Getting Surgery in Mexico

[Diapered Dave]

So have you had a leg bag at all, or some kind of bag hanger gizmo?? I'm guessing you have not been able to do the breakfast at the hotel....

[Reddy]

31 minutes ago, cathdiap said:

Great! Can't wait to read about the degree of incontinence and even more excited to read your first reaction to actually being incontinent for the first time. 

🤞🤞👍

 

4 minutes ago, Diapered Dave said:

So have you had a leg bag at all, or some kind of bag hanger gizmo?? I'm guessing you have not been able to do the breakfast at the hotel....

There is no leg bag, but I have a collection bag that has a hanger part, but it mostly sits inside a sort of reusable drawstring bag from the hospital.  So I carry it around in that when I get up (which isn't often).  Otherwise it sits on a footstool pushed up alongside the bed next to me.  I need it close by but it must sit below the level of my bladder.

It's so sentitive to get up and walk a few paces with the catheter that I ended up having absolutely no desire to go downstairs for breakfast.  But, I'm thrilled to hopefully do that tomorrow, with no catheter.  And I realize... in a diaper.

[TheSuperDiaperBoy]

Had the doc said anything about increased kidney disease/infections after this procedure and at home sounding/self catheterization?

[Reddy]

20 minutes ago, TheSuperDiaperBoy said:

Had the doc said anything about increased kidney disease/infections after this procedure and at home sounding/self catheterization?

No, I haven't heard anything about increased kidney disease.  I know one danger to kidneys is high bladder pressure/retention so I imagine it could indirectly lead to kidney damage via strictures.  I don't know of any other kidney risks.  Sounding is an injury risk, and so is catheterization.  Both could also be infection risks.

One thing I know is stricture can increase UTI's.

I don't think I discussed this with the surgeon aside from the initial consultation and discussion of risks, which he said were stricture and sexual side effects.

[TheSuperDiaperBoy]

Based on your experience so far, and if you didn't get the incontinence you wanted, would you get another turp from Dr. Aguilar?

[Reddy]

Just now, TheSuperDiaperBoy said:

Based on your experience so far, and if you didn't get the incontinence you wanted, would you get another turp from Dr. Aguilar?

Yes, based on everything so far, I would come back to him.

[Diapered Dave]

So what are you feeling right now, being just hours from having to wear diapers, with no choice?

[Reddy]

2 minutes ago, Diapered Dave said:

So what are you feeling right now, being just hours from having to wear diapers, with no choice?

I am feeling... very tired of the catheter 🤣 and apprehensive about ever having to need a catheter again.  I'm feeling cooped up and restless from barely being able to move for fear of inflaming the situation down there.  But I also feel like it's been very fun when in bed (after the shower is done) listening to my books and sleeping as long as I please and simply resting.

I'm also feeling very excited to get the catheter out.  A little fear of some pain while taking it out, although not much of that, since I know it would be temporary and not too bad.  And a little hopeful that all the pain goes away as expected but somehow anxious about having worse LUTS.

And very... curious about what my continence situation will be.  Very curious.

[Diapered Dave]

It almost seems like you are not sure that you will need diapers... Do you have doubts that the surgery was successful? You mentioned recently about still being able to "clench" your sphincter muscles... Did you think you wouldn't be able to do that?

[Reddy]

5 minutes ago, Diapered Dave said:

It almost seems like you are not sure that you will need diapers... Do you have doubts that the surgery was successful? You mentioned recently about still being able to "clench" your sphincter muscles... Did you think you wouldn't be able to do that?

Well, I have never needed diapers before.  It seems strange to imagine I will.  I hope the surgery has an effect, but possibly it did not.

Well I wondered about the clenching.  I thought it might feel different.  Plus when I clench it seems to make everything tight, or at least hurt, around the catheter.  So I wonder about that keeping me under control of my bladder.

At this point, I don't think I would really mind if it didn't work.  I did what I could, made the effort, tried to be incontinent, and maybe I can't.  It wouldn't be so bad, just going back to my old life before this pain.

But on the other hand I might be stuck in diapers.  I just can't be sure exactly what will happen.

I was wondering about this the past few days.  However @BrownBobby kind of let me know that it's normal that I would always be able to clench, and confirmed I'm confused and will be in diapers the rest of my life, and really he should know.

So we'll see!

[Diapered Dave]

Well, I've read a lot over the years, about incontinence, prostate surgery, sphincterotomies, etc.... Also, there are some YouTube videos that show the process. Think of your sphincter like a donut... with the donut hole closing and opening, to hold urine or release it. Now imagine you "clench" it closed, but someone carved a grooved channel thru it, so urine still leaks thru that channel, even though you can feel that you clenched it shut.  Same with the bladder neck muscle, even though you can't clench that one by your own will....

[Reddy]

1 hour ago, Diapered Dave said:

Well, I've read a lot over the years, about incontinence, prostate surgery, sphincterotomies, etc.... Also, there are some YouTube videos that show the process. Think of your sphincter like a donut... with the donut hole closing and opening, to hold urine or release it. Now imagine you "clench" it closed, but someone carved a grooved channel thru it, so urine still leaks thru that channel, even though you can feel that you clenched it shut.  Same with the bladder neck muscle, even though you can't clench that one by your own will....

That makes sense.  I truly hope mine acts that way.

I think it would help me to look at a sphincterotomy video (if I can stand to watch it).  It would be good to visualize and understand it.

[Diapered Dave]

What brand of diapers did you bring with you for the trip home? Do you also have booster pad inserts?

[DAQ]

@Reddy so when the cath comes out tomorrow are you going to change the name of the thread?

"Got Surgery in Mexico"

[Reddy]

27 minutes ago, Diapered Dave said:

What brand of diapers did you bring with you for the trip home? Do you also have booster pad inserts?

Trest, Incontrol Select (kind of looks like pampers if anyone isn't familiar), and Northshore Supreme.

I brought 4-5 booster inserts too.

18 minutes ago, DAQ said:

@Reddy so when the cath comes out tomorrow are you going to change the name of the thread?

"Got Surgery in Mexico"

Haha, yes!  I would like to.  I think a mod might be needed to help with that.  We discussed something related briefly on an earlier page, so I think it can be done.

[oznl]

15 minutes ago, Reddy said:

Haha, yes!  I would like to.  I think a mod might be needed to help with that.  We discussed something related briefly on an earlier page, so I think it can be done.

Not necessary I think.  As the thread author, try editing your first post.  My experience is that you can also edit the thread title there.  I'm pretty sure I retrospectively changed the title of my blog/thread.

Congratulations on making it out the other side btw...  Looks like you got to that diving platform, jumped, you made it, you're toweling off outside the pool and pretty soon the endorphin rush should kick in.

[BrownBobby]

2 hours ago, Reddy said:

Well, I have never needed diapers before.  It seems strange to imagine I will.  I hope the surgery has an effect, but possibly it did not.

Well I wondered about the clenching.  I thought it might feel different.  Plus when I clench it seems to make everything tight, or at least hurt, around the catheter.  So I wonder about that keeping me under control of my bladder.

At this point, I don't think I would really mind if it didn't work.  I did what I could, made the effort, tried to be incontinent, and maybe I can't.  It wouldn't be so bad, just going back to my old life before this pain.

But on the other hand I might be stuck in diapers.  I just can't be sure exactly what will happen.

I was wondering about this the past few days.  However @BrownBobby kind of let me know that it's normal that I would always be able to clench, and confirmed I'm confused and will be in diapers the rest of my life, and really he should know.

So we'll see!

Rmemeber...having the ability to do something with those muscles, and having that "something" be something of value is two very, very different things.

In my case, I can squeeze and try to hold it...and if I'm really lucky and do it before i start peeing, I might buy three to five seconds before it all comes out anyway.  If it's mid-stream? No point in trying - it's just going to make a mess of things.

[Reddy]

3 minutes ago, oznl said:

Not necessary I think.  As the thread author, try editing your first post.  My experience is that you can also edit the thread title there.  I'm pretty sure I retrospectively changed the title of my blog/thread.

Congratulations on making it out the other side btw...  Looks like you got to that diving platform, jumped, you made it, you're toweling off outside the pool and pretty soon the endorphin rush should kick in.

Ah yes, thank you!  The title has been updated!!! 😁

Yes, I think I made it!  I think it will start to kick in tomorrow!  It will be my big reveal.

 

3 minutes ago, BrownBobby said:

Rmemeber...having the ability to do something with those muscles, and having that "something" be something of value is two very, very different things.

In my case, I can squeeze and try to hold it...and if I'm really lucky and do it before i start peeing, I might buy three to five seconds before it all comes out anyway.  If it's mid-stream? No point in trying - it's just going to make a mess of things.

This... makes me very, very excited. 😁

[Diapered Dave]

2 minutes ago, BrownBobby said:

Rmemeber...having the ability to do something with those muscles, and having that "something" be something of value is two very, very different things.

In my case, I can squeeze and try to hold it...and if I'm really lucky and do it before i start peeing, I might buy three to five seconds before it all comes out anyway.  If it's mid-stream? No point in trying - it's just going to make a mess of things.

So even with a stricture, you're still going to leak, and you still need diapers....

 

5 minutes ago, BrownBobby said:

In my case, I can squeeze and try to hold it...and if I'm really lucky and do it before i start peeing, I might buy three to five seconds before it all comes out anyway.  If it's mid-stream? No point in trying - it's just going to make a mess of things.

So after my post above, another question came to mind... 

The way you phrased the comment above, I take it that you are not just continuously dripping? That you can feel the urge to pee building, but clenching won't stop it? 

[BrownBobby]

8 minutes ago, Diapered Dave said:

So even with a stricture, you're still going to leak, and you still need diapers....

 

So after my post above, another question came to mind... 

The way you phrased the comment above, I take it that you are not just continuously dripping? That you can feel the urge to pee building, but clenching won't stop it? 

No, I don't constantly dribble.  Part of that was developing a stricture, but part of it is just as someone said earlier in the thread - there's so many things that affect your ability to hold it.  All a surgery like this does is get rid of a lot of the consciously-controlled ones.

Case in point, if I have to mess, I'll start holding urine, just because the pelvic floor is trying to hold things in.  But...the moment I do anything to relax my pelvic floor, it comes out.  Messing, laughing, even getting distracted for too long...and, as a fun benefit, it's become very uncomfortable to hold back from messing for any length of time.  I do rather enjoy that as an unintended side effect - I *can* control when I mess, as long as I'm willing to pay the price...:-p

[Little Sherri]

50 minutes ago, Reddy said:

Trest, Incontrol Select (kind of looks like pampers if anyone isn't familiar), and Northshore Supreme.

I've never worn Trest, but I have heard good things. I am familiar with the NorthShore Supreme, and very familiar with the Rearz/Incontrol Select, because I live less than an hour from Rearz World Headquarters.

The NorthShore Supreme punches above its weight for what I would call a medium-duty diaper. Their MegaMax is the diaper equivalent of a 747 in terms of capacity, but the Supreme puts on a good show - call it an A320. I'm not the biggest fan of the tab-on-a-tab system they use, but I burned through a case of them a while back and I got used to it. They are a good "daytime weight" diaper, discrete under clothing, but with real range to them - they swell up more than you think they will and hold more as well. 

You have the Mega class looked after with the Trest, if my understanding of them is correct. Wear those to bed. 

The select, I'm afraid, may betray you. I grew up in Pampers so I have a soft spot for them for that reason, however I have experienced their fickle performance enough times to swear off them... but then Rearz will go and put them on sale for $60 CAD a case or something like that, and like the mob, they pull me back in. I find that the vintage baby diaper single-tab-per-side design results in compromises, either around the legs, or around the waist (and maybe the waste...). A common failure point for me was the top of the front of the diaper sagging down and "yawning" open as they started to get weighed down a bit, and then the next thing you know, you've peed over the top at the front, or, the hem of your shirt is in your diaper and wicking dampness up your tummy. They have also been known to exhibit that most classical of Rearz failure modes, the press-out leak at the back of the thigh. 

So, you can push the Trest, you can push the Supreme, but don't push the Select. Wear them during the day, while walking around, but not while lying down, definitely not while sleeping, and, if you have an inkling that your baby diaper is feeling "pretty wet", it's time to change it, or, start sitting on a towel, because it's not if it leaks, but when. 

[Spargano]

My hats off to you, @Reddy! I have read through many incontinence forums and one of the reasons many individuals deal with their incontinence as opposed to trying surgeries like Botox, intersim, artificial urinary sphincter is the reality that it is not a garuntee of 100% continence and so they don’t see the point of spending all that money if it might fail.

 

for this elective surgery, you have spent over 30,000 dollars with the possibility that it might not work, that it very likely will lead to painful strictures and the need to catheterize in the future all for the CHANCE of success. That is a special kind of devotion, trailblazing and guts. @BobbyBrownwalked this path first and took the slings of the untrodden path. How wonderful that he has gifted you and us with his experience that your journey might be easier than his.

 

i hope that all the worries and whatnot are for nothing, that you have perfect incontinence and that your stricture prevention strategy works. 
 

a question for you both. And maybe to @cathdiap as well, does their ever come a time where a stricture will NOT be looming, when @reddy can just live his life without having to use a sound or catheter to keep things open?

[bwakee]

4 hours ago, Reddy said:

Well, I have never needed diapers before.

Well, technically... at least once before. A time you will soon return to. ❤️ 

[rick50]

12 hours ago, Reddy said:

🤞🤞👍

 

There is no leg bag, but I have a collection bag that has a hanger part, but it mostly sits inside a sort of reusable drawstring bag from the hospital.  So I carry it around in that when I get up (which isn't often).  Otherwise it sits on a footstool pushed up alongside the bed next to me.  I need it close by but it must sit below the level of my bladder.

It's so sentitive to get up and walk a few paces with the catheter that I ended up having absolutely no desire to go downstairs for breakfast.  But, I'm thrilled to hopefully do that tomorrow, with no catheter.  And I realize... in a diaper.

great to hear you are recovering well from your surgery, what size catheter are you fitted with?

[cathdiap]

4 hours ago, Spargano said:

a question for you both. And maybe to @cathdiap as well, does their ever come a time where a stricture will NOT be looming, when @reddy can just live his life without having to use a sound or catheter to keep things open?

I hope so for @Reddy and of course also for @BrownBobby after his upcoming surgery.

I use stents to simulate incontinence and have never experienced a stricture. Not even after wearing them for months on end. I would almost say the opposite, because I feel like I am more open after removing the stent. That's why I suggested to Reddy to use a catheter one night a week, maybe that will help prevent the formation of strictures. That would still be an acceptable solution in my opinion. Especially because the skin can then also recover from being wet in diapers for a week.

5 hours ago, BrownBobby said:

Case in point, if I have to mess, I'll start holding urine, just because the pelvic floor is trying to hold things in.  But...the moment I do anything to relax my pelvic floor, it comes out.  Messing, laughing, even getting distracted for too long...and, as a fun benefit, it's become very uncomfortable to hold back from messing for any length of time.  I do rather enjoy that as an unintended side effect - I *can* control when I mess, as long as I'm willing to pay the price...:-p

Wow, this is almost the same as what I'm experiencing when I wear my stent for weeks on end. I will continue to leak though, but certainly less when the rectum starts to fill with stool. I think this is because the rectum gets bigger and harder and starts to push against the back of the bladder, causing it to tilt a bit and making the outflow of urine a bit more difficult. However, when the bladder begins to contract, due to some external trigger, like laughing, getting out in the cold, washing your hands with cold water, the sound of running water it is game over and flooding will occur.

The same goes for holding back my bowel movements, it is much more difficult and painful than without the stent. I even went through a phase where I accidentally pooped in my diaper during long walks. I literally had to train and strengthen my anus to prevent more accidents. Coz I really hate poopy diapers.