Is becoming indifferent to leaking urine a good thing or bad thing in your book?

[Enthusi]

Recently I’ve been reflecting on just how little I care that I’m leaking urine.  I don’t know if it’s like this for anyone else but I’m used to a little voice in my head that reminds me that I had an “accident” whenever I would uncontrollably wet myself. But recently that voice has been muted.  It’s as if the act of wetting myself is no longer being flagged by my brain as being out of the ordinary.  In fact sometimes it doesn’t even feel like like I’m wetting even if the physical sensation is the same as always.  Instead it’s more of a realization that the urine my kidneys made is starting to make its way out of me and into my diaper.  
 

All of this is great, except that I am starting to forget just how big of a deal it is that I uncontrollably urinate on myself.  It’s like I have to remind myself that for most active adults, even losing a tiny bit of urine just once is a memorable and potentially very embarrassing, even humiliating event.  There’s a risk that one day I will leak or let it slip that I’m soaked and need a diaper change in the wrong context or something.     I have to trust myself that I won’t lose all touch with what’s considered “normal” bladder control.  Though on the plus side if it happens, it will be an opportunity to break the taboo associated with incontinence, so that’s good, right? 
 

Anyone else gone through this? 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

At that age, a bad thing. It could be prostate cancer, usually very treatable if caught in time. Above age 50 it is somewhat normal to lose a few drops here and there. Also, do you want to go around smelling like a badly kept mens' room? Get  thee to a physician

[deewet]

For middle age or older women, especially after birthing children, this is a common problem these days-just look at all the products being sold for just this situation.  For older men, especially after mid 50, it is also becoming much more prevalent.   Not sure the reasons in that case, but it certainly is happening, I am living proof of that and I see my urologist every year and GP twice.  The point, here again there are many products available to manage this with, so it obviously is very common today!!

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Just now, deewet said:

For middle age or older women, especially after birthing children, this is a common problem these days-just look at all the products being sold for just this situation.  For older men, especially after mid 50, it is also becoming much more prevalent.   Not sure the reasons in that case, but it certainly is happening, I am living proof of that and I see my urologist every year and GP twice.  The point, here again there are many products available to manage this with, so it obviously is very common today!!

It is normal due to continued growth of the prostate. Howevert, without the proper testing, it is indistinguishable from the run of the mill prostate cancer. At age 39 it is abnormal Hie thee hence to a physician

[DiapergirlWB]

Um he has been actively wearing diapers to lose control, seems like that is just progressing to the next level as even the awareness of something that he never uses (control) is fading.  Not some medical condition.  Had it been a sudden thing out of nowhere then have some worry.   I know how after a few days because i am diapered so much the awarness of wetting really drops after that much time I don't think I would notice anything ever.  @Enthusifrom his posts is quite interested in how he progresses that keeps it somewhat in his mind so it's taking longer to fade but it is finally fading.  Seems like a normal progression to me.

 

 

4 hours ago, Little BabyDoll Christine said:

It is normal due to continued growth of the prostate. Howevert, without the proper testing, it is indistinguishable from the run of the mill prostate cancer. At age 39 it is abnormal Hie thee hence to a physician

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Just now, DiapergirlWB said:

Um he has been actively wearing diapers to lose control, seems like that is just progressing to the next level as even the awareness of something that he never uses (control) is fading.  Not some medical condition.  Had it been a sudden thing out of nowhere then have some worry.   I know how after a few days because i am diapered so much the awarness of wetting really drops after that much time I don't think I would notice anything ever.  @Enthusifrom his posts is quite interested in how he progresses that keeps it somewhat in his mind so it's taking longer to fade but it is finally fading.  Seems like a normal progression to me.

 

 

 

Then wy aks the question if that is what he wanted

[Enthusi]

@Little BabyDoll Christine, @DiapergirlWB is correct… It has been  a long time goal of mine to lose bladder control and I’ve been working towards that goal for years and I’ve been overwhelming successful.   

What is different now is that my incontinence is so normal to me it almost feels trivial.  It’s hard to even classify my involuntary wetting as “accidents” as that conveys intentionality.     While that’s generally a good thing,  it also means I’m starting to forget how abnormal it is for most adults to involuntarily  pee themselves.  And that has the potential to cause big problems for me down the road. 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Just now, Enthusi said:

@Little BabyDoll Christine, @DiapergirlWB is correct… It has been  a long time goal of mine to lose bladder control and I’ve been working towards that goal for years and I’ve been overwhelming successful.   

What is different now is that my incontinence is so normal to me it almost feels trivial.  It’s hard to even classify my involuntary wetting as “accidents” as that conveys intentionality.     While that’s generally a good thing,  it also means I’m starting to forget how abnormal it is for most adults to involuntarily  pee themselves.  And that has the potential to cause big problems for me down the road. 

Did you ever hear "Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it". Well, you got it. Should have thought of that before That is why I do not do such things. At this point, the question is irrelevant since it changes nothing as you are not likely to be able to reverse the process

Asking the question left me and another with the idea that it was not a fait accomplis nor something you were trying to do

[FreeFlowin]

2 hours ago, Enthusi said:

@Little BabyDoll Christine, @DiapergirlWB is correct… It has been  a long time goal of mine to lose bladder control and I’ve been working towards that goal for years and I’ve been overwhelming successful.   

What is different now is that my incontinence is so normal to me it almost feels trivial.  It’s hard to even classify my involuntary wetting as “accidents” as that conveys intentionality.     While that’s generally a good thing,  it also means I’m starting to forget how abnormal it is for most adults to involuntarily  pee themselves.  And that has the potential to cause big problems for me down the road. 

I feel like one of the biggest challenges for you at this point might just be acceptance of it all and letting go of any shame associated with it. There's a lot I could say about that topic, but the most important thing is to realize that a lot more people wear diapers than most people realize, and it's really nobody's business what anybody wears for undergarments, whether it's for medical health, mental health, or comfort reasons.

You also mentioned that it has potential to cause problems for you down the road, and I think that if you feel that way, you should really begin analyzing all the parts of your life where you think diapers might cause the most issues. And there's many areas you may have to look at; Your romantic relationships, you jobs/future jobs, traveling, physical hobbies/sports, swimming, your family dynamic, ect. MOST activities are not going to be impacted in any way (or very little) by wearing diapers. In fact, some professions and hobbies may even benefit from it. The most important thing is to make sure the people in your life are understanding and to embrace those benefits that your diapers do allow you. 

I just wanted to respond since it seems we are a similar age, but both dealing with our DL identity in different ways, and personally, I've found it's very important to confront those questions sooner than later.

[DiapergirlWB]

3 hours ago, Enthusi said:

@Little BabyDoll Christine, @DiapergirlWB is correct… It has been  a long time goal of mine to lose bladder control and I’ve been working towards that goal for years and I’ve been overwhelming successful.   

What is different now is that my incontinence is so normal to me it almost feels trivial.  It’s hard to even classify my involuntary wetting as “accidents” as that conveys intentionality.     While that’s generally a good thing,  it also means I’m starting to forget how abnormal it is for most adults to involuntarily  pee themselves.  And that has the potential to cause big problems for me down the road. 

I've sat back and evaluated whenever I've had a new experience.  Like when I really realized what the difference between always using a diaper and needing a diaper is, or when I had some accidents after an extended wearing..i really sat back and soul searched "is this what i want?"  Each time I found the answer to be yes.  If these get me into a situation where i slip up or get exposed then that's the life of someone in diapers.  If you are going to go for diaper necessity you ARE going to get found out.  If that is really a problem then you need to do some soul searching.  I think FreeFlowing said ypu need to let go of the last bit of guilt and just accept it.

[jeremy12312]

I mean this in the most loving way possible.  What are life goal are you going to work on achieving next once you finally declare success with this one? You've invested so much time and energy, and it seems like you're trying to hold onto this goal even though you're already there.

[Enthusi]

3 hours ago, jeremy12312 said:

I mean this in the most loving way possible.  What are life goal are you going to work on achieving next once you finally declare success with this one?

Good point!  Yes I agree the chase is pretty much over for me insofar as I’m stuck in diapers the rest of my life, and it does have me asking what’s best for me?

However in this case, it’s less about acceptance.  I already accept I’m in diapers and incontinent.  This was more of a reflection about the vaguely unsettling realization that I’m not nearly as self-conscious about being incontinent as I used to be, that I’m running the risk of losing perspective taking.   I tried to couch it as a question to spur conversation, but that ended up making it more confusing. 
 

Though to answer your question, even though I’m “at goal” my journey very much continues and I’m curious to see where it will take me.   I’m also trying to shift more to offer support for others like me who have a desire to be fully incontinent and I’m putting more effort into improving my overall health.  

[Enthusi]

@Little BabyDoll Christine This is clearly not one of my better posts.  I did a piss-poor job of conveying my message.  Pun intended! ? This was not meant to be a be careful what you wish for post. I have absolutely no regrets about my decision and I have no desire to retrain.  

All I was trying to say was that for better or for worse, as my incontinence progresses I am becoming progressively less  self-conscious about being incontinent and that’s bound to have ramifications for me.  I was curious if that’s an issue for others who are incontinent as well.   
 

[Wet Knight]

On 8/21/2022 at 5:43 AM, Germanium said:

I wish I could become more indifferent to being wet. My body just clamps down if it thinks my diaper will leak while laying in bed.

It is just in bed that I really wish my body would let go. I can pee but soon as it seems I could leak it clamps shut.

 

Make sure that your mattress is very well protected and instead of wetting a nappy in bed, wet into a bedpad.

Get yourself 4 or 6 bedpads to allow for washing, and sleep naked with one under and one over you.

[FretaBWet]

On 8/18/2022 at 12:46 AM, Enthusi said:

 

However in this case, it’s less about acceptance.  I already accept I’m in diapers and incontinent.  This was more of a reflection about the vaguely unsettling realization that I’m not nearly as self-conscious about being incontinent as I used to be, that I’m running the risk of losing perspective taking.   I tried to couch it as a question to spur conversation, but that ended up making it more confusing.  

Perspective is always changing. If you look at your continence as a fixed point your perspective going into your untraining would be very different than it is looking back.

Had you considered that now that you're incontinent you shouldn't be worrying about anything. You shouldn't be self-conscious about being incontinent because you have all this experience in being incontinent. This should be your time to enjoy the freedom you've worked for.

Hugs,

Freta

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, FretaBWet said:

Perspective is always changing. If you look at your continence as a fixed point your perspective going into your untraining would be very different than it is looking back.

Had you considered that now that you're incontinent you shouldn't be worrying about anything. You shouldn't be self-conscious about being incontinent because you have all this experience in being incontinent. This should be your time to enjoy the freedom you've worked for.

Hugs,

Freta

@FretaBWet@Enthusi

I believe that you are correct: incontinence is nothing to fear, and incontinence is nothing to be ashamed of.  if your aim is to become incontinent , and you actually succeed, as you have  @Enthusi, you now have the experience of going through it, and now that you are incontinent, it'll be a normal part of your everyday life.You should not feel self-conscious if you leak, or if something happens, and you shouldn't worry about being incontinent because you have the experience : you may have had differing perspectives back when you started , and they might be a tad bit different now , but you are now incontinent , and you should not worry anymore about that. It is a part of who you are and what you are , and as far as I can tell if a person is willing to go through training to undo their potty training because they choose to, then you should be able to be the victor here, and enjoy the spoils that come with your success . You have your diapers, you have your diagnosis on your medical records, and you can wear diapers wherever you want whenever you want , and no one should be giving you any grief about that .

as she says, I would enjoy, and I do enjoy my life as it is. Part of the reason why I went to diapers 24/7 is because of incontinence, part of it was because of mobility, and part of it was because of the fact that I have so much stress that I was dealing with that it was not helping me mentally inside. When you put a diaper on for example, you realize that your diaper is there to help you to protect you, and it is expected that you would use it if you put it on. Now that I am incontinent, and that I have a mobility disability, and I am aging, wearing a diaper is the least of my worries, because I'm not worried about it. I can go anywhere, and I can wear a diaper, and no one should be the wiser, and no one should worry about it, other than me and the people I trust, because I'm the ones that's dealing with the feelings and the emotions and the physical changes, as well as the person who is performing the changes and the cleanup and the garbage removal.

We all know that adults wear diapers, and that is a fact! Regardless of who says what, that happens. We still have the stigmas and the inaccuracies and the eroded sense of what our community is and what it stands for, and what we believe in, and that is because of people who write books and articles and things that put us in a negative light. Being incontinent means that you may not be able to control certain muscles the deal with you releasing pee and poop. Being incontinent means that you may not have the ability to feel it when you release, or it happens without you knowing about it, and the only time you know about it is when it is time to change.

Being incontinent means that you change the way you take care of your bathroom management skills, and what you have to do when you decide to wear diapers or when you change them. It means that you have to change your thinking so that you are not worried so much about whether you have to go to the bathroom, because you will go to the bathroom: it's just that you will go into the bathroom sometimes, and then use the diaper, change it and walk out. You also may be somewhere and have to go to the bathroom so you just release. The good thing is, regardless of where you are, you can release. You don't have to run like a wild man to get somewhere to go to the bathroom and you don't have to hurt yourself getting there. Because I have understood this, it makes perfect sense to me. Most of the the problem that I see is that people need to be educated, and while we can educate some people, we won't be able to affect everyone, but we try to do our best to let them know what we deal with and why we deal with it.

@Enthusi man, you've earned what you have! Congratulations! Now you have exactly what you wanted , and I have exactly what I need , because in your case you wanted to become incontinent, in my case I already was , I was just having more accidents than normal, and decided from all the years I was doing laundry, that it would be easier just to use diapers. I have a medical reasoning like you do, so no one is going to challenge that , and if they do well, we can just have them go to our medical records and look it up . As I've said before, wearing diapers is no big deal, and in my case they helped me become a better person because I don't have to worry about so much stress anymore . The most rudimentary function that you learn as a child is to control your urine and your bowels period prior to gaining control, you wear diapers because you don't know when where or how you will release, so you have your parents carrying a bag around so that you can be changed if it's necessary . Because you decided that you wanted to become incontinent, and you have succeeded and no uncertain terms, you don't have to feel bad anymore, you don't have to worry anymore , if you've accepted the fact that you're incontinent, you will probably understand that you will also deal with the occasional leak or wet pants or wet something . I've had it happen to me where I'm sitting on a chair , and I have my washable pad under me . I'm glad I have it under me, but I'm not gonna worry if for some reason I don't make it to the bathroom in time . That's just part of what happens, and it's partnered of being incontinent . This way, we don't have to run to the bathroom, and we don't have to wait in line, like sometimes at the fairs and the amusement parks for example , and we don't have to feel guilty or ashamed or guilt tripped: this is part of our life , and life has challenges. They always tell me that God does not give you a challenge that he does not think you can handle . Well, I'm going to say the same to you he does not give us challenges that we cannot deal with period you have come full circle and you are now incontinent, so you got exactly what you wanted, so relax and enjoy yourself and don't worry about monitoring how much you are releasing, just be happy that you are able to do what it is you want to do the way you want to do it . I'm glad that I did what I did, and I'm happier now : some people go through life and they think this is one of the worst things that can possibly happen to them, being incontinent either one way or the other or both . I can tell you from experience it's not as bad as people make it out to be, but some people may be scared or worried or upset over it, because they don't have as good of control as they did once.

so my friend: go outside and have yourself a ball, get yourself a nice cold drink and sit and a nice comfortable chair, and drink the beer and relish in the fact that you have done what you wanted to do and you are succeeding. So many times in my life, I never thought that I would ever be able to make the top of the hill, or that people would be there with me when I reach the top. I was wrong: because people that love me will always be with me as I go through my journey, and they may leave me because they get old and they pass on, but somebody will always be at the top of the hill to welcome you, or to just be there for you. You have come to the top of the hill- you have made your decision, and I bet you're happy about it comma just like

Congrats!

Brian

[cathdiap]

With a stent I am continually leaking. It is impossible to pay attention to it all the time.  The leaking just happens while I am busy doing other stuff or while I am asleep and that is why I am wearing a diaper. But that doesn't mean I am becoming indifferent to it. What I like about it is that it is an ongoing situation that my diaper has to take care of. When it is close to getting soaked or when I am suddenly wetting in large amounts it will have my full attention. That's my responsibility... changing before it's too late.

 

[stevewet]

After 10 years of wearing nappies I often pee without really noticing now. Sometimes I am aware of it but don't give it much thought.