural entity that appears in the dreams of men to drain them of their ‘vitality’ to survive. At least, from a classic interpretation. Modern depictions tend to paint them as less demonic. Fun loving creatures looking to spread sin for sin’s sake. Popularized and made friendly for audiences of popular culture. The truth is that for as long as humanity has existed on this vast expanse of rock, so too have we. Our lustful physiques birthed from their mental energies, emotions, and desires. And unless we continue to consume the forces that gave us being, we will perish. We find ourselves in an evolution arms race against humanity to better feed off them. In more conservative eras and locales, Succubi would be born to cater to the demographic. Perhaps a Succubi dedicated to classical taboos; adultery, provocative clothing, or even (location depending) homosexual relations. In the modern era with the advent of fast convenient travel and the internet, Succubi are born even more specialized. Catering to specific niche interests, kinks, and fetishes which the spread of ideas has proliferated across the globe. Ours is a hierarchical society. Succubi born of kinks more mainstream or known throughout history are well respected and powerful, as they have general appeal. Those on the other end of the spectrum can have it rough. I would know. My specialization is ABDL. I am a Mommy-Dom. It was in the latter half of the 20th century that I came to be. Thrown into a cold and unforgiving world when enough humans had developed this kink. And while the appeal continues to grow with the internet, it is not mainstream enough to grant me the power or respect others wield. … It’s time to put this little self-reflection aside. There are more important things to focus on. Like finding a human. One to hold. To adore. To feed from and have feed from me. I’ve moped around like a lost puppy for a year and I’m more than a little starved. My leathery, black wings carry me through the warm nighttime sky of the mid-western United States. Perhaps I’ve picked a bad direction to head in… Or perhaps I’ve flown in circles. Despite having flown for what must have been half a day there’s still nothing in sight. Just the occasional house separating vast fields of corn and beans. Hmm... What I need is a… Aha! Off in the distance the first sparkles of city light reflect in my eyes. I zip down to the edge of the city. A quiet, desolate location to work on my appearance. Using the glass of an abandoned storefront I take inventory of my reflection. Obscuring much of my 6ft tall frame is a black dress that ends just above my knees. It’s strapless, so it shows off not only my toned tan legs, but also my arms and shoulders. The girls, my leaky 36DD breasts, rest secured in their lacy black strapless maternity bra. My black hair runs straight and down to my shoulders, bangs swept to the right. Eyes, currently a very dark brown. Of course, the dress has no back allowing my wings to come and go as I please. Below the dress my long, thin tail pokes out. It ends with a triangular point. And perhaps least impressively, my black and white tennis shoes. If anyone were to guess by looking at me, my age could range between mid-20’s to early 30’s. … Needing to look my best I smooth my hair over. Ensuring not a strand is out of place. A deep breath in, and then an exhale. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. With a quick hop, I’m back in the air. Going slow to avoid undoing my work. This time aiming for the city’s downtown. Flying through the city proper, I spot signs of another Succubus’ presence. Namely marked humans and buildings, signs that only we can see. It would seem a powerful one has claimed damn near the whole city as her territory. Following the signs leads me to an alleyway. The location she greets visitors. I land, gracefully, and step inside the dark hall. Wrapping my tail around my right leg and tucking my wings back as a submissive gesture. My shoes squelch on the damp pavement. The skittering sounds of pests in the trash and distant city noise my only company. I’m alerted by the sound of rustling chains. No longer am I alone. In the shadows I sense they’re ready to ensnare me at a moment’s notice. “For what purpose and with what tidings have you come here. To my domain.” A cold, unwelcoming voice calls out from above. With difficulty I can make out her form hovering silently in the overhead darkness. She’s shorter but far stronger than I. Inherently I can tell her specialty is Masochism. She’s a Sadist. S&M is a genesis kink; for as long as humans have existed so too have they found pleasure in pain. There’s is no telling how old the Succubus before me truly is. It could range in the thousands or greater. “Greetings, your grace. I am but a humble wanderer captivated by your city. Truly its sight is second only to you.” I stifle the dread and fear and pressure her presence instills. Then I take a respectful, slight bow and speak confidently with a silver tongue. She pauses. I feel her eyes burrow into the top of my head. “Hmph. You have manners on you. How long do you intend stay, wanderer.” Another question spoken in an unquestioning way. “Truthfully, I had given it no thought. If the sight of one such as I displeases you… I can be on my way.” “I see.” Her gaze pulls away as she mulls my response over. A breath I’d been holding escapes. Nearly a minute passes before she resumes speaking. “Your stay is permitted so long as you adhere to my rule and keep from my targets.” She doesn’t view me as a threat. One of the perks of not embodying a more popular kink. Or maybe one with power such as her can afford to feel pity or generosity, however slight. “I thank you wholeheartedly, your grace.” She was gone before I’d finished. Doubtless to partake in her definition of fun or defend what she’s deemed hers from less compliant Succubi. I exit the alley mightily pleased that ‘negotiations’ didn’t break down. Negative vibes shed from my mind now that the difficult part is over. Now is the time for shopping. ~~~ A quick peruse to get the lay of the land has made it quite clear that my darling host has picked clean the best this city has to offer. Her picking of all potential Masochists in the city has left me without easy targets. ABDL in some respects can be related to the humiliation aspects of Masochism, therefore allowing me an easy ‘in’. But it’s fine. It’s fine! I’ll still make this work, and hey, besides… I say cracking the egg is the most fun part of making the omelet. I just need the right person… The right egg… A beefy man? No. I prefer ladies and a meathead is no fun. A married woman? No, not my wheelhouse. A college student? Hm… There’s potential, but their schedules can put a damper on things. An older person? It could work but there’s an energy concern… And our time together would be rather short… While I observe the passersby on the street and rule them out, the ideal human starts taking shape in my mind. An adult woman ideally under 40, already established in a career with no relationship, preferably homosexual or bi. Most importantly she must not have already been selected by the city’s Succubus. My heart and breast ache in tandem at the thought of this perfect, mystery human. The mental image of them suckling and consuming a part of me as it goes to work inside them. Binding us together… … Focus. With a blink of my eyes my perception of vision shifts. The mental signatures of humans capable of fulfilling my criteria float about in a trail that will lead me right to them. I spot nine potential threads leading off in different directions throughout the city. ~~~ The four closest leads took me to apartments and a hotel where I could quickly gather information on the occupant. I am particularly picky, so none received passing marks. It may not be in Succubus nature, but I prefer to bond for life when able. Having exhausted the residential options in close proximity, the next lead takes me a bit aways to a long lane of businesses and eateries. Specifically, into an upscale Italian restaurant. That’s where I spot her. 5ft tall. In her late twenties. Long dark brown hair tied up into a ponytail. Glasses over her green eyes. Average build on the thinner side with a smaller albeit noticeable bust. She looks like she just got off work, wearing a tailored dark grey suit with slacks and loafers. Seems business oriented. Probably working in management. The read I get on her mental energies is very mature and adult. However, there’s something buried beneath. A certain lost sadness. And a string to unravel. The kind of thing I love to see in a target so seemingly mature. She’s perfect. Physically the spitting image of my type. Mentally something to work with, something to nurture. She needs me. I am enthralled. With my inherent presence masking I walk in undetected and stand close to her. It’s all I can do to not place a hand on her shoulder. Instead, I listen in on her mind, grasping at her active thoughts as they spill forth. [Another wasted Friday night… Hopefully they bring the check soon.] My fixation on her breaks and for the first time I look at the table. She’s on a date. A man seated directly opposed to her prattles on excitedly. Snatching glimpses at her barely exposed bosom. Glimpses she clearly takes note of. [Going to need a smoke before I catch a ride home.] Ooh an oral fixation. And a convenient chance to catch up with her... My how the stars align! The date ends without much fuss or flair. She nods her head and smiles lightly when appropriate. He offers to pay for their meal, but she firmly pays her own way. While she informs him that she had a lovely time she dodges the attempt at a hug before departing. Alone, purse in hand. I watch as she walks down to the end of the street where she stands near an ashtray at a designated smoking area. Needing to prepare, I stop by the alley next to the restaurant. Quickly I become visible, hide the tail and wings, manifest a large purse (my diaper bag), and exit. Now heading in her direction. As I draw closer, I feel her attention shift from her cigarette to me. Her eyes lingering around my bust and thighs which peek out above and below my outfit. [Damn. I wish I’d gone out with her instead.] The stray thought pulls a smirk out of me. We can make that want a reality. Now within earshot I call out to her in a playfully sarcastic tone. “No one ever told you that smoking is bad for pretty little things like you?” Her eyes widen slightly in surprise as she plucks the cigarette from her mouth and knocks ashes into the tray’s sand. “I suppose I didn’t hear it enough. You work with kids?” A question directed at me; she’s interested. Taking notice of the large pastel pink bag around my shoulder and attributing my words to my profession. “You could say that. I actually just got off the clock doing some late nannying. What about yourself?” “I manage the marketing team for the city’s tourism initiatives. Got off late and had a bit of a dinner thing.” Aha, I knew she looked the managerial type. “Wow, really? I’m new ‘round here. Perhaps sometime you could show me around or give me a recommendation on a place to grab a drink.” She takes a long drag of her cigarette. Thinking. [Should I invite her out now? Wasn’t going to do much but maybe drink at home anyway.] Hearing this little conflicted thought I continue and give her a slight nudge. “Actually, I’m feeling a little thirsty now…” I say, adding a slightly sultry tone to my voice. A powerful hint that is not lost on her. Her nearly spent cigarette gets extinguished into the ashtray’s sand. And she blows a plume of smoke away from us. “You know what? I could go for something too. Want to join me Ms…” She trails off. Her cheeks tinge red at the realization that we’ve yet to exchange names. I chuckle and answer. “My name is Lilith.” She smiles and puts out a hand that I shake. “You can call me Eve.” ~~~ “Myyy god, you’re shhooo good at drinking!” “Oh, I don’t know about that. Good company helps it go down quicker.” We’ve been knocking back drinks for more than an hour now. Shots, beer, mixed drinks. A bit of everything. She’s pushed herself to match me drink for drink. I can taste it. However, I couldn’t feel a buzz if I tried. Eve on the other hand… She’s told me a fair bit about herself as her inhibitions have weakened. Both in conversation and in mind. · She’s alone in an apartment [her ex moved out three years ago]. · She really likes this bar [the drinks are cheap]. · Her work is going well [personal life not so much; hard time finding friends or ‘good’ dates]. · From age 10 she all but raised her younger siblings [she doesn’t see her family much anymore]. · She complimented my dress [she enjoys the view of my tits]. While the last point made me happy to hear… The second to last point piqued my interest. It must be the ‘something extra’ buried in her. My instincts were on the money, she’s the one for me. Polishing off the last of her amber drink, Eve places the glass down and calls it. Wincing at the burn as it slides down her throat. “I thinkkkk I’m good to go. Come with?” [Please let her come!] “Of course. We’ll go back to yours.” My hand moves from our table and lightly rests on her thigh. Tracing up her leg and ending at her lower body. Her face flushes pink. While she’s aroused, I detect a hint of dissatisfaction that she didn’t take initiative. “I-I’ll get our tab.” Eve’s already digging around her purse for her card. I stand and carefully pull her chair from the table. Then I bend at the waist and whisper into her ear. “Already paid dear, lets head out.” Shuddering despite herself she stands up quickly. Now adding embarrassment on top of arousal. I drink the feelings up. Making her feel small is helping tune it to something more filling for me. Eve takes the lead. Grabbing my hand and leading us out of the bar. “My apartmench’s jus a few blocks away. S’ not a bad walk.” While the woman’s speech contains the occasional drunken slur of her words, her motor skills seem no worse for wear. As we parade on to her abode, I am treated to the turbulent thoughts in her head. [What was with that smooth move she pulled?] [No one’s ever done anything like that to me…] My mouth contorts into a slight smile as we walk. It’s all I’m able to manage without it taking up my entire face. Despite her conflicted thoughts she’s able to play it cool externally. Pointing out some of the other establishments she frequents on the street and what businesses the tourism initiative places emphasis upon. We arrive at a large complex with multiple gated entrances. From her purse Eve produces a key fob which she places onto a thick albeit fancy metal gate. She swings it open, holding the door for me. We’re basically in an alley, with apartment doors on the left and right. I’m led three doors down on the left where she takes a key on the same ring as the fob and unlocks the door. We place our shoes on a rack, and I get a good look at the place. It’s a one-bedroom apartment with the kitchen being the first area you enter. It has an island with stools and all other modern amenities. Next to the entryway door is a large glass sliding door, behind which is a washer and dryer with related supplies. There’s a long L-shaped couch with its back to the kitchen facing a coffee table and a TV. To the left of the couch, taking up both living room and kitchen space, is a small 4-person dining table. There’s a door at the far end of the room next to the TV. True to her earlier thoughts, I see no evidence of her family on the walls. In fact, the apartment is devoid of personal belongings. “Don’t mind the mess, I wasn’t expecting anyone.” “What, it’s spotless!” I say incredulously. Not a spec of dirt in the entryway, a crumb in the kitchen, or a pillow out of place in the living room. She does live here… Right??? “How about I show you to the bed…” Once more my hand is in hers as she pulls me through the apartment to the door on the other side of the room. Her bedroom consists of a king-sized bed, a sliding door closet, a night table with lamp on one side, and a dresser with 4 shelves and a mirror on top directly opposite the bed. There’s another open door to the left that leads to a bathroom. We’re barely in the room before Eve’s stripping away her clothing. Leaving herself in just a set of light grey cotton panties and sports bra as she sits seductively on the bed. I place my diaper bag on the floor. As I sit on the edge of the bed, she pounces on me. I allow myself to be pinned down. One of her hands is supporting her upper body while the other fondles my breasts. Her knee is pressed between my legs. And her mouth is pressed against mine in a deep kiss. For a petit girl, she’s full of energy. [Oh fuck! Oh god~] Our lips separate as she sits up to catch her breath before going in for more. I stop her, my hands on her shoulder. She’s had a taste, but now it’s time to work. “Before we continue Eve, do you need to use the potty?” My tone of voice deathly serious. She looks at me incredulously. “Hah, no I don’t need to ‘use the potty’.” “Okay, just thought I’d make sure before we start.” Eve shrugs, quickly putting my strange question aside, and presses her body into mine. My hand cups her cheek, my mouth just inches from hers. I speak again. “Sleep.” Her body goes limp at my command. Her head falling fully into my hand. Carefully I pick her up off me and place her onto the bed. Many other Succubi would take this opportunity to make her into whatever they want. Perhaps mind control into thinking she’s always wanted whatever they’d planned for her. But that’s no fun and unnecessary. She is the one I want. Not a mindless puppet. I yank my dress down enough to reveal my strapless maternity bra in its entirety. The outer layer of the bra’s left cup pulls down revealing bare breast. A bead of milk from my swollen nipple drips onto the bed. Carefully I maneuver her such that I’m cradling her torso in my arms. It only takes a little toying with her slumbering, susceptible mind before she’s dreaming that she’s puffing away on a cigarette. Her lips pucker in response. Holding her close to the nipple is all it takes for her to begin sucking away. My warm milk entering her little tummy and getting to work. Fuck it feels so good. Her warmth in my arms. The warm little breaths from her nose on my breasts. The sensation of her mouth around my areola and tongue on my nipple. How I’d missed this so. Looking down I can’t help but admire how utterly adorable she is… Gone is the adult I’d entertained just minutes prior… She’s a baby. My baby. And soon enough she’ll come to know it as well. If I have my way her ass is going to be calling me Mommy before the weekend is through. She’ll be draining both breasts every night. She needs this. I know she does. Just as much as I do. I feel myself grow wet at my own racing thoughts. My breath quickens. My entire body feels electrically charged. … A glimpse of what sight reflects in the mirror opposite the bed stops me in my tracks. My transformation’s undone. My wings are arched back in ecstasy and my tail is winding down her arm. I need to calm down. It’s been a while since the last time, but I need to stop. I won’t lose against these starving, instinctual urges. I will not hurt her. Having regained control my physical Succubus traits recede. The overpowering Mommy Dom haze retreats to the edges of my mind. Any more milk and the effect will be too strong too soon. She needs to build up a tolerance otherwise I’ll baby brain her. The last thing I want. With an audible pop I pull her away. A string of transparent-white milk mixed spittle runs from my nipple to her lips. With a chuckle I wipe it away. She only took a few gulps. But it’s all that’s needed for my milk to start doing its job. She’s marked and we’re connected now, Eve and me. Our bond aside, the milk will make her a little malleable and compliant tomorrow, but not overly so. Just enough to ease her into things. And… A slight hiss and trickle sound fills the quiet room. Her panties go dark as urine spills out past the thin cotton and onto the bed sheets. “Tsk tsk, I thought you said you didn’t have to use the potty…” I say aloud to no one, all the while smiling to myself. Once off the bed I bend down to the floor and grab the diaper bag. I reach a hand in and grab exactly what I need. An adorable pair of brightly colored training pants. Purple all over with pink, red, and blue flowers decorating the front and back with fade-when-wet designs along the legs. Unceremoniously I de-panty the soaked girl. Using powder and wipes, also from the bag, to clean her up for beddy time. My hand gestures up and the girl floats a few inches above the bed. Enough room for me to strip the bed of its sheets. Those go in the washer. With a little digging in her closet, I find a spare blanket to wrap around the two of us. With all business tended to; I pull the outer layer of my left cup back up, readjust my dress, and lay down next to her for the night. I pull her smaller body into mine. With much glee I give her bottom a crinkly pat before wrapping the arm around her. ~~~ Needless to say, I didn’t sleep a wink… Not that I need to. My excitement for the morning and her reaction was high all night. At 9am I finally got my wish as the smaller girl I’ve been spooning began to rustle around in my arms. “Aaahhnn…” “Good morning sleepy head.” In response to her yawn, I offer a playful greeting. “Good morning, I uh hope I didn’t keep you from getting up.” “It’s no problem, I like to lay about on weekend mornings anyway.” Eve nods her head in understanding. I lift the arm still draped over her and she rolls out of my grasp. With this newfound freedom she stretches, and her body audibly creaks and cracks in places. As she moves and shifts her legs a confused expression takes shape on her face. She tosses the blanket aside and stares down at the garment I changed her into last night. “Wh… What!? What the hell am I wearing!?” [Is that a diaper!?] “Sweetie, do you remember what happened last night?” I speak in a concerned and apologetic tone. Her head swivels to me. She opens her mouth about to retort but stops, thinking. “No… I remember the kiss and then nothing.” “Well sometime last night after sex, I woke up to you having a little accident. You were out of it, so I cleaned you up and put you in one of the spare pull-ups from my bag just to be safe.” “You’re kidding, I-I’ve never done anything like that! There’s no way! I… I-” Her voice rises slightly. The emotions she’s giving off are a mix of embarrassment, denial, and anger. I breath them in deeply. All part of the process. Then I place a reassuring hand atop hers. “Baby, baby, it’s okay, shhh… You just had a lil too much to drink, it happens to big girls all the time.” “I… Uh… W-Where did you put the sheets…?” My words and tone help a little. Her emotions cool down; still there but just lessened. Her reaction fills me with joy. She’s too frazzled to object to being talked to like a child that had one bad night of potty training. “In the washer, I didn’t start it since it was too late for the noise.” Quickly she hops off the bed and scurries into the other room. My eyes home in on her adorably padded rear as it moves with her steps. I notice something right away that she’s yet to realize. Following her I see she’s thrown open the washer. A frown on her face and her brow crinkled. [Oh my god… It does smell like piss. What the fuck…] Acting as though she wasn’t confirming the state of her sheets, she pulls out a detergent pod from a shelf and gets the laundry started. I sneak up behind her and just as the laundry starts, I place a hand near the rear of her training pants. Almost between her legs. My hand cups the cloth-esque garment with a slight squish rather than a crinkle. The flowers are mostly faded from the design. “Eep!” She squeaks, jumping forward, before turning back to face me with a surprised look. I point down to her disposable underwear and fill my voice with faux sympathy. “Oh Eve, I think it was more than just the one accident last night.” Her hand shoots down to the crotch of her pull-up. Feeling the sodden garment for herself. Her face burns red in embarrassment. [I-I-I am not wearing a p-pissy pull-up in front of a date!] She stands quiet and still, shocked by the revelation. I act fast and push her along through the apartment by her shoulders. “Here, how about you take a nice hot shower and get cleaned up. Hm?” I lean down and whisper gently into her ears. Rubbing her shoulders gently as we go. Her body melts in my grip. And a feeling of relief crosses my nose. “Y… Yeah. Thanks, Lilith.” I drop her off at the bathroom and close the door behind her. Shortly after the water comes on, I get to work. A Mommy’s work is never done after all. I’ve got to put together an outfit for her. Out of my bag comes another flowery pull-up. I throw open her closet and start digging through her muted color wardrobe. Dress pants, jeans, khakis, etc. It isn’t until buried and hidden near the end of the rack, that I find a black knee-length skirt. Bingo. That goes next to the pull-up. Just in time because the sound of water ceases. Eve’s quick shower has come to an end. She steps out of the bathroom and seems almost shocked to see me sitting on the bed. “Oh, I... I thought you’d have left.” [Who would want to stick around for a grown woman that pisses herself after drinking too much?] “I’ve seen worse than this at work, silly girl. Besides you promised we’d hang this weekend and go out today!” I speak cheerily and excitedly at the prospect. It’s important to put her at ease that I’m unbothered by her lapse in control. This is the start of a precedent that should repeat several times today as the milk wrecks her potty training. Eve seems momentarily confused, clearly not remembering this fictitious promise. Her mind fills the gaps and ultimately, she accepts my words as truth. “Uh, okay. We can do that if you’re still interested then… Let me just get dressed first.” “I’ll let you get to it then! Though, Eve, I didn’t want to say anything but… I think you should wear another one of my pull-ups out today.” “Wait, what!? What are you talking about, I’m not going out in a fucking diaper!” With her tone raised she looks at me as though I’ve just grown a second head. I pick up the garment and hold it outstretched, putting it on display. “Oh Eve, it’s not a diaper, it’s a pull-up. And I wouldn’t have brought this up except you did have two accidents last night.” “I-I no! It wasn’t my fault!” “I know sweetie, I know. Maybe you had a bad reaction to a drink last night and you’re still processing it. Shouldn’t we plan ahead for that?” We stand in silence for a moment. I can see her process my words. Her eyes shifting from me to the childish padded panties in my hand. Ultimately, she shakes her head in defeat, giving in. “Yeah. Maybe it was all just something I drank… Okay. Alright, you win…” In these situations, I tend to. “I’ll leave you to it!” Cheerfully I place her pull-up into her waiting hands and step out into the living room. Closing the door behind me. While sitting on the couch I enjoy the thoughts Eve puts out. [Christ this is so much thicker than panties.] [Maybe I can get away with a pair of jeans…] [Fuck, you can totally tell I’m wearing training pants!] [Ugh, I really don’t want to wear the skirt…] Despite the groaning, moments later she steps out wearing the skirt and a dark grey polo. “That skirt really shows off your legs!” “I’m not a big fan of skirts. I don’t consider myself the type, I guess.” “Well, I think you look wonderful. How about some breakfast?” “I… Sounds good, there’s a pancake place around the corner. We can walk.” ~~~ Our long breakfast concluded with no major incident. I did take several opportunities to treat her rather childishly. Wiping her face with a napkin. Asking what she was going to get and then ordering for her. Discreetly asking if she needed the potty on our way out, she claimed not to [because she is an adult and doesn’t need a reminder]. Each time she would blush in the most adorable manner and look away to keep me from noticing all the while saying that I didn’t need to do that. The earlier outburst over her underwear aside, my milk seems to have been effective. It’s just before noon and Eve has called an Uber to take us to a botanical garden she enjoys. It turned out to be a short 10-minute drive out of the city. As we step out the car, I must admit that I’m quite impressed. Right next to the parking lot is a massive wood and stone building. To the right of that is a large pond, between the two is a walkway. A group of 5 geese peck about the grass nearby. “That’s the visitor center, they used to hold environmental talks and events there.” Eve gestures to the building I had noticed as we walk past into the park proper. “Ooh that sounds fun, I’d loved to have gone.” “And keep your eyes peeled around the edge of the pond.” “Hm? What do you- Oh!” Just as I had begun to ask, I spotted movement in the water at the edge of the pond. A massive koi fish. No, several. All in color mixtures ranging from white, red, and brown. “Aren’t they amazing? There are 2 other ponds here, but this is the only one with koi.” “They really are! I’m so lucky to have such an amazing and cute tour guide.” While speaking I quickly snatch up her hand and pull her body into mine teasingly. She blushes and pulls away… But continues to hold my hand. The second pond links up diagonally to the one near the entrance. Bushes blooming beautiful purple flowers dot the entrance to a bridge leading over the small patch of grass separating the ponds. “Look, turtles!” Eve points excitedly. A few feet away from the bridge, on an artificial log, are a group of 5 turtles. Sunning themselves in the warm weather. “They certainly look cozy. Maybe we should grab a log and see what the fuss is about.” “Ha, I think we should leave it to the turtles.” Past the bridge, further up the path we reach a crossroads. Eve pulls me to the right. “The last lake is in the other direction, but we should go this way first. I’m a bit thirsty and there’s a fountain.” True to her word off in the distance I see a set of water fountains in front of a brick building (bathroom) to the right of the path. There’s a tall, short, and even a pet fountain. On the left I see a gazebo surrounded by tall bushes with hanging baskets and vines surrounding it. The trail continues into the woods. Dropping my hand, she walks to the fountain and takes a long drink. I partake as well though just for appearances and to enjoy the sensation. “Come over here.” Eve says, after finishing her drink. She ushers me forward towards the gazebo. The shade of which offers respite from the glaring summer sun. Aside from the entrances on either side, it is a rather private. The plants offering coverage from anyone away from the entrance. I take a seat next to her on the bench that runs along the walls. After placing a hand on hers I speak genuinely. “This may be one of the nicest parks I’ve seen. Thanks for showing me.” “I’m glad you like it! It’s… You’re actually the first person I’ve brought here.” [Not even my ex came here.] “Wow you really know how to make a girl feel special!” “I don’t know… You just… It’s weird…” Eve stammers, as if not knowing where she’s going with this. Her mind is a bit of a jumble as well, her inner thoughts are just as choppy. Since we’ve sat down her knees have been bouncing, and her legs shifting between crossed and un-crossed. The girl is unconsciously antsy, but not from the words she’s yet to say. The movement stops and I’m certain of the reason. “Sorry to interrupt but you’ve been doing the potty dance, Eve. Do you need the potty?” “No, Lilith! Why do you keep asking like I’m some kind of-of… Oh! I-Yes!” She stands up quickly and carefully. Holding herself as she exits the gazebo and walks towards the bathroom across the path. There are 3 doors each with a sign. Men, woman, family. Before she can move to the Woman’s room, I steer her towards the family bathroom and open the door for her. I step inside and lock the door behind us. Eve hikes her skirt up to pull her training pants down. Unveiling the soaked garment to me. All patterns faded, and hanging down as far as it can stretch from the weight. A wonder it’d not been visible from under her skirt. Looking very much the role of a toddler that made it to the potty too late. In a way that warms my heart and pleases me. “Oh dear, you’re absolutely soaked…” I say in a voice full of sympathy. “What!? I haven’t even-“ Just as her retort began, it ended. Her eyes go wide and her body still. The familiar sound of trickling liquid fills the bathroom. And while perhaps her drenched padding could handle some more, it clearly could not handle the coming flood. Her pee dribbles out past the leak guards, running down her legs and into her socks and shoes. Mortified, her accident continued for half a minute, dumping the last of her morning’s beverages past her pull-up onto her lower half. [W-What did I… Again? In front of Lilith!?] Sniff. Sniff. Her small body shakes pitifully and wracks with silent sobs as she tries to hold back tears. Despite being part of the plan and energizing me, my heart aches at the sight. I rush forward. Embracing the girl in a tight hug. She attempts to push away and shouts in surprise, momentarily forgetting her misery. “N-No, don’t! You’ll get it on you!” “That’s not for you to worry about, Eve. Everything is going to be okay. Just let Lilith take care of everything.” She again willingly cedes control to me. Now rather than decide a course of action for her it’s to physically take care of the problem itself. I gently lower her down onto a changing pad from my diaper bag. Carefully to create as little mess as possible, I remove the bottom half of her outfit including her padded panties. Immediately her hands hover over her exposed bits. An attempt to obscure my view. I detect shame amongst her largely embarrassed feelings. I chuckle a bit and speak softly, intending to put the girl at ease. “Nothing I haven’t seen before. Move those hands up sweetie.” At my prompting she slowly raises her hands to cover her eyes. The wipes come out of the bag, and I get to work cleaning her private area. Adding some pleasurable maneuvers into the mix. She quickly becomes wet in a different sense, and the way she bites her lip as she attempts to ignore the pleasure is not lost on me. [O-Oh, not there! Not l-like that! It-It feeels sho…] Teasing aside, I finish up and work on the lower bits. A fresh wipe for each leg and her feet. Then I stand her back up. I kneel on the floor and dig in the bag a final time. Out comes a plastic bag to store her ruined clothing, a pull-up, clean skirt, and sandals all sized for her. “Left leg sweetie.” I hold the pull-up open and wait in front of the small girl. She grabs my shoulder for balance and lifts a leg as requested. With ease I thread it through the proper hole. “Last but not least, the right.” The other leg is up and through the hole in record time. As I rise off the ground, I slowly bring the training pant up her legs with me. Before it’s snugly wrapped around her bottom. I pass her the skirt and shoes before getting to work bagging her old outfit and cleaning up the floor where pee droplets fell. By the time I finish she’s dressed and flushed in embarrassment and arousal from my playing. But along with that are hints of gratefulness and affection. The negativity she felt at the start of the accident is a thing of the past. All in all, I’d say the first successful public change of many to come. Not that she needed to know that right now. “See, that wasn’t too bad, was it?” “N-No, I.. I can’t thank you enough… You didn’t have to…” “You’re more than welcome and it was no trouble! Now how about we sit back down, and we continue where we left off?” She nods gratefully in agreement, and we exit the bathroom. Leaving it as we entered albeit with a heaver trash bag. We sit back at the gazebo and Eve speaks more certainly than when she left off. Now feeling more certain and less distracted by her bodily needs. “It might be weird to say this but… So far, this weekend has been one of the best I’ve had in a long time.” [Even if I’ve pissed myself more than ever in my adult life.] She thinks the quiet part out loud. “Aw, I’m glad you’re having a good time because I am as well.” “Really it just feels so easy to talk to you. Like I’ve known you forever despite it only being like a day and a half... You… Have this way about you. I feel safe…” My left arm wraps around her shoulder and gives her other side a gentle pat. While I’d suspected and hoped that she’d begun to feel this way, hearing it aloud fills my heart with joy. “You deserve that, everyone does.” “Thanks for saying that but I probably haven’t felt this way since I was a little girl…” “Why is that, Eve? You’re more than welcome to tell me more about yourself, but I understand if it’s too painful a subject.” I want her to talk about it, but when the subject came up she started putting out a knot of tangled emotions. If I pull too hard on this she could close off. And I care too much to do that to her. “Mom, Dad, and I visited this place all the time when I was young. When it was just us. We… We were happy. The park… And you remind me of better times.” “And then you got a lot of responsibility when you were ten.” I say recalling our bar conversation from last night. She nods. “My first sibling came when I was five, but then twins came when I was eight. It was hectic, my parents couldn’t really afford a babysitter, so eventually I was put in charge while they worked all day into the late evening. Then to save money we moved away from the city... So, I couldn’t come here anymore.” “I’m so sorry sweetie… That’s a lot of responsibility to drop on someone so young.” “Yeah… And I haven’t really forgiven them yet. I guess that makes me a bit of a bad person, huh?” “No, of course not! You were hurt and you lost a very important time of your life. Nothing you’re feeling is wrong.” [That’s what the therapists have said… But it feels more validating coming from her…] Eve leans into my side hug. Resting her head against my breast. “That means a lot, thank you.” We sit in silence looking at nothing in particular. Me rhythmically rubbing her arm. Her listening in on the beat of my heart. I want this moment to last forever, and I believe she feels the same. As I’m struck with this feeling so too does melancholy creep in. The sensations and feelings, while overwhelmingly pleasant and amazing, act as reminders. How I’d felt this like this before, three times now. Perhaps it shows on my face, because Eve speaks again. As she peers up from her spot next to me. “I want to know more about you too, and if something’s bothering you… The least I can do is hear you out after dumping so much on you today.” I couldn’t possibly. “I… It’s been about a year since I lost something of my own. A someone.” But it comes out anyway. “Oh. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Lilith. You’ve done a lot for me already, if there’s anything I can do…” She’s sweet. I made the right choice with her that much is clear. “Thank you, sweetie, but I’m alright. Something about today just dredging up memories.” “Yeah… I know what you mean.” The silence resumes, somehow more comfortable than the last. As we enjoy each other’s physical presence in calming comfort. ~~~ “I don’t know about this…” “Come on, you’re going to look adorable! And I promise nobody is going to judge you for anything you wear.” Picking up the mood, I’ve dragged Eve along to the mall. Our next and final date location of the day. On the car ride over I was able to convince her into trying on some clothes outside her typical style as a form of retail therapy. A way to reclaim or experience the youth she’d never truly had. Standing in front of the changing room now, it seems that some second thoughts are creeping in. However, her trust in me outweighs her concerns. And she doesn’t know it, but I’ve used a little Succubus trick to reduce our perception at the changing room. Nothing will seem out of place to any potential watchers. “Okay, fine! But you better not give me anything too weird!” “Of course, sweetie. I’ll keep it only a little weird as requested.” An overly exaggerated groan is her only reply. I start off easy on her. Handing over t-shirts and pants in colors not seen in her drab collection. An easy way to initially break her out of her overly adult style. [Honestly it does look kind of cute… Maybe she’s right.] It only takes a little praise and encouragement before such thought fill her head as she’s trying on more colorful clothing. And looking absolutely adorable all the while if I may add. While spinning to get the full view of the outfit it was quite easy to see the waistband of her padded undies peeking over top of whatever pants she tried on. Easy outfits down, it’s time to start upping the ante. Now with outfits from the diaper bag, not the store. “Here, try this.” She takes the pile I pass in exchange for the last few she’d finished showing off. Once more her arms disappear behind the changing room’s door. I’m pleasantly surprised by a lack of vocal or mental grumbling. And eventually the curtain opens to unveil a blushing Eve in a frilly pink miniskirt and matching pink camisole. “Um, I don’t think I could wear this outside… But what do you think…?” “I think you’re the cutest woman in the mall and it’s not even a contest!” Her blush spreads at the praise as she spins around. With the skirt being so small I’m granted a perfect view of her pull-up. A few stars are missing. In my expert opinion she’s dry enough for now. The door closes and it’s not long before it opens again with Eve in the next outfit of the ‘advanced pile’. This time her small frame is covered by a pair of pastel purple overall-shorts and a white shirt with a series of pastel flowers sewn onto the left breast. “I don’t know… I think I like it but… You can definitely see something’s off with my butt.” She’s thrown a glance over her shoulder to the mirror on the wall behind. Her hand rubbing her puffy posterior inquisitively. “You mean it’s really good at showing off your assets! No one would suspect that you’re wearing protection and it’s not even noticeable.” [You know what, she’s right. My ass looks great in these.] A small white lie, it’s very noticeable. But she doesn’t seem to realize or care. Rather she’s emboldened by my words. “I think there’s two more left, but then we should get back to my place. We could order pizza or something.” “That sounds lovely!” With a smile she closes the door and begins stripping and throwing on the next outfit. My own excitement begins to rise at the knowledge of the last outfit. With how simple it is to put on the next outfit I didn’t have to wait long for the door to open and Eve to display herself. This time she’s in a grey cat themed footed sleeper. Due to its baggy nature her underwear is for the moment safe from prying eyes. “Meow!” She lifts her hands in a mock cat pose, smiling to herself. “What a pretty little kitty, lets make her even more catlike…” Stepping close I reach to the back of her neck where the hood’s bunched up. Once it’s in hand I flip it over her head revealing the outfit’s cat ears. She turns to face the mirror and laughs. The sound of which is music to my ears. “I can’t believe the store even had this!” Well, it didn’t. But she doesn’t need to know that. “Alrighty, one more to go and then we’ll go ourselves.” Eve disappears back into the changing room and the door closes behind her. It isn’t long before I start to pick up her confused thoughts along with some quiet muttering. [How does this work? I can’t get the buttons right…] My fist gently knocks on the door as I call out to her. “Sounds like there’s a little trouble in there. Need some help?” “Uh… Yeah, come on in.” With that only slightly hesitant invitation I enter the changing room and shut the door behind me. Eve’s standing in the corner outside line of sight from anyone looking through the door while it opened. She has the pastel yellow snap-crotch onesie on, but the buttons are horribly mismatched. “I think I see the problem.” “It’s a really cute bodysuit, I love the daisy and bee pattern! The buttons are a bit inconvenient though…” Uh huh, a bodysuit. She’s too precious. “It’s for a better fit, it can be a bit easier to have a lil help with them.” That said I kneel down and unsnap all the buttons. I lift up the front flap and get a close look at the state of her pull-up. Much damper than even a few outfits ago. She should make it back home, but she’ll need a change then. With practiced ease I thread the two flaps between her legs and snap the buttons into their appropriate match. As I stand back up I give the front panel of her training pants a quick pat over the onesie as a finishing flourish. As Eve inspects herself in the mirror I step behind and rest my hands on her shoulders. She relaxes back into my grasp as she runs a hand around the fabric that clings well to her body. [It’s comfortable, I feel nice.] “This was a good pick, Lilith. Though I kind of think I’d need pants with this, haha.” “Of course, I think the overall shorts would work great. Let’s try that.” Taking my advice, she allows me to assist her into the overalls. She’s cute as a button. And somehow the pastel purple of the shorts matches rather well with the pastel yellow of the onesie. It’s the kind of color pattern you’d see on a little girl like her. “Alright, it’s your turn now!” “Hm?” Rather than admire herself in the mirror, Eve instead gives me a mischievous look. “I’ve tried on so many clothes, I want you to try something I pick out for you at least once before we go!” “Sneaky girl, I bet the buttons were just a ploy to get me in here.” “Yeah, now you wait here, and I’ll be right back!” [I’d have figured them out eventually.] She bolts out of the changing room, leaving me alone. I’m not left waiting long however, because a few short minutes later a satisfied looking Eve reenters the room. Perhaps she saw whatever it was that she grabbed when we entered the store. “Here you go, I think you’re going to look great in this!” “Thanks, I can’t wait to see what you picked out for me.” Once the clothing is in hand, I give it a once over. Baggy ripped jeans and a baggy t-shirt with a wide neckline. Sort of a grunge look; must be a style she enjoys on others. Without waiting for her to leave I begin to wiggle out of my strapless dress in a seductive manner. As the dress pulls down it takes my bra down with it just far enough to give the currently captivated Eve a look at my leaking nipples. [Oh… Oh my god! Is-Is that…] Not caring to cover my breasts I step into the pants one leg at a time. While bent over in Eve’s direction I give her a good show as I slowly pull the jeans up to my hips. Her eyes hardly leave my boobs. Her mind is a mess of thoughts. So much so that I can’t grasp a single one. But the emotions she’s putting out are an overwhelming amount of arousal. By the time I readjust ‘the girls’ and get the shirt on Eve is bright red. I give the final outfit a quick look in the mirror. It’s honestly not bad, she picked out a pretty good one. The holes in the jeans are substantial enough around the knee to show off a good amount of leg. And the wide neckline of the shirt shows a tasteful amount of cleavage. Finished admiring myself I turn to Eve and ask her opinion. “What do you think?” “I-I think you’re beautiful! Holy shit…” “Aw you’re too sweet, you picked out a really good outfit!” “Thanks, I knew it’d suit you perfectly.” “How about we wear our outfits out.” “Oh? Um… Yeah, sure!” A flicker of hesitation crosses her, but a quick gaze at my figure stops any naysaying thoughts. “And don’t worry about paying for yours because I’ve already bought em’. I knew you’d be too cute in them to put them back.” “You didn’t have to do that! Thank you, Lilith, seriously.” Overflowing with sincere gratitude the girl wraps her arms around me in a hug that I eagerly reciprocate. One hand around her back while the other cups her puffy bottom. “It’s nothing sweetie, now how about we get back to yours and enjoy the evening.” ~~~ Leaving our long day out behind us we step back into Eve’s apartment. Well, I step in. She more waddles in. Her pull-up is no doubt close to bursting and with the onesie and overalls pulling the garment closer to her body, it’s forcing her into a wider gait. “Want to wait a bit on that pizza? Maybe chill on the couch and watch some shows?” Made all the more adorable by the fact that she doesn’t seem to notice or care in the slightest. “That sounds good to me, lets get you fixed up first.” “Fixed up? What do you mean?” She looks at me confused. In response I bend down and cup the crotch of her pants. Throughout the day she’s only grown more comfortable with my motherly actions, in no small part due to her ‘drink’ last night and our bonding today. It’s now culminated in her not even batting an eye at this. From my position I give a slight squeeze and through the fabric of her overalls and onesie an audible squelch can be heard that even Eve notices. Her cheeks grow pink at what it implies. “You’re very wet, we need to get your little soggy bottom changed.” “O-Oh, okay. I… Uh guess.” [I guess the training pants aren’t too bad, but it’s going to be nice to get into panties after this] As I lead her over to the living room, I chuckle to myself at her thoughts regarding her predicament. The only panties she’s going to be seeing for the foreseeable future are my own. I help her down to the floor and take my place by her feet. “Upsie daisy.” At my prompting she lifts her bottom off the floor so I can slide the changing pad under her rear and take off her overalls. Once the onesie is unbuttoned and flipped away, the perforated sides of the pull-up rip with ease. The thoroughly used garment goes into a plastic bag for disposal. Once we get her a diaper genie this will be so much simpler and convenient. Gently I wipe down Eve’s most intimate area. Going into every nook and cranny of her private parts. Despite her best efforts a slight moan escapes her throat. Her eyes gaze at me hungrily as she watches me work between her legs. Right on the cusp of completion I pull back, depositing the used wipes into the used pull-up bag. “Mmm!” A groan of complaint. The poor baby. I reach into the bag and pull out an adult diaper and powder. The diaper is a Little Kings to be specific. My personal favorite diaper to come out of the community. Looks just like a real baby diaper. My how we’ve come! Nothing like this existed when I first came to be. “Upsie daisy.” Again, I prompt her to lift her bottom. She complies on auto pilot. While she’s lifted, I unfold the diaper, give it a quick fluff, and place it beneath her. Gently I push on her lower tummy and ease her onto the thick padding. “Wait, huh?” Confused by the sensation on her bottom she lifts her torso off the ground, supporting herself with her arms. She looks at what I’ve done so far and gasps. “What the fuck!? That’s a diaper! What do you think you’re doing!?” “Woah sweetie, I think you need to calm down.” “Calm down!? You’re trying to put me in a diaper like I’m some kind of baby!” Apparently, she’s got a little fight left in her. But the setup I’ve done is doing wonders for me. Her arguing about her adult status in such a losing position is offering me quite the meal. Every emotion, all the energy, she gives off goes right to me where it’s charging me better than anything this weekend thus far. I’ve eased her into it so far. But this is the moment where it all comes together. “And?” “What do you mean ‘and’? I’m a grown u- an adult! I don’t need diapers and I certainly don’t need you putting me in one!” As Eve starts to push herself off the floor and stand, I grab her wrist. Keeping her from moving. Then I speak, with my most stern mother-like voice. “Are you a ‘big girl’? You’ve been pissing yourself aalll day, young lady.” “I-Wh… Fuck you! It’s whatever I had last night, it’s not my fault!” Uncertainty, embarrassment, and anger at being called out like that. Still rebellious but she’s feeling smaller. The small instinctual part of me, in the recesses of my mind, wants her to fight me like this forever. Harvest these powerful negative emotions. “You matched me drink for drink. If something was bad then where’s my wet pants, hm?” Her eyes go wide. She’d not yet put that together. I see the gears start to turn in her head. Internally she’s reaching for any excuse within grasp, and she gets one. Realization dawns on her face. “Y-You must’ve spiked my shit! You come over and I start pissing myself like a toddler and wearing pull-ups! Why else would you have so much baby shit that can fit an adult!?” It would make a reasonable point. If I wasn’t already prepared for such an accusation. “Now you’re really acting like a child. You were with me at the bar the entire night, I could not have done anything like that. And I told you I’m a nanny. Not all my clients are child sized.” I roll my eyes and throw her behavior back in her face. My delivery must’ve been impeccable because the wind visibly deflates from her sails. Before she says anything else I continue the offense, drunk on power. “And because I sometimes deal in adult toddlers I have a knack for telling when pretend big girls like you are full of it.” “N-No! You’re wrong! I-I am a big girl!” “Are you? Because I haven’t been out with a ‘big girl’ today. I’ll tell you who I was on a date with. A baby. A big baby girl. Someone putting on an adult front because she got hurt.” “No!” Her body tenses up, struggling to remove her arm from my grasp. The words are hitting home, I can see them impact her like physical blows. “Someone that allowed themselves to be treated like a baby because she enjoyed how it made her feel in her time of need.” “You’re…” The struggle stops momentarily. Eve’s body grows still as a slight look of concentration crosses her face. As fast as it came, it left. I smirk, with that she’s given me all the ammo I need to seal the deal. “Now if you’re done throwing a tantrum, I am putting you in this diaper, baby girl. Because you’re already dribbling onto the floor.” With a point from my free hand, I direct her attention to the floor where a small puddle is quickly growing beneath her on the wooden floor. She feels so incredibly small. So embarrassed. So stupid. The monster in me roars with satisfaction, high on the way she’s making me feel right now. “I… O-Oh…” [Maybe… Maybe I am…] All fight leaves her as she crumples in on herself. Still holding her wrist, I pull her forward onto the waiting diaper and away from the mess. While she sits quietly on the dry padding, I quickly wipe the puddle up with a hand towel. I lay her back onto the floor and touch her up again with the wipes. Then I powder her up and rub it into her skin. She gives no reaction. The front panel of her diaper lifts up and covers her belly button. I pull the left side up first, affixing the bottom tape. Then the bottom tape of the right panel. Finally, the top two tapes. With each index finger I run down the length of the padding’s leg holes, pulling at the gathers for maximum protection. And that’s it, her first actual diaper since infancy is on. I pat the front panel and speak up in a tone someone might take with a disobedient child. “See, is this so bad? What was all that fuss about?” “…” [It isn’t the worst but…] A mopey sounding thought is my only reply. Leaning forward I grab onto her limp arms and pull her into a sitting position. She looks everywhere but in my direction. Eyes red and puffy, she’d started silently crying during the change. [Why’s she being so mean…] Everything she’s poured into me during this struggle for domination has amped me up. I’m not only full but at my strongest. That said… Even through the fog of power and the temptations buzzing around at the back of my mind... That thought and the sight of her so sad and despondent cuts deep. The last thing I want is for her to feel like this. I don’t want to be this to her. As much as my instincts cry for it. This isn’t the way I want to be. It’s why it’s so important to drive home how much she needs this… Needs me. So we can both be happy together. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry I had to be a meanie… But everything is going to be okay.” As the words leave my mouth, I pull her onto my lap and cradle her in my arms. Left arm cradling her head while the right rubs her shoulder and back. She buries her head into my shirt. I feel a few loose tears soak into the fabric as she lets out a long shuddering breath she’d held in. [I’m pathetic… If this is what I am what does she even see in me…] “All this may seem a bit sudden… But I knew from the moment I saw you that you were a sweet little lady.” “…” “The other ‘adults’ I’ve worked with are a lot like you. Missing out on a part of their life. Compensating too much. Tiring themselves out. And like you, stifling that sweet little lady inside.” “M-Maybe… But why me… I can’t even make it to the potty…” I give the girl in my arms a gentle smile. She’s too cute. “I’ll change a billion of your diapers if you need me to.” “I… I don’t know what it means to really be myself.” “We’ll figure that out together.” “… Okay…” Just one small thing left. “Alright baby, lets make a quick trip to the bedroom before we order dinner.” “Eep!” I wrap my right arm under her rear and stand up. In sudden panic she wraps her arms around my chest. Once we’re in the bedroom I stand her up on her two feet. “We need to change your outfit, you got it a little wet…” Speaking gently, I point out the onesie flap that has a wet patch on it from her dribbly accident moments ago. “O-Oh… Um sorry…” “You don’t have to apologize, that’s why I’ve got you protected.” I give the top of her head a quick ruffle before I strip the onesie off her. Taking care to avoid touching her with the wet patch. It goes in her dirty clothes bin. She’s left mostly naked, wearing just her bra and Little Kings. While she looks down at herself, cheeks burning, I sit on the bed. “Come over here, Eve.” I pat the space next to me on my right. She waddles to the bed hesitantly, unused to the thick padding between her legs. As she crawls over me to get to my right side, I lightly pat her swinging bottom. I’m rewarded with a delightful crinkle and adorable ‘eep’ of surprise from the little one. As she plops down, I swing her down into a cradle. Exactly as I had done our first night while she slept. Her upper body supported by the crook of my left arm while her legs rest on the bed. [I kind of like this position… She’s so cozy.] While she stares up from her position in my arms I carefully remove the baggy shirt I’d worn out of the mall. The outer layer of the left cup of my maternity bra folds down. Like before in the changing room, her eyes go wide. Staring entranced at my breasts. I give her a second to appreciate the view and become used to it. Before springing the news on her. “Alright sweetie, I want you to have a little drink before dinner.” “I-I, woah! This might… Is too far, Lilith! There’s no way I could…” “Shhh… Don’t worry about a thing baby, just let go and relax in my arms. There’s no judgement. No fear. No worries. Just me and you.” Slowly I edge her upper body closer and closer to the waiting nipple. A bead of milk drops, landing on her meager chest. She’s barely resisting my gentle pushes. “N-No I…” Taking the chance, I pop the nipple into her open mouth. We sit like this for a short while. My breast in her mouth. Her doing everything in her power to not suck. Eyes closed. And most importantly, not biting. I didn’t even have to give her a warning. To break the deadlock, I take my right hand and massage my left breast around the nipple encased by Eve’s mouth. I feel a squirt of breast milk escape and enter the girl’s mouth. Her closed eyes shoot open in surprise. Her throat constricts and contracts, swallowing the milk on instinct. [I didn’t… I did not just drink that!] [What the fuck…] [W-Wait… It’s… Not that bad…] One after the other her racing thoughts come forth. Somewhat emboldened she gives a few tentative suckles. It’s not a great attempt because she’s trying too hard. Unlike the night prior when she was sleep-sucking on instinct and habit. However, she is rewarded with a good trickle of milk. [Oh my god… It… It’s… It’s amazing!] Of course. Outside of the regressive effects (both mental and potty training), my milk mimics the drinker’s most favorite flavors and tastes. It would be no lie to say it is the most delicious thing she’s ever had. And it shows. She loses herself in my breast. Desperately sucking away with her improper form. Her messy eating leaving small rivers of milk-spittle running down the sides of her mouth. I rub encouraging circles on her back with the arm holding her up. My right arm snakes down to the front of her diaper. The noisy sounds her suckling creates are soon joined by the sweet melody of her first accident in proper protection. A beautiful symphony to my ears and a lovely warmth against my hand. Looking down, I once again can’t help but admire the view. This beautiful, small girl. Wearing nothing but a small cloth around her chest and yellowed padding around her waist. Greedily drinking from me. With feelings of love, physical and emotional need, and happiness flowing off her and into me. Before I get too lost in the motherly sauce, I need to stop her from drinking too much. Gotta wean her onto it. I estimate that she probably drank just a touch more than last night. So perfect stopping point. Gently I pull her away with a ‘pop’. She looks up at me, momentarily confused as if wanting to know why I ruined a good time. I chuckle as I wipe her mouth and upper body clean with the shirt I’d removed. “Can’t have you getting too full now silly girl, we’re getting pizza after all.” “Ah… Um… Yeah…” As she pulls back out of the milk haze her face gains a slight blush as embarrassment sets in. With her still in my arms, I get off the bed. This time, holding her to my chest with her legs and arms wrapped around my body. Supporting her soggy bottom with a hand. I turn my head to the mirror opposite the bed. The motion grabs Eve’s attention and she looks as well. We’re quite the odd couple. Half and mostly naked. A boob popped out. Yellowed diaper. My amused face and hers content. Conflicted emotions run across her face as she soaks it in. [I really do look like…] She leaves the thought unfinished. But then again, she doesn’t need to finish it. In that moment I feel her energy and emotions shift. Like a puzzle piece popping into place. Acceptance. Of herself, of me, of this. I’m so proud of her. She’s taken this difficult day in stride and come out better than ever. Her body relaxes into mine. She lets out a long-exhausted sigh. Clearly tired from the struggle we’ve been in since arriving back at her apartment. [This feels right.] The hand on her bottom feels a sudden spurt of warmth. “You’re already almost soaked again kiddo! What am I going to do with you?” She replies without missing a beat, her voice only a little muffled from her face being planted in my shoulder. “I’d like a change and plenty of hugs and kisses.” ~~~ Half a year's passed since the weekend I met and 'adopted' my little Eve. She's come a long way into her second infancy, I'm so very proud of her. Can’t say it enough no matter how blushy it makes her. That Monday she called me Mommy for the first time. It was said on accident while she was half asleep. She was very embarrassed, and I was thrilled. Maybe I was a little off when I said it would happen by Sunday... But you can’t rush these things. The first couple of weeks Eve would get upset whenever we noticed that she'd had an accident in her diapers. But that was nothing that a little love couldn't fix. Usually, it only took a little reminder that I wasn't going anywhere, and that her new underwear did their job. Complaining and resisting over her 'feeding times' (however slight) only lasted half a week. She obviously loves the taste, but more than that she adores the intimacy. She's fully inoculated against its effect (though her potty training is shot), so I let her suck me dry every day. I’m just thankful we were able to swap her cigarette dependency easy enough for a little breastfeeding. Her other 'little' habits have come in gradually as we uncovered that side of herself. Thumb/paci sucking. Childish speech. Obsession with a particular stuffed animal. Enjoying media for tots. Cute clothing. And other little things that are very much her. That isn't to say that Eve's big girl days are numbered. Heaven's no. She's enjoying her big girl life now more than ever. It was 3 months ago that we decided it would be best if she quit her management job. It wasn't making her happy, it was stressing her out, and it's not what she really wanted to do with her life. Instead, she really wanted to work at the park. The same one she took me to on that fateful weekend. Help make it a special place for others to visit, like it was and is to her. And I'm again proud to say that she got the gig. Five days a week she's at the park doing all sorts of things. Giving tours, taking calls, working with the plants, feeding the fish, etc. Hell, she's even working on getting the old events and talks she once loved up and running again. I’m at the park now. Standing at the edge of the starting path, looking on as she plants a rainbow of colorful flowers into the beds around the main building. Visiting my hard-working baby on the job. Since diapers are her underwear of necessity, she's accepted skirts and dresses as her normal attire with help from a little prompting and praise from me. Today she's wearing a brown dress long enough to hide her babyishly printed pampers. The colors helping to disguise the dirt that is almost certainly going to end up on her as she happily scoops away with her trowel. The familiar sound of chains and a powerful presence breaks me from my reverie. She's behind me, the Sadist. While my guard is still up, I do not feel the same sense of dread I had in our last encounter. She's intentionally holding it back. Taking the lead in the conversation and turning around to face her, I speak. "To what do I owe-" At least, I try to. She has the appearance of a woman in her early 20's, 5.5ft tall, with small breasts. The outfit that adorns her is simple; a long white lace dress that's almost see-through and sandals. Her flesh is pale, almost white. Long white hair flows straight down, reaching well onto the ground. Pristine despite touching dirt. Facial features are mathematically perfect, flawless and dainty. Peach lipstick. Nail polish on pointed nails that match her lips. If it weren’t for her Succubus features, she’d look like a model. White feathered wings jut from her back. White horns grow from her upper forehead on each temple from between her bangs. They run 4-inches up and then bend into a curve going clockwise 'round her head. The curve of her right horn ends where the left begins in front of her head, and the curve of her left horn ends where the right begins behind her head. Giving the appearance of a crown, or rather, a halo. Contrasting her almost angelic appearance is her eyes. The iris and pupil blend together seamlessly into swirling black vortexes devoid of feeling or life. Pools of darkness that threaten to swallow me whole even as she holds back her power. Perhaps noticing the effect she’s having on me, the Sadist shifts her eyes away from mine. After the break in contact, I take a deep breath. Suddenly conscious that I had not since meeting her gaze. "I come with an offer." "I’m afraid I don’t understand." “I’ve watched you.” “…” “You have talent. And I find it a waste to allow such a thing wither out.” “I can’t help but feel I’m being overestimated.” The unnatural stillness she’d maintained ends as her head tilts to the side. “Few starving Succubi would be able to restrain themselves to your degree. Even less could have drawn out a human’s latent potential such as you have with that girl. That you believe I’ve overestimated you so indicates that you find it a simple task.” She finishes her analysis and pauses to give me room to respond. “I wouldn’t say it’s ‘simple’. I just… Push it all back.” “From time immemorial I’ve crossed paths with only a handful of your type. You all talk about yourselves in much the same way.” “My type?” "Those who bond for life. Prioritizing deep connection over instinctual consumption. Say, how many humans have you eaten from?" "She's the third." The Sadist nods her head. As if she'd expected an answer of that caliber. "Then you must be aware. Succubi that bond for life do not last. It is too heavy an existence." She pauses, clearly waiting for some form of acknowledgement. I can’t deny and nod in agreement. When I lost Beth and Leah I’d felt as though I’d lost a piece of myself. I’m under no illusion that Eve's passing won’t result in the same heartbreak. Getting the acknowledgement she sought, the Sadist continues. “To the offer at hand. I wish to make you like me. Reborn and free of the burden you bear." She's headhunting me... That said, the ability to overwrite a Succubus’ kink is a feat spoken only of in hushed rumors. The power she wields is unfathomable to me. "I... I thank you for the offer..." What exactly she offers is a role change. Unshackled from ABDL with no more maternal instincts, urges, and thoughts to bind me down to a single human. I’d join her as a Sadist. Like her I’d be free of heartache and emotion. Living an eternal life based solely around consumption and fulfilling only my own selfish desires. Such a thing is a dream of greed. And scarily enough… I could almost see myself living it. It fills me with a sense of unease. Joyous laughter tickles my ears. I cast a quick glance to the source behind me. Eve, working in the garden and adorably doing her best. The sight and sound of her fills my breast with a warmth beyond description. It washes away the unease of the Sadists' offer. It's all the answer I need. "... However, I'm afraid I'm right where I belong." I won't regret it. Even when I’ve someday burnt out and disappeared from this world... I know this feeling of love can't be wrong. She stares at me with an indiscernible, blank expression. Finally betraying a hint of emotion, she sighs. "Foolish... But commendable. Perhaps one day I’ll succeed in swaying one of you.” “I’m sorry that today isn’t that day.” I mean it too. Though hers is an existence I cannot wrap my head around… I get the feeling that in her own strange and twisted way she worries for me. And that in her mind what she offers is salvation. “As a Succubus of Sadism, I pray you find pleasure in the pain of inevitable parting." Mirroring our initial encounter, she bows slightly. Something I’d never expect from someone such as her. Having been rejected in her offer and satisfying her curiosity, she turns around to leave. Wings flexing, feathers licking the wind. "Have you felt love?" Before she could go, the words left my lips impulsively. It was a question I suddenly found myself wanting more than anything to know the answer to. Maybe a paltry attempt at connecting with this being that feels so foreign and far from me… She pauses, her head tilting to the side. And without turning around she answers. "I think so. A long time ago." Without waiting for a reply, she’d disappeared. Gone with the blink of an eye. Not seeing the look, the emotion that she wore on her face in answering that question will certainly be a regret that I carry for the rest of my days. I turn back to Eve who is still hard at work, not having witnessed anything that had transpired just a few feet in front of her. Needing some Eve time after that experience I make myself noticeable again. She notices me while brushing some stray hairs out of her face with her forearm. Her bright smile fills me with all the energy I'd ever need. "I heard that there was a little lady here hard at work, do you think I could meet her?" Eve giggles, a habit that's become more common over the months. She leans in closer from her spot on the ground and speaks quietly. Trying to keep any potential strangers from listening in. "Mommy you're embarrassing me! I'm very hard at work right now, don't these flowers look beautiful here?" "They’re second only to you sweetie. Here, you have a little something here." She blushes as I pull a clean hand towel from her little garden cart and wipe away some dirt on her forehead. "Thank you..." [Work is great and all but I can't wait to go home!] It's my turn to smile. But before I get out of her hair there's one important thing... "How's your diaper kiddo? Before I let you go do you think you can make it?" Her face scrunches up in concentration. Her thighs shift together as she attempts to get an assessment of the state of her padding without touching herself indecently in public. "I... Think it’s better to be safe than sorry.” "Such a smart girl you are, come along, I'll get you sorted out." I pull her up from her sitting position, take her by the hand, and lead her to the closest family bathroom. ~~~ "I am... Home!" Eve shouts triumphantly, depositing her shoes on the rack. "Welcome home, dinner is ready whenever you are." She rushes over, and eagerly embraces me in a tight hug which I return enthusiastically. No signs of dirt anywhere. She must’ve showered in the employee bathrooms to keep from bringing work home. "Actually... Could I pretty please have milkies first?" Still embraced, she looks up at me with puppy dog eyes. Who could say no to that face? "Okay, okay. But there's another important detail to take care of my silly girl." My hand reaches down between her legs, flipping up her dress, and cupping the crotch of her post work to home emergency pull-ups. "I'm not that wet! Come on!" "Soaked, my little fountain. This won't take long." "Ughhhhhh..." Defeated, she allows herself to be picked up. Her legs wrap around my torso and arms wrap around my neck as she rests her head on my shoulder. With her in arm we get to the bedroom where I toss her a few inches onto the bed. She lands, giggling. I strip her of her dress, leaving her in just her birthday suit and ruined training pants. Turning away from my adorable charge, I stop by the dresser and pop open the former underwear drawer for supplies. Baby powder, wipes, and a thick nighttime diaper adorned with cute pictures of moons and stars. Atop the dresser I grab her pacifier, another tool to combat her oral fixation. Seeing my choice of padding in the mirror, Eve groans. "Mommy! It's so early for the nighttime diaper! How am I supposed to walk in that the rest of the evening!?" "You'll find a way, you always do. Plus, it should last you till morning… Though you’re very good at not lasting long.” She blushes brightly at the implication and crosses her arms adorably. I laugh while pulling her bottom onto a waterproof plastic changing pad. Near the pillows I grab her favorite stuffed bear and tuck it into her crossed arms. The paci goes in as well. Beneath the paci she grumbles but squeezes her bear tightly. The perforated sides of her pull-up tears away with ease. I leave the sodden garment under her bottom to protect the pad and get to work rubbing her down with the baby wipes. I take extra care to be both gentle and fun on her vagina. The grumbling becomes a moan of pleasure. Her pelvis bucks forward with each pass of the wipe. Eventually I reach her bottom and roll up her used pull-up before pitching it in her diaper genie. However, she's clean and the fun ends premature. "Noooooo..." Eve's whines from behind the paci. Ignoring her sentiment for the time being, I liberally apply powder and massage it firmly but gently into her skin. She enjoys this; I see it in her eyes. But that ends too soon for my poor baby as well. The diaper gets fluffed out and placed beneath her. The front panel goes up and the excess gets tucked under her sides. Back bottom tapes go on first, pulled across the front panel. Then the top tapes, the job is done. The changing pad goes back under the bed for the next, inevitable change. I sit near the pillows at the headboard. With ease my strapless dress pulls down, and the flap of my left maternity bra's cup pulls down unveiling my breast. Happily, I open my arms wide. "Come to Mommy, sweetpea!" The sexually frustrated girl perks up at my command. Rolling over onto her front she crosses the short distance in a bow-legged crawl. When she's close enough I snatch her up and manipulate her body such that she's resting in a position similar to the first night I had her feed from me. The night that would spell the end of her old life, and the beginning of something new and good. I pluck the pacifier from her sucking mouth and quickly replace it with my left breast. Eagerly she gets to work. Over the months her form has improved significantly. She can drain a breast like a champ in record time. Though on occasion she likes to make slow work of it. Enjoying the feeling of being connected to me. [Mmm so good...] Hearing her enjoy the milk never gets old. My right arm snakes down the front of her diaper where my fingers get to work. Playing her princess parts like an instrument. Her muffled moans leak out from behind my breast. Little dribbles of milk leave her mouth, running down her neck and onto her cute little boobies. It seems I forgot her bib again, when will I learn? While sucking she bucks her hips to the rhythm of my massage. The warmth of my milk entering her tummy and warmth of my fingers on her most intimate parts. Her body presses into my own. All that she feels in this moment is a beautiful whirlwind which flows into me like water down a drain. A few short minutes of our song and dance and the flow of milk from the first teat is at an end. [Oh fuck, oh Mommy, o-oh I'm-I'm gonna c-!] The wriggling girl in my arms squeals in pleasure; her pelvis bucking one final time into my waiting hand. With no time to lose, I pull my hand out of her pamper and pat the front gently as she comes down from her high. She floods her diaper, its padding greedily soaking up the warm mixture of cummies and urine. Spent, the girl flops down in my arm. Twitching in post orgasm bliss as her body of its own volition rids itself of its liquid waste. “Oh my, someone is Mommy’s lil messy girl tonight. I’m going to have to clean you up before bed!” Tired and content she allows me to shift her body to the other side where she slowly gets to work on the other breast. Left hand massages her back from behind while supporting her. Right remaining gently on her squishy padding as a comforting reminder. While the experience was in a sense orgasmic for me as well, more than that I am filled with an intense feeling of love and care for the darling girl in my arms. I rest my head on the headboard behind me, closing my eyes. Grainy images flash and drift behind my closed lids. Playing like an old movie. Two girls, much like Eve but different and unique in their own ways. All the times I’d held them exactly in this way. And the love I still felt but could no longer feel from them. "Lilith, you alright?" A small voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I look down to Eve, she's looking up at me concerned. At some point she’d stopped nursing. Her hand lifts and wipes away something wet from my face, tears. "It's alright. I'm fine... Just memories." From her position she cuddles into my stomach, wrapping both arms around my midsection in a tight squeeze. "I love you Mommy… Whatever’s wrong I want you to know that I’m here for you." [I hope this is enough, I wish I could do more...] Oh… please don’t think that sweetie. You’ve no idea how much you’ve done for me. "I love you too baby. And I’ll be here for you as well, forever." ______________________________________________________________________________________ Huge shoutout to Kasarberang for hosting the competition. And to my friend, Melunnia, on Twitter for another wonderful art piece. I hope that you, the reader, have enjoyed reading my story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Does anyone change a picture and make them wear a diaper? I do 😁

So this feels huge guys - my RADAR key came today which means that I can now unlock disabled toilets all over the UK. At last I don't need to panic about being able to get into a loo to change. Anxiety about frequent/urgent toilet visits has been something I've lived with for years and although going 24/7 has helped a lot in that respect, needing somewhere to comfortably change my nappy can be just as worrying as feeling like you're going to wet/shit your pants because you need the toilet! It's also going to be a bit of a social lock in for me as it has helped me to really accept that I am IC and I do need accommodations now. Plus whoever I'm out with - friend or family - will also know that this is my life now.

sneaks in and steals his changing table…

Chapter 48: Zapped! GRANDMA WOKE ME up the following day, and I couldn’t stop smiling about having finally resolved to have a relationship with Beth! I was excitedly walking into the bathroom to pull off my pajamas when I realized something was wrong. My Pull-Up was soaked! “What the hell?!?” I grimaced. I knew it was probably a matter of time, but I expected it to happen at school when I was in the pod with that stupid device inside. I sighed, pulled the sides of the Pull-Up apart, and walked it back out to the diaper pail beside the changing table in the room. ‘No reason to smell up my bathroom,’ I thought. I found some wipes I could reach on a shelf below the table and wiped myself before grabbing one of my regular swimsuits and pulling it on. Grandma must have knocked on Beth’s door because she was coming out in her bikini and cover-up again when I headed to the stairs. “Joining me?” I asked her. “Yep!” she said. “Have to practice to keep up with the amazing little dolphin!” Without warning, she picked me up and placed me on her hip. I blushed but leaned into her side as she carried me down. “You two going for a swim?” Grandma asked as we passed. “Yes, if that’s okay?” “If you two are together, that’s fine. I’ll send Grandpa to come check on you in a bit.” “Thanks!” I said, even as I felt even more embarrassed to be in the babyish position of being held by my… girlfriend? I blushed more then as I thought about that. Beth must have been thinking about that as we neared the water, and she sat me down, “I’m probably the only girl I know of other than my mom who can pick up and cuddle her boyfriend.” I blushed at being called her boyfriend, “Probably aren’t many… You’re really okay with my size?” I asked her, self-conscious. She knelt down to me, “I’m not going to lie and say it’s not a bit weird, but I’ve grown up with a mom who was almost exactly my size compared to a dad about yours?” She shrugged, “Once I thought of it like that, it became a little less weird?” Then, without warning, she began tickling my sides, “Besides, it gives me all sorts of unfair advantages.” “Stop, not fair, and we shouldn’t horse around the pool area,” I told her. “Good point,” she said with a smile and a hug. Then she patted my butt, “Now I know all you really want to do now is swim, so go ahead and start my little dolphin, and I’ll try and do a few laps myself.” I hugged her back and then dove into the water to start swimming. I felt some fatigue from yesterday in my muscles, having pushed it so hard. So, while I swam a fair distance, I didn’t try for the same speed. As a result, I think Beth could almost keep up with me. Almost! When we finished swimming, the two of us went and showered, and I spent time washing my hair, hoping it would lose the curls from the day before. Looking in the mirror, my hair still looked wavier than usual. Of course, also looking in the mirror, I still looked like a dressed-up pre-teen girl with makeup as glittery and vibrant as it had been the day before! ‘This makeup has got to make going out as a girl way simpler than my sisters have it!’ I thought I pulled on a new Pull-Up and grimaced at the thought of having wet the bed the night before. ‘If Grandma doesn’t ask, I won’t say anything. Maybe it can just stay off my chart that way…?’ I thought that, technically, that would be my second accident not being marked down. Eventually, I was going to be losing potty stars. Unfortunately, I knew that was bound to happen here as a Little! I finished my morning routine and dressed in jeans and a light blue shirt with Emerson that Grandma must have bought sometime during the week before heading downstairs. Beth was nowhere in sight for once, so I tried the sit-and-hop method of going down the stairs. It was time-consuming but seemed less dangerous than the hopping down I’d tried. ‘Might make that my normal?’ I thought as I reached the bottom. ‘Reminds me of practicing evacuating from a school bus as a kid!’ Looking up at the stairs, I was sure I could do without seeing those daily! Grandma was sitting at the table reading something on a tablet when I approached. “Done with your shower?” I nodded, “Yes, is there a chance I could get something to eat?” “What would you like?” She asked. I shrugged, “I don’t see anyone else, so don’t go through any major trouble?” “We have an AmeniTea over here, too, so we can do something quickly through it?” “Is that how you normally cook?” I asked curiously. She laughed as she came over and picked me up off the ground, “No, we still prefer to cook most of the time, but mornings and midnight snacks are the time I prefer to use it.” “What can it make?” I asked. “Just about anything, really. We have a full stock of ingredient pods inside of it.” “Pancakes and eggs?” “Sure!” She said. “Can I watch you do it?” She placed me on her hip and walked into the kitchen. There was a large island counter that she sat me on top of like one would do a baby. I watched as she spoke instructions to the boxy device, and a moment later, a plate filled with pancakes complete with a smiley face of chocolate chips and whipped cream appeared. Some scrambled eggs were on the side of the platter, and it looked good! “That’s all you have to do?” I asked, surprised. “That’s it! It’s pretty cool and simple enough. Even your auntie can manage it!” I laughed at that and was soon strapped into the highchair, eating as Beth came in. She looked to have spent a lot of time on her hair and makeup, and I blushed as I realized maybe she was looking nicer for me? Beth wore a pretty purple sweater that hugged her curves. Many detractors would say she didn’t have much, but she looked perfect! “Morning, Beth,” Grandma said to her. “Good morning,” she replied to her. “What would you like for breakfast?” She looked down at my plate and said, “That looks good?” “Just have a seat; I’ll have it in a minute or so,” Grandma told her. Beth blushed when she reappeared with the smiley face on the pancakes, “Thanks!” “You said what he had, so I figured you wanted the smiley face too!” She gave Beth a sideways hug. Beth giggled, “Nothing wrong with a smiley face on a pancake!” After we finished our breakfasts, the two of us found our way back to my room for more time studying. Beth was clearly much more apprehensive about particular classes, like her Systems class, so I gave her a hand with it. I managed to write the final page of the script just before lunch and copied it into the school’s computer, then the module system, before smiling since it was all turned in! “Now I just have to hope mine is chosen!” I thought to myself as I moved on to the next class. BETH WAS MAKING more progress studying with Connor than she ever would have on her own. It was becoming a bit of a game to her, though, to figure out if anything she was studying could stump him. So far, she was failing to catch him in anything she was working on that he didn’t know! So, it was a bit of a relief after lunch when they were resuming studying, and he was actually struggling at something as he worked on his HoloFields class. “I just don’t get how these particles relate to this…?” Connor threw up his hands. “This stasis field shouldn’t even work from the physics back home?” She smiled, “Finally, something I know that you don’t!” “Huh?” “Remember, I grew up here. There’s basic Field Theory in our physics classes in high school.” “Oh,” Connor said, “That’s why they didn’t feel like they needed to explain this stuff?” “Probably!” she agreed. She walked Connor through the things he didn’t understand for the next two hours. Then she had to admit he probably would understand it better than her in another week, given how he absorbed everything else! About four hours after lunch, she said, “Okay, you got enough studying in?” He shrugged, “I think so?” “Want to go see if Shelby is up for a visit? I can finally see this amazing ‘playhouse’ you told me about?” She smirked, “We should also get her to help you take that makeup off!” He blushed bright red then, “Sure,” he said. “Let me text her first.” Connor got a quick response, and he was soon walking beside her across the enormous yard to the smaller house. The temperatures had dropped more, and their breath was freezing as they reached the short door and knocked. It opened a second later, and Shelby waved at them, “Come in!” Beth looked at the door and skeptically at the physical frame at the level of her nose. Connor looked at her, “You’ll have to duck, I guess?” She laughed, “Looks that way!” Beth did duck as she entered the doorframe but was grateful that the ceilings at least were above her head by about half a foot! She noted a ceiling fan that she would need to walk or duck around in the living room. Still, otherwise, she was probably just about as tall of a person as you could be and walk upright through the ‘house.’ “Good thing you’re not any taller,” Shelby told her, apparently agreeing with her thoughts. “Yeah, but this is really cool! You’re probably the only family of Littles who has their own ‘house’ that can be played off like it’s a play house.” Shelby shook her head, “I know of a few other people… some friends at school are kind of like us with our parents adopted. This is a richer part of town, so once some other parents saw what Grandma and Grandpa built for us, they had to keep up with them.” She smirked, “I’m pretty sure ours is the only one that is quite as elaborate, though! Let me give you the tour I gave Connor,” she said. The three of them navigated through the house, with Beth having to duck under doorways but otherwise able to walk mostly unhindered as long as she watched out for light fixtures. After the tour, Beth suggested they hang out in the living room. The afternoon by quickly, and just before they returned to the main house for dinner, Connor remembered something. “Can you deactivate this makeup?” He asked Shelby. “Oh, right!” Shelby said with a giggle, “You probably don’t want to go to classes like that!” They both watched her dig her tiny phone out of the pocket of her hooded sweatshirt and showed Connor, “So all you need is this app on your phone.” Connor pulled his own phone out, and she watched as he downloaded the app. ‘Hopefully, none of the guys see he has that app!’ she giggled. Beth knew the app well. She loved the SkinSync product herself and used it daily. Her favorite thing was that it would stay on indefinitely, and you could easily change the looks when you wanted to. Celebrity-specific looks were sold on an in-app store, and tween and teen magazines regularly had scannable codes you could download free styles with. That morning, she’d spent the most time tweaking it she had in ages before heading downstairs. “So now that you’re connected, just press deactivate,” she told him, “But stand over here so it’s easier to clean up,” she said first, hurriedly moving him to a hard floor. Beth watched as he pressed the button and expected to see the annoying cloud of dust that formed when you took the powder off. Instead, she watched Connor spasm like he’d been hit with a taser and scream, “Ow!!!” “Are you okay?” She found herself asking, concerned as she closed the distance to him. “It felt like I just zapped every skin cell on my face with a static charge! Is that what happens every time you take it off?” Connor asked as he looked up at her. Beth shook her head even as she looked down into his face. The face that was, if anything, glitterier than it had been a moment ago. “Umm…?” he said, “Why are you staring at me like that?” She debated breaking it to her new short boyfriend when Shelby said, “I think we need to get Grandma to help.” Connor pulled up the selfie camera app on his phone and stared at his face, “Crap!” I SAT STILL while Grandma ran some unknown device over my face and looked at her tablet for results. “I don’t understand why this would happen?” she said. “I felt a similar jolt when I activated them before?” “I wonder…” She said and began another rapid session of typing and scanning me. “Well, that shouldn’t happen…” she said while running her hand through her head. “What shouldn’t happen?” I found myself asking as Beth joined me in stereo. “For some reason, it’s like the nanites infused into your skin?” “Isn’t that how they work?” Beth asked. Grandma shook her head, “No, these are just meant as a true skin coating like traditional powder makeup. If you had the right equipment, you should be able to peel them and one layer of cells away together? In this case, it’s more like they’ve fused into the dermis as well… Let me get Fred; this may need medical expertise, too.” I looked at Beth, “What am I going to do if I can’t get this off?” “I don’t know; I guess we can find you some of the girl’s uniforms?” While that thought sounded like what I wanted, right then, I was too terrified for that to seem like a good idea and felt my skin blanche. She wrapped me in a hug, “It’ll be okay. There is no one better in the world at programming and understanding nanites than your grandmother.” “I hope you’re right,” I told her. Grandpa came in and joined her, looking over the scans. He then came and physically touched my face for a moment and asked her for another tool. “I don’t know how this could have happened,” he said. “Have you tried changing the look in the app? Maybe you can make it look less like you have makeup on?” I looked up at him, over at Beth, and then at Grandma, “Are you saying I’m stuck with it on my face?” “The problem is it isn’t on your face right now… It’s in the skin.” “How?” Beth asked. I looked at Grandma, who sighed, “Remember how I had to edit those nanites? Since Connor’s mom was here, we’ve seen many different generations of this technology. His are very much still an older design. Then you add that they’re the customized ones his mom tweaked?” She shook her head, “It would probably take Stacy helping me for a week to figure out exactly how this happened.” “Will it wear off?” I asked. He shrugged, “You do replace your skin about every twenty-seven days, so it might come off with that? It depends on how integrated the nanites are. The fact you had your mom’s in you seems to be the problem here. Like your grandmother said, they’re an antiquated version of them now, and I think with your entering the password to allow access, it also decided the ones from the makeup should be integrated?” Grandma shook her head, “Your mom must have done something else with these. The problem is we can’t ask her over the HoloLink system without others listening in. We know the communications across the dimensional system are heavily monitored. Still, with you being her son, we know they’re even more likely to listen.” I sighed, “Beth, you know how to work this system?” Shelby had gone home an hour ago to get some sleep since she had school the next day. She nodded, “Let me see your phone since you synced up to it. Let’s add a password, too, so someone can’t randomly change your look.” Connor saw a look on her face like she’d eaten something disgusting, “I saw that happen to some friends in middle school!” I shuddered at that, knowing that someone could randomly change my face to look like whatever they wanted it to be...? That would be treacherous at best! “There!” she said a moment later. “I didn’t feel anything that time?” I said. Grandma shrugged, “It worked… at least as well as possible. I’m guessing the jolt you felt before was the integration.” I used my phone then to look at my face and was relieved that my lips were their typical color and my eyes looked normal, too. I did grimace, though, in that my skin had a certain ‘brushed’ quality that looked like my sisters had put their foundation on. “I still look like I have makeup on?” I said. “Only if you look really closely,” Beth tried to reassure me. “This is probably the best we’ll get for tomorrow?” She looked at Grandma, who nodded. “I’ll try and see if I can come up with something else this week,” she told me. “For now, though, you both should probably get some sleep so I can drop you off at school tomorrow before classes.” I sighed, “Yeah, thanks for trying.” As I went to bed that night, I made sure I went potty again and then set my alarm early enough that I could swim before we left. I also hoped the earlier wakeup time would lead to a dry Pull-Up. ‘I don’t understand why I was wet this morning!’ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thank you for reading!!! Please press the like button and leave a comment!!! Also, a SUPER HUGE thank you to everyone who pre-ordered/ordered In-Between on Amazon! If you haven't already, you may find it for sale here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CG4W62M6 . If you did purchase it, please press the '5-Star' rating when you can! You don't have to leave a review to do so. (Though that would be so amazingly appreciated!) I'm giving a bonus chapter Tuesday or Wednesday of this coming week as a thank-you to all of you!!! After that, the next post will likely be Sunday or late Saturday night this week. I have some crazy hours the next month and a half, and postings will vary on days depending on the weeks. It'll be around Thanksgiving probably that I can get back to the Fridays I've been posting.

I'm a meditation teacher, and one of my unique practices is meditating while being diapered. It brings a certain level of comfort and grounding that I deeply appreciate. It might sound unconventional, but the combination truly enhances my mindfulness journey.

Hey there and welcome to the DD forum! 🌟 It's great to have you aboard. It sounds like you've already got some favourite diapers, many of which are beloved by many here, including myself! The feeling of littleness is something so many of us cherish, and it's always fantastic to connect with others who share that sentiment. If ever you'd like to chat or share experiences, don't hesitate to reach out. We're a friendly bunch here and always welcome a good conversation. Wishing you lots of delightful moments and padded friendships during your time on this site! Warm regards, Starlight ✨

My area hit a late summer heatwave. With plenty of humidity.my diaper fills up with sweat faster than pee. 😂

I started wearing diapers for fun during my high school years, and pretty soon after started having nighttime accidents freshman year of college. Nowadays, I always sleep diapered because I always wake up wet. And if i'm going on a car ride longer than 2 hours I'll wear a diaper. My bladder has certainly shrunk. I'll have to go pretty bad and when I use the toilet I'll only pee for 8-10 seconds. As soon as I put on a diaper my bladder goes into diaper mode, and I'll wet every 10-15 minutes.

As far as I can remember I always wanted to be back in diapers, but like one of the other posters already said I also don't remember having thoughts about becoming incontinent as a child. To be honest I didn’t know what it was to begin with, however I do remember I wanted to wear and use them for their intended purpose only for number one that is. I was well in my thirties when I discovered I wasn’t the only one with this rather strange desire to wear and use diapers. Soon thereafter things started to make more sense especially now that I knew I wasn’t some sort of weird freak, there were others like me, Internet helped a lot in my search for answers. Still today, the desire to have no control is phenomenal, I feel my body messed-up becoming potty trained and I feel it is not how it is supposed to be. Being an adult these are rather conflicting thoughts. As a child I was unable to reflect on my feelings although they were most definitely there. When I got older I learned after a lot of struggles and self-searching is was part of my being. Later on I embraced the other part of me and that made life a whole lot easier to deal with. For sure I know it is not what others expect from an adult but it is my life. Wearing diapers and using them for their intended purpose is better than loading yourself up with anti-depression pills. Just my thoughts.

Chapter 44 Part 1 “Jamie, I have a surprise for you.” Rebecca’s voice was distant. He could make it out plain, but it was so far away he couldn’t understand why she was telling him this. “C’mon, sweet little boy.” In his trance and not conscious enough to know what was happening, Becky lifted the mostly asleep Jamie from his crib and cradled his limp form to the rocking chair. Sitting down, she opened her robe and held Jamie to her breast and stroking his his cheek. He instinctively began to nuzzle her chest, and when her nipple brushed his lips he latched on. He drew on her breast for several minutes before she changed sides, and he drew for several minutes more as she looked down at Jamie with the love of a mother for her little boy. She remember another darkened bedroom where she’d fed her baby girl. Jaime stopped when he was finished, his lips openings and letting Becky’s go. He sighed contentedly in his sleep, and she felt him stretch just so. She dabbed at the corners of his mouth with her robe, carried him back to his crib, and pulled the covers back over him. “My sweet boy,” she said as she closed her robe and returned to her own bed, where she sighed contentedly and pulled the covers back over herself. _________________________________ “How’d you sleep, buddy,” Amanda asked, “Really good. I never slept this well back home.” Amanda chuckled. Becky had already told her; she was so excited her milk had come in. “I bet. Have any dreams?” “I don’t remember any. Why are you smiling?” “Because it’s morning and I’m happy to see you,” she said as she helped Jamie get undressed for his bath. He held his arms up, and she helped into the already filled tub. “How do you feel?” Jamie’s forehead creased in irritation and concern. “Why? I feel fine. Why are you being weird?” “Must be the weather. I got you something.” Amanda reached went into the cabinet under the sink and came up with a net of rubber bath toys. “I thought since summer is over and you can’t swim, you might like to just play in the tub.” Jamie looked a little embarrassed. Bath toys were especially childish, he thought and while he liked relaxing in the bath, he didn’t think of it as a place to play. Amanda tore open the netting and dropped the six animals into the water. Jamie watched the float by. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, he grabbed the duck and wondered for a moment what he was supposed to do with it. He squeezed it, and it didn’t squeak but it did expel some air and then refill. He held it under the water and squeezed it again, letting it filled with water. Trying to make it look like an accident, he angled it upward and squeezed, catching Amanda right in the middle of her chest. “You Little stinker!” “The duck did it.” He did it again. “He’s a very naughty duck.” Amanda responded by grabbing the pig and squirting Jamie back. In dodging her assault, Jamie splashed water all over the floor and Amanda. After trading a few more rounds of fire, they smiled at each other, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry,” Jamie said, surveying the damage. “It’s okay. We’ll clean it up when we’re done.” Amanda resumed bathing Jamie. Playing in the tub was really his thing, he thought, but he loved being bathed. The feeling of soap and hands and wash cloths rubbing his body just felt so good, and it was all he could do not to say ‘harder’ when she reached his neck and back. His favorite part was when his hair was washed, the fingers massaging his scalp before he closed his eyes and a pitcher of water was poured over his head. “Are we doing anything fun today,” he asked as she dried him off. He didn’t understand how Rebecca kept the towels so fluffy. “What? Just because I’m off school today you think we should do something fun?” “Well, we don’t have to.” “I’m teasing. I don’t know what we can do today. Anything we want I guess.” “We haven’t been to the park in a while.” “Oooh. That gives me an idea.” “There’s an indoor playground for Littles called The Zone. It’s a bunch of things to climb on and slides and ball pits.” “That sounds fun. Kinda like a climbing gym.” “Sort of.” “What will you do there?” “Day drink.” “Really?” “No. I’ll see if Mel or Donna wants to go. I think Jane might be free, too.” “How come you’re off and Mom isn’t?” “It’s some university holiday. Founders’ Day or something. Wadduya wanna wear?” “I guess my workout clothes.” Jamie was playing in his room when Amanda came back in. “Bad news is that Mel isn’t free, but Jane is. You don’t mind playing with Rosie, do you?” He hadn’t revealed her secret, if it was a secret. He didn’t know. “No, I’d like to see her.” “What are you playing with?” Amanda approached Jamie, not sure what was between his legs. His body was blocking her view. “Nothing,” he said, trying to hide it. He had no chance of doing that. “Awwww.” “I just ...” “It’s so cute!” She couldn’t help but sound like Donna. It was just too adorable. “I ...” “You put a diaper on your bear!” She knelt down on the floor next to him. “Was he having accidents? Has he started wetting the bed?” “I was just bored,” the red faced Jamie replied. He’d planned on taking it off before anyone had seen. “And you did such a good job, too,” Amanda said as she checked the fit around the waist and leg gathers. “Now you and he are dressed alike.” That was exactly true. Jamie was wearing a daytime diaper and clothes. The bear had on a nighttime diaper and nothing else. “I was just playing,” Jamie said, feeling embarrassed. Amanda could see and pulled him into her lap. “I know you were, and I think that’s a very good thing,” she said as she planted a kiss on his cheek. “Plus now you’re not the only one in the house in diapers,” she joked. “I was going to take it off.” “You can’t! I don’t wanna clean up bear pee. And what if he leaves giant bear droppings all over the house?” “He’s smaller than me.” Amanda didn’t see how that make free-range bear turds better. “What if he leaves any bear droppings all over the house? We can’t have that. I think he’s need to stay in diapers until he stops having accidents for at least a month.” “You’re teasing me.” She hugged Jamie tighter. “I am doing no such thing. I just like seeing you play with your toys.” She picked up the bear and put it over other knee facing Jamie. “See? Jamie Bear and Baby Bear. How do you like that?” He did kind of like it, but he was too shy to say so. Instead he blushed and leaned against Amanda, reaching out to take his bear as he did. She loved it when he got all blushy and snuggled with her. “You ready to go,” she asked. “Ready when you are.” She checked his diaper and the bear’s. “You’re both clean and dry. We might have to get your bear some diapees his own size.” Amanda had already packed the bag for the morning, and the two of them went to the Zone. Jane and Rosie were waiting in a booth. Being a weekday morning, it wasn’t crowded or as loud as it normally got. It was nicer than Jamie expected. He’d been to places like it, but this was more like a restaurant with a huge playground. Better to attract adults, he figured. “Hey, you two,” Jane said. “Morning,” Rosie squeaked. “Morning,” Jamie said as he slid into the booth next to her. “Good morning, Jane.” “Morning, Jamie. How’s life treating you?” “Same old,” he said with his nothing-new-all’s-well smile, the one where the left side of his lip curled upward and his eyebrows lifted themselves up. It made Jamie look content and vulnerable. “You guys can go play if you want.” Rosie nodded at Jamie, and the two of them slide out of the booth headed toward a ball pit, leaving Jane and Amanda alone. “Your mom texted me last night.” “Oh, yeah?” “She’s beside herself happy.” “She looked a little glowy this morning.” “I bet. How did Jamie like it?” “She didn’t tell you?” “What?” “He slept through it. He doesn’t know yet.” “Really?” “She left for work let him sleep in. I figured she’d tell him when she came home or let it be a surprise at bedtime.” “You don’t sound thrilled.” “I am. I just ... “ “Wish it were you?” “Honestly? I don’t feel strongly about it one way or the other. I just ... we said we’d wait until he decided how he liked it, but I don’t want to lose out on my alone time with him.” Jane reached over and rubbed her back. “I like feeding him a bottle before bed.” “I bet if you tell your mom that you still can sometimes. And I think you can adjust his bedtime routine a little so you still get some evening snuggle time alone with him.” “Like how?” “Well, how about story time? He can cuddle with you while you read. Or even just quiet time to help him get ready for sleep.” “I like that idea,” Amanda smiled. “Why did you decide to nurse Rosie?” “It just felt right. Especially when she first arrived and was so out of it for a few days after I got her home. Really helped us bond. And we kept doing it because we both like it. I like ... providing for her, giving myself to her, feeling her. And she likes being snuggled and having the skin to skin contact and the way my milk makes her feel.” “Jamie and I did skin to skin contact a couple times.” “How’d he react to that?” “The first time he was in such a funk he barely noticed. The second time, I offered and he was happy to.” “You could do it more. That a good halfway between nursing and not, if one of you isn’t ready.” “I ... I want to, but it’s also just a lot of work. And I’m not his Mom.” “Neither is your mom. And it is a lot of work, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. You’re 20 and a student and having to stop to pump during the day is a drag.” Amanda chuckled. “What’s so funny?” “I just had a funny thought. Blind taste test.” “Ha! Between you and your mom? You’d win.” “Why?” “Just a hunch, but I’d think twenty-plus fewer years probably means yours would taste better.” They watched as the two littles left the ball pit, Jamie hold her hand, and approached a a climbing structure. Jamie gave Rosie a boost, and she made it to the first level. “He did the cutest thing this morning,” Amanda said. “He put a diaper on his bear.” “Awww.” “I know,” Amanda said, her face flushed. “He was so shy about it, too.” “He’s made a lot of progress.” “In a lot of ways. I’m just glad he’s letting himself be the little that he is more often, not always trying to act like a miniature big.” “I like how he’s so gentle and kind,” Jane replied, nodding toward the two of them. Jamie was on the top platform of the structure and reached down to help pull Rosie up. “He’s so good to her.” On the top platform, Rosie sat down in the vey middle, and Jamie sat down next to her. “Are you scared of heights,” he asked. “A little. But I’m okay,” she said in her soft voice. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you awake without a pile of sand in front of you,” he quipped. “I do lots of other stuff when I want to,” She retorted in her normal tone. Jamie wondered at how it was like a light switch. “Are you normal now?” “I’m always me. That’s normal. But I know what you mean. How have you been getting along?” “Okay. I met a girl at day care.” “A girlfriend?” “No. Just friends. But we did take a naked nap together.” “Why?” He shrugged. “Guess we both missed feeling another human.” “Hmm.” “And I met her dog.” “Good for you. I don’t want one, but I do like napping on them when ones around.” “Ha.” “You seem a lot more at ease.” “I guess I am.” “You’re not fighting it.” “Fighting what?” “Being a little.” “No, I guess not. With people I trust.” “That’s good. Do you actually feel like a little?” “I don’t feel regressed, if that’s what your asking. Sometimes I feel very affectionate toward Mom and Manda. Sometimes I relax by doing things like playing with toys.” The platform wobbled. Jamie reached out and grabbed a handful of Rosie’s shirt. A moment later, a red headed little boy stuck his head over the edge. “What are you guys doing?” “Just sitting and talking,” Jamie answered. He held out his hand and the boy ignored it, pulling himself the rest of the way. “This is mine.” “It is,” Jamie humored him. “Yeah, But I like to share it.” “Thank you,” Rosie said. “Wanna jump off?” “Uh, no.” “It doesn’t hurt.” He showed them, and they saw he landed on a big pad and wandered off. “Hmm,” Jamie said, “you sure you don’t wanna try? Looks easier than climbing back down. “Will you help me?” “Yeah.” Rosie scooted herself to the edge, and Jamie took her handed. He lowered herself over, and Jamie held on to her, lowering her down as far as he could before letting go. She landed and popped back up, moving out of the way for Jamie to follow. He landed on his butt, and stood up. “What else is there to okay with?” They went looking fo another distraction and came on a tube with handles on the outside. Jamie pulled them clockwise, and the tune revolved. “Wanna try?” Rosie started to climb in and stopped before her knee hit the tube, coming right back out. “It smells like vomit in there,” she said with a disgusted look on her face. They went to the ballot instead to pretend to swim. It was harder than real water. They relaxed against the side. “It’s like a hot tub without the hot water,” he said. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Jamie looked at Rosie. “Can I ask you something personal?” “Sure. Mind if I don’t answer?” “No. When you do that, is it on purpose. I’ve been trying to figure out that works.” “When I do what?” “You know ... that,” he said and looked pointedly her diaper area, or where he would look if she weren’t up to her belly in plastic balls. “Sort of.” “I don’t know what you mean.” “I think could stop myself from going potty if I tried real hard. And the other thing I know I could, but the breast milk makes it very loose, and it’s easy to just let it happen without trying.” “Oh ... I’m going to start breastfeeding soon.” “Does that worry you? Your potty habits?” “I’m a bedwetter now, I think. And sometimes I forget I peed, but I know when it’s happening and could stop it. I do the other thing on purpose and only when I know I’m getting changed soon.” “Doesn’t seem to bother you.” “You can get used to anything.” “I think it feels good.” “Yeah ...” “That bothers you?” “Just the ... I guess I’m not entirely over it.” “I know a little who convinced her big to potty train her.” “And?” “And it was a lot of work and a lot of tears and a lot of accidents. I think she got to a point where she could make it to the potty two times out of three. But one time is enough. Her big got tired of the messes and the tears and said she was going back in diapers, that she’d be happier if she wasn’t constantly stressed and vigilant about her pull-ups. She cried for about five minutes after she was re-diapered and has been fine and happy ever since.” “Aren’t some Littles not in diapers?” “That the rumor. I’ve never met one. Not having access to public toilets makes it kinda hard.” “There’s gotta be some kind of workaround.” “There’s always being held over a toilet by your armpits, but I think that a whole let dignified than just wearing a diaper.” “How come no one makes public toilets for Littles?” “Lack of a market, I guess. Bigs like us in diapers, and a lot of littles specifically want them. That’s why they came.” “Hmm.” “I knew a little, a bit more regressed than me, but, ya know, mostly with it. He hated diapers, but he loved being spanked. That why he came, and he chose a family that was very strict and used spanking as their main way of punishing. They never caught on. They just thought he wasn’t well behaved, but he did it on purpose nine times out of ten.” “Oh.” “That makes you uncomfortable.” “I just don’t like it when people get hurt.” “Well, in his case I don’t think he was. Just the opposite.” “I guess I don’t understand that.” “Meh. To each their own.” Amanda approached them. “Pizza’s ready.” Rosie clapped her hands, jumped up and waddled toward Amanda. Jamie shook his head watching the instant transformation.

Chapter 43 “Are you excited for the museum,” Amanda asked. “Yeah, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while. Why didn’t Mom come?” “She didn’t say,” Amanda said. The two of them were on their way to Woods Park again, this time headed to the art museum. Jamie was looking forward to seeing art he’d never seen before, a brand new experience. The museum sat on a hill, and at the foot of the hill was a lake lined with a promenade. People were paddling around in rented boats, and at the far end of the lake was a restaurant. The museum itself impressed Jamie. It was, naturally, huge, and its granite contrasted well with the glass that reflected the sun. Once inside, they stopped at the information desk to get a map. “Excuse me,” the docent said, “We require all littles to be in a stroller unless they’re in the littles wing.” “Oh,” Amanda responded, “He’s fine. He’s not regressed.” “Sorry, it’s our policy.” “Whatever,” Amanda muttered. She was not in a great mood. “Do you mind, Jamie?” “No, I guess not,” he said, though he really was. He knew it would be hard enough to see art made by giants from his standing height and that much harder from a stroller. Fortunately they’d brought the stroller with them, but they hadn’t planned on Jamie need to be in it the entire time. Rebecca helped him in. They took the elevator to the top floor, planning to work their way back down. “Anything you want to see first?” “Nope.” “You can get out whenever you want. Who cares about their stupid policy,” Amanda said. The museum was divided by era, with the top floor containing local artifacts and works from Itali and San Siena pre-history. A few items were at floor level, but there were display cases over his head even standing. He was a little embarrassed to ask. “Can you pick me up?” “Sure,” Amanda said apologetically. “Sorry.” “It’s okay.” Jamie noticed that though everything was bigger, it followed the same progression from stone to pottery to bronze to iron. It could just as easily have come from Earth. The moved around the top floor, looking at the pottery and small artifacts that had been pulled from the ground, washed up on the beach, or been found in the harbor and river. “Excuse me, miss. I’m sorry. It’s our policy for littles to be in strollers when they’re not in the littles wing,” a docent said. To her credit she sounded apologetic. “Oh, we were just on our way there now,” Amanda told her. She headed toward the elevator with Jamie back on his feet. “What’s in the littles wing?” “No idea. But we’re seen most of this floor, so let’s just go to the next.” The classical period, of what Jamie would call the classical period, show a place that was an active trading and seafaring power, just as he expected of an island nation. Sculptures of giants standing and sitting and reclining in marble and oxidized bronze, most likely to survive all those thousands of years, showed a glimpse into the past. Jamie wordlessly held his arms up, and Amanda put him on her left hip. He scrutinized a row of busts. Amanda dutifully walked from one end of the row and back. “Hmm,” Jamie said. “What?” “Italis were ancestor worshipers.” “How do you know?” Amanda didn’t know. “Look at the ones from the first half of the millennium. They’re all beautiful and named for gods.” “Yeah?” “And look at the ones from the second half.” “What am I looking for?” “They’re ugly. The people, I mean, some of them were ugly. And they have names. At some point they switched from making images of gods to making images of actual people.” “Huh.” They worked their way through the floor counterclockwise, avoiding docents and ignoring dirty looks from other patrons. They were moving backward in time. “Ooh,” Amanda said, “You’ll like this.” In the center of the next gallery was a long rectangular display case. “Is that a …” “Yep.” Jamie had never seen a mummy in-person before. It was a little disconcerting, to think this person’s remains were on display, but he reminded himself you couldn’t offend a dead person. The casket was opened and the lid help up so they could see the mummy itself. It’s size intimidated Jamie; this mummy was much bigger than Boris Karlof. Jamie admired the images and early writing on the outside of the casket. They walked the perimeter of the room and looked at other funerary artifacts from the period. Jamie observed that the people whose graves the good had come from must have been rich but not wealthy. Their survivors could afford to bury weapons and semi-precious jewelry with them, but not precious metals or stones. “I want to check something,” Jamie said. Amanda put him down, and he walked over to the mummy again. He knelt and then laid down on the floor. “What you are you doing?” “Come look.” Amanda, somewhat embarrassed, got down on the floor on the other side. “Look at the inside.” The inside of the casket lid was vibrantly embellished with pictures and writing. “I never knew that was there.” “They’re direction probably.” “To the afterlife?” “That, or just something to read while he hangs out in there.” “I’m sorry,” said the docent who snuck up on them, “He’s in the way down there.” Amanda’s eyes flitted back and forth. “I’m down here, too.” “Yes, looking at the art.” “So’s he,” Amanda shot back, losing a little more of her patience. “He should really be in a stroller. It’s policy.” Amanda got to her feet. “Fine.” She shot the docent a nasty look but smiled sweetly to Jamie as she held out her hand to help him up. She lifted him into the stroller, and they went into the next gallery, and the next, with the docent following and trying to not seem like it. “What do you want to do, Jamie?” “Go to the next floor I guess.” Amanda sighed. She felt bad for him and was getting angry with the museum and its stupid policy. Young children were allowed to walk around. Why not littles, and unregressed one at that? Still, she swallowed her feelings. Once on the next floor, Jamie got back out and rode Amanda’s hip. They were looking at paintings now, and Jamie could see the differences between the styles he knew of and the styles he had never seen. The less the art strove for realism, the more the differences stood out. But they didn’t get far “I’m sorry. Our policy requires all littles to be in a stroller.” Amanda snapped at the older gentleman. “Well, he can’t see from down there, can he?” “It’s not my decision. I just …” “Who’s is it? We’ll go talk to him.” “You could talk to the manager.” “Is the manager some poorly paid bureaucrat who got stuck working on a weekend? Is he gonna tell me its policy?” ‘I …” “Don’t answer.” She turned back to Jamie, who was embarrassed by the people looking at them. “What do you want to do?” The docent rolled his eyes, and Jamie saw it. “What’s in the littles wing?” “Things to make art with. Isn’t that more fun than looking,” the docent said, bending over to get close to Jamie’s face and talking to him in higher tone than he had just used with Amanda. “No,” Jamie stated plainly, “I wanted to see the art from where I live now.” When he realized Jamie wasn’t regressed, the man straightened up. “Well, you could buy a book in the gift shop.” “Excuse me,” Amanda said incredulously, “This is a public attraction! We pay for it. How can he be excluded from it?” “He’s not excluded from it. He just needs to be in a stroller.” “Where he can’t see it!” “Manda?” “What’s the point if he can’t see it?” “Manda?” The man was getting flustered. He was just a docent. “I …” “Don’t have a clue.” “Manda?” “Yeah, buddy.” “Let’s just leave,” he said sadly. Amanda sighed. His disappointment hurt. “You sure?” “Yeah.” “Ok.” She paid no attention to the docent, turned on her heels, and with Jamie on her hip and the stroller in one hand they walked back toward the entrance. “I’m sorry.” “It’s not your fault. We got to see a lot.” “But not everything. We’ve only been here like an hour.” Jamie was disappointed, but Amanda was increasingly angry. She stopped at the information desk. “I want the museum director’s card.” “I’m not sure we have one.” “Then his phone number and email address.” “I’m not sure I have those on hand either.” “Find it! Or the number for anyone who’s not an ineffectual, nametag-wearing underling!” The woman behind the counter fished around and handed Amanda three cards for different executives, none of them the director. Back outside it was a nice day out, and the sun and cool air helped calm Amanda down. “We’ll file a complaint or something.” Jamie knew bureaucracy and didn’t expect that to do much. “What are they afraid I’m gonna do?” “I don’t know. Touch stuff, throw a fit, break stuff, make noise. Bullshit … Are you hungry?” “Yeah.” “Well we got time to kill. Might as well get some lunch.” The followed the sidewalk down the hill and around the lake to the boathouse restaurant. “I’d say we could rent a boat, but that required too bigs. We’d flip over.” “That’s okay.” Jamie liked the restaurant. The building itself was made of stone with a timber roof, and the outside was a large, wrap-around deck facing the lake with tables and chaise lounges and and two outdoor bars. “Inside or out?” “In.” Amanda lifted the stroller over the threshold, and the two of them walked to an empty table. They were approached by a waitress quickly. “What would the two of you like to drink?” “I think just water for both of us.” “We’ll figure out a way for you to see the museum. If you still want to.” “It’s not the art’s fault.” “You’re being very calm about this.” Inside, Jamie was less calm and more irritated. The sound of someone being quietly chastised caught their attention. Someone who looked like a manager was saying something to their waitress. He approached them all smiles. “Hi! I’m so sorry, but we have a section specifically for families,” he said. Amanda pursed her lips, and her eyes went blank for a minute. Her breathing was audible. “The sign said seat yourself.” “Yes, but most people just know.” “I’ve eaten here dozens of times.” “Oh, well since we took over the concession from the previous operator, it’s our policy. Do you mind moving?” “No.” “Thanks for being understanding.” “I mean no, we’re not moving.” The manager was taken aback. No one ever said no. They just went with the flow, as eager to avoid confrontation as he was. He hadn’t rehearsed this part. “But the section over there is just the same, and there’s no wait.” Part of Jamie wanted to tell Amanda it was no big deal, but the other part that was already angry didn’t want to even acknowledge the manager’s existence. “That’s not the point. We’re sitting here. We’re not disrupting anything. We just want lunch.” “I’m sorry. It’s our policy.” “So don’t enforce it.” That had never occurred to him. Just ignore what his bosses told him to do? He could get fired for that. “I’m afraid I have to.” “We’d like menus, please,” Amanda replied. “I’m sorry. I can’t serve you here.” “Can’t or won’t?” “I’m sorry, miss, I can’t serve you here, but if you just come …” “We’re going to eat here.” “I …” Amanda was done paying attention to him. “Jamie? You hungry?” “Yes,” he said, wondering where this was going. Amanda pulled the diaper bag from under the stroller. “Do you mind drinking it room temperature,” she asked, pulling out a bottle and setting it on the table. “Miss, I’m going to have to insist you leave.” “After he’s eaten,” she said, twisting the cap off the bottle. “Miss …” “Either serve us or leave us alone or call the police. Just call your boss first and tell him his restaurant is going to be on the news tonight.” The manager knew that would reflect poorly on the restaurant, but just as importantly would reflect poorly on him personally. What would his boss think his inability to handle this situation? “Jamie, do you want it with the nipple on or off?” He didn’t really want the bottle at all, and he’d normally had formula, if he had it, at this time of day it was just in a sippy cup. But to spite the managers, the docents, the museum director, the restaurant owner, the people who gave him dirty looks and the people were giving him those looks now, he said, “On.” Amanda smiled approvingly. Exasperated and unsure of what to do, the manager walked away but not out of eyesight. He stood in a near corner with his arms folded and glared at them occasionally. “C’mere, baby,” Amanda said as she lifted him into her lap. He settled back against her, sitting up, and she held the bottle for him with her other hand around he waist, sometimes rubbing his tummy. “Take your time.” Jamie relaxed and did just that. The formula and Amanda’s familiar lap and he soft hands made him feel better. Jamie’s familiar weight and the smell of his soft hair made her feel better. Jamie finished half the bottle and opened his mouth. Amanda put the bottle on the table. “I think we made our point.” “You wanna go get some real lunch now?” “Yes.” Amanda put the bottle away and then suddenly froze. She straightened back up with a Cheshire cat grin on her face and whispered in Jamie’s ear “Okay,” he said, suppressing a laugh. Red faced but committed, he let Amanda pick him up and lay him on the table. He was pants down and ankles up in moments. Amanda quickly but thoroughly changed his wet diaper, rolled it up and put his pants back on. “I think we’re ready to go now,” she said. Jamie nodded. She put him on his feet, and the two of them walked back toward the entrance. Amanda stopped next to the manager, ignoring the eyes on her, some approving and some disapproving, and pushed this rolled up wet diaper at him. He instinctively grabbed it before it could fall. “You don’t mind throwing that away, do you? Or maybe your boss could do it.” Amanda took Jamie’s hand, and the two walked out together. “Hey, Manda,” Jamie asked, “Had you known we were supposed to sit in that section, would you have?” “I don’t know.” She thought about it. “If someone had seated us there, I guess. I mean, it’s no different. I don’t think I would have noticed.” “And if you had?” She wasn’t entirely sure, but she wanted to believe no. “Look, they want to call it a bar and not allow in littles or minors, fine. But they don’t need a whole separate section just for families with littles and kids. That’s just bullshit.” “How come they let kids walk around the museum but not littles. There was a toddler or two in there?” “I don’t know,” she said. “Sure would like to fucking find out,” she muttered. She was getting angry again. “TexMex?” “A very good idea.” They were halfway up the hill to their car. “I’m sorry this day sucked. Really, this bullshit. You must be disappointed and hurt.” She certainly was. “The day’s not over yet. Thanks for sticking up for me.” "For us." ­­­­­­­­­_______________________________ “Hi, Mom,” Amanda announced as they came in the door. “Hey! You guys are back much earlier than I thought,” she said with a nervous smile. She had just gotten home herself. “It’s a long story. Maybe later. Jamie, why do you go get ready for a nap and one of us will be in to tuck you in.” “Okay,” he said and toddled off to his room. “Where were you this morning,” Amanda asked. “I, uh, went to see your grandmother.” Amanda tried and failed to hide the look of disgusted at the mention of the woman. “Why?” “I don’t know,” Becky said as she walked into the living room with Amanda following. “Closure, maybe.” “So that was the last time?” “You don’t have to hate her if you don’t want to,” Rebecca said. “She didn’t do anything to you.” Amanda’s forehead creased and her features grew tight. Knowing Jamie was down the hall with his door probably open kept her voice down. “How could you say that to me?” “I just mean, you and her always got along, mostly.” “Everything she did to you and to Jamie she did to me. And we only got along because she used me as something to make you feel like shit over. ‘Don’t you ever comb her hair? Why don’t you ever dress her up? You’re going to feed her that?’ Fuck her.” “Amanda …” “No. Fuck her.” “I’m sorry,” Becky said, losing her composure. “She’s still my mom.” Amanda could understand that, but only in the context of genetics and abusive relationships. Amanda sighed and scooted over on the couch so she could put her arm around Rebecca. “I know. I’m sorry, too.” That’s she’s your mom, Amanda finished the thought in her heard. “So where did you guys leave it?” “Same place. I told she’s not welcome around us and to stop trying contact me through Danny.” “How did she take that?” “She said, ‘Fine,’ and left.” Amanda didn’t know what it was like to disown your mother. She could appreciate that Rebecca didn’t have any parents left. Regardless of who and what her mother way, she could understand at least in the abstract how that must feel. “Thank you,” Amanda said, “For protecting yourself and Jamie and me.” Maybe she could take solace in that. Becky wiped her eyes. “So what happened to you guys? Why are you so early?” Amanda recounted the entire story. “You’re going to tell me I should have been calm and not argued with them.” Rebecca smiled and place her hands on both of Amanda’s cheeks, the pull her in and kissed her forehead. “No. You did exactly the right thing. I’m proud of you.” “Even the wet diaper part?” “Well, at least it wasn’t dirty.” Amanda chuckled. “Oh, I so would have done if it was. I was tempted to leave it business side down on the table, but then that waitress would have had to clean it up.” “Well, I’m going to write to the museum director and the restaurant and anyone else I can think of. Those are public accommodations and public art.” “Think it will make a difference?” “Maybe not at first.” “We can’t be the only people this has happened to.” “Maybe, but how many littles want to see the art instead of color in the basement?” “I guess I never noticed before that all the littles in the museum were in their strollers.” “They probably weren’t complaining.” “Jamie’s probably wondering what’s keeping us.” The two of them went into his room together. Jamie must’ve grown impatient. “Aww.” “Should we move him?” “Nah. Let him be.” They left him on the carpet wearing just his diaper and wrapped in his blanket holding is bear.

And, boom. _____________________ Chapter 41 Part 3 Jamie was in his PJs ready for bed when Becky came in and found him sitting in his chair reading a book. He hadn’t heard the shower running, and it was too early for her to be going to bed, so only thought for a moment why she was wearing a robe before he figured it out on his own. “Uh, hi, Mom. Nice robe. Can I stay up late and read? I just got a to a really part in this book, and frankly, who can sleep when there’s stuff happening in this book about things? I’ll tell you who can’t? Me. That’s who. Speaking of me …” “It’s okay, honey. Let’s take it very slow.” She gently took the book from Jamie’s hands and set it down, then lifted him under the arms and sat down in the rocking chair. She felt him trembling and said nothing, only wrapping her arms around him as she placed him on her shoulder and rubbed his back, shushing into his ear. “Let’s just be quiet for a while.” Jamie was frightened. Of what, he wasn’t sure. This step, and what it meant for him, weren’t clear to him. Was it just food? He’d taken to the bottle well enough and looked forward to his formula. It didn’t just taste good; it also made him feel good, a sort of liquidy, loose, mellow feeling waring his belly and spreading out everywhere. It made him calm when he was anxious and sleepy when he was ready for bed. This wasn’t a product off a shelf, though. This was taking from someone he knew who was sacrificing for him, even if she did want to do it for reasons Jamie understood only in theory. That in itself was intimate enough. But this? It was too much, but he couldn’t back out, or so he thought, because he didn’t want to disappoint Mom or Manda. A tear ran down his cheek, and he sniffed. “Don’t be afraid, baby boy,” she cooed in his ear. “Everything is going to be good. I promise.” He’d stopped trembling, but only because his body had run out of adrenaline, something it had been running through too fast to keep up for the last half year. Becky shifted him to her lap, carefully sweeping his legs so he was sitting comfortably looking at her. “I’m going to start taking some supplements tomorrow to help change the hormones in my body to produce milk, and you’re going to need to help that along by suckling even before then, okay baby?” Jamie swallowed, dry mouthed, and nodded in a jerking, uncertain way. “How about I open my robe now?” He nodded again. He’d have had difficulty speaking even if he knew what to say. Becky unfolded on side of her robe, exposing a bare breast. She looked from it to Jamie, who looked from it to everywhere else in the room that wasn’t it or Becky’s eyes. “There,” she said. “See? Just a body part.” She sat patiently until Jamie looked at it for more than a split second. “Give me your hand, baby.” She took his hand more than he gave it to her, his fingers trembling again, and he let her guide it to her breast. She placed his hand on her and laid her own hand over his. It was soft and warm. She left her hand on his for what felt like ten minutes but was only one, then slowly slid their hands over to her nipple. Jaime’s breath became shallow. “Don’t be afraid,” Becky said in the voice she used to soothe him. “See? You have them, too.” She poked him gently on the chest. Jamie’s inner monologue began babbling. It’s just a breast. It’s just a breast. Your mom’s breast. That’s all. Your mom’s. Wait – why the fuck does that make it better? Because you’re 30, not 1; that should make it worse. But I’m not a 30-year-old adult. I’m a little. Little do these things. It will be worth it. Don’t think of her as your mom. Think of her as a cow. No, bad idea. Very, very bad idea. She’s your mom. She’s your mom, and moms do these things with their littles. Am I a little, really? You can be if you just shut up and go with the flow for once in your life. Ha – ‘flow.’ Good pun; bad timing. Also, that thing is huge. One swing and she’ll knock me unconscious. You should be focusing on the task at hand. Which is? Feeling up your mom. Stop that! You’re just a little, getting used to this new aspect of littleness. Not a big deal. You’ll like this. When have you not liked something they’ve introduced after you gave it a try? Diapers. But really? You really still think you dislike that? Now’s not the time to discuss that. She’s saying something. You should listen to her. Her hand is on your shoulder. This seems very relevant. Shut up already! “Huh,” Jamie asked? “I said do you want to try now?” “Try …” “Suckling.” “Oh.” “We can wait until later if you’re not ready.” “No, uh, okay.” “You’re sure?” “Uh, yes, uh huh.” She smiled and moved the hand that was on Jamie’s shoulder to around Jamie’s shoulder, and her other one moved under his hip until she was cradling him and bringing him closer and closer to her nipple. So quickly, it was right in front of Jamie’s face. He wasn’t sure who was staring at who. “Ready?” Jamie swallowed in response. She shifted her arms again until one was passively holding him up and the other was guiding his head the remaining inch his lips met her breast. The first thing he noticed was her smell was more intense, but then he had never had his nose buried in the bare skin of her chest before. The second was that it was even softer against his face than in his hand. The last was that he couldn’t see much else. Becky patiently waited, rubbing his back. Just do it, Jamie told himself. He opened his mouth, and her nipple, which seemed to him stiffer by the nanosecond, instance filled it. She tasted, well, like skin, with its hint of salt but not much else. He compared it to his pacifier, and this felt, to his surprise, more natural and more soothing. His pacifier was room temperature. She was warm. His pacifier never felt exactly the right size. She did. His tongue moved forward and probed it. It was firm and soft at the same time. Carefully, mindful of his teeth, he pressed her nipple upward between his tongue and the roof of his mouth, just like he did with is bottle, and tentatively began to rhythmically suck. IT was easier than sucking on this bottle. Behind Becky’s nipple was Becky, not a vacuum, and as he sucked her nipple remained the shape it was. It was easier than his bottle. He became more enthusiastic. On Becky’s side of their union, the sensations were different and knew and very old. The warmth and wetness of his mouth. The gentle pressure of his tongue. The tug-tug-tug of his suckling. She sighed as a warm glow descended over her. She was proud of her Jamie, both because he overcame his trepidation but also because her little was a natural at this. She absentmindedly began to zone out, her empty hand finding its way to his bottom and gently patting his diaper. She felt the chemical rush of oxytocin bathing her brain in contentment, and she liked it very much. Jamie found his mouth seemed to get tired, and after perhaps ten minutes, he pulled away, embarrassed at how much saliva was on his face and her breast. He looked up to see Becky staring down at him with a very big grin. “Does my Jamie-Wamie like that? Huh? Did you like that? Did you like that? Huh? Is you mama’s bestest boy? Yes, you are. You are mommy’s bestest boy.” Jamie’s response to her sudden baby talk and the high, almost pinched tone of her voice was to … laugh. Only after they had both had a moment did they each realize something weird and unexpected had just happened. Their mutual embarrassment gave way to a placid feeling, and Becky helped Jamie sit up before she closed her robe. “How do you feel,” she asked. “Good.” “Is that all?” “Sleepy.” “It’s your bedtime” She picked Jamie up, patted and squeezed his diaper to make sure he was clean and dry, and placed him in his crib. He situated himself the way he wanted, with his bear in his arm and his pacifier, that inferior substitute, in his mouth, and Becky pulled his blankie over him, using the corner to wipe around his mouth. “Thank you, baby.” “Thank you, Mommy.” “I’ll bring you a bottle of water. Sleep tight.” They both did.

Chapter 41 Part 2 Dinner was pasta and squash soup. Jamie liked the salty, roasted seeds sprinkled over the velvet broth. “So did you have fun with Ella,” Becky asked. “Yeah, we just took a nap together and talked.” “In the same crib?” “Yes ... is that not okay?” “No, that’s just cute is all.” “What’s their house like?” “It’s on a big lot. Ella has a pretty cool room. She has a dog.” “Uh oh. Were you okay with that?” “Yeah, she showed how nice she is. She’s Ella’s therapy dog. Yogi.” “We can get a dog if you want.” Amanda’s fork flattered to her plate. “Seriously, Mom? I’ve wanted a dog since I was five years old. He gets to have one? He doesn’t even like them.” “Well, maybe I’m just mellowing with age, Amanda.” “Sorry,” Jamie said. He didn’t want one. “Don’t be sorry, buddy,” Amanda said. It wasn’t his fault she was still dog-less, or that he could make their mom do something she didn’t want to do much more easily than she could. “I do like,” Jamie had to remember the word from their trip to the zoo, “bruins, though. I never had one growing up.” “You mean the tiny things you played with at the zoo?” “They’re not so tiny to me.” “Well, maybe,” Becky said. “What did you think of the milk Jane left here?” Becky wasn’t very subtle sometimes. “Uh, I liked it.” “We can switch to that instead of formula.” Jamie was unsure. He was wary of what Ella had told him. “What does it do to littles?” “Well, you’ll just like it a lot.” “Is that all?” “It will probably make your diapers a little messier to clean up, but Amanda and I discussed that, and we don’t mind.” Just when life couldn’t get sillier, here they were having the weirdest conversation of many, many weird conversations. “It’s a bit of a diuretic. And mild laxative,” Amanda said. “Not uncomfortably so, though. It’s very gentle on little’s tummies.” “Which wouldn’t be a bad thing for you,” Becky added. “Most littles go a lot more than you do. I’ve been meaning to talk to the doctor about it.” “I don’t feel sick,” he said, “I always go once a day. That’s normal for humans.” He did note, though, that he was peeing much more frequently than his pre-diaper day’s, but only because he just went whenever he needed to, even if it was just a little nit. “Well, all the little books here says that’s not enough.” But all the little books here are based on bullshit ideas about how our bodies work, Jamie thought. Still, going more often didn’t seem like it mattered. He was comfortable with that part of his life for the most part because he was able to time it to when he could be changed in relative privacy. It had stopped being a big deal. As for it being addictive, there was no specific reason why something being addictive was also bad. “Now addictive is it, exactly?” “Nothing you couldn’t get past in a week if you wanted to stop.” There was silence at the table. Everyone was about done with their dinner. “So do you want to give it a try?” Jamie thought of how good it felt in the moments before he fell asleep. It didn’t just taste good; it felt good, like a shock of pleasure hormones channeled like a shot of electricity through his body. “Yes, I’d like to try it. But just try it, not, like forever, unless we all like it.” “Good,” Becky said. “Do you have a preference between the two of us?” Jamie’s eye turned to saucers. “Excuse me?” “It’s up to you.” “I don’t ...” “Mom’s saying she can do it or at can do it or both if that’s what you prefer.” “I thought we were talking about buying it,” Jamie said. He felt his toes blushing. “That gets a little expensive, and everyone says it’s not as good.” “Um ...” He’d just naturally assumed they meant buying it, or maybe even Jane supplying some. Jamie wasn’t sure he still wanted to do this, but both Amanda and his mom were smiling like they were so excited, and now Jamie also had to choose which of them would be the one to do it. He was afraid to ask if they were talking about bottling it for him or him nursing. And in choosing he was afraid he’d hurt someone’s feelings. “I don’t want to decide.” “Both of us then,” Amanda said right away. Becky laughed. Jamie was confused. “Why did you offer me a choice then?” “Because you’re so close to both of us, and we weren’t sure who you’d be most comfortable with,” Amanda said. The question of co pmfort helped Jamie to understand they weren’t talking about bottles. Jamie wasn’t sure he was comfortable with either, much less his Big sister, but she clearly wanted to, and so did Becky. He didn’t want either of them to feel left out or that he had a favorite. “Won’t hurt your dating life either,” Becky joked. Jamie caught her meaning and asked, “What happened to Miles anyway? No particular reason I’m asking.” Becky smiled at him. “We went out twice and decided we didn’t feel a spark.” Good, thought Jamie. He didn’t like Miles, not for any of the 90 seconds he’d known him. Maybe he could help find Amanda a boyfriend. Or not. “I think it’s bath time for little boys,” Becky said. “I got it, Mom. Leave the dishes, too. I’ll take care of them later.” She wanted to talk to Jamie. In the bathroom, Amanda stripped Jamie down to his diaper and giggled. “You’re wearing girl diapers,” she said. “So! I bet they’re prettier than yours were.” “I just meant they’re cute is all. Are they comfy?” “They feel like the other ones. She used cloth, too,” he added. She lifted him into the filling tub. “What were those like?” “Comfortable. They hug everything real tight, but they’re not as comfortable when here wet.” “We could try them sometimes.” “I’d rather not wash my clothes in the same washing machine as those.” “Fair point.” “Do you really want a bruin?” “Meh. Sorta, but don’t feel strongly about it.” “And you’re really okay with nursing from us?” “Well ... It’s kinda weird. No, actually really weird.” “You don’t have to.” “It’s ... that was really good. You don’t have to, either. I mean, if you don’t want to I really don’t mind. I know it’s a lot of effort.” “But we do want to. There’s a lot we get from it, too. Almost every Big with a little does it.” “Really?” “Just ... whatever makes us so attached to you guys.” “There’s only one of me and two of you.” “We usually only produce as much as you need, but if we do produce more we can always donate it or sell it. I could certainly use the money. Mostly to buy you presents but also for grad school.” “Hmm.” “You seemed a lot happier when I picked you up today. What gives?” “Nothing.” “I know that’s not true. You don’t have to tell me, but I’d like it if you would, and I think it might make you feel better. It’s about Cheryl, isn’t it?” Jamie was having a hard enough time articulating to himself exactly what was bothering him. He wasn’t sure if he was blowing the entire thing up in his head to more than it had ever been. What were they? Jamie loved her, and everything around that time had been so intense he wasn’t sure the nature of the love. Was he in love with her? He doubted it, if only because he didn’t think he’d have left if he had. And what was he to her? Was she in love with him? He felt already like he’d betrayed her, and now he was afraid he’d break her heart on top of it. “I think we grew apart.” “How so?” “I think the last time we’re together and the first time we communicated since everything was just so extreme. I’m not sure what we were to each other when I left, and I can’t ask her, and I don’t want to hurt her. It feels like a breakup and I’m not even sure if we were in a relationship.” Amanda had no ready advice to fix that conundrum, nor was she sure how she felt about his caseworker having gotten so close to him. He knew they were close, but that it bordered on romantic. “Did she say anything when she last wrote to you along those lines?” “No. I ... it’s hard to say someone is important to you and that you can’t do without them and you love them so much when they’re not really a part of your life. It takes so long to get a letter through. I dunno. I guess I feel like ... I feel like a world class prick just saying it. I feel like I’ve moved on.” “Maybe you haven’t moved on so much as grown apart.” “What if she hasn’t? It always felt like in our letters we were going out of our way to not say something.” “All I can say is don’t borrow trouble. If neither of you ever said otherwise, maybe you’re right and just how high emotions were running when you left and you’re just very close friends. Try not to worry about how she feels if you don’t even know there’s a reason to worry.” “Yeah ...” “Do you still feel like your friends?” “I’m ... I’m starting to feel like we’re friends. Like we’d be friends again if we were to together but that were too far apart.” “What do you write about to her?” He shrugged. “How I’m feeling, what I’m thinking.” “How about you hold on to the letter you wrote for now, and try writing one about what you’re doing instead. Keep it light and friendly.” “What will that do?” “Give both of you some room to see what it’s like when you’re relationship isn’t so much about sharing emotional baggage.” “I’m not ...” “I know you, James Patrick. If you’re writing about thoughts and feelings exclusively, your letters are not light and friendly, and that may make it difficult for her to be light and friendly with you.” “I’m not sure I want to tell her about these things.” “I’d be surprised if there was anything in your life right now that she didn’t know was a strong possibility when you came here.”

Chapter 40 Playdate day cam mid-week, and Stacy picked up Ella and Jamie mid-morning. She took most of the day off for it, excited for Ella to have someone she could talk to and play with who was just like her, an unregressed little. Ella hadn’t had any contact other than written with a normal human since her rescue, and Stacy was sure it would be good for her. Stacy had an unusual relationship with Ella. As a rescue, Ella had choices. She could have gone home, she could have stayed in Itali as an independent little supported by the state, or she could adopt herself out. For a year months after her rescue, as Ella underwent surgeries and recovered her ability to move on her own, slowly and with pain, she was a ward of the state. Complicating matters was the context of Ella’s presence in the dimension. Given what had happened to her and what choices she had available, the law was ambiguous on whether Ella was able to maybe any choice free of the coercion of her circumstances. Thus surrendering her rights by putting herself up for adoption did not necessarily square with either the spirit or letter of the law. It was a matter of interpretation up to the authorities of whether she was able to consent or not. Arguing in favor of staying as a dependent little, as Ella saw her choices, were that she did not want to – indeed, was afraid to – go home; the knowledge that life as an independent little supported by the state would be difficult and alienating, leaving her dependent on an ad hoc network of social workers, medical professional, and what friends she could cobble together into a family; and the support – financial, emotional, physical – she could receive as an adopted little. The part of her brain that would never feel safe again also argued she was safer as someone’s little since guardianship conferred a layer of protection. But Ella was not interested in surrendering herself wholly into the arms of a big once more. She needed a big who was interested in Ella as a person, not just as a little, and who would respect the circumstances of Ella’s life in the dimension and her history before and since arriving in Itali. A friend with the Administration for Littles within the Health Ministry initially approached Stacy about the prospect of taking Ella in. Stacy had expressed some interest to her friend in adopting a little, but some trepidation as well. The friend sold the idea to Stacy as being different in fact, if not legally, than a traditional big-little relationship. While she would be Ella’s guardian, their relationship would not neatly align with constructs like big-little or parent-child. But neither were they lovers, siblings, roommates, and they were obviously more than friends. Ultimately, an arrangement was made by which Stacy would foster Ella on behalf of the state, and if after some period all three parties agreed to an adoption, Stacy would legally adopt Ella as her little, and whatever that meant in practice was between the two of them. What began as a caregiver relationship turned into a friendship and grew increasingly intimate until, for those who didn’t know better or didn’t see them when they were alone, appeared to be a typical big-little relationship, but in which Stacy granted Ella a good deal more autonomy for Ella to make her own decisions about herself, her body, her time, and the limitations of Stacy’s own authority. Jamie only knew Stacy to look at. Stacy knew only what Ella told her about Jamie: he was unregressed, but he was fully and formally adopted. “I borrowed a car seat from our neighbor, Jamie. I hope it fits well enough for you,” Stacy said as she buckled him in after she’d helped Ella in. “I’m sure it will be fine,” he said. “Thank you.” The ride to Ella’s house was longer than the ride to his own. They passed out of the suburbs and into the exurbs. Their home was on a large piece of land, not large enough for a farm but large enough that they couldn’t see their neighbors from the driveway. Jamie felt self-conscious being a guest in someone’s home, something he hadn’t done much of and not in these circumstances in a long time. He reminded himself to be on his best behavior. Ella took Jamie into their living room while Stacy made them lunch. The living room had a little-sized couch that Jamie was glad to sit on. Clambering up everything had lost its novelty. “So,” Jamie asked, “What do you want to do after lunch?” “It’ll be naptime, and then I don’t know.” Ella sat in a high chair for lunch while Jamie managed from a regular chair with a stack of books on it. Lunch was light and simple: bread, cheese, fruit, and some sliced, fresh meat. Jamie made sure to say thank you several times and tell Stacy how good it all was. When lunch was finished, Stacy sent the two of them to Ella’s room, promising shed be in shortly. The room surprised Jamie; Ella saw it on his face. “Not what you expected?” “Well, uh, I like it.” Ella was sure he was just saying that. “You didn’t expect the nursery motif.” “Well, no. I thought Stacy would have chosen …” “I chose it. I like it this way.” Jamie noted the pink and the yellow and wallpaper with the cloud border under the crown molding, the strip of baby animal paper in lieu of a chair rail, a white glider chair, a mobile over the crib, and changing table much like his own. Jamie was surprised she’d choose to decorate it this way given she was unregressed and hadn’t chosen to be here. At the same time, the room was also more like a studio apartment compared to Jamie’s. Her crib was bigger, she had a TV, and there was an en suite bathroom built to her size. Jamie was especially jealous of the bathroom. Just a sink he could get to without help would be nice. “Alright, littles,” Stacy said when she came in, “Let’s see how well this works with two of you.” She was holding two bottles, which made both Ella and Jamie blush. She sat down in the glider, and Ella walked over to her. Stacy very gently lifted Ella and very gently set her back down on her lap. Jamie figured he should approach her as well, and she did the same, though she was gentler with him than she needed to be. She was used to Ella’s special needs. “Say ‘ahh,’” Stacy joked, and in a moment she had two littles drinking from two bottles while sitting on her thighs. Ella laid back right away, but Jamie didn’t feel comfortable doing that just yet. He leaned back a little but mostly supported his own weight. He didn’t want to presume. “You okay there, Jamie,” Stacy asked. “You look a little uncomfortable.” He bashfully eased himself back, but not completely. The formula was a different brand than he was used to, but it had the same effect of making him feel fuzzy and sleepy. When each bottle was only half gone, Stacy removed them. “Let’s save a little in case you wake up thirsty during nap time.” She set them both on the floor. “I don’t have PJs that will work for you, Jamie. Can you sleep in just a tee shirt?” “Um, yes,” he said, not really wanting to be half naked with Ella, but not wanting to disagree with anything in Stacy’s house. She helped him out of his shoes and pants and turned to Ella, as usual wearing a dress. Stacy didn’t seem to think anything of it, and Jamie could sense would happen next, so he got out of the way and turned around. Stacy set Ella in the crib and undressed her there, a safer place where Ella didn’t have to try to balance on one foot while Stacy helped her. From there, Stacy moved her to the changing table and put her into a clean diaper followed by pajama shorts and a top. When Jamie turned around, she in the crib with a pacifier in her mouth, much to his surprise. She was blushing again. “Your turn,” Stacy said. She lifted him up onto the table, and Jamie once again felt himself blush as so few people, all of whom Jamie was close with now, had done this. With the changing table facing away from the crib, all Ella could see was the top of Jamie’s head, but if she had been able to see more, she wouldn’t have turned away. Modesty wasn’t a trait left in her after everything she had endured. “At home Ella wears cloth diapers,” Stacy explained. “Do you want to give those a try?” Jamie didn’t want to refuse anything offered or dispute, and he also didn’t really care. He nodded. In a two minutes, Stacy had him pinned into two diapers with a soaker pad down the middle. She then threaded plastic panties up his legs and tucked the diapers in all around. When she picked him up, he could feel the much greater bulk between his legs and under his butt. It was nice in a way. She set him in the crib saying, “I hope you two don’t mind sharing a crib. If you need anything, Jamie, the little monitor is on.” She went into a drawer and came up with a pacifier for Jamie. “You guys all set?” “Mhmm,” Ella said. “Yes, Ma’am. Thank you.” “Don’t call me ‘ma’am,” Stacy said with a laugh. “I’m not old.” She turned off the light and closed the door. Jamie looked at Ella, red faced again, and she shrugged and laid down. Jamie would have liked to use the time to talk, though what about he wasn’t sure, but he followed suit and as soon asleep. He woke up with his pacifier was in his mouth and his diapers were wet and felt much heavier than his regular diapers. He didn’t remember doing either of those things. More surprising was that Ella was so close to him. They hadn’t exactly been spooning, but if they’d been caught doing that at summer camp someone would have been calling both their parents. Jamie looked Ella up and down. He was careful not to wake her up. She’d kicked the blanket off herself. She’d always been good looking, but what Jamie liked wasn’t that he was in bed with a woman but that he was in bed with a human. The almost-touch between them had an electric feeling to it that being in the same bed as Manda or being held by Mom didn’t have. This was a person his size, from the same world, from the same species, and the closest her had gotten to another human since Cheryl held his hand in the departure room. He also saw her scares more than he had when she’d shown them to him. They were hard to look at not because they were ugly – they were quite clean and narrow, obviously done by competent surgeons – but because he knew how she came to have them. He saw goosebumps on her upper arm and reached for the blanket, pulling it gently back over her. Despite his efforts he woke her. It startled him when she woke up and reached behind her before he realized she was awake. She found the little monitor and took the batteries out. “Hey,” he said. “Hey,” she responded, turning over to face Jamie and pulling the covers back over herself. “Now we can talk and she won’t think we’re ready to get up.” “We’re not ready to get up?” He felt rested. “We can, but this is private, right?” He saw her point. “I just thought you might like to not be interrupted. When was the last time you got to just talk with a person without being interrupted?” “A long time.” “Me too.” “So …” “So … how do you like the cloth diapers?” She was fishing for a topic. “Um, I like them alright. I liked them more when they were dry. I think. But this isn’t bad.” “It’s sort of like wearing real underwear, or feels like it at first because it’s cotton, and then not at all.” “Yeah, definitely. Also your choice?” “No, actually. Stacy wants to be more environmentally friendly. I only wear disposables when we leave the house.” “Do you have a preference?” “I like the cloth.” “Hmm.” “’Hmm?’” “Yeah, just ‘hmm.’” There was an awkward pause. “You’re wondering why she bottle fed and why I used a pacifier.” Jamie actually wasn’t. “Because I find them comforting and like bonding with Stacy that way, okay?” “Okay,” Jamie said, “It’s the same reason for me. You don’t need to feel defensive about it.” There was another awkward pause. “I drank breastmilk for the first time a couple days ago.” “You’re being nursed now?” “No, one of my Mom’s friends left me a bottle to try at our house.” “I remember that stuff.” “You’ve had it before.” “Yeah, straight from the boob of a monster. But I do miss that stuff.” She got a funny look in her eye. “Makes me antsy thinking about it.” “You don’t ever have it here? Amanda told me you can buy it from people.” “I save it for special occasions. I like it a little too much, if you know what I mean.” He didn’t. “You know what little food is like? Think of that like a lighter synthetic version. Whatever is in there can be pretty addictive.” “Is it bad for you? I’ve been figuring whatever is in little food has to be bad for you if it’s that good.” “No, it’s actually good for you, but you do find yourself getting a little jones going if you don’t get it on a regular schedule. Think of it like sugar: addictive, not acutely dangerous, and when you want a cookie you want a goddam cookie.” “I wonder what little cookies are like dipped in it.” “That is exactly what I mean. You going to start getting it?” “We talked about it, but we didn’t decide.” “I’ll just say it’s better to have it on hand, if you know what I mean, then getting it from someone else.” “I think I know what you mean,” he giggled. “You’re still embarrassed by stuff like that, huh?” “Well, yeah. You’re not?” “Littles in most other countries aren’t given the courtesy of modesty and aren’t expected to give it, either. I’ve seen and been seen doing and having done to me just about everything except sex. Hard to embarrass me now.” He smiled sheepishly at her. “I like this.” “What?” “Just talking with you, being close to you.” He felt her foot touch his under the blanket. When he didn’t pull it away, she ran her foot up his leg a little higher. “I get what you mean. It’s different somehow, than with Stacy or Carol.” “Yeah.” “I guess because we’re both humans. Like, your dog wants to snuggle with you, but they have an even more exuberant reaction to another dog.” The more he looked at her, the more Jamie desperately wanted to touch her. “Do you wanna …” he said, his desire overcoming his fear. “Just touch?” She sighed. “I was hoping you’d ask. I was afraid if I did it’d embarrass you or scare you away. He opened his arms and she inched closer to him so that they holding each other. “Wait,” she said. “Is it okay if I take my shirt off?” That did make Jamie blush every shade of red, but he nodded assent. Without getting out from the covers, she managed to take her shirt and shorts off. “You can, too, if you want.” He shakily took off his tee shirt, and the two of them moved back in their loose embrace. “Mmmmmm,” she said, “Human skin. I can’t believe how much I missed that.” Jamie acknowledged the same feeling, though he also knew it was a night-and-day comparison, his months to her years. She sighed deeply. “Mhmm,” Jamie responded, getting a little lost in the sensation. He didn’t care it was Ella; it could have been any human he had some affection for or even any human he didn’t. It was a human, and that was all that mattered. He started feeling warm and light and comfortable and sleepy again. When he woke up, Ella’s legs were intertwined with his own, and they had drawn close to one another, their bodies pressed together and hands around one another. Jamie realized his hand was on her thigh before he remembered to be embarrassed and concerned he unconsciously, literally, crossed a line. He moved it. “What’d you do that for,” Ella asked, her voice muffled by the covers. “Have you been awake this whole time?” “No. Maybe five minutes.” “We should get dressed before Stacy finds us this way.” “We’re not doing anything wrong.” “Yeah, but will she believe that?” “Even if we told her we had acrobatic monkey sex she wouldn’t care. For one, we’re adults, and for another, pregnancy is not an issue with me.” “Oh, sorry.” He felt very uncomfortable now. “Don’t be.” “Well, I’m not sure if I want to explain it to Mom, so I’d just as soon be found dressed if that’s okay.” They got out from under the covers and found their clothes. Jamie blushed again when he smelled Ella’s diaper. He had never been in a room with her when she needed to be changed like that. In fact, had never been in a room where she was being changed, not in months of daycare. Ella noticed and surmised why. “If you feel that weird about it you might as well poo your diaper, too. I know you do every afternoon around this time.” Now Jamie turned a deeper red. He wasn’t in a position to fault the logic. He turned away from her, then thought that was worse, then turned back toward her, realized that was worse, and then turned around again and did his business. Ella put the batteries back in the monitor, saying, “It’s kinda like having a butler in a way.” She snapped the second battery in. “Hi Stacy, we’re ready to get up.” In less than a minute, Stacy was in the room. “Jamie wants to go first,” Ella said with a wicked grin on her face. Jamie was legs up on the changing table before he knew it. This change was probably the most embarrassing since the first time he’d filled his diaper. A virtual stranger was cleaning him; someone was watching him; and he was excited, and unlike the time he’d been that way with Mel, this time he was fully aware of it. Stacy didn’t seem to notice, or if she did didn’t think anything of it. Ella did notice. “Amanda is going to be here in like an hour and a half, so I’m going to put you into one of Ella’s disposables.” Fine by Jamie. When they were both clean and Stacy had tended to their diapers in the bathroom, they went out to the living room again. Jamie was dressed, but Ella was still in her pajamas. Stacy came out and said, “Yogi needs to go out. I hear you have a fear of dogs, Jamie. Is it okay if I bring him through here?” “Uh, sure,” he said uneasily. In a moment, a black and brown eminence walked through the room with Stacy behind and waited patiently for her to open the front door. Jamie wished it was on a leash. “You didn’t tell me you had a … dog.” “He’s a therapy dog, and my pet. I was afraid you’d not want to come over.” “That’s a little deceptive.” “People wouldn’t keep them if they weren’t safe around littles and kids, Jamie. Besides, Yogi’s only 600 pounds. It’s not like she’s one of the working breeds. I’ll show when she comes back in.” A few minutes later, there was scratching at the door. Jamie could see how a dog door was out of the question when Yogi was let back in. She followed Ella into the living room. “Sit.” She sat. “See, Jamie. She follows directions.” Yogi sniffed Ella and rubbed her head on her. “She loves me. C’mon.” Jamie reluctantly approached, figuring she was right and he did have to get over this, or at least get to a point where it didn’t bother him so much. “Lay down.” Yogi laid down so she was ‘only’ chest high to Jamie, belly high to the taller Ella. Ella sat down in the crescent formed by the curl of Yogi’s body and pulled Jamie down with her. She gave Yogi’s coat a gentle tug. “See? She’s just a big Labrador. We could climb on her, pull on her tail, poke her in the eye – she’d just take it. You’re not saying anything,” Ella realized. “It’s just … hard to get used to.” “C’mere.” She leaned her back into Yogi, who only moved her eyebrows, and Jamie slowly did the same. Yogi turned to sniff him and then went back to resting her huge head on the carpet. “I bet cleaning up after her in the yard is a real treat,” he joked. “Can’t be nearly as bad as changing our diapers,” she retorted. When Amanda arrived to pick him up, she was surprised to find the two of them talking leaning against what was to her a dog. She and Jamie both thanked Stacy and Ella profusely and went home.

Introductions are for telling people who you are and maybe a little about yourself and why you joined the board. If you need to say anything else please find and use the appropriate forum. If you are looking for friends, want a date, need a mommy or etc.. post it in the forum called "The Meeting Place" If you need help, put it in the forum called "Daily Diapers Support" if you are here to chat it goes into whatever topic you want to chat about. If your thread gets moved somewhere else, I DID IT, I am responsible for Sorting out the threads and if they need to be sorted, they will be. If you desperatly can not find what I moved, please message me and I will be happy to help you, or click on the 'Search' link under the banner on the top of every page. Please attempt to search for it before contacting me as I am not always here. If you are here looking for a playmate, friend, buddy, mate, mommy or daddy DO NOT post it in the Newbie Forum! The Meeting Place is Located Here http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showforum=14 This forum is only to tell people about yourself, not to look for someone else or for questions. Daily Diaper Support will answer board questions, and General Discussion is where we talk about everything, please look over the board BEFORE you post to see where your question/topic is the most apporpriate. Thank You!