The Name calling has to stop on here

[Kawaharu]

One thing I have to say about the chat on DD is that the Name calling has to stop and people have to stop calling people a troll. It's bullying, demeaning, and insensitive towards people. People who do that on the chat are bullies and should be called out. The people who call people a troll on here are the reason why people who have Incontinence issues don't want anything to do with ABDL people.

[DailyDi]

People shouldn’t be doing that. 

[Kawaharu]

18 minutes ago, DailyDi said:

People shouldn’t be doing that. 

They have and I have seen it on the chat room all the time and the Mods are not stopping it. It's getting so toxic in the chatroom that I feel unsafe entering the chatroom

[Alyeskabird]

Sadly that BS goes both ways.

I do have to agree, the chats can be pretty uncomfortable at times to log into. 

Still, there are trolls on all sides. Does not help that a lot with accuse a person of being a troll just cause they disagree. There are not enough mods to really really keep track of enough to actualy do a whole lot.

[Kawaharu]

25 minutes ago, Alyeskabird said:

Sadly that BS goes both ways.

I do have to agree, the chats can be pretty uncomfortable at times to log into. 

Still, there are trolls on all sides. Does not help that a lot with accuse a person of being a troll just cause they disagree. There are not enough mods to really really keep track of enough to actualy do a whole lot.

At the same time, it's becoming so toxic that it feels uncomfortable and unsafe to enter the chat room. DD needs to do better to make the chat room safer and more comfortable. 

[feralfreak]

take screenshots, send them to dailydi, i bet he will ban them for a while, i would if i was a mod or admin. i hate bullies

[Kawaharu]

11 hours ago, feralfreak said:

take screenshots, send them to dailydi, i bet he will ban them for a while, i would if i was a mod or admin. i hate bullies

The people who make the chat room very toxic, unwelcoming and unsafe are the ones who should be booted from the site.

[Elfy]

Mods can't do anything about things they don't see. If someone says something insulting screenshot it and send it to one of us.

[DiapergirlWB]

18 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

One thing I have to say about the chat on DD is that the Name calling has to stop and people have to stop calling people a troll. It's bullying, demeaning, and insensitive towards people. People who do that on the chat are bullies and should be called out. The people who call people a troll on here are the reason why people who have Incontinence issues don't want anything to do with ABDL people.

How is 'troll' anything to do with incontinence?  A troll on the internet is someone who says or does things just to get a reaction or hurt someone.  A troll is an internet bully.  I fail to see any connection to incontinent people and ABDL people.

 

[carsfan]

Because according to the op anyone who is different than her is a troll. Trans people, those who enjoy diapers without a medical reason etc. This thread is hilarious.

[spoonchicken]

   No one on the Admi team wants to start displining / banning anyone as a means of "solving this problem." Instead, I invite everyone step back, take a deep breath, and listen well to the Official Wisdom of Spoony...

   This whole thing got started because Kawaharu does tend to repeat herself in Chat ( i.e., saying the same thing or things over & over again).  Yes, this can be & is sometimes, slightly annoying to others.   So, as far as being "part of the solution" in the future, perhaps Kawaharu could add some variety to her dialog.(hint hint). 

   That being said, Kawaharu has not done, or has been doing, anything wrong ! NOTHING! ...The worst thing that Kawa could be accused of is being boring to chat with in the ChatRoom. Bearing in mind all possible ChatRoom sins, that's nothing for folks to get their diapers all twisted up about !  Therefore, please don't. Troll-like behaviour is strongly frowned upon here and not easily tolerated. False and/or mistaken accusations of trolliness are equally frowned upon.  It's bad enough when "real" problems arise. Last thing the Admin Team needs is "people bearing false witness against thy neighbor" and turning molehills into mountains. Seems like there's more than enough of that in the real world, so finding temporary solace & shelter from exactly that sort of thing is a large part of why adult websites are supposed to be emotionally sheltering and nurturing kinds of places. ( Or at least that's what we're all about here @ DD)...

   As I see it, the primary problem is this...a failure to listen properly. In the ChatRoom one will sometimes encounter several mindsets sharing the same space at the same time. Kawaharu is communicating using a very specific mind-set. Sometimes her "wavelength" is in tune with others in the room, and sometimes not so much.  Why does she keep repeating herself? Simply to seek another chatter who *is* on her wavelength. This is no different than constantly repeating in Chat things like "PM open"..."Any mommies out there PM me "...and so on & so forth. Bear in mind the purpose of any Chatroom...to seek out & REACH OUT to others who share your interests. Reaching out & seeking out is exactly, and only, what Kawaharu has been doing. And if I'm not too terribly mistaken, that's exactly what ALL the rest of us are doing, isn't it?                

   I call upon everyone to cease & desist with the name-calling...period. We are an all-inclusive community here, and that's that. We welcome ALL manner & version of ABDL people here, and do not discrminate against any of "our own kind". Doesn't matter if you're a "mainstream" sort of ABDL, or a bit "extreme"? (shall we say?)          And YES, that unconditionally includes the "trans" community as well. I'm getting tired of this website being falsely accused of not being trans-friendly. WE ARE. The only problem is that (sadly) not every single member here feels that way. To them I say: If you don't have anything nice to say, you *really* are better off not saying anything.  And to our trans members and friends I say this: We aren't in Chat 24/7 to defend you as much as we'd both like. Apologies, but as you're perfectly aware, this world isn't perfect and neither is this website. Point being...It can be all too easy for trans-folks to be mis-interpreted, in a very similar manner to what Kawaharu has recently experienced. I ask you to "not react (or perhaps over-react)" with the proverbial hair-trigger. Being here isn't all that different from trans folks going into gay bars. Most of the guys will cool about it...and some of them won't be so cool about it. Sadly, the same thing still exists for you... even here.  Whether it's something posted, or said in the Chatroom, the Admin Team (as always) asks you to report any & all anti-trans sentiments, and it will be dealt with. I'm not asking you (or anyone) to not stand up for themselves. I'm simply asking that folks try to avoid full-fledged mud-slinging contests. BS like that typically gets both parties banned. 

We must stand united amongst ourselves to protect us all from the prejudice & hate of the Vanilla world. I don't have to remind anyone that the Vanilla world considers us to be mentally-deficient creepy closet-pedo freaks. We know better than that, but they don't. Strength in numbers, folks. Here, we have numbers  on our side. Let's not shoot ourselves in the foot. 

   In conclusion, let everyone be reminded of the basic ground rules for proper behavior here. No name-calling, even if it's "justified". If there's a problem of some kind, back off and simply report it to the Admin Team, and let us handle it. Don't get smeared with someone elses poo just because they were acting like a shithead. 

[feralfreak]

11 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

The people who make the chat room very toxic, unwelcoming and unsafe are the ones who should be booted from the site.

thats what i was telling you to do that for, so that there is evidence of being trolls/bullies to get the trolls/bullies ordered by a mod to settle down, banned, or anything in between. was i unclear in what i meant?

[Kawaharu]

18 hours ago, feralfreak said:

thats what i was telling you to do that for, so that there is evidence of being trolls/bullies to get the trolls/bullies ordered by a mod to settle down, banned, or anything in between. was i unclear in what i meant?

Well, the Chat room is very toxic, unsafe and unwelcoming towards people. They have made it very hostile and cliquey 

[spoonchicken]

2 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

Well, the Chat room is very toxic, unsafe and unwelcoming towards people. They have made it very hostile and cliquey 

   Sorry Kawaharu. but I, for one, couldn't disagree with you any more. I do not wish to "attack" you, but I will do my respectful best to explain why I think you're so terribly wrong.

   "Hostile"..."cliquey"..."toxic"...unsafe & unwelcoming"...OK; let's talk about all that.

   "Cliquey"...No, or at least nowhere to the degree you perceive it. I believe that what you see as "cliquey" is nothing more than...people having favorite other people to chat with. Most if not all of us go into the Chatroom expecting & seeking some quality Chat. Not just generally speaking, but hopefully with someone considered a "friend" instead of "just another person in Chat". Those are the best of personal connections to be made here, therefore both parties enjoy chatting with each other. Sometimes, however (and perhaps frequently), when two people start chatting away at high speed, it can be difficult at times for anyone else to participate in the ongoing topic of discussion. This isn't automatically rude...it's simply people chatting in a ChatRoom! POINT BEING: From your perspective, perhaps the issue would seem to be nothing more than "your" people not being present in Chat at the same time you are. Therefore you've had challenges in getting folks to respond to you as directly as you wish them to. That is also not folks being rude...it's a simple matter of no one else in Chat wanting to discuss your exact statement / suggested topic-of-discussion.  To be brutally frank, that's just you not being fun and/or interesting to chat with. Assuming I'm not wrong about that, the truth & weight of that reality falls directly on you and nowhere else.

   "Hostility"...This is going to be natural reaction when someone arbitrarily tries to change the topic or the "flow of the chat". To be blunt, one simply doesn't speak up & expect the whole to stop & take notice, let alone respond (politely or otherwise). Yes, this does happen, and not infrequently (especially when someone enters the chatroom & says hello and people respond). But mostly, it's considered rude in the exact same manner as (IRL) walking up to a group of people, making a quick statement, and expecting the entire conversation to instantly pivot in the direction sought. Rudeness such as that is typically not rewarded with kindness.

   "Toxic" & "Unsafe & Unwelcoming"...Wrong, wrong and wrong again in my opinion. What you perceive as toxic is nothing more than people getting "sick & tired" of you, Kawaharu. Repeating yourself over & over again does NOT make a good impression, to say the least.  With the exception of the site owner (lol), this site revolves around no one person...including you, Kawa. I've said it before and I'll say it again...you *really* need to widen / broaden your chatroom statements & dialog, and severely narrow & diminish your false expectations. The allegation of "Unsafe" is a patently false one. This site works very hard to keep the entire site (and especially the ChatRoom) as safe for everyone as can possibly be done. Do we occassionally get trolls and HNGs around here? Yes. But over the course of time we've done a damned good job of both weeding them out, and discouraging newbies such as that to be here.  Ask any long-term member here (including bio-females) and see for yourself what they say about it. 

   In closing, Kawaharu, I gotta tell you...You're the problem more than any other aspect of the overall situation. It all starts with you. I don't wish to "attack" you. My only interest is in defending this site and its membership from what I see as unjustified & self-serving defamation. You clearly strike me as the kind of person who can never be wrong, must always be right, and anything wrong can absolutely never be your fault. There's a noun to describe that sort of Person. It's called being a "Karen". Don't be like that. When I said this website is all-inclusive, perhaps I should have specified that "Karens" are even less welcome here than anywhere else, both online and IRL. This website is a safe haven for people to get away from both the Vanilla world-at-large, and especially from "Karen" behaviour. The entire Admin Team stands ready to keep it that way. Do yourself a favor and don't be a "Karenharu". Ship up or ship out...it's up to you. 

[Cute_Kitten]

I just want to give my own experiences with the Dd chat. Granted I'm not on there much, but I've chatted with a lot of chill and fun people. The conversations can be random but I think that's just the nature of any general chatroom.  Not everyone will enjoy a topic of conversation at all times, that's a given. Like if everyone is talking about football and I'm not a football fan I'll just go off and do something else while I wait for the flow of conversation to just naturally switch topics.  Another alternative is to see if anyone wants to PM so then it's a more personalized chat and you'll have more influence on the topic of conversation. 

If anyone feels bullied etc...well as already stated but it bears repeating, screenshot it and send it to the mods. That way the mods have evidence to make a decision on. For example,  They can decide "Yes this is clearly bullying" or "No, they just asked you to stop a behavior. That is not bullying". Etc. 

[Little Sherri]

I'm not frequently in the chat room these days, but I have whiled away many minutes and hours there over the years, and I would say this: obviously, it's imperfect, as all things are, and the mods and admins are stretched and can't police everything everyone says. I would add to that the caveat that one should perhaps be careful what one wishes for... when a person thinks they are on the right side of the "law", they can tend to righteously expect that those who enforce the laws will be omnipresent and will smite transgressors immediately, but, when they find themselves on the opposite side, all of a sudden, they wish there was some room for disagreement and latitude. It's like wishing a traffic cop was there to nail that jerk who just crossed three lanes without signaling... but then wishing they'd take a more liberal approach to the speed limits, when you get pulled over for going 74 in a 65 zone... "Wait, no, this isn't the law I want rigidly enforced! It's the other laws!" 

Frankly, I find it bordering on miraculous, how generally open and free and safe the chat feels most of the time. The internet is the wild West, and keyboard commandos tend to spray bullets in all directions. Just go look at X (formerly Twitter, as everyone is required to note...).  This site does a pretty good job, considering that the mods are unpaid and it runs 24/7. An expectation of a kindergarten level of supervision on a site like this is unrealistic, and, I would suggest, probably also unwanted, by a majority of the participants. There are sites out there where the chats are rigidly policed... and they're generally awful and largely unfrequented. 

I think the level of balance achieved here, and the commitment to hunt down and censure flagrant, deliberate transgressors of the community norms, is commendable. 

[rusty pins]

I go to the chat room maybe once a week, sometimes more.  I have never seen what you are talking about and I have never gotten the idea it's toxic at all.  Yes, when people start chatting about baby or silly stuff, I as a DL will often announce that my PM is open.  Others like me who may not be interested in the baby talk going on might want to chat privetly with someone who may have a topic that suits their interests more.  I don't see the name calling, yelling or any of that.  There are many different people with many different interests and each are allowed to chat about them if they are not breaking the rules.  If a chat is going on that I have no interest, I multi task and wait for something that does interest me, or I ask if anyone wants to PM.  Most I may see is someone reminding a member, usually a newer member that they must ask for permission first before chatting privetly.  Are you sure you are in the same chat room as the rest of us?

[feralfreak]

On 12/18/2023 at 6:08 PM, Kawaharu said:

Well, the Chat room is very toxic, unsafe and unwelcoming towards people. They have made it very hostile and cliquey 

my question is not answered, ill ask again,was anything i said unclear?